Five nevv playes, viz. The English moor, or the mock-marriage. The love-sick court, or the ambitious politique: Covent Garden weeded. The nevv academy, or the nevv exchange. The queen and concubine. / By Richard Brome.

THE COVENT-GARDEN Weeded.

ACT. I.

SCENE I.

Cockbrayne, Rookes-bill.

Cock.

I Marry Sir! This is something like! These appear like Buildings! Here's Architecture exprest in∣deed! It is a most sightly scitua∣tion, and fit for Gentry and Nobility.

Rook.

When it is all finished, doubtlesse it will be handsome.

Cock.

It will be glorious: and yond magnificent Peece, the Piazzo, will excel that at Venice, by hear∣say, (I ne're travell'd). A hearty blessing on their braines, honours, and wealths, that are Projectors, Furtherers, and Performers of such great works. And now I come to you Mr. Rookesbill: I like your Rowe of houses most incomparably. Your money never

shone so on your Counting-boards, as in those Stru∣ctures.

Rook.

I have pil'd up a Leash of thousand pounds in walls and windows there.

Cock.

It will all come again with large en∣crease.

And better is your money thus let out on red and white, then upon black and white, I say. You can∣not think how I am taken with that Rowe! How even and straight they are! And so are all indeed. The Surveyor (what e're he was) has manifested himself the Master of his great Art. How he has wedded strength to beauty; state to uniformity; commodi∣ousnesse with perspicuity! All, all as't should be!

Rook.

If all were as well tenanted and inhabited by worthy persons.

Cock.

Phew; that will follow. What new Planta∣tion was ever peopled with the better sort at first; nay, commonly, the lewdest blades, and naughty∣packs are either necessitated to 'hem, or else do prove the most forward venturers. Is not lime and hair the first in all your foundations? do we not soile or dung our lands, before we sowe or plant any thing that's good in 'hem? And do not weeds creep up first in all Gardens? and why not then in this? which never was a Garden until now; and which will be the Gar∣den of Gardens, I foresee't. And for the weeds in it, let me alone for the weeding of them out. And so as my Reverend Ancestor Justice Adam Overdoe, was wont to say, In Heavens name and the Kings, and for the good of the Common-wealth I will go a∣bout it.

Rook.

I would a few more of the Worshipful here∣abouts, (whether they be in Commission or not) were as well minded that way as you are Sir; we should

then have all sweet and clean, and that quickly too.

Cock.

I have thought upon a way for't, Mr. Rooks∣bill: and I will pursue it, viz. to finde out all the enormities, yet be my selfe unspied: whereby I will tread out the spark of impiety, whilest it is yet a spark and not a flame; and break the egge of a mis∣chief, whilest it is yet an egge and not a Cockatrice. Then doubt not of worthy tenants for your houses Mr. Rooksbill.

Rook.

I hope, Sir, your best furtherance.

Cock.

I had a letter bur last night from a worthy friend, a West-countrey Gentleman, that is, now coming up with his family to live in Town here; and desire is to inhabit in these buildings. He was to lie at Hammersmith last night, and requested an early meeting of me this morning here, to assist him in the taking of a house. It is my businesse hither; for he could never do't himselfe. He has the oldest touchy, wrangling humour.—But in a harmlesse way; for he hurts no body, and pleases himself in it. His children have all the trouble of it, that do anger him in obeying him sometimes. You will know him anon. I mean, he shall be your Tenant. And luckily he comes.

Enter Croswill, Gabriel, Katherine, Belt.

Cros.

It is not enough you tell me of obedience. Or that you are obedient. But I will be obeyed in my own way. Do you see—

(to Gab. and Ka.)

Cock.

My noble friend Mr. Croswill, right happi∣ly met.

Cros.

Your troublesome friend Mr. Cockbrayne.

Cock.

No trouble at all, Sir, though I have pre∣vented

yours in finding a fit house for you.

Cros.

You ha' not ha' you, ha?

Cock.

Actum est Mr. Croswill. But Civility par∣don me, Is not this your daughter?

Kisse.

Cros.

All the Shee-things I have: and would I were well rid of her too.

Cock.

Sweet Mrs. Katherine, Welcome—Mr. Gabriel, I take it.

Gab.

Gabriel Croswill is my name.

Cock.

But where's your younger sonne Mihill? There's a spark!

Cros.

A Spark! A dunce I fear by this time like his brother Sheepshead there.

Gab.

Gabriel is my proper name.

Gros.

I have not seen him this Twelve-moneth, since I chamber'd him a Student here in Town.

Cock.

In town, and I not know it?

Cros.

He knows not yet of my coming neither, nor shall not, till I steal upon him; and if I finde him mopish like his brother, I know what I will doe.

Cock.

Have you not heard from him lately?

Cros.

Yes, often by his letters, lesse I could reade more comfort in 'hem. I fear he's turn'd Precisian, for all his Epistles end with Amen; and the-matter of 'hem is such as if he could teach me to ask him blessing.

Rook.

A comfortable hearing of a young man.

Cros.

Is it so Sir? but I'le new mould him if it be so.—I'le tell you Mr. Cockbrayne; never was such a father so crost in his children. They will not obey me in my way. I grant, they do things that other fathers would rejoyce at. But I will be obeyed in my own way, dee see. Here's my eldest sonne. Mark how he stands, as if he had learn't a posture at Knights-bridge

spittle as we came aloug while-eare. He was not only borne without wit, but with an obstinate re∣solution, never to have any. I mean, such wit as might become a Gentleman.

Cock.

Was that resolution borne in him think you.

Cros.

It could never grow up in him still as it does else. When I would have him take his horse, and follow the dogs, and associate Gentlemen, in hawk∣ing, hunting, or such like exercises, he'l run you a foot five mile another way, to meet the brethren of the separation, at such exercises as I never sent him to (I am sure) on worky dayes. And whereas most Gentlemen run into other mens books, in hands that they care not who reades, he has a book of his own Short-writing in his pocket, of such stuffe as is fit for no mans reading indeed but his own.

Gab.

Surely Sir.—

Cros.

Sure you are an Asse. Hold your tongue.

Gab.

You are my father.

Rook.

What comfort should I have, were my son such.

Cros.

And he has nothing but hang'd the head, as you see now, ever since Holiday sports were cried up in the Countrey. And but for that, and to talk with some of the silenc'd Pastors here in town about it, I should not have drawn him up.

Rook.

I would I could change a sonne w' you Sir.

Cros.

What kinde of thing is thy sonne? ha! dost thou look like one that could have a sonne fit for me to father, ha? And yet the best take both, and t' please you at all adventures, ha?

Rook.

I am sure there cannot be a worse, or more debauch'd reprobate then mine is living.

Cros.

And is the devil too good a Master for

him, think'st thou, ha? Wherein can I deserve so ill at thy hands, fellow, whate're thou art, that thou should'st wish me comber'd with a worse burden, when thou hearest me complain of this, ha? What is this fellow that you dare know him, Friend Cock∣brayn? I will not dwell within three parishes of him.

Rook.

My tenant! Blesse me from him. I had ra∣ther all my Rents were Bawdy houses.

Cock.

Think nothing of his words, he'll forget all instantly. The best natur'd man living.

Cros.

Dost thou stand like a son now that hears his father abus'd, ha?

Gab.

I am praying for the conversion of the young man he speaks of.

Coek.

Well said, Mr. Gabriel.

Cros.

But by the way, where's your sonne Antho∣ny? have you not heard of him yet?

Cock.

Never since he forsook me, on the discon∣tent he took, in that he might not marry your daugh∣ret there. And where he lives, or whether he lives or not, I know not. I hope your davghter is a comfort to you.

Cros.

Yes, in keeping her chamber whole weeks together, fullenning upon her Samplery breech-work, when I was in hope she would have made me a Grand∣father ere now. But she has a humour, forsooth, since we put your son by her, to make me a match-broker, her marriage-Maker; when I tell you friend, there has been so many untoward matches of Pa∣rents making, that I have sworn she shall make her own choice, though it be of one I hate. Make me her match-maker! Must I obey her, or she me, ha?

Cock.

I wish, with teares, my sonne had had her now.

Kat.

Wherein Sir, (under correction do I disobey you?

Cros.

In that very word, under correction, thou dis∣obey'st me. Are you to be under correction at these yeares? ha! If I ha' not already taught you manners beyond the help of correction, go, seek a wiser father to mend 'hem.

Kat.

Yet give me leave, dear Sir, in my ex∣cuse.—

Cros.

Leave out correction then.

Kat.

If I were forward as many Maidens are, To wish a husband, must I not be sought? I never was a Gadder: and my Mother, Before she dy'd, adjur'd me to be none. I hope you'll give me leave to keep your house.

Cros.

La there again! How subtly she seeks dominion over me! No, huswife, No; you keep no house of mine. I'll nestle you no longer under my wing. Are you not fledge; I'll have you fly out I, as other mens daughters do; and keep a house of your own if you can find it.

Gab.

We had a kinswoman flew out too late∣ly, I take it.

Cros.

What tell'st thou me of her; wise-acres? Can they not flie out a little, but they must turne arrant vvhores, ha? Tell me of your kinswoman? 'Tis true, she was my Neece; she vvent to't a little afore her time? some tvvo years since, and so fled from Re∣ligion; and is turn'd Turk, vve fear. And vvhat of that in your precisiancial vvisdom? I have such children as no man has. But (as I vvas saying,) vvould ye top me husvvife, ha! Look you, novv I chide her, she sayes nothing. Is this obedience, ha?

Kat.

Perhaps, I might unfortunately cast my affecti∣on on a man that vvould refuse me.

Cros.

That man I vvould desire to knovv; shevv me that man; see if I svvinge him not dares slight my daughter.

Cock.

Still the old humour, self-vvill'd, crosse, and touchie; but suddainly reconcil'd. Come, Mr. Cros∣wil, to the businesse.

Cros.

Oh, you told me of a house you had found for me.

Cock.

Yes Sir. And here's the Landlord.

Cros.

Does he look, or go like one could let a house vvorthy of me.

Cock.

Sir, vve have able Builders here, that vvill not carry least shevv of their buildings on their backs. This is a rich sufficient man, I assure you, and my friend.

Cros.

I cry him heartily mercy, and embrace him. And novv I note you better, you look like Thrift it self.

Enter Dorcas above upon a Bellconie. Gabriel gazes at her. Dorcas is habited like a Curtizan of Venice.

I cannot think you vvill throvv avvay your houses at a cast. You have a sonne, perhaps, that may, by the commendations you gave of him. Lets see your house.

Cock.

Come avvay Mr. Gabriel.

Cros.

Come Sir, vvhat do you gape a••d shake the head at there? I'll lay my life he has spied the little Crosse upon the nevv Church yond, and is at defiance vvith it. Sirrah, I vvill make you honour the first syllable of my name. My name is Will. Croswill, and I vvill have my humour. Let those that talk of me for it, speak their pleasure, I vvill do mine.

Gab.

I shall obey you, Sir.

Cros.

Novv you are in the right. You shall indeed. I'll make your heart ake else, dee see.

Gab.

But truly I vvas looking at that Image; that

painted idolatrous image yonder, as I take it.

Cock.

O heresie! It is some Lady, or Gentlewo∣man standing upon her Bellconey.

Belt.

Her Bellconey? Where is it? I can spy from her foot to her face, yet I can see no Bellconey she has.

Cock.

What a Knave's this: That's the Bellconey she stands on, that which jets out so on the forepart of the house; every house here has one of 'hem.

Belt.

'Tis very good; I like the jetting out of the forepart very well; it is a gallant fashion indeed.

Cock.

I guess what she is, what ere I have said. O Justice look to thine office.

Cros.

Come now to this house, and then to my son Mihil, the Spark you spoke of. And if I find him cross too, I'le cross him: Let him look to't▪ Dee see.

Cock.

I'le see you hous'd; and then about my pro∣ject, which is for weeding of this hopeful Garden.

Ex. omnes.

Gabriel stayes last looking up at her.

Dam.

Why should not we in England use that free∣dome The famous Curtezans have in Italy: We have the art, and know the Theory To allure and catch the wandring eyes of Lovers; Yea, and their hearts too: but our stricter Lawes Forbids the publique practise, our desires Are high as theirs; our wills as apt and forward; Our wits as ripe, our beauties more attractive; Or Travellers are shrewd lyars. Where's the let? Only in bashful coward custome, that Stoops i'the shoulders, and submits the neck To bondage of Authority; to these Lawes, That men of feeble age and weaker eye-sight Have fram'd to bar their sons from youthful pleasures. Possets and Cawdels on their queasie stomacks,

Whilst I fly out in brave rebellion; And offer, at the least, to break these shackles That holds our legs together: And begin A fashion, which pursu'd by Cyprian Dames, May perswade Justice to allow our Games. Who knows? I'le try. Francisca bring my Lute.

Enter Fran. with Lute.

while she is tuning her Lute: Enter Nich. Rookesbill, Anthony in a false beard, Clotpoll.

Clot.

Troth I have a great mind to be one of the Philoblathici, a Brother of the Blade and Battoon, as you translate it; now ye have beat it into my head: But I fear I shall never come on and off handsomely. I have mettal enough methinks, but I know not how methinks to put it out.

Nich.

We'l help you out with it, and set it flying for you never doubt it.

Clot.

Obotts, you mean my money mettal, I mean my valour mettal I.

Ant.

Peace, heark.

Clot.

T'other flyes fast enough already.

Nic.

Pox on ye peace.

Song.

Nic.

O most melodious.

Clot.

Most odious, Did you say? It is methinks most odoriferous.

Ant.

What new devise can this be? Look!

Nic.

She is vanisht. Is't not the Mountebanks Wife that was here; and now come again to play some new merry tricks by herself.

Clot.

A botts on't, I never saw that Mountebank; they say, he brought the first resort into this new plan∣tation, and sow'd so much seed of Knavery and Co∣zenage here, that 'tis fear'd 'twill never out.

Nic.

Nay but this creature: What can she be?

Clot.

And then again, he drew such flocks of idle people to him, that the Players, they say, curst him abhominably.

Ant,

Thou ever talk'st of the wrong matter.

Clot.

Cry mercy Brothers of the Blade and Bat∣toune: Do you think if I give my endeavour to it, I shall ever learn to roar and carry it as you do, that have it naturally, as you say.

Nic.

Yes, as we'll beat it into you. But this wo∣man, this musical woman, that set her self out to show so, I would be satisfied in her.

Clot.

And she be as able as she seems, she has in her to satisfie you, and you were a Brother of ten Blades, and ten Battounes.

Nic.

I vow—Peace. I'le battoune thy teeth into thy tongue else; she bears a stately presence. Thou never saw'st her before: Didst thou Toney?

Ant.

No; but I heard an inkling at the Paris Tavern last night of a She-Gallant-that had travelled France and Italy; and that she would—

(Clot.

Battoun thy teeth into thy tongue.)

write table.

Ant.

Plant some of her forraign collections, the fruits of her travels, in this Garden here, to try how they would grow or thrive on English earth.

Nic.

Young Pig was speaking of such a one to me, and that she was a Mumper.

Clot.

What's that a Sister of the Scabberd, brother of the Blade?

Nic.

Come, come; we'l in, we'l in; 'tis one of our fathers buildings; I'le see the Inhabitants. Some money Clot. furnish I say, and quickly.—I vow—

Clot.

You shall, you shall.

Nic.

What shall I?

Clot.

Vow twice before you have it.

Nic.

I vow, and I vow again, I'le coyn thy brains.—

Clot.

Hold, hold, take your powl money; I thought I would have my will; and the word I look-for, I'le coyn thy brains.—

write.

I do not love to give my money for nothing, I have a volume of words here, the worst of 'hem is as good as a blow; and then I save my Crown whole half a dozen times a day, by half a crown a time, there's half in half sav'd by that.

Nic.

Come let's appear civil, till we have our en∣trance, and then as occasion serves—

Knock.

Enter Fran.

Who would you speak withal?

Nic.

Your Mistress, little one.

Fran.

Do you know her Sir?

Nic.

No; but I would know her, that's the busi∣ness: I mean the musical Gentlewoman that was fidling, and so many in the What-doe-call't een now.

Fran.

What-doe-call her Sir, I pray?

Nic.

What-doe-call her; 'tis not come to that yet, prethee let me see and speak with her first.

Fran.

You are dispos'd I think.

Nic.

What should we do here else?

Fra.

You wont thrust in upon a body whether one will or no.

Ant. Nic.

Away you Monkey.

Fra.

O me, What do you mean?

Clot.

O my brave Philoblathici.—

Ex. omnes.

Enter Dorcas, alias Damaris, Madge.

Dam.

What's the matter the Girl cryes out so?

Ma.

I know not: I fear some rude company, some of the wild crew are broke into the house.

