A token for mourners, or, The advice of Christ to a distressed mother bewailing the death of her dear and only son wherein the boundaries of sorrow are duly fixed, excesses restrained, the common pleas answered, and divers rules for the support of Gods afflicted ones prescribed / by J.F.

Luke 7. 13.

And when the Lord saw her, he had Compassion on her, and said to her, Weep not.

TO be above the stroke of pas∣sions, is a condition equal to Angels: to be in a State of Sorrow, without the sense of sorrow, is a disposition be∣neath Beasts; but duly to regulate our Sorrows, and bound our Passions under the rod, is the Wisdom, duty, and excellency of a Christian. He that is without natural affections, is deservedly ranked among the worst of Heathens; and he that is able rightly to manage them, deserves to be numbred with the best of Christians. Though when we are Sanctified, we put on the Divine Na∣ture; yet till we are glorified we put not off the infirmities of our humane Na∣ture.

Whilest we are within the reach of troubles, we cannot be without the dan∣ger, nor ought to be without the fear of sin; and it is as hard for us to escape sin, being in adversity, as becalming in prosperity.

How apt we are to transgress the bounds both of Reason and Religion un∣der a sharp affliction, appears, as in most mens experience, so in this Womans ex∣ample, to whose excessive Sorrow, Christ puts a stop in the Text: He saw her, and had Compassion on her, and said to her, Weep not.

The Lamentations and waylings of this distressed mother, moved the tender compassions of the Lord in beholding it, and stirred up more pitty in his heart for her, than could be in her heart for her dear and only Son.

In the words we are to consider, both the Condition of the woman, and the Counsel of Christ with respect unto it.

First, The condition of this Woman, which appears to be very dolorous and distressed; her groans and tears moved and melted the very heart of Christ, to hear and behold them: When he saw her, he had Compassion on her.

How sad an hour it was with her when Christ met her, appears by what is so distinctly remark't by the Evangelist, in ver. 12. where it is said, Now when they came nigh to the Gate of the City, be∣hold, there was a dead man carried out, the only Son of his Mother, and she was a Widdow, and much people of the City was with her.

In this one Verse, divers heart piercing circumstances of this affliction are noted.

First, It was the death of a Son. To bury a child, * 1.1 any child, must needs rend the heart of a tender Pa∣rent; for what are children but the pa∣rent multiplied: a child is a part of the parent made up in another skin. But to lay a Son in the grave, A Son which con∣tinues the name, and supports the family; this was ever accounted a very great affli∣ction.

Secondly, This Son was not carried from the Cradle to the Coffin, nor stript out of its Swathing, to be wrapt in its Winding cloaths: Had he dyed in infancy, before he had engaged affection, or raised expectation, the affliction had not been so pungent and cutting, as now it was. Death smote this Son in the flower and

Prime of his time. He was a man (saith the Evangelist) ver. 12. a young man, (as Christ calls him) ver. 14. he was now arrived * 1.2 at that age which made him capable of yeild∣ing his Mother all that comfort which had been the expectation and hope of many years, and the re∣ward and fruit of many cares and Labours: Yet then when the endearments were greatest, and her hopes highest, even in the flow∣er of his age, he is cut off. Thus Basil bewayled the death of his Son:

Filius mihi erat adolescens, solus vi∣taesuccessor, solatium senectae, gloria gene∣ris, flos aequalium, fulcrum domu, saeta∣tem gratiosissimam agebat: hic raptus periit, qui paulo ante jucundam vo∣cem edebat, & ju∣cundissimum specta∣culum parentis o∣culis erat.

I once had a Son who was a young man, my only suc∣cessor, the solace of my age, the glory of his kind, the prop of my family, arri∣ved to the endear∣ing age: then was he snatcht from me by death, whose lovely voice but a little before I heard, who lately was a pleasant spectacle to his Parent.

Reader, if this have been thine own con∣dition, as it hath been his that writes it; I need say no more to convince thee, that it was a sorrowful State indeed Christ met this tender Mother in.

