Tears of repentance: or, A further narrative of the progress of the Gospel amongst the Indians in New-England: setting forth, not only their present state and condition, but sundry confessions of sin by diverse of the said Indians, wrought upon by the saving power of the Gospel; together with the manifestation of their faith and hope in Jesus Christ, and the work of grace upon their hearts. Related by Mr. Eliot and Mr. Mayhew, two faithful laborers in that work of the Lord. Published by the corporation for propagating the Gospel there, for the satisfaction and comfort of such as wish well thereunto.

A brief Relation of the Proceedings of the Lords Work among the INDIANS, in reference unto their Church-Estate; The Reasons of the not accomplishing thereof at pre∣sent: With some of their Confessions; where∣by it may be discerned in some measure, how far the Lord hath prepared among them fit Matter for a CHURCH.

THese Indians (the better and wiser sort of them) have for some years inquired after Church-Estate, Baptism, and the rest of the Ordinances of God, in the observati∣on whereof they see the Godly English to walk. I have from time to time, delayed them upon this point, That until they were come up unto Civil Cohabitation, Government, and Labor, which a fixed condition of life will put them upon, they were not so capable to be betrusted with that Treasure of Christ, lest they should scandalize the same, and make it of none effect, because if any should through temptation fall un∣der Censure, he could easily run away (as some have done) and would be tempted so to do, unless he were fixed in an Ha∣bitation, and had some means of livelihood to lose, and leave behind him: such Reasons have satisfied them hitherunto. But now being come under Civil Order, and fixing themselves in Habitations, and bending themselves to labor, as doth ap∣pear by their works of Fencings, Buildings &c. and especially

in building, without any English Workmans help, or directi∣on, a very sufficient Meeting-House, of fifty foot long twenty five foot broad, neer twelve foot high betwixt the joynts, wel sawen, and framed (which is a specimen, not only of their sin∣gular ingenuity, and dexerity, but also of some industry) I say this being so, now my argument of delaying them from entering into Church-Estate, was taken away. Therefore in way of preparation of them thereunto, I did this Summer call forth sundry of them in the dayes of our publick Assemblies in Gods Worship; somtimes on the Sabbath when I could be with them, and sometimes on Lecture daies, to make confessi∣on before the Lord of their former sins, and of their present knowledg of Christ, and experience of his Grace; which they solemnly doing, I wrote down their Confessions: which ha∣ving done, and being in my own heart hopeful that there was among them fit matter for a Church, I did request all the El∣ders about us to hear them reade, that so they might give me advice what to do in this great, and solemn business; which being done on a day appointed for the purpose, it pleased God to give their Confessions such acceptance in their hearts, as that they saw nothing to hinder their proceeding, to try how the Lord would appear therein. Whereupon, after a day of Fasting and Prayer among our selves, to seek the Lord in that behalf, there was another day of Fasting and Prayer appointed, and publick notice thereof, and of the names of Indians were to confess, and enter into Covenant that day, was given to all the Churches about us, to seek the Lord yet further herein, and to make solemn Confessions of Christ his Truth and Grace, and further to try whether the Lord would vouchsafe such grace unto them, as to give them ac∣ceptance among the Saints, into the fellowship of Church-E∣state, and enjoyment of those Ordinances which the Lord hath betrusted his Churches withal. That day was the thir∣teenth of the eighth month.

When the Assembly was met, the first part of the day was spent in Prayer unto God, and exercise in the Word of God; in which, my self first; and after that, two of the Indians did Exercise; and so the time was spent till after ten, or near ele∣ven

of the clock. Then addressing our selves unto the fur∣ther work of the day, I first requested the reverend Elders (many being present) that they would ask them Questions touching the fundamental Points of Religion, that thereby they might have some tryal of their knowledg, and better that way, than if themselves should of themselves declare what they beleeve, or than if I should ask them Questions in these matters: After a little conference hereabout, it was concluded, That they should first make confession of their experience in the Lords Work upon their hearts, because in so doing, it is like something will be discerned of their know∣ledg in the Doctrines of Religion: and if after those Confes∣sions there should yet be cause to inquire further touching a∣ny Point of Religion it might be fitly done at last. Where∣upon we so proceeded, and called them forth in order to make confession. It was moved in the Assembly by Reverend Mr. Wilson, that their former Confessions also, as well as these which they made at present, might be read unto the Assembly, because it was evident that they were daunted much to speak before so great and grave an Assembly as that was, but time did not permit it so to be then: yet now in my writing of their Confessions I will take that course, that so it may ap∣pear what encouragement there was to proceed so far as we did; and that such as may reade these their Confessions, may the better discern of the reality of the Grace of Christ in them.

The first which was called forth is named Tother∣swamp, whose former Confession read before the Elders, was as followeth:

BEfore I prayed unto God, the English, when I came un∣to their houses, often said unto me, Pray to God; but I having many friends who loved me, and I loved them, and they cared not for praying to God, and therefore I did not: But I thought in my heart, that if my friends should die, and I live, I then would pray to God; soon after, God so wrought, that they did almost all die, few of them left; and then my heart feared, and I thought, that now I will pray un∣to God, and yet I was ashamed to pray; and if I eat and did not pray, I was ashamed of that also; so that I had a double shame upon me: Then you came unto us, and taught us, and said unto us, Pray unto God; and after that, my heart grew strong, and I was no more ashamed to pray, but I did take up praying to God; yet at first I did not think of God, and eternal Life, but only that the English should love me, and I loved them: But after I came to learn what sin was, by the Commandements of God, and then I saw all my sins, lust, gaming, &c. (he named more.) You taught, That Christ knoweth all our hearts, and seeth what is in them, if humility, or anger, or evil thoughts, Christ seeth all that is in the heart; then my heart feared greatly, because God was angry for all my sins; yea, now my heart is full of evil thoughts, and my heart runs away from God, therefore my heart fea∣reth and mourneth. Every day I see sin in my heart; one man brought sin into the World, and I am full of that sin, and I break Gods Word every day. I see I deserve not pardon, for the first mans sinning; I can do no good, for I am like the Devil, nothing but evil thoughts, and words, and works. I have lost all likeness to God, and goodness, and therefore

every day I sin against God, and I deserve death and damna∣tion: The first man brought sin first, and I do every day ad to that sin, more sins; but Christ hath done for us all righte∣ousness, and died for us because of our sins, and Christ tea∣cheth us, That if we cast away our sins, and trust in Christ, then God will pardon all our sins; this I beleeve Christ hath done, I can do no righteousness, but Christ hath done it for me; this I beleeve, and therefore I do hope for pardon. When I first heard the Commandements, I then took up praying to God, and cast off sin. Again, When I heard, and understood Redemption by Christ, then I beleeved Jesus Christ to take away my sins: every Commandement taught me sin, and my duty to God. When you ask me, Why do I love God? I answer, Because he giveth me all outward bles∣sings, as food, clothing, children, all gifts of strength, speech, hearing; especially that he giveth us a Minister to teach us, and giveth us Government; and my heart feareth lest Go∣vernment should reprove me: but the greatest mercy of all is Christ, to give us pardon and life.

Totherswamp The Confession which he made on the Fast day before the great Assembly, was as followeth:

I Confess in the presence of the Lord, before I prayed, many were my sins, not one good word did I speak, not one good thought did I think, not one good action did I doe: I did act all sins, and full was my heart of evil thoughts: when the English did tell me of God, I cared not for it. I thought it e∣nough if they loved me: I had many friends that loved me, and I thought if they died, I would pray to God: and afterward it so came to pass; then was my heart ashamed, to pray I was a∣shamed, & if I prayed not, I was ashamed; a double shame was

upon me: when God by you taught us, very much ashamed was my heart; then you taught us that Christ knoweth all our harts: therefore truly he saw my thoughts, and I had thought, if my kindred should die I would pray to God; ther∣fore they dying, I must now pray to God: and therefore my heart feared, for I thought Christ knew my thoughts: then I heard you teach, The first man God made was named Adam, & God made a Covenant with him, Do and live, thou and thy Children; if thou do not thou must die, thou and thy Children; And we are Children of Adam poor sinners, therefore we all have sinned, for we have broke Gods Covenant, therefore evil is my heart therefore God is very angry with me, we sin against him every day; but this great mercy God hath given us, he hath given us his only Son, and promiseth, That whosoever belee∣veth in Christ shall be saved: for Christ hath dyed for us in our stead, for our sins, and he hath done for us all the words of God, for I can do no good act, only Christ can, and only Christ hath done all for us; Christ have deserved Pardon for us, and risen again, he hath ascended to God, and doth ever pray for us; therefore all Beleevers Souls shall goe to Hea∣ven to Christ. But when I heard that word of Christ, Christ said Repent and Beleeve, and Christ seeth who Repenteth, then I said, dark and weak is my Soul, and I am one in darkness, I am a very sinful man, and now I pray to Christ for life. Hearing you teach that Word that the Scribes and Pharisees said Why do thy Disciples break the Tradition of the Fathers? Christ answered, Why do ye make void the Commandements of God? Then my heart feared that I do so, when I teach the Indians, because I cannot teach them right, and thereby make the word of God vain. Again, Christ said If the blind lead the blind they will both fall into the ditch; Therfore I feared that I am one blind, and when I teach other Indians I shal caus them to fall into the ditch. This is the love of God to me, that he giveth me all mercy in this world, and for them al I am thank∣full; but I confess I deserve Hell; I cannot deliver my self, but I give my Soul and my Flesh to Christ and I trust my soul with him for he is my Redeemer, and I desire to call upon him while I live.

