Of wisdom three books / written originally in French by the Sieur de Charron ; with an account of the author, made English by George Stanhope ...

CHAP. X. Of Flattery, Lying, and Dissimulation.

[unspec 1] FLattery is a most dangerous Poyson to all private Persons, that drink and suck it in. * 1.1 But as for Princes, it is al∣most the Only, the Universal Cause of their Ruin, and infi∣nitely fruitful in Mischiefs to their Subjects and Government in general, by betraying them to, and supporting them in their Tyranny and Male-Administration. It is a Thousand times worse than False-witness: That deceives and mis-leads the Judge, it draws a Sentence from him, wicked and un∣reasonable in it self; but not so with regard to Him; for his Will and Judgment are blameless: They proceed ac∣cording as Matters appear in Evidence; and so the Man preserves his Integrity still: But here the very Mind and Judgment is debauch'd; the Soul is charm'd and bewitch'd, made incapable of improving in the Knowledge of the Truth, and utterly averse from the Love of it. It is a Rank and spreading Evil; for if once a Prince be corrupt∣ed by Flattery, and fond of it, there is a necessity that all about him, who desire to be well in his Opinion, and hope to make their Fortunes by his Favour, should turn Flatterers. For Interest and Ambition will not fail to make Converts enough; and the Rule these govern themselves by, is to study and practise what they see agreeable, and likely to recommend them most to the good Graces of their Patron. Whatever can be said to shew the Excellence of Truth, all That proves the Baseness and Deformity of Flattery: They who esteem and adore the one, must in proportion despise and detest the other; which indeed is nothing else but the Corruption and Perverting of the Truth. It is a pitiful mean Vice, the Submission of a poor degenerate Spirit; an Effeminacy and Weakness, as unbecoming a Man, as Garishness, and Affected Confidence is to a Woman.

* 1.2Not Friends and faithless Flatterers differ more, Than a chast Woman, and a common Whore.

Upon this Account Flatterers are compar'd to Strumpets, to Sorcerers, Poysoners, Publick Cheats, Debauchers of Man∣kind; nay, to Wolves, and Foxes; and a wise Author de∣clares it better to fall among Birds of Prey, and be Crow's Meat, than come into the Hands of Flatterers.

[unspec 2] There are two Sorts of Persons, who lie open to Flatte∣ry; and as they never want sawning People, who are al∣ways ready to offer them this Trash; so they for the most part as greedily receive and swallow it. These are Prin∣ces, with whom these Hucksters get into Credit, and grow acceptable by this means; and the Ladies, who are so mar∣velously delighted with hearing well of themselves, that the most usual and successful Stratagem for corrupting their Virtue, is generally thought to be the entertaining them with their own Commendations.

[unspec 3] It is really very hard to avoid the Danger of Flattery, and so to arm and strengthen our Minds, that they shall be proof against all its Insinuations. 'Tis particularly so to Women, by reason of their natural Disposition, which by a Weakness almost universal to the Sex, inclines them to be fond of Vanity, and greedy of Praise. And it must needs be so to Princes; by reason their Relations, and Friends, and prime Ministers, such as they must of necessity hold constant conversation with, are all bred up to this Trade, and value themselves upon being expert and dextrous in it. Alexander, who was so great a Monarch, with all the Philosophy of his Tutor Aristotle to Arm him, could not stand against it. And, tho' we commonly pretend to lessen and condemn Kings for suffering themselves to be thus imposed upon, yet there is never an one of us all, but, if we were in Their Circumstances, and perpetually laid at by Parasites and Sy∣cophants, as They are, we should be a Thousand Times worse than They. No Man of ordinary Condition can be a competent Judge in this case, because he cannot have any Thing like the Tryals and Temptations of an elevated Post. But, tho' Flattery, like Diseases, do not seize all Persons and Constitutions alike, yet contagious it is, and no Man lives utterly out of the reach of its venomous Infection. There is somewhat so agreeable, that even They who hate and seem most to reject it, conceive a secret Pleasure, and shut the Door against it so faintly, that after many preten∣ded Denyals, it is let in, and kindly entertain'd in private. That which adds to the danger is, that Men are tainted by it insensibly; for it is so cunningly varnish'd over, so

