Media: the middle things, in reference to the first and last things: or, The means, duties, ordinances, both secret, private and publike, for continuance and increase of a godly life, once begun, till we come to Heaven. Wherein are discovered many blessed medium's or duties, in their right method, manner and proceedings; that so a Christian (the spirit of Christ assisting) may walk on in the holy path, which leads from his new birth to everlasting life. / Drawn, for the most part, out of the most eminently pious, and learned writings of our native practical divines: with additionals of his own, by Isaac Ambrose, minister of the Gospel at Preston in Amoundernes.

CHAP. IV.

SECT. 1. Of the Nature of Self-Examination.

VVE have done with Watchfulness, the eye that oversees and directs all other Duties: Now to the Duties themselves; wherein we shall follow this method: 1. To con∣sider them as in reference to private persons: 2. As in reference to Families: 3. As in reference to publique Assemblies. The Philosopher in his method of Practical Philosophy, first handles Ethicks, in reference to particular persons; and then he pro∣ceeds to his Oeconomicks, in reference to Families; and lastly, to his Politicks, in reference to Cities and Countreys. Of many particulars arise a Family; of many Families is constituted a City: The same order shall we follow in these Divine Arts, of our Ethicks, Oeconomicks, and Politicks. And we shall first handle Duties in reference to particular persons; of which sort are these:

• 1. Self-Examination.
• 2. Experiences.
• 3. Evidences.
• 4. Meditation.
• 5. Life of Faith.

The first Duty is Self-Examination: And for our better di∣rection in the exercise of this Duty, observe we

• 1. Nature.
• 2. The Objects.
• 3. The Maner.
• 4. The Time of it.

For the Nature of it, Self-Examination is a kinde of judi∣ciary proceeding, in which a man keepeth private Sessions at home, passing a Sentence on his Thoughts, Words, and Actions.

Or, for more distinct knowledge, two sorts of actions are implyed in this Duty of Examination, some

• ...Essential.
• ...Accidental.

1. Of the former sort, or of Essentials, are these three,

• ...Discussion.
• ...Application.
• ...Censure.

1. Discussion is a sifting of our life and dealings, by which we pull things out of the heap, where before they lay confused, and unseen, and by which we set every fact of ours in open view, that it may be scanned, and seen by it self what it is.

2. Application is a laying of these acts, thus searched and found out, to the Rule of Gods Law, which is the Touchstone of all our doings, and according to which God will judge us at the last day.

3. Censure is the judgement that our Mindes and Conscien∣ces give upon our Thoughts, Words and Deeds, according to the Rule of the Law. These three laid together, make up the na∣ture of this work of Examination: So that we may not unfitly describe it out of its own Principles, thus: —

Self-Examination is, A Discussion of a mans life, that his Thoughts, Words and Deeds may be seen, and censured according to the Rule of Gods Law.

2. Of the latter sort (or of Accidentals) are these two; viz.

• The one going before Examination.
• The other following after Examination.

1. That which goes before, is a purpose to better a mans Spi∣ritual estate, by

• ...Correcting what is amiss.
• ...Confirming what is right.

2. That which follows after it, is a practice of such Rules as may back our Examination, and make it more effe••tual to us: I shall mention onely these three Rules:

1. That after we have examined, we then compare our pre∣sent, with our former estate, and consider whether we have en∣creased or decayed in grace.

2. That if we have profited in grace, we then consider by what means we have profited, that so we may make more con∣stant use of such means; or if we have decayed in grace, we

then observe by what temptations we were overcome, that so our former errors may make us more wary, and more resolute against them for the future.

3. That as we meet with any occasions of moment, concern∣ing which we had a purpose to better our Spiritual estate, we then recal home our thoughts, and make use of our former re∣solutions, and practice what we did purpose. — Out of all these laid together, we may more fully describe it thus:

Self-Examination is a discussion of a mans life, for the finding out the true estate of a mans soul towards God, accompanied with a purpose and practice of whatsoever upon tryal shall appear re∣quisite for the salvation and good of a mans soul.

SECT. 2. Of the objects of Self-Examination.

THe object of our Examination, is either

• ...Evil works, or Sin.
• ...Good works, or Duties.

1. We must examine our sin in

• ...General.
• ...Special.

1. In General, whether of Omission or Commission: For as in the last Judgement, our Lord will not onely give Sentence against Murthers, and Oppressions, but against Uncharitable∣ness, and Unmercifulness, in not feeding the hungry, in not lodging the stranger, in not clothing the naked, in not visiting the sick: So when we judge our selves, we must censure not onely our Robbing the poor, but our not Relieving the poor; not onely our Commissions of evil, but our Omissions of good.

2. In Special, whether of our Calling or Nature: These sins may breed special danger, because we are ready to drop into them of our own dispositions; and therefore in the daily care of our souls, we had need to examine our selves concerning these sins.

2. As we must examine our evil works, so our good works.

1. Because we are many times deceived with shews, thinking that good which is evil: Thus Paul thought he shewed much zeal, when he persecuted the Churches of Christ;* 1.1 and Micah

thought he highly merited Gods favor,* 1.2 when he kept a Priest for Idolatrous service.

2. Because in the very works which are truly good, we do many times intermingle corruptions of our own; sometimes evil ends, and sometimes evil thoughts, and sometimes we per∣form them in an evil maner; but always in our best devotions there are many imperfections and failings. Indeed this Exami∣nation is a Duty necessary to all Duties: If we believe, we must do it with the heart, Rom. 10.10.* 1.3 If we sing Psalms, we must do it with the Spirit, 1 Cor. 14.15.* 1.4 If we come to the Lords Supper, first Let a man examine himself, and so let him eat, 1 Cor. 11.28.* 1.5 If we pray, we must therein examine: And hence (as some ob∣serve) the same* 1.6 Hebrew word signifies to pray, and to judge a mans self.

But because Duties are of several sorts,

• inward
• outward

of

• ...Heart.
• ...Tongue.
• ...Action.

In examining these three, we shall inclusively examine all sorts of Duties that are in reference to them.

SECT. 3. Of the maner of examining our sins in general.

THat we may examine our sins of all sorts, observe these Rules:

1. Procure we a Catalogue of our sins, both before, and since our conversion; and to that purpose, go we through the Com∣mandments one by one, and in each of them consider what sins are condemned, and what Duties are enjoyned: And hereupon question with our own hearts, Whether have I committed this or that sin? 2. Whether have I neglected this or that Duty? and as the heart answers, be ready to note down those sins whereof we stand guilty.

2. The sins thus found out, make we a solemn Confession to God, with deep Humiliation; let them be dolorous Confes∣sions, with grief and sorrow for sin, and from a sight and sence of it: Thus Ephraim did, and God was feign to acknowledge it,* 1.7 I have surely heard Ephraim bemoan himself: O the Lord

loves to hear such bemoaning Ephraims, and such bemoaning Confessions.

3. The sins thus confessed and bewailed, let us judge and con∣demn our selves: This is that Duty instanced in by the Apostle, If we would judge our selves, we should not be judged.* 1.8 There is a Tribunal that we should every one erect within us, where Con∣science is the Accuser, Reason the Judge, Fear the Goaler, Sor∣row the Executioner.