This was his Confession which ended, Mr. Allin further demanded of him this Question, How he found his heart, now in the matter of Repentance

His answer was; I am ashamed of all my sins, my heart is broken for them and melteth in me, I am angry with my self for my sins, and I pray to Christ to take away my sins, and I desire that they may be pardoned.

But it was desired that further Question might be forborn, lest time would be wanting to here them all speak.

Then Waban was called forth, whose Confession was as followeth; no former confession of his being read unto the Elders.

BEfore I heard of God, and before the English came into this Country, many evil things my heart did work, many thoughts I had in my heart; I wished for riches, I wished to be a witch, I wished to be a Sachem; and many such other evils were in my heart: Then when the English came, still my heart did the same things; when the English taught me of God (I coming to their Houses) I would go out of their doors, and many years I knew nothing; when the English taught me I was angry with them: But a little while a∣goe after the great sikness, I considered what the English do, and I had some desire to do as they do; and after that I began to work as they work; and then I wondered how the English come to be so strong to labor; then I thought I shall quickly die, and I feared lest I should die before I prayed to God; then I thought, if I prayed to God in our Language, whether could God understand my prayers in our Language; therefore I did ask Mr. Jackson, and Mr. Mahu, If God un∣derstood prayers in our Language? They answered me, God doth understand all Languages in the World. But I do not

know how to confess, and little do I know of Christ; I fear I shall not beleeve a great while, and very slowly; I do not know what grace is in my heart, there is but little good in me; but this I know, That Christ hath kept all Gods Com∣mandements for us, and that Christ doth know all our hearts; and now I desire to repent of all my sins: I neither have done, nor can do the Commandements of the Lord, but I am asha∣med of all I do, and I do repent of all my sins, even of all that I do know of: I desire that I may be converted from all my sins, and that I might beleeve in Christ, and I desire him; I dislike my sins, yet I do not truly pray to God in my heart: no matter for good words, all is the true heart; and this day I do not so much desire good words, as throughly to open my heart: I confess I can do nothing, but deserve damnation; only Christ can help me and do for me. But I have nothing to say for my self that is good; I judg that I am a sinner, and cannot repent, but Christ hath deserved pardon for us.

This Confession being not so satisfactory as was desired, Mr. Wilson testified, that he spake these latter expressions with tears, which I observed not, because I attended to writing; but I gave this testimony of him, That his conversation was without offence to the English, so far as I knew, and among the Indians, it was exemplar: his gift is not so much in expressing himself this way, but in other respects useful and eminent; it being deman∣ded in what respect, I answered to this purpose, That his gift lay in Ruling, Judging of Cases, wherein he is patient, constant, and prudent, insomuch that he is much respected among them, for they have chosen him a Ruler of Fifty, and he Ruleth well according to his measure. It was further said, they thought he had been a great drawer on to Religion; I replyed, so he was in his way, and did prevail with many; and so it rested.

The next that was called, was William of Sud∣bury, his Indian Name is Nataôus; his for∣mer Confession read before the Elders, was as followeth:

I Confess that before I prayed, I committed all manner of sins, and served many gods: when the English came first, I going to their Houses, they spake to me of your God, but when I heard of God, my heart hated it; but when they said the Devil was my god, I was angry, because I was proud: when I came to their houses I hated to hear of God, I loved lust in my own house and not God, I loved to pray to many gods. Five years ago, I going to English houses, and they speaking of God, I did a little like of it, yet when I went again to my own house, I did all manner of sins, and in my heart I did act all sins, though I would not be seen by man. Then going to your house, I more desired to hear of God; and my heart said, I will pray to God so long as I live: then I went to the Minister Mr. Browns house, and told him I would pray as long as I lived; but he said I did not say it from my heart, and I beleeve it. When Wahan spake to me that I should pray to God, I did so. But I had greatly sinned against God, and had not beleeved the Word, but was proud: but then I was angry with my self, and loathed my self, and thought God will not forgive me my sins. For when I had been abroad in the woods I would be very angry, and would lye unto men, and I could not find the way how to be a good man: then I beleeved your teaching, That when good men die, the Angels carry their souls to God; but evil men dying, they go to Hell, and pe∣rish for ever. I thought this a true saying, and I promised to God, to pray to God as long as I live. I had a little grief in my heart five years ago for my sins: but many were my

prides; somtime I was angry with my self, and pityed my self; but I thought God would not pardon such a proud heart as mine is: I beleeve that Christ would have me to forsake my anger; I beleeve that Christ hath redeemed us, and I am glad to hear those words of God; and I desire that I might do al the good waies of God, and that I might truly pray unto God: I do now want Graces, and these Christ only teacheth us, and only Christ hath wrought our redemption, and he procureth our pardon for all our sins; and I beleeve that when beleevers dy, Gods Angels carry them to Heaven: but I want faith to beleeve the Word of God, and to open my Eyes, and to help me to cast away all sins; and Christ hath deserved for me eternall life: I have deserved nothing my self; Christ hath deserved all, and giveth me faith to beleeve it.

Willam of Sudbury: His Indian Name is NATAÔUS. The Confession which he made on the fast day before the great Assembly was as followeth.

BEfore I prayed to God, I commited all sins; and serving many gods. I much despised praying unto God, for I beleeved the Devil, and he did dayly teach me to sin, and I did them: somtimes hearing of God my heart did hate it, and went to my own house, because I did love to commit all sin there. About Six years ago, a little I liked to hear of God, and yet I hated that which was good: hearing that Cutsha∣moquin prayed, then I thought I will pray also: a year after, I heard of praying to God, and I went to Mr. Browns house and told him I will pray to God as long as live; he said, I doubt of it, and bid me cut off my hair, and I did so presently; and then I desired to be like God, and Jesus Christ, and to call

on him, but I found it very hard to beleeve; yet I thought, I wil pray as long as I live. Hearing that Word, That Christ dyed for us, was buried & rose again, and hearing of that Word also, Seek peace & imbrace the Word: then I began to beleeve that Christ died for us, for sin; and I saw my heart very full of sin. And hearing that word, That Christ went to the Mount Olives, and ascended, I beleeved and thought, Oh that God would pardon me; but I fear he will not, because I have been so long time a sinner. Somtime I am angry with my self, for my many Evil thoughts in my heart; and to this day I want grace, and cannot confess, because I have been so great a sinner: and this day I confess, a little I pray, and that I can pray but a little and weakly. When I heard that word of God, That all from the rising to the setting Sun shall pray I first under stood it it not, and wondered how it should be: after I saw that when they beleeve and obey God, then he will teach them to do right things, and God will teach us to do al things for God, sleeping and waking to be with God. But still do foolishly, and not according to my prayer: I cannot get pardon of my sins, for my sins are great in thought, word, and deed: and no man can cast off his own sins, but that is the work of Christ only to work it in us; a man can∣not make a right prayer but when Christ assisteth him; then we shall do all things well. I beleeve that Christ is God, and the Son of God because when he dyed, he rose again, and he dyed for our sins; and I beleeve he is in Heaven and ever pray∣eth for us, and sendeth his gospel unto us: and I am angry with my self, because I do not beleeve the word of God, and gospel of Jesus Christ.

The next which was called forth was Monequas∣sun, who is our School-master; whose former Confession, read before the Elders, was as followeth.

I Confess my sorrow for all my sins against God, and be∣fore men: When I first heard instruction, I beleeved not, but laughed at it, and scorned praying to God; after∣ward, when we were taught at Cohannet (that is the place where he lived) I still hated praying, and I did think of running away, because I cared not for praying to God; but afterwards, because I loved to dwell at that place, I would not leave the place, and therefore I thought I will pray to God, because I would still stay at that place, therefore I prayed not for the love of God, but for love of the place I lived in; after that I desired a little to learn the Cate∣chisme on the Lecture daies, and I did learn the ten Commandements, and after that, all the points in the Cate∣chisme; yet afterwards I cast them all away again, then was my heart filled with folly, and my sins great sins; af∣terwards by hearing, I began to fear, because of my many sins, lest the wise men should come to know them, and punish me for them; and then again I thought of run∣ning away because of my many sins: But after that I thought I would pray rightly to God, and cast away my sins; then I saw my hypocricy, because I did ask some questions, but did not do that which I knew: afterward I considered of my question, and thought I would pray to God, and would consider of some other Question, and I asked this, Question, How should I get Wisdom? and the Answer to it did a little turn my heart from sin, to seek after God; and I then considered that the Word of God was good; then I pray∣ed

