The first [second] book of the works of Mr. Francis Rabelais, Doctor in Physick, containing five books of the lives, heroick deeds, and sayings of Gargantua, and his sonne Pantagruel. Together with the Pantagrueline prognostication, the oracle of the divine Bachus, and response of the bottle. Hereunto are annexed the navigations unto the sounding isle, and the isle of the Apedests: as likewise the philosophical cream with a Limosm epistle. / All done by Mr. Francis Rabelais, in the French tongue, and now faithfully translated into English.

CHAP. XXV. How there was great strife and debate, raised betwixt the Cake-bakers of Lerne, and those of Gargantua's countrey-whereupon were waged great warres.

AT that time, which was the season of Vintage, in the beginning of Harvest, when the countrey shepherds were set to keep the Vines, and hinder the Starlings from eating up the grapes: as some cake-bakers

of Lerne happened to passe along in the broad high way, driving unto the City ten or twelve horses loaded with cakes, the said shepherds courteously intreated them to give them some for their money, as the price then ruled in the market; for here it is to be remarked, that it is a celestial food to eate for breakfast hot fresh cakes with grapes, especially the frail clusters, the great red grapes, the muscadine, the verjuice grape and the luskard, for those that are costive in their belly; because it will make them gush out, and squirt the length of a Hunters staffe, like the very tap of a barrel; and often-times thinking to let a squib, they did all-to-besquatter and conskite themselves, whereupon they are commonly called the Vintage-thinkers. The Bunsellers or Cake-bakers were in nothing inclinable to their request; but (which was worse) did injure them most outragiously, calling them prat∣ling gablers, lickorous gluttons, freckled bit∣tors, mangie rascals, shiteabed scoundrels, drunken roysters, slie knaves, drowsie loi∣terers, slapsauce fellows, slabberdegullion druggels, lubbardly lowts, cosening foxes, ruffian rogues, paultrie customers, syco∣phant-varlets, drawlatch hoydons, flouting milksops, jeering companions, staring clowns, forlorn snakes, ninnie lobcocks, scurvie sneaksbies, fondling fops, base lowns,

sawcie coxcombs, idle lusks, scoffing Brag∣gards, noddie meacocks, blockish grutnols, dod-di-pol-jolt-heads, jobernol goosecaps, foolish loggerheads, slutch calf-lollies, grouthead gnat∣snappers, lob-dotterels, gaping changelings, codshead loobies, woodcock slangams, ninnie∣hammer flycatchers, noddiepeak simpletons; Turdie gut, shitten shepherds, and other such like defamatory epithetes, saying fur∣ther, that it was not for them to eate of these dainty cakes, but might very well con∣tent themselves with the course unraung∣ed bread, or to eat of the great brown houshold loaf. To which provoking words, one amongst them, called Forgier, (an honest fellow of his person, and a notable springal,) made answer very calmly thus: How long is it since you have got hornes, that you are become so proud? indeed formerly you were wont to give us some freely, and will you not now let us have any for our money? This is not the part of good neighbours, nei∣ther do we serve you thus when you come hi∣ther to buy our good corn, wherof you make your cakes and buns: besides that, we would have given you to the bargain some of our grapes, but by his Zounds, you may chance to repent it, and possibly have need of us at an∣other time, when we shall use you after the like manner, and therefore remember it. Then Marquet, a prime man in the confra∣ternity

of the cake-bakers, said unto him, Yea Sir, thou art pretty well crest-risen this morning, thou didst eat yesternight too much millet and bolymoug, come hither Sirrah, come hither, I will give thee some cakes: whereupon Forgier dreading no harm, in all simplicity went towards him, and drew a sixpence out of his leather sach∣el, thinking that Market would have sold him some of his cakes; but in stead of cakes, he gave him with his whip such a rude lash overthwart the legs, that the marks of the whipcord knots were apparent in them; then would have fled away, but Forgier cried out as loud as he could, O murther, murther, help, help, help, and in the mean time threw a great cudgel after him, which he carried under his arme, wherewith he hit him in the coronal joynt of his head, upon the crotaphick arterie of the right side thereof, so forcibly, that Marquet fell down from his mare, more like a dead then living man. Mean-while the farmers and countrey-swaines that were watching their walnuts near to that place, came running with their great poles and long staves, and laid such load on these cake-bakers, as if they had been to thresh up∣on green rie. The other shepherds and shepherdesses hearing the lamentable shout of Forgier, came with their slings and slack∣ies following them, and throwing great

stones at them, as thick as if it had been haile. At last they overtook them, and took from them about foure or five dosen of their cakes: neverthelesse they payed for them the ordi∣nary price, and gave them over and above one hundred egges, and three baskets full of mulberries. Then did the cake-bakers help to get up to his mare-Marquet, who was most shrewdly wounded, and forthwith returned to Lerne, changing the resolution they had to go to Pareille, threatning very sharp and boistrously the cowherds, shepherds and far∣mers of Sevile and Sinays. This done, the shepherds and shepherdesses made merry with these cakes and fine grapes, and sport∣ed themselves together at the sound of the pretty small pipe, scoffing and laughing at those vain-glorious cake-bakers, who had that day met with a mischief for want of crossing themselves with a good hand in the morning. Nor did they forget to apply to Forgiers leg some faire great red medicinal grapes, and so handsomly drest it and bound it up, that he was quickly cured.