Thirdly, And which is yet more, he was not only * 3.1 a Son, but an only Son: so you find in ver. 12. He was the only Son of his Mother: One in whom all her hopes and Comforts of that kind were bound up. For,

Omnis in Ascanio stat chari cura Parentis. All her * 3.2 affections were contracted into this one object. If we have never so many chil∣dren, we know not which of them to spare. If they * 3.3 stand like Olive plants a∣bout our Table, it would grieve us to see the least twigg amongst them bro∣ken down. But surely the death of one out of many, is much more tolerable than of all in one.

Hence its noted in Scripture as the greatest of earthly Sorrows, Jer. 6. 26. O daughter of my people gird thee with Sackcloth, and wallow thy self in Ashes.

Make thee mourning as for an onely Son, most bitter Lamentation. Yea, so deep and penetrating is this grief that the holy Ghost borrows it to express the deepest spritual troubles by it. Zech. 12. 10, They shall mourn for him, (namely Christ whom they pierced) as one mourneth for an only Son.

Fourthly, And yet to heighten the afflliction it * 3.4 is super added, ver. 12. And she was a Widdow. So that the staff of her age, on whom she leaned was broken: She had now none left to comfort or as∣sist her in her helpless comfortless State of Widdowhood; which is a condition not only void of comfort, but exposed to op∣pression and contempt.

Yea, and being a Widdow, the whole burden lay upon her alone; she had not an Husband to comfort her, as Elkana did Hannah in 1 Sam. 1. 8. Why weepest thou? and why is thy heart grieved? ••m not I more to thee than ten Sons? This would have been a great relief; but her Husband was dead as well as her Son: both gone, and she only surviving, to la∣ment the loss of those comforts that once

she had. Her calamities came not single, but one after another, and this reviving and aggravating the former. This was her case and condition when the Lord met her.

Secondly, Let us consider the Councel which Christ gives her, with respect to this hersad and sorrowful case. And when the Lord saw her, he had Compassion on her, and said unto her, Weep not: Relie∣ving and Supporting words, wherein we shall consider,

The

• Occasion.
• Motive.
• Councel it self.

First, The occasion of it, and that was his seeing of her. This meeting at the Gate of the City, how accidental and occasional soever it seems, yet without doubt it was providentially suited to the work intended to be wrought: The eye of his Omniscience foresaw her, and this meeting was by him designed, as an oc∣••••sion of that famous Miracle which he wrought upon the young man. Christ hath a quick eye to discern poor mourn∣ing and disconsolate Creatures: and though he be now in Heaven, and stands

out of our sight, so that we see him not; yet he sees us; and his eye (which is upon all our troubles) still affects his heart, and moves his bowels for us.

Secondly, The Motive stirring him up to give this relieving and comfortable Councel to her, was his own Compassion. She neither expected, nor desired it from him; but so full of tender pittty was the Lord towards her, that he prevents her with unexpected consolation: Her heart was nothing so full of compassion for her Son, as Christ was for her: He bore our infirmities, even natural as well as moral ones, in the dayes of his flesh; and though he be now exalted to the highest glory, yet still he continues as merciful as ever, and as apt to be touched with the sense of our miseries, Heb. 4. 15.

Lastly, The Councel it self, Weep not, herein fulfilling the office of a Comforter to them that mourn, whereunto he was anointed, Isa. 61. 1, 2, 3. Yet the words are not an absolute prohibition of tears and sorrow; he doth not Condemn ••ll mourning as sinful, or all expressions of grief for dead Relations as uncomely: no, Christ would not have his people stupid and insensate; he only prohibits the ex∣cesses and extravagancies of our sorrows

for the dead, that it should not be such a mourning for the dead as is found a∣mong the Heathens, who sorrow with∣out measure, because without hope, be∣ing ignorant of that grand relief by the Resurrection which the Gospel re∣veals.