to God because of the Word of God. The next Lecture day you taught that word of God, If any man lack Wisdom, let him ask it of God, who giveth freely to them that ask him, and up∣braideth no man, James, 1. 5. Then again a little my heart was turned after God, the Word also said, Repent, mourn, and be∣leeve in Jesus Christ: this also helped me on. Then you taught, That he that beleeveth not Christ, and repenteth not of sin, they are foolish and wicked; and because they beleeve not, they shall perish: then I thought my self a fool, because I beleeved not Christ, but sinned every day, and after I heard the Word, I greatly broke the Word. But afterward I heard this pro∣mise of God, Who ever repenteth and beleeveth in Christ, God will forgive him all his sins, he shall not perish; then I thought, that as yet, I do not repent, and beleeve in Christ: then I prayed to God, because of this his Promise; and then I pray∣ed to God, for God and for Christ his sake: after that again I did a little break the Word of Christ. And then I heard some other words of God, which shewed me my sins, and my breakings of Gods word; and sometimes I thought God and Christ would forgive me, because of the promise to them that beleeve in Christ, and repent of sin, I thought I did that which God spake in the Promise. Then being called to confess, to prepare to make a Church at Natick, I loved Cohannet; but after hearing this instruction, That we should not only be Hearers, but Doers of the Word, then my heart did fear. And afterward hearing that in Matthew, Christ saw two brethren mending their Nets, he said, Follow me and I will make you Fishers of men, presently they followed Christ; and when I heard this, I feared, because I was not willing to follow Christ to Natick; they followed Christ at his Word, but I did not, for now Christ saith to us, follow Me: then I was much trou∣bled, and considered of this Word of God. Afterward I heard another word, the blind men cryed after Christ and said, Have mercy on us thou Son of David, but after they came to Christ, he called them, and asked them, What shall I do for you? they said, Lord open our eyes; then Christ had pity on them, and opened their eyes, and they followed Christ; when I heard this, my heart was troubled, then I prayed to

God and Christ, to open mine eyes, and if Christ open my eyes, then I shall rejoyce to follow Christ: then I conside∣red of both these Scriptures, and I a little saw that I must fol∣low Christ. And now my heart desireth to make confession of what I know of God, and of my self, and of Christ: I be∣leeve that there is only one God, and that he made and ruleth all the World, and that he the Lord, giveth us al good things: I know that God giveth every day all good mercies, life, and health, and all; I have not one good thing, but God it is that giveth it me, I beleeve that God at first made man like God, holy, wise, righteous; but the first man sinned, for God pro∣mised him, If thou do my Commandements, thou shalt live, and thy children; but if thou sin, thou shalt die, thou and thy children; this Covenant God made with the first man. But the first man did not do the Commandements of God, he did break Gods Word, he beleeved Satan; and now I am full of sin, because the first man brought sin; dayly I am full of sin in my heart: I do not dayly rejoyce in Repentance, because Satan worketh dayly in my heart, and opposeth Repentance, and all good Works; day and night my heart is full of sin. I be∣leeve that Jesus Christ was born of the Virgin Mary; God promised her she should bear a Son, and his Name should be JESUS, because he shall deliver his people from their sins: And when Christ came to preach, he said, Repent, because the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand; again Christ taught, Except ye repent and become as a little child, ye shall not enter into the King∣dom of Heaven; therefore humble your selves like one of these little children, and great shall be your Kingdom in Hea∣ven. Again Christ said, Come unto me all ye that are weary and heavy laden with sin, and I will give you rest: take up my Cross, and Yoak, learn of me, for I am meek, and ye shall find rest to your souls, for my yoak is easie, and burden light: these are the Words of Christ, and I know Christ he is good, but my works are evil: Christ his words are good, but I am not humble; but if we be humble and beleeving in Christ, he pardons all our sins. I now desire to beleeve in Jesus Christ, because of the word of Christ, that I may be converted and become as a little Child. I confess my sins before God, and before Jesus

Christ this day; now I desire all my sins may be pardoned; I now desire repentance in my heart, and ever to beleeve in Christ; now I lift up my heart to Christ, and trust him with it, because I beleeve Christ died for us, for all our sins, and deserved for us eternal life in Heaven, and deserved pardon for all our sins. And now I give my soul to Christ because he hath redeemed: I do greatly love, and like repentance in my heart, and I love to beleeve in Jesus Christ, and my heart is broken by repentance: al these things I do like wel of, that they may be in my heart, but because Christ hath all these to give, I ask them of him that he may give me repentance, and faith in Christ, and therefore I pray and beseech Christ dayly for repentance and faith; and other good waies I beg of Christ dayly to give me: and I pray to Christ for al these gifts and graces to put them in my heart: and now I greatly thank Christ for all these good gifts which he hath given me. I know not any thing, nor can do any thing that is a good work: even my heart is dark dayly in what I should do, and my soul dyeth because of my sins, and therefore I give my soul to Christ, because I know my soul is dead in sin, and dayly doth commit sin; in my heart I sin, and all the members of my bo∣dy are sinful. I beleeve Jesus Christ is ascended to Heaven through the clouds, and he will come again from Heaven: Many saw Christ go up to Heaven, and the Angels said, even so he will come again to judg all the world; and therefore I beleeve Gods promise, That all men shall rise again when Christ cometh again, then all shall rise, and all their souls comes again because Christ is trusted with them, and keeps their souls, therefore I desire my sins may be pardoned; and I beleeve in Christ; and ever so long as I live, I will pray to God, and do all the good waies he commandeth.

Monequassun, The Confession which he made on the Fast day before the great Assembly was as fol∣loweth

I Confess my sins before the Lord, and before men this day: a little while since I did commit many sins, both in my hands and heart; lusts thefts, and many other sins, and that e∣very day: and after I heard of praying to God, and that others prayed to God, my heart did not like it, but hated it, yea and mocked at it; and after they prayed at Cohannet I stil hated it, and when I heard the Word I did not like of it, but thought of running away, because I loved sin: but I loved the place of my dwelling, and therfore I thought I wil rather pray to God, and began to do it; a little I desired to learn the ten Commandements of God, and other points of Catechisme; and then a little I repented, but I was quickly weary of repentance, and fell again to sin, and full of evil thoughts was my heart: and then I played the Hypocrite, and my heart was full of sin: I learned some things, but did not do what God commanded, but I sinned and playd the Hypocrite; some things I did before man, but not before God. But afterward I feared because of my sins, and feared punishment for my sins, therefore I thought again I would run away; yet again I loving the place, would not run away, but would pray to God: and I asked a Question at the Lecture▪ which was this, How I should get wisdom? the Answer made me a little to understand: but afterward I heard the word If any man lack wisdom, let him ask it of God, who giveth liberal∣ly to all that ask, and upbraideth none. But then I did fear Gods anger, because of all my sins, because they were great. Afterward hearing that Word, That Christ is named Jesus, because he redeemeth us from all our sins: I thought Christ

would not save me, because I repent not, for he saveth only penitent Beleevers; but I am not such an one, but still a day∣ly sinner. Afterward hearing that Word, Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled: then I thought I am a poor sinner, and poor is my heart: then I prayed to God to teach me to do that which he requireth, and to pray aright. Afterward hearing that word, Who ever looks upon a Woman to lust after her, hath already committed A∣dultry with her in his heart; then I thought I had done all manner of sins in the sight of God, because he seeth lust in the heart, and knoweth all the evil thoughts of my heart; and then I did pray unto God, Oh! give me Repentance and Pardon. Afterwards when I did teach among the Indians, I was much humbled because I could not reade right, and that I sinned in it; for I saw that when I thought to do a good work, I sinned in doing it, for I knew not what was right, nor how to do it. In the night I was considering of my sins, and could not find what to do: three nights I considered what to do, and at last God shewed me mercy, and shewed me what I should do. And then I desired to learn to read Gods Word, and hearing that if we ask wisdom of God, he will give it, then I did much pray to God, that he would teach me to reade. After a years time, I thought I did not rightly seek, and I thought I sinned, because I did not rightly desire to read Gods Word, and I thought my praying was sinful, and I feared, how should I, my wife, and child be cloathed, if I spend my time in learning to reade; but then God was mer∣ciful to me, and shewed me that Word, Say not, what shall I eat, or drink, or wherewith shall I be cloathed, wicked men seek af∣ter these; but first seek the Kingdom of Heaven, and these things shall be added to you; then I pr••yed God to teach me this word, and that I might do it: and then I desired to read Gods word, what ever I wanted. Afterward hearing that we must make a Town, and gather a Church at Natick, my heart disliked that place; but hearing that word, That Christ met two Fi∣shers, and said, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men, and they presently left all and followed him; hearing this, I was much troubled, because I had not beleeved Christ, for I would not

