Sir Antony Love, or, The rambling lady a comedy as it is acted at the Theatre-Royal by Their Majesties servants / written by Tho. Southerne.

SCENE changes to Sir Antony's Lodging.

Enter Sir Antony, and Ilford.

Sir Ant.

Why to tell you the truth, Ilford, there is a Woman in the case; I expect her every minute.

Ilf.

I fancy'd some such thing.

Sir Ant.

She is a thing to be fancy'd; and you wou'd think so, if you saw her.

Ilf.

Do I know her, Sir Antony?

Sir Ant.

You have seen her.

Ilf.

What nothing more of her?

Sir Ant.

None of your peevish Questions.

Ilf.

'Tis not Volante?

Sir Ant.

If it were, you don't come to quarrel for her?

Ilf.

Not I faith, Knight: I come in absolute good Nature to visit you.

Sir Ant.

Why indeed, I could not expect the favour at your hands, as Matters stand between us.

Ilf.

Nothing shall stand between us: Nothing did, but a Woman; and I come to strike up a Friendship, offensive and defensive with you, by making a ve∣ry fair offer to dispose of her.

Sir Ant.

If you mean Volante, she will dispose of her self.

Ilf.

I know she wou'd dispose of herself to you: But you won't marry her, Sir Antony: Now I am one of those foolish Fellows, who don't apprehend a Danger, till they are in't. I never think of being a Cuckold: I love Volante, and wou'd marry her— Come, come, there are Women enow for the ill-natur'd purpose of your Love; quit her to me, do a generous thing to a Wo∣man that loves you; and to a Man, who would engage you for a Friend.

Sir Ant.

Why Faith, Ilford, I wou'd do a great deal for you; but I must do something for her.

Ilf.

Do me a Favour, and don't undo her Fame.

Sir Ant.

But there's the pleasure on't—

Ilf.

To ruine the Woman that loves you—

Sir Ant.

Not so much out of ill Nature to her, as good Nature my self: Reputation must be had: And we young Men generally raise ours out of the Ruine of the Womens.

Ilf.

But Volante is a Woman of Quality,

And has Relations to do her Right, if you don't do her Reason.

Sir Ant.

Wou'd she had a Brother, to make a business on't: He cou'd not do her so much right, in fighting for her, as he wou'd do me reason, in ma∣king it the talk of the Town.

Ilf.

That wou'd set it about indeed.

Sir Ant.

If I should say, I had lay'n with her; or endeavour to set it a∣foot, 'twould fall of it self.

Ilf.

As an impotent Piece of Vanity, or Folly in a young Man.

Sir Ant.

But no body dares make a doubt of a Report, when a Relation has taken an honourable Care, by a Duel, to fix the Scandal in the Family.

Ilf.

Why, truly I think the Men of Honour are out in that business: Scandal does not fall into the hands of a Surgeon, like the Wounds of the Body for a Cure: Opening and Probing, makes the Malady but more invete∣rate, and the least Air taints it to a Mortification.

Sir Ant.

It heals best of it self, without a Plaister.

Ilf.

And Time must finish the work. I have observ'd some Women live themselves into a second Reputation—

Sir Ant.

And other Women, who by a natural Negligence, never setting up for any, from the freedom of their behaviour, have pass'd uncensur'd in those publick Places, and Pleasures, which wou'd have undone Ladies of a sprucer Conversation, but to have appear'd in.

Ilf.

So that 'tis not what they do, but not doing all of a Piece, that ruins their Character, and unders the Women—

Sir Ant.

And condemns the Men too: For 'tis not any Man's Opinion, but his shifting it to the Occasion, that makes him a Rascal; as let his Opinion be what it will, if he continues the same, and acts upon a Principle, he may be an honest Man: But 'tis no Character I wou'd advise a Friend to.

Ilf.

But this is from my business, Sir Antony! And, all things consider'd, the difficulties of getting, and the danger of enjoying Volante; in my Opinion, her Woman wou'd be the better Intrigue.

Sir Ant.

Why indeed the Woman wou'd often be the better Intrigue, were she as difficult to be compass'd as her Lady.

Ilf.

It seems the danger doubles your delight.

Sir Ant.

And we naturally covet, what we are forbid; for very often 'tis the bare pleasure of breaking the Commandment, that makes another Man's Wife more desirable than his own.

Ilf.

As at present, the bare pleasure of opposing my Interest, has carry'd on yours with Volante, farther then otherwise you design'd.

Sir Ant.

Why faith, there's something in that too, Ilsord: Not but I have a very good Opinion of the Lady.

Ilf.

Well Sir Antony, I wish you wou'd think it worth your while, to make a Friend of me—

Sir Ant.

I wou'd make a Friend of you.

Ilf.

Resign your Title then: 'tis but giving me now, what in a little time you will decline of your self: Make Volante mine, and make me yours.

Sir Ant.

I wou'd with all my heart; if I cou'd do it with Honour.

Ilf.

I warrant you with Honour.

Sir Ant.

But how can I disengage my self? Matters are gone a great way between us— she's coming up to me. [Waitwell, whispers and goes out.] Step into that Closet, you will over-hear what we say; I won't pro∣mise I can do you any service with her. But I'll do you all the good I can; that you may be sure of, and depend upon.

Ilf.

At least, seeing her here, will do some good upon me

Goes. in.

