A companion to the temple and closet, or, A help to publick and private devotion in an essay upon the daily offices of the church.

A Meditation Preparatory to Prayer in the fears of Gods Anger.

OH my soul, what fearful tremblings are these have seized on thee, so that the thoughts of God that have been and ought to be thy greatest comfort, are now become thy terrour and amazement! Whence is this miserable alteration, that thou canst behold nothing but Judgment in the Father of Mercies, and Anger in the Fountain of Love? What hath provoked him that de∣lights to spare to be resolved to punish? Surely my sins are very many, for it is not a few can incense him, and they have more then ordinary aggravations: for he is not so highly displeased at small offences, and certainly I have often committed them, and long continued in them, for he begins not to frown upon the first misdemeanor: Alas, the case is too apparent! My sins are both very many and exceeding great, frequently repeated and of long continuance. I have despised Mercy, and now I am likely to feel Judgment. Miserable wretch that I am, I have tyred out the patience of a long-suffering Father, and run from the embraces of a loving Saviour, rejected the offers of a most indulgent holy Spirit, so that now I fear I have stopped up the fountain of his Mercy(t) 1.1 and unsealed the treasures of his vengeance(u) 1.2. And I ought rather to wonder how God could spare me so long, then why he should strike me now, since many have been cut off for fewer and lesser sins: I see I have most justly deserved to suffer the worst of evils, and therefore should esteem it an in∣comparable favour to be onely corrected with a tempo∣ral affliction, if I might be so excused: But it is a fear∣ful thing to fall into the hands of the living God(x) 1.3, who I fear will be∣gin by these and increase them, till I be ruined by them, and drop into a sad eternity. Therefore, O Lord, my flesh trembleth for fear of thee,

and I am afraid of thy Judgments(y) 1.4. I know no way to escape them. To deny my sins were impudence, to excuse them will be apparent hypocrisie. To be conceal∣ed is impossible, to be found intollerable, I am miserably confounded. But was never any in this case before, that I might receive some advise and comfort for them? Yes surely, The Church hath here presented me with a King and a Prophet, both dear to God, whose fears were great∣er, though their sins were less, and their danger not so great as mine; yet these in the midst of their fears con∣sidered their sins as the onely cause of these evils, and accordingly, they freely confessed them, bitterly la∣mented, and exceedingly humbled themselves for them; not striving so much to avoid the Punishment, as to ob∣tain the pardon of their sins, knowing that the guilt once removed, thou wouldst either totally spare them, or gently chastise them for their good. Wherefore they rendred themselves up into thy hands, rather aggravating then extenuating their offences, and yet humbly begging their correction might be in mercy, and they found the benefit of it. Go to then my soul, and do thou likewise; thou hast first occasioned Gods wrath by thy breaches of his laws, oh do not encrease it by dishonouring his Name with excessive fears! thou hast forsaken him by sin, run not farther by despair; for the faster thou run∣nest from his Mercy, the sooner thou wilt meet with his Justice. Delay no longer, but go in before he send for thee, deliver up thy self before death or any sore judgment arrest thee; accuse thy self before thou be in∣dited, and confess thy sins freely before the witnesses be called out against thee; pass sentence on thy self e're the Judge condemn thee. I cannot expect wholly to escape, but it will be a great favour if I meet a sickness instead of death; losses in my estate, instead of loosing both my God and my Soul for ever. It is not fit to desire my heavenly Father altogether to lay aside his Rod, but only to use it gently that I may by this smart be warned against those future sins that bring me to utter and final ruine; Oh Lord, rather chastise me then disinherit me,

me, and those stripes shall be welcome which come in exchange for eternal torments. Thou who wilt change thy Sword into a Rod, wilt be so compassionate in thy in∣flictions, that I shall onely feel what my distempered soul needs to recover, and my flesh and spirit can bear not what my sins deserve, and thy Justice might exact: Wherefore I will no longer hide my sins, but by a hum∣ble and hearty confession declare that I hate them more then I fear to fall into thy merciful hands, and do hope hereafter I shall fear to offend, and then I shall be freed from these sad expectations of thy heavy wrath, which wisdom God grant me for Jesus sake. Amen.

§. 4. NOt much unlike this, is the case of the poor doubting soul, who is discouraged from Confession by mis-giving thoughts, that God is become utterly irreconcileable, and hence they conclude it need∣less to repent, because they believe the recovery of his favour to be impossible, and truly so it is if we think it so to be; because while we look upon it to be impossible we can ne∣ver seek after it(z) 1.5, but (if we ob∣serve) it is the design of Satan to make us to think so, that we might never obtain it nor attempt it: Wherefore to rescue these poor souls from so dangerous a delusion, and to prepare them to ask a pardon in Faith, the Church hath selected three portions of Scri∣pture more: The first,(a) 1.6 To shew they are fitly disposed to ask by their contrition: The second,(b) 1.7 To demonstrate God is inclined to give notwithstanding their un∣worthiness. The third,(c) 1.8 To prove by a pertinent example they are likely to be received, if they will venture to come.

