Chap. 4. Of the Remarkable Decision which the Palatine made of one of the difficultest Causes in the World.

NOw the Case was this. The Sieur John Doe Plaintiff, pleaded, that a certain old Woman belonging to his House, carri'd a Basket of Eggs to Market to sell. Now this Woman stept aside between the two Tropics six Inches toward the Zenith, because the Ri∣phaean Mountains that year were very barren of Kickshaws, by reason of a terrible Sediti∣on between the Gibble Gabblers, and your Men of Brevity, who both argu'd for the Rebellion of the Switzers, who were assem∣bl'd together like flies in a Sugar Chest to go about with their Wassail-bowls just at the time of the Year, when People first begin to give their Cows Porridge, and their Dogs Oats. But the Physicians affirm'd, they found no reason by her Urine, but that the Wo∣man might eat Iron Mattocks with Mustard, unless it were that the great Men at Court had forbidden the French Disease to trouble the Bumpkins, as being more desirous to entertain it themselves. Nevertheless who would not Page  14 let go the Bird before he be troubled, and have his Ea•s cufft to make him discover it. For there is no reason, why Lent falls so high, but that Easter never comes, but it costs a man money.

Here the Sieur Richard Roe interrupting the Sieur John Doe, by the Belly of St. Anthony, quo the Palatine, what have you to do to speak before your time? I sweat here like a Wine-Porter to understand your Business, and you must be perplexing the Cause—Hold your Tongue in the Devils name, and speak when it comes to your turn.

Then the Sieur John Doe proceeding, Sir, said he, when I saw that the Pragmatick San∣ction made nothing of this matter, but that the Pope gave Liberty for every one to fart at their own Pleasure, let them be as poor as they would, provided the Blankets were whole, and considering that there was a Rain-bow ap∣pear'd at Rome lately, to give notice to the People to hatch Larks; a kinsman of the Wo∣mans perswaded her, since the Pope and Hea∣ven were agreed, to discharge her Ischiatics, and not to put her self to the pain of hiding the perturbation of her body. Now I being willing to obey the King, arm'd my self from top to toe with good B•lly timber, to see how my Vintagers had pink'd their Steeple Crown'd Page  15 Caps, that they might the better be able to play at In, and In; thô it were a dangerous time, considering that several of the Guards were refus'd Mustring, for wearing black patch∣es upon their Noses. Therefore it was like to be a good year for Tawny-beetles to the great ease of the Carriers of Pardons, when they have eaten till their Bellies Crack with their Breeches unbutton'd. These things consider'd without any more Niceties or slicing of Cu∣cumbers, I desire your Lordships opinion up∣on the Case and Allowance of my Expences, with Interest and Dammages.