The first [second] book of the works of Mr. Francis Rabelais, Doctor in Physick, containing five books of the lives, heroick deeds, and sayings of Gargantua, and his sonne Pantagruel. Together with the Pantagrueline prognostication, the oracle of the divine Bachus, and response of the bottle. Hereunto are annexed the navigations unto the sounding isle, and the isle of the Apedests: as likewise the philosophical cream with a Limosm epistle. / All done by Mr. Francis Rabelais, in the French tongue, and now faithfully translated into English.

CHAP. XXXVI. How Gargantua demolished the Castle at the Ford of Vede, and how they past the Ford.

AS soon as he came, he related the estate and condition wherein they had found the enemie, and the stratagem which he a∣lone had used against all their multitude, af∣firming that they were but rascally rogues, plunderers, thieves and robbers, ignorant of all military discipline, and that they might boldly set forward unto the field; it being an easie matter to fell and strike them down like beasts. Then Gargantua mounted his great Mare, accompanied as we have said be∣fore, and finding in his way a high and great tree, (which commonly was called by the

name of St. Martins tree, because heretofore St. Martin planted a Pilgrims staffe there, which in tract of time grew to that height and greatnesse,) said, This is that which I lacked; this tree shall serve me both for a staffe and lance: with that he pulled it up easily, pluck∣ed off the boughs, and trimmed it at his pleasure: in the mean time his Mare pissed to ease her belly, but it was in such abun∣dance, that it did overflow the countrey seven leagues, and all the pisse of that Uri∣nal flood, ran glib away towards the Ford of Vede, wherewith the water was so swollen, that all the Forces the enemy had there, were with great horrour drowned, except some who had taken the way on the left hand to∣wards the hills. Gargantua being come to the place of the wood of Vede, was informed by Eudemon, that there was some remainder of the enemy within the Castle, which to know, Gargantua cried out as loud as he was able, Are you there, or are you not there? if you be there, be there no more; and if you be not there, I have no more to say. But a ruffian gunner, whose charge was to attend the Portcullis over the gate, let flie a can∣non-ball at him, and hit him with that shot most furiously on the right temple of his head, yet did him no more hurt, then if he had but cast a prune or kernel of a wine-grape at him: What is this? (said Gargantua)

do you throw at us grape-kernels here? the Vintage shall cost you dear, thinking indeed that the bullet had been the kernel of a grape, or raisin-kernel.

Those who were within the Castle, being till then busie at the pillage, when they heard this noise, ran to the towers and for∣tresses, from whence they shot at him above nine thousand and five and twenty falcon∣shot and harcabusades, aiming all at his head, and so thick did they shoot at him, that he cried out, Ponocrates my friend, these flies here are like to put out mine eyes, give me a branch of those willow-trees to drive them away, thinking that the bullets and stones shot out of the great ordnance had been but dunflies. Ponocrates looked and saw that there were no other flies, but great shot which they had shot from the Castle. Then was it that he, rusht with his great tree a∣gainst the Castle, and with mighty blowes overthrew both towers and fortresses, and laid all level with the ground, by which meanes all that were within were slaine and broken in pieces. Going from thence, they came to the bridge at the Mill, where they found all the Ford covered with dead bo∣dies, so thick, that they had choaked up the Mill, and stopped the current of its water, and these were those that were destroyed in the Urinal deluge of the Mare. There they

were at a stand, consulting how they might passe without hinderance by these dead car∣casses. But Gymnast said, If the devils have past there, I will passe well enough. The de∣vils have past there (said Eudemon,) to carry away the damned soules. By St. Rhenian (said Ponocrates,) then by necessary conse∣quence he shall passe there: Yes, yes, (said Gymnastes) or I shall stick in the way: then set∣ting spurs to his horse, he past through free∣ly, his horse not fearing, nor being any thing affrighted at the sight of the dead bo∣dies; for he had accustomed him (according to the doctrine of Aelian) not to feare ar∣mour, nor the carcasses of dead men; and that not by killing men as Diomedes did the Thracians, or as Ulysses did in throwing the Corpses of his enemies at his horses feet, as Homer saith, but by putting a Jack-a-lent a∣mongst his hay, & making him go over it or∣dinarily, when he gave him his oates. The other three followed him very close, except Eudemon only, whose horses foreright or far forefoot, sank up to the knee in the paunch of a great fat chuffe, who lay there upon his back drowned, and could not get it out: there was he pestered, until Gargan∣tua with the end of his staffe thrust down the rest of the Villains tripes into the water, whilest the horse pulled out his foot; and (which is a wonderful thing in Hippiatrie,)

the said horse was throughly cured of a ringbone which he had in that foot, by this touch of the burst guts of that great loobie.