1. [Psalm. 51.17.] Let this dejected soul view holy David, after the Commission of his great sin; who be∣ing earnestly desirous (as you are) to be taken again

into favour by God, vers. 12. was surveying his flocks and all his sub∣stance(d) 1.9 to find some acceptable present to offer to God, resolving that nothing was too much nor too precious to procure a thing so excellent. But while he looks abroad he remembers, he hath some∣thing at home, a trembling broken heart which panted in his breast, and therefore here expressed by a word(e) 1.10 signifying waves dashed against a Rock: this broken spirit and contrite heart was the most acceptable offering in the world. Gods justice in condemn∣ing, his power in detaining, and his severity in execu∣ting the sentence of his wrath upon his Enemies was in his thoughts as a mighty Rock, against which these thoughts had beat so long, that his heart was almost dashed to pieces with fear, and yet he knows its sighs and groans are pleasanter to God then the melody of the Chantings of the sons of Asaph. its pantings and breathings are perfumes sweeter then the cloud of In∣cense; its free Confessions and exposing it self to shame, make it an acceptable Heave-offering; its tears are a pre∣cious Drink-offering, and its flaming desires do make it more excellent then whole Burnt-offerings, and all the Sacrifices of the Temple. The sorrows of our hearts are far more prevalent then the fattest oxen of our stalls, or the fairest calves of our lips, neither of which with∣out contrition are respected by God(f) 1.11. The prayers and tears of sor∣rowful Hanna can fetch a greater and spedier blessing from heaven then the costly oblati∣ons of El••anah(g) 1.12. David is resol∣ved to offer this, for this he is sure God will not despise. Which word [not despise] is to meet with the fears of the contrite sinner, who because he knows his own heart so filthy, deceitful, and vile a thing, cannot believe but God will reject it, as he did the lame and the blind, the sick and maimed sacrifice under the Law. This is that you fear,

but he assures you he will not despise it: but there is more intended(h) 1.13, even that he, will accept it kindly, as when Christ saith, he will not cast them off who come to him; he means, he will lovingly entertain them: so here, 'tis certain God will not one∣ly not despise it, but will look upon it as the best and greatest gift, though it be from the hand of a Publican(i) 1.14, wherefore be not disheartned, for your fears shew you have this broken heart, offer that, and be as∣sured God will embrace it lovingly, treat it tenderly, and keep it safely.

Psalm 51.17.] I have nothing in this world so dear to me, but I would give it freely to purchase Gods favour; but though men be thus appeased, yet he must have something he likes better, and truly [the Sacrifices] most likely to be accepted [of God] who needs no out∣ward things, [are a broken spirit] which trembles at his Anger, and hateth it self for its sins, and is almost dashed to pieces betwixt fear and sorrow. Whoever therefore brings such [a broken and a contrite heart] let him think it never so vile, yet [O God thou] whose fa∣vour such alone desire [wilt not despise] nor reject but accept and embrace both it, and those that bring it.

2. If they shall further argue against themselves, that they deny not Gods gracious nature, but that they fear their iniquities have turned his love into hatred, his mercy into fury, and his kindness into indignation. Be∣hold in the next place, a free disco∣very of what God is to sinners(k) 1.15: for the Jews were then in captivity, but had so grievously offended, that Daniel who much de∣sired their restauration, scarce knew how to plead for them; till at last he finds an Argument in Gods gracious Nature; viz. That mercies and forgiveness (that is ma∣ny, nay infinite mercies and forgiveness for numberless sins) were Gods peculiar possession, a principal part of

his Name(l) 1.16 the chiefest of his At∣tributes, and inseparably annexed to his Essence, and therefore the sins of his creatures cannot make any change in God: Mer∣cy in the creatures is by communication from him, but he is the original and fountain, which is never dry: therefore Daniel confesseth they are sinners, but denies, that therefore it is impossible to hope for pardon for their evil doings; could not rifle his treasures, nor rob him of his Attributes, nor alter his Nature. That continues the same still, and therefore there is mercy to be had. He confesses them guilty of all sorts of sins; that is, sins of commission, and that even to an absolute rebelling, and forsaking of God, and apostacy from him(m) 1.17 by Idolatry; and then also Omission, and neglect of walk∣ing in Gods law, though they were taught and instructed in it; therefore they deserved no mercy: But God is the fountain of mercies still, and therefore there is yet hope: Other Translations gene∣rally read, not [though] but [because] we have sin∣ned, which is but a further illustration of the same sense; viz. We may see and be convinced that Mercy is Gods peculiar possession, because we have done such vile things; and yet he hath spared us, that we might by our humiliation give him occasion to forgive us; and this his pity in sparing, shews his intention of restoring us, and therefore should quicken us to address to him who hath it solely in his own power: Daniel will not go to the King of Babylon, not to the best nor greatest on the earth: No, Mercy is Gods, and so we have the better hope to ob∣tain it.

