Newes from hell, Rome and the inns of court wherein is sett forth the coppy of a letter written from the Diuell to the Pope : the true coppy of the petition delivered to the King at York : the coppy of certaine artikles of agreement betweene the Divill, the Pope and divers others : the discription of a feast sent from the Diuell to the Pope together with a short advertisement to the high court of Parliament with sundry other particulars /

HERE FOLLOWETH A BREEFE RELA¦tion of a great feast which from Lucifer Prince of hell was by the hands of Cardinall pegusious presen∣ted to the view disposall and abrobation of the Pope of Rome in the yeare of Iubely, 1641.

Pope

MY Lord Cardinall pegusious, and you the rest of my holy brethren, I beseech you, view these excelent varieties and variety of excelencies, well dressed, and most exquisitely set forth and Garnished. But the contents of e∣very dish, I beleeue is best knowne to you my Lord Pegusi∣ous, from whom I desire to be satisfied, concerning the con∣tents, qualities, and opperation, of every severall dish.

Card'i.

May it please your Holinesse, These varieties of dishes, which yovr holines here sees thus set sorth, Were all of them prepared, for the onely Table, of our high & migh¦ty Monarch, king Lucifer, your holynes sole Patrone, and protector, A certaine number of which dishes his Mat'iy hath gratiously bin pleased, to cause them to be presented to your holines disposall, and the resudue of them, onely, to your holines vew and approbation, being to be preserved for his Ma'ties owne peculiar pallate.

Pope.

I beseech you my Lord Car'd, let me haue them brought hither before me in order, according to the ap∣pointment of my Sofferaigne, & most munificient Patron,

Car'd,

Your holynes will and pleasure shall be accom∣plished, and here in the first place may it please your holy∣nes to take notice, that the first dish by his Ma'ties appoint∣ment to be presented to your holines disposall, is this large (Lattin charger) containing twenty two, Lordly Eng∣lish Bishops, stued with the fire of contention, on the cha∣findish

of exasperation and seasoned with the severall spices of mans invention, as with the spice of the masse, Priesthud, holy-dayes, Altars, Candles, Rayles, holy-bread, holy-wa∣ter, holy-ashes, deuout prayer for the dead, invocation of Saints, offerings at the Altars, exc••mmnnications, and the strong and opperatiue spice, of the high commision. Jt is also garnished about, with the severall heritickall Doctrines of all the New intituled, priests of England, & this dish his Ma'ty hath appointed to be disposed of by your holynes.

Pope.

I will surely taste of it, (it lookes louely) Oh Ad∣mirable? it is a most LAVD able dish of meat: I can find nothing wanting in this dish: but onely three graines: of the spice of accomplishment: and then it had bin deuoutly sea∣soned for my pallatt: but J pray what is the next dish my lo'

Card',

The next dish may it please your holynes: is a sil∣ver charger, comprehending all the contrivers, and com∣plotters of the dissention betweene England, and Scotland, os rhe last Spainish invasion of England, and the practisers with the French for the subvertion of all the heritiks in Eng∣land, Scotland, and Jreland, it is seasoned with all our Iesu∣itical practises, Church policies and al our Euglish Romane Catholike tretcheries, and garnished with al our English Ro¦mane statistes: this dish of meat is now almost could, and therefore at this present vnfit for your Holynes pallatt, it onely wants the breath of the Earle of Straffords fiery zeal to heat it, by a Laudable blast or two.

Pope.

However I pray let me taste of it. Oh the: lamen∣tation of a sinner, pity, pity, yea a thousand pities is it, that this dish had not bin kept hott and seasoned to the proofe, that we might haue sung most Laudably, te Lucifer Lauda∣mus. But my lo' Card' what is the next dish.

Card',

May it please your holynes, this dish containes, a

certaine number of falce and corrupt Iudges, it is seasoned with the spice of aged detestable couetuousnes, bribery, ex∣tortion, oppression, iniustice, unmercifullnes, and with parvertion of all the statute lawes, garnished with ship mo∣ney, forrest mony, lone mony, and a multitude of Jsoprises but this dish is by his ma'ties speciall order to be preserved for his owne peculiar pallate.

Pope.

His Majesties will be done, J shall be ever ready & obedient to all his Ma'ties, commands, nor will I pre∣sume to taste of it: but onely passe my iudgment on it, that it is a Princely dish, fit onely for his Majesties table.

