The burthen of a loaden conscience: or the miserie of sinne set forth by the confession of a miserable sinner.

O The terrible wrath of almightie God, I horriblie dishonoured my father and mother euen from my birth vntill they were dead, and buryed. Therefore I could neuer take good roote in any place whithersoeuer I came: great meanes of happinesse haue beene offered vnto me, but thorough want of grace I haue alwaies liued wretchedly,

and runne into many grieuous aduersities. I began to dishonour, greeue, mock, and scorne my deare mother so soone, as I coulde speake; and fell into an hellish vngracious∣nes, wherewith I haue disgraced, and misu∣sed my selfe euer since. In time also I began to dishonour, and greeue my father; in which cursed sinne I continued till his death: Therefore fewe and troublesome are the daies of my life: and that which is worst of all, an euill ende is falling vpon me.

All children take warning by me; ho∣nour your parents in heart, in word, and in∣deede. Reuerence them, obey them di∣ligently, and striue to please them. Then will God surely blesse you, and you shall prosper in bodie, and soule. But if you will be leade by the deuill to despice your par∣ents, to disobey them, and greeue them, God will despice you, greeue you, and destroy you. If you haue any waie misbe∣haued yourselues to your parents, cry them mercie vpon your knees, and humblie in∣treat them to praie vnto God, that he will forgiue you.

If your parents doe neede your helpe, help them to the verie vttermost of your power. When they be sick, goe vnto them,

tarrie about them, be readie, and put forth your selfe to to doe any thing for them. O that children did know what is the worth of a fathers, or mothers blessing, when their hearts be comforted by the dutifullnesse of their child. They would rather then faile, creepe vpon their hands, and knees to please them.

The Deuill knoweth this to be true, and therefore blindeth childrens eyes, and hard∣neth their hearts, least they, by honouring their father, and mother should procure to themselues the manyfold blessings of God. When your parents die, mourne for them, and bury them in seemelie sort.

Neuer endure to say or heare any worde against your father, or mother.

If you haue any grandfather, and grand∣mother, you must honour them as your fa∣ther, and mother. Honour your vnckles, auntes, brethren, and sisters, yea and all your kindred, for your fathers, and mothers sake. Moreouer honour all them that haue beene freindes to your father, and mother. you must honour the King as your father; for he vnder God preserueth you in peace from iniurie, and violence. You must loue your country, as your mother: for in it you

were borne and brought vp. You must honour them that are in authoritie vnder the king, and all your superiours. For they are meanes to keepe good order; that you may liue a quiet life in all godlinesse, and honestie. Meddle not with state-matters aboue your calling: for it is a spice of a re∣bellious nature to call the doeings of higher powers into question, and to finde fault with them. If any thing seeme amisse, pray humblie to God, that he will mercifully cause it to be amended; and doe you care∣fully endeuour to amende your owne selfe. For it may be that your sinne is some part of cause, why there is any want of grace in your gouernors. This is your best waie; and not to speake euill of those which are in authoritie, as I haue wickedly done.

You must honour Archbishopps, and Bishops and all Christs ministers as fathers. For their office is to feede your soules; spe∣cially the minister of the parish, wherein you liue, who in matter of saluation is as a mother to nurce you,* 1.1 and as a father to traine you, and teach you. Haue alwaies a reuerent opinion of your minister; for other∣wise you shall greatly indanger your soules; as I haue done.

If your heart be possessed with a dislike of your minister, goe to some other Church to heare the seruice of God, vntill you be in a better minde; least the ill conceit of the minister make you to mistake and be distas∣ted with that which he preacheth, readeth, or prayeth. For then you should be in a fearefull case, and the deuill woulde enter into you, and make you loath the holy ser∣uice of God.

Whiles you liue, blesse your selfe from saying, and doing any thing, that may disa∣ble the minister of Christ;* 1.2 for that were to despice Christ himselfe.

If you saie, he is thus, and thus vnfit for his calling. I answear, as before, if hee be so, you are bounde to praie that he may be amended. What warrant haue you to iudge Gods minister; Take heede.

I was once a naughtie seruant; and there∣fore doe intreat all seruants to honour them whose seruants they are, as if they were their fathers, and mothers, reuerencing, obeying, and seruing them faithfully. Blessed are all good seruants. For whether their masters vse them well, or no, God will not faile to powre his blessing vpon them. But he will surelie punish naughtie seruants, and

naughtie masters.

Honour all your friends, and well willers: for they are, or would be, as your parents, meanes to preserue you. Hate my barbarous propertie, and neuer be vnkind to any that hath beene kind to you, although he be tur∣ned from a friend to an enemie.

One vnkindnesse, yea many times a false suspicion of vnkindnesse, hath made me di∣shonour my kind freinds: But if you will please God, practise the contrary, let not many vnkindnesses cause you to forget one kindnesse; but let one kindnesse put many vnkindnesses quite out of mind.

