A guide to godlynesse or a Treatise of a Christian life shewing the duties wherein it consisteth, the helpes inabling & the reasons parswading vnto it ye impediments hindering ye practise of it, and the best meanes to remoue them whereunto are added diuers prayers and a treatise of carnall securitie by Iohn Douname Batcheler in Diuinitie and minister of Gods Word.

CAP. XXVIII.

Of Christian conferences, which we must vse when we are in company, for our mutuall good.

§. Sect. 1 That our spee∣ches must bee gracious and prudent.

AND these are the duties which generally concerne our whole conuersation in company. The speciall duties respect either our words and conferences, or our workes and acti∣ons; In all our conferences with our brethren wee are to ob∣serue two things. First, that our speech bee gracious. Se∣condly, that it be wise and prudent. Both which are required by the Apo∣stle; Let your speech (saith he) be alwayes with grace, seasoned with salt, that * 1.1 is, wisely fitted to the time, persons, occasions, and other circumstances, and vttered prudently in due season. Our speech is gracious, when it sa∣uoureth of grace and goodnesse, and appeareth to proceed from the Spi∣rit of God dwelling in vs, as though he vsed our tongues to deliuer by them that which hee suggesteth and inspireth into vs; whereby it becommeth gracious and acceptable in the eares of God and all good men. And vnto

this there is required, that it be not onely gracious in it selfe, but also to all that heare vs. In it selfe it is gracious, when as it is either holy and about spirituall and heauenly things, points of diuinity, and religious matters, our saluation it selfe, or the meanes whereby we may attaine vnto it; Gods mercies and blessings multiplied vpon vs, or his iudgements and chastize∣ments inflicted for sinne, and such like; or else when as it is honest and ciuill, & about the things of this life, appertaining to our temporall profit, or our comfort and delight. Our speech is gracious to the hearers, when as it tendeth to their profit, either in respect of their soules, or bodies and states. It is profitable for their soules, when as it is referred to edification, and to the inriching of them with spirituall grace, and the strengthening and inabling them vnto all Christian and holy duties. Vnto which kinde of speech the Apostle exhorteth; Let (saith he) no corrupt communication * 1.2 proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good for the vse of edifying, that it may minister grace vnto the hearers. And againe, Comfort your selues toge∣ther, and edifie one another. The which dutie is diuersly performed; first, by instructing those which are ignorant in the knowledge of God and his truth, that so seeing the way of life and saluation, they may walke in it. In which, those especially faile, who like rich misers barrell and hoord vp the treasures of knowledge in their owne braines, but enuying their brethren * 1.3 the vse of it, will neuer communicate it in their conferences, nor let any be the wiser by their speeches that come into their company. Secondly, by informing erroneous iudgements, and reducing them out of their errours into the way of truth. The which, the Apostle Iames commendeth vnto vs as an excellent worke; Brethren (saith he) if any of you doe erre from the truth, and one conuert him; let him know, that he who conuerteth a sinner from * 1.4 the errour of his way, shall saue a soule from death, and shall hide a multitude of sinnes. Thirdly, by giuing good counsell vnto those that want it, and pru∣dent aduice how they shall carry themselues in all their courses, so as they may in all particular actions please God, and preserue the peace of a good conscience. Fourthly, by exhorting and pricking those forward whom we see sluggish and negligent, and to slacken their pace in the wayes of godli∣nesse; according to that of the Apostle; Exhort one another daily, whilest it is called to day, lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulnesse of sinne. * 1.5 Fifthly, by comforting those that want consolation, in respect of their af∣flictions, temporall or spirituall, inflicted vpon their body, mind, or state. So the Apostle exhorteth vs to comfort the feeble-minded, and to support the weake; And againe, Comfort your selues together, and edifie one another. And * 1.6 the Prophet Esay likewise, Strengthen yee the weake hands, and confirme the * 1.7 feeble knees. The which duty was performed by holy Iob, as Eliphaz testifi∣eth of him, Thou hast instructed many, and thou hast strengthened the weake hands: Thy words haue vpholden him that was falling, and thou hast streng∣thened * 1.8 the feeble knees. And is highly commended by the Prophet as a spe∣ciall * 1.9 gift of God; The Lord (saith he) hath giuen mee the tongue of the lear∣ned, that I should know how to speake a word in season to him that is weary.