4. After we have thus judged our selves, let us then ap∣peal to Gods Throne of Grace; let us desire of God salvation in the Lord Jesus Christ; let us cast all our confidence on him; who never fails them that put their trust in him, and in his pre∣cious Merits.

SECT. 4. Of the maner of examining our special sins.

THat we may examine our special sins, our Dalilah sins, ob∣serve we these Rules:

1. Endeavor we to finde out this sin; and in our scrutiny, our examination, we may discover it by these marks:

1. That it is the Dalilah, which thy own Conscience and the finger of God in the Ministery many times meets with, and chiefly checks thee for.

2. That which thou art lothest to leave, hast least power to resist, and which most hinders the resignation and submission of thy soul and body to the Word and Will of God.

3. That which God often corrects in thee, even in the inter∣pretation and guilty acknowledgement of thy self-accusing heart; and if ever the sword of the Spirit shall cleave it from thy bosom (which is infinitely to be desired) it will cost the bitterest tears, and deepest groans.

4. Thoughts, Plots, and Projects about it (a thousand to one) ordinarily seize upon thy heart at the very first waking, if they have not broken thy sleep, and troubled thee in thy dreams.

2. The sin once found out, do we pursue it, and make we a so∣lemn Confession to God of it; mourn we under it, and desire we help from God for his mortifying Grace.

3. Settle we in our selves a purpose of heart, to forbear it for time to come: In undertaking of which purpose, it will be ex∣pedient to set our selves some short space of time, as for a day or a moneth, &c. and when the prefixed time is come, we should then question our selves, How well we have performed? or how, or wherein we have failed? and then begin a new purpose.

4. Be we ever jealous of our selves, and of our infirmity and proneness to this sin. Now we have two grounds of this jea∣lousie:

• 1. Lest we be deceived about it.
• 2. Lest we be overtaken with it.

1. We may be deceived, in supposing that we are utterly di∣vorced, and quite delivered from this bosom-sin, when it is no∣thing so; as thus:—

1. We may change onely in the outward form, and not in truth: For instance, whereas the same sin of Covetousness doth utter and express it self by Usury, Symony, Sacriledge, Bribery, Grinding the faces of the poor, Detaining ill-gotten goods, without restitution; we may perhaps insensibly glide out of one gulf of griping cruelty into another, or it may be from one of these more notorious, to some other less observed, and less odious in the world, and yet still abide in the chambers of Death, and under the tyranny of this reigning sin.

2. We may surcease, and refrain from the outward gross acts of such hateful villanies, and yet our inwards be still de∣filed with insatiable, sensual hankerings after them: For instance, Whereas the foul sin of Uncleanness doth actuate it self by Fornication, Adultery, Self-pollution, immoderate abuse of the Marriage-bed, Speculative wantonness, we may perhaps forbear the external acts of uncleanness, and yet lie and languish in the delightful revolvings of them in our minde, in adulteries of thought.

3. We may change the kinde of our bosom-sin, in respect of the matter, form, object, every way; and yet upon the matter it self, it is but the exchange of one foul fiend for another: For instance, Wantonness may be our sweet sin in youth, and World∣liness in old age; Hypocrisie may reign at one time, Apostacy at another; Furious Zeal for one while, Prophane Irreligiousness for another.

4. We may for a time pull our necks out of this strong yoke of Satan (out of a melancholick pang of slavish terror, serious fore-thought of death, lying everlastingly in Hell) but because it is not the work of the word, humbling us soundly under Gods mighty hand, planting Faith, and infusing mortifying power, anon will this unclean Spirit return, and rule in us again far more imperiously then before.— I know it is not impossible, but that a man after his conversion, by the sudden surprisal of some violent temptation, and cunning train of Satan, may be haled back to commit his sweet sin again (though it be an heavy case, and to be lamented, if it were possible, with tears of blood) yet he never doth, nor never can return to wallow in it again, or to al∣low it: Here is the difference, The temporary man, after his formal enforced forbearance, engulphs himself again with more greediness into the sensuality and pleasures of his bosom-sin, he lies in it, and delights in it, and hardens himself more obstinate∣ly in it: but the sound convert after a relapse, his heart bleeds a∣fresh with extraordinary bitterness, and he cryes more mightily to God, for the return of his pleased countenance, and he prayes, and fortifies the breach with stronger resolution, and more invincible watchfulness against future assaults; observe then, if our change be but formal, outward, mistaken, tempora∣ry, we are utterly deceived, and therefore we had need to be jealous of our selves.

2. We may be overtaken with this sin, before we be aware; our nature is very apt to take fire, our corrupt heart is like Tin∣der or Gunpowder: This sin is called Pecatum in deliciis, our darling pleasure, our minion delight; it is ever ready at every turn to allure us, tempt us, perswade us; and the soul by a secret sensual inclination is apt to follow it, to feed upon it, with much affectionate sweetness: It may be we have sometimes given it a deaths wound, by the power of his might, who is our all in all, and yet as it is said of the first Beast, this deadly wound is ready to be healed again; it is an Hydra with many heads,* 1.9 and if we be not still hacking and hewing, it will revive and recollect strength, and at last rage more then before; and therefore what need have we to this holy jealousie?

5. Above all, without which all the rest are nothing, believe we the Promises of Pardon, and of Sanctification: The Pro∣mises

of the first sort, I spoke to in our Watchfulness over this sin, and therefore now I shall speak of the latter. The Lord hath promised to deliver us from all our enemies,* 1.10 that we may serve him in righteousness and holiness all the days of our life; The Lord hath promised to write his Law in our hearts, and that can never be, except he obliterate all the old-writing: Now then believe these Promises, and press the Lord with them, or we shall never be able to outwrestle our lusts; what though we finde our sweet sins, confess them, resolve against them, be jea∣lous over them? unless we go to God and Christ in the Promises for strength, we shall lie down in sorrow: Could we of our selves subdue our Corruptions, God would not take this upon him, to give us new hearts, and new Spirits, to sanctifie us, to make us new creatures, to crucifie the flesh, to weaken the do∣minion of sin: Alas, he knows our weakness, and he knows all is in his own power; and therefore if we would mortifie these lusts, we must go to him, and beseech him to do it. When a man is once in Christ, he lives by a Principle without himself: I live by the faith of the Son of God (said Paul) who loved me,* 1.11 and gave himself for me: If we ask, Why will the Lord have our strength out of our selves? why may not a man have suf∣ficient habitual strength in himself, by which he may be able to outwrestle lusts, and overcome temptations? The reason is, Be∣cause no flesh shall rejoyce in it self, and therefore Christ is made Sanctification unto us: O let us believe these Promises, and have continual dependance on the Lord Jesus Christ.

SECT. 5. Of the maner of examining our hearts.

THat we may rightly examine our hearts, observe we these Rules:

1. Use we retiredness when we fall on this work: To this purpose,* 1.12 saith the Psalmist, Commune with your own hearts on your beds, and be still: When we get alone purposely to study our hearts, our hearts will then come to us, they will be more

apt to discourse with us privately, then in a crowd; and there∣fore set we some time apart out of our publike or particular occasions to deal with our hearts, as David, who after the pub∣like business was done, turned home to visit,* 1.13 and to bless his own house.

