Harry Hangman's honour: or, Gloucester-shire hangman's request to the smoakers or tobacconists in London.

Harry Hangman's Honour: OR, Gloucester-shire Hangman's Request TO THE Smoakers or Tobacconists in LONDON.

Gentlemen,

YOu that trade in that Weed cal∣led Herba Exotica, Herba Nico∣tiana, Petum, but commonly called TOBACCO, and by your Profession are called Smoakers, or Tobacconists; give me leave to address my self unto you, and make my Grievances known; forasmuch as I understand, that the very same thing which offends me, is also very offensive unto you: and I shall gladly assist you to the present Power, for a redress of those our Grievances.

But take it not ill at my hands, that I should offer to associate my self with you: for I shall prove my Place and Calling to be far before and beyond yours, for

• 1. Antiquity,
• 2. Dignity,
• 3. Integrity,
• 4. Innocency,
• 5. Utility,
• 6. Necessity,
• 7. Piety,
• 8. Civility.

1. For Antiquity; I shall be able to prove, that there was a Hangman in Gloucester-shire, before there was any Smoaker or Tobacconist in London: and I doubt not but I shall produce a Coat of Arms, not from William the Norman Conqueror, Dane or Sa∣xon; but from Julius Caesar, 1600 yeers since, who brought the Romanes first into this Nation: and with them came in this death which I inflict upon offenders.

2. For Dignity, My place is above the Judges; and if above the Judges, much more above yours. That it is above the Judges, I'll prove it: for although the Felon or Murderer be apprehended, by the Ju∣stice of Peace committed, by persons concerned prosecuted, by the Clerk of the Assizes arraigned, by the Jury convicted, by the Judge condemned; yet Execution (which is the life of the Law) lies in my hands. Finis coronat opus: in all Trades, he that finisheth the work, is commonly reputed the better workman. And this I can speak with confidence, to the comfort of my soul, I am as much honoured in the hearts of the people, as any Sequestrator or Excise-man in the Commonwealth of England.

3. For Integrity, My place is far before you: ye use mixture and composition, compounding English with Virginia, Virginia with Spanish: I deal in ho∣nest plain simple Hemp; and never promise a man a good turn, but commonly I make good my word. And indeed, I work above-board, & above ground, candidly and clearly, by vertue of no Hocus Pocus at all, or using fraud or deceit, cheating the State, whose servant I am. And to speak truth, it behoves me so to carry my self; for the eyes of the Congre∣gation are more fixed upon me and my actions, then they are upon the Preacher in the publike Assem∣blies: neither do they sleep in my Congregation, although they sit up all night, or although it be at a Summer-Size. There is one Calling which indeed seems to aspire neer my Calling; that's the Taylor; but that hath not been originally so: for anciently the Taylor sate upon the ground at work, until a great Sow came into the Room, and caught a little Taylor up in his mouth, and ran away with him; since which time, the Taylor got upon the board to work; and the rumout thereof, struck such a terror and amazement to the Taylors in London, that ever since they work in Garrets on the top of the houses.

4. For Innocency, Likewise I am before you: ye consume either Wax, Tallow, Waste-paper, or Fire; I consume neither, for I do my work by day-light: I go to work after the Sun is up, and leave work before the Sun is down.

4. For Utility, I am more profitable then you: I take off ill members, as the Poet long since said,

Sed immedicabile vulnus fune recidendum est, ne pars sin∣cera trabatur: and herein I go beyond your Barber-Surgeons; Barber-Surgeons take off corrupt mem∣bers from the natural body, but withal, dull the edge of the instrument, and put the body to the sence of pain; but I am so much an Artist, I never dull the edge of the instrument, or put the body po∣litique to any sence of pain at all. I go beyond Physitians too; Physitians, some, are good at one disease; some, at other diseases: but I make a per∣fect cure of all diseases in my Patients at once, and that with one Medicine.

