Five nevv playes, viz. The English moor, or the mock-marriage. The love-sick court, or the ambitious politique: Covent Garden weeded. The nevv academy, or the nevv exchange. The queen and concubine. / By Richard Brome.

Scaen. I.

Enter Mihill. Taylor. Shoomaker.

Mi.

NAy, but honest Shoomaker; thy honest price.

Sho.

I tell you intruth, Sir, 'tis as good a boot as e∣ver you pull'd on in your life.

Mi.

A little too streight, I doubt. What do you think o' my boots honest Tailor.

Tay.

They do exceeding handsomely, never trust me Sir.

Mi.

Never fear it Tailor, you shall trust me, and please you.

Tay.

You are pleasant Sir.

Mi.

And what do you think of my suite Shooma∣ker? can you say as much for the Tailor as he for you.

Sho.

A very neat suite, Sir, and becomes you ex∣cellent.

Mi.

Honest men both, and hold together; one would little think you were so near neighbours. Well, you, have fitted me both, I must confesse. But how I shall fit you, now there's the point.

Tay.

There's but one way for than and please you.

Sho.

With paying us our money Sit.

Mi.

Still both in a tale, I can not but commend your neighbourhood, I muse my Laundresse stayes,

I sent her three or foure wayes for moneys. But do not you stay for that. I have wayes enough to pay you. I have ploughes a going that you dream not of.

Tay.

No indeed, Sir, we dream of nothing but ready money, sleeping or waking.

Mi.

I shall be rich enough ne're fear't. I have a venter in the new soap businesse man.

Tay.

We are but servants, Sir. And our Ma∣sters themselves have no faith, in flippery pro∣jects.

Sho.

Besides, the women begin to grumble a∣gainst that slippery project shrewdly, and, 'tis feard, will mutinie sho tly.

Mi.

Burlakin, and they may prove more trouble∣some then a commotion of Sailors.

Enter Laundresse.

O welcome, Laundresse, where's the money.

Laun.

Not a penny of money, Sir, can I get. But here's one come to town has brought you enough, and you can have grace to finger it.

Mi.

Who's that I prithee.

Laun.

Your father, your father Sir. I met his man by great chance, who told me his Master meanes to steal upon you presently, and take you as he findes you.

Mi.

Is he come up with his crosse tricks. I hea••d he was to come. And that he meanes to live here altogether. He has had an aime these dozen years to live in town here, but never was fully bent on't un∣til the Proclamation of restraint spurr'd him up. 'Tis such a Crossewill. Well, he is my father, and I am utterly undone if thou help'st me not now at a pinch, at a pinch, dear Laundresse. Go borrow me a Gown,

and some foure or five Law-books? for, I protest, mine are in Duck-lane. Nay, trudge, sweet Laun∣dresse, trudge.—

Ex. Laun.

Honest Tailor and Shoemaker convey your selves away quietly, and I'll pay you to morrow, as I am a Gentleman:

Shoe.

As I am a Shoemaker, and that's a kinde of a Centleman, you know, I'll not stirre till I have my money, I am not an Asse Sir.

Mi.

No body sayes thou art.

Shoe.

I have had too many such tricks put upon me i' my dayes.

Mi.

A trick! as I hope for money it is no trick.

Shoe.

Well Sir, trick or no trick. I must have my money or my boots, and that's plain dealing.

Mi.

A pox o'th' boots, so my legs were out of 'hem. Would they were i'thy throat, spurres and all, you will not out.

Shoe.

No marry will we not.

Tay.

Well-said Shoomaker, I commend thee, thou hast a better heart then I, though my stomack's good.

Enter Laundresse.

Mi.

O well said, my good Laundresse. How am I bound to thee; yet all this wo'not do't Laundresse. Thou must bestir thy stumps a little further, and bor∣row me a couple of Gownes more for these Rascals here that will not away.

Laun.

How! wo'not away? And they were well serv'd, they would be thrust out of doors for saucie companions. Your Masters would not put a Gentle∣man to his trumps thus.

M;.

Nay, svveet Laundresse, restrain thy tongue, and stretch thy feet. A couple of Govvns, good

Laundresse, and forget not caps.

Ex.