2. Examine what thoughts are within, and which way runs the stream of our thoughts: The heart is an house of common resort, into which multitudes of thoughts, like so many guests, enter, and have free and open access; onely if it be sancti∣fied, it ordinarily distils holy, sweet, and useful Meditations out of all objects; as the Bee sucks honey out of every flower, and a good stomack sucks sweet and wholesom nourishment out of what it takes to it self: So doth a holy heart (so far as sanctified) convert and digest all into Spiritual and useful thoughts: But on the contrary, if it be wicked, then a world of vain, light, wanton, prophane, and dissolute thoughts lodge there, and defile those rooms they lodge in; which made the Lord say to Jerusalem, O Jerusalem,* 1.14 wash thine heart from wickedness, that thou mayest be saved: How long shall thy vain thoughts lodge within thee?

3. If upon examination we finde a lothness to entertain holy thoughts, and unsteadiness in them, a misplacing of them (which disorder is a vanity and sin, be the thought materially never so good) or if we finde in us many times a taking thought to fulfil the lusts of the flesh,* 1.15 a representing or acting over sin in our thoughts (O how much of that precious sand of our thoughts run out this way) then let us humble our selves for them; and thus Agur teacheth,* 1.16 If thou hast done foolishly in lifting up thy self, or if thou hast thought evil, lay thine hand upon thy mouth; (i.) be humbled, be ashamed of these thoughts.

4. After humiliation, we must proceed to Judgement: And to that end consider, what will be the subject of that great Inquest at the last day? The Apostle answers,* 1.17 The counsels of the heart: And who will be the Executioner? even Thoughts accusing: O then let us prevent this doom, and this execu∣tion, by our own Judgement and Self-condemnation; let us sen∣tence our hearts, and whip out our evil thoughts, and give them their pass.

5. Let us watch over, and observe our hearts ever after: Thoughts will be crowding in, when we have done all we can, yet let them know that they past not unseen; where strict watch and ward is kept, where Magistrates, and Marshals, and Con∣stables are diligent to examine vagrant persons, you shall have few of them there: The reason that such swarms of vagrant thoughts make their Rendezvouz, and pass in our hearts, is, Be∣cause there is no strict watch kept, we observe not our hearts with all diligence.

6. Set our thoughts in order every morning, strengthen and perfume our Spirits with some gracious Meditations on Gods Holiness, Majesty, Omnipresence, Omniscience: My soul waiteth for the Lord (said David) more then they that watch for the morning;* 1.18 observe it, if you please, when we first open our eyes, there stand many suitors attending on us to speak with our thoughts, even as Clyents at Lawyers doors; but speak we first with our God, and he will say something to our hearts, and settle them for all the day after.

7. Now and then propose we to our hearts these two que∣stions: 1. Heart, how dost thou? a few words, but a very serious question: you know, this is the first question, and the first salute that we use to one another, How do you Sir? I would to God we would sometimes thus speak to our hearts, Heart, how dost thou? how is it with thee for thy Spiritual estate? 2. Heart, what wilt thou do? or, Heart, what dost thou think will become of thee and me? as that dying Roman once said, Animula; va∣gula, blandula, &c. Poor, wretched, miserable soul, whither art thou and I agoing, and what wi••l become of thee, when thou and I shall part? This very thing doth Moses propose to Israel, though in other terms,* 1.19 O that they would consider their latter ends! And O that we would propose this question constantly to our hearts to consider and debate upon!* 1.20 Commune with your own hearts, said David; q.d. debate the matter betwixt you and your own hearts to the very utmost: Let your hearts be so put to it in communing with them, as that they may speak their very bottom. Commune,] or hold a serious communication, and clear intelligence and acquaintance with your own hearts: It was the Confession of a Divine, sensible of his neglect in this kinde,* 1.21 I have lived (saith he) forty years, and somewhat more,

and carried my heart in my bosom all this while, and yet my heart and I are as great strangers, and as utterly unacquainted, as if we had never come near one another: — Nay, I know not my heart, I have forgotten my heart; Ah my bowels, my bowels! that I could be grieved at the very heart, that my poor heart and I have been so unacquainted! We are fallen into an Athenian age,* 1.22 spending our time in nothing more then in telling or hearing News: How go things here? How there? How in one place? How in another? But who is there that is inquisitive, How are things with my poor heart? Weigh but in the Ballance of a se∣rious Consideration, what time we have spent in this Duty, and what time otherwise? and for many scores and hundreds of hours or days that we owe to our hearts in this Duty, Can we write Fifty? or where there should have been fifty vessels full of this Duty, can we finde Twenty or Ten? O the days, moneths, years we bestow upon sin, vanity, the affairs of this world, whiles we afford not a minute in converse with our own hearts, concerning their case.

SECT. 6. Of the maner of examining our Tongues.

THat we may rightly examine our Tongues, observe we these Rules:

1. Search we into our dispositions, whether we are men of few words, or given to much speaking? The tongue may offend both ways, but especially if we are wordy.

2. Peruse with a broken heart and bleeding affections, the many kindes of those sins of the tongue, whereof (no doubt, at one time or other) we have been deeply guilty. Some num∣ber them in thirty particulars; as, Blasphemy, Murmuring Defence of sin, Swearing, Forswearing, Lying, Equivocating, Slandering, Flattering, Cursing, Railing, Brawling, Scoffing, Giving ill counsel, Sowing seeds of Discord amongst Neighbors, Double-tonguedness, Boasting, Discovering of secrets, Hasty or in∣discreet, Threatning, Rash Promises and Vows, Idle words, Lo∣quacity, or Immoderate talkativeness, Filthy talking, Scurrility, or foolish Jesting, Tale-telling, Raising of rumors, Sinful silence,

Rash censuring, Malicious informing, Whispering.

3. Consider we the last Judgement, when men shall give ac∣count for every idle word;* 1.23 for by our words we must be justified, and by our words we must be condemned. Will it not be a fearful Bill, wherein must be written every word that we spoke all our life long? O let us tremble to think of it, and judge and con∣demn our selves, and seal up our lips with amazement, as if we were struck dumb.

4. Let us ever after set a watch at the door of our lips: I said,* 1.24 I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue; I will keep my mouth with a bridle. It is storied, That when this verse was read, or Lectured upon to a religious person, he cryed out,* 1.25 Stay there, and I will hear the rest when I have learned that verse: A long time after being demanded, Why he returnrd not to his old Master, he answered, that As yet he was not per∣fect in his first lesson: And hence the Apostle could say, If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.* 1.26 It is an hard work to bridle the tongue, and therefore we had need to watch over it.

5. Pray we the Lord for the guidance of his Spirit in right governing of our tongue; The preparation of the heart in man,* 1.27 and the answer of the tongue, is from the Lord; and there∣fore prayed David,* 1.28 Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth, keep the door of my lips:* 1.29 O the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity, as the fire flies about, so the tongue is said to have wings; as the fire assimulates and turns every thing into its own nature, so the tongue assimulates the hearts of men to whom it speaks; we had need therefore to pray, that God will order this fire in our mouthes, lest we kindle such a fire in the breasts of others, as we shall never live to quench again, and so kindle the fire of Gods wrath, which shall smoke to our destruction.

