The pisse-prophet, or, Certaine pisse-pot lectures Wherein are newly discovered the old fallacies, deceit, and jugling of the pisse-pot science, used by all those (whether quacks and empiricks, or other methodicall physicians) who pretend knowledge of diseases, by the urine, in giving judgement of the same. By Tho. Brian, M.P. lately in the citie of London, and now in Colchester in Essex. Never heretofore published by any man in the English tongue.

THE PREFACE, To the Right Honourable, right Worshipfull, whether more or lesse dignified, who have been or here∣after may be my Patients, as also to the courteous or discourteous Reader.

YOur Honour, Worship, or other Worthinesse whatsoever (good Reader) hath often heard it spo∣ken from the mouth of many a well-read and experienced man in Physicke, That (Urina est meretrix, vel mendax) the Vrine is an Harlot, or a Lier; and that there is no certaine knowledge of any Disease to be gathered from the Vrine alone, nor any safe judgement to be exhibited by the same: You have been (likewise) often told, by Physicians, that it were farre better for the Physician to see his Patient once than to view

〈…〉〈…〉 (who tell you so) to entertaine the Vrine as the onely Index and discoverer of Diseases to pro∣no•••••••• their opinion of the 〈…〉〈…〉 Dis∣ease by it, and to accept of being accounted skil∣full 〈…〉〈…〉 lear∣ned Physicians 〈…〉〈…〉 written dive••s Tracts therein 〈…〉〈…〉 dangers of ta∣king Physick 〈…〉〈…〉 sight of the 〈…〉〈…〉 dispossesse men of that fond opinion, of a Physicians dis∣cerning diseases by it, wherewith they have been so long time deluded. To this purpose hath Dr Cotta written a Booke (called, A short dis∣coverie of the unobserved dangers of se∣verall sorts of ignorant and (inconside∣rate practisers of Physicke in England) wherein, amongst other Tracts of the 〈◊〉〈◊〉 abusers of Physicke, he hath written one Tra∣ctate of the Conjectours by Vrines: therein shewing the falshood, and 〈◊〉〈◊〉 judgment of Diseases by the Vrine. He hath also therein set downe the ingenuous confession of a dying Physician (made to him being then present with him some three or foure dayes before his depar∣ture)

〈◊〉〈◊〉, who, being requested to commend unto 〈…〉〈…〉 that skill by which hee had beene so 〈◊〉〈◊〉 admired and esteemed, for judging 〈◊〉〈◊〉 to be with childe by their Vrine, made this ans••er. I have (saith he) long with the fe∣licity of a good opinion exercised it, and with tryed certainty know it to be uncertainty, and certaine deceit: It is therefore unworthy po∣sterity, and the name of Art. Reade the Tract above mentioned, and you shall see this confessi∣on further amplified. If you please to take my confession too, you shall have it: I for mine owne part have been so fortunate herein, that I have seldome failed an my predictions of determining a woman to be with childe by the Vrine, as I have made them beleeve, when the messenger hath been able to certifie me of the state of the Womans body, and could answer me to certaine other questions touching other signes of concep∣tion. Above all the rest, I was once magnified by a Counsellors wife for this cunning cozenage (I am not ashamed to terme it so) at a festivall meeting at Canterbury, in the presence of two (as I take it) other Doctours of Physicke: She told them to their faces that I was the cun∣ningst Doctour in all the Towne, for I had told her by her water that she was with child, and

just how long it was since she conceived of it▪ But had the woman shew'd me (that brought it) no more than the Vrine did, I should scarce have adventured to have pronounced her to have been with childe: Yet I might (knowing the Gentlewoman, how long it was since she had a child, and the distance that she commonly kept in child-bearing, as also that she nursed her children her selfe) have pronounced her, and that upon some probable conjecture, to have beene with child, though the messenger could not have an∣swered me to such interrogatives (as we use to demand of them before we pronounce a woman to be with childe) nor the Vrine shew (as it doth not) any thing concerning conception at all. I dare say, that the good Gentlewoman is very con∣fident that I determined her to be with childe by the sight of her Vrine onely, because I did not intimate any thing to the contrary: Neither is she to be so much blamed for her credulity, as I for my jugling. But to make her and other good women amends (whom I have thus beguil'd) I have in this ensuing Tract set downe the fal∣lacies, by which I judged her, and every other Physician doth judge every other woman to be with childe; as also, by which we give judge∣ment of the Disease, Sex, and the like, seeming