If I do novv furnish you like Civil Lavvyers, and you do not keep your countenances; if ever you do but peep in at the Hall-door at Christmas to see the revels, I'le have you set i'th' stocks for this beleeve it.

Sho.

If you do, Sir, I may hap be even vvith you before the year comes about, and set you in our stocks for't.

Tay.

But will you make Lawyers of us.

Mi.

Have you a minde to have your money you unbelieving Rascals.

Shoc.

I see your drift, and hope you'll prove an honest Gentleman.

Mi.

Thou hast some hope, though no faith nor trust in any man.

Shoe.

Alas, Sir, our Masters sit at grear rents, and keep great families.

Mi.

I cry you mercy, they are remov'd into the nevv plantation here, where, they say, are a tribe of Infidel-tradesmen, that have made a Law vvithin your selves to put no trust in Gentlemen. But beare your selves handsomely here you vvere best. I am acquainted vvith a crevv that haunts about your ha∣bitations, vvith whom I will joyne, and so batter your windows one of these nights else.—O welcom, Laundresse, how doest thou toile for me.

Laun.

Your fathers talking, as I am a woman, be∣low.—As thou art a woman below, well-said. Come on with these Gownes, and lets see how yow'll look. If we had time, the Shoomaker should wash his face; but seeing there is no remedy; pull the cap in your eyes, and good enongh. Now Laun∣dresse, set us stooles, and leave us.

Laun.

I hear him coming up.

Ex.

Mi.

Now let him come, we are ready for him. Shoomaker, keep your hand underneath the

book, that the pitch do not discover you.

Sho.

I warrant you, Sir.

Mi.

And Taylor, be sure you have no Needle on your sleeve, nor thread about your neck.

Tay.

I warrant you too for me, Sir.

Mi:

He's enrred.

Enter Croswill, Belt, and stand aside.

Mi.

Remitter, I say, is where a man hath two titles, that is to say, one of an elder, the other of a later. And he cometh to the land by the later title; yet the Law adjudgeth him to be in by the force of the elder title. If the tenant in the taile discontinee the taile, and after he diseaseth his dis∣continue, and so dieth seised, whereby the tenants descend to their issue, as to his Cousin inheritable by force of the taile. In this case the tenants descend, who have right by force of the taile, a Remitter in the taile taken for that in the Law, shall put and ad∣judge him to be in by force of descent. Pox on ye, speak something good or bad, somewhat.

Sho.

The Remitter, you say, is seised i'th' tail.

Mi.

Excellent Shoomaker, I say so, and again, I say, that if the tenant in the taile in feoffe his son, or his Cousin, inheritable by force of the taile, the which sonne or cousin at the time of the feoffment is within age, and after the tenant in the taile dierh, this is a Remitter to the heire in the taile to whom the feoffment is made, now Taylor.

Tay.

Think you so, Sir.

Mi.

Look either Fitzherbert, Perkins, or Dier, and you shall finde it in the second part of Richard Cordelyon. So much for Remitter. Novv I'll put a plain home-spun case, as a man may say, vvhich vve call a moot-case.

Sho.

I pray do Sir.

Cross.

Some father might take joy of such a sonne novv. This takes not me. No, this is not my vvay.

Mi.

The case is this

(aside)

pull up your grounds closer and behang'd, you are a Tailor, and you: a Shoomaker.

Sho.

And you owe us money.

Mi.

I put the case, I do, to you for a suit of clothes.

Tay.

Well.

Mi.

And to you for a paire of boots.

Sho.

True.

Mi.

I have broke my day with you both. Sup∣pose so.

Both.

Very well, we do.

Mi.

You clap a Sergeant o' my back. I put in bail, remove it, and carry it up into the upper Court, with habeas-Corpus; bring it down again into the lower Court with procedendo; then take it from thence, and bring it into the Chancery with a Cer∣tiorari; I; and if you look not to ••t, bring it out of the Chancery again, and thus will I keep you from your money till your suite and your boots be worne out before you recover penny of me.

Sho.

S••ly'd but you shall not, your father shall know all first.

Mi.

S'foot Shoomaker wilt thou be an Asse. I do but put a case, Have you not feen it tried.

Tay.

Yes, very often.

Cross.

