The true interest of families, or, Directions how parents may be happy in their children, and children in their parents to which is annexed a discourse about the right way of improving our time / by a divine of the Church of England ; with a preface by A. Horneck.

ADVICE TO CHILDREN.

THERE is scarce any thing wherein all Nations, and Men of all Religions, do more agree, than in the Common Duties of Chil∣dren to their Parents: Neither is there any thing that tends more to the com∣fort and happiness, the beauty and strength of Society, than for Children to perform all those Duties which they owe to their Parents. And yet hew sad is it to think, that a great many Children, who have not only all the advantages which natural Religi∣on affords, but likewise the assistance of Divine Revelation, do nevertheless

carry themselves in that manner to∣wards their Parents, as if they either understood nothing of their Duty, or were most prodigiously perverse, and resolved to rebel against the Light, to trample upon all the Principles both of Natural and Revealed Religion.

The Design of this short Treatise is to shew what the Duties of Children are towards their Parents, and to sug∣gest some Considerations to excite them to do their Duty.

1. Duty of Children, to honour their Pa∣rents: and how they are to honour them.

First, Children are bound to ho∣nour their Parents; which imports, First, That they should entertain re∣spectful and reverend thoughts of them, as being under God the Au∣thors of their Life and Being; they must not think slightingly, and un∣der valuingly of their Parents, what∣ever be their weaknesses and imperfe∣ctions: They ought to hate and abhor their Vices, every thing in them that is evil, dishonourable to God, and contrary to his Laws and Command∣ments; but still they ought to love

and honour their persons: And if at any time disrespectful and irreverend thoughts arise in their minds, they ought to check them, to accuse and be angry with themselves for them; and to call to mind what God hath commanded them to do, when he saith, [Honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.]

Secondly, This imports that they ought to express their inward Reve∣rence and Esteem by all the outward marks and demonstrations thereof, in their words and deeds, their looks and gestures; these things are the Pi∣cture of the Mind, they ordinarily re∣present the temper and disposition thereof; so that if there be any thing of real esteem and regard towards any body in the heart, it will discover it self by some of those outward expressi∣ons. We see how Solomon carried him∣self towards his Mother, 1 Kings 2.19. Bathsheba went unto King Solomon to speak unto him for Adonijah: And the King rose up to meet her, and bowed him∣self unto her, and sate down on his Throne, and caused a seat to be set for the King's Mother, and she sate on his right hand.

Children are more apt to carry them∣selves irreverently and slightingly to∣wards their Mother, which is the reason, as some think, that she is set down first. Lev. 19.3. Ye shall fear every man his mother, and his father.

Thirdly, This imports that they ought to cover the infirmities and weaknes∣ses, the imperfections and indiscreti∣ons of their Parents; to do as Shem and Japhet did, Gen. 9.23. when Noah their Father was drunken, and was un∣covered within his Tent. They took a gar∣ment, and laid it upon both their shoul∣ders, and went backwards, and covered the nakedness of their father, and their faces were backward, and they saw not their fa∣thers nakedness. Children are not to publish the faults and follies of their Parents; but ought to conceal them, all that they can. However, there are two things very consistent with this Duty: First, Children may and ought to do all that they can, by their pri∣vate, modest, and humble Advice, to reclaim their Parents from their sinful practices. Secondly, If they find it not so fit for them immediately to ad∣vise their Parents; or if what they say hath not the designed effect, then

they may recommend this charitable office to the care of some other body, who is a wise and kind, a pious and serious Friend, who may have some more influence than themselves towards the reclaiming their Parents. This is the greatest expression of true kind∣ness, honour, and respect to them, when their Children sincerely endeavour, in the discreetest manner, to be the hap∣py instruments of their Conversion and Reformation; of turning them from Satan unto God: This is to be, in some sort, the Fathers in Christ, to those who are their Parents by Nature. O how happy are the Parents of such worthy Children! How may they re∣joyce and bless God, who hath bestow∣ed on them so great a Blessing?

If Children are thus obliged to honour their Parents;* 1.1 what shall be said of those who dis∣honour, despise, and slight them, all that ever they can; who undervalue them in their thoughts; who speak of them with great contempt and dis∣dain; who speak to them with great insolence; who mock and scorn them; who laugh at them, and make mouths

at them, and point at them with the finger; who reproach and revile them; who break indecent jests upon them; who make them the objects of their sport and pastime; who take pleasure in publishing their weaknesses and in∣discretions, that others also may laugh at them, and despise them? How dreadful and terrible are the Curses and Judgments, which God hath in store against such wretched Children? Prov. 30.17. The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother; the Ravens of the vallies shall pick it out, and the young Eagles shall eat it. That is, he who is a mocker and scorner of his Parents, who despises and slights them, shall die a shameful death, and remain unburied, and shall be exposed to the birds and beasts of prey, to be eaten of them. It does not follow from hence, that all perverse wretched Chil∣dren come to such a shameful and un∣timely end: Only it shews what oft∣times happeneth, and is very usual, to wit, that such mockers and despisers of Parents are punished remarkably by the Justice of God in this World, and are made Examples to all others, who will open their eyes to consider the

hand of God against such ungodly Children.

