Chap. 46. Of the Noise which the Palatines great At∣chievements made in the far distant Regions of the world, and the various Effects of it.

BY the Light and Blaze of this great Bonfire, Fame flew through all the world from Re∣gion to Region as swift as Wildfire, which is fifteen hundred Leagues in half an hour. She made a short stop in Ethiopia, at Prester John's Country, where she told a long story to Queen Candaces, and thence fetching a Tour about the Southern Hemisphere, came to the Great Moguls Court, and then pass'd on to the Emperour of China, so to the Tartars, and the lately discover'd Common-wealth of Heliopolis, in her return homeward taking Persia, Mingrelia and Russia in her way. It is not to be credited how those far distant Monarchs were astonish'd, and what a Pannick dread seiz'd upon their spirits to hear of the wonderful Atchievements perform'd by the Pala∣tine, while every one thought him in the bowels of his Dominions already. The great Mogull, admo∣nish'd and terrifi'd by the Fate of his Predecessor Porus, dreaded the coming of another Alexander, and looking upon his vast Empire as already lost, tho' of a black, sun-burnt complexion, turn'd as white and as pale as a piece of new fine Holland. The Emperour of China had newly drank his mor∣nings-draught, and breakfasted just as the news came, at what time the apprehension of the danger he was in, cast him into such a cold sweat, that he brought up all again. And as for the great Can of Tartary, he was in such a lamentable pickle, that you might have smelt him above ten German Leagues.

But as for the Female Sex, the Physick of the Pa∣latine's glorious Actions wrought quite after ano∣ther Page  136 manner: For as there is nothing works so much upon the Minds and Fancies of the High-born Women as Valour, and the Honour of having some renowned Champion fetter'd in the Chains of their Golden Curls, Candace found her self so smitten with the charms of the Palatines Renown, that burning Love had almost consum'd her bowels, so that she lost the use of her Teeth for six months together. At length she prevail'd with her next neighbour the Great Emperour of Morocco, to send a splendid Em∣bassie to the Palatine, with offer of all her large Do∣minions, if he would but vouchsafe to accept of her and them together, promising withal to admit the Loyolists into her Country, tho' mortally hated by her Subjects, if he would but condescend to her Pro∣posals. The Palatine receiv'd the Embassadors with all the demonstrations of Civility imaginable, and with all the expressions of a Courtier acknowledged the Honour which the Queen of Ethiopia had done him; but told them withal, that his business lay at this end of the world, to root out a Northern He∣resie▪ which he fear'd would cost him the whole time of his life to accomplish. With which Answer the Embassadors returning, the disconsolate Condace threw her self into a huge Funeral Pile, and ended her days like Queen Dido.

The next that was ready to hang her self in her own Garters, was the Sister of the Mighty Aurang Zeeb; and she lay night and day at her Brother, that she might be chain'd to a Rock like Andromeda, and expos'd to the fury of some Sea-Monster: For surely then, thought she, this valorous Champion will flie to my Rescue, and then I shall have an op∣portunity to tell him my mind. With that she sent him a Diamond as big as an Elephants Head, and a Letter in the Indian Character. But by what mis∣chance Page  137 is not known, the Diamond miscarried, and as for the Letter, 'twas Heathen Greek to the Pala∣tine, for he could not read a word in it; so that if the Princess's Brother were so fond as to humour her, 'tis impossible but that she must have paid for her longing, long before this.

The Princess of China was more politick; for she despairing that the Palatine, being so great a Prince as he was, would travel to China for a Wife, thought it her duty rather to attend upon him her self: So she got leave of the Sun to ride in his Coach-box, and came to Albion incognito: But when Phaeton had set her down in the West of Albion, near the Mount of the Arch-Angel, she heard the doleful news that the Palatine was marry'd above two months before; and how she got back again, there's no body ever could tell.