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GO Sirrah, make your reckoning for our din∣ner. Leave us this wine, and come when we call you. We have businesse.
I shall, sir, by and by.
Well, sir, you will be of both you say, the Blade and the Battoon?
Of both, sir, by all meanes, both Philoblathi∣cus and Philobatticus, I. I'le now have all that be∣longs to your order, or all my money again, that's for a certain.
Your money again? loe you there. You bring me a fit man, Gentlemen to be sworn, do you not? that talks of money again, when 'tis a main Article in the Oath, never to look for money again, once disfinger'd.
You will not spoil all now 'tis come so far? will you?
Well sir, when I have my Oath, and that I am sworn one of you. I'le do as you do, and care as little for money as he that has least.
Well, to the Oath then, for both the Bsade and the Battoon you say?
I by all meanes, Captain, for both. S'lid the Battoon may stick to me, when the Blade may flie out o'th' Hilts.
Yes, to the Brokers.
Lay your hands on these Hilts, sir. The Ar∣ticles that you depose unto are these, To be true and faithful unto the whole Fraternity of the Blade and the Battoon, and to every member thereof.
As ever faithful member was.
That at no time, wittingly or ignorantly, drunk or sober, you reveal or make discovery of the Brother, or a member of the Brotherhood, of his lodg∣ing, haunts, or by-walks, to any Creditor, Officer, Sut∣ler, or such like dangerous or suspitious person.
I defie them all.
That if any of the Brotherhood be in re∣straint or distresse by imprisonment, sicknesse, or whatsoever engagement, you make his case your own, and your purse and your travel his; and that if a bro∣ther die or finish his dayes, by end timely or untimelie, by Surfet, Sword, or Law. You wear the sable order of the Riband in remembrance of him.
A convenient cheap way of mourning.
That your purse and weapon to the utmost
of your strength, be on all occasions drawn to the as∣sistance or defence of a Brother or Brothers friend, be it he, be it she.
I understand you, and shall be as forward to fight for a She-friend, as ever the best man in the mir∣rour of Knighthood was for an honest woman.
That you be ever at deadly defiance with all such people, as Protections are directed to in Parlia∣ment, and that you watch all occasions to prevent or rescue Gentlemen from the gripes of the Law brissons. That you may thereby endear your selfe into noble society, and drink the juice of the Varlets labours for your officious intrusions.
And that will go down bravely.
You must rank your self so much the better man, by how much the more drink you are able to purchase at others costs.
Excellent.
You are to let no man take wall of you, but such as you suppose will either beat you or lend you money.
Better and better still.
The rest of your duties for brevity sake you shall finde specified in that copy of your Order. Kiss the book.
I'le swear to them whatsoever they be.
So, now I am a Blade, and of a better Rowe then those of Tytere tu, or Oatmeal hoe, and so an health to our Fraternity, and in chief to our Noble Captain Driblow.
Agreed, Agreed.
Now are you to practise or exercise your qua∣lity on the next you meet that is not of the Brother∣hood.
Are you one of the Brotherhood sir, of the Philoblathici.
I had else lost much sir, I have paid all dues be∣longing to it.
So have I as I hope to gain honour by't 40 li. thick at least; yet I have this left, please you command the half sir.
Another time, your reckoning is not yet paid perhaps.
'Tis the first money of mine that was refus'd since my coming to Town. I shall save infinitely.
I see now that I am sworn. How would I swear to get by it.
Take heed of that, Come hither son.
How have you screwed this youth up into this humour, that was such a dry miserable Clown but two dayes since.
The old way, by watching of him, and keep∣ing him high-flown a mattet of fourty eight houres to∣gether.
Men are apt to beleeve strange fancies in their liquour, and to entertain new opinions.
I have fastned three or foure cups upon my precise brother. I would 'twere as many pottles, so it would convert him into the right way of good fel∣lowship.
I vvould vve could see him, to try vvhat good vve could do upon him.
Perhaps vve might convert him.
He's above still vvith the old men. I stole from him, but to see if your Italick Mystresse vvere come yet. Your Madam.
No, she comes anon; but is my affliction a∣bove still.
Thy father? yes
Ptithee do not call him my father less he took better courses.
And so is thy Sister; the little Rogue looks so squeamishly on me, and I on her, as we had never seen before; but the foolish Ape out of a present affecti∣on she has taken to my Sister, has discovered to her the whole discourse of our love, and my familiarity with thee, which were enough to spoile all, if it were discovered to the old folkes, befote my cards were play'd.
Well, remember Mr. Mihil, you have pro∣mised me half, if the old dogged fellow give her all, and you marry her.
Thou canst not doubt me.
You know I can spoile all when I list, but to shew my countenance in your cause.
Such is your vertue, Sir. Well, I'le up to 'em again before I be mist; and when they part, I am for you again.
I have given you all the rudimenrs, and my most fatherly advices withal.
And the last is that I should not swear, how make you that good? I thought now I was sworne into this Brotherhood, I might have sworne what, and as much as I would.
