The first [second] book of the works of Mr. Francis Rabelais, Doctor in Physick, containing five books of the lives, heroick deeds, and sayings of Gargantua, and his sonne Pantagruel. Together with the Pantagrueline prognostication, the oracle of the divine Bachus, and response of the bottle. Hereunto are annexed the navigations unto the sounding isle, and the isle of the Apedests: as likewise the philosophical cream with a Limosm epistle. / All done by Mr. Francis Rabelais, in the French tongue, and now faithfully translated into English.

CHAP. XXVII. How a Monk of Sevile saved the Closse of the Abbey from being ransacked by the enemie.

SO much they did, and so farre they went pillaging and stealing, that at last they came to Sevile, where they robbed both men and women, and took all they could catch: nothing was either too hot or too heavie for them. Although the plague was there in the most part of all the houses, they neverthe∣lesse entered every where; then plundered and carried away all that was within; and yet for all this not one of them took any hurt, which is a most wonderful case. For the Curates, Vicars, Preachers, Physicians, Chirurgions and Apothecaries, who went to visit, to dresse, to cure, to heale, to preach unto, and admonish those that were sick were all dead of the infection; and these devillish robbers and murtherers caught ne∣ver any harme at all. Whence comes this to passe, (my masters) I beseech you think upon it? the town being thus pillaged, they

went unto the Abbey with a horrible noise and tumult, but they found it shut and made fast against them; whereupon the body of the army marched forward towards a passe or ford called the Sue de vede, except seven companies of foot, and two hundred lan∣ciers, who staying there, broke down the walls of the Closse, to waste, spoile and make havock of all the Vines and Vintage within that place. The Monks (poor devils) knew not in that extremity to which of all their Sancts they should vow themselves; never∣thelesse, at all adventures they rang the bells ad capitulum capitulantes: there it was de∣creed, that they should make a faire Processi∣on, stnssed with good lectures, prayers and letanies, contra hostium insidias, and jollie responses pro pace.

There was then in the Abbey a claustral Monk, called Freer Ihon of the funnels and gobbets, in French des entoumeures, young, gallant, frisk, lustie, nimble, quick, active, bold, adventurous, resolute, tall, lean, wide-mouthed, long-nosed, a faire dispatcher of morning prayers, unbridler of masses, and runner over of vigils: and to conclude sum∣marily in a word, a right Monk, if ever there was any, since the Monking world monked a Monkerie: for the rest a Clerk, even to the teeth in matter of breviary. This Monk hearing the noise that the enemy made with∣in

the inclosure of the Vineyard, went out to see what they were doing; and perceiving that they were cutting and gathering the grapes, whereon was grounded the foun∣dation of all their next yeares wine, return∣ed unto the quire of the Church where the other Monks were, all amazed and astonish∣ed like so many Bell-melters, whom when he heard sing, im, nim, pe, ne, ne, ne, ne, nene, tum, ne, num, num, ini, i mi, co, o, no, o, o, neno, ne, no, no, no, rum, nenum, num. It is well shit, well sung, (said he) by the vertue of God, why do not you sing Paniers fare∣well, Vintage is done; The devil snatch me, if they be not already within the middle of our Closse, and cut so well both Vines and Grapes, that by cods body there will not be found for these four yeares to come so much as a gleaning in it. By the belly of Sanct James, what shall we (poor devils) drink the while? Lord God! da mihi potum. Then said the Prior of the Covent, What should this drunken fellow do here, let him be carried to prison for troubling the divine service: Nay, said the Monk, the wine service, let us be∣have our selves so, that it be not troubled; for you your self, my Lord Prior, love to drink of the best, and so doth every honest man. Never yet did a man of worth dislike good wine, it is a monastical apophthegme. But these responses that you chant here by G.-

are not in season: wherefore is it that our devotions were instituted to be short in the time of Harvest and Vintage, and long in the Advent, and all the winter? The late Friar, Massepelosse of good memory, a true zealous man, (or else I give my self to the devil) of our religion, told me, and I re∣member it well, how the reason was, that in this season we might presse and make the wine, and in Winter whiffe it up. Heark you, my masters, you that love the wine, Cops body follow me, for Sanct Antonie burn me as freely as a fagot, if they get leave to taste one drop of the liquour, that will not now come and fight for relief of the Vine. Hogs belly, the goods of the Church! Ha, no, no: what the devil, Sanct Thomas of Eng∣land was well content to die for them; if I died in the same cause, should not I be a Sanct likewise? Yes: yet shall not I die there for all this, for it is I that must do it to o∣thers and send them a packing. As he spake this, he threw off his great Monks habit, and laid hold upon the staffe of the crosse, which was made of the heart of a sorbaple-tree, it being of the length of a lance, round, of a full gripe, and a little poudred with lilies called flower de luce, the workmanship whereof was almost all defaced and worn out. Thus went he out in a faire long-skirted jacket, putting his frock scarfewayes athwart his breast, and

in this equipage, with his staffe, shaft or truncheon of the crosse, laid on so lustily, brisk and fiercely upon his enemies, who without any order, or ensigne, or trumpet, or drum, were busied in gathering the grapes of the Vineyard; for the Cornets, Guidons and Ensigne-bearers, had laid down their standards, banners, and colours by the wall∣sides: the Drummers had knock't out the heads of their Drums on one end, to fill them with grapes: The Trumpeters were loaded with great bundles of bunches, and huge knots of clusters: In summe, every one of them was out of aray, and all in dis∣order. He hurried therefore upon them so rudely, without crying gare or beware, that he overthrew them like hogs, tumbled them over like swine, striking athwart and alongst, and by one means or other laid so about him, after the old fashion of fencing, that to some he beat out their braines, to others he crush∣ed their armes, battered their legs, and be∣thwacked their sides till their ribs cracked with it; to others again he unjoynted the spondyles or knuckles of the neck, disfigured their chaps, gashed their faces, made their cheeks hang flapping on their chin, and so swinged and belammed them, that they fell down before him like hay before a Mower: to some others he spoiled the frame of their kidneys, marred their backs, broke their