§. Sect. 2 Of Christian admonition, and what is re∣quired to the right perfor∣ming of this duty.

Sixthly, by admonishing those who are ready to fall, that wee may vp∣hold them, and such as are already falne through ignorance, frailty, and infirmity, that wee may raise them vp againe. And this the Apostle requi∣reth;

Brethren (saith he) if any man be ouertaken in a fault, ye which are spiri∣tuall, restore such an one in the spirit of meekenesse, considering thy selfe, lest thou also be tempted. Vnto which dutie that it may be well performed, di∣uers things are required. First, wisedome and knowledge in him that ad∣monisheth. So the Apostle saith of the Romanes; that they were filled with * 1.10 all knowledge, and able to admonish one another. And first we must know, that the thing whereof we admonish our brother, be a sinne, and not either lawfull, or indifferent and rightly vsed of him. In which the Israelites fai∣led, when they sent to admonish the Reubenites about building the Altar, * 1.11 and Eli in admonishing Anna to put away her drunkennesse. Secondly, * 1.12 we must know, that being a sinne, it is indeed committed by our brother, either vpon that sure notice which our selues haue taken, or by the credi∣ble testimony of others who are men of credit; and not when wee haue a * 1.13 blinde iealousie or vngrounded suspition, nor when we haue heard it from busie-bodies and talebearers, who will not stand vnto any thing they say; vnlesse out of loue and tendernesse of his credit, wee speake of it to this end chiefly, that he may the better cleare himselfe of these false imputati∣ons, or that we may take occasion to admonish him if we finde them true. Thirdly, we must haue knowledge and wisedome to doe it after a right manner, with obseruation of all due cautions and circumstances. As first, we must make choyce of a seasonable time, not when our brethren are at their feasts, and desirous to be cheerefull and merry; not when they are cast downe with afflictions, the which themselues sufficiently admonish, vnlesse we see that they make no vse of them, nor are brought by them to a sight of their sinnes; but rather in their prosperity, when as they thriue in their euill courses. Not in the company of others, if the fault be secret, and not open and scandalous; in which case also Christian wisedome will finde priuate admonition best for many persons, who out of their great∣nesse and naturall pride, will burst out into rage and impatiencie, when as in company we take notice of their faults. Especially, we must take heed that we doe not admonish them of their faults, before those vnto whom they desire chiefly to bee approoued, and to maintaine their credit; for this will make them either to deny the fault, or to defend it, or to excuse and extenuate it; or if they can doe none of these, to burst out into chol∣ler, as holding themselues to be much disgraced. Neither is admonition seasonable towards others, when they haue begun first to admonish vs, be∣cause it will seeme to proceed, not from loue, but from spleene; not from any dislike of their faults, but too much liking of our owne; not out of a friendly liberty to doe them good by reclaiming them from their sinne, but out of impatiencie to beare reproofe, which maketh vs to returne like for like, because we would haue both lye vnder the same guilt; whereas if we take admonition well, and performe the like dutie at another time to our neighbour, it will be imputed to the friendly liberty of loue, which seeketh to reforme the faulty, and not to anger and reuenge, which vp∣braideth the like faultinesse to countenance our owne. Secondly, there is required, that we take fit occasions to admonish; as when our neighbours, either by their words and speeches, or their actions and behauiour doe offer vnto vs some fit opportunity; for if it come thus by accident, if fin∣deth