disguis'd with a Mask of Friendship, which it affects al∣ways to wear, that one cannot very easily distinguish between them. It usurps and invades all her good Of∣fices, puts on her Air and Countenance, calls it self by her Name, counterfeits her Voice; in short, observes the Tone, the Meen, the Readliness, the Zeal; so that you would swear it could be none but she. The Business of Flattery is to please, and be taking: It pays marvellous Respect and De∣ference, is very liberal in Praises, exceeding officious and eager to serve the Person apply'd to, and careful to be al∣ways in good Humour; or indeed in any Humour that prevails, and will be most agreeable at that time. Nay, to shew how exquisite the Hypocrisie of this Vice is, it goes a great deal farther, and ventures upon the last and highest, the severest and most dangerous Act of Friendship, and is free and full in its Expostulations and Reproofs. In own Word, the Flatterer's Care is always to profess and make himself believ'd much more sincere and passionate in his Affection and Concern for the Person whom he addresses to, than he is or can be to Him in return. But all these boasting and pompous Pretensions notwithstanding, there is not in the World any thing more destructive of true Friend∣ship: Ill Language, Affronts, open and avowed Enmity, are not in reality greater Contradictions, how different soever they are in Figure and outward Shew. It is the very Bane of all Sincerity and true Love; they are irreconcilable, and cannot dwell together.* 1.3 When once I am your Friend, I cease to Flatter; and when I begin to Flatter, from that very instant you may conclude me none of your Friend. And therefore that Observation is most true,† 1.4 That the Wounds and Strokes of a Friend are better and more desi∣rable, than the Kisses of a Flatterer. Those, tho' we feel some Pain in them, are yet well intended, and may contri∣bute to our Benefit and Amendment. These are soft and smooth, but full of Treachery and Mischief; and the End of all those kind Caresses, is to keep us un∣acquainted with our selves, and so to lead us hoodwink'd in∣to Ruin.

[unspec 4] Since therefore it so highly concerns us not to be mista∣ken upon this Occasion, and since the knowing these two so very contrary Qualities asunder, is no such obvious and

easie Matter; I shall endeavour to draw off the Vizor; and draw, if not the whole Face, yet so many of the Features and principal Lines of it, as that by these Strokes my Reader may be able to distinguish Flattery and Friendship from each other.

• 1. First, Flattery is always follow'd close at the Heels by private Interest and Advantage: This is the Scent it follows, and you may know it by the manner of Hunt∣ing, and the Game it pursues: But a Friend is generous, and undesigning; hath no By-Ends, nor is Self at the bottom of what he does continually.
• 2. A Flatterer is perpetually veering and changeable in his Judgment and Opinion of Things; like a Looking-Glass, that readily reflects all Faces, or Wax prepar'd to receive any manner of Impressions. He is a Camelion, a Polypus, never of one Colour and Complexion, longer than you determine and encourage him to it. If you appear to commend and love a Man, he admires and exalts him to the Skies; pretend Dislike, or Resentment, or Aversion, He tacks about streight, and is in with you There too; he censures, condemns, aggravates, as he finds You stand affected: For You are the Principal, the Substance, the Original; and He your Image, your Representation, the Shadow, the Copy, the constant Attendant and Mimick of all you are, and say, and do; affecting every Motion, and putting on every Shape, as he sees his Pattern alter. Whereas a Friend is firm, and uniform, and consistent with himself; For Truth and Reason are the Compass he steers by, and these are fix'd and unchangeable.
• 3. Another Mark to distinguish him by, is his Carriage; which is always eager, and officious to a great excess; and especially in such things as he is sensible will be observ'd, or otherwise like to come to the Knowledge of the Person he addresses to; and, as in all other respects, so is he particularly forward in his Commendations, in proffering his Service and doing every little thing that may look like Deference and Zeal. In all his Behaviour there is nothing of Steadi∣ness or Moderation; and yet, as fair a Shew as all this makes outwardly to the World, there is not any solid Bot∣tom, not one Grain of cordial Affection within. Now a Friend is the very Reverse of all This; an Enemy to Osten∣tation and large Pretences; and content, that the Sincerity of his Kindness should prove it self by solid and substantial Testimonies: Not at all the less disposed to act as becomes