thigh-bones, pash't in their noses, poached out their eyes, cleft their mandibules, tore their jaws, dung in their teeth into their throat, shook asunder their omoplates or shoulder-blade, sphacelated their shins, mor∣tified their shanks, inflamed their ankles, hea∣ved off of the hinges their ishies, their scia∣tica or hip-gout, dislocated the joints of the knees, squattered into pieces the boughts or pestles of their thighs, and so thumped, mawled and belaboured them every where, that never was corne so thick and threefold thresh't upon by Plowmens flailes, as were the pitifully disjoynted members of their mangled bodies, under the mercilesse baton of the crosse. If any offered to hide himself amongst the thickest of the Vines, he laid him squat as a flounder, bruised the ridge of his back, and dash't his reines like a dog. If any thought by flight to escape, he made his head to flie in pieces by the Lambdoidal com∣missure, which is a seame in the hinder part of the scull. If any one did scramble up into a tree, thinking there to be safe, he rent up his perinee, and impaled him in at the funda∣ment. If any of his old acquaintance happen∣ed to cry out, Ha Fryar Ihon my friend, Fryar Ihon, quarter, quarter, I yield my self to you, to you I render my self: So thou shalt (said he) and must whether thou would∣est or no, and withal render and yield up thy

soul to all the devils in hell, then sudden∣ly gave them Dronos, that is, so many knocks, thumps, raps, dints, thwacks and bangs, as sufficed to warne Pluto of their com∣ing, and dispatch them a going: if any was so rash and full of temerity as to resist him to his face, then was it he did shew the strength of his muscles, for without more ado he did transpierce him, by running him in at the breast, through the mediastine and the heart. Others again he so quashed and bebumped, that with a sound bounce under the hollow of their short ribs, he overturned their sto∣machs so that they died immediately: to some with a smart souse on the Epigaster, he would make their midrif swag, then redoub∣ling the blow; gave them such a home-push on the navel, that he made their puddings to gush out. To others through their ballocks he pierced their bum-gut, and left not bow∣el, tripe nor intral in their body, that had not felt the impetuosity, fiercenesse and fu∣ry of his violence. Beleeve that it was the most horrible spectacle that ever one saw: some cried unto Sanct Barbe, others to St. George; O the holy Lady Nytouch, said one, the good Sanctesse; O our Lady of Succours, said another, help, help: others cried, Our Lady of Cunaut, of Loretta, of good tidings on the other side of the water St. Mary over: some vowed a pilgrimage to St. James, and

others to the holy handkerchief at Cham∣berrie, which three moneths after that burnt so well in the fire, that they could not get one thread of it saved: others sent up their vowes to St. Cadouin; others to St. Ihon d' Angelie, and to St. Eutropius of Xaintes: o∣thers again invoked St. Mesmes of Chinon, St. Martin of Candes, S. Clouod of Sinays, the holy relicks of Laurezay, with a thousand other jolly little Sancts and Santrels: Some died without speaking, others spoke without dy∣ing; some died in speaking, others spoke in dying. Others shouted as loud as they could, Confession, Confession, Confiteor, miserere, in manus; so great was the cry of the wound∣ed, that the Prior of the Abbey with all his Monks came forth, who when they saw these poor wretches so slain amongst the Vines, and wounded to death, confessed some of them: but whilest the Priests were busied in confessing them, the little Mon∣kies ran all to the place where Friar Ihon was, and asked him, wherein he would be plea∣sed to require their assistance? To which he answered, that they should cut the throats of those he had thrown down upon the ground. They presently leaving their outer habits and cowles upon the railes, began to throttle and make an end of those whom he had al∣ready crushed: Can you tell with what in∣struments they did it? with faire gullics,

which are little hulchback't demi-knives, the iron toole whereof is two inches long, and the wooden handle one inch thick, and three inches in length, wherewith the little boyes in our countrey cut ripe walnuts in two, (while they are yet in the shell,) and pick out the kernel, and they found them very fit for the expediting of that wezand-slitting ex∣ploit. In the mean time Friar Ihon with his formidable baton of the Crosse, got to the breach which the enemies had made, and there stood to snatch up those that endea∣voured to escape: Some of the Monkito's carried the standards, banners, ensignes, gui∣dons and colours into their cells and cham∣bers, to make garters of them. But when those that had been shriven, would have gone out at the gap of the said breach, the sturdy Monk quash't and fell'd them down with blowes, saying, These men have had confessi∣on and are penitent soules, they have got their absolution, and gained the pardons: they go into Paradise as streight as a sickle, or as the way is to Faye, (like Crooked-Lane at Eastcheap.) Thus by his prowesse and va∣lour were discomfited all those of the army that entred into the Closse of the Abbey, unto the number of thirteen thousand, six hundred, twenty and two, besides the wo∣men and little children, which is alwayes to be understood. Never did Maugis the Her∣mite

bear himself more valiantly with his bourdon or Pilgrims staffe against the Sara∣cens, of whom is written in the Acts of the foure sons of Haymon, then did this Monk a∣gainst his enemies with the staffe of the Crosse.