As for Instances of the Divine Ju∣stice against Mockers of Parents, all Ages and Countries are full of them. Cham was made an Example of this, Gen. 9.22, 24, 25. And Cham the fa∣ther of Canaan saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without. And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him. And he said, Cursed be Ca∣naan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren. In which words, tho' Canaan the Son of Cham is only men∣tioned, yet Cham is not exempted from the Curse; his punishment is hereby made so much the greater, because he is not only pronounced accursed in his own person (which is necessarily to be supposed, he having committed the sin which caused the Curse) but also in his Posterity, which could not but in∣crease mightily his grief, and make his punishment lye more heavy upon him.

2. Duty, to obey their Parents.

Secondly, Children are to obey their Parents, to do what they bid them. See this in the Example of Joseph, when Jacob sent him to his Bre∣thren, Gen. 37.13, 14. And Israel said unto Joseph, Do not thy brethren feed the flock in Shechem? Come, and I will send thee unto them: And he said to him, Here am I. And he said to him, Go, I pray thee, see whether it be well with thy brethren, and well with the flocks, and bring me word again: so he sent him out of the vale of Hebron, and he came to Shechem. The Commands of Parents are either about the same things which God hath commanded, or they are about things indifferent, or about things unlawful. If they are about the same things which God hath commanded, they are so much the more to be obeyed; as being the will and pleasure both of their Father in Heaven, and of their earthly Parents. In this case the obligation to obedience is double. Secondly, If their Parents Commands are about things indiffe∣rent, that is, which are neither com∣manded,

nor forbidden by God, Chil∣dren are likewise to obey them: God hath made it their Duty so to do, Col. 3.20. Children obey your Parents in all things; for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. This obedience is very accep∣table to him; he takes great plea∣sure and delight in it, to see those o∣beyed and submitted to, whom he hath appointed to be, as it were, in his own stead; whom he hath cloathed with some beams of Divine Power; whom, with relation to their Children, he hath made, in some sense, sacred persons; whose Will ought to be a Law unto them, tho' only in the Lord. For, Thirdly, if the thing command∣ed be plainly unlawful, they are to refuse complacence therewith; because they are bound to obey God rather than man, rather than Father or Mo∣ther; rather than all the World: Their obligations to God are much greater than to their Parents; he is the Ma∣ker both of them, and of their Parents; they live by his Bounty, the Earth they tread on is his; the Air they breathe in, the Heavens that cover them, the food they eat, the water they drink, the garments that cloath them, and all

other things which they enjoy for their benefit and comfort in the World, are the Lord's: He is their great Master, who appoints them their business in the World, and assures them of a re∣ward; he also will reckon with them, and either reward, or punish them ac∣cording to their works; and therefore his Commands are to be preferred to those of all others.

But even in this case, Children are to express, in their very denial and refusal of obedience, all that Honour and Respect to their Parents, that's possible; that they may see it is not stubbornness, but the fear of God, which makes them disobey. By this means Parents may perhaps be convinced, and made sensible of their sin, and prevail∣ed with to shun those evil things, which they see their very Children do so much hate and abhor, and wherein they refuse to obey.

* 1.2If Children are thus bound by the Laws of Heaven, to obey their Parents; what shall be said of those, who make no account of their Parents Commands, but set at naught all their Admonitions and Coun∣sels;

who will not follow their Dire∣ctions, and be governed by them for their own good; but do follow their own humor & fancy, and the examples and customs of others like themselves? What a sad mark is this of approach∣ing ruine, and of heavy Judgments, which hang over the heads of such un∣godly Children, as you may see in the Sons of Ely, 1 Sam. 2.25. of whom it is said, that they hearkened not unto the voice of their Father, because the Lord would slay them.

By the Law of Moses, the stubborn Son was to be put to death, Deut. 21.18, 19, 20, 21. If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that when they have chasten∣ed him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the Elders of his City, and unto the gate of his place: And they shall say unto the Elders of his City, This our son is stubborn and rebel∣lious, he will not obey our voice: He is a glutton and a drunkard. And all the men of his City shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you, and all Israel shall hear and fear.

In ancient times, in most Countries, Parents had an absolute power over their Children, to punish them as they thought good, for their disobedience and other faults: And when amongst the Romans they lessened this power, yet they did it at first only in part; The Father was enjoyned to present his disobedient Child to the Judge, that he might be punished; and the Judge was to pronounce such a Sentence as the Father thought fit. This came somewhat near the Law of Moses. By this it appears, what the sense of Man∣kind was concerning the exceeding greatness of the crime of stubbornness and disobedience in Children to Pa∣rents.

3. Duty of Children, to be determined by their Parents as to their Calling.

Thirdly, They are to be determined by them, as to their Calling and Em∣ployment, if it be an honest and law∣ful one. Their Parents are to be sup∣posed ordinarily more wise and pru∣dent to chuse for them, than they are to chuse a Trade for themselves: They have more experience, and know the