SECT. 7. Of the maner of examining our Actions.

THat we may rightly examine our actions (I mean such actions as are matters and concernments of the soul, whe∣ther the work of saving grace, or the individual companions of

this saving work, as Duties and Graces) observe we these Rules:

1. For the work of saving grace or Conversion, examine—

1. Whether ever our souls were wounded by a clear discovery and wide opening of our many ulcerous secret corruptions? Whether ever they were affected and pressed with a through sence and feeling of the fierce wrath of God, ready to break out into unquenchable flames of vengeance against us?

2. Whether after these bruisings and breakings, our souls ever cast their eyes upon that infinite sea of Gods mercy, gloriously streaming through the bleeding wounds of Jesus Christ upon every truly broken, contrite and wounded heart? Whether ever they setled and fastned their sight stedfastly upon their bles∣sed Redeemer, as he was hanging on the Cross, strugling with his Fathers wrath for our sins, and crying out at last, It is finished?

3. Whether after this sight, and consideration of the work of our Redemption, our souls ever hungred and thirsted after the precious blood of the Lord Jesus, far more greedily and insatiably, then ever the panting heart thirsted after the rivers of water? Whether ever with strong cryes, prays, groans and sighs, they threw themselves with some comfort and confidence into the bleeding and blessed bosom of our dear Redeemer, and there hid themselves sweetly and deeply in his sacred wounds, and goared side, from the eager pursuit of the wounding Law, the rage of Satan, and stingings of their own Consciences?

4. Whether after this fast-hold upon the Passion and Merits of Christ, our souls ever received this comfortable news, That we were pardoned, justified, intitled by the Covenant of grace unto a Crown of Immortality, and endless joys in the Hea∣vens? Whether this ever melted us into an Evangelical Repen∣tance, to bewail heartily all our sins, and former wretchedness of life, for having so vilely and rebelliously grieved and offended so gracious and loving a Father?

5. Whether after these comforts and sorrows, our souls ever resolutely abandoned the practice of every gross sin, and threw out of their affections the liking and allowance of every the least infirmity? Whether we have ever since setled our selves to holiness of life, universal obedience to all Gods Command∣ments, though not in perfection and height of degree, yet in truth and sincerity of heart?

It maybe every soul (truly converted) cannot speak affirma∣tively to every of these Quaeres in intention, or height of mea∣sure, though for the substance they can; and if so, we may con∣clude, there is the work of saving grace.

2. For the individual companions of this saving work, as

• ...Duties.
• ...Graces.

1. For Duties, examine —

1. How we manage them before, in, and after the work? Of this we shall inform more particularly in most of the Duties, as we handle them in order.

2. What sensible and quickning communion we have with Christ in our Duties? This is the main business and end of all the Ordinances of Christ. It is ordinary with us to terminate our Devotions with a circular course of praying Morning and Evening, or of coming to Church every Lords day; we look no further, but onely to the exercise of the body, we see not any thing in the power of Christ shining out in strength in these Duties: And therefore examine we particularly—

1. Whether we have (in the use of any Divine Ordinance) an intimate, tender and effectual presence of Christ himself with us?

2. Whether we have a constant influence, a quickning power of Spiritual refreshing, a sensible Spiritual taste of Divine love, or of God himself by this presence of Christ? In right per∣formance of Duties, we come to have fuller Union with Christ, and by this coming to him, we come to, and see the Father by him: And hence follows by this presence of Christ, these three things, 1. Peace with, and a Spiritual joy in God: 2. A strength communicated to walk with Christ, and in his power with God. 3. A sealed assurance of eternal communion with God in glory.

2. For Graces, examine —

1. The truth of our Graces.

2. The growth of our Graces.

3. The wants of our Graces: All which we shall discuss at large in the Sacrament of the Lords Supper.

SECT. 8. Of the time of our Self-Examination.

THe Scriptures have determined no set time, yet some rules there are, partly in Scripture, and partly prescribed by holy men, which we may make use of, as thus:

1. There is no danger of surfetting upon too much; the oftner we reckon with our souls, the fewer things we shall have to reckon for every time; and the fewer things there be, the more readily will they be called to minde, and more exactly be scanned: This made Bernard* 1.30 say of this work, If we will do it as often as we need, we must do it always.

2. The time that learned and devout men commend to us, is once every day: So Chrysostom,* 1.31 Let this account be kept every day; — Have a little book in thy Conscience, and write therein thy daily transgressions; and when thou layest thee down on thy bed, then bring forth thy book, and take an account of thy sins.

3. The time that especially Scripture holds forth to us, is at evening or at night: I call to remembrance, said David,* 1.32 my song in the night; I commune with my own heart, and my spirit made diligent search: And thus he bids us,* 1.33 Commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Upon which words says Chry∣sostom, What means this that he saith, Commune with your own hearts upon your beds? q.d. after supper, when you lie down, and are ready to sleep, and have great quietness and silence, without presence or disturbance of any, then erect a Tribunal for your own Consciences.

4. Other times may be as occasion requires: When the Church of Israel was in distress, and sighed to God, then they encou∣raged each other, Let us search and try our ways,* 1.34 and turn again to the Lord. When Christians purpose to receive the Lords Supper, then Let a man examine himself, and so let him eat:* 1.35 When we observe days of Fast for humiliation of our souls; or when we observe a Sabbath of Feasts, or especially when we are cast down upon our sick beds, and in expectation of our dissolution, then it's time to examine, and to judge our selves,* 1.36 that we be not judged.

5. Besides those daily and casual times, it is convenient also,

after some good space of time, to examine our selves over again, ex. gr. after a moneth or a year, to consider our selves for the moneth or year past, that we may see how we have profited or decayed for that space of time; for as our members grow, and our shape every day changeth, and our black hairs turn gray, while we perceive it not, yet after some space of time, we may easily discern; so it is in our souls, besides the manifest changes which sometimes appear at the instant, there are certain insen∣sible alterations, which are not to be discerned, but after some continuance of time: And for rectifying of these, it is necessary to take a more general view of our souls, in a monethly or year∣ly examination; by this means we shall see wherein we are bet∣ter or worse, how our zeal is encreased or decreased; if we are bettered since our last general account, we shall have occasion to praise God; if otherwise, we must therefore be humbled, and blow the coals of zeal, and stir up the grace of God in us, that we may strengthen the things which remain,* 1.37 and are ready to dye.

To this purpose we read of many Ancients that were accu∣stomed to keep Diaries or Day-books of their actions, and out of them to take an account of their lives: Such a Register (of Gods dealings towards him, and of his dealings towards God in main things) the Lord put into a poor creatures heart to keep in the year 1641. ever since which time he hath continued it, and once a year purposes (by Gods grace) to examine himself by it; the use and end of it is this:

1. Hereby he observes something of God to his soul, and of his soul to God. 2. Upon occasion he pours out his soul to God in prayer accordingly, and either is humbled or thankful. 3. He considers how it is with him in respect of time past, and if he have profited in grace, to finde out the means whereby he hath profited, that he may make more constant use of such means; or wherein he hath decayed, to observe by what tem∣ptation he was overcome, that his former errors may make him more wary for the future.

Besides many other uses, as of his own Experiences and Evi∣dences, which he may (by the Lords help) gather out of this Diary.