What is the next J pray my Lord,

Card'i,

The next may it please your holynes is a large Golden charger: contayning a very great number of bace minded covetuous uniust: extorting & oppressing Lawyers who value every word by them vttered at a barr of iustice, at a farre higher price, then your holynes doth your Buls, is∣sued forth for remission of sins, & these caterpillers, his ma'ti king Lucifer: hath brought into such great esteeme, with all the Jnhabitants of England, as that no man of quality thinks his hous to stand, vnles it bee supported by one of those vermine pillars and broud of contention this dish is seasoned with the spice of extorting fees from one twenty-shillings-peece. to 5. to 10. yea to 20. espeacially by those who are stiled the iudges favourites, all this is giuen some times but for the speaking of 2. or 3. words. it is likewise seasoned with the taking fees on both sides, deluding clyents, spin∣ing out the thred of an honest cause to its full length, vntill the purs-strings both of plaintife and defendant crack, and then they are tied together, by a commission into the coun∣try, where these catterpillers are reverenced and feared like so many Gods, by all the people, this dish is garnished with

some 10000. pestifferous petty fogging, sedicious 10-groat Atturnnies, one of whose parfidious bills of charges, in one tearme advances it-selfe sometimes vnto the sum of 5. 10. 20. yea 30 pounds. espeacialy whē he finds his clyent natu∣rally inclyned to the conditions of an asse. And on every of these garnishes hāgs 5 ••onny-catching deceaitful Solissitors properly termed Lawyers-limetwigs, traps, or nets, to catch the poore silly creatures caled clyents, & this dish his Ma'ty hath also reserved for his owne table.

Pope,

It is a Princely dish indeed, and fit onely for the peculiar table of so great a Monarch, as is our most damb∣nable Sofferaigne King Lucifer, the opperation & vertue of which dish, is able to season a whole kingdome, to be fit meat for his Ma'ties pallate, espeacially if there be but the op∣peratiue spice added to it, called the (action of the cace)

But what is this dish my lord Card'i.

Card',

may it please your holynes, this dish containes a certaine num••er of bace muck-wormes, stiled, Docters of our sivill law. Chancelors and Officials, this dish is also seasoned with the uniust spice of extortion, oppression, fraud, and deceit, and granished, about with a most damb∣nable crue, of Procters, Notaries, Registers, Deligates, Ad¦vocates, Sumners, and petty apparaters, these haue for ma∣ny yeares, proued noteable instruments of strife and vexsa∣tion, vnto the inhabitants of England, and through their de¦ceaueabl wayes haue mightily oppressed the people: being not much inferior vnto the preceadent Golden charger.

But to this dish: may it please your holynes, there hath happened this yeare a very great mischance in the kooking, for when wee thought it should haue bin most Laudably boyled vp to its greatest hight of Catholik operatiō, there happened a Spider to fall into it, through a sudden blast of

Reformation which hath made it somwhat dangerous now for your holines to taste of, For, the Lamb that was moste richly seasoned in it, is now through this sudden and unex∣pected, misfortune, Putrified, and the Duck being a watry foule, is quite disolved and this dish by his Ma'tys speciall order, is to be left now to your holines disposall.

Pope,

J am much bound to his Ma'ty for his gracious fa¦vour to me herein, J shall be very carefull through delibera∣tion & mature consideration to study for the most fittest dis¦posall thereof during the time of my vicegerency here & then return it againe to his Ma'ties disposall. But I pray you my lord Cardinal what do those coper vessels containe

Car'd,

May it please your holines: this covered messe is a gallimofre or as the Fleamine cals it a Hutchepot, where∣in are sundry meates stued together: it containes a certaine number of beasts called, corrupt masters of the chancery: & half a dozen corrupt clarkes of the chancery, also 150. Of their puni clarkes comonly termed Aturnies in chancery. it also containes 6 new Aturnies of the Court of reqvests & some 60 of their puny Clarkes this Hutchepot is seasoned with the spice of bribery, fallswittneses stieled Knights of the poste, a spice greatly in request in those Courts, especialy in the examiners offices and the late Couentry, affidavit office but his Ma'tys special commād is to haue this couered mess preserued in its present condition; least contention should sease amongst the inhabitants of England: & vnity & peace take place: which cannot but tend much to his Ma'tys dettry¦ment & loss of dominion in that Kingdom: and to that end he hath caused the same to be sealed vp: & to be convayed from Couentry to Manchester by the G••ulden Finche.