to doe it onely by the Vrine: which have not heretofore beene published (though too much practized of most) by any man in the English tongue. Doctour Hart (in his Booke intituled The Anatomie of Urines) hath by suffici∣ent argument and demonstration, confuted the Pisse-Canons, or Conjectures of Vrines, taken from the severall accidents of the same (as the severall colours, parts, contents, substance, quantity, smell) and shewed their falshood in all these, and the many absurdities that have been committed by pretending knowledge of Dis∣eases by all these; I thought it likewise fit to set downe the fallacies; by which judgement of Diseases is given by the Vrine, to the end that the writings of other men (who have written against this base custome of Water-prophesy∣ing) may gaine the more credit, and for the further satisfaction of such as yet remaine doubtfull whether there be any judgment to be taken from the Vrine sufficient to deter∣mine the disease. To this end therefore I have set downe the fallacies which have upheld this custome of prating, and predicating strange things by the Vrine: And I have pen'd them in the English tongue, because that meere Eng∣lishmen (I meane the common people) who un∣derstand

English only, are and ever have ben most subject to be deceived 〈◊〉〈◊〉 deluded. I hope therefore that no Artist will be offended hereat, for I dare say that there is no ingenuous man, but is of mine opinion, and would as gladly (as I my selfe) that this base custome, of Lecturing upon the Vrine, were overthrowne and abroga∣ted. What I have therefore done to this pur∣pose, I intreat the courteous Reader to accept in as good part, as I have been willing to im∣part the same: And for as much as I have been guilty of this fraud, though I have not long used it, let it suffice that it repenteth me of the same, for I meane never hereafter to shew my cunning, or rather cozening, upon the water, and hope that other men will helpe to beate down this custome, or else all that I have written will be to little purpose. However it will some thing delight the understanding and impartiall Rea∣der, and might profit the ignorant, if they ••ould make use of it to that end for which it 〈◊〉〈◊〉 penn'd. As for the stile, and method of 〈◊〉〈◊〉 it is poore and meane; but such as best 〈◊〉〈◊〉 with such a poore, base, and stinking 〈◊〉〈◊〉 I have been enforced a little beyond my 〈◊〉〈◊〉 nature, and disposition, to bee somewhat 〈…〉〈…〉 in lecturing upon the Vrine, for which

cause I may incurre censure of the graver and more modest people: If I have herein offended, I crave their pardon, for I could not well avoid it: And let them not taxe me of levity, or lasciviousnesse, for my life and conversation hath, and shall for ever testifie the contrary. Howbeit I can claime no priviledge from back∣biters, nor immunity from malignant tongues; I refuse to be tryed by a prejudicate opinion, or the malignant spirit of contradiction; and appeale unto the learned, judicious, and im∣partiall Reader, to whom (if I have erred) for it is Humanum errare) I submit for cen∣sure; if need be, for correction. And for as much as (I feare) that the greatest detract∣ours that I shall finde (though it be an old saying that the Arts, Nullum habent ini∣micum praeter ignorantem, have no enemy but the ignorant man) are offenders in this kinde; I admonish you (brother Pisse-Pro∣phet) that you be not too busie in playing the Criticke upon mee, because I have (in con∣fessing mine owne folly) reproved your wicked∣nesse, which you will hardly forsake. As for the censure of the ignorant (whom you help to re∣tain in this prejudicate opinion) I regard it not. Hos oblatrantes caniculos cum con∣temptu,

〈…〉〈…〉 I psse by these barking Curres (as the lion doth) with 〈◊〉〈◊〉 But if you 〈◊〉〈◊〉(whose gall'd back i have rub'd, and whose sore I have lanced) who are conscious to your selfe of your owne guiltinesse herein, I shall rub harder and lance deeper: and yet (if you kick over-much) I shall finde a Lash to quiet you. I pray therefore let me have your good word, lest you need mine. And so in hope that the learned, judicious, and impartiall Reader will pardon my errours, and that the ignorant Reader will become wiser, and that the delin∣quent Reader will become honester, I rest▪

Yours, T. B.