SECT. 9. The daily Register of a weak, unworthy Servant of Christ, for some years.

IT may be expected that I give some Example hereof; where∣in, if I may any way advance Christ, or benefit his Church, though I lie in the dust, I shall willingly, in such things as are fit∣ting to publish, subscribe the daily Register of a poor unworthy Servant of Christ, indeed one of the meanest of his Masters family for some space of time.

* 1.381641.

JAnuary 24. This day came the news of my Mothers death, whom (for the daily prayers made, and many tears shed for me) I esteemed as another Monica, and therefore I had cause to mourn for such and so great a loss.

May 20. This day in the Evening the Lord in his mercy poured into my soul the ravishing joy of his blessed Spirit. O how sweet was the Lord unto me? I never felt such a lovely taste of Heaven before: I believe this was the joyful sound, the Kisses of his mouth, the Sweetnesses of Christ, the Joy of his Spirit, the new wine of his kingdom; it continued with me about two days.

1642.

January 6. This day I observed a private Fast in my house; where by the Spirit of Prayer in some Christians, all hearts were warmed, affections moved, and Christ manifested his presence in the midst of us.

Feb. 2. I Preached (at the desire of the people) the first Ser∣mon that ever was Preached in Garstange Chappel: I hope a blessed beginning, the Lord prosper the Word in that place.

Feb. 5. The Lord (as once before wonderfully) so this day again delivered me from the danger of fire, which had seized on some part of the house or stuff in it where I lived.

May 15. I first Preached against all Superstitious vanities, and particularly against the Cross in Baptism: This was the first

occasion of the peoples general discontent, ever since when some of them have been irreconcileable: Now begun the Divi∣sions of Church and State. Reformation proves an hard work. I received strong consolation afterwards out of Psal. 37. v. 32, 33, 34. and out of Psal. 57. throughout.

Aug. 2. This day I observed a private Fast, with a godly Neighbor-Minister, wherein some of his, and some of my Hearers joyned: I took this as a fore-runner of Consociation of Churches.

Novemb. 15. I was taken Prisoner, but some Gentlemen offered themselves to be bound for my appearing when called; and so the Lord set me free: Now began the troublesom times; and this year the Lord many a time assisted me in the Preaching of his Word boldly to the Enemy, both above ordinary, and far above my self.

1643.

Febr. 9. This day the Lord gave Preston (which was kept Ga∣rison by the Commissioners of Array) into the Parliaments hands. I saw much of God in it; O that Preston would have known, or yet would know the things belonging to its peace!

March 20. This day the Lord gave Preston again into the hands of the Commissioners of Array, much blood was shed; I was taken Prisoner, and yet preserved and delivered by the good hand of God.

July 5. The Affairs of this County were (by Gods Provi∣dence) so altered again, that this day we observed an holy Fast, and Thanksgiving to God publikely, for his peoples deliveran∣ces in Lancashire. There was many mixtures this year of Gods frowns and smiles to his Saints.

1644.

Jan. 28. Many godly and sweet Ministers exiled from York∣shire, were provided for in Preston, and the parts adjacent: And this day they were pleased to observe with me a private Fast in my house; it was a comfortable day.

May 2. Bolton was taken: Colonel R. Forces Routed, and many a sweet Saint slain; no Quarter would be given, so that it grew into a Proverb, Bolton-quarter (i.) present death with∣out

mercy: Now I removed into Yorkshire, and the Lord pro∣vided for me comfortably, especially in Leeds.

June 14. Other two godly Ministers of Lancashire with my self, observed a publike Fast in Leeds new Church: The best people in and about the Town joyned with us.

June 21. This day the same Ministers joyned in a private day; some Christians of the place joyned with us, and the Lord sweetly inlarged our hearts: A good sign that he would return favorable answers.

July 2. and 5. Two solemn Fasts were observed at Manche∣ster: It was observed, That at the very same time of the former day, whilest an holy grave Minister was praying, that the Lord gave us the Victory (which was the turn of England) over Prince Ruperts Forces.

July 10. and 11. were days of Thanksgiving observed at Manchester for the same Victory: They were two comfort∣able days.

Aug. 17. I returned to Preston, and the next day Preached there before the General and Colonels: This was the Lords doings, to him be the glory and praise for ever.

1645.

Feb. 27. This day I had given me an Augmentation to my former Means; The Lord grant I may rightly improve it to his glory. Incline my heart unto thy testimonies,* 1.39 and not to cove∣tousness.

March 11. This day, with some other Christians, I ob∣served a private, but solemn day of Thanksgiving: The Duty no sooner done, but News came to the house (which exceeding∣ly heightned our joys in the Lord) that Bristol was taken.

Decemb. 2. This day Latham-Hall was delivered into the Parliaments hands: It is observed, That as it was twice Be∣sieged, so on the same day twelve-moneth that the former Siege was raised, was the latter Siege laid; and it is supposed (as it was foretold by a well-wisher to the house) that the blood shed at Bolton pulled down those walls.

1646.

Febr. 8. This day, after the Lord had enabled me in the

Preaching of his Word, one of my Hearers came to me with tears and complaints, doubting her case and Spiritual condition: Now the Lord bring in souls, and make his Word powerful unto them.

May 20. I came to Weddicre, which I did upon mature re∣solution, every year about that pleasant Spring time (if the Lord pleased) to retire my self, and in some solitary and silent place to practise especially the secret Duties of a Christian: In this place are sweet silent Woods, and therein this moneth, and part of the next, the Lord by his Spirit wrought in me Evange∣lical Repentance for sin, gave me sweet comforts, and Spiritual refreshings in my commerce, and intercourse with him, by Prayer, and Meditation, and Self-Examination, &c. discovered to me the causes of my many troubles and discouragements in my Minister••: whereupon I prayed more fervently, pressed the Lord with his promises, set his Power, and Wisdom, and Mercy on work;* 1.40 and so waited and believed, till the Lord an∣swered every Petition, and I could not but observe his hand in it. This was a comfortable time to my soul. June 26. I returned home again.

Aug. 7. I was ill troubled concerning the Divisions amongst us, and the reproaches of some cast upon me; but at last I drew comfort from Psal. 37.4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

Aug. 23. I Preached, and all the hour the Stitch was sore in my side; after Sermon I grew worse, and my sickness daily in∣creased, the Physitian could not by any means give me ease: I then made my Will, gave Exhortations to the chief of my Hearers; yet after it pleased the Lord to recover me, and Septemb. 13. I Preached again, when Mr. A. joyned with me as Assistant. O the fruit of Prayers!

Decemb. 8. We observed a private Fast: Some Ministers joyned with me; it was a heavenly day, the Lord walking in the midst of us. All glory to him.

1647.

March 1. This day Mistris C. sent for me, expressing that my Sermons of Eternity had struck her with fear and trembling, and that she was troubled in Conscience, and desired to be in∣formed in Gods ways: I advised her, and prayed with her;

many a tear came from her: The Lord by his Spirit work in her a through and saving Conversion.

