The comical romance, or, A facetious history of a company of stage-players interwoven with divers choice novels, rare adventures, and amorous intrigues / written originally in French by the renowned Scarron ; and now turned into English by J.B.

CHAP. XI.

Containing, what you shall find, if you take the pains to read it.

RAgotin led Rancour to a Tavern, where he called for all the best that the House could afford. It may be supposed that he would not bring him to his own home, because he had but short commons; but I shall not judge positively, for fear I judge wrongfully; nor would I make further inquiry, because the knowledge were not worth the pains, and I have somethings else to write, which are of greater consequence and weight. Rancour who was a Man of a deep in∣spection, and quickly sounded a strangers hu∣mour, no••ooner beheld a brace of Partridges, and a Fat Capon provided for two single per∣sons, but he imagined that Ragotin had some de∣sign in it, and did not treat him thus for his own sake alone, or because he maintained that his Novel was a fit Plot for a Play: He therefore expected to hear some new extravegance from Ragotin, who would not at first dash lay open his Soul, but continued the mention of his History. He repeated a great many Satyrical Poems, which he had for the most part written against his Neighbours, and some amongst others a∣gainst nameless Cuckolds, and wanton Wives then he sung drinking Catches, and produced 〈◊〉〈◊〉

number of Anagrams, the ordinary plague wherewith puny Poets are infected, at their first writing, which they afterwards plague others with in reciting. Rancour to compleat his ruine, I mean the utter ruine of the little wit he had left, with eyes lift up to Heaven, and a loosing Gamesters oaths, applauded all his works, as he called them, and protested he had never seen any thing so sprightly and excellent; nay, and ••he better to dissemble, he seemed to tear his very hair from his head, though it were only the ••elicks of an out-worn Perriwig translated to a Border, so infinitely was he transported: And ••e would often say, You make your self unhap∣py Sir, and us no less, by not dedicating your ••elf wholly to the Stage, for within a year or ••wo, Corneille would be no more esteemed or ••••lked of, then the forgotten Hardy is ••ow. I ••ave not the Art to flatter, continued he, but to encourage you, and allow your just encomiums; must confess, I judged you an Excellent Poet, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 soon as ever I heard your first discourse, which can bring my fellow Actors to justifie if occa∣••on were. Nor am I apt to be deceived, I have 〈◊〉〈◊〉 much skill in Phisiognomy that I can discover Poet at first sight, and had no sooner looked ••••on your Ingenious Countenance, but I was 〈◊〉〈◊〉 confident of your Ability, as if I had been at ••e charge of your Education my self. Ragotin 〈◊〉〈◊〉 allowed all this like Butter-milk, together ••••th so many glasses of Wine, as intoxicated ••••m yet more then Rancours praises, who for his ••••n part eat and drank most heartily, saying

from time to time, For Gods sake Monsieur Ragotin, employ your Talent once more, you are much to blame you do not both in rich your self and us. I blur a little paper my self sometimes, as well as other common Rhymers, but could I write but half so well as you, I should not be compell'd to draw the Devil by the tayle to gain a lively-hood, as I now do, but might live in as good a condition as Mondory with all his Reve∣nues: Write therefore, dear Monsieur Ragotin, pray write again for us, and if we do not throw dust in all the others Players eyes, both at L' Hostel de Bourgongue, and du Marests, then let me never ascend the Stage without breaking a leg or arm; this is all I have to say, and so let me drink to you; then filling up a brimmer, he be∣gan a deep health to Monsieur Ragotin, which he drank to Ragotin himself who pledged it, and revived it again to the Actresses, which he took off bare-headed, and with so much greediness, and transporting delight, that setting down hi•• empty glass upon the Table, he broke off the paw before he was aware, which made him en∣deavour once or twice to make it stand again 〈◊〉〈◊〉 but finding it wanted the foot, he threw it ove•• his head as in a frolick to the Ladies health, an•• pulled Rancour by the sleeve to take notice of it•• that he might not loose the reputation of break¦ing a glass for their sakes: It troubled him a lit¦tle that Rancour vouchsafed not the least smil•• at this Gallantry; but as I told you before, h•• was rather an envious then a risible anima•• Rancour then asked him, what he though or 〈◊〉〈◊〉