more easie entrance, whereas if we seeme to come of purpose prepa∣red and armed, it will seeme more harsh to them whom wee admonish, and but cause them to prepare also to make resistance. Or when being sharpely taunted for their faults by their enemies, they are vexed and grie∣ued with their reproches, then may wee take fit occasion to giue them ad∣monition for them, that they may not be lyable to such disgraces; for this will seeme to spring out of loue, which seeketh their credit, and will mooue them to take it well, when as we of the poyson of other mens ray∣lings and reuilings, doe make an antidote by our friendly admonitions, to preserue them from taking any hurt from them for the time to come. Thirdly, we must be carefull in admonishing others, that we our selues be not guilty of the same faults which we taske in them, lest they pay vs in our owne coyne, mete vnto vs by the same measure, and bring vs vnder the same condemnation. Yea perhaps we may incurre thereby the suspi∣tion * 1.14 of hypocrites, who tell others of their sinnes to hide our owne, or like subtill theeues, raise a clamour against our neighbours, that wee may the better escape in the Hiew and Cry; or of disliking their person more then their sinne, seeing we nourish the like in our owne bosome. Or if Christian loue mooue vs to admonish them in this kinde, because such sinnes beare more sway in them then in vs, being committed by them wilfully and with settled resolution, by vs through frailty, infirmity, and at vnawares, seeing they defend them, and we bewaile them, they cherish and nourish them, we condemne and labour to mortifie them; we may, being our selues faulty in this case, admonish others: but then it is best to preuent their vp∣braiding by confessing our owne frailty, and by applying our admonition to our selues together with them, as thereby seeking our mutuall reforma∣tion. Fourthly, our admonitions must proceed from brotherly loue, the which being a grace hidden in our hearts, wee must make knowne by the fruits of it. To which end we must vse all lenity, meekenesse of spirit, com∣passion in the sense of the like infirmities in our selues, with milde and gentle speeches, shewing in our hatred of their sinne, the loue of their per∣son. And though the party may discerne them, yet if we would doe any good, we may not vse any insulting speeches, contumelious words, scoffes, scornes, or byting iests; and howsoeuer in some cases for lesser faults, or when we haue to deale with a froward nature, we may sweeten our admo∣nition, by speaking merrily, and in a pleasant manner, yet wee must take heed that we retaine our grauity, lest it bee turned into a iest, and so lose all its force and efficacy. But especially wee are to take heed that our ad∣monitions doe not appeare to haue risen out of selfe-loue, and respect to our owne particular, but out of our loue of them whom we admonish; for if this be but suspected, it will neuer take any place, because wee seeke not their good, but our owne. And secondly, that they proceed not from anger and choller, which will make it seeme a chiding and brawling, ra∣ther then an admonition; and an action of rauing, rather then of loue. In which respect, our admonitions will be the more powerfull, when as they haue no reference to our selues, either of profit or hurt, but rather such as by the faults which we reprooue, accrew vnto others. Againe, to shew our loue, we are with the notice which we take of their faults, to acknow∣ledge

