of Christ; it is attended with agonies, and soul-conflicts, both before, and after our conversion.
1. Before conversion, before the first wound be given it, why then ordinarily there is some compunction of Spirit, some pricking of heart; what a case do we find the Jews in, when after Peters Sermon, they were pricked at their hearts? and what an agony do we find the Jailor in, when he came trembling in, and falling down at the Apostles feet, and crying out, Sirs, What shall I do to be saved? With such agonies as these, is the beginning of mortification usually attended; I do not say that they are alike in all, whether for degree or continuance; but in ordinary, true and sound conversion is not without some of these soul-conflicts.
2. After conversion, after the first round there are some agonies still; for though a Believer be delivered of sin in respect of the guilt, and reigning power; yet he hath still some remainders of sinful Corruption left within him, which draw many a groan, and many a sign from his trembling heart; we also have the first-fruits of the spi∣rit, even we our selves groan within our selves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the Re∣demption of our bodies: such are the groans of mortifying Saints, Saints dying unto sin like the groans of dying men, whose souls being weary of their bodies, do earnestly desire a dissolution: and thus Paul groaned, when he said, O wretched man that I am, who shall deliver me from the body this death?
Oh what a Touchstone is this? how will ihis discover true mortification from that which was counterfeit? Some may think they are dead unto sin, when in deed and in truth they are not dead, but asleep unto sin; and it appears by this, because there were no pangs in their death, you know this is a difference betwixt death and sleep; there are pangs in the one, but not in the other: O my soul, examine, what pangs were there in thy death unto sin? what agonies, what soul-conflicts hast thou felt? what compunction of heart, what affliction of Spirit, hast thou endured for sin? what trou∣ble hast thou had to find such a law in thy members rebelling against the law in thy mind, and bringing thee into captivity to the Law of sin? why surely thou art not so mortified, as to be freed wholly from the power of sin; it may be, it doth not rule in thee as a Prince, yet certainly it tyrannizeth over thee, it oft-times carries thee contrary to the bent of thy regenerate mind, to the omittting of what thou wouldst do, and to the committing of what thou wouldst not do; and is not this an affliction of Spirit? doth not this cause frequent conflicts in thy spirit? if not, thou mayest well suspect that sin is not dead, but asleep; or if it be dead to thee, yet thou art not dead to it, I confess, death-pangs are not all alike in all; some have a more gentle, and others a more painful death; so it is in this Spiritual death unto sin; and that herein there may be no mistake, I shall propound this question: What is the least measure of these pangs, these soul-agonies, and conflicts, that are necessarily required to true mortification? I an∣swer,—
1. There must be a sense of sin, and of Gods wrath due unto sin; such a sense we find in Jesus Christ; he was very sensible of the weight and burden of those sins, and of the wrath of God that lay upon him; which made him cry out, My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me? thus souls in the act of Mortification, sometimes cry out, O my sins! and Oh God's wrath!
2 There must be sorrow for Sin. Such an affection we find also in Jesus Christ: My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death; 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, he was beset and surrounded with sorrows; so every mortified sinner, at one time or other, he feels an inward sorrow and grief; even that Godly sorrow which the Apostle speakes of, a sorrow accord∣ing to God; (i. e,) coming from God, well-pleasing to God, and bringing to God back again.
3. There must be a desire of being freed and delivered from sin: such a desire we find also in Jesus Christ; I have a Baptism to be Baptised with, and how am I straitned until it be accomplished? A regenerate soul earnestly desires to be freed, not only from the guilt, but also from the power of sin, O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me? &c,
4. There must be answerable endeavours in effectual strivings against sin; Ye have not resisted unto blood, striving against sin. How did our Saviour wrestle in the Garden, offering up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears? so will a regenerate soul wrestle with God about t•••• death of sin, praying, watching, going out in the strength of God, and engaging in a continual war, a deadly fewd against it, and these are the least