Fran.

Within. Whether would you go, you wont rob the house will ye?

Nic.

Will ye be quiet Whiskin?

Ma.

O me 'tis so: Hell's broke loose; this comes of your new fingle-fangle fashion, your prepostrous Italian way forsooth: would I could have kept my old way of pots and pipes, and my Strong-water course for customers: The very first twang of your fiddle guts has broke all, and conjur'd a legion of de∣vils among us.

Enter Nic. Ant. Clot.

Nic.

Nay, there's but a Leash of us. How now? Who have we here? Are these the far travel'd Ladies? O thou party perpale, or rather parboild Bawd.

Mad.

What shall I do? Dam. Out alass; sure they are devils indeed.

Nic.

Art thou travel'd cross the Seas from the Bankside hither, old Countess of Codpiece-row?

Clot.

Party perpale and parboild Bawd.—

Write.

Ant.

And is this the Damsel that has been in France and Italy? Clot. Codpiece-row.

Mad.

Peace ye roaring Scabs: I'le besworn she supt at Paris Tavern last night, and lay not long ago at the Venice by Whitefryers Dock.

Nic.

Prethee what is she Madge?

Mad.

A civil Gentlewoman you see she is.

Nic.

She has none of the best faces: but is she war∣rantable; I have not had a civil night these three moneths.

Madge.

Nor none are like to have here, I assure you.

Nic.

O Madge how I do long thy thing to ding didle ding.

Mad.

O Nick, I am not in the humour, no more is she to be o'the merry pin now; I am sure her case is too lamentable. But if you will all sit down, I'le give you a bottle of wine, and we'l relate her story to you, so you will be civil. Nic. Well for once, I care not if we be.

A Table bottle, light, and Tobacco stales.

Let us set to't then; sit down brother Toney, sit down Gentlewoman, we shall know your name a∣non, I hope it will fall in your story; sit down Clot∣poll.

Clot.

You will call me brother Clotpoll too when I have taken my oath, and paid my entrance into the faternity of the Blade and the Battoun.

Nic.

'Tis like we shall. Now Lady of the Stygian Lake, thou black infernal Madge, begin the dismal story, whilst I begin the bottle.

Mad.

This Gentlewoman whose name is Damyris.

Nic.

Damyris stay. Her nick-name then is Dammy, so we may call her when we grow familiar: and to begin that familiarity, Dammy here's to you.—drink.

Dam.

And what's your nick-name I pray Sir?

Nic.

Nick: only Nick, Madge there knows it.

Dam.

Then I believe your name is Nicholas.

Nic.

I vow-witty. Yes Dammy, and my Sirname is Rookesbill, and so is my Fathers too: and what do you make o'that?

Dam.

Nothing not I Sir: sure this is he.

Nic.

And I would he were nothing, so I had all he has: I must have tother glass to wash him out of my mouth, he furs it worse then Mondongas Tobacco. Here old Madge, and to all the birds that shall won∣der at thy howletship, when thou rid'st in an Ivy-bush, call'd a Cart.

Mad.

Well mad Nick, I'le pledge thee in hope to see as many flutter about the tree, that thou shalt clime backwards.

Nic.

A pox thou wilt be stifled with Offal and Car∣ret leaves before that day.

Dam.

Fie, fie, what talk's this? 'tis he I am consi∣dent.

Mad.

These are our ordinary complements, we wish no harm.

Nic.

No Dammy I vow, not I to any breathing.

Mad.

But your Father Nick.—Is he that Rookes∣bill.—

Nic.

But my Fathet; Pox rot ye, why do ye put me in mind of him again, he sticks i'my throat, now I'le wash him a little further.—Here Brother Toney

Ant.

Gramercy Brother Nick.

Clot.

And to all the brothers that are, and are to be of the Blade and the Battoun.

Nic.

There said you well Clotpoll: Here 'tis—

Drink.

Mad. sets away the Bottle.

Mad.

I would but have asked you whether your Father were that Rookesbill that is call'd the great Builder.

Nic.

Yes marry is it he forsooth; he has built I know not how many houses hereabout, though he goes Dammy as if he were not worth a groat; and all his cloaths I vow are not worth this hilt, except those he wears, and prayes for fair weather in, on my Lord Mayors Day; and you are his Tenant, though perhaps you know it not, and may be mine; therefore use me well: for this house and the rest I hope will be mine, as well as I can hope he is mortal, of which I must confess I have been in some doubt, though now I hope again, he will be the first shall lay his bones i'the new Church, though the Church-yard be too good

for him before 'tis consecrated. So give me the to-the cup, for now he offends my stomack. Here's to thee now Clotpoll.

Clot.

And to all the Sisters of the Scabberd Bro∣ther in Election. Dee hear, Pray talk of his father no more, for the next brings him to the belly-work, and then he'll drink him quite through him.

Mad.

And so we shall have a foul house.

Ant.

No he shall stick there. Now to the story Gentlewoman, 'twas that we sate for.

Nic.

I to the story, I vow I had almost forgot it; and I am the worst at Sack in a morning: Dear Dam∣my to the story.

Dam.

Good Sir my heart's too full to utter't.

Nic.

Troth and my head's too full to hear it: But I'le go out and quarrel with some body to settle my brains, then go down to Mich. Crossewill to put him in mind of our meeting to day; then if you will meet me at the Goat at Dinner, wee'll have it all at large.

Dam.

Will you be there indeed Sir, I would speak with you seriously.

Nic.

Dammy if I be not, may my father out live me.

Ant.

We both here promise you he shall be there by noon.

Clot.

'Lady, 'tis sworn by Blade and by Battoun.

Nic.

This will be the bravest discovery for Mihill, the new Italian Bona Roba Catsoe.

Mad.

Why so sad on the suddain Niece.

Dam.

But do you think hee'll come as he has pro∣mis'd.

Mad.

He never breaks a promise with any of us' though he fail all the honest part o'the world: But I trust you are not taken with the Ruffian, you'll nere get penny by him.

Exeunt Nic. Anth. and Clodp.

Dam.

I prethee peace, I care not.

Enter Rafe.

Ra.

But Mystris, rhere is a Gallant now below, a Gingle boy indeed, that has his pockets full of, crowns that chide for vent. Shall I call him up to you.

Dam.

I will see no man.

Mad.

How's that? I hope you jest.

Dam.

Indeed, I hope you jest.

Mad.

You will not hinder the house, I hope. Marry heigh. This were a humour and 'twould last. Go fetch him up.

Dam.

I'le flie then out at window. Nay, by this steel 'tis true.

Mad.

What's the matter? have I got a mad wo∣man into the house. What do you go about to break me the first day of your coming, before you have han∣sell'd a Couch or a Bedside in't. Were you but now all o'th heigh to set your self out for a signe with your fiddle cum twang, and promise such wonders, for∣sooth, and will not now be seen. Pray what's the Riddle.

Dam.

I'll tell thee all anon. Prithie excuse me. I know thy share of his sins bounty would not come to thus much, take it, I give it thee. And prithee let me be honest till I have a mince to be otherwise, and I'le hinder thee nothing.

M••d.

Well, I'le dismisse the Gallant, and send you, Sirrah, for another wench. I'le have Besse Bufflehead again. This kicksy wincy Giddibrain will spoil all I'le no more Italian tricks.—

Ex. with Rafe

Thus some have by the phrensie of despair Fumously run into the sea to throw Their wretched bodies, but when come near They saw the billows rise, heard Boreas blow,

And horrid death appearing on the Maine, A sudden fear hath sent them back again.

Act. II.

Scaen. I.

Enter Mihill. Taylor. Shoomaker.

Mi.

NAy, but honest Shoomaker; thy honest price.

Sho.

I tell you intruth, Sir, 'tis as good a boot as e∣ver you pull'd on in your life.

Mi.

A little too streight, I doubt. What do you think o' my boots honest Tailor.

Tay.

They do exceeding handsomely, never trust me Sir.

Mi.

Never fear it Tailor, you shall trust me, and please you.

Tay.

You are pleasant Sir.

Mi.

And what do you think of my suite Shooma∣ker? can you say as much for the Tailor as he for you.

Sho.

A very neat suite, Sir, and becomes you ex∣cellent.

Mi.

Honest men both, and hold together; one would little think you were so near neighbours. Well, you, have fitted me both, I must confesse. But how I shall fit you, now there's the point.

Tay.

There's but one way for than and please you.

Sho.

With paying us our money Sit.

Mi.

Still both in a tale, I can not but commend your neighbourhood, I muse my Laundresse stayes,

I sent her three or foure wayes for moneys. But do not you stay for that. I have wayes enough to pay you. I have ploughes a going that you dream not of.

Tay.

No indeed, Sir, we dream of nothing but ready money, sleeping or waking.

Mi.

I shall be rich enough ne're fear't. I have a venter in the new soap businesse man.

Tay.

We are but servants, Sir. And our Ma∣sters themselves have no faith, in flippery pro∣jects.

Sho.

Besides, the women begin to grumble a∣gainst that slippery project shrewdly, and, 'tis feard, will mutinie sho tly.

Mi.

Burlakin, and they may prove more trouble∣some then a commotion of Sailors.

Enter Laundresse.

O welcome, Laundresse, where's the money.

Laun.

Not a penny of money, Sir, can I get. But here's one come to town has brought you enough, and you can have grace to finger it.

Mi.

Who's that I prithee.

Laun.

Your father, your father Sir. I met his man by great chance, who told me his Master meanes to steal upon you presently, and take you as he findes you.

Mi.

Is he come up with his crosse tricks. I hea••d he was to come. And that he meanes to live here altogether. He has had an aime these dozen years to live in town here, but never was fully bent on't un∣til the Proclamation of restraint spurr'd him up. 'Tis such a Crossewill. Well, he is my father, and I am utterly undone if thou help'st me not now at a pinch, at a pinch, dear Laundresse. Go borrow me a Gown,

and some foure or five Law-books? for, I protest, mine are in Duck-lane. Nay, trudge, sweet Laun∣dresse, trudge.—

Ex. Laun.

Honest Tailor and Shoemaker convey your selves away quietly, and I'll pay you to morrow, as I am a Gentleman:

Shoe.

As I am a Shoemaker, and that's a kinde of a Centleman, you know, I'll not stirre till I have my money, I am not an Asse Sir.

Mi.

No body sayes thou art.

Shoe.

I have had too many such tricks put upon me i' my dayes.

Mi.

A trick! as I hope for money it is no trick.

Shoe.

Well Sir, trick or no trick. I must have my money or my boots, and that's plain dealing.

Mi.

A pox o'th' boots, so my legs were out of 'hem. Would they were i'thy throat, spurres and all, you will not out.

Shoe.

No marry will we not.

Tay.

Well-said Shoomaker, I commend thee, thou hast a better heart then I, though my stomack's good.

Enter Laundresse.

Mi.

O well said, my good Laundresse. How am I bound to thee; yet all this wo'not do't Laundresse. Thou must bestir thy stumps a little further, and bor∣row me a couple of Gownes more for these Rascals here that will not away.

Laun.

How! wo'not away? And they were well serv'd, they would be thrust out of doors for saucie companions. Your Masters would not put a Gentle∣man to his trumps thus.

M;.

Nay, svveet Laundresse, restrain thy tongue, and stretch thy feet. A couple of Govvns, good

Laundresse, and forget not caps.

Ex.

If I do novv furnish you like Civil Lavvyers, and you do not keep your countenances; if ever you do but peep in at the Hall-door at Christmas to see the revels, I'le have you set i'th' stocks for this beleeve it.

Sho.

If you do, Sir, I may hap be even vvith you before the year comes about, and set you in our stocks for't.

Tay.

But will you make Lawyers of us.

Mi.

Have you a minde to have your money you unbelieving Rascals.

Shoc.

I see your drift, and hope you'll prove an honest Gentleman.

Mi.

Thou hast some hope, though no faith nor trust in any man.

Shoe.

Alas, Sir, our Masters sit at grear rents, and keep great families.

Mi.

I cry you mercy, they are remov'd into the nevv plantation here, where, they say, are a tribe of Infidel-tradesmen, that have made a Law vvithin your selves to put no trust in Gentlemen. But beare your selves handsomely here you vvere best. I am acquainted vvith a crevv that haunts about your ha∣bitations, vvith whom I will joyne, and so batter your windows one of these nights else.—O welcom, Laundresse, how doest thou toile for me.

Laun.

Your fathers talking, as I am a woman, be∣low.—As thou art a woman below, well-said. Come on with these Gownes, and lets see how yow'll look. If we had time, the Shoomaker should wash his face; but seeing there is no remedy; pull the cap in your eyes, and good enongh. Now Laun∣dresse, set us stooles, and leave us.

Laun.

I hear him coming up.

Ex.

Mi.

Now let him come, we are ready for him. Shoomaker, keep your hand underneath the

book, that the pitch do not discover you.

Sho.

I warrant you, Sir.

Mi.

And Taylor, be sure you have no Needle on your sleeve, nor thread about your neck.

Tay.

I warrant you too for me, Sir.

Mi:

He's enrred.

Enter Croswill, Belt, and stand aside.

Mi.

Remitter, I say, is where a man hath two titles, that is to say, one of an elder, the other of a later. And he cometh to the land by the later title; yet the Law adjudgeth him to be in by the force of the elder title. If the tenant in the taile discontinee the taile, and after he diseaseth his dis∣continue, and so dieth seised, whereby the tenants descend to their issue, as to his Cousin inheritable by force of the taile. In this case the tenants descend, who have right by force of the taile, a Remitter in the taile taken for that in the Law, shall put and ad∣judge him to be in by force of descent. Pox on ye, speak something good or bad, somewhat.

Sho.

The Remitter, you say, is seised i'th' tail.

Mi.

Excellent Shoomaker, I say so, and again, I say, that if the tenant in the taile in feoffe his son, or his Cousin, inheritable by force of the taile, the which sonne or cousin at the time of the feoffment is within age, and after the tenant in the taile dierh, this is a Remitter to the heire in the taile to whom the feoffment is made, now Taylor.

Tay.

Think you so, Sir.

Mi.

Look either Fitzherbert, Perkins, or Dier, and you shall finde it in the second part of Richard Cordelyon. So much for Remitter. Novv I'll put a plain home-spun case, as a man may say, vvhich vve call a moot-case.

Sho.

I pray do Sir.

Cross.

Some father might take joy of such a sonne novv. This takes not me. No, this is not my vvay.

Mi.

The case is this

(aside)

pull up your grounds closer and behang'd, you are a Tailor, and you: a Shoomaker.

Sho.

And you owe us money.

Mi.

I put the case, I do, to you for a suit of clothes.

Tay.

Well.

Mi.

And to you for a paire of boots.

Sho.

True.

Mi.

I have broke my day with you both. Sup∣pose so.

Both.

Very well, we do.

Mi.

You clap a Sergeant o' my back. I put in bail, remove it, and carry it up into the upper Court, with habeas-Corpus; bring it down again into the lower Court with procedendo; then take it from thence, and bring it into the Chancery with a Cer∣tiorari; I; and if you look not to ••t, bring it out of the Chancery again, and thus will I keep you from your money till your suite and your boots be worne out before you recover penny of me.

Sho.

S••ly'd but you shall not, your father shall know all first.

Mi.

S'foot Shoomaker wilt thou be an Asse. I do but put a case, Have you not feen it tried.

Tay.

Yes, very often.

Cross.

Away with books. Away with Law. Away with madnesse. I, God blesse thee, and make thee his servant, and defend thee from Law, I say. Take up these books, sarrah, and carry them presently into Pauls Church-yard dee see, and change them all for Histo∣ries, as pleasant as profitable; Arthur of Britain,

Primalion of Greece, Amadis of Gaul, and such like de see.

Mi.

I hope he do's but jest.

Cross.

And do you heare, Sirrah.

Belt.

I Sir.

Cross.

Get Bells work, and you can, into the bar∣gain.

Belt.

Which Bell, Sir? Adam Bell, with Clim ••'th' Clough, and William of Cloudesley.

Cros.

Adam Bell you Asse? Valiant Bell that kill'd the Dragon.

Belt.

You mean St. George.

Cros.

Sir Jolthead, do I not. I'le teach you to chop logick, vvith me.

Mi.

Sfoot, how shall I answer my borrow'd books? Stay Belt. Pray Sir, do not change my books.

Cros.

Sir, Sir, I will change them and you too: Did I leave thee here to learn fashions and manners, that thou mightst carry thy self like a Gentleman, and dost thou wast thy brains in learning a language that I understand not a word of? ha! I had been as good have brought thee up among the wild Irish.

Mi.

Why alass Sir, Had I not better keep my self within my Chamber, at my Studie, then be rioting a∣broad, wasting both money and time, which is more precious then money? if you did know the inconve∣nience of company, you would rather incourage and commend my retir'd life, then any wayes dehort me from it.