World better than their Children do; and no doubt, they have kindness e∣nough for them to wish them well, and to design their advantage, and not to press them to any Trade or way of Life, which they believe is inconveni∣ent, and like to be hurtful to them: But if Parents should be mistaken, as to the fitness of the Employment, to which they design their Children; and supposing the Children to be sensible of the great inconveniencies thereof, which the Parents, through prejudices and partialities, do not see; in this case Children may, with all due mo∣desty, meekness, and humility, represent to their Parents what their thoughts are, and tell them what objections they have against such a Calling; that their Parents may be prevailed upon, by their Reasons, to alter their resoluti∣ons: or if they be not so fit themselves to discourse their Parents upon such a subject, they may do it by some wise and discreet Friends. And if after all; Parents be wilful in their intenti∣on and design; Children are not up∣on the account of uncertain, or pro∣bable inconveniencies, to oppose them∣selves to the Will of their Parents;

they ought to submit themselves to their Judgment, if the Trade, or man∣ner of Life, to which they design them, be not dishonest and unlawful; for then there is no farther question to be made; the case is clear: The Will of God is always to be preferred to the Will of Man. He that loveth father or mother more than me, saith Christ, is not worthy of me, Matth. 10.37. But if there be nothing of dishonesty or un∣lawfulness in such an Employment, they are to enter upon it with all the chear∣fulness that's possible; leaving all events unto God. It will afford great peace and comfort to their minds, whatever afterwards falls out, when they consi∣der, that they did what was their Du∣ty to do; they submitted their own opinion to the Judgment of their Pa∣rents, whom God hath commanded them to obey. Whatever may be their temporal loss, they are sure of spiri∣tual gain. God will plentifully reward their humble obedience, and ready com∣pliance with the Will of their earthly Parents.

* 1.3From what hath been said on this Head, we may see

how much they are to be blamed, who are so far from being determined by their Parents, in the way and manner of their living in the World, that they either wholly give up themselves to idleness, and waste their time in vain and foolish Company, or they chuse some way of living, that is either dishonest, or very inconvenient for them in many regards; or if they comply with their Parents, so far as to enter upon some honest way of li∣ving, yet they do not keep at it, but leave it, and become Prodigals; they spend their substance in riotous living; they waste and consume what their Parents bestow upon them, in drinking, gaming, and whoring, and such like extrava∣gancies, whereby they prove Robbers of their Parents; of whom, see what the Wise Man saith, Prov. 28.24. Who so robbeth his Father, and his Mother, and saith, It is no Transgression, the same is a Companion of a Destroyer. That is, he is to be look'd on as one of those who rob and murder on the High-way; as a man desperately wicked, who is disposed to act any sort of Villa∣ny, and Impiety, who will stick at nothing in pursuit of his mad and

wretched designs, that may gratifie his Lusts and Passions.

4. Duty, not to suffer themselves to be bestowed in Marriage against their Pa∣rents will.

Fourthly, As to their Marriage, they are not to suffer themselves to be be∣stowed, without their Parents consent. Thus Samson, Judg. 14.1, 2. And Sam∣son went down to Timnath, and saw a Woman in Timnath, and he came up and told his Father, and his Mother, and said, I have seen a Woman in Timnath of the Daughters of the Philistins, now therefore get her for me to Wife. How great rea∣son is there for this? that they who are under God, the causes of their life and being in the World, whose goods and possession Children are, should he acknowledged and advised with by them, and depended on in the settling of themselves in the World, in such a state of Life, which will prove either the foundation of great happiness or of great misery. To give themselves away, without their Parents Consent, is a kind of theft; it is to invade the right of others; to rob them of that which

God hath given them. We see how great the Power of Parents was, by the Law of Moses, Numb. 30.3, 4, 5. To disanul the rash Vows of their Children before Marriage. If a Woman also vow a Vow unto the Lord, and bind her self by a Bond, being in her Father's House, in her youth, and her Father hear her Vow and her Bond, wherewith she hath bound her Soul, and her Father shall hold his peace at her: Then all her Vows shall stand, and every Bond wherewith she hath bound her Soul, shall stand: But if her Father disallow her in the day that he heareth; not any of her Vows, or of her Bonds, wherewith she hath bound her Soul, shall stand: And the Lord shall forgive her, because her Father disallowed her. Now if it be thus in a Father's power to disanul his Daughters rash Vow which she made to God, how much more may we reckon it in his Power, to disanul her rash and indiscreet pro∣mise made to Man, of bestowing her self without her Parents allowance? Can there be any thing more unjust, more unkind, more unthankful, and more unnatural, than for Children, who have been brought up, nourished, and cherished by their Parents, for

whom all their care and pains have been bestowed, to dispose of themselves in the most important affair of their lives, without their knowledge, or a∣gainst their Will? What a grief and trouble of heart must this needs be to their poor Parents? As we see it was to Isaac and Rebekah, Gen. 26.34, 35. And Esau was forty years old, when he took to Wife Judith, the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath, the Daughter of Elon the Hittite, which were a grief of mind to Isaac, and to Rebe∣kah. As to such undutiful Children, who do thus bestow themselves against their Parents will and consent, it is very re∣markable, that they seldom live hap∣pily and comfortably; they bring upon themselves very often a great deal of sorrow and trouble, lasting misery and woe: They live to eat the fruit of their foolish doings; and wish, when it is to little purpose, that they had never done so mad and wicked a thing.

5. Duty, to submit to their Parents Re∣proofs and Chastenings.

Fifthly, They are meekly and pati∣ently to submit to their Reproofs, to

their Chastenings and Corrections. It is a Power that God hath given Parents over their Children, to correct and chasten them for their Faults: This is necessary for Childrens good; and therefore, when Parents do correct them, they ought not to be angry with them, or grumble at their seve∣rity which they use for reforming of them; much less are they to resist and rebel against them. Heb. 12.9. We have had Fathers of our flesh, which cor∣rected us, and we gave them reverence. Yea, tho' Parents sometimes exceed the bounds of prudence and discretion in chastising their Children, tho' they indulge a little to their own Passion; yet Children are bound patiently to bear and suffer their Corrections: They are not to fly out into indecent and irreverent words and actions, but with all the submission and respect that's possible, ought to endeavour to miti∣gate the wrath and passion of their an∣gry Parents; and afterwards they are to study all that ever they can, to prevent their anger and displeasure, by a most humble, reverend, and du∣tiful carriage.

How much may this serve to reprove those,* 1.4 who are so far from ta∣king in good part their Parents correcting and chastening of them, that they refuse to submit there∣to? They resist them, and rebel against them. Can there be any thing more unnatural and monstrous, than to see those who owe their being to their Parents; who have been brought up by them; who have met with so ma∣ny testimonies of a tender care, and of great kindness; to rise up against them? to fly into the faces of those who are the Authors of their being? to lift up their hand against them? This is a sin of so crying a nature, that he who was guilty thereof, was to be put to death by the Law of Moses, Exod. 21.15. He that smiteth his Fa∣ther or his Mother, shall be surely put to death. How greatly does it aggravate this sin, when Children have met with no severe, nor unmerciful dealing from their Parents? But have been treated by them, with all that gentleness and kindness that was possible. And yet for such Children to rise up against their Parents, is a Crime of so black a na∣ture,

that it is no wonder if the hand of God appear against them for it, in a very signal manner; as it did in the case of Absalom, for whom his Father David had so great a fondness: This unthankful and unnatural Son rose up against him, and endeavoured by force and violence to pull him from the Throne, and to usurp the Royal Dig∣nity. See how the hand of God ap∣peared against him. 2 Sam. 18.9. And Absalom met the Servants of David; and Absalom rode upon a Mule, and the Mule went under the thick Boughs of a great Oak, and his Head caught hold of the Oak, and he was taken up between the Heaven and the Earth, and the Mule that was under him went away. And, ver. 14. it is said that Joab took three darts in his hand, and thrust them through the heart of Absalom, while he was yet alive in the midst of the Oak. And ver. 15. Ten young Men that bare Joab's Armour, compassed about, and smote Absalom, and slew him. And ver. 17. They took Absalom and cast him in∣to a great Pit in the Wood, and laid a very great heap of stones upon him. This was done as a lasting Monument of Absalom's sin and shame, and of God's righteous Judgment upon him.

6. Duty, to love their Parents, and how they are to express their Love.

Sixthly, Children ought to love their Parents; and to express it by all those Offices, which are in their Power to do for them; by serving them readily; by doing every thing that may make them well pleased; by sympathizing with them in all their troubles; by as∣sisting them, and doing all they can, to make their Lives joyful and com∣fortable; by shunning every thing that may grieve them, or make them un∣easie: They ought to refuse no labour, nor pains to do them service, especi∣ally when they are sick and weak, op∣pressed with the Burden of Old Age, or poor and indigent, under any sort of necessity whatsoever; then ought Children to be very ready to help them, to comfort and to encourage them, to do all that they can to make their lives easie to them, and to ligh∣ten their Burdens. This is called, 1 Tim. 1.4. A shewing Piety at home. It is an act of Religion and Worship, which God is well pleased with. We see how Joseph nourished his Father and his

Brethren, and all his Fathers house∣hold with Bread, Gen. 47.12. It was an old Roman Law. Let Children re∣lieve their Parents, or be put in Prison.

How many Examples have there been amongst the Heathens of Eminent Pie∣ty towards Parents? Such was that Act of her,* 1.5 who when her Old Father was condemned to be put to death in Prison, visited him often, and gave him suck, and so preserved him alive, who otherwise must have dyed of Famine.

The like instance we meet with in the same Author,* 1.6 of a worthy Ro∣man Daughter, who did in the same manner preserve her Mo∣ther in Prison, being condemned to dye. When the Keeper of the Prison, to whom the charge of putting her to death was committed, found after some time, that her Daughter kept her alive by giving her suck, he was so affected with the greatness of the Daughters Compassion and tenderness to her Mo∣ther, that he made it known to those in Power, who were likewise so migh∣tily touched with such an unusual in∣stance

of tender Affection; that they pardoned the Mother, as the greatest Reward they could bestow on the Daughter for her marvellous Affe∣ction.

What can there be more just and rea∣sonable, than for Children thus to en∣deavour to requite their Parents, for their great care and kindness towards them, when they were not able to help themselves? The time was, when their Parents were as Eyes and Hands and Feet to them; they did every thing for them, their Children not being ca∣pable to do any thing for themselves: How ready therefore should they be to serve their Parents, to assist them by all good Offices, when their conditi∣on requires it?

This is a Duty to which Children are so strictly obliged (to wit the assisting and relieving of their Parents) that no pretence is sufficient to absolve them from the Obligation thereof. The Pha∣risees thought they had found out an Exception from this Rule, which was this; that if Children gave away their Wealth to pious and Charitable uses, they were freed from the Obligation of relieving their Parents: They taught

them in this case, to tell their Parents, It is Corban, that is to say, a Gift, by what∣soever thou mightest be profited by me. Mar. 7.11. And by saying this, they made people believe that they were sufficiently freed from all Obligations to take care of, and provide for their Parents. But our Saviour reproves them severely, telling them, that this was no other than the making void the Command∣ments of God by their Traditions.