March 3. Mr. B. a godly Minister in the North, being trou∣bled in Conscience, came to me, and desired some Spiritual ad∣vice: After acknowledgement of my unfitness and weakness, I directed, as the Lord enabled. On March 8. we joyned in a private day of Humiliation; and the terror of Conscience had so worn out his Spirit, and wasted his body, that he was not able (as he said) to perform: yet desiring him to depend on God, and to cast himself on him for ability; he prayed with such fervency, humility and brokenness of heart, that he open∣ed the fountains of all eyes about him, and caused a flood of tears in my Chamber, I never saw the like day. All the glory to God.

March 29. This day I received a Letter from Mr. B. who expressed, That he had found a great and constant ease and quiet∣ness of minde, ever since that day he was by the good Providence of God cast amongst us; and that he enjoyed that quietness, as Gods gracious return of our powerful Prayers. O our Father, hallowed be thy Name in this and all things.

March 30. I received a Letter from Mr. S.B. then at War∣wick-house in L. who amongst other things, complained of our great Divisions, many fears, frustrated expectations; so that if God shew mercy now, 'twill be strange to us: but this was our Unum Magnum, to have recourse upwards, to shelter our selves there, and either to wait for better times, or our pass for eternity: This Letter coming from so worthy, holy, and able a Divine, sadned my heart exceedingly, which helped on the Duty of the next day, being a publike Fast day.

April 1. Two Suns were seen in the Firmament by many in Preston: I dare not stick in the natural cause, but rather consi∣der it as a token of Gods heavy displeasure.

April 17. I received a Letter from Mr. C. Minister at H. who visited with sickness, expressed his grief for some former mis∣carriages; desiring that his head were waters, and his eyes a foun∣tain of tears, to weep for his sins: adding, That whatsoever I was minded to say to him, whether by way of Exhortation, Ad∣monition or Reproof, it should be heartily and lovingly accepted, and be as oyl, which should not break his head. O Lord, make

his Repentance sincere, and sanctifie his sickness to his Spiritual advantage.

May 2. This day (after three years want) we administred and received the Sacrament of the Lords Supper; it was the most heavenly heart-breaking day (especially at the time of the Ordinance) that of a long time we enjoyed: Many souls were raised, many hearts melted. Blessed be God.

May 19. This day I went to Weddicre, that in those sweet silent Woods (where I have found God many a time) I might fall upon the practice of some secret Duties, and enjoy sweet communion with my Lord and my God; accordingly I found him in the several Duties of Self-Examination, Meditation, Prayer, Praises, &c. June 21. I returned home again.

June 26. I visited (upon call) R. M. in his bed of sickness, who confessed that the Lord made me an instrument of his souls Conversion; and now in his sickness the Spirit of God had filled his soul with Comforts, and given him Assurance, which he drew from Christ in that precious Promise, Believe in the Lord Jesus,* 1.41 and thou shalt be saved.

June 27. I visited (upon call) E.W. whose heart God touch∣ed in the midst of our Prayers, and she received some Spiritual Comforts.

July 1. R. M. sent for me again, and drawing to his end, he proclaimed Gods goodness, and sweetness, and mercy, which were his last words; and after, in the midst of our Prayers, he gave up the ghost. Now he enjoys that of which he had such sweet fore-tastes. The next day I Preached his Fu∣neral Sermon on that Text which he hit on for his comfort, when he cryed, It is come, it is come.

July 19. This night desiring God to sanctifie my sleep and dreams, that I sinned not in them: I dreamed, that after some troubles of life, my time limitted was at an end, and that I heard the very voyce of God calling me by name into his glorious Kingdom; whither when I came, heavenly ornaments were put upon me by the hand of God, and of Christ: My soul was exceedingly ravished. The Lord grant I may make some use of this, to be more heavenly-minded, and to breathe more after Christ.

July 27. E.W. dyed in midst of our Prayers; the day after

was our Monethly Fast; which done, I Preached again her Funeral Sermon, and the Lord was then pleased so to in∣large my heart, and to pour words into my mouth, that I am confidently perswaded he spake in me, and by me. O Lord bless thy word to the people, and inable me still by the power of thy might.

Octob. 4. This day I was called by some discontented Bre∣thren to a private Fast: I construed this as good news from Heaven, was obedient unto it, and joyned with them. Some sparkles of former love still remained in every one of us: not∣withstanding former breaches, I trust God will by degrees unite our hearts more and more.

Octob. 12. This day I was told by a godly Minister Mr. C. that Mr. B. residing in Glasco, and lighting by Providence on my Book of the First and Last things, it was a means (as he ac∣knowledged) of his Conversion; at this time he was ordained Minister by the L. Classis, and reported to be a holy and able man. Glory and praise to thee, O my Lord and my God.

Octob. 15. A Letter full of Invectives, without any Name subscribed, was in the night cast into my house: I guess the man, but I desire to look up to God, to search my own heart, and to binde the Reproofs as a Crown unto my head; be the Author who he will, I much matter not, Psal. 27.11, 12, 13, 14.

Novemb. 29. This night I was told that Mistris E. D. was upon my Prayer the last Fast troubled in Conscience; and that since she had much talked of me, and desired to see me, but her Companion concealing it, she now apprehended the time was past, and utterly despaired: I sent to her, and at her first entrance into my Chamber, she cryed, O that face! I dare not look on it! Shall such a lost creature as I look upon thee? — Had I seen thee yesternight, I might have been saved; but now I am lost time is past; — O the terrors of the Lord are upon me, &c. yet after she was pleased to hear me pray: And then I advised her, To search out her sin — To submit to the Lord, to wonder at Gods mercy, that yet she lived, and was on this side Hell; — To ac∣knowledge Gods Justice; — To bear the indignation of the Lord; — Not to quarrel with the Lord; — Not to limit him to this or that time; — To learn Eli's and David's lesson, Here I am, let him do with me as seemeth him good in his own eyes. To this she

spake sensibly, acknowledging God to be righteous, That she deserved the state she was in; yet promised to yield, and to be quiet under Gods hand, and to search out her sins: so for that time we parted. After this I understood she grew to a deep melancholy, took Physick, but before she was cured, she was took by her friends into Ireland.

Decemb. 5. I was very weak in body; yet being desired, I went out to pray for R. G. who received thereby some soul-comfort, and within an hour after departed this life.

1648.

January 24. I was troubled in minde to hear, and consider of the many oppositions I found in my Ministery; at night I read a feeling passage in Rogers on Judges 13. thus: — I have often thought it Gods mercy, to keep the knowledge of such dis∣couragements from them that are to enter into the Ministery, lest they should be deterred wholly from it, till by experience they be armed against it.

March 17. I had news of a Justice of Peace who took of∣fence at some passages in my Sermon before the Judges; and after a Messenger came to me from the Judges themselves, to give me an account of the Assizes, and especially of the Tryal of the Jesuit S. concerning whom was the exception taken.

May 3. We had sudden news of some Cavaliers driven out of Scotland, and drawing towards us: At morning, in order of our Family-duty, we read Psal. 124. and at night 1 Pet. 5.7. both which places refreshed and cheared my soul.

May 5. We had blessed news from London, of an happy accord betwixt the Parliament, City and Army; a strange al∣teration on a sudden: Thus God, when he pleaseth, wheels things about, and is that Spirit in the wheels.

