Motives to holy living, or, Heads for meditation divided into consideratins, counsels, duties : together with some forms of devotion in litanies, collects, doxologies, &c.

§. 23.

9. Of Com∣pany and se∣cular Con∣verse.

1. Not seeking acquaintance, no way necessary to us; nou∣rishing idleness, and the neglect of our Vocation; (a temp∣tation to make visits, and go much abroad; an occasion of entertainments, vain expence, and intemperance; and, as many times an effect, so a cause, of ambition, and desire to be known;) whereby we subject our selves to new obliga∣tions, and laws, I mean, of secular Civilities, pretended to belong to the duty of friendship: not well consistent with those laws of God, to which we owe an indispensable ob∣servance. Ungrateful Friendship that to please a less Friend offends a greater!

2. Abstaining from much conversation, and frequenting of company. Cavete ab hominibus for you will get no good by them. Matt. 10.17. And, Totus mundus positus in ma∣ligno 1. Jo. 5.19. Of the Contagion of which the Philo∣sopher Seneca observed; Nunquam mores, quos extuli, re∣fero; aliquid ex eo quod composui, turbatur. Ambitiosior redeo, luxuriosior &c. For it being certain, that the most of men (and consequently of company) are unwise, are

ungodly, Hence follow; A Partaking (as being their com∣panions) more or less of their sins; (which may be shared with them many ways, as by our counselling and advising, so by applauding and approving, or by consenting to, or by concealing, or by mear silence, and not reproving; them. 2. Jo. 11. Lev. 19.17. Matt. 18.15. Luk. 17.3. Eph. 5.11. Gal. 6.1. and by this partakers also we are not un∣often of their punishments:) Temptation, and Contagion, from their Example: A faulty compliance of the ear in hearing many things hurtful to good manners, injurious to the absent, &c. A faulty compliance of the tongue, in speaking what may please to retain their good affection; or, in not admonishing them of their faults: Loss of time for prayer, and converse with God; conversation rendring us, when not vicious, idle (Amici fures temporis): But chiefly, (if we are not throughly reformed) our danger, in society, of giving (which much aggravates our sin) as well, as of receiving, ill Example.

3. Especially taking heed of too much conversation with kindred, or with friends; from whom whilst we often re∣ceive much seducement, and mischief, yet we either think it a duty, or our near relation an excuse, to comply with, in∣dulge, and observe, them. Which indeed is, in complais∣ance and civility to our friend, to shew unkindness and ingratitude to God; from whom also we receive even all that good which we enjoy in our Friends.

4. Not thinking to frequent company especially where numerous (except you are much confirmed in virtuous habits) out of a purpose to convert them, or better them, (when as indeed we are oftner some way or other per∣verted by them): Or, out of a hope to be bettered by them; which are two great temptations of Satan.

5. Not indulging the pretence of a natural inclination to melancholy, or to some other infirmities of the Body: which is to be remedied by mirth, and sociableness; the ordinary

Plea with which Satan, and the Flesh, are wont to deter us, from using any advantages to Piety; when as, he who takes care of the food and raiment, much more doth of the Body, and Health, in the things we undertake for his better service: or if not, thrice happy they that lose them in it.

6. When permitted a free election of your company, consorting and conferring, rather with one or two than a greater number; whereby more benefit may be made of Society. None being either so willing to learn of, or free to give advice to, a many, as one; discourse also is thus kept from much extravagancies, or confusion (usual among many Interlocutors); and more applicative to your par∣ticular, and not so general. Many times also vain glory, in much company, misguides men's intentions, to speak what may please, rather than profit; and Piety and Religion are very shame-face't to appear in a multitude, either for fear, of receiving from the ill-disposed some check; or, of desiring to seem popular. This sorting your self, and conferring rather with a few is recommended, supposing you, and your company, well inclined; but if otherwise, the more privacy your conversation hath, the more danger, and hurt there is in it: The reverence we have of a multi∣tude being some curb to the liberty of our tongue, to wicked discourses, to detraction, divulging things we ought not &c. Again, Consorting rather with those of your own Pro∣fession; of whom you may learn, or to whom teach, some∣thing proper to you and them: or, with spiritual persons; and those rather single; for the greater benefit receivable thereby: and with your equals rather than superiors, if these not vertuously inclined; because with these later your conscientious liberty may be restrained (1. Cor. 7.21.) or sometimes as it were forced, to a faulty compli∣ance; in respect of which the Proverb saith, Qui a com∣pagnon, a Maistre.