• his Character, tho' he were sure that he should never be ta∣ken notice of, or thank'd for it: And therefore the Inte∣grity of his Heart and Intentions, often puts him upon stu∣dying secret ways of obliging; and, provided his own Duty be done, and his Conscience satisfy'd, he can very well abate the publishing his Endeavours to serve his Friend.
• 4. The Flatterer constantly yields the Prize to his Pa∣tron, declares him in the Right in all he says, applauds his Prudence in all he does, and this without any other De∣sign, but only to please, and render himself agreeable. Hence it is, that he over-shoots the Mark so much, com∣mending All without Distinction, and All extravagantly and in excess. Nay sometimes he will not grudge to do it at his own expence, and to lessen his own Desert, that he may magnisie his Patron's. Like Wrestlers, that stoop and bend, only to shew the Cunning of their Play, and mend their Hold; that so they may gain the Advantage of throwing the Adversary a fairer Fall. Now a Friend goes to work plainly and bluntly; Preference and Esteem are of small Consideration with Him; nor is his Design so much to please and minister Delight, as to bring substantial Prosit, and to do much Good; and what way this is done is of little concern to him; he is not nice and scrupulous in the Choice of Methods; but, like a good Physician, consi∣ders the Case and the Necessities of his Patient; and pre∣pares his sharp and painful, or his gentler Remedies, not according as they sute the Palate, but the Exigencies of his Friend. Recovery and Amendment is his End and Business, and all things else are indifferent to him, except so far as they may prove subservient to this Great Design.
• 5. Sometimes he will needs take upon him to rebuke his Friend, but he does it so very aukwardly, that a Man may easily discern This to be only a Copy of his Countenance; and that at the same time he puts on the Hardiness of a Friend, his chief Care is not to incur Displeasure by hand∣ling Matters too roughly. To this purpose he will be sure to six upon light and trivial Faults only, or some very excusable Defect, pretending himself blind all the while to those that are grosser, and much more obnoxious to Censure and Reproach. He will express himself with great Severi∣ty and Bitterness against Relations, or Acquaintance, or Servants, as if They were wanting in the Diligence and Respects due from them. Or else he will introduce the Li∣berty

• he takes with a Pretence of some idle Stories he hath heard, and profess great Sollicitude to be inform'd of the Truth from his own Mouth, that so he may be ca∣pable of doing him Service in a just Vindication of his Innocence. And, when his Patron either denies the Fact, or excuses himself, he will not fail to catch at this Op∣portunity of exspatiating in his Praise,

  I confess, Sir, says he, this was a wonderful Surprise to me, and what I could not prevail with my self to give Credit to. I was satisfied I knew you better; for how is it possible you should be guilty of any such Thing? I told your Enemies who taxed you with Injustice, that they, must pardon me, if I was peremptory to the Contrary. For who could imagine that you should invade another's Right, who are so far from insisting Rigorously upon your own? One, who to my Knowledge is so Gene∣rous, so Bountiful, so Charitable, could never, you may be sure, pass upon me for a griping or covetous Man. Such Jealousies, I said, might find Entertainment with Strangers, but with me, who have the Honour to be so well acquainted with your Virtues, they would all go for nothing.

  Or else he takes Occasion to chide him kindly, for having no more Care of himself, and exposing that Person so much, which is of such infinite Importance to the Publick; as one of the Senators particularly is said to have curried Favour with Tiberius, in a full Se∣nate, after a very nauseous and fulsome manner of Com∣plementing.
• 6. In a Word; I shall need to add but this One Mark of Distinction more. A true Friend always regards, and advises, and promotes that which is agreable to Reason, and Duty; he consults the Character and Circumstances of the Person; and observes what is sittest and most be∣coming; but the Flatterer spies out a blind Side, and strikes in with Pleasure, and Interest, and Inclination. So that no Man is so proper an Instrument for corrupting Mens Principles, and soothing them in all manner of Ex∣travagance and Vice: None so improper for the putting forward any thing of Virtue, or Difficulty; or Danger. Indeed he is like an Ape, that serves to none of those ne∣cessary Uses which other Creatures are assisting to us in; but seems cut out merely for the Jest and Diversion of Mankind.