Away with books. Away with Law. Away with madnesse. I, God blesse thee, and make thee his servant, and defend thee from Law, I say. Take up these books, sarrah, and carry them presently into Pauls Church-yard dee see, and change them all for Histo∣ries, as pleasant as profitable; Arthur of Britain,

Primalion of Greece, Amadis of Gaul, and such like de see.

Mi.

I hope he do's but jest.

Cross.

And do you heare, Sirrah.

Belt.

I Sir.

Cross.

Get Bells work, and you can, into the bar∣gain.

Belt.

Which Bell, Sir? Adam Bell, with Clim ••'th' Clough, and William of Cloudesley.

Cros.

Adam Bell you Asse? Valiant Bell that kill'd the Dragon.

Belt.

You mean St. George.

Cros.

Sir Jolthead, do I not. I'le teach you to chop logick, vvith me.

Mi.

Sfoot, how shall I answer my borrow'd books? Stay Belt. Pray Sir, do not change my books.

Cros.

Sir, Sir, I will change them and you too: Did I leave thee here to learn fashions and manners, that thou mightst carry thy self like a Gentleman, and dost thou wast thy brains in learning a language that I understand not a word of? ha! I had been as good have brought thee up among the wild Irish.

Mi.

Why alass Sir, Had I not better keep my self within my Chamber, at my Studie, then be rioting a∣broad, wasting both money and time, which is more precious then money? if you did know the inconve∣nience of company, you would rather incourage and commend my retir'd life, then any wayes dehort me from it.

Cros.

Why Sir did not I keep companie think you when I was young? Ha!

Ml.

Yes Sir; but the times are much alter'd, and youth more corrupted now, they did not drink and wench in those dayes, but nay, o 'tis abominable in these.

Cros.

Why this is that I fear'd, the boyes turning

meacock too, after his elder brother, 'twas time to look to him.

Nick. Rookesbill. Ant. Clotp.

Nich.

Why Croswill Mich. What, not up yet and behang'd. Or ha ye a wench a bed wye. Is this keep∣ing your home. Mihil runs to the door and holds it.

Mi.

Sfoot the Rogue Rooksbil and his crew, I fear'd as much.

Nic.

Break open the door, let me come to't.

Mi.

Forbear, or behang'd, you will undo me, my father's here. I'll meet you anon as I am honest.

Nic.

Your father's a Clowterdepouch. Nay, I will come then, what Madamoiselle do you call fa∣ther.

They Enter.

Mi.

You would not believe me. Pray be civil.

Ant.

'Tis so, we will Cry mercy, you are busie, we will not moote to day then?

Mi.

I hope you may excuse me, I'le be w'ye a∣non.

Nic.

Come to the Goat Capricorne. We have the bravest new discovery.

Ex.

Cros.

How now! what are these?

Mi.

They are Gentlemen of my standing, Sir, that have a little over-studied themselves, and are some∣what—.

Cros.

Mad; are they not? And so will you be shortly, if you follow these courses. Mooting do they call it? you shall moote nor mute here no long∣er. Therefore on with your cloak and sword, follow me to the Tavern and leave me such long-tail'd com∣pany as these are, for I do not like them.

Mi.

No more do I, Sir, if I knew how to be rid of 'hem.

Cros.

I think thou hast ne're a sword, hast thou, ha?

Mi.

Yes Sir.

Cros.

Where is it, Sir, let me se't Sir.

Mi.

'Tis here, under mybed, Sir.—Reach it.

Cros.

Why there's a Lawyers trick right, make his weapon companion with his Pisse-pot. Fie, fie, here's a tool indeed. There's money, Sir, buy you a good one, one with the Mathematical hilt as they terme it.

Mi.

It would do better in Mathematical books▪ Sir, offer me no money, pray Sir, but for books.

Cros.

Go to, you are a peevish Jack, do not pro∣voke me: do not you owe me obedience? ha!

Mi.

Yes Sir, I acknowledge it.

Cros.

'Tis good you do. Well, take that money; and put your selfe into cloathes befitting your rank, Do so. And let me see you, squirting about without a weapon, like an Attorneys Clerk in Tearm-time, and I'l weapon you, What, shall I have a Noddie of you. This frets him to the liver. Go to, never hang the head for the matter. For I tell thee I will have it so, and herein be knowen what I am.