follow him to make a Church, nor had I done what he com∣manded me, and then I was troubled for all my sins. Again hearing that word, That the blind man called after Christ, saying, thou Son of David have mercy on me; Christ asked him what he would have him do, he said, Lord open my eyes; and presently Christ gave him sight, and he followed Christ: then again my heart was troubled, for I thought I still beleeve not, be∣cause I do not follow Christ, nor hath he yet opened mine eyes: then I prayed to Christ to open mine eyes, that I might see what to do, because I am blind and cannot see how to fol∣low Christ, and do what he commandeth, and I prayed to Christ, Teach me Lord what to do, and to do what thou sayest; and I prayed that I might follow Christ: and then I thought I will follow Christ to make a Church. All this trouble I had to be brought to be willing to make a Church: and quickly after, God laid upon me more trouble, by sick∣ness and death; and then I much prayed to God for life, for we were all sick, and then God would not hear me, to give us life; but first one of my Children died, and after that my Wife; then I was in great sorrow, because I thought God would no hear me, and I thought it was because I would not follow him, therefore he hears not me: then I found this sin in my heart, That I was angry at the punishment of God: but afterward I considered, I was a poor sinner, I have nothing, nor Child, nor Wife, I deserve that God should take away all mercies from me; and then I repented of my sins, and did much pray, and I remembred the promise to follow Christ, and my heart said, I had in this sinned, that followed not Christ, and therefore I cryed for pardon of this sin: and then hearing of this Word, Who ever beleeveth in Christ, his sins are pardoned, he beleeving that Christ died for us; and I beleeved. Again hearing that Word, If ye be not con∣verted, and become as a little Child, you cannot go to Heaven; then my heart thought, I do not this, but I deserve Hell fire for ever; and then I prayed Christ, Oh! turn me from my sin, and teach me to hear thy Word; and I prayed to my Father in Heaven: and after this, I beleeved in Christ for pardon. Afterward I heard that Word, That it is a shame for a man

to wear long hair, and that there was no such custom in the Churches: at first I thought I loved not long hair, but I did, and found it very hard to cut it off; and then I prayed God to pardon that sin also: Afterward I thought my heart cared not for the Word of God: but then I thought I would give my self up unto the Lord, to do all his Word. After∣ward I heard that word, If thy right foot offend thee, cut it off, or thy right hand, or thy right eye; its better to go to Heaven with one foot, or hand, or eye, than having both to go to Hell; then I thought my hair had been a stumbling to me, therefore I cut it off, and grieved for this fin, and prayed for pardon. Af∣ter hearing that word, Come unto me all ye that are weary and heavie laden with your sins, and I will give rest to your souls; then my heart thought that I do dayly hate my sins, Oh! that I could go to Christ! and Christ looketh I should come unto him, therfore I will go unto him, and therfore then I prayed, Oh! Christ help me to come unto thee: and I prayed because of all my sins that they may be pardoned. For the first man was made like God in holiness, and righteousness, and God gave him his Covenant; but Adam sinned, beleeving the De∣vil, therefore God was angry, and therefore all we Chil∣dren of Adam are like the Devil, and dayly sin, and break e∣very Law of God, full of evil thoughts, words, and works, and only Christ can deliver us from our sins, and he that be∣leeveth in Christ is pardoned; but my heart of my self can∣not beleeve: Satan hath power in me, but I cry to God, Oh! give me faith, and pardon my sin, because Christ alone can deliver me from Hell; therefore I pray, Oh! Jesus Christ deliver me. Christ hath provided the new Covenant to save Beleevers in Christ, therefore I desire to give my soul to Christ, for pardon of all my sins: the first Covenant is broke by sin, and we deserve Hell; but Christ keepeth for us the new Covenant, and therfore I betrust my soul with Christ. Again, I desire to beleeve in Christ, because Christ will come to judgment, and all shall rise again, and all Beleevers in this life shall then be saved; therefore I desire to beleeve Christ, and mortifie sin as long as I live; and I pray Christ to help me to beleeve: and I thank God for all his mercies eve∣ry

day: and now I confess before God that I loath my self for my sins and beg pardon.

Thus far he went in his Confession; but they being slow of speech, time was far spent and a great assembly of Eng∣lish understanding nothing he said, only waiting for my interpretation, many of them went forth, others whispe∣red, and a great confusion was in the House and a∣broad: and I perceived that the graver sort thought the time long, therfore knowing he had spoken enough unto satisfaction (at least as I judged) I here took him off. Then one of the Elders asked, if I took him off, or whether had he finished? I answered, That I took him off. So after my reading what he had said, we called another.

The next who was called forth was Ponampam, who had formerly twice made confession, and both read before the Elders. His first Confession was as followeth.

VVHen God first had mercy on us, when they first prayed at Noonanetam, I heard of it, and the first word that I heard was, That all from the rising of the sun to the going down thereof, shall pray unto God; and I thought, Oh! let it be so. After I considered what the word may be, and understood by it, That God was mercyfull; afterwards when you alwayes came to us, I only heard the word, I did not understand it, nor meditate on it, yet I found that al my doings were sins against God; then I prayed unto God. Afterwards I heard, That God would pardon all that beleeve in Christ! and quickly after I saw my sins to be very many; I saw that in every thing I did, I sinned: & when I saw these my sins against God, I was weary of my self, & angry with my self

in my heart; but the free mercy of God, caused me to hear his word, and then I feared because every day sin was in my heart, and I thought in vain I looked to Christ: Then hearing this word of Christ, that Christ taught through every town, and village, Repent and beleeve. If any one repent, and mourn, and beleeve, I will pardon him; then my heart thought I will pray to God as long as I live: but somtimes my heart was ashamed, and somtimes my heart was strong, and God seeth my heart: I now desire to repent, and beleeve in Christ, and that Christ will pardon me, and shew mercy to us all.

Ponampam, His Second Confession was as followeth:

WHen I prayed not unto God I ever sinned every day: but when Noonanetam Indians first prayed, I heard of it, and three nights I considered whether I should pray or no, but I found not how to pray unto God, but how not to pray: but then I heard Gods free mercy in his word, call all to pray, from the rising of the Sun to the going down thereof; yet presently I lost that word, and sinned again, and committed many sins. Then Gods free mercy shewed me in the Catechism, That God made all the World, yet my heart did not beleeve, because I knew I sprung from my Father and Mo∣ther: I did alwaies act many sins, because I was born in sin, and in vain I heard Gods word. Then I heard Gods Word, That Christ was made man, yet I did but hear it, though I thought it might be true: I thought I would cast off all sin, but then I found that I loved them very much. I heard Gods promise to Abraham, To increase his Children as the Stars for number, but I beleeved not, because he had but one Son: and thus I cast off the word, and committed sins. I heard also from the word, That all men are not alike to God, some are first to God, [or preferred before other;] but I did

not beleeve it because all men die alike; therefore they are not the Sons of God, and God is not their Father: So still I beleeved not the Word, but broke Gods Word dayly, and in vain I heard Gods Word. Afterward I heard that Word of God to Moses, I'le be with thy mouth, for who maketh the seeing Eye, or hearing Ear, is it not I? saith the Lord: then I understood a little of God, and of his Word; but still I acted much sin. Afterward I heard that Word of Free-Grace, Repent, and be∣leeve the Gospel, and who ever beleeve shall be saved; then my heart beleeved, then I saw I had prayed but afore man, & so was my hearing, or any other duty; and I saw other of my sins against God; and then I saw that my heart did not beleev as it should, & I desired to be open in my doings; I saw I brake every com∣mand of God: yet presently I lost this, and the Word of Christ was of little worth unto me; and I saw I loved sin very much. Then again I heard that word, That all shall pray from the rising to the sitting Sun; then I thought I will pray to God, and yet only my tongue prayed. Then again I heard the Catechism, That God made Adam and Eve, and al the world, and a little I beleeved that word. Afterward I heard ano∣ther word, That they are Bastards, not Sons, whom God afflicts not: I did a little think this to be a truth, and then I prayed more unto God, and yet I saw I feared man more than God: but notwithstanding, I have prayed unto God from that day unto this day; yet I see I sin every day. When I heard that Word that God spake to Moses in the Mount by a Trumpet, and said, Thou shalt not have any other God, thou shalt not lust, nor lye, nor kill, &c. I saw all these I had broken; I heard the Word, but sinned in what I heard: I heard that my heart must break and melt for sin, and beleeve in Christ, and that we should try our hearts if it be so; yet I could try but little, nor find but little, but still I sinned much. I heard that Word, That they which cast off God, God will cast off them; and I feared lest God should cast me away, because of my sins: I was ashamed of my sins, and my heart melted, and I thought I wil give my self to God, and to Christ, and do what he will for ever; and because of this promise of pardon to al that repent and beleeve, my heart desireth to pray to God as long as I live.