May 7. I administred the Sacrament of the Lords Supper; wherein I found much sweetness, and blessed impressions of the Spirit of Christ, and Spiritual inlargements above my self, and a return of Prayers, in that the Lord hedged his Sacrament, that some such came not in, whom I desired to keep out. Halleluiah. Blessed be God.

May 16. I came to Weddicre, to renew my engagements and loves with my Lord and my God this Spring also: My ground is

that of Cant. 2.11, 12.* 1.42 Come my beloved, let us go forth into the fields, &c. there will I give thee my loves. The bridegroom of our souls (said Bernard) is bashful, and more frequently visits his bride in the solitary places.

May 17. I went into the solitary Woods, to practise the se∣cret Duties of a Christian: No sooner stepped in, but the green Trees, and Herbs, and the sweet singing of Birds, stirred up my soul to praise God. After, I begun my work, and continued it during that moneth: At several times I ran through the Duties of Watchfulness, Self-Examination, Experiences, Meditation, the Life of Faith; and many a time I felt many sweet stirrings of Christs Spirit: The Lord Jesus appeared to my soul, gave me the kisses of his mouth, especially in my Prayers to, and praises of his Majesty. Surely thou art my Lord, and I will praise thee: Thou art my God, and I will exalt thee. Halleluiah. Iune 19. I returned home again.

Iune 20. I observed this day an experimental truth, That it is the nature of Mortification to press forwards to have more vertue from Christ: So a Christian should 1. Prevail against the outward act of lust: 2. Against the rising and rowling of it in his fancy: 3. He should then come to hate it, and the thought of it. O Lord write this Law in my heart.

Iuly 3. I observed with some Christians a private Fast, for the removal of Gods hand in immoderate Showers, Sword, Pesti∣lence, &c. and the next day we observed a publike Fast to the same purpose. O when will the Lord return answers!

Iuly 12. We had news that the Scots had invaded this King∣dom.

August 1. In the morning, a little before day, I dreamed fearfully of Satans being busie with me about my bed, and in terror I awaked; the night was rough: Hereupon I meditated on Gods Judgements now abroad on the earth. After in my Family-duty was read Psal. 103. and from ver. 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13. whence I drew some Spiritual comfort.

Aug. 5. I read the Story of Mistris Sarah Wight; I found many a sweet passage in it, that exceedingly affected me, and melted my heart. Now the Lord Christ be magnified and ex∣alted, whom I desire to be my All in All.

Aug. 6. I read a Story of the Indians receiving the Gospel

in New-England, written by Mr. T. Shepherd, wherein was ex∣pressed many gracious impressions of God upon them, as the precious first-fruits of America to Jesus Christ, it much affected my heart to read it. All glory to God.

Aug. 9. Upon further advance, and near approach of D. Hamilton and the Scots, I was forced to remove; and pre∣sently after I heard the enemy was come into Preston.

Aug. 16. A Fast was upon the occasion observed in Man∣chester. In my preparation unto it (reading in the Bible) I light upon Isa. 49.17.—51.12, 13. After the Duty begun, the Lord kept my heart up as in a flame: The day was sweetly observed, but the Conclusion of it (when Mr. Angier prayed) was ex∣ceeding sweet; his Prayer was so working, that I believe it melted all hearts: and for my own, it pleased the Lord so to soften it, and break it, that (so far as I can remember) it was never in such a melting frame in any publike Ordinance be∣fore.

Aug. 22. I returned to Preston, and saw the wonderful works of God, and heard of many miracles of Mercies; — as 1. That the Infantry of the Scots was ruined, 150 Colours taken from them, 36 Barrels of Powder, 100 Barrels of Match, 6000 weight of Bullet, 5000 Muskets, 2000 Pikes, the Enemy being above 30000, and the Parliament forces not above 9000.— 2. That no place (whither the Enemy came) escaped Plunder∣ing, except Preston, which was prevented by the Armies coming in the very nick of time.— 3. That provision of meat was brought into the Town-Hall for the Scots, to the value of a thousand pounds at least, but the Armies seasonable march saved that provision for themselves.—4. That some of the Scots in the pangs of death cryed out, They had broken the Covenant, notwithstanding that the word COVENANT was inter∣woven in their Colours. Upon meditation of the whole busi∣ness, I believed that the Lord heard my Prayers: 1. In that my heart sympathized: 2. In that my heart was filled with joy in the accomplishment: 3. In that the Mercy concerned me, in respect of my person, Family, Congregation, as much as any other.

Aug. 30. and 31. we observed as days of publike Thanks∣giving to God.

Septemb. 25. R.H. dyed: In his life he was incontinent, and run away with a Journeymans wife that wrought with him; he was a frequenter of Alehouses, and kept in his Shop a Jugge, which he called Jack of Newberry, of large size, which he would have sent to the Alehouse sometimes about, and some∣times above twenty times in one day: He was a great Propha∣ner of the Lords day, and ordinarily would have wrought in the way of his Calling on it: Once being demanded to pay Layes, he answered, How could they honestly demand moneys of him, that would not suffer him to work; there were but seven days in the week, and one day he must watch, and another day he must Fast, and a third day he must rest from his work, because it was the Lords day. But this wicked life had a miserable end: for some weeks together he consumed away; at which time of his weakness, Mr. T.A. advised him to repent, to whom he answer∣ed in loud language, Let me alone, let me alone: Another ad∣vised him to call upon God; to whom he answered, I care not for God, and God cares not for me: A Gentlewoman advised him to send for the Minister to pray for him; to whom he an∣swered, Yes, when I have need: and the party then going from him, he bade, The Devil go with her. Upon remembrance of that Text (which he often repeated) No unclean person hath any inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ; he concluded, That then he should never see Gods face in his Kingdom. One whole night (which was terrible to the hearers) he spent in cursing himself and others, bidding often, The Devil take thee, and the Devil fetch me: Sometimes he was heard to say to the by-standers, See, do you not see that black grim fellow that stands there? there will be whisking even now: The very day before he dyed, he drank eighteen Cans of Ale, and (without any visible repen∣tance) the day after, he dyed, without any man or woman in presence, to the amazement of them who first found him dead. O Preston take warning!

Octob. 23. I had this Relation, That one Sir G.C. of an an∣cient Family, sprung from many Knights, was much addicted to the sin of Uncleanness: An ancient Hall he had, which for the statelyness he Idolized; he left behinde him one Son, and two Daughters: His on Sir H. C. followed his Fathers steps, and had onely two Sons lawfully begotten, whereof his yonger dyed

first, together with his Lady; and the other Son having a Maid to wait upon him, she brought the Pestilence into the family, of which his Son and Heir dyed also: He himself (now being in a Consum∣ption) said, That he knew his house was come to its period. About this time his fair house was made a Garison, by which means all his Barns and buildings about it were pulled down; but the storm being over, he began to repair the house, and two Workmen being lately come out of Ireland, having the bloody Flux, brought that disease into the Family; hereupon he removed: And when the house was clear, he returned, and began again to repair the Building; but then the Pestilence by some means or other was brought into the Family, and so he was forced to re∣move again: The house once again cleansed, he (being now far spent in his Consumption) desired two days before his death to be carried to it, saying, He must be the last of that house, and he would dye where his Father dyed before him; accordingly his Ser∣vants conveyed him thither in a Chair. His great affliction was the want of an Heir, and especially that he knew none of his own Name in England (except Bastards) to whom he might convey his Estate: But after much enquiry, he was resolved that there was a Gentleman near his Name (it being but a syllable longer) who lived near the City of Y. This pleased him so well, that he made him (though a stranger) the Heir of all his Lands: In the mean while one of his Sisters dyed, and he himself (be∣ing conveyed as aforesaid) dyed in the same place he so much desired. There was none now alive of that Family, except one Sister, and she not long after his death, dyed also; at whose very time of death (as it was observed by strict calculation) a fire (not known certainly how) seized on that stately Hall, which was so vehement, that none could quench it, till at least two parts of it were burnt to the very ground. Here's a Looking-glass for all unclean persons, and vain-glorious world∣lings.