Reuerence your elders, and all that are in any gift or grace of God better then you, for they are as fathers and mothers vnto you to doe you some good, at least by exam∣ple.

God made all people in his owne like∣nesse, and their is none so low but that he may one way or other doe you good; at least by excercising your patience if he be faultie, or your enimie; much more by praying for you, if you giue him cause so to doe: there∣fore honour all people, euen your enemies. And let your owne conuersation be wise & vertuous, least you doe as I haue done, di∣shonouring

God that made you, your pa∣rens that brought you forth and norished you, your gouernours that haue the ruling of you, your freinds that fauour, and further you, for you doing euill are a discredit vnto them all: yea, if your behauiour be not good you dishonour all the world, for if you doe respect them as Gods people ought to be respected, you will be ashamed that any should see, or heare euill of you.

All parents, and bringers vp of children nurture them while they be young to feare God and honor you, for so they will be fra∣med to honour all others. But if in fonde loue you make your children your fellowes or by ill behauiour cause them to thinke vnreuerently of you, how can they kindly performe their dutie vnto you.

O that parents did so loue their children, that their speciall care might be to make them lowely and louely to God, and to all people; O Lord Iesu, I humbly beseech thee to say, Amen.

I am a murderer in heart, in tongue, & in outward works, therefore euerlasting life is not in me: my heart is full of vncharitable∣nesse, readie to mislike any bodie, to surmise euill of them, and so to entertaine furious

anger, hellish hatred, and all deadly enmitie my tongue is a sharpe sword wounding euen my freinds; yea, I am like a foole that blindfoldeth himselfe and hurteth he careth not whom, when I conceaue that any is ad∣versarie vnto me, I spare no poyson but re∣uile him bitterly. I haue murdered many with an euill eie, enuying their prosperitie; I haue stricken and flung at others with a murderous mind, I haue caused quareling & and fighting, I haue caused some to loose the meanes whereby they liued. I haue hindred others from obtaining helps of preseruing their life. I haue greedily kept in store, and vainely wasted that, through the want whereof many poore haue pined with hun∣ger and cold. I haue indangered the saluati∣on of others by ill example, liuing among them as one infected with the plague; yea many sinnes like plague sores breaking and running out cōtinualy. All people take war∣ning by me, if you will not be guiltie of murder, shunne all the causes, and occasions thereof. Doe not endure to take any dislike of man, woman, or child, nor be too well conceited of your selfe, for then you shall be apt to thinke ill of any bodie: O that you knew into how many dangers you put your

selfe, when you begin to dislike or despise a∣ny bodie: for euen as when your mouth is out of tast you cannot relish any thing be it neuer so good; so if your mind be ill concei∣ted of an other, whatsoeuer he saieth or do∣eth you condemne it. But you may say, shall I not dislike such as I doe see and heare to be euill? I answere first, you may by sight, and hearing take your tast amisse,* 1.3 as the Phari∣se did in disliking the publican; whose heart was better liked of God then the Pharises, that disliked him. Secondly, although an o∣ther be indeede so bad as you see and heare that he is; yet you must dislike him none otherwise, then for your owne sinnes you dislike your selfe. Sorrie you are and much displeased with your sinnes, if you be a true christian; but yet you hate not your selfe, you doe not raile vpon your selfe; but louing your selfe you hide your faults. So must you doe to others, for if you loue them, loue co∣uereth a multitude of sinnes. But if you hate any of Gods people you are a murderer:* 1.4 therefore take heede,* 1.5 follow the counsell of the holy Ghost, whatsoeuer cause is gi∣uen you to be angry, pacifie your selfe, and let not wrath stay long in your heart; least you entertaine the deuill, who will fill you

with hate, and desire of reuenge. If anie doe hurt you in word or deede, first consider well, whether you haue giuen anie cause ei∣ther speciallie touching that partie, or by a∣nie misbehauiour: examine your heart be∣fore the face of God, as he shall iudge your soule, and if you finde your selfe anie waie in fault; crie God mercie both for your owne sinnes, and for his that hath thereupon done you harme: for if you had not giuen cause, he had not sinned in harming you by word or deede.

But if your conscience be cleare, that you be hurt by them, to whome you haue giuen no cause, then if you can haue true patience, you are Gods owne childe. If a man were by the lawes of the Realme condemned to die a grieuous death, and might escape with condition that his coate should be beaten, and he take it patientlie, it is to be thought that he would be verie glad of the conditi∣on, and striue to be patient: you are a sinner, and therefore by the law of God worthie to suffer death in hell fire, where the damned are euer in extreame pangs of death, and yet they neuer die. God of his mercie offereth you pardon through Iesus Christ, vpon con∣dition that you shall patientlie suffer the ad∣uersities,

and iniuries of this world. There∣fore looke well to your selfe, and by your patience keepe your soule,* 1.6 least breaking the condition you forfeit your pardon, and so be tormēted. Take heed how you iudge of any bodie, for you may be many waies de∣ceiued; euen in that which you see, much more in that which you heare, and most of all in that which you surmise.