The Resurrection of her Son from the dead, is the ground upon which Christ builds her consolation and reliefe. Well might he say, Weep not, when he inten∣ded quickly to remove the cause of her tears by restoring him again to life.

Now though there be somewhat in this case extraordinary and peculiar; for few or none that carry their dear chil∣dren to the grave, may expect to receive them again from the dead immediately by a special resurrection, as she did: I say this is not to be expected by any that now loose their Relations; the occasion and reasons of such miraculous special resur∣rections being removed, by a sufficient and full evidence and confirmation of Christs divine power and Godhead: Yet those that now bury their Relations, if they be such as dye in Christ, have as good and sufficient reason to moderate their passions, as this mourner had, and do as truly come within the reach and compass

of this Christs comfortable and sup∣porting councel, Weep not, as the did; For do but consider, what of support or com∣fort, can a particular and present Resur∣rection from the dead give us, more than that it is, and as it is a Specimen, hansell, or pledge of the general Resurrection? It is not the returning of the soul to its body, to live an Animal life again in this world of sin and sorrow, and shortly after to undergo the agonies and pains of death again, that is in it self any such privi∣ledge, as may afford much comfort to the person raised, or his Relations: It is no priviledge to the person raised; for it re∣turns him from rest to trouble, from the harbour back again into the Ocean. It is matter of trouble to many dying Saints, to hear of the likelyhood of their retur∣ning again, when they are got so nigh to Heaven.

It was once the case of a godly Mini∣ster of this Nation, who was much troub∣led at his return, and said, I am like a sheep driven out of the storm almost to the fold, and then driven back into the storm again: or a weary Traveller that is come near his home, and then must go back to fetch somewhat he had forgotten: or an Apprentice, whose time is almost

expired, and then must begin a new term.

But to die, and then return again from the dead, hath less of priviledge, than to return only from the brink of the grave; for the sick hath not yet felt the agonies and last struggles or pangs ofdeath: but such have felt them once, and must feel them again; they must die twice, be∣fore they can be happy once: and besides, during the little time they spend on earth betwixt the first and second dissolution, there is a perfect 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 forgetfulness and insensibleness of all that which they saw or enjoyed in their state of separation: It being necessary, both for them, and o∣thers that it should be so; for themselves its necessary, that they may be content to live, and endure the time of separation from that * 3.5 blessed and ineffable state, quietly and patiently; and for others, that they may live by faith, and not by sense, and build upon divine and not humane authority and re∣port.

So that here you see, their agonies and pangs are doubled, and yet their life not sweetned by any sense of their happiness which returns and remains with them,

and therefore it can be no such priviledge to them.

And for their Relations, though it be some comfort to receive them again from the dead; yet the consideration, that they are returned to them into the stormy Sea, to partake of new sorrows and troubles, from which they were lately free; and in a short time they must part with them again, and feel the double sorrows of a parting pull, which others feel but once: surely such a particular Resurrection con∣sidered in it self, is no such ground of comfort as at first we might imagine it to be.

It remains then, that the ground of all solid Comfort and reliefe against the death of our Relations, lyes in the General and last * 3.6 Resurrection, and what is in a particular one, is but as it is a Specimen, and evi∣dence of the general: and there the Apostle places our relief, 1 Thes. 4. 17. that we shall see & enjoy them again at the Lords coming. And surely this is more, than if with this Mother (in the Text) we should presently receive them from the dead, as she did her Son: And if we judge not so, it is because our hearts

are carnal, and measure things rather by time, and sense, than by faith and eter∣nity.

Thus you see the Councel, with its ground, which for the most part is com∣mon to other Christian mourners with her; the difference being but inconside∣rable, and of little advantage.

Here then you find many aggravations of sorrow meeting together; A Son, an only Son, is carrying to the grave, yet Christ commands the pensive Mother, not to Mourn.

Hence we note,

Doct. That Christians ought to mode∣rate their Sorrows for their dead Relations, how many afflicting circumstances and ag∣gravations soever do meet together in their Death.