Cros.

Why Sir did not I keep companie think you when I was young? Ha!

Ml.

Yes Sir; but the times are much alter'd, and youth more corrupted now, they did not drink and wench in those dayes, but nay, o 'tis abominable in these.

Cros.

Why this is that I fear'd, the boyes turning

meacock too, after his elder brother, 'twas time to look to him.

Nick. Rookesbill. Ant. Clotp.

Nich.

Why Croswill Mich. What, not up yet and behang'd. Or ha ye a wench a bed wye. Is this keep∣ing your home. Mihil runs to the door and holds it.

Mi.

Sfoot the Rogue Rooksbil and his crew, I fear'd as much.

Nic.

Break open the door, let me come to't.

Mi.

Forbear, or behang'd, you will undo me, my father's here. I'll meet you anon as I am honest.

Nic.

Your father's a Clowterdepouch. Nay, I will come then, what Madamoiselle do you call fa∣ther.

They Enter.

Mi.

You would not believe me. Pray be civil.

Ant.

'Tis so, we will Cry mercy, you are busie, we will not moote to day then?

Mi.

I hope you may excuse me, I'le be w'ye a∣non.

Nic.

Come to the Goat Capricorne. We have the bravest new discovery.

Ex.

Cros.

How now! what are these?

Mi.

They are Gentlemen of my standing, Sir, that have a little over-studied themselves, and are some∣what—.

Cros.

Mad; are they not? And so will you be shortly, if you follow these courses. Mooting do they call it? you shall moote nor mute here no long∣er. Therefore on with your cloak and sword, follow me to the Tavern and leave me such long-tail'd com∣pany as these are, for I do not like them.

Mi.

No more do I, Sir, if I knew how to be rid of 'hem.

Cros.

I think thou hast ne're a sword, hast thou, ha?

Mi.

Yes Sir.

Cros.

Where is it, Sir, let me se't Sir.

Mi.

'Tis here, under mybed, Sir.—Reach it.

Cros.

Why there's a Lawyers trick right, make his weapon companion with his Pisse-pot. Fie, fie, here's a tool indeed. There's money, Sir, buy you a good one, one with the Mathematical hilt as they terme it.

Mi.

It would do better in Mathematical books▪ Sir, offer me no money, pray Sir, but for books.

Cros.

Go to, you are a peevish Jack, do not pro∣voke me: do not you owe me obedience? ha!

Mi.

Yes Sir, I acknowledge it.

Cros.

'Tis good you do. Well, take that money; and put your selfe into cloathes befitting your rank, Do so. And let me see you, squirting about without a weapon, like an Attorneys Clerk in Tearm-time, and I'l weapon you, What, shall I have a Noddie of you. This frets him to the liver. Go to, never hang the head for the matter. For I tell thee I will have it so, and herein be knowen what I am.

[Aside

Mi.

You are known sufficiently for your crosse humour already; in which I'll try you if I can make you double this money, for this will not serve my turne.

Cros.

What have you told it after me, you had best weigh it too.

Mi.

No Sir, but I have computed that for my pre¦sent use, here is too much by halfe, pray Sir, take halfe back.

Cros.

Bodie o' me, what a perverse knave is this, to crosse me thus! Is there too much, say you? ha••

Mi.

Yes truly, sir.

Cros.

Let me see't. Go thy wayes, take thy mu∣sty books, and rhy rustie whittle here again. And take your foolish plodding dunci-coxcomely course, till I look after you again. Come away sirrah.

Ex. with Belt.

Mi.

Sfoot, who's the Gull now? Taylor, Shoo∣maker, you may go pawn your Gownes for any mo∣ney I am like to have.

Shoo.

We have all played the Lavvyers to pret∣ty purpose, in pleading all this while for nothing. Well sir, to avoid further trouble, I am content to withdravv my action, that is, pull off your boots a∣gain, and be jogging.

Tayl.

And for my part, sir, I can do no lesse then take you by default and non-suit you.

Enter Belt.

Mi.

Very good Lavvyers both, Is my father quite gone Belt?

Belt.

Gone in a tempest of high displeasure, sir: And has sent you here all the money he had about him; and bids you refuse it if you dare, 'tis above tvvice the summe he offered you before; but good sir, do not refuse it. He svvears he vvill try vvhe∣ther you or he shall have his vvill. Take heed you crosse him not too much.

Mi.

Well at thy request, because thou shalt not have anger for carrying it back again, I vvill accept.

Belt.

I thank you Sir. Consider, he's your fa∣ther, sir.

Mi.

I do most Reverend Belt. and vvould be loth to crosse him, although I may as much in taking his money as refusing it, for ought I knovv, for thou knovv'st 'tis his custome to crosse me, and the rest

of his children in all we do, to try and urge his obe∣dience; 'tis an odde way: therefore to help my self I seem to covet the things that I hate, and he pulls them from me; and makes shew of loathing the things I covet, and he hurles them doubly at me, as now in this money.

Belt.

Are you so crafty?

Mi.

Yes, but do thou put it in his head, and I'le pick out thy braines.

Belt.

You never knew an old Serving-man treache∣rous to his young Master: what? to the hopes o'th' house; you will be heire, that's questionlesse: for to your comfort, your elder brother growes every day more fool then the other. But now the rest of the message is, that you make haste, and come to my Master to the Goat in Covent-Garden, where he dines with his new Landlord to day.

Mi.

He has taken a house then.

Belt.

O, a most delicate one, vvith a curious Belconee and all belonging to't most stately.

Mi.

At the Goat does he dine, sayest thou.

Belt.

Yes sir.

Mi.

My crevv are gone thither too. Pray Mars vve fall not foule of one another. Well, go thy vvay, present my duty to him, I'le follovv presentlie. Tell him I took his money vvith much unvvilling∣nesse.

Belt.

As Lavvyers do their fees. Let me alone sir.

Ex.

Mi.

Well Tailor and Shoomaker; you have put me to't, but here's your money.

Shoo.

'Twas for that we did put you to't Sir.

Mi.

Let's see your biil Tailor

Tai.

Here 'tis, sir, as ready as a Watchmans.

Mi.

Then good vvords vvill passe it, 7 li. 4. sh. tell your money; yours is 14 sh. boots and Galloshes.

There 'tis and 12. d. to drink.

Shoo.

I thank your vvorship.

Mi.

Are you right Tailor.

Tai.

Yes and please you Sir.

Mi.

There's a shilling for you too, to spend in bread.

Shoo.

He knows both our diets. We'll make bold to take leave of your worship.

Mi.

Not so bold as I'm glad I'm too well rid of you, most courteous Gentlemen.

Ex. Ta. Sh.

To see what money can do; that can change mens manners, alter their conditions: how tempestuous the slaves were without it. O thou powerful metal! what authority is in thee! Thou art the Key to all mens mouthes. With thee a man may lock up the jawes of an informer, and without thee he cannot the lips of a Lawyer.

Ex.

Scoen. II.

Enter Crossewill, Rookesbill, Gabriel, Kathe∣rine, Lucy.

Cros.

Down boy, and bid the Cook hasten din∣ner.

Dra.

What will you please to drink in the mean time, sir.

Cros.

I will not drink in the mean time, sir, Get you gone.

Dra.

A fine old humorous Gentleman.

Cros.

Hold up your head, Sirrah, and leave your precise folly. I'll leave you to the wilde world else, dee see. Is the name of a Tavern so odious to you? Ha. Your brother has vext me sufficiently alreadie, and perhaps he'll refuse to come too! If he dares let him. Welcome Mr. Rooksbil, welcom Landlord, and your faire daughter, welcome pretty one. Trust

me a pretty one indeed, pray be acquainted with my daughter there. In your Maiden-company, I hope she will not think the Tavern such a bugs neast as she did. I had much ado to draw my rebellious chil∣dren to the Tavern after me.

Rook.

And truly, sir, 'tis the first to my knowledge that e're my daughter came into.

Cros.

All in good time, she may encrease in ver∣tue. But if it be a fault, (as i' my conscience in his thought it is a great transgression) my unsetlednesse, and unprovidednesse else, where or how to entertain a friend, or feed my selfe, may well excuse us all, dee see.

Rook.

O Sir, I cannot enough admire that vertue in your sonne.

Cros.

It is a vice, as much a vice or more, as is your sonnes, your cast-aways as you call him, that sucks no other ai••e, then that of Tavernes, Tap∣houses, Brothels, and such like. I would their ex∣tream qualities could meet each other at half-way, and so mingle their superfluities of humour unto a mean betwixt 'hem. It might render them both al∣lowable subjects, where now the one's a firedrake in the aire, and t'other a mandrake in the earth, both mis∣chievous, see how he stands like a mole-catcher. What dirty dogged humour vvas I in vvhen I got him troe?

Rookes.

Hovve're his carriage seems distasteful un∣to you, I could afford (vvith your allovvance, to make conditions of estate agreeable) to give all that is mine to him vvith my daughter.

[Aside

Cros.

What a mechanick slave is this, to thank a sonne of mine, hovve're I under-rate him, a fit mate to mingle blood vvith his moore-ditch breed. True, his estate is great, I understand it, but of all foule I love not Moor-hens. Such another motion

vvould stir me to roare him dovvn the tavern∣stairs.

Rooks.

What do you think on't sirs.

Cros.

Heaven grant me patience.

Rooks.

Will you consider of it Master Crosse∣will.

Cros.

I was never so put to't. I wish we had a stickler. I muse that Master Cockbrayne stayes thus.

Rooks.

You do not mind my motion sir.

Cros.

Uds precious I minde nothing, I am so crost in mind thar I can minde nothing, nor I will minde nothing, dee see. Why comes not Mr. Cockbrayue, Ha!

Rooks.

Yet you minde him it seems. But he, sir, cannot come, and desires you to hold him excus'd. He's gone about some special undertaking, for the good of the Common-wealth, he sayes.

Cros.

Fart for his undertaking; all the world is bent to crosse me. What is my young Master come? ha!

Enter Belt.

Belt.

My young Master Mr. Mihil will be here presently, he said he would follow me at heeles, sir.

Cros.

And why not come before you, sir. Does he not think that I have waited long enough, sir? sure I'll crosse some body under that knaves pate of yours, d'y'fee.

Belt.

Thus when any body angers him, I am sure to hear on't.

Cros.

So now my spleen is a little palliated, let me speak with you Mr. Rooksbill. Get you down, Sir∣rah; and bring me word, dinner is not ready, and I'll give you as much more, d'ye see.

Belt.

That's his way to his stomach.

Kat.

And is your brother that your father sayes is so ungracious, so well acquainted with my brother Mihil, say you.

Luc.

Oh all in all, he's not so familiar with any man, if Mihil Croswill be your brother, as 'tis mani∣fest.

Kat.

I would not that my father knew it, for all I can expect from him but his blessing, but does your father know it?

Luc.

No, I would not he should mistrust it for all he has, blessing and all; and now that I have found you love your brother fo well, I will make over my reason and my counsel in trust with you, hoping you will not wrong that trust.

Kat.

If I do, may the due price of treachery be my reward.

Luc.

I love your brother, Lady, and he loves me. The only good act that ever my brother did, was to bring us acquainted, and is indeed all that he has to live on. For I do succour him with many a stolne peece for the felicitie he brought me in your brothers love. Now, my father, whose irreconcileable hate has for e∣ver discarded my brother, should he but dream of their acquaintance, would poison all my hopes.

Kat.

But let me ask you, is there an hope betwixt you and my brother ever to come together?

Luc.

Yes, and a way he has for••t, which I under∣stand not yet.

Kat.

Trust me, I pity you both, your case is very dangerous.

Luc.

Love's above all adventures, the more hard the atchievement is, the sweeter the reward.

Kat.

I like her spirit well.

Cros.

You Sir, come hither, what is hammering in your head now?

Is't not some Synodical question to put unto the brethren, concerning Whitsonales and Maygames? ha!

Gab.

Surely sir, I was premeditating a fit thanks∣giving to be rendred before meat in. Tavernes, accord∣ing to the present occasion which the time and place ad∣ministreth, and that as the spirit shall enable me, shall be delivered before you in due season.

Cros.

I am glad I know your minde; for that trick, my zealous sonne, you shall come in at half-dinner, like a Chafing-dish of coales, when the sawce is cold, to make use of the heat of your spirit; d ye see. I love not meat twice drest.

Rook.

Good sir, put the Proposition to him, that I made my affection to him, urges it more and more, I never was so taken with a man.

Cros.

But what's that to your daughter? ha!

Rook.

The same affection governes her, she is not mine else.

Cros

Well, hold your peace, and was that your spi∣ritual meditation?

Gab.

Yes, verily.

Cros.

Come Sir, at this Gentlemans request I will now put a question to you concerning the flesh. What, think you of yond Virgin there his daughter? can you affect her so well as to wish her to be your wedded wife?

Gab.

You mean, elpoused in holy Matrimony.

Cros.

Yes, I mean so.

Gab.

hum hum hum Psalm tune. How happy.

Cros.

But do thou say, yes verily to that, and as I hope to have peace in my grave. I'll break the Kings peace on thy pate presently.

Gab.

It is a weighty question, and requires due pre∣meditation in a religious answer, pray give me leave to take advice—

Rook.

What sayes he, Sir?

Cros.

He sayes he will talk with a cunning man a∣bout her.

Rook.

Sure you mistake him, sir.

Vint.

You are welcome, Gentlemen. Will. Harry, Zachary.

Goat names.

Gab.

Zachary is a good name.

Vint.

Where are you? he (rings the bell) shew up into the Phoenix. Is the Checque empty?

Cross.

Hoyday, here's a din.

Draw.

A pottle of Canarie to the Dolphin, score.

Vint.

Y' are welcome, Gentlemen, take up the lil∣lie-pot.

[Knock

Draw.

Half a dozen of clean pipes and a candle for the Elcphant. They take their own Tobaccho.

Pots flie clink.

Vint,

Whose room do they foul Sirrah, Harry, Harry?

(Bell)

Gab.

Do Elephants take Tobaccho?

Vint.

Carry up a Jordan for the Maidenhead, and a quart of white muskadine for the blew Bore.

Run down the staires.

Cros.

Now me thinks, the muskadine for tht Maidenhead, and the Jordan for the Bore were better.

Fiddlers be∣low tuning.

Knock aboue, and a pot thrown. Why boyes, draw∣er, rogues, take up, (below) By and by, by and by, (above) Wine, Tobaccho.

Cros.

What variety of noises is here? and all excel∣lent ill sounds. (Above) Call up the Fidlers, Sirrah.

Gab.

Such cries as these went forth before the deso∣lation of the great City.

[Fidling rude tunes.

O prophane tinkling the cymbals of Satan; that tickle the care with vanity, to lift up the mind to lewd∣nesse. Mine eares shall be that of the Adder against the Song of the Serpent.

Rook.

O rare, in a young man!

Gab.

I will roare out aloud to drown your Incan∣tations. Yea, I will set out a throat even as the beast that belloweth.

Rook.

Most happy youth!

Cros.

Hold your peace, Sirrah, or I'le make you bel∣low for something.

Enter Mihil, Nick.

Mi.

Sfoot-back, Nick to your own room. Thy father's here too, as I breath.

Nick.

I vow?

Ex.

Mi.

My Lucie too, as I live. How the devil got they acquainted? Sure he's his Landlord 'Tis so.

Cros.

Dare you come, sir, you should have stayed now till you had been sent for.

Mi.

Verily, sir.

Cros.

Are you at your Verilies too? ha!

Mi.

But for di••pleasing you, I had rather have graz'd on Littletons Commons, or ha' fasted this fourt∣night, then come for my repast into this Wildernesse; but you will ha' it so

Cros.

You are in the right Sir, I'le have it so in∣deed, I'le know why I shall not else. What do you know no bodie here?

Mi.

I crie them mercie, my good brother,—and my loving sister.

Rook.

But what vertuous men has this man to his sons, and how they thrive in grace against his will, it seems.

Mi.

What Gentlewoman is this of your acquaint∣ance, Sister?

Luc.

'Tis well dissembled brother, but I know your cunning.

Mi.

Have you betray'd me?

Luc.

Mum Mr. Mihil, mum.

Vint.

Harry, Harry.

Enter Drawer hastily.

Draw.

By and by.

Draw.

What devil art thou that roarest in mine eare so.

[Beats the Drawer.

Draw.

Hold, I beseech you, I come to wait upon you.

Cros.

What, with a By and by, that strikes into my head as sharp as a Stellatto.

Draw.

I come to tell you, sir, that your table's co∣vered in a fairer Room, and more private, your meat is ready to go up, and all in a readinesse.

Cros.

