More news from Rome, or, Magna Charta discoursed of between a poor man & his wife as also a new font erected in the cathedral-church at Gloucester in October 1663, and consecrated by the reverend moderate bishop, Dr. William Nicolson ... : as also an assertion of Dr. William Warmstrey ... wherein he affirmeth that it is a lesser sin for a man to kill his father than to refrain coming to the divine service established in the Church of England ...

The Epistle Dedicatory, To my dear and beloved Wife.

DEar Wife, I think it most proper to dedicate the ensuing Discourse unto your self, for the use and benefit of my Children: some of them by reason of their tender age, are not as yet able to read; I hope you will see them learn to read (if I dye) and also instruct them the best you can. The Disconrse is partly the same which was discoursed on between our selves: I know if any should see it, they will be apt to say, it is simple discourse; let them know, that it comes from poor country simple folks; and yet, not more simple than that which is in Ridiculus Mus, the Church Cate∣chism, which teacheth to tell three lies in one breath; Wherein I was made a member, &c. They may say likewise, it wants method: let them know, that men and their wives do not alwayes talk by method, but one among ano∣ther. The Times you know are much enclin'd to Superstition, that's but the Mother of Idolatry, and dwelling in a place where 'tis much used, some of them are inclinable to run to the Worship, to hear the Organs, the Singing-men and Boyes; they account it fine pastime, to see the Bishop in his Lawn-sleeves, the Doctors and Prebends in their Fools Caps, Superstitious Habits and Formali∣ties, like Stage-Players, or Morrice Dauncers, is pretty sport to them, they may in good earnest be drawn to a likeing of it, and so in time joyn with them in their false worship.

The Discourse I have obtained to be printed, hoping is may inform them what Superstition is; and the example of Parents is many times prevalent with Children for imitation, be it good or evil: I can speak it by experience; My father and mother were both of them Church-Papists, and dwelling in a country village, where there was only a Reading-Priest, they commonly went to the Service, or Even-Song (as it is called) and saw nothing in it that might justly offend them; my mother taught me Popish prayers, my father would go to his private Devotion; he dying when I was but nine years of age, left me, among other things in present possession, a stock of Popish Trinkets, Books with fine red letters in them, one Latin book in folio, with thick covers of wood, the leaves parchment, gilded down the margent, and on the top with let∣ters and faces in them; Images, Beads, and a Crucifix, which was the finest of my gods; and although my father never taught me to use any of them, yet to work I went with them; the Images had some small adoration; the Beads, I understood not the use of them; the Crucifix, a fine face neatly gilded, I prayed unto. My school-fellows had a game, called Tray-Trip, at which they played for such ware as they had, I fell at it likewise, and out went the Parchment∣leaves, and quickly brought the thick wooden Covers nearer together; then

to my Beads, I went to work with them, one after another; then to my Cruci∣fix, hoping that might fetch all back again; I tript it so long, that at last I tript all away: I have admired why the Devil would stand by, as commonly he doth at gaming, and see his young disciple thus cheated of his gods, but that he thought to put them into the hands of the bigger boyes, which might imploy them more to his advantage.

I could wish that all Superstition, all Romes Remnants, Reliques, Rites and Rags were at stake, between the Devil and the Pope, at sweep-stake; I could wish the Devil the winner, on condition he would carry them to the bottomless Pit from whence they came, and burn them. But stay a little, give the De∣vil his due, they be his own already, only out of good will and courtesie, he spares them the Church of England, for ornament and decency; neither is the De∣vil so very a fool, nor so bad a husband, to burn that for trash, so long as it will serve to help to make a hedg to keep honest godly Preachers out of the Pulpit, which otherwise might help to dispossess him of his Kingdom.

It's storied of a Noble Person, who invited an Emperour to dinner, where a∣mong the rest of superflums Neednots, there were two rich Cupboards of Glasses, of much value and high esteem with the owner; the Noble Person had a Black∣moor, who by accident brake one of the Glasses, whose punishment for the fact must be no less than death, and such a death, as that he must be thrown into a great pond, to be devoured of the Lampreys which were therein; the Black∣moor gets him into a corner or hole, and there roars and cryes most hideously: The Emperour taking his leave, and as he was going away, he heard a fearful cry, and enquiring what the matter was, it was told him: he sends for the Blackmoor, who relating the matter, with the circumstances, the Emperor returns to the Noble Mans house, and with a stick he had in his hand, brake all the Glasses; the Noble Man demanded of him wherefore he did it? he answered, It were better that all the Glasses were broken, were they a thousand times so many, rather than that the precious life of one man should be cast away.

It were better that all Romes Remnants, Reliques, Rites, &c. now in use in the Church of England, were sent to Hell, from whence they came, rather than that one honest godly Preacher should have his mouth stopt, for that he cannot endure that the Rags of the old Whores tail should be drawn through his teeth.

But I know Wife what they will say, that a man of my condition should not meddle with these things, it's fitter for persons of higher quality than I am, being of mean descent for parentage, and a poor man.

