Of wisdom three books / written originally in French by the Sieur de Charron ; with an account of the author, made English by George Stanhope ...

CHAP. XXXV. Remedies against Jealousie.

[unspec 1] THe only method of any Efficacy for avoiding this Passion, is to take care to deserve the advantage we desire. For Jealousie is little else at the bottom, but the distrust and mis∣giving

of ones own Mind; and an Argument, that we are con∣scious of our own want of merit. When the Emperour Aurelius was asked by his Wife Faustina, what he would do, if his Enemy Cassius should win the Field, his answer was, I do not serve the Gods so ill, that they should have such an Affliction in reserve for me. So they that partake of ano∣ther's Affection, and are tempted to any suspicion of losing it, will do well to silence such uneasie Suggestions, by tel∣ling themselves, The Regard I have for him is so sincere, that I dare be confident he will not rob me of a treasure I value so highly. An assurance of our own faithfulness, and de∣serving better usage, is the best pledge of our Friend's kind∣ness and fidelity to us in return.

[unspec 2] He that pursues a Prize virtuously, will be content, that others should seek it in the same way. For this does but serve to awaken, and illustrate, and exalt his worth. Weak∣ness only creates fear of Rivals, because this suspects, that when we come to have our merits laid in the balance with those of other Competitors, our Imperfections will be more distinctly seen, and we shall suffer by the Comparison. Whereas otherwise, if you take away Emulation, you eclipse the honour of Virtue, and quench the most powerful Incen∣tive to good and gallant actions.

[unspec 3] As to that particular kind of Jealousie between Married Persons; the Counsel expedient to be given on the Man's part seems to be this. That if any reproach happen to them from the disloyalty of their Wives, they should recollect, what great and renowned Fellow-sufferers they have had in this Calamity; who yet bore it with exemplary patience, and made no words of their Misfortune. Such were Lucul∣lus, Caesar, Pompey, Cato, Augustus, Antony, and a great many besides. But you will say, the World hath discovered your shame, and it is grown common talk. And pray, who is there, that the World does not talk of to their prejudice, more or less, whether they have any ground for such Dis∣course or no? How many Persons of Honour and Virtue have you your self heard branded with the infamous Title? If you make a bustle, and blaze abroad your Disgrace, the Ladies will only have the advantage of the better Jest. And the commonness of this Affliction one would think, should long ago have worn out all the uneasiness of it. But however, put the worst of the Case, that you are in reality the thing you suspect; yet how is this a just Calamity? it is no reflection upon your Virtue, or your Wisdom; the

World is most unreasonable and absurd in loading the inno∣cent Person with Infamy, and rendring that ridiculous, which is in no degree a Fault. But if they will proceed by wrong measures, your own breast should follow those that are right and equitable. Nay, even in respect of others, there is some remedy left still: For it is in your own power to render your Virtue so illustrious, that it shall stifle and swal∣low up this Misfortune; and make your name never menti∣oned, among Wise and Good Men at least, with one whit the less Esteem. They will cover your Infamy by their just Commendations, and curse the wicked occasion of it; who is so much the more profligate, and abandoned, despicable and detestable, for using a Good Man ill.

[unspec 4] As to the Women, they are not so easily satisfied, because their very Nature seems more disposed to Suspicion and Curiosity. But the best Advice I can give them, is to dis∣semble any apprehensions of this kind; which is the true and prudent Medium between two very vicious and foolish Extremes. The one, that silly tormenting of themselves, which devours their Spirits, destroys all their satisfaction, and flies out into transports of Fury and Rage. The other, that tame Negligence practised in the Indies, and some other Eastern Countries; where Wives use their utmost endeavours to advance the honour of their Husbands (which is there thought to consist in the number of Wives and Mistresses) or their satisfaction, or the increase of Posterity, by turning Bawds and Procurers. This is a piece of service, which I think they might very well be excused. But when all is done, the only cure for this Evil on both sides, is such an affectionate and discreet, such a modest and reserved Car∣riage, as shall minister no manner of occasion for calling the fidelity of either Party into question.