Now thou art an honest fellow, there's a couple of shillings for thee. Have us out of thy windmil here, I prithee, and thy By and by's.

Exeunt omnes.

Act. III

Scoen 1.

Enter Captain Driblow, Clotpoll, Nick, Anthony, Drawer, A Table, Pot and Glasses.

GO Sirrah, make your reckoning for our din∣ner. Leave us this wine, and come when we call you. We have businesse.

Draw.

I shall, sir, by and by.

Capt.

Well, sir, you will be of both you say, the Blade and the Battoon?

Clot.

Of both, sir, by all meanes, both Philoblathi∣cus and Philobatticus, I. I'le now have all that be∣longs to your order, or all my money again, that's for a certain.

Capt.

Your money again? loe you there. You bring me a fit man, Gentlemen to be sworn, do you not? that talks of money again, when 'tis a main Article in the Oath, never to look for money again, once disfinger'd.

Nick.

You will not spoil all now 'tis come so far? will you?

Clot.

Well sir, when I have my Oath, and that I am sworn one of you. I'le do as you do, and care as little for money as he that has least.

Capt.

Well, to the Oath then, for both the Bsade and the Battoon you say?

Clot.

I by all meanes, Captain, for both. S'lid the Battoon may stick to me, when the Blade may flie out o'th' Hilts.

Ant.

Yes, to the Brokers.

Capt.

Lay your hands on these Hilts, sir. The Ar∣ticles that you depose unto are these, To be true and faithful unto the whole Fraternity of the Blade and the Battoon, and to every member thereof.

Clot.

As ever faithful member was.

Capt.

That at no time, wittingly or ignorantly, drunk or sober, you reveal or make discovery of the Brother, or a member of the Brotherhood, of his lodg∣ing, haunts, or by-walks, to any Creditor, Officer, Sut∣ler, or such like dangerous or suspitious person.

Clot.

I defie them all.

Capt.

That if any of the Brotherhood be in re∣straint or distresse by imprisonment, sicknesse, or whatsoever engagement, you make his case your own, and your purse and your travel his; and that if a bro∣ther die or finish his dayes, by end timely or untimelie, by Surfet, Sword, or Law. You wear the sable order of the Riband in remembrance of him.

Clot.

A convenient cheap way of mourning.

Capt.

That your purse and weapon to the utmost

of your strength, be on all occasions drawn to the as∣sistance or defence of a Brother or Brothers friend, be it he, be it she.

Clot.

I understand you, and shall be as forward to fight for a She-friend, as ever the best man in the mir∣rour of Knighthood was for an honest woman.

Capt.

That you be ever at deadly defiance with all such people, as Protections are directed to in Parlia∣ment, and that you watch all occasions to prevent or rescue Gentlemen from the gripes of the Law brissons. That you may thereby endear your selfe into noble society, and drink the juice of the Varlets labours for your officious intrusions.

Clot.

And that will go down bravely.

Capt.

You must rank your self so much the better man, by how much the more drink you are able to purchase at others costs.

Clot.

Excellent.

Cupt.

You are to let no man take wall of you, but such as you suppose will either beat you or lend you money.

Clot.

Better and better still.

Capt.

The rest of your duties for brevity sake you shall finde specified in that copy of your Order. Kiss the book.

Clot.

I'le swear to them whatsoever they be.

So, now I am a Blade, and of a better Rowe then those of Tytere tu, or Oatmeal hoe, and so an health to our Fraternity, and in chief to our Noble Captain Driblow.

[Drinks.

Nick. Ant.

Agreed, Agreed.

Capt.

Now are you to practise or exercise your qua∣lity on the next you meet that is not of the Brother∣hood.

Enter Mihil.

Clot.

Are you one of the Brotherhood sir, of the Philoblathici.

Mi.

I had else lost much sir, I have paid all dues be∣longing to it.

Clot.

So have I as I hope to gain honour by't 40 li. thick at least; yet I have this left, please you command the half sir.

Mi.

Another time, your reckoning is not yet paid perhaps.

[Clot. puts his money in his pocket.

Clot.

'Tis the first money of mine that was refus'd since my coming to Town. I shall save infinitely.

I see now that I am sworn. How would I swear to get by it.

Capt.

Take heed of that, Come hither son.

Mi.

How have you screwed this youth up into this humour, that was such a dry miserable Clown but two dayes since.

Nick.

The old way, by watching of him, and keep∣ing him high-flown a mattet of fourty eight houres to∣gether.

Ant.

Men are apt to beleeve strange fancies in their liquour, and to entertain new opinions.

Mi.

I have fastned three or foure cups upon my precise brother. I would 'twere as many pottles, so it would convert him into the right way of good fel∣lowship.

Nick.

I vvould vve could see him, to try vvhat good vve could do upon him.

Ant.

Perhaps vve might convert him.

Mi.

He's above still vvith the old men. I stole from him, but to see if your Italick Mystresse vvere come yet. Your Madam.

Nick.

No, she comes anon; but is my affliction a∣bove still.

Mi.

Thy father? yes

Nick.

Ptithee do not call him my father less he took better courses.

Mi.

And so is thy Sister; the little Rogue looks so squeamishly on me, and I on her, as we had never seen before; but the foolish Ape out of a present affecti∣on she has taken to my Sister, has discovered to her the whole discourse of our love, and my familiarity with thee, which were enough to spoile all, if it were discovered to the old folkes, befote my cards were play'd.

Nick.

Well, remember Mr. Mihil, you have pro∣mised me half, if the old dogged fellow give her all, and you marry her.

Mi.

Thou canst not doubt me.

Nick

You know I can spoile all when I list, but to shew my countenance in your cause.

Mi.

Such is your vertue, Sir. Well, I'le up to 'em again before I be mist; and when they part, I am for you again.

Ex.

Capt.

I have given you all the rudimenrs, and my most fatherly advices withal.

Clot.

And the last is that I should not swear, how make you that good? I thought now I was sworne into this Brotherhood, I might have sworne what, and as much as I would.

Capt.

That's most unnecessary, for look you son, the best, and even the leudest of my sons do forbear it, not out of conscience, but for very good ends; and in stead of an Oath furnish the mouth with some af∣fected Protestation. As I am honest, it is so. I am no honest man if it be not. Ud take me, if I lie to you. Nev'rgo, nev'rstirre, l vow, and such like.

Clot.

Or never credit me or let me never be trusted.

Capt.

O take heed of that, that may be spoken in so ill an houre, that you may run out of reputati∣on, and never be trusted indeed; the other will gaine you credit, and bring you into good and civil estimati∣on with your Hostesses; and make 'em terme you a faire conditioned Gentleman if he had it; and truly I never heard worse word come out of his mouth.

Clot.

Nev'r-go, nev'r-stir, I vow. l'le have, I vow then.

Ant.

I vow, but you shall not, that's mine.

Clot

Cann't you lend it me now and then brother? I'le have, I swear then, and come as nigh swearing as I can.

Nick.

I swear but you must not, that's mine you know.

Clot.

I protest then, I'le have I protest, that's a Ci∣ty-word, and best to cozen with.

Clot.

Come boyes, fall to some practice, Let me see about at the new French balls, sprung out of the old English vapours

Clot.

I protest come on. I'le make a third man.

Ant.

Whose man are you?

Nick.

Whose man is not to be asked, nor scarce whose subject, now he is of our Brotherhood.

Clot.

Yes, by your favour he may ask.

Ant.

I ask no favour, sir.

Nick.

That may be granted.

Clot.

You can grant nothing in this kinde.

Ant.

I vow he may grant any thing of any kinde.

Nick.

I swear, I neither can, nor will grant that.

Clot.

That, I protest, may bear exception in∣deed.

Ant.

Exceptions amongst us? nay, then I vow.—

Nick.

I swear.

Clot.

And I protest—

[Up with their Battoons

Capt.

Part faire my boyes; 'tis very well per∣form'd; now drink a round to qualifie this bout.

Enter Cockbrain.

All.

Agreed on all parts.

Cock.

Look upon me ye Common-wealths men now, like a State-Surgeon, while I search and try

The ulcerous coare of foule enormitie. These are a parcel of those venomous weeds, That ranklie pester this faire Garden-plot. Whose boisterous growth is such, that I must use More policie then strength to reach their root, And hoist them up at once. This is my way to get within 'em.

Ant.

So, 'tis gone round.

Nick.

I muse these Mumpers come not.

Clot.

Best send a boy.

Nick.

Drawer, ha! where be those Rascalls? (Within) By and by.

Nick.

Are you one of 'em, sir?

Cock.

I am one that has the favour of the house, sir?

Nick.

To intrude into Gentlemens privacies? ha!

Cock.

To seek a poor living and 't please you, by picking up the crums of your liberalitie, for the use of my rare qualities.

Nick.

And what's your qualitie?

Cock.

It is to speak or sing ex tempore upon any Theame, that your fancie or the present occasion shall administer.

Nick.

Can you drink before you lay your lips to't

[Glasse in's face.

Cock.

O my weak eye-sight.

Clot.

Or can you eate a crust without chawing, made of the Flower of Battoon.

Cock.

O good Gentlemen, forbear, I beseech you.

Clot.

The flower of Battoon. I protest a good jest, and 'twas mine own before I was aware, for he had the Maidenhead or first-blow of my Battoon. Nay, it shall down.

Cock.

I will not yet desist; but suffer private affli∣ction with a Romane resolution for the publike wel∣fare, with full assurance that my fortitude shall at last get within 'em.

Nick.

You are not satisfied, i•• seems, you Rascal, get you gone.

[Kicks him.

Ant.

Phew! beat not the poor fellow so.

Clot.

Let me come to him again, and flesh my self upon him. I will not only flesh my self, but tire up∣on him.

Cock.

Enough, enough, good Gentlemen, you have beaten me enough of conscience. Was ever good Pa∣triot so rudely handled? but the end crowns all.

Capt.

Forbear him sons. What canst thou be, that canst not be satisfied with beating? speak, art a man or a Ghost?

Cock.

I have been, Sir, a man, and of my hands, howe're misfortune humbles me under your man∣hoods. But I have seen the face of warre, and serv'd in the Low-countreys, though I say't, on both sides.

Clot.

Then 'tis impossible this fellow can be beat out of countenance.

Mick.

We'll leave him in his qualiry for that con∣stant vertue.

Capt.

Sure, 'tis Fenner or his Ghost. He was a ri∣ming souldier. Look, do his eyes stand right?

Cock.

They had a dish e'ne now, sir.

Nick.

Of sack, 'tis true here, take another, and wash the inside of your Throat. And let us hear your pipes in their right tune.

Cock.

Give me a Theam Gentlemen.

Nick.

The praise of sack. Sing the praise of sack.

Ant.

Let it be of the Blade.

Clot.

And the Battoon, I beseech you.

Draw.

Do you call, Gentlemen?

Nick.

I vow, I will have sack.

Draw.

T'other quart of Canarie? you shall.

[Takes pot.

Nick.

Are your eares so quick? I vow, I'le dull 'em.

Draw.

Anon, anon.

Nick.

I say, a song of Sack.

Capt.

I, let it be of Sack.

Nick.

Now you pump, do you?

Cock.

No, sir, but think of a tune.

Clot.

If he can pump us up a spring of Sack, we'll keep him, and break half the Vintners in Town.

(Song. Now B. and Clot. askes Gabriel, Are you a b••other. They fall in the burthen.)

Nick.

I vow, well-said.

Ant.

I swear, 'twas well.

Clot.

I protest the best that I have heard in this kind. I wonder at his ability. I prithee, art not ac∣quainted with my two Poetical Drury-lane Writers? the Cobler and the Tapster.

Cock.

No sir, not I, I work not their way. What I do is ex tempore after the Theme given.

Cock.

But they run quite before you. Their Works are in print sometimes▪ and ready to be sung about streets, of men that are hang'd before they come to the Gallowes.

Ant.

But did not Mihil say he would come again.

Nick.

I marvel at his stay.

Clot.

I, and the Mumpers, when come they? I long to see the Sisters, now I am a brother sworn and entred.

Enter Pig.

Nick.

O here comes news. How now pig?

Pig.

You must all presentlie to the Paris Tavern.

Nick.

Must? at whose suit!

Pig.

Mr. Mihil bade me tell you so.

Ant.

Is he gone from hence?

Pig.

He is, and all his gone and dispersed.

Nick.

Then the old Jew my father's gone.

Pig.

Only there's one delicate demure Gentleman with Mr. Mihil. travell'd along with him towards Pa∣ris. I believe he meanes to make a mouth of him.

Nick.

O, 'tis his precise brother. But vvhere's thy Mystresse, and Madama Damaris? that they come not.

Pig.

They desire to meet you there too, 'tis more private.

Ant.

Avvay vve'll follovv thee.

Clot.

Pig, hovv does thy father Hog, the Turkie Merchant?

Pig.

I am in haste, Sir.

Ex.

Ant.

Why Turkie Merchant?

Pig.

Because he trades in nothing but Turkie commodities; Egges and Concubines; 'tvvere vvell to geld him, and send him to the Grand Seignior, to vvait in his Seraglio.

Enter Dravver.

Nick.

Thou hast such a vvit in this Clotpoll of thine. The Reckoning Drawer.

Draw.

Here, here, Sir; here's your bill.

Capt.

Let see the summe. What is't Drawer? 40. sh. and 3. d. Si, your dinner, and what you had since, in all, sir.

Capt,

'Tis very reasonable, Commend me to thy Master. Son Clotpoll pay't. It is your duty.

Clot.

Yes, for my Brothership.

Capt.

Boyes, I must leave you.

Cock.

40. sh. for foure mens dinners, note that, yet he sayes 'tis reasonable.

Draw.

Good Captain, He was ever the fairest Reckoner, though he has never the luck to pay any thing.

Ant.

Fare you well, father.

Nick.

When we have further occasion, we'll re∣pair to your lodging.

Clot.

At Bloomesbury. Father, I know.

Cock.

Bloomsbury? good, I note it.

Capt.

Sirrah, look to the second Article of your Oath.

Clot.

Against discovery of lodgings, haunts, or by-walks, I am warn'd.

Capt.

Look that you be so.

Ex. Capt.

Nick.

40. sh. and 3. d. you'l bate the 3. d. will you not?

Draw.

We'll not much stand for that Sir, though our Master sits at deare rent.

Nick.

Give me your two peeces.

Ant.

Pray let me see the bill before you pay it.

Nick.

Well, I can hold it then.

Ant.

Bread and beer, 1. sh. 4. d. I do not think we four could eat 3. d. of bread, and for my part, I drank but two glasses of beer.

Nick.

And I but one, Ivow.

Clot.

And my father and I but one betwixt us, I protest.

Draw.

Ha' you no men below?

Nick.

Below the earth doest mean? I am sure we have none above-ground.

Draw.

I know not, Gentlemen, there's so much reckon'd at the bar, and you please you may see it.

Ant.

Nay, an't be at the bar, it stands for Law. Well, wine 5 sh. 9. d. I think we had no lesse. A Shoulder of Mutton stuff't with Oysters 8. sh. that cost your Master very near ten groats, a brace of Par∣tridge 5. sh. a couple of Cocks 4. sh. 6. d. a dozen of Larks 20. d. Anchovis 6. sh. I swear but a Sawcer full.

Draw.

I'le be sworne they are so much reckon'd in the Kitch••n.

Ant.

All's law, I tell you, all's law in Tavernes. But I hope there will be a law for you one o'these dayes. Then is their Fruit and Cheese, Tobaccho, Fire, and I know not what, is't right cast.

Cock.

There is more hope of that young man, then of all the rest, indeed it is a sore abuse, another verie weed in the city. I do note that also.

Nick.

Sirrah, before you have your money, fetch me a glasse of Beere. But canst thou sing this upon a∣ny subject.

Cock.

Any sir, any, an't be till midnight.

Ex.

Nick.

But you have strange helps to your inventi∣on. I did note the rolling o' th' eye, and rubbing your Brows sometimes.

Clot.

So did I, I protest, and therefore, I tell you what. If he can sing such another Song, and look stedfastly the while upon any thing, and hold his hands behind him. I'le give him half a crown; if not, he shall ha' nothing for tother.

Cock.

Agreed Gentlemen, give me your Theme.

Ant.

You shall give it him.

Nick.

And withal, watch him if he stir hand or eye, especially the eye.

Clot.

I will I protest, and set mine eye against his, that he shall not twink, but I'le perceive it, and lay him o're the pare.

Cock.

Well Sir, your Theme.

Clot.

In praise of the Battoon, and if you misse it you shall be sure on't.

Cock.

You'll help me with the burthen, Gentle∣men.

Nick.

Yes, yes, for the more grace of the Song.

Clot.

Take you no care for that. Set your eyes and begin.

SONG.