That's most unnecessary, for look you son, the best, and even the leudest of my sons do forbear it, not out of conscience, but for very good ends; and in stead of an Oath furnish the mouth with some af∣fected Protestation. As I am honest, it is so. I am no honest man if it be not. Ud take me, if I lie to you. Nev'rgo, nev'rstirre, l vow, and such like.
Or never credit me or let me never be trusted.
O take heed of that, that may be spoken in so ill an houre, that you may run out of reputati∣on, and never be trusted indeed; the other will gaine you credit, and bring you into good and civil estimati∣on with your Hostesses; and make 'em terme you a faire conditioned Gentleman if he had it; and truly I never heard worse word come out of his mouth.
Nev'r-go, nev'r-stir, I vow. l'le have, I vow then.
I vow, but you shall not, that's mine.
Cann't you lend it me now and then brother? I'le have, I swear then, and come as nigh swearing as I can.
I swear but you must not, that's mine you know.
I protest then, I'le have I protest, that's a Ci∣ty-word, and best to cozen with.
Come boyes, fall to some practice, Let me see about at the new French balls, sprung out of the old English vapours
I protest come on. I'le make a third man.
Whose man are you?
Whose man is not to be asked, nor scarce whose subject, now he is of our Brotherhood.
Yes, by your favour he may ask.
I ask no favour, sir.
That may be granted.
You can grant nothing in this kinde.
I vow he may grant any thing of any kinde.
I swear, I neither can, nor will grant that.
That, I protest, may bear exception in∣deed.
Exceptions amongst us? nay, then I vow.—
I swear.
And I protest—
Part faire my boyes; 'tis very well per∣form'd; now drink a round to qualifie this bout.
Agreed on all parts.
Look upon me ye Common-wealths men now, like a State-Surgeon, while I search and try
The ulcerous coare of foule enormitie. These are a parcel of those venomous weeds, That ranklie pester this faire Garden-plot. Whose boisterous growth is such, that I must use More policie then strength to reach their root, And hoist them up at once. This is my way to get within 'em.So, 'tis gone round.
I muse these Mumpers come not.
Best send a boy.
Drawer, ha! where be those Rascalls? (Within) By and by.
Are you one of 'em, sir?
I am one that has the favour of the house, sir?
To intrude into Gentlemens privacies? ha!
To seek a poor living and 't please you, by picking up the crums of your liberalitie, for the use of my rare qualities.
And what's your qualitie?
It is to speak or sing ex tempore upon any Theame, that your fancie or the present occasion shall administer.
Can you drink before you lay your lips to't
O my weak eye-sight.
Or can you eate a crust without chawing, made of the Flower of Battoon.
O good Gentlemen, forbear, I beseech you.
The flower of Battoon. I protest a good jest, and 'twas mine own before I was aware, for he had the Maidenhead or first-blow of my Battoon. Nay, it shall down.
I will not yet desist; but suffer private affli∣ction with a Romane resolution for the publike wel∣fare, with full assurance that my fortitude shall at last get within 'em.
You are not satisfied, i•• seems, you Rascal, get you gone.
Phew! beat not the poor fellow so.
Let me come to him again, and flesh my self upon him. I will not only flesh my self, but tire up∣on him.
Enough, enough, good Gentlemen, you have beaten me enough of conscience. Was ever good Pa∣triot so rudely handled? but the end crowns all.
Forbear him sons. What canst thou be, that canst not be satisfied with beating? speak, art a man or a Ghost?
I have been, Sir, a man, and of my hands, howe're misfortune humbles me under your man∣hoods. But I have seen the face of warre, and serv'd in the Low-countreys, though I say't, on both sides.
Then 'tis impossible this fellow can be beat out of countenance.
We'll leave him in his qualiry for that con∣stant vertue.
Sure, 'tis Fenner or his Ghost. He was a ri∣ming souldier. Look, do his eyes stand right?
They had a dish e'ne now, sir.
Of sack, 'tis true here, take another, and wash the inside of your Throat. And let us hear your pipes in their right tune.
Give me a Theam Gentlemen.
The praise of sack. Sing the praise of sack.
Let it be of the Blade.
And the Battoon, I beseech you.
Do you call, Gentlemen?
I vow, I will have sack.
T'other quart of Canarie? you shall.
Are your eares so quick? I vow, I'le dull 'em.
Anon, anon.
I say, a song of Sack.
I, let it be of Sack.
Now you pump, do you?
No, sir, but think of a tune.
If he can pump us up a spring of Sack, we'll keep him, and break half the Vintners in Town.
I vow, well-said.
I swear, 'twas well.
I protest the best that I have heard in this kind. I wonder at his ability. I prithee, art not ac∣quainted with my two Poetical Drury-lane Writers? the Cobler and the Tapster.
No sir, not I, I work not their way. What I do is ex tempore after the Theme given.
But they run quite before you. Their Works are in print sometimes▪ and ready to be sung about streets, of men that are hang'd before they come to the Gallowes.
But did not Mihil say he would come again.
I marvel at his stay.
I, and the Mumpers, when come they? I long to see the Sisters, now I am a brother sworn and entred.