Dan. 9.9.] Why should we (because we have former∣ly sinned) remain hopeless of ever being received, since we know that [To the Lord] Jehovah, who is pe∣culiarly [our God] as inseparably annexed to his Es∣sence, and as his own proper possession [belongs mer∣cies] infinite [and forgivenesses] more then our sins can need: and since they are his, we hope we shall have them though we are unworthy; for [though we have]

sinned by breaking his laws, and [rebelled against him] by forsaking his Covenant [neither have we] done what he commanded us, nor [obeyed the voice of the Lord our God] who charged us by his servants [to walk in his laws] and tread in that plain and pleasant path [which he set before us] though all this be true, we are sorry for it, but will not despair, because God can yet restore us.

3. To enforce both the former, and encourage these humble souls whose desires are too big for their faith, here is a lively example of one(n) 1.18 whose condition was as misera∣ble, his faults as great, and his rece∣ption as unlikely as theirs can be. And yet he comes and speeds, that you may take example hereby, and do likewise. The example is that of the prodigal son, who had voluntarily forsaken his Fathers house, and carried away his full portion, which he wasted lavishly, and consumed in all manner of riot and excess, never think∣ing of nor regarding his father all the time of his mad∣ness, till extreme want had resto∣red him to the use of his Reason(o) 1.19, and put him into his wits again, and then he blames himself for lying still, either in his sin which is (lap∣sus animae) the fall of the soul, resolving to arise by re∣pentance, or else you may understand his lying along, or sitting on the ground, to be a po∣sture of sorrow(p) 1.20: But he sees he may sit disconsolate for ever, and be no nearer to his fathers house; wherefore he resolves to take courage and arise, and not sit alwaies bemoaning himself with a vain and ineffective grief, but repenting himself to return home: His father had not called him, nor had he any assurance he should be received; only he knew if he sate still he must starve, and if he were re∣pulsed, he could suffer no more. He comes not to make any apology, but to bring in accusation against himself, he hoped indeed that his offence could not unty the bands of that dear Relation, and therefore calls him Fa∣ther,

but confesseth he had forfeited the title of Son, and not onely broken the law of Nature, but of hea∣ven, that is of the God of heaven(q) 1.21, who expresly requireth this Obedience: He could have wished a return to his Fathers Table, but that were Presumption to expect, only he hopes he will not see him starve, and if he be set with the meanest servants, that will be prevented. But the Fa∣ther is readier to hear then the Son to desire, and what his unworthiness made him ashamed to ask, his Fathers Bounty made him willing to bestow: and he that scarce hoped to be admitted a servant, is once more owned as a dear son: This he found, and so shall they that follow his example.

Luke 15.18, 19.] Why do I sit still in my sin, vainly be∣moaning my folly while I am like to starve, surely I will take courage, and [I will arise] by repentance, and with prayer and supplication make haste [and go] by faith [to my Father] who can relieve me, and perhaps may have pity on me. For to move his bowels toward me, as soon as I see him, I will fall down [and will say unto him, Father] who didst beget me that am now so wretched. I here confess that [I have sinned] by my ungodly courses [against Heaven] and the God that dwells there [and before thee] being so ungrateful for all thy love, that I justly deserve to be disowned and left in my misery, for I have forfeited my relation, [and am no more worthy to be called thy Son] yet I hope thou wilt not let me perish, who feedest thy meanest ser∣vants.

Notes

• (t) 1.1

  Isai. 59.2.
• (u) 1.2

  Deut. 33.34.
• (x) 1.3

  Hebr. 10.31.
• (y) 1.4

  Psalm 119.120.
• (z) 1.5

  Postquam e∣nim adempta spes est lassus c••râ consertus stupet. Arnobius.
• (a) 1.6

  Psalm 51.17.
• (b) 1.7

  Daniel 9.9.
• (c) 1.8

  Luke 15.18, 19.
• (d) 1.9

  Micah 6.6, 7.
• (e) 1.10

  Heb. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 Fluctus ad scopulu•• allisos: ita signif. Psal. 94.5.
• (f) 1.11

  Matth. 15.9.
• (g) 1.12

  1 Sam. 1.13.
• (h) 1.13

  Minus dicitur & sub eo majus in∣telligitur: ut Johan. 6.37. & alibi.
• (i) 1.14

  Luke 18.
• (k) 1.15

  Dan. 9.9.
• (l) 1.16

  Exod. 34.6.
• (m) 1.17

  LXX. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉: ita Vulg. & Vat.
• (n) 1.18

  Luke 15.18, 19.
• (o) 1.19

  ver. 17. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 ad seipsum rediens.
• (p) 1.20

  Isa. 3.26.
• (q) 1.21

  Coelum pro Deo ponitur quoniam est ejus habitaculum. E∣lias. Tisb. Psal. 73.9.