To prove the Battoon the most noble to be. Of all other weapons observe his degree, In Field to be Leader of all other Armes, To conquest and honour, through hazard and harms. The Gallant and Peasant, the Lord and the Lowne. Must move by the motion of the Leaders Battoon. O give me the Battoon.

The Pike and the Halbert are subject to it. The Ensigne, the Partizan, all must submit, To advance, or retire, fall back, or come on. As they are directed by the Leaders Battoon. Then it is to the Souldier the greatest Renown, To purchase by service to bear the Battoon. O give me the Battoon.

Clot.

Marry, and take it Sir, why do you stare a∣bout? though you have broke Covenant, I have not.

Cock.

Where be the Gentlemen?

Clot.

Ha! they are not gone, I hope, where be my brothers Drawer.

Enter Drawer.

Draw.

Gone sir, and have sent me to you for the reckoning.

Clot.

I protest you jest, do you not? I gave 'em the full summe, and all the money I had, I protest, I swear, I vow, now they are not here, I may make bold with their words. They have my money, I am sure.

Draw.

If you have no money, pray leave a pawne, sir.

Clot.

Take him there, put him in a cage, and let him sing it out.

Draw.

We know him not, sir.

Clat.

No? he said he had the favour of the house to sing to Gentlemen.

Cock.

I feare I shall be discovered, sir, I can give your worship credit for a peece till you come to your lodging.

Clot.

Protest, thou art generous; nay, I know where to finde'em; and thou shalt go with me to 'em, we will not part now, wee'll shoune 'em. I vow, (the words out) here, I'le leave my sword for t'other peece.

Draw.

Your sword will not serve, sir, I doubt.

Clot.

Take my coat too, a friend and a Battoon is better then a coat and a sword at all times.

Cock.

I am glad my feare is over. And after all my sufferings, if at last Cock braine crow not these roaring Lions down, Let him be balladed about the Town.

Ex. omnes.

Scoen. 2.

Enter Lucie, Katharine, Belt.

Luc.

Let me now bid you welcome to my fathers house, where till your own be fitted, though my father keep too private a family to expresse large entertain∣ment, yet I hope at worst you shall ha' convenient lodging.

Kat.

Indeed, I am glad that my father yielded to your fathers friendly request in it; and the more, in regard he is so hard to be entreated to any thing; but especially for your societies sake, sweet Sister. In∣deed I'le call you Sister alwayes, and I hope you shall be shortly in my brother Mihils right.

Luc.

I have laid open my heart to you, which in∣deed is his, but your father, I feare, will never be wonne.

Kat.

Why you would not have him too, Sister, would you?

Luc.

His consent I would, and my fathers, I hope, would easily be wrought. You saw he was willing your other brother should have me at the first sight, meerly for his reservednesse, and Mihil methought carried himself as civil to day as he; I mean, as ci∣villy for a Gentleman, that should not look like one fathers of the Dutch Church at five and twenty.

Kat.

He was put to't to day. The noise of the Tavern had almost wrought his zeale in••o fury, it is scarce out of my head yet.

Luc.

But you were about to tell me how he first fell into this veine, this vanity indeed.

Kat.

I'le tell you now, and in that something worth your observation.

Luc.

I will observe you.

Kat.

My father has an humour, not to like any thing at first, nor accept best courtesies of friends,

though presently he findes 'em most commodious to him; things that he knows not how to be without, and oftentimes desires with the same breath the things he vilisied, and scorn'd them the last syllable he spake before. You saw when your father offered him the use of his house here, till his own be furnished, he cried, hah •• are all the houses in the Town yours Sir; and yet presently entreated for't, and thanked him.

Luc.

That shews the best nature, they say.

Kat.

But that is seldome attended by the best fortune. Nay, in us, I mean, his children, he will like nothing, no, not those actions which he him∣self cannot deny are vertuous; he will crosse us in all we do, as if there were no other way to shew his power over our obedience.

Luc.

'Tis a strange fatherly care.

Kat.

Now, note the punishment that followes it. There's not a chil••e he has, ••hough we all know what we do, that make any conscience of crossing him, we have so much of his good nature in us.

Luc.

And that's as odde a duty in children.

Kat.

I must confesse it is a stubbornnesse.

Yet for the most part we do nothing, but that which most Parents would allow in their children: and now for my brother Gabriel, with whom I must bring in the story of another Kinswoman of ours, my father had at home with us.

Luc.

So.

Kat.

Nay, mark, I pray you, as I would entreat an Auditorie, if I now were a Poet to mark the Plot, and several points of my play, that they might not say when 'tis done, they understood not this or that, or how such a part came in or went out, because they did not observe the passages.

Luc.

Well on, I pray.

Kat.

My brother Gabriel, when he was a boy, nay,

till within these two yeares, vvas the wildest unta∣med thing that the countrey could possibly hold.

Luc.

So he is still for ought I know, for I think no man of his Religion in his wits.

Kat.

I mean in outvvard conversation, he vvas the Ring-leader of all the youthful Frie, to Faires, to Wakes, to May-games, footbal-matches, any thing that had but noise and tumult in it; then he was Captain of the young train-band, and exercised the youth of tvventy parishes in martial discipline. O he did love to imitate a souldier the best,—and so in every thing, that there vvas not an handsom maid in an whole County could be quiet for him.

Luc.

He may be good at that sport still, for there is almost none of his sect holds any other game lavvful.

Kat.

Yet did he bear the civillest aud the best or∣dered affection to our Kinsvvoman I spake of.

Luc.

Yes, I remember.

Kat.

So loving to her person, so tender of her ho∣nour that nothing but too near affinity of blood could have kept them asunder.

Luc.

And she did love him as vvell!

Kat.

O dearly, vertuously vvell; but my father fearing vvhat youth in heat of blood might do, re∣moves my brother Gabriel from home into the ser∣vice of a Reverend Bishop to follovv good ex∣amples.

Luc.

But he learned not to be a Puritane there I hope.

Kat.

You shall hear, Sister, soon after came a Gal∣lant into the countrey from London here, and as vve after found, a Citizens sonne, though he shevved like a Lord there. Briefly, he grevv acquainted vvith my brother Mihil. Then vvoo'd and vvonne my

Cousin so secretly, my father never suspected, nor he nor I e're knevv vvhose son he vvas, nor of vvhat occupation my old lord his father vvas; but he pro∣mis'd her marriage, clap't her, you may guesse vvhere, and so like the slippery Trojan left her.

Euc.

O divellish Rascal!

Kat.

And foolish creature, she vvho soon repented it, and vvith her shame is fled to vvhat part of the vvorld vve knovv not.

Luc.

In truth 'tis pitiful, that villain vvould be hang'd.

Kat.

Novv upon this, my poor brother that lov'd her so, fell into discontent, forsook his lord, and vvould have left the Land, but that he vvas prevented and brought home.

Luc.

And ever since he has been thus religious.

Kat.

Thus obstinate, for I think verily he does it but to crosse my father, for sending him out of the vvay vvhen the mischief vvas done.

Luc.

I vvill not then beleeve 'tis Religion in any of the gang of 'em, but meer vvilful affectation. But vvhy, or vvherein do you or Mihil. crosse your fa∣ther.

Kat.

I tell you Sister vve must. He is so crosse him∣self, that vve shall never get any thing of him that we desire, but by desiring the contrary.

Luc.

Why then do you desire him to get you an hus∣band?

Kat.

Because he should get me none. O Sister, both he and Mr. Cockbrayne, can vvish novv that I had had his son.

Luc.

There's another youth novv gone on love's pilgrimage, e're since your father crosthim in your love not to be heard of.

Kat.

Hush! the old men.

Enter Rooksbill, Croswill.

Rook.

In good truth sir, I am taken with your con∣versation. I like it now exceeding well.

Cros.

I'm glad it pleases you.

Rook.

'Tis very faire and friendly, I finde we shall accord.

Cros.

I am glad I have it for you Sir, I pray, make bold with it.

Ro••k.

Then pray sir, let me urge my motion a little further to you.

Cros,

What is't? you cannot utter it so easily as I shall grant it, out with it man.

Rook.

That you will be pleased to accept my daugh∣ter for either of your sons, your youngest if you please, now I have seen him, I'le give him with her presently, either in hand a thousand pound, and five hundred pound a childe as fast as he can get 'em. And all I shall die seiz'd of.

Cros.

What a Dogbolt is this to think that I should get a childe for him.

Rook.

I hope you do think well on't.

Luc.

Pray love he does. I hope so too.

Kat.

I mark his Answer.

Luc.

I could finde in my heart to ask his good-will my selfe.

Kat.

And that were a sure way to go without it.

Rook.

How say you, sir, is't a match?

Cros.

I will not stay a minute in thy house, though I lie in the street for••t.

Huswife, I'le sort you with f••tter companions, Come, follow me quickly.

Rook.

H••aven blesse me and my childe too from matching with such a disposition.

Kat.

Truly, sir, I long'd to be out o th' house be∣fore.

Cros.

Before you came in it did you not? ha!

Kat.

These new walls do so stink of the lime me∣thinks.

Cros.

Marry fough, Gooddie Foyst.

Kat.

There can be no healthie dwelling in 'em this twelve-moneth yet.

Cros.

Are you so tender bodied?

Rook.

Even please your selves then where you can like better, and you shall please me.

Cros.

Why you will not thrust me out of your house, will you? ha!

Rook.

There's no such haste, sir.

Cros.

Indeed there is not, nor will I out for all your haste neither. I'le have look to my bargain.

Rook.

With all my heart, sir.

Cros.

But no more of your idle motions, if you love your ease in your house, your ••••n here.

Enter Belt.

Here's a letter, sir, from Mr. Cockbrayne.

Cros.

Is the earer paid, or give him that an't please you.

Belt.

Some body has anger'd him, and I must suffer.

Cros.

I sent you to seek my sons, good sir, have you found 'em? ha!

Belt.

I cannot finde 'em sir. They went out of the Tavern together, they say, and I have been at Mr. Mihils chamber, and there they are not. I went to the Tavern again, and there they were not. ••hen I beat all the rest o'th' bushes, in this four est of foo es and mad men, and cannot finde em I, where e're they be.

Cros.

Sirrah, go finde em me where e're they be, a∣ny where, or no where, finde 'em, and finde 'em

quickly; I'le finde 'em in your Cockscombe else, d' ye see! and bring my sons Sanctity home before it be dark, lest he take up his lodging in a Church-porch; and charge Mr. Mihil that he come not to me till I send for him. Here's danger i'th' house. There was a match-motion indeed.

Rook.

Good sir, either like my house well, or be pleas'd to please your self with some better.

Cross.

Pray Sir, be quiet in your house, lest I send you out of it to seek another. Let me see my cham∣ber.

Rook.

He must have his way, I see.

Ex. omnes.

Act. IV.

Scoen. 1.

Enter Bettie, Frank, with swords drawn make fast the doors.

Bett.

NAy, you perpetual Pusse, I'le fetch him out of the very bowels of thee.

Fran.

He never came so deep himself yet with all that he could do, and I scorne the threatning of a She Marmaset.

Nick.

(Within) why Bettie, Frank, you mankinde Carions you. I vow, open the door, will you both kill one another, and cozen the Hangman of his fees?

Bett.

Thou hadst been better have bit off the dugs of thy Damme, thou pin-buttock Jade thou, than have snapt a bit of mine from me.

Fran.

Here's that shall stay your stomack better then the bit you snarle for. Thou greedy Brach thou.

Nick.

(Within) why wenches, are ye wild? break open the doores.

Bett.

That I could split that divellish tongue of thine!

Fran.

I have as good a spight at as ill a member about thee.

Enter Nick, Anthony.

Nick.

Hold, what's the devil in ye.

Ant.

Are ye so sharp-set ye Amazonian Trulls?

Belt.

Let me but make one passe at her.

Fran.

Pray let me go, and let her come.

Nick.

Can no blunter tooles then these serve to take down your furies?

Bett.

Let me come but within nailes reach of het.

Fran.

Let me but try the strength of my teeth upon her.

Nick.

As Hector 'twixt the hosts of Greece and Troy, When Paris and the Spartane King should end Their nine yeares warres, held up his brazen lance. In signal, that both Armies should surcease, And hear him speak. So let me crave your audience. Dear Bettie be advis'd, and Frank, forbear Thy thirst of Sisters blood. Whilest I rip up The folly of your strife. Your cases both Have been laid open to me. You contend For love of a lewd Citizen, that sleights, Nay more, disdaines, nay more, desies you both. Tony can tell, Mun Clotpoll also knows The words he spake, that you were both poor whores, Not poor alone, but foule infectious harlots. And that he wears your mark with pain and sorrow, Hopelesse to claw them off. With constant purpose Never to see you more, unlesse to greet.

Your bumpin buttocks with revengeful feet.

Bet.

Did he say so?

Fran.

And must we two fall out for such a slander∣ous Villain?

Ant.

No, agree, agree.

Nick.

Busse and be friends. Busse, or I'le baste ye both, I vow.

Bet.

Come Sister we'll be in for ever now.

Fran.

For my part, Sister, sure I was not out with you.

Bet.

But did he say he would kick us?

Ant.

Lo here, the man that dares it not deny.

Enter Citizen, Drawer.

Cit.

But do ye hear, Gentlemen. I hope you will use me kindlier then so.

Nick.

Than how, Sir?

Cit.

Then to win all my money, and leave me at stake for the reckoning. Pray do you pay the Drawer for me, though I pay it you again.

Ant.

What is it Drawer?

Draw.

The Gentlewomen and he had 14. sh. in before you came.

Nick.

'Tis a plain case, your cloak must answer it at the bar, Sir. Drawer, away with it.

Exit Drawtr with Cloke.

Cit.

Nay, but Gentlemen.

Nick.

I vow, do but look after it, till we be gone, and these shall claw thine eyes out.

Cit.

Well sir, I hope this quarter will not be al∣wayes lawlesse.

Ant.

Do you grumble? Mr. C••ffelesse.

Nic.

I vow you shall have cu••••es.

Bet.

Yes, that you shall.

Fran.

Cuts and slashes too before we part, Sir.

Cit.

You will not murder me, will you?

Nick.

Damosels forbear; and you, forbear your noise. I vow, I'le slit your wistle else. You shall give him due correction civilly, and we will make him take it civilly. Sit you down Sir.

Cit.

What will you do with me?

Nick.

I vow, mum.

Enter Clotpoll, Cockbraine,

Clot.

O, are ye here! was it a brotherly trick do ye think, to leave me to pay one reckoning twice? or did I think never to be made a mouth more, after I had paid my swearing dinner, and am I now a greater mouth then e're I was?

Nick.

Mum, hold your tongue still in your mouth, lest I halifax it with your teeth.

Clot.

Halifax my tongue. And listen to a businesse.

Nick.

Do yon know this man?

Clot.

Yes, the City mouth we had tother night.

Nick.

These are the Sisters that his lavish tongue so lewdly did deprave.

Clot.

I cry them heartily mercy Are you of the sweet Sisterhood? I hope to know you all, all the pretty Mumpers in the berrie here, before I have done. 'Tis true, I protest, he spake words of you, that such flesh and blood could not bear. He could not have spoken worse of mutton of a groat a quarter.

Bet.

And were we so fond to fight for him?

Fran.

But now we'll both be revenged upon the flesh of him.

Cit.

Pray let me speak with you.

Nick.

No, they shall beat you first. And mark me well. Do thou but stir an hand or foot, or raise a voice that may be heard to the next room, well cut thy weasand. Now wenches take your course.

Bet.

Nay, you slave, we'll mark you for a Sheep∣biter.

Fran.

We'll teach you how to scandalize.

Bet.

Have I given you that you cannot claw off, you Mungrel.

Clot.

Rare, I protest.

Ciot.

—oh—oh—oh.

Nick.

There, there.

Fran.

We'll claw thine eares off rather.

Cit.

—oh—oh—oh.

Clot.

O brave.

Cock.

O out-rage, most insufferable, all this goes into my black book.

Nick.

To him Bettie, at him Frank; there whores, there.

Ant.

Fie, fie, forbear, enough, too much in con∣science.

Cock.

That young man has some pity yet.

Ant.

I swear you shall no more.

Cock.

Alas, good Gentlemen, it is enough.

Nick.

I vow, do you prate? you shall have as much. Come, take the Chaire, Sir, the breeches shall bait him too.

Cock.

O good Gentlemen.

Nick.

I vow, they shall. To him and claw him, I'le clapperclaw your sides else

Cock.

O me! what mean you?

Bett.

Heyday! his beard comes off.

Ant.

And his head too What rotten scab is this?

Clot.

I protest, they have pulled my pieced brother in pieces here.

Nick.

I vow, some disguiz'd villain, and but for do∣ing the State so good service, we would hang him pre∣sently without examination.