To which I should answer their reverend Lordships, were they present, that I have more cause to stand for my Master Christ, than they for Antichrist, and that with more boldness too; and for my parentage, true it is, I am mean∣ly descended; my Abavus (for I find no Latin word beyond it for a great-Grand-father)

Japhet, the third son of Noah, from whom came the Gentiles, in the interval of Worlds, was a companion, as for clean, so for unclean Beasts, for Asses, Pigs and Wolves: From his loins I received a swinish hellish nature, swarming with divers lusts: And an Asse-like head, stupid and dull, without any true understanding of any divine Myste∣ries, or saving Knowledge; and therefore can justly claim nothing for my Coal of Arms, but a Pigs-tail, and an Asses head for the Crest. If any of you step further into the old world, and speak with the old man, there you will find the fountain as purely corrupt (if I may use that Epithite) as the stream, only you may take thence a coat of Fig-leaves, which will be too short to hide your cloven-footed devilish natures. If you come back into this world, to old Jacob, and think to take up a coat there; which, as I have heard some say, who pretend to have skill in Heraldry, that the rise of it is founded from Ja∣cob, falsly understood to be Coats of Arms, which he declared as Blessings that should come upon his Sons, he would tell you (if alive) that those Prophetical Predictions which he uttered by the instinct of a divine Spirit, were never in∣tended as Presidents to make proud Fools, Coats of Honour; and therefore you may return, and take up my Coat, with the addition of a Wolfs-skin, which is as honourable as an Arch-Bishops Miter; and that as truly honourable as the Popes Triple-Crown.

My Reverend Lords, give me leave to pig it once more with you: I am the poor Pig that feeds in a bare-bitten Common, a dish of Grains, Whey or Wash falls to my share, wherewith I am contented, and my ears secure: You had some better pasture or feeding than mine, but Pig-like, whyning and dis∣contented therewith, you are crept through the hedge into the Corn or Bean∣fields, and there you are up to he ears, and above the cars too; you were ne∣ver turned in at any gate; if the Heyward or Field keeper should come, perad∣venture you may answer the trespass with the forfeiture of your ears: And lest that you should not understand me, we will unpig our selves, and then give me leave to take a turn with you in your Palace Parlour, and there I shall tell you, that the station wherein you stand, is none of Christs institution: you en∣ter but as Jackdaws into Steeples; you are not entred in by Christ, who is the door, and therefore but Thives and Robbers. Diocessan Bishops are but of humane institution. Cambden in his Brittania tells us, that Dyonisius was the first that divided Italy into Diocesses and Parishes: And it's not unknown to you, who first divided England. What have you to do to lord it now over God's Heritage, and to undertake the office of Apostles, nay of Christ him∣self? wherein you are Blasphemers, in that you presume to give the Holy-Ghost to your Creatures, who are therein guilty of Blasphemy; when by your imitation, you are as incomperable to Christ and his Apostles, as the Apes on the Alps to Alexanders Army. These, with the rest of your usarpations, take heed you do not answer with the loss of your souls.

And as you have been the grief of the Godly in Ages past, so you are at this day; and as you live undesired, so you dye unlamented by the Diocess wherein you domineer, and no more lamentation made for you, than for the most fordid Catchpole in the Country: And when any of you die, I have not heard that ever the Diocess went to prayer for a supply in your places.

The premises considered; I shall assume the boldness to tell you, that foras∣much, as I hope, that there was as great a price paid for me, as for the best of you, and that by him who is no respecter of persons, and hath made all Nations of one blood, that qua man, I am as good a man as the best of you. And al∣though my condition in the world be such, that in hard times, with the rest of my poor neighbours, I have entertained Bishop Bean, Doctor Barly, and Par∣son Pease at the upper end of my table, with a cup of Cow Beer, as good as the best Gentlemans Oxe in the Country drinks (and glad I could see them there) yet would not I change my present condition with any of you for the best of your Bishopricks, which was at first cheated from the poor Country, nor for the fu∣ture swop souls with you; in which trade of Soul-swopping some of you have much skill.

Well Wife, this I could tell them, if they were present: but good Wife, keep this Letter close, for if the Bishop should meet with it, as lately he met with a Book and Letter, of which I am the supposed Author, it may be as much as my liberty is worth: And for the Books, for fear lest any of them should be lost, give the Children a charge to keep them safely: If any accidentally meet with any, I desire they would send them home by the hand of those that know where I dwell, or make a hole in the ground and bury them. If any take up a book and read, and be offended at it, then 'tis, Scandalum acceptum, et non datum; an offence taken, not given. I throw a bone to my own dog under board, other quarrelling curs fall together by the ears about it, shake my poor cur, and per∣adventure, bite me by the shins into the bargain; the fault is not in me, I may give a bone to my own dog; nor in my dog it cannot be, nor in the bone; it is in those quarrelling curs, that fall together by the ears about that they have nothing to do withal. So I dedicate a book to my own Wife, for the use and be∣nefit of my own Children, some Mastive fellows understanding that I intend such a thing, begin before hand to quarrel; the fault cannot be in my Wife nor Children, nor in the poor innocent Paper, nor in me it cannot be, it is my duty to inform my Children. There is an Act, that Tutors and School-masters shall teach no Chatechism, but the Church Chatechism, I am not restrained thereby. What's the matter these Mastive fellows quarrel about it, and be ready to come out with a Bowgh wough at me.