their she Players? the Little Fellow answered not, but blushed as red as Scarlet; Rancour re∣peated the same question, at last, stuttering, blushing afresh, and turning his head aside, he told Rancour, That he was infinitely taken with one of them; And which of the two is it, said Ran∣cour? The discovery he had already made, and this sudden question puzled him so strangely, that he replyed, I cannot tell; nor I neither said Rancour; This perplexed him more, and made him cry, it is, it is; he repeated the same words four or five several times over, which made the Comedian so impatient, that he added, in troth I believe you, she's a very handsome Girle; this confounded him so absolutely, that he could never express the particular party; and per∣haps there was reason for this hesitation; for I believe it was rather lust then love, that had ceazed his heart, but which of the two he most inclined to seduce, he knew not himself. In fine, Rancour naming Madam Star, he confessed she was the object of his desires; but for my part, I believe, if he had named Angelica first, or her Mother Cave, he would have forgiven the rap the one gave him on his knuckles, and the o∣thers age, and have vowed both soul and body to the thing he had named; so much was the Goat given up to his pleasure in Women. The Player made him toss up another great glass full of Wine, to wash down his confusion, and drank the like himself, after which he told him, whispering in his ear, and looking round the room, as if it had been some weighty secret,

though he knew well enough no body was near, Well Sir, Your wound will not prove mortal, since you have met with a Love-Chyrurgion, that can bring you a Balsom may cure it, pro∣vided you give faith, and keep it secret; and yet it is no easie Enterprize, for Madam Star is a ve∣ry Tygress, and her Brother Destiny a meer Lion; but however, I believe you may prove more then her match if you follow my counsel, for I know what I know: in the mean while, let us take off our drink, to morrow is a new day. The drinking of a fresh health or two in∣terrupted a while their Discourse, but then Ra∣gotin again renewed it, by giving a Catalogue of his Perfections and Wealth to Rancour; and tel∣ling him, That he had a Nepueu, a servant to one of the Treasurers, that this Nepueu had made acquain∣tance with the Partisan la Ralliere, during his being at Manse, whither he was sent to settle a Tax or Im∣post, and made him believe he would get him as consi∣derable a Salary as any of the Kings Players by this Nepueu's interest: Nay he told him moreover, That if any of his Relations had Sons that were Schol∣lers, he could procure them some good Benefice or other, by the intercession of a Neece of his, who was married to a good Womans Brother that was maintained by an•• Abbots Steward of that Country, who had many good places in his disposal. Whilst Ragotin was thus dis∣playing his prowess, Rancour who grew thirsty with over-much drinking, did nothing but fill the two glasses, which were as soon tipt over their tongues again, Ragotin not daring to re∣fuse

any thing at his hands, who was likely to do him so much good; At last, with swallow∣ing so much, they began to grow full; Rancour was only a little more serious then before, but Ragotin grew so doz'd, and heavy, that he leaned his head on the Table, and fell fast asleep. Ran∣cour called for one to come and make ready a bed, it being too late to return to his own Inn. The Maid told him, She thought it would not be a miss to make ready two, seeing what a pickle Mon∣sieur Ragotin was in. In the mean time, he slept on, and never did any man snore louder then himself. Two Beds were dressed in the same Chamber, where there was a third unused, but all the noise they made in putting on the sheets, and ordering the Chamber could not disturb our Little Man. He called the Wench a thou∣sand Whores and Jades, and threatned to slay her, when she called him to go to his rest. In the conclusion, Rancour turned his Chair about to∣wards the fire, and then he open'd his eyes, and suffered the Maid to uncloath him; after which they threw him by main strength between his sheets, and Rancour being gotten into Bed like∣wise, puts out the candle, after he had bolted the Chamber door. An hour afterwards Ra∣gotin rises up, and goes out of his Bed, for what I cannot readily tell. He wanders about the room, till he had over-turned most of the chairs and stooles, and himself likewise, groaping in e∣very corner for his Bed, which he could not find again for his heart; In the end he lights upon Rancours, and wakes him with haling off the

cloathes; Rancour asked, What he would have? I am hunting to find my bed, said Ragotin; You must go towards my left hand, sayes Rancour; the Little Drunkard creeps to the right, and went and nestled himself betwixt the Rugg and the Matt of the third Bed, which had neither Bolster, nor Sheets; yet there he takes out his full nap with a great deal of ease and quiet. Rancour in the morning put on his Apparel, be∣fore Ragotins eyes were open; He rouz'd the Drunken Dandy-Prat, and asked him, whether it were to do pennance, that he forsook a good Feather-bed, to lye in lousie straw: Ragotin maintained he did not remove at all, and there∣fore for certain, that Chamber was haunted with Spirits. He quarrell'd with the Land-Lord, who stood up for his own concern, and threatned to Sue him, for slandering his house: But I have been too tedious in relating Ragotins debauch; let us return therefore to the place where I left our Players.