November 6. At night in my sleep I was exceedingly trou∣bled with fearful dreams of the Kings danger in reference to his person, and of great Commotions in the Kingdom, and Uproars every where; and that I was got into the throng, and could not avoid: At my waking I was exceedingly trou∣bled.

Novemb. 8. Some Christians with me joyned in a day of Hu∣miliation, and sought God for a blessing on our Conferences the beginning of this Winter season.

Novemb 14. A publike Fast was observed in Preston, for a blessing on the Provincial Meeting. Mr. A. and Mr. H. undertook the Burthen, and performed it very ably and sweetly.

Decemb. 6. The Army (as I heard) turned the City Guard back, as they were going to the Parliament House, and under∣took the Guard themselves; after, forty one Members were seized on, and carried away, and the next day they turned all others back, whom they judged not expedient to sit in the House.

Decemb. 25. was a day of jollity to all about us; but some Christians considering the evil days we lived in, joyned with me in humbling our selves, and we found by sweet experience, that It is better to be in the house of mourning, then in the house of mirth.

1649.

January 30. The King (as I heard) was Beheaded before White-hall: The news came to me on Feb. 3. and on Feb. 4. I observed a day of Humiliation with my own Family; which was helped on (for some part of the day) by the publike Ordi∣nances: my ground was 2 Sam. 1.12.

Feb. 16. news, That the Commons Voted the House of Peers useless and dangerous, and therefore to be abolished: As also, That the Office of a King in this Nation is unnecessary, burthen∣som, and dangerous to the Liberty, Safety, and publike Interest of the People of this Nation, and therefore also to be abolished. To this purpose ••hey Voted further, That the Oathes of Alle∣giance and Supremacy should from henceforth be made void, and never more imposed upon any People in this Nation: On March 14. Acts were brought in to these purposes: Hos. 3.4.— 10.3, 4.

April 2. Some Christians with me joyned in a private Thanks∣giving day, for Gods assistance and gracious appearings in our Winter Conferences: It was a comfortable day. All glory to God.

April 7. news, that the Lord Major of London refusing to Pro∣claim the Act for taking away Kingly Government, was put out of his Majoralty, put into the Tower, Fined Two thousand pounds: And that four Ministers were sent for by the Com∣mons out of this County, to answer for their Papers against the Agreement of the People, whereof my self (the most unworthy) was one.

April 8. I preached upon that subject of the Two Witnesses, and cleared it by Scripture proofs, That they were Magistrates and Ministers, and that the time of their killing is yet to come: Zech. 4.14. Rev. 11.3, 4, 7, 10.

April 10. Some Christians with me observed a private day of Humiliation, in reference to our sins and manifold miseries threat∣ning us more and more: It was a good day. O Lord return favorable answers.

April 20. I received a Summons from the Committee of Plun∣dred Ministers, to appear before them, and to answer all such matters as should be objected against me, concerning a Paper en∣tituled, The Agreement of the People taken into consideration, &c. by the Ministers of the Province of Lancaster; The next day I went up towards London.

May 5. I appeared, with the rest of my Brethren, before the Committee: where we confessed our Subscription, and owned the Papers for the substance of them. On May 10, 13, 21, 22, 23, 24, we appeared again, and were not at all questioned of any thing in the Book, but some few Interrogatories were made, Whether we owned the present State-Government, and would submit to it? we had many precious Prayers put up to God for us in the City, many Prayers and private Fasts for us in the Countrey, many sweet incouraging Letters both from Ministers and people in our own parts, and many unexpected friends and acquaintance stirred up by God wheresoever we came; the Lord incouraged and inabled us from time to time, so that the last day Mr. M. (Chairman of the Committee, in whose eyes we found favor) wished publikely there, I would the business of the Lancashire Ministers were well rid out of our hands. All glory and praise be to our good God.

May 6. and 27. I received the Sacrament of the Lords Sup∣per at the hands of Mr. Nalton and Mr. Ash: Their Exhorta∣tions,

Prayers, Consecration and Administring of the Sacra∣ment, exceedingly melted my heart. Blessed be God for them: Blessed be they of the Lord.

May 28. Upon serious consideration of the manifold miscarri∣ages both in Church and State, which I observed since my coming to London, I had some resolutions to spend the remain∣der of my uncertain days in a more retired and private way. At this time I set out of London, and left this Book in the Sta∣tioners hands for the Press. The Lord bless it to his people for his Names sake. Amen.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Phil 3.6.
• * 1.2

  Iudg. 17.13.
• * 1.3

  Rom. 10.10.
• * 1.4

  1 Cor. 14.15.
• * 1.5

  1 Cor. 11.28.
• * 1.6

  〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉
• * 1.7

  Ier 31.18.
• * 1.8

  1 Cor. 11.31.
• * 1.9

  Rev. 13.12.
• * 1.10

  Luke 1 72, 74, 75. Heb. 10.16.
• * 1.11

  Gal. 2.20.
• * 1.12

  Psal. 4.4.
• * 1.13

  2 Sam 6.20.
• * 1.14

  Ier. 4.14.
• * 1.15

  Rom. 13.14.
• * 1.16

  Prov. 30.32.
• * 1.17

  1 Cor. 4.5.
• * 1.18

  Psal. 130.6.
• * 1.19

  Deut. 32.29.
• * 1.20

  Psal 4.4.
• * 1.21

  Mr. Lightfoot.
• * 1.22

  Acts 17.21.
• * 1.23

  Mat. 12.36.37.
• * 1.24

  Psa. 39.2.
• * 1.25

  Tripart. lib. cap. 1.
• * 1.26

  Iames 3.2.
• * 1.27

  Prov 16.1.
• * 1.28

  Psal. 141.3.
• * 1.29

  Iames 3.6.
• * 1.30

  Bern. in Cant. Serm. 58. fin.
• * 1.31

  Chris. Exp. in Psal. 4.
• * 1.32

  Psal 77.6.
• * 1.33

  Psal. 4.4. Chrysost. in loc.
• * 1.34

  Lam 3.40.
• * 1.35

  1 Cor. 11.28.
• * 1.36

  1 Cor. 11.31.
• * 1.37

  Rev. 3.2.
• * 1.38

  Memorandum That in this Diary the year begins with January.
• * 1.39

  Psal. 119 36.
• * 1.40

  Psa 66.19, 20
• * 1.41

  Acts 16.31.
• * 1.42

  Cant. 2.11, 12