The theater of the Popes monarchie wherein is described as well the vncleane liues of that wicked generation, as also their Antichristian gouernment, and vsurped kingdome : togeather with their horrible superstition, and blasphemous religion, as it is now vsed at this present, where Antichrist the Pope & his members do beare rule / by Phillip Stubbes.

Of the Popes Consistorie Courtes, with the abuses thereof.

Stuperius.

HE hath courtes of diuers and sun∣drie kindes, the seuerall abuses whereof, if I should particularly intreat of, I should rather want time then mat∣ter. And therefore I will speake but on∣ly a worde or two concerning his consi∣storie

court, the warehouse of al his hor∣rible fraud, cosonage & deceite. In this court,* 1.1 for money, croked things ar made straight, rough, smoth, truth, falshoode, falshood truth, light darknesse, darknesse light, as pleaseth the master of the fees. Heere golde striketh the stroke, siluer wayes downe the ballance, and friend∣ship, bribes, and giftes carrie the palme of victorie away. Heere such marriages as Gods word knitteth together, are dis¦solued and broken: and such mariages as Gods worde doth separate are vni∣ted together. In this baudie Courte are such filthie matters handeled,* 1.2 as chaste eares would blush once to heare spoken of, continent sober minds would shame once to thinke of, and shamefast lippes would bashe to vtter or speake of. And yet wyll these Romish Doctours (Doc∣tours of bawdrie) laughe at them tyll they chynke agayne.* 1.3 Out of thys Consistorie Courte of Faculties the Quauemyre of all abhomination there bee graunted licences too marrie with whome,* 1.4 where, and when thou wylte, for money, although it be thy own sister,

and at any time of the yeere, as well at times prohibited,* 1.5 as not prohibited, li∣cences to eate flesh in lent, or any tyme els, licences to stand with thy cap vpon thy head in the Church, at time of highe masse, licences to mary as many wiues as thou wilt, licences to commit whore∣dome, adulterie, and incest at thy plea∣sure, to keepe whores, & harlots besides thy wife, licences to cōmit Sodomitrie & buggery, licences to rob, to steale, too murther, to slap, & kill, to sweare, & blas¦pheme the sacred name of god: licences to haue as many benefices as thou canst get, licences to discontinue frō thy Be∣nefices. And to conclude, there is no deed so haynous, no fact so pernitious, nor any crime so infamous, but for mo∣ney thou maist haue a licēce in this court safely to commit it, & not only to cōmit it, but also to liue, and continue in it. Fi∣nally, in this court mayest thou haue a licence,* 1.6 a tolleration, a quallification, & dispensation for any thing, & when thou hast doone, for money thou shalt haue a fayre absolution graunted thee vnder hand and seale manuel, to be discharged

& set free à culpa & poena,* 1.7 that is, both from the Faulte or Sinne committed, and also from the punishment or guilte, due for the same. Therefore what nee∣dest thou to care what thou doest? For if thou hast money enough,* 1.8 feare not, thou shalt not onely haue absolution, and par∣don for all thy sinnes, but also in the end shalte bee chruste intoo heauen whether thou wilt or not. Such force hath money in this court.

Phile.

Bee there many officers in this cou••te?

Stupe.

Yea a great many: but be∣cause I will not bee tedious, I wyl speake but of one onely: namely the of∣ficiall. This Officiall (I may tell you) is no small foole in this court,* 1.9 but euen such a fellow as ruleth all wyth a beck. Hym must you please (I hadde welnigh sayde grease) wyth money, bribes, and gyftes: if at least you euer meane too haue good of your Suite: hee onely is the yolke of the egge (as they say) or as it were the ryght hand of the Bishoppe. By hym the Byshoppe casteth foorthe his flashing thunderboltes of citations,* 1.10

suspensiōs, excommunications, and the like, whē no cause requireth it, agaynst better men then himselfe. But howsoe∣uer it falleth out, if thou bee once cited to appeare in this courte, I warne thee (aboue all thinges) to carry argent e∣nough with thee,* 1.11 and then I warraunt thee, thou shalt speed better then if the matter were such, that all lawes were on thy side. Then needest thou 〈…〉〈…〉 care,* 1.12 whether thy matter bee right or wrong, all is one for that if thou haste money enough. And thus much concer∣ning the Popes consistorie courte, the officers, and abuses of the same.

Philemon.

I haue hearde talke of certaine Popysh Cha••ons, I pray you what bee they?

Notes

• * 1.1

  The discriptiō of the Popes consistorie court.
• * 1.2

  Baudy matters handled in the popes consisto∣ry court.
• * 1.3

  Doctors of baudry.
• * 1.4

  What thinges be graunted foorth of this consistorie court of the pope.
• * 1.5

  Fruites of the popes courte.
• * 1.6

  All thinges in the popes courts to be had for money
• * 1.7

  Poena & culpa
• * 1.8

  The pope for money wyll thruste thee into heauen whether thou wilt or no.
• * 1.9

  The official, & hys office.
• * 1.10

  The thunder∣boltes of the romish bishop.
• * 1.11

  Money will serue thy turne dout thou not.
• * 1.12

  Quid non pe∣cunia potest.