Ponampam; The Confession he made on the Fast day, before the great Assembly was as followeth:

BEfore I prayed unto God, I committed all manner of sins; and when I heard the Catechism, That God made me, I did not beleeve it, because I knew I sprang from my Father and Mother, and therefore I despised the Word, and therefore a∣gain I did act all sins, and I did love them. Then God was merciful to me, to let me hear that Word, That al shal pray from the rising to the s••••ting Sun; and then I considered whe∣ther I should pray, but I found not in my heart that all should pray: but then I considered of praying, and what would become of me if I did not pray, and what would become of me, if I did pray; but I thought if I did pray, the Sacbems would be angry, because They did not say, pray to God, and therefore I did not yet pray; but considering of that word, that all shall pray, I was troubled, and I found in my heart that I would pray unto God; and yet I feared that others would laugh at me, and therefore I did not yet pray. Af∣terward God was yet merciful to me, and I heard that God made the World, and the first man, and I thought it was true, and therefore I would pray to God, because he hath made all; and yet when I did pray, I thought I prayed not aright, because I prayed for the sake of man, and I thought this to be a great sin. But then I wondered at Gods free mer∣cy to me, for I saw God made me, and giveth me all mercies: and then was I troubled, and saw that many were my sins, and that I do not yet beleeve; then I prayed, yet my heart sin∣ned, for I prayed only with my mouth: and then I repented of my sins, and then a little I considered and remembred Gods love unto us: but I was a sinner, and many were my

sins, and a little I repented of them; and yet again I sinned, and quickly was my heart full of sin: then again was my heart angry with my self, and often I lost all this again, and fell into sin. Then I heard that word, That God sent Moses to Egypt, and promised I will be with thee; that promise I con∣sidered, but I thought that in vain I did seek, and I was a∣shamed that I did so: and I prayed, Oh God teach me truly to pray, not only before man, but before God, and pardon al these my sins. Again I heard that word, that Christ taught through every Town and Village, Repent and beleeve, and be saved, and a little I beleeved this word, and I loved it, and then I saw all my sins, and prayed for pardon. Again I heard that word, He that casteth off God, him will God cast off; and I found in my heart, that I had done this, and I feared be∣cause of this my sin, lest God should cast me off, and that I should for ever perish in Hell, because God hath cast me off, I having cast of God: then I was troubled about Hell, and what shall I do if I be damned! Then I heard that word, If ye repent and beleeve, God pardons all sins; then I thought, Oh that I had this, I desired to repent and beleeve, and I beg∣ged of God, Oh give me Repentance and Faith, freely do it for me; and I saw God was merciful to do it, but I did not at∣tend the Lord, only sometimes; and I now confess I am asha∣med of my sins, my heart is broken, and melteth in me; I am angry at my self; I desire pardon in Christ; I betrust my soul with Christ, that he may do it for me.

By such time as this man had finished, the time was far spent, and he was the fift in number, their speeches being slow, and they were the more slow at my request, that I might write what they said; & oft I was forced to inquire of my interpreter (who sat by me) because I did not perfectly understand some sentences, especially of some of them: these things did make the work long-som, considering the inlargement of spirit God gave some of them; and should we have proceeded further, it would have been sun-set before the Confessions in likely∣hood would have been finished, besides all the rest of the work that was to be done to finish so solemn a work; and the

place being remote in the woods, the nights long and cold and people not fitted to lie abroad, and no competant lodgings in the place for such persons, and the work of such mo∣ment as wonld not admit an hudling up in hast. And besides all this, though I had fully used all fit means, to have all the Interpreters present that I could, that so the intetpre∣tation might not depend upon my single testemony, yet so it was that they all failed, and I was alone (as I have been wont to be in this work) which providence of God was not to be neglected in so solemn a business. Wherfore the Magi∣strates, Elders, and Grave Men present, advised together what to do, and the Conclusion was, Not to proceed any further at present, yet so to carry the matter, as that the Indians might in no wise be discouraged, but encouraged; to which end, one of the Elders was requested to speak unto the Eng∣lish, the two above said Reasons, viz. The want of Interpre∣ters, And want of Time, to finish at this time so solemn a Work; but to refer it to a more fitting time. And I was de∣sired to declare it to the Indians, which I did to this purpose, That the Magistrates, Elders, and other Christian People pre∣sent, did much rejoyce to hear their Confessions, and advised them to go on in that good way; but as for the gathering a Church among them this day, it could not be; partly, Because neither Mr. Mayhew, nor Mr. Leveridg. nor any Interpreter was here (for whom they knew I had sent, some of themselves being the Messengers to carry Letters time enough) and it was Gods Ordinance, That when any were to judg a Case, though they could beleeve one Witness, yet they could not judg un∣der two or three. Also I told them, That themselves might easily see there was not time enough to finish so solemn a work this day; therefore they advised, and God called to refer it to a fitter season; in which advice they rested: And so was the Work of that day, with prayers unto God, finished; the accomplishment being referred to a fitter season.

As for my self, the Lord put it into the hearts of the Elders, to speak unto me words of Comfort, and acceptance of my poor Labor, expressing their loving fear, lest I should be dis∣couraged by this disappointment: I shall therefore nakedly

declare, and open my very heart in this Matter. The Lord he knoweth, that with much fear, and care I went about this work, even unto the sensible wasting, and weakning of my natural strength, knowing that the investing these young Babee in Christ, with the highest, and all the external pri∣viledges of the Church, the Spouse of Jesus Christ on Earth, would have drawn upon me much more labor and care, lest they should in any wise scandalize the same; unto which I have now more time assigned me by the Lord to prepare them, yea, and a greater advantage than I had before, because this dispensation of the Lord, doth give me occasion to instruct them of their need to be filled with deeper apprehensions of the weight and solemnity of that great Work, though it is most true, that they also came on unto it with many fears, and questions, what they should do when they should be a Church: When therefore I saw the Lord by the Counsel of his Servants (which is an holy reverend Ordinance of Christ) and by his Providence denying me the help of all Interpre∣ters, having many witnesses how much care and pains I took every way I knew, to be supplied therein; and that the work it self was extended by the Lords gracious inlarging them in their Confessions, so that the day was not sufficient to ac∣complish it; I say, when I saw the Lord speaking that dela∣tory word, I cannot express what a load it took off my heart, and I did gladly follow the Lord therein, yea, and I bless the Lord for that day, that it was carried so far as it was, for the cause of Christ hath many waies gained by it, many hun∣dreds of the precious Saints, being much comforted and con∣firmed in their hopes of this work of Christ among them, and their faith and prayers much quickned by what they heard and saw. And because all witnesses failed me, let me say but this, I began, and have followed this work for the Lord according to the poor measure of grace received, & not for base ends. I have been true & faithful unto their souls, and in writing and reading their Confessions, I have not know∣ingly, or willingly made them better, than the Lord helped themselves to make them, but am verily perswaded on good grounds, that I have rather rendered them weaker (for the

most part) than they delivered them; partly by missing some words of weight in some Sentences, partly by my short and curt touches of what they more fully spake, and partly by reason of the different Idioms of their Language and ours.

Now follow those Preparitory Confessions, which were read before the El∣ders, most of them.

The first that made a publick Confession, and was took in Writing, was Peter, a Ruler of Ten a∣mong them, a Godly man, who quickly after he had made this Confession, fell sick, and died, and now injoyeth the fruit of his Faith, the end of his Hope, the salvaion of his Soul, among the Blessed; where I am perswaded he shall be found in the great day. His Confession was as followeth.

VVHen I first prayed to God, I did not fear God, but I feared perdition, because the English had told me, that all should be damned, that call not upon God. But now I know that God made all the world, and I fear him; now I beleeve that which you teach is true; Now I beleeve that God calleth us to Natik, that here we may be ruled by God, and gather a Church; now I beleeve that it is Gods Command, that we should labor Six dayes, and keep the Sabbath on the Seventh day: now my heart is greatly abased for all my sins; for we see though we pray to God we are ready to offend each other, and be angry with each other, and that we love not each other as we should do; and for this I grieve & my heart crieth: now I remember that God saith thou

shalt not lust, but before I prayed to God I was full of lusts. God saith, We must have but one Wife, and at first did make but one man and one woman; but I followed many women. God saith, Remember to keep the Sabbath day ho∣ly; but I did hunt, or shoot, or any thing on the Sabbath day: many other sins I committed; but now I see them, and wil cast them away because they are vile, and God forbiddeth them: when I prayed first my sins were not pardoned, for my praying is worth nothing: now I am humbled, and mourn for my sins and yet cannot deliver my self nor get pardon, therfore I trust Christ with my soul.

The next Confession was made by John Speene, as followeth. His first confession was this,

WHen I first prayed to God, I did not pray for my soul but only I did as my friends did, because I loved them; and though I prayed to God, yet I did not fear sin, nor was I troubled at it. I heard that when good men die, their souls go to God, and are there happy, but I cannot say that I beleeved it. Afterward my heart run away into the coun∣try, after our old wayes, and I did almost cast off praying to God. A little while after that, I saw that I had greatly sinned, and then I saw all my sins, afore I prayed to God, and since I prayed to God, and I saw that God was greatly angry for them, and that I cannot get pardon for them; but yet my heart saith I will pray to God as long as I live: I thought God would not pardon me, and yet I would cast away my sins. I did greatly love hunting, and hated labor: but now I beleeve that word of God, which saith, Six dayes thou shalt la∣bor. and God doth make my body strong to labor.

John Speene, This Confession being short in some main points, he afterward made Confession as followeth.