6. For Necessity, Likewise I am far before you: There is a necessity of my Calling, there's none of yours; neither you nor any man else could proper∣ly call any thing his own, that now he doth enjoy, were it not for my Trade; nay, ye might look to have your throats cut in your beds.

7. And for Piety, which is the principal thing, I exceedingly surpass you. It may be said of To∣bacco, as sometime Tarlton said of Oysters, That they were ungrateful meat, because they were alwayes eaten before grace; and so it may be said of you, and of your Customers or Friends, when you take Tobac∣co, you use no devotion at all; but now when I go to work, there is a great deal of devotion used; many times singing of Psalms, saying of Prayers, strong Ejaculations, and liftings up of the heart; and I think my Congregation is the freest Congregation in England from Hypocrisie: and to tell you the truth, I am a Preacher too, although my voyce be low, that it cannot be heard; yet I preach by my

works and actions, but all legal Sermons, threatning nothing but death and mortality to the creature, judgement without mercy; yet some crums of small comfort I afford them, for I cheer them up by the chin, and make them see the heavens through a hole in a three-penny halter, not opening a wider gap, or proclaiming more liberty then anciently hath been, thereby destroying Fundamentals, because indeed I took the Covenant or protestation, wherein I did protest against all innovations, and I stand to my first principles; howsoever some flexible tender spirits can take Protestations and Engagements e∣very week, and every Engagement blowing in the face of each other; nay, although they be as long as the Crest in my Coat of Arms, I mean, the Gal∣lows beam: and I much have scorned the baseness of those Parsons that have taken the Covenant be∣cause they would get other mens livings, & took the Engagement because they would keep them. And indeed ye might call my Sermons Funeral Ser∣mons if you please, but that I scorn to daub and flatter, and send men to heaven in halters, as some Preachers do in coffins, for ten or twenty shillings, a mourning gown or cloak; and I might have the upmost place at the Funeral-Table, but that when I come to make application of the point, I cannot speak a word of commendation concerning the par∣ty deceasing, or a word of consolation to any of their friends, who are spectators, and my hearers. I am above Preachers too: Preachers preach, that a man cannot attain unto happiness by natural will; I shew, and am able to teach, how men may be

brought unto those high attainments under my dis∣pensation by the freedom of a natural will, with∣out grace supernatural or restringent, (onely in a string;) and yet many that live above themselves, come up to me and die above-ground, and many that live below Ordinances are brought up to be acted under my administrations, and turn Quakers before they die.

8. For Civility, I am to be preferred much be∣fore you: yea if a Customer or Friend come to you, ye say, Sir, will ye be pleased to take or taste a pipe of good Tobacco? here's that which is good, come, here's a sort I can commend unto you, London af∣fords not a better sort, then I can shew you; come, take one pipe more, 'tis but such a hour of the day, or such an hour of the night; and thus ye idle out your precious time: but now, as dearest friends must part, so do we, but alwayes in due time; and I have a priviledge before any Calling in the Com∣monwealth of England, I have the remission of the greatest action of unkindeness, that one man can possibly express to another, before it's commit∣ted; for I take him by the hand that comes to be acted by me, and say unto him, Wilt forgive me? Yea, saith he, with all my heart; and as soon as he hath said thus, I turn aside the ladder and take away his life. And yet the greatest gallant that ever fought a Duel upon Callice-sands, never comes off with so much honour and credit as I do; for he, if he kill his adversary, as he besmears his sword with blood, so he besmuts his soul for ever with the guilt thereof, unless wip'd off by a more preci∣ous:

and it must be murther or manslaughter at the best; but I do my work so artificially, I never shed one drop of blood, 'tis neither murther, nor manslaughter, but an act of justice; and herein I come off more a Gentleman, then the best of them.

By this time, Gentlemen, I hope you will admit of my Society, and accept of my assistance in the prosecution of the designe for the remedy of those our grievances.

And now, Gentlemen, I cannot but tell you, it hath been a sad thing to my spirit, to see some of you written Esquires, most or all of you called Gen∣tlemen, and I all this while but plain Harry Hang∣man.

