The .xiiij. Chapiter. ¶Of many affaires in the court, and that there be better husbandmen, then commonly is of courtiers.

THe Poet Homer hath written of the trauels of Vlixes one of y^e prin∣ces of the Greekes: Quintus Curtius of Alexander & Darius: Moyses of Ioseph, And of them of Egipt: Samuel of Dauid and of Saul: Titus Liuius, of the Romains: Thucidides of Iason with y^e Minotaure: and Salust of •ugurth and Cathelyne. I thē willing to folow these good auctors, haue vndertaken to wryte the vnkynd trauayles of the court that the cour∣tiers of our tyme haue which haue pa∣cience enough for to suffer them, and no wysedome to auoyde them: then it is not wythout a cause if I doe call the trauayles of the courte vn∣kynde,* for they bée accustomed vnto it as the olde horses are to the packesadle Page  [unnumbered] and to the plough, sith that the courtiers themselues do suffer them so much and haue no profite thereof. Some men wil say that I am euill aduised because I write y^e courtiers haue not their ease, seeing that he that may attaine to be in the court is accompted to be fortunate. But he abuseth him selfe, if he thynke that all such as are out of the court bée beastes and ignorant persons, and hée only wyse: they rude and he delicate: he honored and they vile, they stamme∣ring and he eloquent.

If it were so that God would that the most perfite men should be in the court, it should be to vs more then a fault, not incontinently to be a courtier: know∣ing that ther can be no better time em∣ployed, then that which is bestowed in hearing the wyse and sage men: but when all is sayd, the places doe not bet∣ter the men,* but the men the places. God knowes (for example) how many gentle and good honest myndes labor in the villages, and how many fooles and lubbers brag it in palaices. God know∣eth Page  51 how many wel ordered wittes and iudgementes is hid in the villages,* and how many rude wits & weake braines face and brace in the court. How many be ther in the court the which although they haue offices, dignities, estates, and préeminences, yet in the village (after a maner of speakyng) with great payne they are not able to rule .x. men. How many come out of the court correcters of other, that themselues in the villages shuld be corrected? O how many things is sayd amonges y^e poore laborers wor∣thy to be noted? And contrary, spoken afore princes worthy to be mocked? O howe many is in the court that make themselues highly to be estéemed, not for to be honest & diligent, but to come in auctoritie? And how many is there in the village forgotten and not set by, more for lacke of fauor then for either lacke of witte or diligence: The prin∣ces geue the offices: Those that be in fauor haue the entry: nature, the good bloud: The parentes, the patrimony: and the deseruing, honor: but to wyse Page  [unnumbered] and sage commeth onely of God,* & men haue not y^e power to take it away. And if it were so y^e princes might geue good witte to whō they would, they shoulde kéepe it for themselues,* seyng they ne∣uer léese, but for lacke of knowlege. I take it for an euil point of such as new∣ly come from the court to the village, & being there, rather vse mockyng then tast the benefite thereof. But in the meane tyme, thou séest their maner of life, that is, to go to bed at midnight and rise at .x. of y^e clocke, & in making readye till noone,* trimmyng their bushe, or beard, and settyng the cap awry. And all the day after, to talke of his darling that he hath in the court, or of the battel of Granado wher he did meruails.* And some there be of them that will lye and bragge y^t they were at the iorney of Pa∣uay w^t the capitaine Antony Deleua: at Tunes with the Emperour: or at Tur∣ron with Andrew Doria. And for all his brabling he was no better then a ruffi∣an or a zacar of Tholydo, or a knaue of Cordoua. We haue rehersed these things Page  52 before writtē, to cause our minion fris∣kers to leaue mocking of y^e poore inha∣bitantes of the village, estéeming thē to be but fooles and lurdens. For I beleue, if my maister the Emperor would ba∣nish all the cōpany of fooles,* I feare me he were lyke to dwell alone in y^e court. Let vs say thē, that very late they of the court know thēselues & y^e order of their life & professiō,* I mean y^e professiō of the religiō which thei kepe straitly, y^e which cōsistes in this: they promise to please y^e deuil, & to cōtent y^e court, & to folow the world: They promise to be euer pēsife, sad & ful of suspicion: They promise al∣wayes to be chopping & chaūging, ful of busines, to bye, to sell, to wéepe, to sin, & neuer to reforme thēselues: They pro∣mise also to be iagged & ragged, an hun∣gred, indebted & dispised: they promyse to suffer rebukes of lords, theft of their neighbors, iniuries of colerike mē, moc¦keries of y^e people, reproch of their parē¦tes: & finally, missing & lacking of frēds.

Lo this is the profession and rule of the obseruauntes of the court: which Page  [unnumbered] I will not name a rule,* but a confusion: not a order but a disorder, not a mona∣stery, but a hell, and a religion not of brethren, but of dissolute persons: no poore Hermites but couetous worldely men. O pittie, O lacke of good iudge∣ment. The Oracle of Apollo beyng asked by the Ambassadours of the Ro∣maines wher lay the poynt for one to go∣uerne himselfe wel,* The answer was, for a man to know wel his own estate and degrée, that thereby one may rule his desires, and bridle his affectiōs. The courtier desiring all, and perseueryng in nothing, shall thinke in his mynde, that if he get not in one yeare some fée or office, that it is not for lack of know∣lege: but as a person ignorant and foo∣lishe blameth his fortune, and curseth the houre y^t euer he came thether, with∣out callyng to mynde that the court is as the Palme trée whose roote is a fea∣dome vnder the ground, before that he shewe two fingers brede of leaues a∣boue the ground.* In like maner, a man must be long in seruice before he be pro¦moted: Page  53 yet so much resteth that the per∣seuering and abidyng by it, causeth a man to hope: For to say the truth, it is séene, if there bée thrée which deserue more then they haue, there be thrée hū∣dreth that haue more thē they deserue. O how seldome tymes doeth fortune that she ought for to doe?* And how ma∣ny tymes fortunes hazard and chaunce doeth better then the assurance of ver∣tue? because she measures her merites by the euil length of opinion, and not by reason: she makes the water burne without fyre, the knife to cutte without stéele, the Candle to light w^tout flame, the Mill to goe without water,* and the cause is only her inconstancy. If shee laugh in the court of any, it is but with her eares, If shée wéepe, it had béen bet∣ter neuer for a man to come out of hys house: If shée lifte any vp aloft, it is to throwe him downe agayne lower then he was: If sometyme shée dissemble, it is to take one in a trap. Let no man thē trust of fortune, for shée is so varyable, that shée neuer holdeth her promyse of Page  [unnumbered] that shée geueth, neyther by worde nor yet by writing that shée maketh.