It is as common with * 3.7 men, yea, with good men, to exceed in their sorrows for dead Relations, as it is to exceed in their loves and delights to living Relations; and both of the one and other, we may say as they say of waters, It's hard to confine them within their bounds. It is therefore grave

advice which the Apostle delivers in this case, 1 Cor. 7. 29, 30, But this I say Bre∣thren, the time is short, It remaineth, that both they that have Wives, be as though they had none, and they that weep, as though they wept not, and those that rejoyce, as though they rejoyced not. As if he had said, the floating world is near its port: God hath contracted the sailes of * 3.8 mans life: its but a point of time we have to live, and shortly it will not be a point to choose, whether we had wives or not, children or not: all these are time-eaten things, and before the expected fruit of these comforts be ripe, we our selves may be rotten. Its therefore an high point of Wisdom, to look upon things which shortly will not be, as if already they were not, and to behave our selves in the loss of these carnal enjoyments, as the natural man behaves himself in the use of spiri∣tual Ordinances: He hears as if he heard not, and we should weep as if we wept not; Their affections are a little moved sometimes by spiritual things, but they never lay them so to heart, as to be bro∣ken hearted for the sin they hear of, or deeply affected with the glory revealed: We also ought to be sensible of the stroke

God upon our dear Relations: but yet still we must weep, as if we wept not; that is, we must keep due bounds and mo∣deration in our sorrows, and not be too deeply concerned for these dying short∣liv'd things.

To this purpose the Apostle exhorts, Heb. 12. 5, My Son despise not the chasten∣ing of the Lord; neither faint when thou art rebuked of him. These are two ex∣treams, despising, and fainting: when God is correcting, to say, I do not re∣gard it, let God take all if he will; if my estate must go, let it go; if my children dy, let them dye: this is to despise the Lords chastening: and God cannot bear it, that we should bear it thus lightly.

There is also another extream, and that is Fainting: if when goods are ta∣ken away, the heart be taken away, and when children dye, then the spirit of the Parent dyes also; this is fainting under the rod. Thou lamentest (saith Seneca) thy deceased friend, but I would not have thee grieve beyond what is meet: That thou shouldst not grieve at all, I dare not require thee; tears may be excused, if they do not exceed: Let thine eyes there∣fore be neither wholly dry, nor yet let them overflow; Weep thou maist, but Wayle thou must not.

Happy man that still keeps the golden bridle of moderation upon his passions and affections, and still keeps the pos∣session of himself, whatsoever he looseth the possession of.

Now the the method in which I pur∣pose to proceed shall be,

• 1. To discover the Signes of immo∣derate Sorrow.
• 2. To disswade from the sin of immo∣derate Sorrow.
• 3. To remove the pleas of immo∣derate Sorrow.
• 4. To propose the cure of immo∣derate Sorrow.

Notes

• * 1.1

  〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉. Graec Comic.
• * 1.2

  In adolescentia defunctus fuit, ideo plus dolen∣dum fuerat, quia in flore aetatis suae fuit, et cum grandi labore ac solicitudine pa∣rentum ad istam aetatem perduct∣us. Dion. Cath. in loc.
• * 3.1

  Mortem levins toleraret, si non unicus fuisset; si alter qui pa∣rentis dolorem leniret superfu∣isset. Ambros.
• * 3.2

  Virgil.
• * 3.3

  Nibil charius u∣nico filio: sic do∣lor de morte ip∣sius intenfissimus existit. Carthus. in Loc.
• * 3.4

  Duplici nomine charissimus fuit tum quod esset unigenitus tum quod esset sola∣tium, & quasi bacūlus viduita∣tis ipsius. Pisc. in Loc.
• * 3.5

  Victurosque dii celant, ut vivere durent.
• * 3.6

  In eo futurae re∣surrectionis il∣lustre habemus Specimen. Cal. in Loc.
• * 3.7

  Quae ardenter diligimus habi∣ta, graviter sus∣piramus amissa. Greg. mor.
• * 3.8

  〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉.