The true interest of families, or, Directions how parents may be happy in their children, and children in their parents to which is annexed a discourse about the right way of improving our time / by a divine of the Church of England ; with a preface by A. Horneck.

The Duty of Parents as to the outward Estate of their Children.

A third thing that belongs to the care of Parents, is the outward E∣state of their Children.

First, When they are fit for a Trade,* 1.1 they ought to chuse an honest Em∣ployment for them: To suffer them to live in Idleness, is to ruin them: If they have not some use∣ful thing or other to take up their thoughts, they are in great hazard of finding somewhat to do which is bad, and hurtful both to themselves and others. The Devil is always at hand to furnish Occasions to idle people, for employing themselves to their own destruction.

As to the particular kind of Employ∣ment, wherein Children are to spend their days, it is to be left to the dis∣cretion and prudence of Parents: They

are so to instruct and dispose the minds of their Children, that they may be ready to be determined to any Trade or manner of Life that's honest, which their Parents think best and meetest for them to follow: But yet a great regard is to be had to the particular Genius and Inclination of Children, which ordinarily disposeth them more for one sort of Employment than ano∣ther: It will make them more diligent in learning their Trade, when they have a delight in it: Otherwise, if they are put forth to a Trade against their minds, they are more likely to neglect it, or to break off from it. Seldom do such persons attain unto great perfection in their Employment, who follow it against the grain.

* 1.2Secondly, When they are fit for Marriage, Parents are so to dis∣pose of them, as that in all likelyhood they may be happy in such a state of Life: They are not to constrain them to marry against their will; for such marriages are seldom happy; they end too often in some∣what or other very Tragical and Ca∣lamitous, to one or t'other party, if not to both.

Great care is to be taken, that there be not too great inequality of outward state and condition; for that occasions often neglect and contempt of the per∣son that is inferiour to the other in some external advantages: Nor yet too great inequality of years; for that doth likewise, sooner or later, cause an abatement and decay, and some∣times an utter extinction of that Re∣spect and Love which is necessary to make those who are married happy.

Parents are not, in disposing of their Children in Marriage, to govern them∣selves wholly by their respect to Riches and Honour; but are to have a regard to Virtue and Goodness, so far, as to prefer one who is discreet and wise, of a Virtuous and good disposition, to another that is foolish, or indiscreet, and prophane and Atheistical, tho' at∣tended with greater degrees of Wealth and Earthly Honour. What a great Reproach is it to our Religion, to think that so many Parents, in disposing of their Children, only consider how much Wealth they may have, and what Friends and Alliances they may make by marrying into such a Family? or what Profits and Preferments may

be expected thereby? As for any other thing, they do not much trouble their Heads about it: They know no other happiness but in the things of this life, and therefore they seek nothing else for their Children, but to make them great and wealthy; by which means it often comes to pass that they bring their Children into a most miserable and unhappy state of life, in which they must pine away their days in sor∣row and grief, in the Company of foo∣lish and wicked wretches, who are often in a fury and rage, who spend their time in gaming and drinking, in Cursing and Swearing, in quarrelling and fighting, in whoring and ranting, and such like woful doings; which can∣not but prove to those, who have any the least degree of real goodness, so very uneasie and afflictive, that Wealth and Riches can make no amends for them. Such unfortunate persons cannot but often envy the happiness of those who are in a very poor and low estate and condition, but yet live in peace and quietness, in love and concord, and in the fear of God; and so enjoy-real satisfaction and contentment, and have a great deal of Comfort to sweeten

their outward Wants and Necessities. Prov. 15.16, 17. Better is little with the fear of the Lord; than great Trea∣sure, and trouble therewith. Better is a Dinner of Herbs where Love is, than a stalled Ox, and hatred therewith.

Thirdly, Parents are to provide for them,* 1.3 if they can, somewhat that may be a foundation for their Comfortable subsistance in the World; which by the Blessing of God on their Callings, may be improved towards their living decent∣ly and honestly. Parents are not to propose to themselves, the rendring their Children very Great and Rich: But as they themselves having Food and Rayment, are to be therewith content; so, if they can get Necessaries for their Children, they ought to rest satisfied, and be thankful. Our life (that is the happiness of our life) doth not consist in the abundance of the things we possess, Luke 12.15. Tho' you are thus to provide for your Children; yet you are not, out of too great thought∣fulness about the time to come, to re∣strain your selves from doing all ne∣cessary

Offices of Charity to the poor, who do now stand in need of your help: Never neglect a present Duty for fear of an uncertain inconvenience: You are forbid to take thought for the Morrow, Matth. 6.34. But you are re∣quired to do good to all Men, while you have opportunity, Gal. 6.10. To cast your Bread upon the Waters; to give a Portion to seven, as also unto eight, be∣cause you know not what evil there may be in the Earth, Eccles. 11.1, 2. This is the way to lay up Treasures for your Children; to entail upon them great Blessings; to make God their Guardian; to leave them to his merciful and kind Providence, and to his Almighty pro∣tection. Ps 37.25, 26. I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the Righteous forsaken, nor his Seed begging Bread. He is ever merciful and lendeth, and his Seed is Blessed. So that by your Bounty and Charity, you put forth your Money into God's hands, who will not fail to repay it with Usury. He that gives to the poor, lendeth to the Lord. You thereby bring your Wares to a good Market. The liberal Soul shall be made fat, Prov. 11.25. He that gives to the poor shall not lack, Prov. 28.27.

and Deut. 15.10. it is written, Thou shalt surely give him, (to wit thy poor Bro∣ther) and thy heart shall not be grieved, when thou givest unto him; because that for this thing, the Lord thy God shall bless thee, in all thy Works, and in all that thou puttest thine hands unto. And in the Epistle to the Hebrews, ch. 6. v. 10. it is said, God is not unrighteous to forget your work, and labour of love, which you have shewed towards his Name, in that you have ministred to the Saints, and do minister. From all which it appears, that Cha∣rity and Liberality are the best Hus∣bandry.

As you are to beware, lest your care for your Children, make you neglect ne∣cessary Duties of Charity; so you are to take heed, lest you use any unlawful method to get Wealth to bestow up∣on them: This is not a way to make them rich; for such Riches seldom pro∣sper: There is a Curse which attends all unlawful Gain, and like a Canker eats it out, and consumes it. All Ages and Places afford Examples, which con∣firm this Observation. Better, saith So∣lomon, Prov. 16.8. is a little with Righte∣ousness, than great Revenues without Right.

Thus I have shewed you what are the principal Duties you owe to the Souls and Bodies of your Children, and what you are to do for them as to their outward Estate.

Notes

• * 1.1

  1. Duty, to chuse a fit Tr•…•… them.
• * 1.2

  2. Duty, about disposing of them in Marriage.
• * 1.3

  3. Duty, about providing some∣what that may be the foundation of their comfor∣table subsistance in the World.