We may see from this,* 1.7 what Judgment to make of such unkind, undutiful, and unnatu∣ral Children, who do wholly neglect their Parents, especially in their old age, and in their poor and low Estate; who shew them no more pity, and express no more love nor tenderness towards them, than if they were not their Parents; who grudge them the least supply; and take all the wicked courses that they can, to starve them to death, that they may be rid of them; who wish and long for, and rejoyce in the death of their poor Parents. O what a horrid Barbarity and Inhuma∣nity is this! Shall not many Pagans rise up in Judgment against such Children, and

Condemn them? How little do they de∣serve the Name of Christian Children? Their true Name is Unchristian, and unnatural Children. As Solomon bid the Sluggard go to the Ant, so may we bid such hard-hearted and unmerciful Chil∣dren go to the Stork, of whom it is told, that when the old Dams cannot feed themselves, their little ones feed and nourish them; when their Fea∣thers fall from them, they cover them with their Feathers; and when they are not able to fly, they couple them∣selves together, to carry them upon their Backs. Let uncompassionate Chil∣dren go to this compassionate Creature, and consider her ways and be wise; Let them learn from her, to be more kind and affectionate, and tender-hear∣ted towards their Parents, and not a∣ny longer to harden their Bowels a∣gainst them.

7. Duty, to pray for their Parents.

Seventhly, Because all that Children can do is not sufficient to requite the love and tender care of their Parents; therefore they ought to pray to God, that he would reward them, and preserve

them, and keep them alive; that he would supply all their wants, and com∣fort them in all their troubles, and requite their Love, their tender care, and their great cost and pains they have been at to bring them up, and to edu∣cate them. How happy are the Parents of such Children, who are supplicants and intercessors, at the Throne of Grace, for good things unto them? Such Children are the strength of their Parents; they are a great blessing un∣to them.

If it be the Duty of Chil∣dren, thus to pray to God,* 1.8 in behalf of their Parents, what shall we say of those, who neither pray for them, nor them∣selves, but live like the Beasts that pe∣rish, and mind nothing that's good? And if their Crime is great, who do not at all pray for their Parents; how dreadful is their Guilt, who Curse them? What dreadful Judgments may such Monsters of wickedness expect. Prov. 20.20. Who so Curseth his Father or his Mother, his Lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness; that is, he shall be reduced unto a sad afflicted and mise∣rable State; his prosperous condition

(which is compared to Light, or to a Lamp) shall be turned into Adversity and Misery, and that very great, which is expressed by [obscure darkness] he shall be made very miserable; his state and condition in the World shall be∣come most uncomfortable; as it is for a Man who walketh in a way that is full of Light, where he beholds a great many Objects, which afford him plea∣sure and delight, suddenly to be de∣prived of all this, and to find himself all alone in obscure darkness, without all help and comfort. By the Law of Moses, such ungodly and unnatural Chil∣dren were without any pardon to be put to death. Exod. 21.17. He that Curseth his Father or his Mother, shall surely be put to death.

From what hath been said, Children may see what their Duty is, which they owe to their Parents; which that they may perform, there are several things which serve as powerful Motives and Arguments to excite them.

Motives to excite Children to do these things.

First,* 1.9 It will tend migh∣tily to move them to Honour their Father and Mother, if they consider who requires this at their hands. This Law proceedeth not from Men, but from God; It is a Law made by him who is their Maker; and therefore by right of Creation may require their Obedience: It is a Law made by their faithful preserver, and rich pro∣vider; and therefore by vertue of his daily care over them, and kindness to them, may command them what he thinks good: This is the will of their Father in Heaven, of their Lord and King, of him who will call them to an account, and render to them accord∣ing to their Works; of him who is their greatest and best Friend, if they do his Will and keep his Commandments; but will be their most dreadful and ter∣rible Enemy, if they do not obey his Voice: If therefore children have any sense of God on their Souls; if they consider his infinite greatness, power,

wisdom, justice, truth, faithfulness, mercy, and kindness; they cannot but endeavour to perform what he requires, when once they know what is his holy will and pleasure. Now, as to what I speak of, to wit the Duty of Children to Parents, it is plain and clear, not only from those Laws which are con∣tained in Holy Scripture, which were revealed from Heaven to Holy Men, whom God made use of to be the pub∣lishers thereof to the World: but likewise from the Laws of Nature, those clear impressions which God hath made on the minds of Men in all pla∣ces, and in all Ages; whereby they are taught that Children ought to honour and obey their Parents, to love them and to relieve them, and provide for them, if they stand in need of their help. These have always been the calm and sober thoughts of all Men; and when any were so wicked as to violate this sacred Law, they were hated and abhorred by all others; and in all well govern'd States, were punished according to the demerits of their Crime, and the degree of their diso∣bedience and perverseness, either im∣mediately by the Parents, or by pub∣lick

Judges, upon complaint made by Parents. The Sense of all this ought to move Children to honour their Father and Mother, that they may approve themselves to God, who requires them to do so, and that upon the severest Penalties, if they shall dare to disho∣nour them, and disobey them.

Secondly, To encourage Children to perform their Duty to their Parents,* 1.10 God hath been pleased to add a gracious promise. That thy days may be long upon the Land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. He might only have com∣manded them to do this, by virtue of his absolute Power and Soveraign Au∣thority, which he has over all Men, without proposing any Reward; but such is his infinite Bounty and Good∣ness, that he hath added a Promise to the Command, thereby to make Chil∣drens Duty the more easie.