Enter Volante.

Sir Ant.

O Madam, you as are good as your word.

Vol.

I can keep it, you see, at your cost, when I like the occasion.

Sir Ant.

We men are not more punctual to an appointment, upon the hopes of a new Mistress, then you Women are, upon the first promise of a Husband.

Vol.

And it stands us upon to be diligent in both Sexes. For neither the Men, nor the Women, continue long in the mind of allowing those Favours.

Sir Ant.

Why faith, Child, the best Excuse for foolish things— (As Marriage you allow to be one—

Vol.

A convenient foolish thing.)

Sir Ant.

Is the doing 'em without thinking. But, what Madam, can't a Man sport off a little innocent Gallantry with a Lady, without being serious a 'both sides; You are in earnest, I see.

Vol.

Why there's the Jest.

Sir Ant.

And keep me to my word.

Vol.

On my word will I

Sir Ant.

You take all Advantages.

Vol.

I may be allowed to take what Advantage I can ill the beginning; I shall be sure to be the looser in the end.

Sir Ant.

In all Plays, one side must be the looser; but Marriage is the only Game, where no body can be the winner.

Vol.

That's making an ill Bett indeed, where we may loose, and can't win; Yet I am resolv'd to venture.

Sir Ant.

But Child, hast thou no more mercy upon my Youth, my Dress, my Wit, and good Humour, then to make a Husband of me!

Vol.

Since you could not have me on your own Terms, I know you'll take me on mine.

Sir Ant.

Well, there's nothing but cheating in Love: Very often indeed we are before-hand with the Women; but when we marry 'em, I'm sure they cheat us.

Vol.

And when do I cheat you, Sir Antony?

Sir Ant.

Have a care of cheating your self, Madam?

Vol.

Nay, one time or other, all Women are to be fool'd; and I had ra∣ther you should have the profit of me, then any Body else.

Sir Ant.

And pleasure too, I beseech you. I am now going with Valentine to the Nunnery, to see his new Mistress Charlot—

Vol.

And by her Interest, to see his old Mistress, Floriante; I know the story, and what the Abbe designs in it.

Sir Ant.

I shall be back in an hour; by that time the Evening will con∣ceal you the better: If then you are brave enough—

Vol.

To meet you, with a Priest for a Second.

Sir Ant.

I'll have a Father ready to bless our endeavours.

Vol.

Let him be by to see you play me fair, And do your worst or best, and never spare.

Exit Volante.

Sir Ant.

I warrant you, the first Night for an Heir.

Ilford coming forward to Sir Antony.

Ilf.

O Sir, your Servant; I see I am beholden to you.

Sir Ant.

The most in the World I gad, when you know all.

Ilf.

Know all! I know enough to convince me, that you are not capable of a serious design of serving your Honour, or your Friend—

Sir Ant.

What's the matter now, man?

Ilf.

And I was a Coxcomb for thinking you cou'd.

Sir Ant.

Nay, you may be a Coxcomb however.

Ilf.

What's that you say?

Sir Ant.

No quarrelling I beseech you, till you have Cause.

Ilf.

Till I have Cause; I think you have given me sufficient Cause—

Sir Ant.

To thank me, I have; if you know how to be greateful.

Ilf.

O, I must needs be greateful; and always confess the Obligation you have laid upon me, in promoting my Interest so visibly with Volante—

Sir Ant.

So opposite to my own with her.

Ilf.

With so much Diligence and good Nature—

Sir Ant.

Well remembred, I gad.

Ilf.

That in my hearing, and still to advance my Interest—you have made an Appointment to marry her—

Sir Ant.

And put you to bed to her.

Ilf.

How, how, Sir Antony?

Sir Ant.

I knew there was no other way to do you a Service with her; therefore I resolv'd to marry her for you, and put you to bed to her, for me.

Ilf.

Incomparable design!

Sir Ant.

A poor project of mine, Sir; if you had engag'd in't, it might ha' turn'd to account; but as 'tis, I go as I did.

Ilf.

But take me along with you.

Sir Ant.

I never impose a Curtesie upon any Man; nor quarrel, because he is not sensible I am his Friend; when you come to your self, you may re∣pent—

Ilf.

I do repent, and confess my self—

Sir Ant.

Well; what do you confess your self to be?

Ilf.

A Fool, an Ass, to pretend to vie with you in any thing.

Sir Ant.

And will you always keep in this humble Opinion of your self, and allow me the Ascendant?

Ilf.

I shall be an Ass if I don't.

Sir Ant.

But you must confess your self a Coxcomb—

Ilf.

Aye, any thing.

Sir Ant.

For pretending to censure, before you understood my design.

Ilf.

You told me I was a Coxcumb before; and now I begin to believe it my self.

Sir Ant.

Well, upon your Penitence, I pardon, and take you into favour agen.

Ilf.

And into the design.

Sir Ant.

That you must be: And to convince you that what I do is per∣fectly in your Interest, you shall marry us your self—

Ilf.

With all my heart.

Sir Ant.

I have a Habit for you. Thus in the World Men keep a pother, And marry Wives for one another: And most, like me, in Frolicks wooe, And, to their shame, as little do; But marry'd Women know the Sense, And Rights of due Benevolence: I but provide for mine, what she wou'd soon; For first, or last, that Duty must be done.

Exeunt.