[Aside

Mi.

You are known sufficiently for your crosse humour already; in which I'll try you if I can make you double this money, for this will not serve my turne.

Cros.

What have you told it after me, you had best weigh it too.

Mi.

No Sir, but I have computed that for my pre¦sent use, here is too much by halfe, pray Sir, take halfe back.

Cros.

Bodie o' me, what a perverse knave is this, to crosse me thus! Is there too much, say you? ha••

Mi.

Yes truly, sir.

Cros.

Let me see't. Go thy wayes, take thy mu∣sty books, and rhy rustie whittle here again. And take your foolish plodding dunci-coxcomely course, till I look after you again. Come away sirrah.

Ex. with Belt.

Mi.

Sfoot, who's the Gull now? Taylor, Shoo∣maker, you may go pawn your Gownes for any mo∣ney I am like to have.

Shoo.

We have all played the Lavvyers to pret∣ty purpose, in pleading all this while for nothing. Well sir, to avoid further trouble, I am content to withdravv my action, that is, pull off your boots a∣gain, and be jogging.

Tayl.

And for my part, sir, I can do no lesse then take you by default and non-suit you.

Enter Belt.

Mi.

Very good Lavvyers both, Is my father quite gone Belt?

Belt.

Gone in a tempest of high displeasure, sir: And has sent you here all the money he had about him; and bids you refuse it if you dare, 'tis above tvvice the summe he offered you before; but good sir, do not refuse it. He svvears he vvill try vvhe∣ther you or he shall have his vvill. Take heed you crosse him not too much.

Mi.

Well at thy request, because thou shalt not have anger for carrying it back again, I vvill accept.

Belt.

I thank you Sir. Consider, he's your fa∣ther, sir.

Mi.

I do most Reverend Belt. and vvould be loth to crosse him, although I may as much in taking his money as refusing it, for ought I knovv, for thou knovv'st 'tis his custome to crosse me, and the rest

of his children in all we do, to try and urge his obe∣dience; 'tis an odde way: therefore to help my self I seem to covet the things that I hate, and he pulls them from me; and makes shew of loathing the things I covet, and he hurles them doubly at me, as now in this money.

Belt.

Are you so crafty?

Mi.

Yes, but do thou put it in his head, and I'le pick out thy braines.

Belt.

You never knew an old Serving-man treache∣rous to his young Master: what? to the hopes o'th' house; you will be heire, that's questionlesse: for to your comfort, your elder brother growes every day more fool then the other. But now the rest of the message is, that you make haste, and come to my Master to the Goat in Covent-Garden, where he dines with his new Landlord to day.

Mi.

He has taken a house then.

Belt.

O, a most delicate one, vvith a curious Belconee and all belonging to't most stately.

Mi.

At the Goat does he dine, sayest thou.

Belt.

Yes sir.

Mi.

My crevv are gone thither too. Pray Mars vve fall not foule of one another. Well, go thy vvay, present my duty to him, I'le follovv presentlie. Tell him I took his money vvith much unvvilling∣nesse.

Belt.

As Lavvyers do their fees. Let me alone sir.

Ex.

Mi.

Well Tailor and Shoomaker; you have put me to't, but here's your money.

Shoo.

'Twas for that we did put you to't Sir.

Mi.

Let's see your biil Tailor

Tai.

Here 'tis, sir, as ready as a Watchmans.

Mi.

Then good vvords vvill passe it, 7 li. 4. sh. tell your money; yours is 14 sh. boots and Galloshes.

There 'tis and 12. d. to drink.

Shoo.

I thank your vvorship.

Mi.

Are you right Tailor.

Tai.

Yes and please you Sir.

Mi.

There's a shilling for you too, to spend in bread.

Shoo.

He knows both our diets. We'll make bold to take leave of your worship.

Mi.

Not so bold as I'm glad I'm too well rid of you, most courteous Gentlemen.

Ex. Ta. Sh.

To see what money can do; that can change mens manners, alter their conditions: how tempestuous the slaves were without it. O thou powerful metal! what authority is in thee! Thou art the Key to all mens mouthes. With thee a man may lock up the jawes of an informer, and without thee he cannot the lips of a Lawyer.

Ex.