O here comes news. How now pig?
You must all presentlie to the Paris Tavern.
Must? at whose suit!
Mr. Mihil bade me tell you so.
Is he gone from hence?
He is, and all his gone and dispersed.
Then the old Jew my father's gone.
Only there's one delicate demure Gentleman with Mr. Mihil. travell'd along with him towards Pa∣ris. I believe he meanes to make a mouth of him.
O, 'tis his precise brother. But vvhere's thy Mystresse, and Madama Damaris? that they come not.
They desire to meet you there too, 'tis more private.
Avvay vve'll follovv thee.
Pig, hovv does thy father Hog, the Turkie Merchant?
I am in haste, Sir.
Why Turkie Merchant?
Because he trades in nothing but Turkie commodities; Egges and Concubines; 'tvvere vvell to geld him, and send him to the Grand Seignior, to vvait in his Seraglio.
Thou hast such a vvit in this Clotpoll of thine. The Reckoning Drawer.
Here, here, Sir; here's your bill.
Let see the summe. What is't Drawer? 40. sh. and 3. d. Si, your dinner, and what you had since, in all, sir.
'Tis very reasonable, Commend me to thy Master. Son Clotpoll pay't. It is your duty.
Yes, for my Brothership.
Boyes, I must leave you.
40. sh. for foure mens dinners, note that, yet he sayes 'tis reasonable.
Good Captain, He was ever the fairest Reckoner, though he has never the luck to pay any thing.
Fare you well, father.
When we have further occasion, we'll re∣pair to your lodging.
At Bloomesbury. Father, I know.
Bloomsbury? good, I note it.
Sirrah, look to the second Article of your Oath.
Against discovery of lodgings, haunts, or by-walks, I am warn'd.
Look that you be so.
40. sh. and 3. d. you'l bate the 3. d. will you not?
We'll not much stand for that Sir, though our Master sits at deare rent.
Give me your two peeces.
Pray let me see the bill before you pay it.
Well, I can hold it then.
Bread and beer, 1. sh. 4. d. I do not think we four could eat 3. d. of bread, and for my part, I drank but two glasses of beer.
And I but one, Ivow.
And my father and I but one betwixt us, I protest.
Ha' you no men below?
Below the earth doest mean? I am sure we have none above-ground.
I know not, Gentlemen, there's so much reckon'd at the bar, and you please you may see it.
Nay, an't be at the bar, it stands for Law. Well, wine 5 sh. 9. d. I think we had no lesse. A Shoulder of Mutton stuff't with Oysters 8. sh. that cost your Master very near ten groats, a brace of Par∣tridge 5. sh. a couple of Cocks 4. sh. 6. d. a dozen of Larks 20. d. Anchovis 6. sh. I swear but a Sawcer full.
I'le be sworne they are so much reckon'd in the Kitch••n.
All's law, I tell you, all's law in Tavernes. But I hope there will be a law for you one o'these dayes. Then is their Fruit and Cheese, Tobaccho, Fire, and I know not what, is't right cast.
There is more hope of that young man, then of all the rest, indeed it is a sore abuse, another verie weed in the city. I do note that also.
Sirrah, before you have your money, fetch me a glasse of Beere. But canst thou sing this upon a∣ny subject.
Any sir, any, an't be till midnight.
But you have strange helps to your inventi∣on. I did note the rolling o' th' eye, and rubbing your Brows sometimes.
So did I, I protest, and therefore, I tell you what. If he can sing such another Song, and look stedfastly the while upon any thing, and hold his hands behind him. I'le give him half a crown; if not, he shall ha' nothing for tother.
Agreed Gentlemen, give me your Theme.
You shall give it him.
And withal, watch him if he stir hand or eye, especially the eye.
I will I protest, and set mine eye against his, that he shall not twink, but I'le perceive it, and lay him o're the pare.
Well Sir, your Theme.
In praise of the Battoon, and if you misse it you shall be sure on't.
You'll help me with the burthen, Gentle∣men.
Yes, yes, for the more grace of the Song.
Take you no care for that. Set your eyes and begin.
Marry, and take it Sir, why do you stare a∣bout? though you have broke Covenant, I have not.
Where be the Gentlemen?
Ha! they are not gone, I hope, where be my brothers Drawer.
Gone sir, and have sent me to you for the reckoning.
I protest you jest, do you not? I gave 'em the full summe, and all the money I had, I protest, I swear, I vow, now they are not here, I may make bold with their words. They have my money, I am sure.
If you have no money, pray leave a pawne, sir.
Take him there, put him in a cage, and let him sing it out.
We know him not, sir.
No? he said he had the favour of the house to sing to Gentlemen.
I feare I shall be discovered, sir, I can give your worship credit for a peece till you come to your lodging.
Protest, thou art generous; nay, I know where to finde'em; and thou shalt go with me to 'em, we will not part now, wee'll shoune 'em. I vow, (the words out) here, I'le leave my sword for t'other peece.
Your sword will not serve, sir, I doubt.
Take my coat too, a friend and a Battoon is better then a coat and a sword at all times.