their good parts, and to giue them due praise for their well-deser∣uing. Or if their defects will affoord no such occasion, wee may inter∣mixe the vertues of their parents or deare friends; both which will swee∣ten our admonition, and serue like sugar to take away the distaste of their bitternesse. Neither must wee bee alwayes beating vpon one string, nor vse this soueraigne Salue for euery slight scratch; but vpon some vrgent necessitie and waighty occasion, passing by petty matters of small value, as not seeing them, or at least reseruing them, like little pieces of coyne, till they bee come to a summe. For to bee still admo∣nishing for euery trifle, will make vs seeme curious busie-bodies and harsh censures, to bee voyde of loue, which maketh vs passe by infirmi∣ties, and will cause our company to bee tedious and irkesome, and our admonitions by their frequencie vnrespected and of no force. Fifthly, if the parties wee admonish bee of stout spirits, and are bold enough to beare it, wee may deale plainely and particularly with them for their sinnes; but if they haue tender foreheads, and are so ingenuously bash∣full, that they are apt to bee daunted, and put out of countenance, by our taking notice of their faults; it is Christian wisedome to nourish this modestie and shamefastenesse, seeing there is no great danger, that such will bee hardened in their sinnes. And to this end, it is good to ad∣monish them of their faults in other mens persons, which are alike knowne vnto them, and to let them see the foulenesse of their vices, when, like vnpartiall beholders, they take a view of them in other subiects. The which course also is sometimes good, when it is propounded by way of Parable in another person, as when wee haue to deale with our superiours (as Nathan with Dauid) or such as will not by plaine and di∣rect dealing bee so easily conuinced of their sinnes. Againe, to cherish ingenuity, and to preserue men from boldnesse and impudency, it is not good in our admonitions to presse our reproofes too farre, but to giue them some little euasion, that they may not turne againe as despe∣rate, and flie in our faces. And therefore wee are sometimes to admit of their excuses and extenuations; yea, sometimes our selues after a charitable manner, to doe it for them, giuing the best interpretation we can, either of the matter or manner of their actions, or their minde in doing them; but in the meane time these extenuations and excuses must bee referred to the person, but not to the sinne it selfe, which must bee mainely beaten downe, euen whilest wee keepe the party from sincking vnder it. Finally, as with our admonitions wee must intermixe louing and kinde speeches; so especially our care must be, that we alwayes make a friendly conclusion; and not let the admonished depart discontented and exasperated, but so winne him by our kinde vsage, that (if it be pos∣sible) he may depart, as farre in loue with our persons, as in hatred of his owne sinne; like a Patient cured of some grieuous wounds, who lo∣ueth his skilfull and faithfull Chyrurgion, when the cure is perfected, though hee complained of his rough handling him, when hee was sear∣ching them to the quicke. But if when wee haue done our best by admo∣nition, wee cannot reclaime our neighbours from their sinnes, but that they still wilfully commit them, and continue in them without

repentance; then is it our dutie, with due respect had to our place and calling, and also their persons and condition, freely to rebuke and re∣prooue them. And this the Lord commandeth as a testimonie of our bro∣therly loue; Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thy heart; thou shalt in any * 1.15 wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sinne vpon him. And our Sauiour Christ requireth it as an action that concerneth our selues as well as them, seeing if wee neglect it when wee haue a calling to performe it, wee also are accessary vnto their sinnes. Take heede (saith he) to your selues: If thy * 1.16 brother trespasse against thee, rebuke him, and if he repent, forgiue him. But howsoeuer here more seuerity and sharpenesse is to be vsed then in our ad∣monitions, and these old festered sores are to bee handled with a rougher hand, then if they were greene wounds, yet we must take heede, that loue shine through these cloudes of iust anger, that it may appeare to the par∣tie reproued, that wee intend the cure, and not to hurt the person. To which end all scolding and brawling, rayling and reuiling speeches are vtterly to bee auoided, which neuer doe good, but worke in them spleene and malice towards them that vse them, rather then any reformati∣on of their faults, or hatred of their sinnes.

§. Sect. 3 That wee may lawfully con∣ferre of morall and ciuill things.

And thus we are in cōpany to frame our speeches vpon all occasions, that they may tend to the spirituall edification of our brethren. But though such conference in companie is to bee performed as most excellent, yet may such speeches haue their due place, which concerne morall and ciuill things, about any subiect which may better and improue our knowledge for the seruice of the Church or common wealth, or mutuall good duties to bee performed towards one another; about the health and wel-fare of our bodies, or our common affaires and businesses which we haue in the world one with another, and such matters as concerne the good of our e∣states, of which wee may lawfully aduize and take counsell one of another, for the better directing and managing of all our actions and endeuours. Yea sometime our speeches and conferences may tend to honest delight, and to the mutuall comfort and refreshing of one another, that our spi∣rits being cheered and reuiued, wee may bee the better fitted for duties of an higher nature. For howsoeuer it be lawfull sometimes to vse speech∣es tending to our worldly profit and delight, yet let vs carefully take heede, that wee be not (like most men at their meetings) wholly taken vp with them, talking of nothing else but of carnall and earthly things; but seeing God is the Author and giuer of this excellent faculty of speech, let our tongues bee chiefely imployed (when wee are at our free choyse, and not straightened in our desired liberty by our earthly necessities that presse vpon vs) in such conferences as tend to Gods glory, and the mutuall edification one of another; that so it may appeare that wee are pilgrims on earth, and Citizens of heauen, when as our conuersation is about hea∣uenly matters; and that we are free Burgesses of the new Ierusalem, when as we speake the language of Canaan.

