Divine contemplations, and spiritual breathings of Mr. Henry Dorney

Do not say (O grumbling Unbe∣lief)* 1.1 that these are nothing but compi∣led words of Humane Invention: I tell thee, as far as they are only my invention, I do loath

them: but the Spirit of God doth witness with my Spirit, that amongst these words there hath been some hunger after God, some awe of his Presence, some love to be his devoted Servant, some prizing of the excellency of a pure Life of Faith, some holy Convictions of the importance and necessity (at least) of such an attempt as this, to bring God and my Soul nearer together.

And therefore, though there is much chaffiness of a dead heart, yet I cannot gratifie my doubts and unbelief so far as to conclude there is no Wheat in the heap; and I refer my self desirously and willing∣ly to the heart-knowing Eye of him who has his Fan in his hand, to blow away all the Chaff from my thoughts and words, and to create in me a clean heart, and pure language also, and to gather what there is of secret panting after him into his own Gar∣ner, and put my inward groanings after him, how weak and faint soever, into his Bottle: and there∣fore I must (and by his help will) praise him for any Crumbs that fall from his Table, and that I have any Stomach to eat them, and any desire after larger Morsels.

My Redeemer is bountiful; his Breasts are full, and will not suffer a hungry Child to draw nothing but Wind. I remember well what he said to the Wo∣man of Samaria; If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink, thou wouldst have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water. I have asked of him, and have had his favour to wait on him now several days together; and will he return my Bucket altoge∣ther empty? This is not his custom. The King∣dom of God is like Seed sown, which springs up and grows with an insensible motion, and yet a

growing motion, Mark 4. 26, 27. He proceeds in the method of his own Word; in which Word he saith, Seek and ye shall find, for every one that seek∣eth findeth; and shall I say, my Seekings are lost? My Way is not hid from God when his Path is hid from me; he hath said, They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength, which I have obliged my self to do: and therefore, though he humble me to preserve a watchful Appetite, and to prevent some unhealthy Surfeit, which he can discern in my Con∣stitution, growing upon me, better than I, yet I know I shall not return ashamed, but be kept in the more wakeful pursuits after him; and while I follow him, I am with him in my desire; and if I desire him, he desires me, and there we meet, Cant. 7. 10.) in the Communion of desires, till the sha∣dows flee away. A Sluggard indeed, desireth, and hath not, because his hands refuse to labour, Prov. 21, 25. but a laborious desire after Christ enjoys him in the eye of Faith, and Scripture-evidence, Rev. 21. 6. and 22. 17. Joh. 7. 38. and therefore in the patience and faith of the Scriptures I have hope. And what though some outward disadvantage has been occasi∣oned (which yet I know not of) by this Retire∣ment to seek him, who knows my Soul loveth him, will not he some way or other repay that loss, and heal that breach? O Lord, pardon, pity and care for him who, in love to thy self, and thy holy Will, desires to seek the Kingdom of God first, &c.

Notes

• * 1.1

  The Soul chides Ʋnbelief.