The English Spira being a fearful example of an apostate who had been a preacher many years and then apostatized from his religion, miserably hanged himself, October the 13th, 1684 : giving an account of his dispair, and divers conferences had with him, by several ministers and others of his friends : together with his answer, and papers written by his own hand / left attested by Mr. T. Plant, Mr. H. Collings, Mr. B. Dennis, Mr. B. Keach.

The substance of another Conference between Mr. John Child and Mr. H. D. Mr. E. M. Mr. F. and Mr. J. B.

Mr. D.

HOW is it with you, Sir?

Mr. Child.

I am in great confusion and disorder in my Spirit—I have sinned against so much Grace, that I am with∣out hopes of receiving mercy.

Company.

If your trouble is in respect of the Book which you have written, whereby you have done so much injury to the suf∣fering People of God, the best way we can advise you to, is to free your Conscience from guilt, will be to make your Repentance and Recantation as publick as your sin is, Jo. 7.19.

Mr. Child.

I must confess I stand greatly indebted to the Publick, but I am so confused in my mind, that when I think of doing it, I can do nothing.—There are three things which are a burden to me; my sin against God, which is impardonable; my sin against God's People; and another thing—

Company.

What is that other?

To which he made no Answer.

Company.

Do you think that impardonable sin you mentioned, is the sin against the Holy Ghost?

Mr. Child.

I cannot tell.

Company.

Was what you did, done maliciously against God, Christ and the holy Spirit, and God's People?

Mr. Child.

No.

Company.

Then it may comfortably be concluded, you have not sinned that sin, and therefore you may take encouragement from the comfortable words of Christ, viz. that all other sins and blasphe∣mies may be forgiven you, (quoting many proper Scriptures:) Consider the instances of David, Manasseh, Peter, Paul, and the Jews who were guilty of crucifying our Saviour, and imprecated the guilt of his Bloud upon their Children, to whom yet our Saviour in his rich mercy commands his Disciples first to preach the Gospel. Is your condition worse than theirs?

Company.

It may be your Endeavours heretofore, too much to advance Free-will, and the power of the Creature, may be one rea∣son why the Lord hath permitted you thus to fall.

Mr. Child.

You have hit it, Sir; I once thought there was a power in man, but now I find it otherwise, for I cannot pray; the Lord hath taken away the gift of Prayer from me—I have no desire after any thing that is good. I cannot repent.

Company.

Christ is exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour to give repentance and remission of sins.—Shall we now pray for you?

Mr. Child.

Yes.

Then one of the Company prayed, and upon parting, Mr. Child thanked them for their Visit, and said to this effect:—All this will make against me.