As to the Promise it self, it is not to be understood absolutely, as if all good Children should live long; pro∣mises of Temporal Blessings are made conditionally, that is, so far as God sees such things best and fittest for us: So that as to this promise of long life,

God will bestow it, if it be most for his own Glory, and the good and Be∣nefit of Children. Oftentimes he does lengthen out the years of pious and dutiful Children; whereas the years of wicked and undutiful Children are shortned by their prophane and wick∣ed Courses; so that some of them are cut off immediately by the hand of God; and others are put to death by the hand of Man.

As for those Children who live not to a great Age, tho' they are very du∣tiful and obedient to their Parents; God doth make up what is wanting in the number of their years here, with an everlasting Life, and Glory in Heaven. In which case there's no cause to Complain, as if God did not fulfill his promise to them. For as there is no reason for a Man to complain, who is employed to work for so much a day, if his Master see it fit to free him from his Work, and pay him all his Wages before the third part of his time is out: Even so, if God think fit to set his Children at Liberty, from the toil and labour of this life, and to bestow upon them glorious and Eter∣nal Rewards, while they are in the

Morning or Noon, as it were, of their Age, there is no ground of complain∣ing upon his doing so, but rather great matter of praise and thanksgi∣ving unto him, whose mercy and love is infinitely great.

But besides this Reward in the other World; there are Temporal Bles∣sings which God will bestow on those who keep this Commandment. How acceptable and pleasing to him, was the Obedience of the Rechabites unto their Father, tho' his Commands seem∣ed very hard and severe, to wit, That they should drink no Wine, nor build House, nor sow seed, nor plant Vineyard, nor have any, but should dwell in Tents, Jer. 35. 6, 7. &c. And ver. 18. Jeremiah said unto the House of the Rechabites, Thus saith the Lord of Hosts, the God of Israel, because you have obeyed the Command of Jonadab your Father, and kept all his Precepts, and done according to all that he hath commanded you: Therefore thus saith the Lord of Hosts, the God of Isra∣el, Jonadab the Son of Rechab shall not want a Man to stand before me for ever. Which Words import that he would take a particular care of them, that he would be mindful of them, and

have them in his Eye; that he would preserve them, and shew them his fa∣vour and love, and continue unto them those Offices and Priviledges which they enjoyed, which some think were, of being Scribes and Doctors of the Law, and having some Charge in or about the Temple.

* 1.11Thirdly, Besides the Command of God, and the Reward which he hath promised to them who honour their Parents, how strong an Argument ought it to be unto all Children, to excite them to this, when they consider the Example of their Blessed Lord and Master, their King and Saviour, Jesus Christ? Of whom it is said, that he was subject unto his Parents, Luke 2.51 And if he, who was so much greater than his Parents, who was their Lord, their King, their Maker, their Saviour and Redeemer; if he, who was the Son of God, and thought it no Robbery to be equal with God, I say, if he was subject to his Parents, ought not all Children to be so to their Parents? and to esteem it their glory to imitate their Prince and Saviour, as in his other Virtues,

so in his Obedience and Subjection to his Parents? Shall any Man think him∣self too good to do this, when Christ did it before him? Can it be too mean for a Worm to do that, which a Man, a great Man, and a mighty Prince hath done? Shall vile sinners think them∣selves abased and dishonoured by doing that which was done before by him, who knew no sin, and in whose Mouth there was found no guile, who was holy, harm∣less, and undefiled, separate from sin∣ners, and made higher than the Heavens, Heb. 7.26. As our Blessed Lord was a great and noble Pattern to us in o∣ther things, so particularly in his love to his Parents. When he was upon the Cross, a little before he gave up the Ghost, he expressed how great his love was to his Mother, and how tender a care he had of her. John 19.25, 26, 27. Now there stood by the Cross of Je∣sus, his Mother, and his Mothers Sister, Mary the Wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus therefore saw his Mother, and the Disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his Mother, Woman, behold thy Son. Then saith he to the Disciple, behold thy Mother. And from that hour, that Disciple took her unto his

own home. He commends his Mother to John (Joseph in all probability being dead) that he might take care of her, as of his own Mother. Tho' he was at this time in the midst of great pain and anguish, tho' his hands and his feet were nailed to the Cross, tho' his head was Crowned with Thorns, tho' he lay under the most insupport∣able Burden that ever Man lay under, yet, as if the sight of his Mother had made him forget all his Sufferings, and Torments, he affectionately recom∣mends her to the Care of another, who he knew would perform all the Offi∣ces of a loving Son unto her. He knew how great an affliction it would be to her, to be deprived of the Comfort of his presence in the World; he knew to how many necessities and wants, she should be exposed by his leaving of her; and therefore he gives it in charge to the beloved Disciple, to do the Duty of a Son unto her, to be to her in his stead, to honour her, to love her, to serve her, to take care of her, and provide whatever might be fit for her. This shews all Chil∣dren what is their Duty towards their Parents, to wit, that they ought to

take care of them, so long as they live, and are able to do it; they ought with all respect and kindness, to per∣form unto them all those Offices, which the Laws of Nature and Chri∣stianity require.

Fourthly, May not the Ex∣amples of some Heathens,* 1.12 which have already been men∣tioned, excite Christian Chil∣dren to perform their Duty to their Parents? There are a great many more instances might be added to this purpose; I shall only mention two. The first is, of the brave Coriolanus, that Great Roman Com∣mander, who being very ill used by his Country-men, fled to the Volscians, who were at that time at War with the Romans. Within a little time after his coming amongst them, he was made General of their Forces; in which Ser∣vice he had great Success against the Romans, gaining several Victories over them, whereby he was encouraged to approach to the very Walls of Rome: His Country-men were terribly alarm∣ed with this; so that they were for∣ced to make humble Addresses to him, to deprecate his displeasure, but to no

purpose: They sent their Priests in their sacred Vestments, but to as little Effect: But no sooner did his Mother, attended with his Wife and Children, come to him, but he submitted him∣self to her. Now, says he, you have overcome me indeed, when the intrea∣ties of my Mother are added to yours; tho' Rome deserve my hatred, yet for my Mothers sake I will spare it; and immediately he withdrew his Army.