I have seen a country man walking by a country house, which hath stood some what solitary, out comes a great 'Dog with a Bowgh, wough, wough, at him, the country man spreads his arms, runs to meet him, as if he would catch him in his arms, the dog seeing it, claps his tail between his legs, away he

uns; the Country man cryes rut, Begone ye cowardly Cur, begone, what afraid of a naked man;

This last year, travelling upon Bristol-Read, I had a wooden Dagger in my hand, almost a Swords fellow, which a Gentleman commended to a young Kins∣man of his by my hand, and having it naked in my hand, meeting with a man on horseback, my self on foot, pretended some fear I put him into, shunn'd the way, and began to quarrel with me; Begone thou cowardly fellow, be∣gone, what afraid of an old man with a wooden Dagger, said I, for shame begone. So I say to these Mastive fellows, Begone ye cowardly fellows, be∣gone, what afraid of a naked-man? What's the matter ye are afraid of? cannot a poor man and his wife talk lovingly by the fire-side, nor in bed neither, but ye are offended at it? 'tis but a wooden Dagger, come forth and fight it out with me and my wife; non virgis, sed verbis; I assure you she is a hansome woman; and some of your Tribe love to deal in such ware, love corporal un∣cleanness as well as spiritual: but she is too honest to deal with you upon such terms. You were Champions for the King, that you were; no marvel though the King lost the day, when his Souldiers are afraid of a wooden Dagger; Hath your Kingdom such slender props, it drends falling by such weapons? What's the matter that Crackfart your Blood-hound attends my motion, and pursues me, and threatens me with Gate-house and Gallows, and Warrants granted forth for my apprehension? Have ye no weapons in Davids Armory to fight withal? sure he is not your King. But when I consider that you are the Locusts, and that the Locusts have no King but the Angel of the Bottom∣less Pit, and that Prisons, Gallows, Banishments, Fire and Fines, are such weapons as come forth of the Antichristian Armory, and that your time is but short, I do not blame you, poor wretches, to be afraid of a wooden Dagger. But good Wife keep this Letter close.

Well, poor Wat, shift for thy self from Form to Misset, and leave the Wood, and take the Corn fields and run counter; take heed they do not course thee to the Gallows hill, and there give thee a turn, and make poor Wat cry, Squeak, squeak.

But my Dear, I am in all straits and necessities sure to finde a Friend of you, and I expect the worst that may befall me; I am but positively high, yet above the reach of Envy; and yet so superlatively low, that I am beneath it: Qui cadet in terram, &c, he that falls to the ground, can fall no lower; as comparatively rich as he that hath the World, and that satisfaction at home, which the world cannot afford abroad; and that content in you, which the world cannot afford me without you: 'Tis not the old Witch the World, when we had it by the nose, nor since it hath caught us by the nose, nor my La∣dy Care her Cousin, could cozen you out of your old inmates, Peace and Pati∣ence: and were it not for you, with a great charge of young Children, I were, in mediis lacera puppe relinquor aquis, left as a free-born English-man, to

enjoy the priviledge of a rative birthright, which is, To heg, starve, er steal and be hang'd. Yet I fear not the Providence of God: I have had a back, but not without a coat; and found a God when quite without a great; who fits my stomack to my meat, and my mind to my coat, so that I can sing with Hortace,

Sit mihi mensa tripes, er concha puri salis, Et toga quae defenderit frigus, quamvis crassa queat.

Give me a tripede for my table, and for my salt a shell, A gown, though it be course, so it will cold expel.

My Dear, painful steps and old age, give me a summons to the grave. In my last will I had nothing to leave my poor Children, but each Child Adam's Comb, I meant their fingers, with a desire of God's blessing, which might prove a good portion to your self; a little of the world, with a Great God; something for bed, nothing for board. I would now make you, if I knew how, as large a Joynture as any Lady hath, if cordial affectionate words would do it, (to support you when that small assistance you have from me, ends) but I hope there is a Joynture hered it any to you, which is your Mothers; which, as she told us, she lay under the sense of Divine Wrath for many years, without a God or Christ, ready to fall (as she apprehended) every moment into eternal misery; but when Houses, Lands, Husband, deceived of her Joynture, and left with small Children, and all means gone, the Lord came in to her soul, and became all things to her, and for her Joynture sealed her a full Assu∣rance of Heaven. That Joynture I hope will prove yours, which is as much happiness as I can wish you.

I am the more large in my Epistle, not having seen your face nor my Chil∣drens a long time, whilst head and heart hath stood almost an hundred miles asunder; not knowing when I may, I take leave; and the good-will of Him that dwelt in the Bush he with you and yours: which is the desire of your truly affectionate Husband,

SILAWL.