WHen I first prayed I prayed not for my soul, but for the sake of men, I loved men, and for their sakes I prayed to God. Before I prayed many were my sins, and my heart was heaped full, and ran over in all manner of lusts and sins. After I heard of praying to God, I let it fall and regarded it not; after I came to hear the word, I sometimes feared, but soon lost it again. Then my heart ran away after our former courses, and then what ever I heard I lost, because my heart was run away; and many were my sins, and therfore I could not get pardon, because my heart run away, and many were my sins, and I did indeed go into the Country. But afterwards, I hearing the Catechism, I desired to learn it, and then I beleeved that when Beleevers die, their souls go to God, and are ever happy; when Sinners die, their souls go to Hel and are ever tormented; and that when Christ judges the world, our bodies rise again, and then we shall re∣ceive the judgment of Christ; the good shal stand at his right hand, the bad at his left: this I beleeved was true, and then I saw all my great follies and evils: and now my heart desired to lay by hunting, and to work every day; and this is Gods Command, and therfore a good way; God said, Thou shalt work six daies, and if thou work, thou shalt eat; therfore I be∣leeve it, and my heart promiseth that I will this do as long as I live. Now I see I did great folly, for now I hear that God saith Work; and now I fear because God hath afflicted me, in taking away my brother a Ruler: now I am troubled, I fear I sinned in not beleeving our Ruler, because now God hath taken him away; he taught me good words, but I beleeved them not, and now I repent because Christ calleth me to it: great is the punishment of God in taking away our Ruler; and now I pray, and say to Christ, Oh Jesus Christ

Christ I have sinned: I beleeve that if I repent and be hum∣bled, and pray not only outwardly but inwardly, and be∣leeve in Christ, then God will pardon all my sin; but I can∣not get pardon of sin, I cannot deserve pardon, but only Christ hath merited pardon for us: I cannot deliver my self from all my sins, but Christ redeemeth, and delivereth from all sin: I deserve not one mercy of God, but Christ hath me∣rited all mercies for us.

The next are the Confessions of Robin Speene, who three several times came forth, and confessed as followeth. His first Confession:

I Was ashamed because you taught to pray to God, and I did not take it up; I see God is angry with me for all my sins, and he hath afflicted me by the death of three of my children, and I fear God is still angry, because great are my sins, and I fear lest my children be not gone to Heaven, be∣cause I am a great sinner, yet one of my children prayed to God before it died, and therefore my heart rejoyceth in that. I remember my Panwaning [for he was a Panwan] my lust, my gaming, and all my sins; I know them by the Comman∣dements of God, and God heareth and seeth them all; I can∣not deliver my self from sin, therefore I do need Christ, be∣cause of all my sins, I desire pardon, and I beleeve that God calls all to come to Christ, and that he delivereth us from sin.

Robin Speen, His Second Confession.

I Have found out one word more: great are my sins, and I do not know how to repent, nor do I know the evil of my sins; only this one word, now I confess I want Christ, this day I want him; I do not truly beleeve nor repent: I see my sin, and I need Christ, but I desire now to be redeemed: and I now ask you this Question, What is Redemption?

I answe∣red him, by shewing him our estate by Nature, and desert, the price which Christ paid for us, and how it is to be appli∣ed to every particular person; which done, he proceeded in his Confession thus:

I yet cannot tell whether God hath pardoned my sins, I forget the Word of God; but this I de∣sire, that my sins may de pardoned, but my heart is foolish, and a great part of the Word stayeth not in my heart strong∣ly. I desire to cast all my sins out of my heart: but I re∣member my sins, that I may get them pardoned, I think God doth not yet hear my prayers in this, because I cannot keep the Word of God, only I desire to hear the Word, and that God would hear me.

Robin Speen, His Third Confession.

ONe word more I cal to mind, Great is my sin! this saith my heart, I have found this sin, when I first heard you teach, that all the world from the rising to the sitting Sun should pray to God, I then wondered a•• it, and thought, I

being a great sinner, how shal I pray to God; and when I saw many come to the Meeting, I wondred at it: But now I do not wonder at that work of God, and therefore I think that I do now greatly sin: and now I desire again to wonder at Gods Works, and I desire to rejoyce in Gods good waies. Now I am much ashamed, and fear because I have deserved eternal wrath by my sins: my heart is evil, my heart doth contrary to God: and this I desire, that I may be redeemed, for I can∣not help my self, but only Jesus Christ hath done al this for me, and I deserve no good, but I beleeve Christ hath deserved all for us; and I give my self unto Christ, that he may save me, because he knoweth eternal life, and can give it; I can∣not give it to my self, therefore I need Jesus Christ, my heart is full of evil thoughts; and Christ only can keep my soul from them, because he hath paid for my deliverance from them.

The next are the Confessions of Nishohkou; who twice made preparitory Confessions; the first of which only, was read before the Elders.

GOD in Heaven is merciful, and I am sinful: when I first heard the Word of God, I neither saw nor understood; but after, when you taught these words, Be wise, Oh all ye peo∣ple, and beleeve in Jesus Christ, then I prayed unto God; yet afterwards I sinned, and almost forsook praying to God. Af∣terward I understood, That God who made all the World was merciful to sinners: and truly I saw my heart very sinful, be∣cause I promised God to pray as long as I live, but my heart hath not so done. Again I promised God I will follow Christ in al things, and now I find my heart backward, and not so forward to make a Church. God promiseth, If foolish ones pray to God for Wisdom he will give it: this Promise I be∣leeve, but I find my heart full of temptations; but now I pro∣mise

God, as in the Psalm,* 1.1 All my works shal be done in wis∣dom, for I confess al my works and words, have been foolish. God is wise and good, but I am foolish. God who hath made the World, sent his own Son Jesus: and Jesus Christ hath died for us, and deserved for us, pardon and life, this is true; and he hath done for me all Gods Commandements, for I can do nothing, because I am very sinful. God in Heaven is very merciful, and therfore hath called me to pray unto God. God hath promised to pardon al their sins, who pray unto God, and beleeve in the Promise of Christ, and Christ can give me to beleeve in him.

When he had made this Confession, he was much abashed, for he is a bashful man; many things he spoke that I missed, for want of through understanding some words and sentences: therfore before the Fast day he made a∣nother Confession, which was not read before the El∣ders; which was as followeth.

Nishohkou

I am dead in sin, Oh! that my sins might die, for they cannot give life, because they be dead: before I prayed to God, I did commit all filthynesse, I prayed to many gods, I was proud, full of lusts, adulteries, and all others sins, and therefore this is my first Confession, that God is merci∣full, and I am a sinner, for God have given unto me instruction and causeth me to pray unto God, but I only pray words; when I prayed, I somtimes wondered, and thought true it is that God made the world, and me: and then I thought I knew God, because I saw these his works, and then I was glad somtimes, and gave thanks; yet presently again I did not rejoyce in it. Again somtimes I thought, now I do wel because I pray, and work not on the Sabbath daies, but come to the Meetings, and hear the Word of God: But afterward again, I thought I do not wel, because true it is, That yet I do

not truly pray; for now I see I sin when I pray, because there is nothing but sin in my mouth, or hand, or heart, and all sins are there, for of these my sins my heart is full, because my heart doth sometimes lust, and steal, and the like. A∣gain, I was not only proud before I prayed, but now I am proud. Again, sometimes my heart is humbled, and then I pray, Oh God have mercy on me, and pardon these my sins; yet sometimes I know not whether God did either hear my prayer, or pardon my sins. Again, afterwards I thought I had greatly sinned, because I heard of the good way of pra∣ying unto God, but I do wickedly because I pray not truly, yea, sometimes I have much ado to pray with my mouth, and therfore I sin. I heard of that good way, to keep the Sab∣bath, and not to work on that day, and I did so: but yet a∣gain I sinned in it, because I did not reverence the Word of God; yea, and sometimes I thought that working on the Sabbath was no great matter. Again, I heard it was a good way to come to the Meetings, and hear the word of God, and I desired to do it; but in this also I sinned, because I did not truly hear: yea, sometimes I thought it no great matter if I heard not, and cared not to come to hear, and still I so sin∣ned. Then I thought God was angry, because I have great∣ly sinned; desiring to do well, and yet again to sin. When I desired to do well, then I sinned, and in all things I sinned. But afterward I was angry with my self, and thought I will not sin again; and what God saith, is good, but I am sinful because I have done all these evils. Again, sometimes my heart is humbled, and then I repent, and say, Oh God and Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, and pardon my sins. Now I desire truly to pray; now I desire to reverence the Word every Sabbath day: now I desire to hear the Word of God truly; now I desire to bend my heart to pray, and it may be God will hear me: but quickly after a temptation cometh to my heart, and I did not desire it. Again, sometimes I did think, true it is I can do nothing of my self, but Jesus Christ must have mercy on me, because Christ hath done for me all Gods Commandements and good Works, therfore my heart saith, Oh Jesus give me desires after thee: sometimes I think it is

true, I have greatly sinned against God, but great are his mer∣cies: sometimes I hear the Word on the Sabbath day, and he giveth it me, [that is, maketh it my own] sometimes I say the great and mighty God is in Heaven, but these are but words, because I do not fear this great and mighty God; and I sometimes regard not Gods Word, and make it of none ef∣fect, because I do not that which is good, but commit sin: sometimes I say I know Christ, because I know he died for us, and hath redeemed us, and procured pardon for us: yet a∣gain I say I sin, because I beleeve not Christ, for that only is right to beleeve in Christ, and do what he saith; but I think I do this in vain, because I yet do not truly beleeve in Jesus Christ, nor do what he commandeth, and therefore my heart plays the hypocrite; and now I know what is hypocrisie, namely, when I know what I should do, and yet do it not. Sometimes I think I am like unto Satan, because I do al these sins, and sin in all things I do; if I pray I sin, If I keep Sabbath I sin, if I hear Gods Word I sin, therefore I am like the Devil. Now I know I deserve to go to Hell, because all these sins I have committed: then my heart is troubled, and I say, Oh God and Christ pardon all my sin, for I cannot par∣don my sins my self; for the first man brought sin into the world, and therfore I am sinful, therfore I pray thee O Lord pardon all the sins which I have done. Again, sometimes my heart is humbled, and I desire to fear God, because he is a great God, and I desire to do what he saith, and now I de∣sire to do the right way, and now I desire to beleeve Jesus Christ; and sometimes I think it may be God will hear me, it may be he will pardon me, yet again I think I cannot be a∣shamed of sin; but now I am ashamed of all my sins, and my heart is broken, and all these my sins I cast off, and take heed of: yet then again I sometimes say to God, I cannot my self be humbled, or break my heart, or cast off sin, but I pray thee O Jesus help me to do it. Again, sometimes I confess this is true, I cannot redeem my self, nor deliver my self, be∣cause of all these my many sins; truly, full is my heart of sin in every thing, all my thoughts, my words, my looks, my works are full of sin; true 〈◊〉〈◊〉 therefore I cannot deliver