Ant.

I know him. And you shall not touch him. Best is, he knows nor me. Good Heaven, what Brain∣trick has possest him.

Nick.

I vow, what canst thou be?

Ant.

Come, 'tis an honest fellow, that is only a∣sham'd to run so base a course for his living in his own face. Poor man, I warrant his feare threatens his breeches shrewdly. But let's away, and quickly, our stay is dangerous. Come, we forgot Mich. Croswil and the wenches.

Nick.

Come all away then, Sirrah, thank this Gentleman, and pray for him at the end of your Songs hereafter.

Clot.

Farewel, friend Peece. I'le know you better now, before you have't again.

Ex. omnes but Cock. and Cit.

Cock.

What monsters in mankinde? what hell-hounds are they? only as Ovid feign'd among the Getes. A friend at need, I with a friend was blest, Whom I may gratifie, and plague the rest. How is it with you, Sir?

Cit.

O, I am very sore.

Cock.

Indeed you are sorely handled. This may warne you out of such caterwaling company. You look like one more civil. And in hope you will be so, I'le bring you to a Barber.

Cit.

Alas, my Cloke.

Cock.

I'le help you to that too, so you with me, Will in an honest plot Assistant be.

Cit.

O Sir, in any thing, and thank you too, Sir.

Exeunt Ambo.

Scoen. 2.

Enter Mihil, Gabriel, Boy, Wine, &c.

Mih.

A Paris ill ya ben veni- Here's no bush at this door, but good wine rides post upon't, I mean, the sign-post. Boy, get you down, and if Nick Rooksbill, or any of his company ask for me, bring 'em up, d'ye hear.

Boy.

I will, I will, Sir.

Ex.

Mi.

You are welcome to Paris brother Gabriel.

Gab.

It is neverthelesse a Tavern, brother Mihil, and you promised and covenanted with me at the last house of noise and noisomnesse, that you would not lead me to any more Tavernes.

Mih.

Lead you brother? men use to be led from Tavernes sometimes. You saw I did not lead you nor bring you to any that was more a Tavern then the last, nor so much neither; for here is no Bush you saw.

Gab.

'Twas that betrayed and entrapped me: but let us yet forsake it.

Mih.

Pray let us drink first brother. By your leave here's to you.

Gab.

One glasse-full more is the most that I can bear. My head is very full, and laboureth with that I have had already.

Mi.

There Sir, I'le undertake one good fellow, that has but just as much Religion as will serve an honest mans turne, will bear more wine then ten of these gid∣dy-braind Puritanes, their heads are so full of whim∣seys.

Gab.

'Tis mighty headie, mighty headie, and truly I cannot but think that the over much abuse of these out-landish liquors, have bred so many errours in the Romish Church.

Mih.

Indeed brother, there is too much abuse made of such good creatures. Wine in it self is good, you will grant, though the excesse be nought; and Ta∣vernes are not contemptible, so the company be good.

Gab.

It is most true, we finde that holy men have gone to Tavernes, and made good use of 'em upon their Peregrinations.

Mi.

And cannot men be content to take now and

then a cup, and discourse of good things by the way. As thus. Brother, here's a remembrance (if she be li∣ving, and have not lost her honour) to our Cousin Dore as.

Gab.

O that kinswoman of ours. She was the dear∣est losse that e're fell from our house.

Mi.

Pledge her, good brother.

Gab.

I do—

Mi.

I hope 'twill maudlenize him.

Gab.

But have you never seen that miscreant that wrong'd her, since he did that same, they say you knew him.

Mi.

Alas, suppose I had, what could be done? she's lost we see. What good could she receive by any course against him.

Gab.

It had been good to have humbled him, though into the knowledge of his Trans••ression. And of himself for his soules good, either by course of Law, or else in case of necessity, where the Law promiseth no releefe, by your own right hand you might have smote him, smote him with great force, yea, smote him unto the earth, until he had prayed that the evil might be taken from him.

Mih.

This is their way of loving enemies, to bear 'em into goodnesse. Well, brother, I may meet with him again, and then I know what to do. If he knew him as I do now, what a religious combate were here like to be at Nicks coming.

Enter Boy.

Sir, here's a Gentlewoman asks for Mr. Rooks∣bill.

Mih.

The travell'd Gallant, is't not.

Boy.

Yes sir, and the old black party, her Land lady with her. But they ask for no body but him, sir.

Mih.

Say he is here by all meanes, and bring 'em up.

Ex. Boy.

Gab.

Women! pray brother lets avoid the place, let us flie it. What should we do with women in a Ta∣vern?

Mih.

No harme assure your selfe, cannot we go∣vern ourselves?

Enter Dorcas and Madge, and start back.

Nay,

Lady, stay, he will be here presently, that you look for.

Gab.

I will not glance an eye toward tempta∣tion.

Mih.

I am amaz'd sure, I have seen this face, howe're your habit and the course of time may give't another seeming.

Dorc.

Good Angels, help my thoughts and memo∣ry. It is my Kinsman Mihil. What's the other that hides his face, so?

Mih.

Do you turn away?

Dorc.

It is my Cousin Gabriel, strangely altered.

Mih.

Come hither you. I••le make a little bold with you. Thou that hast been a concealer of more sins in womens actions, then thou hast grizled hairs.

Dorc.

Sure I will speak to him, he alwayes lov'd me.

Mih.

Reveale a truth to me on my demand, now instanrly, without premeditation. I'le cut thy tongue out else.

Mad.

What's here to do? do you think I am a devil? that you make such conjurations over me.

Mih.

I think thou art as true a servant of his as any Bawd can be. But he now if thou darest. How long have you known that Gentlewoman? and what do you know by her?

Dorc.

Sir.

Mad.

Here's a stirre about nothing. I know no∣thing by her, not ••. Nor whether she has any thing or nothing, that a woman should have by the re∣port of knowledge of man, woman or beast, not I. She came to me but this morning, with a purpose to set me up in my new house as I hoped. But she has taken a course to make it honestly spoken of already, to my utter undoing, but she never comes within my doors again, as I hope to thrive by my Trade here∣after.

Dorc.

Pray look upon me, sir.

Mih.

Was she so resolutely bent, and so soon al∣tered?

Mad.

Upon the very first fight of the very first man that came into my house, the very first houre of my setting up in it.

Mih.

What man was that?

Mad.

A shame take him, your roaring friend, Nick. I think she is enamoured of him, or of something she guesses he has; and would faine play the honest woman with him, that never played honest man with woman in his life.

Mih.

'Tis she, and 'tis most wonderful.

Dorc.

If you knew who I were, you would not be so strange to me.

Mad.

And here she comes me a hunting after him, like a fondling, whilest halfe a dozen peeces might ha' been gotten at home by this time, aud she have had the halfes of it in her purse by this time; if she would have done, as I thought, she would have done by this time.

Mih.

Alas, poor Howlet.

Mad.

I sent whooping after the best guest that haunt my house, to have taken the first fruits of her conversation, and she would not see a man of 'em, to my undoing.

Mih.

Well leave thy hooting, Madge, and hold thy peace. thou shalt get by it.

Mad.

Yes, I shall get a good name shortly, and this geare hold, and turn begger, I shall.

Dor.

Pray sir, but one word.

Mih.

Speak to her, brother, 'tis our Cousin Dor∣cas.

Gab.

Will you abuse me too? is she not lost?

Mih.

And will not you give her leave to be found again? his wine and her sudden apprehension works on him at once. Cousin, I'le speak to you, though I confesse the miracle of our meeting thus ama∣zes me.

Dorc.

O Cousins both. As ye are Gentlemen, and of that noble stock, whose meer remembrance, when he was given up, and at the brink of desperate folly, stroke that reverend fear into my soul, that hath pre∣serv'd my honour from further falling. Lend me now your aide, to vindicate that honour by that man, that threw me in the way of losse and ruine.

Mih.

All shall be well, good Cousin, you shall have both hands and hearts to re-estate you in him. So that in fact you have not wrong'd that ho∣nour, since he forsook you.

Dorc.

On my soule I have not.

Mih.

Infants then shall be pardoned. Brother speak.

Dorc.

You were wont still to be my loving'st Cou∣sin.

Gab.

What a strange dream has wine wrought in my head.

Mih.

I hope it will work out his superfluous zeale. And render him civil Christian again.

Dor.

It is no dream, good Cousin, you are awake, And I, that Dorcas, for whom you have wish't Affinity of blood might be dispen••'d with. And you

to be my choice. So well you lov'd me.

Gab.

And will above my life affect you still. But you must leave these gauds and prophane dres∣sings.

Mad.

Bawds did he say? how comes he to know me troe?

Dorc.

How came my Cousin Gabriel thus tran∣slated. Out of gay cloathes long haire, and lofty spirit, Stout and brave action, manly carriage; Into so strict a Reformation? Where is the martial humour he was wont so to affect.

Mih.

His purity and your disgrace fell on you both about a time, I faith.

Gab.

Do you swear by your FAITH?

Mi.

He's falling back again.

Boy.

Some more wine. You will drink with our Cousin, brother, will you not?

Boy.

What wine is't, Gentlemen?

Gab.

Yes, in a cup of sincere love.

Boy.

What other wine you please, Gentlemen, we have none such i••th' house.

Mih.

Of the same we had, sir.

Dorc.

Call not for wine for us, Cousin.

Mad.

Assuredly, we are no prophane wine-bibbers, not we.

Gab.

Modest, and well-spoken verily, she should be a Sister or a Matron.

Mih.

Yes, yes, we'll all drink for the good o'th' house.

'Tis upon putting down, they say, and more o'th neighbours. But Cousin, he knew you not to day.

Dor.

No, nor dreams of me.

Mih.

And the old one knowes nothing, does she.

Dorc.

No, by no meanes.

Mih.

She can bewray nothing then. My brother knows not him. I only do for his faire Sisters fake, of which you may hear more hereafter; in the mean, bear your selfe faire and free, as if you knew him not, and I'le work him to your end, never fear it.

Dorc.

You are a noble Spokesman.

[Bawd and Gabriel confer devoutly the while.

Mad.

Truly, you speak most edifyingly.

Enter Boy with Wine.

Mih.

Well-said, give it to my brother. Drink to our Cousin, Brother.

Gab.

I will, and to that vertuous Matron, whose care of her, I hope, tends unto good edification.—Truly the wine is good, and I was something thirsty.

Mad.

Best drink again then, Sir.

Gab.

I will follow your motherly advice.

[Drinks.

Mih.

'Twill work, anon, I hope.

Gab.

And you have travell'd Cousin. I may sup∣pose you brought this well-disposed Gentlewoman from Amsterdam with you. And this unto your wel∣come, hoping I shall be informed by you how the two zealous brethren thrive there? that broke in St. Hellens.

Mad.

Of that or any thing sir, pray drink again, sir.

Mih.

You Jade you, hold your tongue.

Enter Nick, Anthony, Clotpoll, Bettie, Frank.

Nick.

O, are ye here Gallants! I made all the haste I co••••••, but was stayed, I vow, by the bravest sport, baiting of a fellow or two with our Pusse-cats here. I could e'ne sind in my heart to marry 'em both for their valours.

Dorc.

Those words are daggers.

Mih.

I pray dissemble your passion.

Nick.

What? are you acquainted already?

Mich.

Did not I tell thee she was a brave Ma∣dona?

Mih.

How long have you had acquaintance with her, Nick?

Nick.

Never saw her before this morning, I, stand∣ing upon her Belconee.

Gab.

Truly Cousin, I think 'twas you that I saw to day too, standing upon a Bellconee.

Nick.

You spell very modestly, sir. Your brother I take it. But did you call her Cousin, sir.

Gab.

Yes sir, she is my Cousin.

Mih.

'Twill out too soon. Why Nick, thou know∣est these kinde of creatures call and are called Cou∣sins commonly.

Nick.

Yes, in their tribe. But I thought he had been too holy for them. But Dammy—

Gab.

O fearfully prophane!

Nick.

You said you had a storie to relate, of dire misfortune. and of unquoth hearing. I come to hear your story, what stop you your eares at? sir.

Gab.

I dare not speak it but in thy reproof. Thou swearest Gee o Dee, Dee a••m thee, as I take it.

Nick.

I vow thou liest, I call'd her Dammy, be∣cause her name is Damyris,

Gab.

I say thou liest, her name is Dorcas, which was the name of an holy woman.

Nick.

Shall we have things and things? I vow.

[Draw.

Clot.

And I protest.

[Draw.

Mih.

This vvill spoil all. Brother, I pray for∣bear.

Gab.

I may not forbear, I am moved for to smite him; yea, vvith often stripes to smite him; my zeal∣ous wrath is kindled, and he shall flie before me.

Dorc.

Let me entreat you, sir.

Bet. Frank.

What furie's this?

[Mihil holds up Gabriel

Nick.

Great Damboys shrink, and give a little ground.

Ex.

Gab.

I will pursue him in mine indignation.

Dor.

O me!

Gab.

And beat him into Potsheards.

Mad.

Now he has bang'd the Pitcher, he may do any thing.

Mih.

Pray, brother, be perswaded.

Clot.

A brother to be so controuled?

Mih.

You sir, put up your Steel-stick.

Clot.

I desire but to know first, if he be a bro∣ther.

Mih.

Yes marry is he, sir.

Clot.

Sir, I am satisfied. So let him live.

Gab.

Pray give me leave to ask you, do these men take part with the brethren?

Mih.

Yes, and are brothers a little disguiz'd, but for some ends.

Gab.

Some State-occasions.

Mih.

Meer Intelligencers, to collect up such and such observations, for a great Separatist that is now writing a book against playing at Barlibreak, moulding of Cocklebread, and such like prophane exercises.

Gab.

Truly such exercises are prophane exercises, that bear the denomination of good things ordained for mans use, as Barley, Cockles, and Bread are such things to be made sports and play-games? I pray you let me see these brethren again, to make my atone∣ment with them. And are those Sisters too, that were wi••h them?

Mih.

O, most notorious ones, and are as equally disguiz'd to be as rank Spies as the other. S'lid man, and they should be taken for such as they are, they would be cut off presently. They came in this

mad humour to be merry with you for my sake.

Gab.

Pray let 'em come again, I shall not be well until I have rendred satisfaction.

Mih.

You must do as they do then, or they will think you are a Spie upon them.

Gab.

I will be as merry as they, let wine be given unto us.

Mih.

More wine, Boy, and bid 'em all come in.

Ex. Boy.

Dor.

Alas, Cousin, let him drink no more.

Mih.

Fear nothing, Cousin, it shall be for his good and yours, as I will order it.

Enter Nick. Anthonie, Clotpoll, Bettie, Frank, Drawer with wine

Mih.

All welcome, not any repetition, but begin a new

Gab.

I will begin it, two glasses: it shall be a faith∣ful Salutation to all the Brothers and Sisters of—

Clot.

The Blade and the Scabberd.

Nick.

It shall go round.

Ant.

I'le swear you do not well to let him drink so.

Mih.

Well said civil Roarer.

Gab.

Let it go round, go to, you are a wag. I know what you mean by the Blade and the Scabberd.

Clot.

Who could have thought this had been such a brother.

Gab.

Nay, who could have thought you had been of the brethren.

Nick.

Brethren sir, we are the Brothers.

Gab.

Yea, the disguiz'd ones.

Nick.

How? disguiz'd ones?

Mih.

Do not crosse him again. If thou doest, and I do not maul thee. Yes, brother, these are vertu∣ous

men howe're they seeeme.

Nick.

I vow, I have so much vertue as to rebuke thee for lying. But we are brethren, sir, and as fa∣ctious as you, though we differ in the Grounds; for you, sir, defie Orders, and so do we; you of the Church, we of the Civil Magistrate; many of us speak i'th' nose, as you do; you out of humility of spirit, we by the wantonnesse of the flesh; now in de∣votion we go beyond you, for you will not kneel to a ghostly father, and we do to a carnal Mystresse.

Mih.

I'le stop your mouth, you said you came to be merry.

Nick.

Yes, I vow, and brought Fidlers along, but they must play i'th' next room, for here's one breaks all the Fiddles that come in his reach. Come fir, will you drink, dance, and do as we do?

Gab.

I'le drink, I'le dance, I'le kisse, or do any thing, any living thing with any of you that is Bro∣ther or Sister. Sweet-heart let me feel thy Co∣ney.

Mih.

I now he's in. Play Fidlers. Dance. All bravely performed, admirably well done, &c.

Nick.

I vow, thou art a brother after my own heart.

[To Gabriel.

Women.

We cannot commend you enough, sir.

Gab.

This done in civil fort among our selves, I hope, will prove no scandal to a brother.

Nick.

'Twill prove an honour to our faction.

Gab.

I thirst to do it honour.

Clot.

