Ortho-methodoz itro-chymikē: or the direct method of curing chymically Wherein is conteined [sic] the original matter, and principal agent of all natural bodies. Also the efficient and material cause of diseases in general. Their therapeutick way and means. I. Diætetical, by rectifying eating, drinking, &c. II. Pharmaceutick. 1. By encreasing and supporting the vital spirits. 2. By pacifying and indulging them. 3. By defacing or blotting out the idea of diseases by proper specificks. Lastly, by removing the extimulating or occasional cause of maladies. To which is added, The art of midwifery chymically asserted. The character of an ortho-cymist, and pseudochymist. A description of the sanative virtues of our stomach-essence. Also, giawo-mempsiz: or a just complaint of the method of the Galenists. By George Thomson, M.D.

A Character of the Pseudo-chy∣mist or Counterfeit.

THe Pseudochymist is an Upstart thing, as it were a Mushrome, suddenly sprung up, receiving, for the most part, his Seminal Being from the Publick Prescripti∣ons of the Galenists, their disrespect to the Chymical Orthomethod of Healing, and their gross Ignorance in handling Materia Medica.

Hereby this Fungus animated, having by Accident, Contract, or another By-way purchased some ordinary Medicaments, which he prodigally giving without any precise Method at a venture in difficult Di∣seases,

becomes more cryed up for his nota∣ble feats in Physick by the Multitude than the Dogmatists, both conspiring alike to ru∣ine man. Thus farther emboldned, he rush∣eth in at the back-door disguised, strait falls to act his part on the Scene of this Micro∣cosm, with a full design to cheat all that he can draw to him. Then from a Mechanick, as a Gunsmith, Tailer, Shoomaker, he is by the bewitching Tongue of Nurses Mid∣wives, or the like Gang perhaps ravished with his jugling Astrological Prodictions metamorphized into a Formal Doctor, who created by the rabble at first, and clambring higher by vulgar steps, at length insinuates by his Imposture, Wiles, Craft, Impu∣dence, and Flattery into some great Mens Favour: upon this he forthwith passes cur∣rant for an approved Chymist; although, if he should be put to the Test, he would turn all into dross. To advance his base en∣terprize the more, he hath in readiness, his Emissaries, whom he hires or Bribes to trum∣pet out, magnifie, and extol his rare Cures: he endeavours to prostitute this Chast Art, to make it a very Whore to his Lusts, Pimp or Pander to compass his vile Ends. He is Impudent beyond expression, and because Stupid and Ignorant, a most sworn Enemy to Learning: yet will admire Van Helm.

although he never read him, nor is in least a∣ble to understand him, though Translated into his Mother Tongue. He boasts of his Speci∣ous Furnaces: but seldome handles a retort himself, yet will tell you what Herculean Labours he hath undergone; what he hath atchieved: making comparisons with the Best. He and the Galenist are herein well met for Subtlety, for like Apes, they know how to take Nuts out of the fire with the Paw of the Cat. This Foul Bird such as the Poet speaks of (contactu omnia foedans) hath a strang faculty by the enchanting me∣lodious Tune of his Long Bill, setting out his wonderful Cures, to draw one into his Net, hiding the rest of his ugly body, till he hath picked your Pocket, wronged your Health, or mortally wounded you.

He Counterfeits the true Chymist (as the Hyaena a Mans voice) tempting unwa∣ry people to come unto him, and then wor∣ries them. He, and the Chymical Galenist, like Davus, confound the whole World, so that few know how to chuse the Right, and leave the Wrong Way of Curing. He is still sowing his Pseudochymical Tares so thick, that Orthochymical Wheat is in danger to be strangled thereby. Although he be really of no Religion, yet sometimes he, as well as the Galenist, will profess to be of some

Congregational Church, or of some Fana∣tical Conventicle, to the end, being chang∣ed into an Angel of Light, he may set a spe∣cious gloss of Piety upon his fraudulent ways, hereby gaining more reputation a∣mongst the Brethren, he may cozen his Pa∣tients more plausibly. At his first entrance upon Pseudochymical Devices, he pretends to be a great Astrologer, thereby to deter∣mine whether the Sick shall live or die: yea to make him more notoriously famous, he undertakes to tell Fortunes, to instruct the people how they may come by their stolen Goods again, whether Mariners shall make prosperous Voyages, whether men shall meet with good or bad success in Marriage, Women with the like, &c. But afterward having pretty well feather'd his Nest, by plucking those Credulous Gulls who have stooped to his Call, also now his Art of cast∣ing Figures becoming more and more sus∣pected, likewise conscious to himself the Heavens will not suffer any longer his Impo∣stures; he begins to lay aside Ouranoscopie, thinking it best non altum sapere, sith quae supra nos nihil ad nos, and betakes himself to Ouroscopie, where he fixes, pretending to be a notable Pispot Prophet, to tell by bare inspection of the Urine, without far∣ther enquiry, what's the Disease, whether

the Party may recover, and how long, &c. To this Hocus Pocus Women of all Sorts and Degrees flock to know whether they be with Child; yea supposed Maidens to be resolved whether their Tympany be Intesti∣neal or Uterine, how they may be rid of the last with privacy, whose expectations he says, upon good Terms, he is ready to satisfie to all intents and purposes, by means of a se∣cret knack he hath attained.

I could acquaint my Countreymen if I had leisure, with multitude of Gins, Traps, and Snares this Bastard Chymist lays to catch the simple harmless man, that he make a Prey of his Body and Purse.

In short, he is a most Pestilent Animal, no more fitting to be tolerated by the Ma∣gistrate, than Wolves and Foxes amongst Sheep.