my self from sin; Oh redeem thou my soul from Hel and tor∣ment, for I like not to do it with my own hand, therfore I de∣sire Jesus Christ, that I may delight in him; take thou me and my soul, because thou hast done Gods word, and all good works for me, and hast procured pardon for all my sins, and hast prepared pardon in Heaven, therfore I desire, Oh I desire pardon: but I somtimes think Christ doth not delight in me because I do much play the hypocrite, but if I truly beleeve then he will pardon, but true faith I cannot work; Oh Jesus Christ help me, and give it me.

Another who made Confession, is named Magus; which is as followeth:

HEretofore I beleeved not, that God made the world, but I thought the world was of it self, and all people grew up in the world of themselves. When any bid me pray to God, I said I cannot, and none of our Rulers beleeve or pray to God; yet I went about to seek how to pray to God. I told the wise men, I seek how to pray to God, and all of them could not find how to pray to God. Afterward I had a desire to pray God, lest I should lose my soul, but my heart run away, and I could not find how to pray to God, and therefore I thought of going away; yet I also thought if I do go away, I shall lose my ground. But after this I heard of Gods anger against me, and I beleeved it; for God made the first man good, and told him if he did well he should live, and this day I beleeve all men should do so: and then I thought I will pray as long as I live, and I will labor, because Gods promise is, If we labor we shall eat; and I see that that is a true word; for they that do labor do eat [that is, have wherewith to be fed] I see that sin alwaies hath conti∣nued, from the beginning of the world. I beleeve that word which God told Eve, That in sorrow she should bring forth

Children, and I see it dayly to be true. I beleeve that word of God, that sin brings misery, and all shall die, be∣cause by sin, we break all the Commands of God: I have been full of lusts, and thefts, &c. all my life, and all the time I have lived. I have done contrary to the Com∣mand of God. And I am now grieved, now I hear of all my sins: I beleeve Christ doth convert me to God, and he calleth Children, and old men, and all men to turn unto God, and from their sins; he calleth to sorrow and repentance, and ever to beleeve in Christ; and who ever doth this, shall be ever blessed in Heaven; but if he do it not, he perisheth: if he turn not from sin, dying, he shall go to Hell for ever. I think also, that so long as I live, God doth give me life. I beleeve that we ought to gather into a Church, to serve God as long as we live. But I do not know whether yet God hath pardoned my sins, or not; but I know Christ, and I know he hath already dyed for me, because I cannot re∣deem my self.

Another who made Confession, was named Poqua∣num; which was as followeth. His first Confession.

A Great while ago the English would tell me of God but I hated it, and would go out of doors, when they so spake unto me, and I murmured at it. When the Indians first prayed to God, I did not think there was a God, or that the Bible was Gods Book, but that wise men made it: When some prayed to God, I went with them, but I did not know God. Afterward my mind was changed thus far, That I desired to be wise, as others were, but yet I knew no∣thing of God; yea, after I prayed to God. I still did think there was no God. Afterward I found this in my heart, That we pray to God for our souls, then I thought all my

praying was nothing, because I was so foolish that I never thought of dying: but after, I learned, That all must die, and good mens souls go to Heaven; and then I thought of dying, and of my soul: but then I thought we prayed for nothing but that our souls might go to Heaven; I knew no∣thing of Christ. But after, when the Children were Cate∣chised, and taught the ten Commandements, I hearkned, and by them I came to know that there was a God, and that there was sin against God; and hereby God made me to see all my sins, both before I prayed to God, and since; and I saw Gods anger against me for my sins, before, and since I prayed, be∣cause sometimes I came not to the Meeting; brake my word, regarded not my children, and I see sin in me, and therfore I do greatly fear Gods anger.

Poquanum; His Second Confession was as followeth:

BEfore I prayed unto God, I greatly sinned, I prayed to many gods, and used Panwaning, Adultery, Lust, Lying, and al other sins, and many were my sins, evil thoughts, e∣vil words, and nothing else but evil, hatred, and pride, and all sins against God, coveting other mens goods; when I stole, I added lying to it when I had done; I was very proud, I much hatred many men, and loved them not because I was angry with them; and thus I did every day: I would slan∣der my neighbors, great was my pride, I was dayly angry with my neighbors, my heart was alwaies full of such waies. When the English said, Pray to God, I cared not for God, because I loved sin, nor did I desire that God should forgive my sin. Afterward I heard the word, That if we truly pray, mourn for sin, cast off sin; desire to hear the word, and beleeve in Christ, God will then pardon, and when he dieth Christ will lead him to Heaven: I much rejoyced to hear of this

pardon, but I must truly beleeve in Christ, else I shal not have pardon; and first I thought God will not pardon me, because I still sinned. But afterward I heard, That though we should pray as long as we live, and never sin more, yet that was of no value; but we must beleeve in Christ, else there is no pardon; and this I rejoyced at.

Another who made Confession, is named Nookau, which is as followeth. His first Confession.

FIve years ago, before I prayed I was sick, I thought I should die; at which I was much troubled, and knew not what to do; then I thought, if there be a God above, and he give life again, then I shall beleeve there is a God above, and God did give me life: and after that I took up praying to God. Now I beleeve God, one God that made all the World, and governeth it, yet this I only said with my mouth, I did not truly beleeve it in my heart. Then I understood, That God made the first man good, and like God, but he sinned, and we have lost Gods Image, and are like the Devil, and de∣serve Hell and Damnation: this I now know, and see that I am foolish, and sometime think not of God in an whol day, sometime I do think of God every day; sometime my heart greatly sinneth, then sometime I presently fear, but again sometimes I am slow to fear; I am very foolish because I do not understand the Word, but break the Word of God. I beleeve the Catechism we learn to be according to the Word of God; but the writings of the Bible are the very Words of God, and the Spirit of God is the Word, and that God gi∣veth all things that are good: I now see my sins before I prayed unto God, and since, and I beleeve that God seeth them all: and my heart feareth, because I do not yet forsake my sins, and I think God will not forgive me: because my

heart is wicked; I know not when Christ forgiveth my sins, others may know, but I desire that my sins may be pardoned for Christ his sake.

Nookau, His Second Confession.

BEfore I prayed to God, I greatly sinned every day, I was proud, and lived in adultery, lying, &c. and my heart alwaies full of evil thoughts, and when the English would in∣struct me, I then thought my waies evil, but the business of praying to God, good; then I did think, if I could first un∣derstand, then I would pray to God, and I was glad to hear of any that did pray to God. When I heard that word at Co∣hannet, Who ever lacketh wisdom, let him ask it of God; let fools pray to God, and he will give them wisdom: I thought I was a fool, and I beleeved that Word of God. I heard that word of the dry bones, God bid them hear, and promised to put flesh, and sinews, and skin upon them, and make them live; therefore I desired to hear, because I beleeved the dry bones, and that I was one that did not know God: afterward I was glad of praying to God. Sometimes I beleeved not God, and God will not look on such, alwaies I thought God will not forgive me. I wondred at all that prayed to God, because I thought God had given them wisdom: then I thought I am glad I pray to God. Sometime my heart is bro∣ken because I shall lose all in this world, and lose my soul also, because I beleeve not, for all the Words of God are true which he hath taught me. Now this day I think I will con∣fess the truth; Because I have sinned, I want Jesus Christ: and I will truly confess God, because of that word of Christ, He that confesseth me before men, him will I confess before my Fa∣ther: I wonder at this Instruction, I desire to confess my heart.

Another who made his Confession is named Antony, upon whom the Lord was pleased the last Winter to lay an heavy stroke; for he and another Indi∣an being at work sawing of Board, and finishing the Peece, they laid it so short, and the Rowl not so stedfast, insomuch that this man being in the Pit directing to lay the Piece, and the other a∣bove ordering thereof, it slipped down into the Pit upon this mans head, brake his neather Chap in two, and cracked his Skull, insomuch that he was taken up half dead, and almost strangled with blood; and being the last day of the week at night I had no word until the Sabbath day, then I pre∣sently sent a Chyrurgion, who took a discreet order with him; and God so blessed his indeavors, as that he is now well again, blessed be the Lord: and whereas I did fear that such a blow in their Labor might discourage them from Labor, I have found it by Gods blessing otherwise; yea, this man hath performed a great part of the sawing of our Meeting-House, and is now fawing upon the School-house, and his recovery is an establishment of them to go on; yea, and God blessed this blow, to help on the Work of Grace in his soul; as you shall see in his Confession, which followeth.