Give him some wine, he thirsts.

Mih.

Thou little dapper thing, thou, hold thy peace.

Ant.

Thou seest he can scarce stand.

Gab.

No, my religious brethren, no more wine. Enough's a feast, and little doth suffice.

I thirst to do some honour to our cause. To lead

forth legions to fight a battel 'gainst our. malignant adversaries.

Nick.

Brave.

Gab.

Such an employment now would make me famous, for my sufficiency of Att in Armes.

Nick.

I vow, this man has hidden things in him.

Mih.

He has as brave a warlike spirit, man, before his precise humour tainted it, as ever breath'd in Hector.

Nick.

I vow then, a good orderly diet of nothing but sack for a week together, would revive it in him, and bring it to good again.

Mih.

I hope, 'tis done already.

Ant.

How do you, sit?

Gab.

I feare some Jesuitical fumes have invaded my Brain pan. All me thinks goes whirley, whir∣ley, whirley.

Ant.

Best lie down upon a bed. Drawer!

Gab.

Souldiers must not be curious. A Bench or a∣ny thing.

Draw.

The Gentleman may have a bed here, an't please you. But sir, there's an old angry Gentleman below, that asks for you, and by all description for that mortified Gentleman. And will by all meanes presse into your room here.

Mih.

It is my father.

Dorc.

O me! What shall I do?

M••d. Bet. Fran.

We shall be all clap't up.

M••.

Fear nothing, veile your face a little; Who is with him?

Draw.

No body but his old Servingman, that it seems discover'd you. You may put this Gentleman into this inner room, and keep the Key your selfe. I know not what charge he has about him.

Mih.

Admirable honest fellow.

Draw.

And you may tell your father he is gone, for he is gone you see.

Nick.

I vow. a wit.

Draw.

Now if you'll be civil, I may bring him up to you, if not, because he is your father, we'll thrust him out of doors, an't please you.

Mi.

Notable rascal, well sir, let him up. I know how to fit him.

Dorc.

But this delays my businesse, Cousin, and will, I fear, frustrate my hopes.

Mi.

Nor hinder any thing, I'le warrant thee, he's thine. Play Fidlers, t'other dance.

Nick.

I vow.

Clot.

Will you! protest.

Ant.

You are not wilde?

Mad.

Come Wenches, if he venture in his fathers sight, shame take us and we blush.

[Dance.

Enter Croswill, Belt.

Cross. Belt.

And I had not sold all my land to live upon my money in Town here, out of danger or the Statute, I would give thee a Copihold for this dis∣covery.

Belt.

I thank your worship, and truly 'tis a good∣ly sight, me thinks, an't please your worship.

Cross.

I'm glad it likes you. Heigh, excellent good again. Heigh, Heigh, what an happinesse may fathers boast, that can bring their children up to this.

(Dance ended)

I cry ye mercy, Gentlemen all. Ha! I am so∣ry I interrupted your serious private occasions.

Nick.

Would you speak with any here, sir?

Mi.

It is my father, Gentlemen?

Cross.

Tny father? hold thy peace; dar'st thou use thy father thus? to spend thy time thus! ha! Is this place fit for the son of a Geatleman of quality? ha! why doest not answer me, does this company sort with thy reputation? ha!

Mih.

Sir, the company.—

Cross.

Hold thy peace, I say, or are these exerci∣ses allowable for a Gentleman, that ever said or heard Grace at his fathers Table? answer me that.

Mih.

An't please you, Sir.

Cross.

Hold thy peace when I bid thee.

Nick.

The company, sir, offends not you, I hope; you see the worst of us.

Cross.

In good time, sir, you are the distracted Gentlemen, I take it, that ask't him if he would moot to night? Is this your mooting? do you put cases to your VVenches, or they to you?

Nick.

I vow thy father talkes too much.

Cross.

Which are the better Lawyers? ha!

Mad.

But that you are his father, sit, and an old man, and he an honest young Gentleman, and our friend, we would tell you.

Cross.

I thank you for him, yes truly, heartily; and for your good opinion of him, heartily. Pray keep him amongst you while ye have him, for I'••e ha•• no more to say to him, I. Is your Invectives against drinking, wenching, and the abomination of the times come to this? is this your spending of time more pretious then money? is it you that knows not what to do with money but to buy books; and were drawn with such unwillingnesse to a Tavern? ha! you shall graze upon Littletons Commons, or eat nothing but books, an't please you, for any exhibition thou e∣ver get'st from me—And in that faith thou hast lost a father. Come sir, you have brought me to a goodly sight here; would any Villain but thy selfe have shewed his Master light to see so much woe! Thy Coxscombe shall yet pay fot't.

Belt.

O sir, O.

Cross.

This was your trim sight, was it?

Belt.

O.

Cross.

But well remembred. Pray where's your bro∣ther? my son I would say; for I know no brother or father thou hast. Where is Gabriel?

Mih.

He is not here, sir.

Cross.

Did you not tell me, Sirrah, he was here?

Belt.

I told you then too much. I feel it here.

Cross.

He was here, sir, but he is gone, sir.

Cross.

So, so, he's lost. He must be cried, or we shall never finde him.

Mih.

I'le warrant you, I'le find him yet to night, sir. Pray Gentlemen pay you the Reckoning, I'le wait upon my father home.

Cross.

Was that spoke like a son of mine? must o∣thers pay your reckoning, and I in place; take that, and do not make me mad. And why should you home with me? I pray, sir.

Mih.

Because sir, it grows dark, and 'tis the worst way as it is about the town; so many odde holes a man may slip into; pray take me with you, sir.

Cross.

Pray take no care for me, sir, and let the way be as it is. Do not think me worse at it in the dark then your self, I beseech you. But you talk't of the Reckoning, pray let not the want of money for that hinder the search of your brother. There's towards your paines for that; and so for a farewel to you and your friends here, till I hear thou keepest better company, let me hear no more of thee.

Ex. Cross. and Belt.

Mih.

There was no way to get this money, and be rid of him, but to offer him my service He would have driven me out before him else. But come, let's see my brother that went to sleep in so warlike a Passion. I hope he'll wake in a better.

Nic.

Mun Clotpoll, thou art dull.

Clot.

No, I protest, but struck with admiration at the old Blades humour.

Nick.

Come, Dammy and the rest, be merry. I vow, we'll sup together, and so at last hear all thy dis∣mal story.

Nick.

I mean he shall, and such an Audit make, As shall restore her honour from the stake.

Ex. Omnes.

Act V.

Scaen. 1.

Enter Crossewill Solus.

Cross.

WHat has this Coxscombe Cockbrayne writ me here? That he desires his ab∣sence be excus'd. What have I to do with him? when I send for him, let him come to me. That he is up∣on a point of discovery in a most excellent project for the weeding of this Garden? what Garden? what project? A project he says here for the good of the Republike, Repudding. This fellow has in stead of braines, a Cob-web in his Noddle, with little strawes, feathers, and wings of dead Butterflies hanging in it, that having motion by his aery fancie, there dance and keep a Racket; 'tis to teach women silence, or some such foolish impossibility. He is ambitious to be call'd into authority by notice taken of some spe∣cial service he is able to do the tate aforehand. But what great service he is able to do it, or which way to undertake it, falls not in the reach of my imaginati∣on. But good Mr. Croswill, by your favour now, what reason have you to slight or wrangle at this man? this honest Cockbrayne? that has alwayes been a con∣stant friend to you, and officious in many good wayes, and is a Gentleman, not only of good descent and e∣state, but of a good disposition. And you two, Mr. Crossewill, by your leave, have alwayes agreed like

neighbours children. I, the divel was in't, and now he vexes me again; we agreed in one point so well, that we have undone a couple of our children by it, and hindred the getting of I know not how many more. His son and my daughter should have married. And on a sndden he and I both consented to a dislike of the match and broke it, and have both repented it an hundred times since. We agree very wel in that point; and now is his son irrecoverably lost, and my daughter resolutely bent to be an Ape-leader in Limbo. But whats all this to the affliction I suffer in my sons now? that one of them from a riotous boy. should grow into a Puritanical Woodcock; and the tother from a civil well-qualified fellow, turn'd absolute Ruffian. There, there, I there's the devil in't. I could beat my selfe for getting such children.

Enter Belt.

See, see, my Master for want of other company fal∣len out with himself, and it please you, sir.

Cros.

It does not please me, nor thou pleasest me, nor any thing pleases me. The world's bent to crosse me, and thou shalt feel it.

Belt.

O good sir.

Cross.

Is it not so, sir, was not that dunce Gabriel, a most notorious wilde thing

Before he steer'd a Religious course? but then he run so full a saile, that he pass'd and was beyond the line of Religion before he was aware; and as he passed it un∣der the torrid Zone of Zeale, the Calenture took him o'the pate, that he is mad with it, and as far beyond Religion now as it is to it.

Belt.

Sir, there's hope that he may he fetch't halfe way back again, by your fatherly advicement, and be∣come a sound man.

Cross.

And then was not Mihil so civil, that he made me even sick to see him. And now is he flowen out as far into rior t'other way.

Belt.

But he, sir, will appear a present comfort to you, he is reclaim'd already; you shall never see such a Reformation in a Gentleman.

Cros.

What's this you tell me? ha!

Belt.

He has cast off his long-curl'd haire and all.

Cross.

He had been better have cut his head off. Where is he!

Belt.

Below sir, and a Gentlewoman with him, but very much afraid to appear to you. I never saw a man so timoursome.

Cross.

Do you think it fit I should go down to him, or he come up to me, fir, ha!

Belt.

I'le fetch him, here's a life!

Ex.

Cross.

I charg'd he should not come at this house too, for feare he might be catch'd with this mecha∣nick fellows daughter, though her portion be around one. And let him take heed he look not at her.

Enter Mihil and Madge.

Blesse me! what changeling is this? he's in his Brothers cut.

Mih.

Sir,—Sir.—

Cross.

Would you speak with any here, sir, do you know me. I know not you, I assure you.

Mih.

The sense of your late displeasure, sir, has so humbled me into the knowledge of my self, that on the wings of true obedience, I flew after you to make a childes submission at your feet, to crave your pardon for my riotous transgression, and to ask your bles∣sing.

Cros.

A delicate speech, pray take it for fashion-sake.

But if I know how to look towards thee.

Mih.

Pray sir, bestow it really upon me.

Cross.

God blesse thee, I say, and so much many honest men bestow daily on sons that are none of their own, if thou beest mine, how camest thou thus like a fellow that had narrowly scap't the Pillorie, and brag'd in the publication of his eares? not an hair left to hide them.

Mih.

To shew my readinesse to reform my life, sir. And yet a willingnesse withal to live, as well, as civilly, in which I am in all humility to preferre a suit to you. You know, sir, I am but a younger bro∣ther.

Cros.

What will this come to?

Mih.

Here is a widow, sir, a Gentlewoman of great estate, and of a well-known life. Antient she is, and has had husbands. How many?

Mad.

Foure truly, sir.

Mih.

Foure sir, I would not lie. Of which the worst spoke well of her on's death-bed.

Mad.

What's that to me or thee? come to the point.

Mih.

I have all wo'd and wonne her, sir, and crave but your good-will to marry her. I have brought a Church-man and a Kinsman to give her.

Cross.

Why so, what needs two words then? do you think I can deny you?

Mih.

If he does grant it, 'tis the first request that e're he granted in his life. Sure the old Match-ma∣ker the devil thinks I am in earnest to marry this beast. And puts a readinesse in his hand to for∣ward it.

Cross.

Widow, you are welcome. Why call you not your Priest? or tarry sir, let me question you but a little, Do you think seriously you love this wi∣dow?

Mih.

Better then many men love their wives, I am perswaded.

Cross.

'Tis very well, what children have you wi∣dow?

Mad.

Never had any, Sir.

Cross.

Very well still.

Mi.

Nor ever like to have any, fir, thats the com∣fort. We shall live at the lesse charge.

Cross.

Thou art a covetous and a preposterous Knave. Wouldest thou bury up thy youth in barren ground? doest seek after wealth, and not after issue? doest love to feed on other mens leavings? or travel only in a beaten path? ha!

Mih.

A man goes certainest on his journey so, sir, and lesse trouble it is you know to go in at a great gate, then a narrow wicket.

Cross.

You have said enough, sir, and delight to crosse me; but I'le crosse you for once, and lay a crosse upon you, shall perhaps carry you to your grave. Go, fetch your Priest.

Mih.

I'le face it as far as I dare. I hope I shall have the grace to pull my hand from the book when it comes so far.

Ex.

Cross.

Widow, you are resolv'd to have him too.

Mad.

Before all men i'th' world by your fair leave, 1.

Cross.

You shall not have him.

Mad.

Without your free consent, I will not.

Cross.

I am resolv'd I'le do't. And 'twill be the best crosse trick that e're I did in my life. Pray let me speak in some more private wirh you.

Mad.

If I but 'scape Bridewell, I care not.

Scoen. 2.

Enter Mihil, Anthonie, Katharine, Parson.

Mih.

Now Tonie, she's thine own, Now Sister Kate;

he's thine. The Priest has pronounc't it. I say, A∣men to't. And heaven give you joy.

Kat.

Now you have done the best brotherly office that ever made a Sister happy.

Ant.

And the friendliest to a friend. We have been casting for it, Sweet, this Twelve-moneth, and Heaven pardon me. I vow'd never to take acquaint∣ance of my Father, till 'twere effected. Although I know of late he has been willing.

Kat.

And so is mine, I know, but yet he swore, that I should match my self before he knew't, or I should never marry.

Mih.

You'll finde him of another minde towards me, and force me into wedlock presently.

Kat.

You have ta'ne the likeliest course that could be. But what is your disguiz'd woman, Bro∣ther.

Mih.

What you shall never know, Sister, I hope.

Enter Crossewill, Rookesbill, Lucie, Madge.

Cross.

Come sir, I have broken off the match with your widow; and she's content to leave you as she found you. And now take me this pretty, simpring, plump-lip't, ruddie-cheek't, white-neck't, long-fin∣ger'd Virgin in hand, or I will swindge you, Sirrah, look to't. If you cannot live civilly with a young wife, you cannot but be mad with an old, I think. Be∣sides, she's a friends daughter of mine, and prepar'd by her discreet father here to love you. Come, and kisse her, quickly, Sirrah.

Mih.

I cannot do't for all the wealth in the world.

Cross.

How's that?

Mih.

Kisse a Maid I never saw above twice in my life.

Cross.

He will have me think him a bastard, do I what I can. Canst thou see a Maid twice, and not kisse her?

Mih.

Yes, twenty times, sir, and not kisse her, or if once, not above, sir.

Cross.

But you shall kisse her above and below, sir, and in every room o'th' house, sir, before you part. Stand faire pretty one.

Luc.

I know not how to do't.

Rook.

You were not best let me instruct you. I can be angry too.

Luc.

His back side's towards me.

Cross.

Turne your self, Sirrah, or I'le turne you. Go to, bend your body a little and be hang'd. So, now come your way, and say after your little Sir John here, I Mihil take thee, Lucie, &c. As learning shall enable him to proceed without book.

Rook.

Pray let'em do it in the next chamber, they are too bashful afore us. There are witnesses enough. Go all in, I pray you.

Mih.

Widow, will you give me leave to obey my father?

Mad.

With all my heart, and say Amen to the marriage.

Cross.

I think I shall have my will at last upon one of my rebellious off-spring.

Rook.

And now, pray give me leave sir, to let you know how happy I do hold my selfe in this marriage. I did like this Son better then the other before. And now I like him better then I did at my former view of him, by some Reformation that I do observe in him. And I do not a little rejoyce in the honour I may have to call you brother.

Cross.

That very word brother out of his mouth, has turn'd my stomack. I must pull all in pieces again. And yet let me see these young bloods when they

are set on't; if they do not marry, they will do worse. Let em e'ne go on now.

Rook.

You may easily conceive, sir, what a com∣fort it will be unto me, that I now growing old, and having (I give praise for't,) wealth enough, and no childe that I make account of but this one daughter, may, before I die, see Grandchildren that I may have by her sufficiently provided for, be they more or lesse in number, they may have enough.

Cross.

There he is again, he calls my Grand-chil∣dren that shall be, his Grand-children. Am I a Gentleman, and can hear this? if it be not too late, I'le spoile the getting of your Grand-children.

Enter all again.

All.

Heaven give you joy. Heaven give you joy.

Cross.

What, are you married?

Pars.

I do pronounce them man and wife.

Ant.

Mad. Kat. And we are witnesses.

Crosse.

What remedy?

Mih. Luc.

We are, and crave your blessings.

Cross. Rook.

All blessings be upon you, (all sa∣lute).

Cross.

But you, sir, Mr. Bridegroom.

Mih.