7. Abstaining (out of obligation, and conscience of offending God in it) from having any familiar Society with such, as are open profane livers. Remembring well 1. Cor. 5.11. I have written to you not to keep company if any man that is called a brother be a Fornicator, or covetous, or an Idolater, or a Railer, or a Drunkard, or an Extortioner, with such a one no not to eat [spoken not of sacred Feasts only, but of usual diet]; to which some other places add, chiefly any Heretical, or Schismattcal persons Rom. 16, 17. 2. Thes. 3.14. Matt. 18.17. —2 Jo. 10, 11. Where St. John commands that they be not admitted into our house, or so much as saluted. And of this sequestring our selves from them three reasons are given: 1 One in order to bet∣tering of them; That they may be ashamed. 2. Thes. 3.14. The other two in order to preserving our selves: 2 That we may not be seduced, and deceived by them 1. Cor. 5, 6. Gal. 5.9. Rom. 16.18. And 3 That we may not be (as their associates) partakers of their sins: to which may be added a 4th; Our giving some scandal thereby to others. Concerning which see 1. Thess. 5.22. Phil. 4.8. Upon this account the behaviour of St. Austine's Mother toward this her Son is very memorable. Austin's Confess. 3. l. 11. c. That whilst he continued a Manichaean, she would not eat with him. See also 2. Cor. 6.14. &c. Nolite jugum ducere; Be not yoked together with unbelievers &c. Come out from among them and be ye separate, and I will receive you, and be a Father to you &c. [Which Text holds not only for Ʋn∣believers, and Idolaters, but all other open, profane, and wicked Livers; for they are also unrighteousness, darkness, Sons of Belial &c]. Only, in any case of necessity, as in publick Prayers, in receiving the Communion &c, (where I have an obligation to do my duty, and no power to ex∣clude them); in trading (where I cannot with others; and in some cases of their aedification, especially to some persons, this prohibition obligeth not: See 1. Cor. 5. vers. 10. fin.

Matt. 9.12. —2. Thess. 3.14. But else we are generally forbid also ordinary, and civil Conversation with notorious Sinners, continuing impenitent (i. e. continuing still in the custome, and practice of such a vice;) whenever such our withdrawing from hinders not our necessary subsistence in the world. 1. Cor. 5.10. Neither doth admonishing them 2. Thess. 3.15. imply at all keeping them company; Be∣cause this we ordinarily may do to those, with whom we do not consort. Or if this be permitted to some persons, (as Physicians,) to converse with these sick persons for their cure; Yet, most of these deseases by reason of our carnality being so contagious, such a person must be one already well confirmed in the practice of contrary vertues; least, the Antidotes he hath being too weak, instead of curing, he catch the Disease. And what is said of companying may be much more of marrying, leaging with, or contracting other obligatory relations to such persons, and thereby inheriting any divine Maledictions belonging to them.

8. Taking care not to read any ill, or vain, Books: of which the very same things may be said, as of keeping ill Company, Books being our ordinary company when a∣lone; and the mischief of them, when bad, very great.

9. As much as you can procuring a well imployed Soli∣tude:* 1.1 which is most necessary for the great duty of this life, viz. Prayer and Conversation with God; and cutts off at once those most frequent sins of the tongue and the ear, and all the temptations of them. Solitude observes silence: and, when alone, we neither blaspheme, nor swear, nor boast; are free from all filthy, and corrupt Communication, from railing, slandering, detracting, flattery; from scurrility and jesting, vain, and idle talk (of which also we are to give account. Matt. 12.36;) are free also from hearing such things with applause, assent, or silence.

Digr. 1. Of the many damages ordinarily received from company.

2. Of the great Sin of men-pleasing, and compliance, fre∣quently miscalled Civility.

3. Of the Sins of the Ear.

4. Of the power of Example.

5. Of the standing severity of God's laws no way miti∣gated by contrary custome; nor sin in those places a less fault where more practised.

6. Of the duty of Christians abstaining from, and having no common Society with many sorts of people 1: Cor. 5.11. (which is ordinarily transgressed) and especially of not marrying, or leaging &c, with them.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Recommen¦dation of Solitude.