Versatile ingenium, The Wittie companion, or Jests of all sorts. From citie and countrie, court and universitie. : With an account of the life of the laughing philosopher Democritus of Abder̀a. / By Democritus Junior.

(43.)

At such time when Perriwigs were as scarce as money is now amongst poor men, a Gentleman, who had lost his hair by a fit of sickness, was forced

with the first to make use of one of them, It happe∣ned that he and his boy that attended on him, ride∣ing down into the countrey, there fell such a showr of rain, which continued so long, as necessitated them to take up their lodging at a paltrie Alehouse in a countrie village, where seeing the weather to prove so bad, he was resolv'd to lie for that night, af∣ter some short commons, which went by the name of a supper, the Gentleman was conducted to his lodging-chamber, which was hung with cobwebs, instead of cloath of Arras, his boy also was shewn to another chamber, something inferiour you may be sure to that of his masters, which was also richly hang'd with spiders tapestrie, whilst the Gentleman was makeing himself unready, the maid peeped in at a hole under the door, (which was made for the Cat to go out and in) that when he was a bed, she might fetch away the candle. Haveing undrest him∣self, he pulls off his Perriwig, and sets it upon a stool by him, which the maid percieving, verily i∣magined that he had pulled off his head, and so con∣ceited she was of it, that she ran down to her Dame, telling her, that the Gentleman, who lodg∣ed there, was no other than an arrant conjurer, for she saw him with her own eyes to pull off his head, and set it upon the stool by him, and if she doubted any thing of the truth thereof, if she would go up she might see it standing there at that present. Her Dame, though something a nullifidian of what she heard, yet to satisfie her maids curiositie, went up, where peeping likewise in at the hole, and seeing it upon the stool, she was then of the same opinion with her maid; and so fearfull they were both there∣of, that neither of them durst fetch the candle, but the Gentleman was forced to put it out himself. That night was spent in a great deal of fear, they

judging that bad weather to proceed from the Con∣jurer, and expecting yet worss: but when in the morning they saw all fair, and a serene sky, they changed their opinion, and that though he was a conjurer, yet that now he would do no more harm: Whilst they were now entered into this good opi∣nion of him, one of her neighbours came in, who had lost a horse, whom he judged to be stole, for which he made a great complaint: Hold your peace, said she, I can tell you a way which I warrant you will fetch your horse again: We have a conjurer that is now lodged in our house, who for half a do∣zen of beer, I question not but will do your busi∣ness: and therewithal she went up to the Gentle∣man, acquainting him with her neighbours loss, and desireing his assistance for the gaining him a∣gain; for, said she, I know you have skill in the black Art, my maid and I seeing your head last night up∣on the stool, when as the rest of your bodie was gon to bed. The Gentleman percieving her folly in her grand mistake, and willing to have some mirth af∣ter his wet journey, told her, that for her sake he would do his best endeavour for her neighbour; and that when he was readie, he would raise a Spirit which should quickly tell him where the horse was. The woman overjoyed at these words, ran down and told her neighbour that he should have his horse again within an hour, and that if he would stay so long, he should see him come galloping to him a∣gain in a full carriere: This news pleased the fellow so well, that he resolved to stay. In the mean time the Gentleman was consulting with him self how to bring his purpose the best way to effect; in order thereto, he told his boy that he must act the part of a Devil; and to personate him the better, Whilst I am gon down, said he, to speak with him about the

business, do you turn your coat the wrong-side out∣wards, and creep under the bed, where you must lie till I speak these words, Elhavareuna, Phonsontho∣ohia, Heidon cus Towronus Dungeonis Keptoribus; then do you come forth from under the bed, and make as hideous a noise with your mouth as you can possi∣ble. The boy promised to do as he bad him: and when his master was gon down, he went about his business; but remembring with him self, that in the chamber where he lodged, there lay a raw bulls-hide left there by some butcher, thought that would per∣sonate the Devil far better than his coat; and there∣upon he suddenly fetched it, and wrapped himself therein, with the horns appearing just over his head; which haveing don, he crope under the bed, expect∣ing the event: soon after he was fixt, came up his master, the dame, the maid, and the fellow that had lost his horse; when the Gentleman haveing a chalk-stone in his hand, marked them everie one out a circle; then placeing them therein, he bid them not to stir out of them whatsoever they saw: so pulling a book out of his pocket, he began to read some hard uncouth names, and at last came to those words, Elhavareuna, &c. when the boy made his appearance from under the bed, with a great pair of horns and a bellowing noise: his master, who knew not of his boys new invention for acting the devil, seeing such a hideous thing to appear, thought it had been the Devil indeed, who had come to have punisht him for undertakeing to conjure, and there∣upon he ran as fast as he could drive, makeing but one step from the top of the stairs to the bottom: the women and the man seeing the Gentleman to run, thought likewise the Devil was come to fetch them for being spectators, and thereupon ran as fast as he, tumbling down the stairs one upon the neck

of another: the boy seeing them all to run in such disorder, thought also that the Devil was indeed come for him for acting his part, and therefore he began to throw off his coverture; but he had before so fastened it unto him, that seeing he could not pull it off, he ran with it on, when coming to the top of the stairs, the hide so wrapped about his legs, as threw him from the top to the bottom amongst them, when they hearing the horns to make a clat∣tering, so shrieked and bellowed as if the Devil had been amongst them indeed. Sad was the effects of this their conjuring: one had his nose broke, ano∣ther his shin, some hurt their elbows, some their thighs, and others their backs, the Gentleman lost his perriwig, the women fell with their heels up∣wards, and to conclude, not anie one of them sped so well, but he had more occasion for a surgeon than a conjurer,