I'le only gratifie the Minister.

Cross.

Do so, and pay him well, it is, perhaps, for the dearest fault that e're thou didst.

Mih.

There's for your paines, sir. Madge, there's for you. Enough to purchase thee a Licence to sell Ale, Tobaccho, and Strong-water again in Godpiece-Rowe, for here will be no dwelling for thee, I see that.

Now, brother Anthonie, go you all back to the com∣pany we left, and see that my Instructions be followed

concerning my brother Gabriel, Nick, and his Dam∣mie,

Ant.

All, all.

Kat.

Shall he go from me?

Mih.

Yes, but you shall follow him presently, trust to me Sister. Go, take no leave of 'em. I'le bring 'em upon you presently.

Cross.

Are you at leisure now, sir, to tell me of your brother.

Mih.

Yes, to my grief, sir, praying you may have patience.

Cross.

To your grief, sir, he is not dead then? Younger brothers seldome grieve for their Elders death.

Mih.

Pray bear it as you may, sir I left him in an heavy plight. And let me speak it with sorrow, he lay speechlesse.

Rook.

Alack-a day, good Gentleman, my son in-law, perhaps, is heire already.

Cross.

And hast thou been here all this while fooling or wiving (all's a matter) & left thy brother in danger? ha!

Mih.

He's well attended, sir, and look't unto. Nor would I wish you see his weak estate.

It can but grieve you, sir, my wife and sister, toge∣ther with my self, will go. Or if

It please my father Rooksbill here, because his power in this quarter is available.

Cross.

Co, shew the way. I'le go in person, I. My son's my son.

Mih.

Nay, pray sir.

Cross.

Yes, 'cause you have a wife, you shall con∣troul me. Will you go on, sir.

Mih.

Well, I'le bring you to him, sir.

Luc.

What was your widow, sir, she stunk of Aqua∣vitae, fearfully.

Mih.

I'le tell thee as we go. Kisse.

Exeunt.

Scoen. 3.

Enter Clotpoll, Dorcas, Nick.

Nick.

What a drunken sot was I, that knew thee not all this while? I vow, thy story pities me. I'le marry thee, and turne thee to thy friends, for I am sure I have none that will keep thee for my sake.

Dorc.

I ask no further satisfaction of you, then to be honested by marriage. I'le work for a poor li∣ving.

Nick.

Prithee Mun seek me a Priest.

Clot.

I have no acquaintance in their function, I.

Dorc.

My Cousin Mihil said he would bring or send one.

Nick.

There's no starting, that Mihil has a fist o∣ver me. I vow, and thou wert not his Kinswoman, thou should to the Common yet.

Clot.

Father, how come you hither?

Capt.

Did not the company send for me?

Nick.

I vow, not we.

Capt.

The City-mouth, that peck't us at my lodging last night, came to me with an abominable scratch't face, and warn'd me on a businesse hither.

Nick.

I smell some trick.

Clot.

Some treacherie upon the brotherhood, per∣haps.

Nick.

Timorous thing! what in our own Quar∣ter?

Capt.

If you doubt any thing, 'tis best remove. The fellow was sorely handled.

Nick.

I would but see the carcass of authority prance in our Quarter, and we not cut his legs off. Wel∣come Tonie, what hast thou brought the word here to passe for the Reckoning.

Enter Ant. Parson.

Ant.

Come, you must make a wedding-night on't Nick, Mihil will go no lesse.

Nick.

My Vow is pass'd, and before you, sir, I con∣firm it. This is my wife. Anon, you shall perform the holy Ceremony,

Ant.

'Tis well, pray sir, retire your self to the next room there a while, and stay you with him, Lady.

But what do you with Gabriel? Is it not time to wake him yet?

Clot.

'Tis now upon the point, h'as slept two houres.

Nick.

Father, you'll see a brave experiment upon a Gentleman that has been a youth.

Clot.

And of the Philoblathici, as we are now.

Nick.

And since was grown one of the reformed, and we are now in practice to retrive, and bring him back to his first condition.

Ant.

Have you followed all Mihils directions?

Nick.

Hitherto we have. First, you saw he was laid defunct in Sack, next in his sleep, we have accou∣tred him in martial ab liments, and now we mean to wake him with alarmes shall affright the silly humour out of him, and render him his warlike faculty, or our Art failes.

Ant.

Where be the Wenches?

Clot.

The Sisters of the Scabberd, there's the sport on't. They have their parts to play upon him too. But for his drink now when he wakes, you said you would have a bottle of the womans what do you call't yonder? the Medea.

Capt.

What? the charm'd liquor that Medea brew'd to make old father Aeson young again?

Must that renew his youthful spirit in him?

Nick.

No, Sack will do bette••. When he wakes he will be very dry, then a quart-draught of good Ca∣narie will so screw him up. 'Tis time 'twere now in practice. So, softly, softly. We must but halfe wake him at first.

A Bed put forth, Gabriel on it, Bettie and Frank.

Gab.

O some small drink.

Nick.

Here, drink it off, sir,

(Drinks)

D••um and Trumpet. An Alarm.

Gab.

Surpriz'd by th' enemie, whilest we have plaid the Sluggard in our Tents.

Capt. Nick. Clot.

Hold Captain, hold, we are your souldiers.

Gab.

Y'are Mutineers, and have disturb'd my rest. And I'le do Martial Justice on you all.

Nick.

I vow, hold, are you mad?

Gab.

Know you not discipline? or are you growen rebellious in the Camp. I'le teach you war∣fare.

Capt.

You have conjur'd a fury into him to beat us into fitters.

Clot.

My pate bleeds for't; I protest.

Gab.

I'le make you know command.

Ant.

Noble Commander, hold thy furious hand, and heare thy souldiers speak.

Gab.

What have we women for our Martial Mu∣sick?

Clot.

None but the She-Trumpet, a neighbour here, and her Sister, that was Drum-ma••or to my Coun∣trey-Amazons, that pull'd up the Inclosures to lie all in Common.

Gab.

Is the enemy i'th' field?

Nick.

Upon their march, Captain, and we your of∣ficers: But rows'd you up to be in readinesse.

Gab.

You are my Lieutenant, you my Ancient, and you two my Sergeants; and you must know the Com∣mander

you serve under, to be none of those Letter-carriers that know not so much as the termes of dis∣cipline, what a Flanker is, Nor a Raveling is. Nor a Petarre is. Nor a Curtain is. Nor a Bulwark is. Nor a Bastile is. Nor a Counterscarp is. Nor a Casemate is. A Gabion is: Nor any left word of fortification. How can such fresh-water Captains command?

All.

Right noble Colonel. He shall be our Co∣lonel.

Clot.

One souldier made up of Sack, is worth as many as would drink a fresh water river dry.

Gab.

I knew, men of abilities should at last be put in action.

Valiant men and wise, Are only fit for weighty enterprise.

All.

O noble Colonel.

Gab.

What would an upstart Militaster now, That knew no rudiments of discipline, nor Art of warre, do in a sudden service? or say, when I know how to have my Ordnance planted here, my Cavalrie mount∣ed here, my Battery-discove••er on such a point, my Trenches cut thus, my Mine carried thus, my Gabi∣ons rais'd thus. Here my Parapet, there my Pallisadoe o'th'top of that. The enemie made saltable six hun∣dred paces there. And I draw out my Musketeers to flank 'em in their Trenches here, while my Pikes and Targeteers advance to the breach there. What would Captain, my Lords man, or Sergeant-major, my Ladies Kinsman, sent in by honourable favour, do or say in such an expedition?

All.

Braver and braver still.

Clot.

This goes beyond the Blade and the Bat∣toon.

Gab.

Or how would their braines lie in their breeches, when the able Captain leads up his men in the Head of a Troop bravely, charges with his shot,

makes a stand with his Pikes, does execution with his Sword, the Cannon playing, the Drum beating, the Shot thumping, the Ensignes waving, the Armes clashing, the Aire rending, Dust and Smoke clouding, Blood raining. And then to bring up such a Division to fight, make good such a Ground, relieve such a Squadron, fetch off such a losse, r'enforce the Ranks that are broken. March on, Come off. Beat the Bessognes that lie hid in the Carriages. O the renown∣ed life of a worthy Commander.

Nick.

Sound Drum and Trumpet.

All.

A Colonel, a Colonel.

Enter Croswill, Rooksbill, Mihil.

Cros.

Whither hast thou brought me? does thy brother lie speechlesse in this house? ha! what in the name of tumult can these be?

Mih.

Pray sit, attend, you will be pleased a∣non.

Gab.

A still march now. So, I have lost a great ma∣ny of my men. But courage yet, you poor remainder of my scatter'd Troops. Stand. Qni vala. An Am∣buscado of the enemy. Alarme. Lieutenant, charge in with your Shot. Now Gentlemen, for the honour of Covent-Garden, make a stand with your Pikes; in to the short sword; well fought, take Prisoners. Sound a Retreat now. Faire, faire i'th' coming off. So, 'twas bravely perform'd.

Clot.

Must we not fall to rifling now, Colo∣nel.

Mih.

Part faire on all sides, Gentlemen.

Gab.

What's this, a vision, sure I do aile some∣thing.

Cross.

Is't possible it is thou? art thou run mad as far as hell the tother way now.

Rook.

My wicked, caitiffe, reprobate son is here too. Pray let me flee, I am but a dead man else.

Mih.

You shall receive no harm, sir Lay by your Armes my Masters. I bring none but friends.

Nick.

I hou canst not make that good, my father's there.

Mih

I'le make him friends with thee. Go and di patch within.

Ant.

I'le see it done, and take our new made Brides with us for witnesses.

Ex. Nick. Ant. Kat. Luc.

Rook

Has his shame yet taught him to shunne my sight.

Mih.

And shall returne him instantly your com∣fort.

Rook.

Unpossible, unpossible.

Mih.

Attend the event.

Cross.

I rather thought I should have found you, sir, disputing with the Pastors, and the Elders; yet to say truth, this is the better madnesse. What can this mean? how came he thus translated? what Charmes, or what Inchantments are upon him?

Gab.

What Babel was a building in my braines? But now it turnes, and I can recollect The knowledge of a father, brother, Sister. And that a thousand vain imaginations, Like scatterings of light things upon the earth, Rushes, loose leaves, sprigs, straws, and dust Contracted by a whirlwinde, were blowen up, And lodg'd in the rich Seat of Contemplation, Usurping there the room of vertuous thoughts. Honour awake me from this Lethargie.

Cros.

What can those women that appear like furies be in this action?

Mih.

They were but us'd as properties to give new motion to his mortified condition.

Cros.

I know not what to say to any thing; there

is some Spell upon me too. My anger has forsook me. What are those men that bear a countenance. As if they stood indifferently affected to Bedlam and Bride-well.

Clot.

Meaning by us, sir. If our sight offend you, Know we are men that dare forbear the place.

Capt.

I son, let's go, our stay is dangerous. They look like Peace-maintainers, we••ll fall off.

Enter Vintner.

Vint.

O tarry, Gentlemen, we are all undone else. If you make not your peace before you stir, both you and I must suffer.

Capt.

What's the matter?

Vint.

The Magistrates and Officers with their Bill-men have ta'ne us by surprise. They are i'th' house.

Bett.

O me! the blew Gown Colledge.

Fran.

Wheels and whips. I feel what we must go to. Did not I say our stay was dangerous?

Clot.

Did not I say there was some subtile pra∣ctice upon the Philoblatici? and that we were betrayed hither?

Vint.

There's no escaping forth. And Gentlemen, It will but breed more scandal on my house, and the whole plantation here, if now you make rebellious up∣roar. Yield your weapons, and welcome Justice but like subjects new, and peace will follow.

Clot.

But where's Nick? where's Tonie?

Mih.

They shall yield up their weapons. So do you.

Capt.

Yes yes, 'tis best.

Clot.

Shall we, sir, shall we?

Mih.

Yes sir, you shall.

Clot.

So, sir, I will then, not the Blade alone. But

for your more security, the Battoon, There see my Armes forth coming.

Exeunt.

Mih.

Say they shall have faire welcom, What are they married?

Enter Nick. Dorcas, Ant. Kat. Luc.

Ant.

Yes, as fast as troth and holy words can binde 'em.

Mih.

'Tis well. Now sir, let me entreat your favour. 'Tis my first suit to you since I was your son, That before others entrances distract our troubled Scoene, these may be reconcil'd.

Down. Brother Nicholas.

Nick.

Even unto the earth, sir, and humbled with as true a penitence, as son can be for wronging of a father, I beg your pardon and blessing.

Cros.

Give it him, Brother Rooksbill, I dare say 'twill make him a good man.

Rook.

Heaven make him so. My blessing and my prayers shall not be wanting.

Cros.

What? my Neece Dorcas made an honest wo∣man?

Gab.

Was that the man that wrong'd my Cousin Dorcas?

Mih.

Yes, and has now made ample recompence.

Enter Cockbrayne, Cit. Watch. Madgeo

Cit.

Here they are altogether, sir.

Cock.

Lay hands on all. First, on that old Ruffian, the Incendiarie, that sets the youthful bloods on fire here with his Infernal discipline. Next, take his sons, there's one, that young Blade there, Have I now got within ye, Gentlemen? will you have Songs ex temporc? know ye me now? a ha! I'le be can'd the

Weeder of this Garden. Take up those She weeds there. I have the rank one here. I took her stragling in my Round e'ne now.

Rook.

My Tenant, I take it, Mrs. Margerie How∣let.

Cros.

Your widow sir, I think.

Mih.

But for a shift sir, now you know my aim.

Mad.

O good your worship, as you came of a wo∣man.

Cock.

Peace Circes, cease thy charmes. What clu∣ster have we here now. O here's another of the sons of noise.

Rook.

That's my son now, sir, by your leave, and I'le baile him.

Cook.

What Mr. Rooksbil, are you here? what wo∣man's this?

Cros.

My Neece, sir, his sons wife. And I'le baile her.

Cock.

What Mr. Croswill, you among this Ginge too?

How will you 'scape commitment?

Cross.

Why, Mr. Cockbrayne? how his braines crow now?

Cock.

Who's here? your daughters too? but what are these?

Cros.

I hope they'l prove my sons, and be indiffe∣rent men in time, sir, by that time their haire may grow, or be reduc't to an indifferent length.

Mih.

That's done on me already, sir.

Cros.

Now he looks as like a Rogue as e're he did again.

Gab.

And sir, for me, now that my Cousin is resto∣red, and the wilde fury of my wine abated.

I do you the obedience of a son, acknowledging my former formal habit was more of stubbornnesse then true devotion. For which I beg your pardon.

Cros.

There's more deceit under these half Foot∣balls, then in whole Pudding-bags. Well boyes, be you indifferent sons, neither too hot nor too cold. I have found a fault in myself, I confesse. I will re∣form it, and be an indifferent father.

Cock.

O here's the man I sought, whom, I confess, I am half sorry to commit with the rest, because I found him civiller.

Ant.

Hoping you will not stake that good opinion, I'le now come nearer to you. And since here is such a convention of love and joy. I hope my offering of a sons true duty may sinde I dulgencie.

Cock.

What? my son Antonie?

Cross.

How? how? your son that should have had my daughter? Come hither Kate, now if thou lov'st him, take him. Are you content, friend Cock∣brayne.

Cock.

O sir, most happily.

Cros.

Why run you not together?

Ant.

It is too late, or needlesse now for me to marry her.

Cros.

Is't come to that? and if I do not swindge him—.Are you too good, sir, for my daugh∣ter?

Ant.

I do not say so, sir.

Cros.

Huswife, do you like him?

Kat.

No more then he does me, sir.

Cros.

Get you together, or I'le swaddle you both into one, you perverse fooles.

Ant.

Sir, the truth is, we are married already.

Kat.

'Tis so, indeed, sir.

Cros.

Heyday! who am I trow? how durst you do it vvithout my consent?

Kat.

I had your consent, sir, you commanded me to take my choice in vvhom I pleas'd, before you vvould take notice.

Cros.

I cannot abide this vvrangling. Give you joy.

Cock.

Joy and my blessing on you. Why I knovv not vvhom to commit novv.

Cros.

You have done the Common-wealth a special piece of service the vvhile vvith your State-braines. But let us make a night of this, I pray.

Cit.

Sir, the parties have given me satisfaction, and I am content they be releas'd.

Cros.

There's an honest fellovv novv, and looks like one that vvould be beaten every day for ready money. Go novv, vvhile ye are vvell, and be seen no more in this Precinct.

All.

Never and't please your vvorships, never.

Cros.

'Tvvas built for no such vermine. Hence avvay. And may the place be purg'd so every day. 'Tis no unvvorthy member may be found, To pester or to vilifie this ground. That as it vvas intended, it may be A Scoene for Vertue and Nobilitie.