Cambridge jests, or, Witty alarums for melancholy spirits by a lover of ha, ha, he.

191.

A Gentlewoman and her Maid being to ••et up some Cloaths against Christmass day, had so delayed the time to the very live, that she her self, her Maid, and a hired Washerwoman, were all little e∣nough to dispatch them. On the Eve therefore, betimes in the morning, they ••ell to work; and at Breakfast, Here, says the Mistriss to her Maid, fetch a Quart of Ale. Why Mistriss if you please, said the Washerwoman, I will j••yn my penny, and we may have three pints. And I will joyn mine too, if you please, said the Maid, and we will have two Quarts. Well then, said the Mistriss, bring three Quarts; we shall work the better: so there's my Groat. Then fell these three jolly Washerwomen

to tost it and tipple it so long, till it lay raw upon their Stomachs forsooth; and then it came in the Maids head, that a little Brandy would do very well to take away that rawness; and therefore offer∣ed her penny towards it: the hired Wo∣man was right, and offered hers. And here's my two pence, said the Mistriss. Oh, said the Maid, here is a penny too much, what shall we do? Why you and I, said the Washerman, will put our pence a pitt•• more, and we may have half a pint. This they fell to the Brandy, and at last truly the Mistriss found her self very sleepy, and would needs go lie on the Bed to take a little nap to refresh her self; the Maid something drowsie, followed after: and the poor Woman in the Kitchin, taking the advantage, stretcht her self out by the fire. Thus they lay fast till next morn∣ing, when the Maid awaking, rose and found the Woman sleeping in the Kitchin and the fire out; then running to her Neighbours to light some Charcoal, to kindle the fire, least her Mistriss should be angry; she found there the Roast Beef on the Spit, and great preparations for ••omething extraordinary. So she asked the Maid who dined with them that

day, that they made such great provision? Why, said she, 'tis Christmass-day. The Maid astonished, ran to acquaint her Mistriss, yet could scarce perswade her of the truth, till the Bell toled to Church and took away their doubting.