Doe not wish, no nor imagine any euill to happen vpon any of Gods people; but thinke, and wish well to all, yea to your e∣enemies, praie earnestly to God for them. Doe not reioice to see, or heare any euill of others, but sorrow and grieue at it; nor grieue to see or heare of the prosperitie of others, but reioice at it. Then are you in charitie; els not.

Whatsoeuer aduersitie happeneth vnto you, humble your selfe to God, and take it patientlie, least you hurt both body & soule with worldlie sorrow, as I haue done. Haue a good conscience towards God, and be in charitie and peace with all people; then no∣thing can ouercome you.

Be slowe to speake, and when you speake let your speach be gracious, powdred with heauenlie salt, that you may harme none of

Gods people in any word that you vtter. Before you speake, be well aduised what you say; of whome, and to whome, what you say? for you must giue a reckoning of euerie idle word. One needles word draw∣eth out an other, and commonly causeth much euill communication. Take heede of whome you speake: for you must not call a∣ny bodies name into question, vnlesse it be to some good and charitable purpose. It is an hellish propertie of mine to occasion speach of any in place where they are likelie to be ill spoken of, whereby I set them as a marke for others to shoote at.

Take heede to whome you speake: for some are of that qualitie, that you can hard∣lie saie any thing to them, but they wil pick some euill out of it. Therefore let your words be few, and wiselie spoken.

Neuer speake word to reproach any man, woman, or child. It is naught to reuile our enemie, worse to speake ill of him that neuer did you harme; but an horrible wickednesse to disgrace your friend. Some will say; Is it not lawfull to call a spade, a spade? I answer you by a notable example. S. Iude writeth that Michael the Archangel beeing in strife with the deuill, durst not giue any reproach∣full

word. Whie durst he not? Surelie for displeasing God. If it be displeasing to God, that an holie Angel should speake any re∣proach to the deuil, how can we safely quip, taunt, revile, defame, curse, and banne one an other?

A word of reproach is grieuous to him of whome it is spoken, maketh others to thinke hardlie of him, and may cause his de∣struction.

Cursers are murderers, for if it please God, to suffer their curse to take effect, the partie cursed is murdered by the deuill.

They that sooth and flatter others in euil, are murderers: for they thrust them forward into destruction.

Neuer practise any deceit to draw an other into danger: for God hateth blood thirstie and deceitfull men.

Be not double tongued, to speake faire to ones face, and foule behind his backe.

Make no debate, nor be a tale-carrier: for all such are set a work by the deuill, to cause mischiefe, and murder in the world.

Vse no man, woman, or child vncharitab∣ly: be kinde to all, and cruell to none. Be carefull to succour the needie, least they pe∣rish through want of that which you might

doe for them. Goe often to them that are sicke, but goe with a good intent, to good purpose. Sicknesse warneth the sicke to pre∣pare towards heauen. Therefore you must not talk much of earthly matters: for a small touch plucketh him downeward that is weakely going vp the hill; but helpe him vpward the best that you can with heauenly communication.

Take heede that you giue none euill ex∣ample in word or deed, for it is like the poy∣soned infection of the plague, which may goe farre, and cause the destruction of many.

If you would be cleere from all blood∣guiltynesse, flee from enmitie, and labour to be in peace, and to make peace.

To be in peace; first and foremost with God: for if there be enimitie betweene God, and you, you take the waie to mur∣der your owne soule; Secondly if you can possiblie with a good conscience haue peace withall people, yea sue, and seek for it. Because enmitie can hardly be without much vncharitablenesse. And greeuous is the danger thereof; as I finde, and feele by woefull experience. If your waies please God, as mine did neuer, he will make your

enemies to be in peace with you. And then you shal prosperously practise to be a make-peace betweene God and your neigh∣bour; and betweene neighbour and neigh∣bour, by your godly life, and good counsell. When you see or heare that anie are in en∣mitie, pitie their case, as if their houses were a fire and they themselues liklie to be bur∣ned; pray vnto God for them, that they may be rightly agreed; and practise what good meanes you can to quench the fire; but come not to neere it, least you be also fired; meddle not to much with the pointes in controuersie: for it is a very dangerous businesse. Keepe your selfe alwaies indiffer∣ent, not holding with one, nor with the other: for a partaker cannot be thought to beare an euen hand betweene them. Re∣member well the saying of Salomon,* 1.7 It is honour for a man to keepe himselfe out of contention; but fooles will be medling.

Striue to liue quietly: So shall you escape many troubles, preuent much mischeefe, and inioy many blessings.

Notes

• * 1.1

  ••s. 2.7. ••11, 12
• * 1.2

  Luk. 10.••
• * 1.3

  Luk. 18.
• * 1.4

  1. Ioh 3
• * 1.5

  Eph. 4.2
• * 1.6

  Matth. 1 23, 24, 25
• * 1.7

  Prov. 10