The truth is, Gentlemen, the very planting of Tobacco hath proved the decay of my Trade: for since it hath been planted in Gloucester-shire, especi∣ally at Winchcomb, my trade hath proved nothing worth. It's well known, that for several Assizes at Gloucester I have had but three suits of clothes at a Size, and at some Assizes no suit of cloathes at all; onely by great luck and good fortune, I had four this yeer. Is it not a sad thing, when a mans wife shall meet him coming from work, and shall ask, O husband, what trade at Gloucester to yeer? and when I have told her, But onely three suits of clothes, and very little money; she hath said to me, Husband, if this trade hold, we may go hang our selves; and were it not but onely for the credit of being a States officer, you should never follow the trade more.

It's well known, that heretofore I was used to keep Deerhurst-Fayre, a place in Gloucester-shire fa∣mous

for three things; old Clothes, Lice, and shit∣ten Stiles.

1. For old Clothes, because the comers there∣unto wanted money to buy new.

2. For Lice, they have been so proper, goodly, fat and tall, that a Louse from that Fayre, according to his proportion and stature, hath carried as much Tallow as an Ox that comes within Smithfield∣bars; and, that he hath marched about the Table carrying a half crown upon his shoulders, onely for his recreation sake, they that have seen it can speak it by experience.

3. Famous for shitten Stiles, and that's conceived to be done out of State-policy, to preserve the place from any infection, or contagion that might be left there, by means of cloaths coming from diseased parts and places; for take a fresh stoole from a sweet proper beautiful Lady or Gentlewoman, aged for∣ty yeers, being wrap'd up in a sweet, clean linen Handkerchief, and applied unto the Nose, it is an excellent Antidote against the Plague; the juyce whereof being strained into a dish, dipping a liquo∣rish stick into the same, and anointing the lips and teeth therewith, and chewing the same, cures the Tooth-ache, kills the Cankers, and is good for the Cough of the Lungs, and is as good in the judge∣ment of the learned Physitian, as a receipt taken from a cheating Mountebank upon a Stage; and had it but one operation more with it, to preserve the Father of lyes from lying between the lips of men, it were the most precious Medicine in the World. They that have tried it, can set a probatum upon it.

This Deerhurst-Fayre I have kept many yeers, at both Fayrs, and with eight, ten, twelve suits of Cloaths at a Fayr, and some of the same Cloaths that I sold there, at one Fayr, were brought to me at the next Assizes; then Trading was something worth, then 'twas a merry World with me: for indeed before Tobacco was there planted, there being no kinde of Trade to employ men, and very small Tillage, necessity compelled poor men to stand my Friends, by stealing of sheep, and other Cattel, breaking of Hedges, robbing of Orchards, and what not? insomuch, that the place became famous for Rognes, as 'twas taken up in a Proverb by many that stood on the top of Breedon-hill view∣ing the Country, would say, Yonder is rich Wor∣cester, brave Gloucester, proud Tewksbury, begger∣ly Evesham, drunken Pershore, and roguish Winch∣combe. And Bridewel was erected there, to be a terrour to idle persons; but since Tobacco was planted there, Bridewel marched away in discon∣tent to Gloucester, thinking to finde some idle per∣sons among the Souldiers; but when it came there, it found none of the Souldiers idle, some slept on their Beds, others slept on the Guard; some playing at Ball, others playing at Skittles: thereupon the Countrey having bestowed six hundred pounds to put a suit of Cloaths on Bridewel's back, they had none to put into it, but the Keeper and his Wife; I dare not say, The Country were cheated of one half of the money; and if there be no toleration given to them, they must either beg, famish or steal; they have lived handsomely by their labour, and

now they are loath to go a begging: famish they will not, for hunger will break stone walls, that's burglary; and if they go to steal in the fields, they will be quickly brought over to me. Gentlemen, we may be instrumental to do each other good; you may serve me, and I shall be glad to serve you in any office that falls within the power of your poor Servant,

Harry Hang-man.