Chap. 6. How the Palatine decided this Great and Difficult Cause in the Twinckling of an Eye.

THe Defendant having thus made an end, the Palatine demanded of the Sieur John Doe, whether he had any thing to reply? Who answering, No, the Palatine turning to the Counsellors and Doctors there assembled, you have heard, said he, the Case argu'd, and now what think you of it? Yes quo they, an't please you Sir, we have heard it, but the Devil a bit do we understand it. Well says the Palatine, then I'le make an end of it, for I can find no such difficulty in it, as you pre∣tend. Hearken therefore to the Sentence of the Court which is this. The Court having considered the horrible shuddering of the Flick∣mouse in her brave retreat from the Summer Solstice, to court the Kickshaws of the Age that were got Sick of the Pip with their over∣nights debauchery, so that the good Woman was frighted from her Marketing by that same Hypocrite of an Archer, that stands al∣ways with his Bow bent in the sky; and forc'd to walk with her Feet swell'd, one Stoc∣kin off and t'other on, therefore the Plaintiff has just cause of Complaint; and therefore in Conscience the good Woman ought to be re∣imburs'd Page  18 in Gew-gaws to the full number of the Hairs upon the Heifers back; and so much for the Embroiderer, that is to say, so much for that. The Plaintiff is also discharg'd from all Royal Prosecutions upon any Infor∣mation for not having made all clean after ex∣oneration, as was fairly decided by two per∣fumers upon a fair Tryal of his Bum▪ Gun∣shot levell'd exactly at a C•udle of Wallnuts. Only because the Plaintiff has charg'd the De∣fendant to be a Cobler, a Runaway, and a Clipper of Money, which after long Jangling and Wrangling the Plaintiff has not prov'd, the Court condemns him in three large pair of Drawers full of Cheese-curds well press'd to∣gether, Gingembob'd and Cod-piec'd after the fashion of the Countrey, payable to the De∣fendant every Mid-August in May. On the other side, the Defendant shall be oblig'd to furnish the Plaintiff with Hay and Tow to open the passage of his Gut•ural Trap doors, when ever they shall be pester'd with any Fat Morsels that are ready to choak him: and so to be good Friends as before.

This decree was look't upon as a thing be∣yond imagination. For it never happen'd since the Flood, nor ever will happen in thirteen Jubiles, that two Persons so long at Daggers drawing as John Doe and Rich. Roe had been, Page  19 were ever so satisfi'd with a decree as those two Adversaries were. As for the Counsellors and Doctors that were present, they were all in an Extasie for three hours together; and some of 'em were in such an amaze that they were forc'd to throw Rose-water and Vinegar in their faces to fetch 'em again. And as for the two Princes they sate staring upon one another, like two strange Cats in Admiration that a Person so young as the Palatine should be able to understand the Laws and Customs of Asto∣pia better than all the most learned Counsel∣lors and Judges of the Land. With that the two Princes rose up and embraced the Palatine with all the Tenderness imaginable; wishing him withal, according to his deserts, the Early command of a Kingdom, which certainly they said, must be the most happy in the World under the Government of such a Vali∣ant and Prudent Prince. On the other side the Palatine begg'd their Pardon for having made them tarry so long, but hop'd they would make themselves amends by that free∣dom which they had made their undoubted Right and due through their unparallell'd Bounty and Magnificence.