A second Example, is that of the worthy Athenian Captain Cimon, who not being able to redeem the Corps of his Father, which was arrested for Debt, sold himself, and became a Slave, that his deceased Father's Body might be freed from that Arrest that was upon it, and so might have honou∣rable Burial. This great Man was famous for his Noble and Valiant Ex∣ploits, for his great courage and ex∣cellent Conduct in Military Affairs; but there was not any thing for which he was so much admired and loved, as for this wonderful instance of Affection and Respect to his Fa∣ther.

May not such shining Patterns a∣mongst the Pagans, make many Chri∣stians

ashamed, who come so far short of them, in their Duty and Obedi∣ence to their Parents? Shall not they rise up in Judgment and con∣demn Christians, who tho' they have a more excellent, compleat, and per∣fect Rule, tho' they have a great deal more Light to direct them in their Duty to their Parents; and tho' they have much greater assistan∣ces to enable them to perform their Duty; do nevertheless carry them∣selves so undutifully, and unchristi∣anly, as if they had never heard of the Gospel of Christ, yea, as if they had been born without any impressions of Natural Religion on their Minds, whereby all Nations are so far in∣structed and enlightned, as to acknow∣ledge, that to honour, obey, love, serve, and assist our Parents, is a Du∣ty of unquestionable and indispen∣sible Obligation.

The Conclusion, shewing how Children ought to improve what hath been said.

From what hath been said, Children may see how great reason they have to perform all those offices of Love, Ho∣nour and Subjection to their Parents, that God requires of them. It remains that they seriously and impartially con∣sider, what their practice has been, and whether they have done those things which God requires them to do to∣wards their Father and Mother.

That you may do this to good pur∣pose, it's fit that you employ some time in looking back on your Lives, in consi∣dering how you have honoured, loved, and obeyed your Parents; that you may see, whether you have carried your selves towards them, in words and deeds, as became good Children, who have a sense of Religion; or whether you have not dishonoured, neglected, and disobeyed them.

If upon Examination of your selves, you find that you have done your Du∣ty; that you have sincerely endeavou∣red to obey them in all things; that you have loved them heartily, and payed them that Respect which you

knew was due unto them: Bless God, who hath given you to will and to do according to his good pleasure. But because there are defects and imperfe∣ctions, which cleave to our exactest performances, therefore it is needful that you beg of God to forgive you, wherein soever you have been faulty, or defective in those Duties you owed them. Consider what these defects and imperfections are, and resolve to amend them, and go on in doing every part of your Duty to them with greater ex∣actness, and with all that perfection that's possible.

But if upon inquiry into your hearts and lives, you find that you have been very faulty and defective in the Duties you owe to your Parents; that you have neglected to do what you ought to have done; that instead of honou∣ring them, you have dishonoured them, you have slighted and despised them, you have mo••k••d and scorned them, you have reviled and reproached them; if instead of obeying them, you find that you have been stubborn and dis∣obedient to them, you have refused to follow their Counsels and Admoniti∣ons, you have done your own Will,

and followed your own vain humour and fancy, in contempt of their Will; if instead of submitting to their cor∣rections and chastenings, you have re∣fused submission to them, and perhaps have rebelled against them; if instead of loving them, you have hated them, and wished, and desired their death; if instead of relieving them in their wants, and supplying them with what was necessary for them, you have wast∣ed their substance by your riotous and extravagant Living, you have put off all bowels of compassion and tenderness towards them; it, I say, you find that you have thus carried your selves to∣wards them, in a way so contrary to your Duty, how ought you to la∣ment and mourn for your wickedness and folly? How ought you to accuse your selves for your great iniquity, and to aggravate your crimes by all just and fit considerations? You may in this manner expostulate the case with your selves: What a sad and unwor∣thy Wretch am I, who have thus dis∣honoured, hated, and disobeyed my dear Parents, who are under God the Authors of my Being in the World, to whom I owe that I am? Who have

proved so undutiful to them who took care of me, when I could not take care of my self? who fed and cloathed me, who were at so great pains and charge for me, who have employed so much of their time and strength to provide for me all necessary things? and yet that I should prove so wicked as to de∣spise them, to disobey them, and hate them; not to submit my self unto them, what base and wicked ingrati∣tude is it? That I, who should have been a Blessing to them, should prove a Curse; That I who should have been a Comfort to them, should be the cause of their grief and sorrow? That I who should have been a help unto them, should be so great a hinderance? That I who should have been the stay and support of their Old age, should prove their ruine, and the cause of the spend∣ing of their days in anguish and trou∣ble? What a prodigious impiety is this? What a wretched and abomina∣ble Creature am I, who have been guilty of such horrid impiety? Who have had so little regard to those who are to me in God's stead here in the World? What punishment do I not deserve? What a wonder is it that

God hath spared me and pitied me, and hath not cut me off in the midst of my disobedience, neglect, and contempt of my Parents! That he hath not made me an Example to all others, and a standing Monument of his just displeasure! That he has not bound me hand and foot, and cast me into utter darkness, and given me my portion with Hypocrites and Sinners; but hath lengthened out my years, and given me time and place to repent!