[unspec 5] To this Vice of Flattery, That of Lying is very near of Kin,* 1.5 and usually goes along with it: And This is likewise of the same infamous Quality; a mean, and dishonoura∣ble, and rascally Vice. For what can be more Despica∣ble and Base, than for a Man to speak contrary to his own Knowledge and Sense of Things? The first and bold∣est Step toward the Corruption of Manners, is the banishing Truth out of our Discourse; as on the Contrary, the Courage and Resolution to be true, is, according to Pin∣dar's Account of it, the Beginning and Foundation of a Brave and Eminent Virtue. But, besides the Despicable∣ness of this Vice in it self, it is likewise highly Destructive to Humane Society. For we cease to be Men, and are loose from all the mutual Tyes, and Securities possible to be had upon one another, when mutual Confidence, and Truth, the only ground of it, is lost. Speech indeed is rightly said to capacitate Mankind for Society; but if once That be abused to Falshood and Deceit, Silence is a Thousand times the more sociable Quality of the Two. If a Lye indeed were constant to it self, and wore but one Face, as Truth does, then there would be some Hopes at least, and the Mischief were more tolerable; for we might depend upon it, that the direct Contrary of what the Lyar says is True. But alas! it is our Misfortune, that the Reverse of Truth hath a Hundred Thousand se∣veral Shapes, and the Space it ranges in is Infinite. Good, (that is, Virtue and Truth) is certain and circumscribed, staked down to One single Spot, and fixed beyond the Power of Variation, as there can be but One Way to hit the Mark. But Evil, (that is, Vice and Errour) is Infinite and Uncertain, and there are a Thousand Ways to shoot beside the Mark: For short or beyond, too high or too low, on this or on that Side, all are wide of the Matter. Without all Doubt could Mankind be made duly sensible of the Horror, and mischievous Consequences of Lying, they would be so far from practising or giving the least Countenance to such Wickedness, that they would set them∣selves to drive it out of the World with Fire and Sword; and think no Punishments too severe, no Methods too cruel for the utter Extermination of it. And This is a good Hint to those, who make the Education of Youth their Care, with what Vigilance the very first Tendencies to this Evil ought to be observed, and the Growth of it prevent∣ed and opposed. This should be their first Business, and

the Checking of a positive and obstinate Humor their next; and both these should be taken down betimes; for otherwise the Corruption of Nature will be beforehand with us; and it is scarce to be conceived indeed, how very early such rank Weeds spring, and how prodigiously they shoor, if not nipt in the Bud.

[unspec 6] But Men may be guilty of Lying in their Actions, as well as in their Discourse;* 1.6 for what else is all that Hypo∣crisie and Dissimulation, so generally practised in the World? This, I confess, is represented as an Accomplishment, and hath obtain'd the Character and Reputation of Complaisance and good Breeding. But yet, let the Men of refined Manners say what they will, it is in reality a Blemish and Dishonour, a mean Submission, and base Degeneracy of Soul, for a Man to appear abroad always in Disguise. To walk with a Mask, and not dare to shew his Face to the World. Let Men talk of Honour as long as they will, Honour can never be consistent with Dissimulation; and He that is an Hypocrite is certainly the greatest Coward, the most abject Slave.

[unspec 7] Now, whoever he be, that sets up this Trade, he will find enough to do to maintain his Credit, or his Ease by it. For a Hypocrite is under perpetual Constraint. And what a Torment must it needs be, for a Man always to appear Different from what he is really, and in his own Nature? What a constant Eye must he have upon every Word, and Action, what Jealousies of all he converses with, what anxious Fears of being discover'd and exposed? The Difficulty and Disquiet of concealing one's Temper, is a perfect Hell upon Earth; and the being found out is an intolerable Confusion and Reproach. If there be such a Thing as perfect Ease and Pleasure attainable here below, it is certainly to be found only in a Freedom and Openness, and Security of Mind and Conversation. And a Man had better let the World see the Worst of him, though he Hap∣pen to be something less in their Esteem for his plain downright Behaviour; than be always straining to coun∣terfeit some good Qualities which he hath not, or to keep some ill one's out of Sight. So Amiable, so Noble is this Frankness of Temper, that even Reputation it self, as valuable as it is, cannot make sufficient Reparation for the parting with it.

But, besides that this is a difficult and laborious Trade, it is a poor and paltry One; for most Men Break of it in

a very little while. Dissimulation cannot go very sat; It will be discovered at one time or other, and leave those that depend upon it, in the Lurch. It is a common Ob∣servation, and daily Experince proves it to be as true as it is common, that Nothing which is either Violent or Counterfeit continues long. Herein, Art and Force differ from Nature, that They decay by Time, and This im∣proves by it. And, when once such Men are detected, all they get by it is, never to be trusted afterwards; to have no Stress laid upon what they Do, nor any Credit given to what they Say. Nay, Truth it self suffers by this means, and can gain no reception, when it comes out of their Mouths. And how Despicable a Wretch is That, whose Authority is lost, and whose Example goes for nothing; whose whole Life is look'd upon as one continued Banter; and his most serious Actions are thought to smell so rank of Trick and Design, that they only serve to awaken Mens Suspicion, and warn them to be more upon their Guard?