§. Sect. 4 That we must carefully auoid all cor∣rupt commu∣nication.

Much more let vs carefully auoid in our conferences, the speech of * 1.17 Ashdod, which who so vseth, professing himselfe an Israelite, deserueth to be cursed, and that there were some good Nehemiah to smite him with the hand of Iustice, and to plucke off his hayre. As all hurtfull speech,

which tendeth to Gods dishonour, swearing, blaspheming, cursing, and such as sauoureth of irreligion, profanenesse and Atheisme; or to the de∣struction of our owne and neighbours soules, for which Christ died; as * 1.18 all euill words which corrupt good manners; all filthy communication and rotten speech, which infecteth and poysoneth the hearers; all scurri∣lity, vnsauorie and obscene iests; all scoffes and bitter frumps, scornefull taunts and spitefull iests, impeaching the credit and reputation of our neighbours, which proceede, for the most part, from an affectation of the praise of wit, and so farre bewitch men, that they are ready (as wee say) to lose their friend rather then their iest, and so foolishly to exchange a precious iewell, for a trifling bable. And hereunto we may adde all speech∣es directly contrary vnto those that tend to edification; as such as tend to the corrupting of the iudgement of our neighbours, and to the leading of them into error, euill counsaile, and all such as discourage them in the waies of Godlinesse. Such as grieue the afflicted spirit, and make him to sinke vnder his burthen; such as incourage men vnto sinne, and counte∣nance those, who are fearefull and bashfull, in wicked courses, or which hinder those that are falne, from rising againe, and turning vnto God by true repentance. And as wee are to auoide in all our conferences these hurtfull and pernicious speeches, so also such as are vaine and vnprofita∣ble, as not attaining vnto our chiefe endes, the glory of God, and our own and our neighbours good; in which notwithstanding the most men spend their time, and as the Psalmist complaineth, speake vanity euery one * 1.19 with his neighbour; thinking themselues sufficiently excused, because they say no hurt. But such forget in the meane time, that the Wise man prayeth against this vanity, that the Apostle doth forbid and condemne it; and * 1.20 that our Sauiour Christ at the day of Iudgement will call into account * 1.21 not onely such speeches as are hurtful, but such also as are idle and vnpro∣fitable.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Col. 4. 6.
• * 1.2

  Eph. 4. 29.
• * 1.3

  Dan. 12. 3.
• * 1.4

  Iam. 5. 19, 20.
• * 1.5

  Heb. 3. 13.
• * 1.6

  1. Thes. 5. 14, 11.
• * 1.7

  Esa. 35. 3. Heb. 12. 12.
• * 1.8

  Iob 4. 4, 5.
• * 1.9

  Esa. 50. 4.
• * 1.10

  Rom. 15. 14.
• * 1.11

  Ios 22. 16.
• * 1.12

  1. Sam. 1. 14.
• * 1.13

  1. Sam. 2. 22.
• * 1.14

  Matth. 7. 1, 2.
• * 1.15

  Leuit. 19. 17.
• * 1.16

  Luke 17. 3.
• * 1.17

  Nehem. 13. 23.
• * 1.18

  1. Cor. 15. 33. Eph. 4. 29. Eph. 5. 4.
• * 1.19

  Psal. 12 2.
• * 1.20

  Pro. 30 8. Tit 3. 9.
• * 1.21

  Matth. 12. 36.