Having thus in your own minds ex∣postulated the matter with your selves, you may in the next place adore and bless the Divine Goodness, the infinite Mercy, and astonishing Kindness of God towards you, in having spared and pitied you; in not dealing with you after your sins, nor rewarding you after your iniquities; but that he hath been pleased to wait to be gracious to you. Humbly confess your faults and offences unto him; with great shame and confusion of face, and with true grief and sorrow of heart acknowledge your iniquities; make particular con∣fession, so far as you remember, of your stubbornness and disobedience to your Parents, of your contempt and

neglect of them, of your hating them, and wishing Evil to them, of your speaking irreverently and wickedly to them, or of them, of your not sub∣mitting to their Corrections, of your not heeding their Admonitions and Counsels, nor regarding their just Re∣proofs, &c. Beg of God, for Christ's sake, to have mercy on you, and to blot out your Sins, and to make you what you ought to be.

After this, it is fit to form sincere and hearty Resolutions of doing your Duty, in all respects, to your Parents for the time to come; of loving, honouring, obeying, and serving them, as you ought to do. Resolve to a∣mend whatever has been amiss and de∣fective either in your thoughts words or deeds, with relation to them. Beg of God to strengthen you in your Resolutions; to fortify you against all Temptations; to inspire you with his Fear and Love; to guide you by his good Spirit; and that he would ne∣ver leave you, nor forsake you.

If the Example and Society of o∣ther wicked Children has been an oc∣casion of making you so bad, and of hardening you in your Contempt,

Stubbornness and Disobedience; resolve to break off your Familiarities with them; let them and all others know, and see, that you are sorry for your Disobedience to your Parents; for your having dishonoured, slighted, and neg∣lected them; and that you are resol∣ved to do so no more; but will, by the help of God, approve your selves Dutiful, Kind, and Obedient Children.

Not only must you in this manner make your Humble and Penitent Con∣fession to Almighty God your Heaven∣ly Father, whom you have provoked, as by your other Sins, so particular∣ly by your disobedience to your Parents, and by your dishonouring of them; but you must likewise confess unto your Parents the Crimes whereof you have been guilty against them; you must say as the Prodigal did, I will a∣rise, and go to my Father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against Hea∣ven, and before thee; and am no more worthy to be called thy Son. Luke 15.18, 19. Let your Parents see that you are heartily sorry for your Offences against them by Word or Deed; beg of them to forgive you, and desire them to pray to God that he would forgive you.

You are to be careful after this, to fulfil your Purposes and Resolutions, and to perform all those Duties of Love, Honour, and Obedience to your Parents, wherein you were formerly so defective. For this end it is fit, daily and earnestly to beg of God, that he would direct and assist you to do what is well-pleasing in his sight. It is necessary for you to be very jea∣lous of your deceitful and desperate∣ly wicked Hearts; to watch over them carefully, lest they turn aside to∣wards your former crooked Ways; lest you return with the Dog to the Vomit. Watch against all those Temp∣tations, whereby you are most in dan∣ger of being seduced, and intangled again in your former perverse Pra∣ctices and Customs.

As you have been formerly very neg∣ligent and defective in Honouring and Obeying your Parents, endeavour for the future so much the more, to per∣form all those Duties which you owe unto them, with great care and ex∣actness.

As you have been great Examples of Disobedience, strive to be so much the greater Patterns of Obedience. En∣deavour

to do all that you can; that they who have been, by your Coun∣sels, or Examples, corrupted and made stubborn, and disobedient, may be reformed and rescued from their sins and wickedness; that as you have been Instruments to promote Satan's Kingdom, so you may be zealous for the glory of God, for promoting Pie∣ty and true Virtue in the World; whereof this is no inconsiderable part; that Children honour their Father and Mother, and do all those Duties with chearfulness unto them, which God requires.

This is the way to obtain the di∣vine pardon, to turn away his Wrath, and to keep off those heavy Judgments which are threatned against stubborn Children, and such who mock and scorn their Parents: Or if God see it fit to punish you here, he will make your Corrections and Punishments, and all other things, work together for your good; and after he hath tryed you, he will bestow upon you rewards of everlasting Life and Glory.

As for those who are so perverse as to despise all Counsel and Advice, who refuse to hearken to any Instructions,

who are resolved to go on in their stubbornness and disobedience to their Parents, in slighting and vilifying them; let them remember what the Wise Man saith, Eccles. 11.9. Rejoice, O young Man, in thy Youth, and let thine heart chear thee, in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine Eyes: But know thou, that for all these things, God will bring thee into Judgment.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Against those who dishonour their Pa∣rents.
• * 1.2

  Against stubborn and disobedient Children.
• * 1.3

  Against Children who neglect this Duty.
• * 1.4

  Against Rebel∣lious Children.
• * 1.5

  Valer. Max. l. 5. cap. 4.
• * 1.6

  Valer. Max. ibid.
• * 1.7

  Against unkind and unnatural Children.
• * 1.8

  Against Cur∣sers of Pa∣rents.
• * 1.9

  1. Motive, from the divine Com∣mandment.
• * 1.10

  2. Motive, from the Di∣vine Promise.
• * 1.11

  3. Motive, from the Example of our Blessed Saviour.
• * 1.12

  4. Motive, from the Examples of some Heathens.