Versatile ingenium, The Wittie companion, or Jests of all sorts. From citie and countrie, court and universitie. : With an account of the life of the laughing philosopher Democritus of Abder̀a. / By Democritus Junior.

The French-man & the Baker's wife.

A Frenchman not long since took a Lodging ne∣ar a Baker, who though poor, yet very rich in having so handsom a Woman to his Wife, and was never blemisht in her reputation by any light deportment. This Frenchman presently had her in his Eye, and courted her importunitely, and ex∣pensively, but to no purpose; Treats proving in∣effectnal, he offered her Fifty Guinney's if she would permit him to lye with her all night, she refused it, but privately told her Husband what Monsieur had offered her, and upon what account; the Baker scratcht his head not knowing what to do; Poverty perswaded on the one side, and love hindred on the other from acceping this proffer; at length said he, dearest, there is a way to be thought on to save thy chastity, and yet we will have his money, and that is thus: I will pretend to go out of Town such a day, then do you upon the condition aforesaid promise Monsieur his satisfaction the night following, in the mean time, you know Tow—the Cobler, a stout fellow, him will I engage with five pounds to assist me, we will have each of us a good broad Sword, and thus armed we will creep underneath your Bed, and when the French-man hath paid you the Gold (which you must have first) and he is just going to bed we will crawl out and surprise him. It was generally agreed, and Monsieur had notice of

the assignation, who though he understood that the husband was gone out of town, yet he feared an ambuscado, and therefore carried a brace of Pistols with him, besides a good Rapier. Entring the Room, he caressed her, a la mode de France, and being ve∣ry fiery, he could suffer no delays but giving her the Gold, ordered her to make what haste she could to bed, and he would follow after. In the first pla∣ce he drew out his Pistols and laid them by him, and then undrest himself, seeing her in bed, he takes up his Sword and Pistols and advanceth towards her, she seeing him in that posture, askt him what he meant? No ting Madam of harm, only me love to have all de Arms, me sord by mee side, me Pis∣stools in mee haunds, and de Dagger before, when me go to take a Citadel or Fort, and laying down his Sword, by his bed side, he skipt into bed with his Pistols and laid them just over her head; not to lose time, be storm'd the Fort, and took it, and notwithstanding he was several times beaten out of the breach was made in the assault, yet he boldly entred again and took possession. The poor Cuc∣kold (and the Cobler who lay underneath the Bed) could not but hear what was doing above, yet durst not stir for their lives, nay not so much as whisper, for fear of being heard; Monsieur having gone through stitch with his work, and tired to boot, le∣apt out of bed with his Pistols, and taking up his Sword, went to the farther end of the room and drest himself, having so done, he calls to his reaking Miss, bidding her to come to him, she excused her self, saying she was in a great sweat, and might catch her death thereby, but seeing Monsieur grow resolute, she obeyed. Monsieur hereupon clapt a Pistol to her breast, saying, Begar Mrs. Bish-Fox, give me my Gold, begar if you will not—for lo∣ve,

begar you shall never have my money, and so taking the Guinny's from her, went couragiously down the stairs to his Lodging. Monsieur being gone, out crawls the Cowardly Cobler, and the Cuckoldly Coward, each blaming one another, and both the woman; what would you have me to do quoth she, since he lay atop of me, and what would you have us to do said they, since you both did lye a Top of us; well Husband all that I can say is, by this covetous stratagem of yours, you have made me a Whore; Proved that mighty man your friend a rank Coward, and your self an unpardonable Cuckolk.