BEfore I prayed to God I alwaies committed sin, but I do not know all my sins, I know but a little of the sins I have committed, therefore I thought I could not pray to God, be∣cause I knew not al my sins before I prayed to God, and since I heard of praying to God: formerly when the English did bid me pray unto God I hated it, and would go out of their hou∣ses, when they spake of such things to me. I had no delight to hear any thing of Gods Word, but in every thing I sinned; in my speeches I sinned, and every day I broke the Commands of God. After I heard of praying to God, that Waban and my two brothers prayed to God, yet then I desired it not, but did think of running away; yet I feared if I did run away some wicked men would kill me, but I did not fear God. After when you said unto me, pray, my heart thought, I will pray; yet again I thought, I cannot pray with my heart, and no mat∣ter for praying with words only: but when I did pray, I saw more of my sins; yet I did but only see them, I could not be a∣ware of them, but still I did commit them: and after I prayed to God, I was still full of lust, and then a little I feared. Some∣times I was sick, and then I thought God was angry, and then I saw that I did commit all sins: then one of my brothers di∣ed, and then my heart was broken, and after him another friend, and again my heart was broken: and yet after all this I broke my praying to God, and put away God, and then I thought I shall never pray to God: but after this I was afraid of the Lord, because I alwaies broke my praying to God, and then my heart said, God doth nor hear my prayer. When I was sick, and recovered again, I thought then that God was merciful unto me. Hearing that word of God, If you hear the Word of God, and be forgetful hearers, you sin against God; then I thought God will not pardon such a sinner as I, who dayly did so, and broke my praying to God. When I heard the

Commandements, I desired to learn them, and other points of Catechism, but my desires were but small, and I soon lost it, because I did not desire to beleeve: then sometimes I feared Gods anger because of al my sins; I heard the Word and un∣derstood only this word, All you that hear this day, it may be you shall quickly die, and then I quickly saw that God was very angry with me. Then God brake my head, and by that I saw Gods anger; and then I thought that the true God in Hea∣ven is angry with me for my sin, even for al my sins, which e∣very day I live, I do. When I was almost dead, some body bid me now beleeve, because it may be I shal quickly die, and I thought I did beleeve, but I did not know right beleeving in Christ: then I prayed unto God to restore my health. Then I beleeved that word, That we must shortly appear before Jesus Christ; then I did greatly fear lest if I beleeved not, I should perish for ever. When I was neer death, I prayed unto God, Oh Lord give me life, and I will pray to God so long as I live, and I said, I will give my self, soul, and body to Christ: after this, God gave me health, and then I thought, truly, God in Heaven is merciful; then I much grieved, that I knew so little of Gods Word. And now sometimes I am angry, and then I fear be∣cause I know God seeth it: and I fear, because I promised God when I was almost dead, that if he giveth me life, I will pray so long as I live; I fear lest I should break this pro∣mise to God. Now I desire the pardon of all my sins, and I beg faith in Christ, and I desire to live unto God, so long as I live; I cannot my self get pardon, but I dayly commit sin, and break Gods Word, but I look to Christ for pardon.

Another who made His Confession is named Owussumag; which is as followeth:

WHen I first heard that Waban prayed to God, and after that many more prayed. I first feared praying

to God, and instruction, and I hated instruction by the Word of God, and alwaies I laughed at them who prayed to God; and I alwaies thought I will yet more commit sin: and I went into the Country, and there I acted much lust, adultry, and the like, and all my Neighbors, we did together seek after wickedness, and every day I was proud, and of high or open eyes. When some of my neighbors began to pray, I went a∣way into the Country, but I could find no place where I was beloved. Then I heard, That when beleevers die, they go to Heaven, when sinners die they go to Hel; and my heart consi∣dered, What good will it be if my soul go to Heaven? But two years ago, I began to think, I had sinned against God; and then somtimes I feared, yet again sinned; but my fear was of man, not of God: Then ever my heart said I should be better, if I would pray to God, and somtimes I beleeved that which I was taught, yet again, last year, I sought to go away afar off, but I could think of no place, but I should be in danger to be killed. Then again I much remembred my sins: and again I thought, What will become of me, if I die in my sins? and then I thought it was good for me to pray unto God so long as I live; and then my heart turned to praying unto God, and I did pray, and my heart feared when I heard the word read and taught, and I was glad to hear the Word of God; and then I purposed to pray as long as I live. Sometime I did dayly see my sins, and fear, for I cannot get pardon, only in Jesus Christ. Then I heard that word, I thank thee oh Heavenly father, that thou hast revealed these things to babes; and that word, that we must forgive each other: then I saw that I beleeved not one word from Christ, not any word of God; and dayly my heart wept, that Christ might pardon all my sins against God and Christ: and now unto this day my heart saith▪ I desire the good waies of praying to God, but I cannot know them of my self, but Jesus Christ must teach me them. When I heard, That only Christ must teach me them. When I heard, That only Christ must pardon our sins, and that for Christ God will pardon our sins, this day I rejoyce to hear that word of God, and all that Christ hath taught me: and now I purpose, That while I live, I will pray unto God, and

Jesus Christ only: and this day I see I cannot know how to find good thoughts; but this day I desire pardon for all my sins, and to cast them away.

Another who made Confession, is named Ephraim, his Indian Name I have forgotten. It is as followeth:

ALL the daies I have lived, I have been in a poor foolish condition, I cannot tell all my sins, all my great sins, I do not see them. When I first heard of praying to God, I could not sleep quietly, I was so troubled, ever I thought I would forsake the place because of praying to God, my life hath been like as if I had been a mad man. Last yeer I thought I would leave all my sins, yet I see I do not leave off sinning to this day; I now think I shall never be able to for∣sake my sins. I think sometimes the Word of God is false, yet I see there is no giving over that I might follow sin, I must pray to God; I do not truly in my heart repent, and I think that God wil not forgive me my sins; every day my heart sin∣neth, and how will Christ forgive such an one? I pray but outwardly with my mouth, not with my heart; I cannot of my self obtain pardon of my sins▪ I cannot tell all the sins that I have done if I should tell you an whol day together: I do every morning desire that my sins may be pardoned by Jesus Christ; this my heart saith, but yet I fear I cannot forsake my sins, because I cannot see all my sins: I hear, That if we repent and beleeve in Christ, all our sins shall be pardoned, therefore I desire to leave off my sins.

This poor Publican was the l••st which made his Confession before I read them unto the Elders, and the last of them I shall now publish. I will shut up these Confessions with the Confession (if I may so call it) or rather with the Expression, and manifestation of saith, by two little

Infants, of two yeers old, and upward, under three yeers of age when the died and departed out of this world.

The Story is this,

THis Spring, in the beginning of the yeer, 1652. the Lord was pleased to afflict sundry of our praying Indians with that grievous disease of the Bloody-Flux, whereof some with great torments in their bowels died; among which were two little Children of the age above-said, and at that time both in one house, being together taken with that disease. The first of these Children in the extremities of its torments, lay crying to God in these words, God and Jesus Christ, God and Jesus Christ help me; and when they gave it any thing to eat, it would greedily take it (as it is usual at the approach of death) but first it would cry to God, Oh God and Jesus Christ, bless it, and then it would take it: and in this manner it lay calling upon God and Jesus Christ untill it died: The mother of this Child also died of that disease, at that time. The Father of the Child told me this story, with great wonderment at the grace of God, in teaching his Child so to call upon God. The name of the Father is Nishohkou, whose Confession you have before.

Three or four daies after, another Child in the same house, sick of the same disease, was (by a divine hand doubtless) sen∣sible of the approach of death, (an unusual thing at that age) and called to its Father, and said, Father, I am going to God, several times repeating it, I am going to God▪ The mother (as other mothers use to do) had made for the Child a little Bas∣ket, a little Spoon, and a little Tray: these things the child was wont to be greatly delighted withal (as all children will) therefore in the extremity of the torments, they set those things before it, a little to divert the mind, and cheer the spi∣rit: but now, the child takes the Basket, and puts it away, and said, I will leave my Basket behind me, for I am going to God, I will leave my Spoon and Tray behind me (putting them away) for I am going to God: and with these kind of expressions, the same night, finished its course, and died.

The Father of this child is named Robin Speen, whose Con∣fessions

you have before, and in one of them he maketh men∣tion of this child that died in faith. When he related this story to me, he said, He could not tell whether the sorrow for the death of his child, or the joy for its faith were greater, when it died.

These Examples are a testimony, That they teach their chil∣dren the knowledg and fear of God, whom they now call up∣on; and also that the Spirit of God co-worketh with their instructions, who teacheth by man, more than man is able to do.

I have now finished all that I purpose to publish at this time; the Lord give them Acceptance in the hearts of his Saints, to engage them the more to pray for them; and Oh! that their judgings of themselves, and breathings after Christ, might move others (that have more means than they have, but as yet regard it not) to do the like, and much more abun∣dantly.

FINIS.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Psalm, 101. 2.