[unspec 9] Now, this is a Case capable of being misunderstood, and misapply'd; and therefore, as there is some room left for, so indeed there is great need of Prudence and Mo∣deration, to prevent an Errour in the other Extreme. For if a Man's Disposition be crooked and deform'd; if there be any thing vicious and offensive to the World; this ought certainly to be kept in; or, to speak more properly, be brought into Shape: For there is a vast Dif∣ference between living easie and unconstrained; and being rude, and slovenly, and careless in our Behaviour. We should not take Pains to impose upon those we converse with; but we are not therefore bound to turn their Sto∣machs. A Man should not tell a Lye; but he is not oblig'd to tell all the Truth neither. That then, which we are to take Care of in this Point, is, to speak as much as is convenient, and to be sure that all we do speak be True; To distinguish between Twatling and Openness in Conversation; and in Behaviour between a Freedom consistent with Sincerity and Good Manners; and a Morose Indifference, which breaks through all Reserves, and declares War with all Decency and Re∣spect.

[unspec 10] There are indeed Two sorts of People, in whom Hy∣pocrisie is in some Degree excusable; I might say indeed, Necessary and Becoming; but the Reasons which vindi∣cate and uphold them in it, are very different from each

other. The First are Princes, who, as I have observed before, may sometimes be obliged to dissemble upon very important Considerations. The Publick Good, the Safety of their Persons, the Peace of the Government may require it; all these might be ruined and lost, if the Counsels and Methods that support them, were carried so openly, that every Stander by could see through, and pe∣netrate into the bottom of the Governour's Designs. And therefore, taking the Condition of the World as it now stands, so full of Treachery and Villany; it is no Dero∣gation to Justice or Religion to say, that Princes may be allowed some Measures in their Publick Character, which neither They, nor any other Man, is privileged to take in his private one. Would all their Subjects be Faithful and do their Duty, then indeed the Rules of Political, and Private Virtue would be the same; but now Men must be governed, not according to what they should be, but to what they actually are. And, as Laws, when made for the Reformation of Vice, suppose the worst of Men; so the Administrators of those Laws, must by their Wariness and Wisdom provide against the Worst.

The Second sort of Dissimulation in some Degree al∣lowable, is in Women; and the Reason that enforces it, is Decency, and the Gracefulness of Modesty and Reserve, in Their Sex more especially: For what would be inter∣preted Freedom and Assuredness in a Man, would in one of them be condemned for Impudence. And therefore the little Disguises in their Carriage and Looks, the making up their Mouth, and affected Ignorances, look pretty enough; and have a becoming Air of Bashfulness and Innocence: And besides, These do no manner of hurt; for they pass for Things of Course, and no body but Fools and Men ut∣terly unacquainted with the World, can ever be imposed upon by them. But This is a Trouble I might have spared my self; for the Sex are so naturally addicted to Hypo∣crisie, that it is very needless to recommend, or to instruct them in it. They are indeed a fair Outside all over; their Faces, their Cloths, their Talk, their Looks, their Smiles, their Tears, have all but too much of Art in them; and are contrived to make a Shew: Nay, which is still Worse, they do not only dissemble with the Living, but with the Dead too; The Long Veil, and the Dark Room; the Bed so many Days, and the Chamber so many Weeks; what are these but the Pomp and Pretence of Sorrow.

Appearances which all indifferently are obliged to make, whe∣ther for good or bad Husbands, in point of Decency, for∣sooth, and conformity to Custom; when yet there is so little at the Bottom of this composed Formality, and the Farce is so very Gross, that many of these disconsolate Widows have much ado to hold their Countenances. It was observ'd long since, that* 1.7 Counterfeit Grief is always most Ambitious to shew it self; and a Man would almost be tempted to suspect, that all those Solemn Fopperies, a∣bove the Reasonable and comely Expressions of Grief, were invented to make out in Ostenation, what was wam∣ing in the Reality of their Concern.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Flattery.
• * 1.2

  Ut Matrona Meritrici dispar erit, atque Discolor, infido Scurrae distabit Amicus.

  Horat. Lib. XVIII.
• * 1.3

  Non potes me simul Amico & Adulatore uti.
• † 1.4

  Meliora vulnera diligentis, quàm oscula blandientis.
• * 1.5

  Lying.
• * 1.6

  Hypocrisie.
• * 1.7

  Jactantiùs moerent quae minus dolent.