Pope.

Good my Lord Cardjnal J beseech you, let his Ma'tys will & pleasure herein be very carefully accomplish∣ed,

for it concerns much his Ma'ties honour and our safety.

But what is in this dish my Lord?

Card':

this may it please your holines is likewise a Hutch∣pot, contayning meates of sundry sorts and operations, it containes a certaine number of Prothonotaries, Registers, & Clarks of the Starrechamber, chancery, court of requests Kings-bench, common please, and the excheckquer, this galimofre is seasoned with, subbornation of falce-witneses, falcyfiing of orders, and decrees, it is garnished with the subtile practises of the renter warden of the fleete and his imphes, as also with Killvert, killfart, killbennet, kill Bishop and the like instruments of Lawyers gaine, the opperation of this dish chiefely consists, in the confusion of mens es∣tates, to extract Gold out of all mens purses, to suppress ver∣tue and peace, and to advance eniquity and contention, to wrong & oppress every man, and to do right to no man.

And this mess is also to be reserved for his Ma'tys Table.

Pope.

Good my Lord Cardinall, J pray you let me taste of this mess, the opperation whereof by your relation ap∣peares to be admirable, J wish from my heart that J might also grow capeabel of that vertue. of extracting Gould out of the English nation, as som of my predisessors haue done before me, (J confesse) the study of this Art was begun by my Phisition, most Laud ably, but alas and we' is mee, it was marred by a robustious storm of wind out of the North and quite spoyled by a vehment shower of puritanical raine, And what is this next mess my Lord.

Card'

May it please your holines, this is also a Hutch∣pot, containing sundry cours meates, as scriveners, brok∣ers, vserres, iaylors, balifs sergeants, informers, periur'd Church-wardens, iustlers of the peace, & bumbalifs, this mess is seasoned with parcehment, deceit, extortion, vsery

opression, murthering of Christiā soules in prisons, through famine, false information, iniustice, neglect, and tirrany, & is garnished with a number of irreligious Majors, Sherefs, Feoderies, escheaters, Clarkes of the syse, Clarkes of the peace, Constables and headboroughs. But this mess is by his Ma'ties order to be disposed of vnto his servants.

Pope.

Jndeed my lord Car'd, my'thinkes this mess hath a very bitter rellish with it, elce my mouth is quite out of taste, I conceaue it to be a mess fit onely for his Ma'ties hell hounds, But What is this last mess.

Card'.

I conceaue this mess to be very wel known to your holines, for it is seasoned with moste of those operatiue spi∣ces that all the meat dresed in you holines kitchin is season∣ed with, this mess containes diuers iusticiall birds of midle∣sex as namely the long the hearne, the snape, the hooker the geaye, and the likes of them. Seasoned with the fees and bribes of all the whores, and theefes that liue in Westmin∣ster, Coven-Garden, Hollborne, Grub-street, Clarcken∣well. Rosemary-lane. Turnbull-street, Rattcliff, South∣warke, banke-side, & kent-street, this dish is also garnished with the new-yeares-gifts, of the whores, theefes, and cut∣purses, dwelling in the fore-named severall places, but this mess is by his Ma'ty, reserued for his owne peculiar pallatt.

Pope.

Oh venerable Bead, Oh holy Garnet, O sanctifi∣ed Fauxe, O reverent Beckett, O beloued Raviliack, Cam∣pion, Watson, Parsons, Moorton, Sands, and Admired Bellermine, I call you all to witness this day, wether you or any of you: haue euer as yet bin capeable of such a deli∣cious feast: adorned with so many varieties: beautified with so many severall rareties, and seasoned with such delectable spices. Sancte benedicto Ora pronobis.

And thus rendring all hvmble and harty thankes: with

all Reuerence in all obedience: vnto his Ma'ty: our moste dambenable prince and Protector: Lucifer: king of sticks: and Phleget'on:

I remaine his Ma'tys humble servant: and vice-gerent: at his Ma'tys sole disposall dureing life. PAPA. ROMANORUM.

[illustration]

666.