The adventures of Covent-Garden in imitation of Scarron's City romance.

THE Adventures OF COVENT-GARDEN.

A Young Gentleman somewhat addicted to Poetry and the Diversions of the Stage, stand∣ing one Evening behind the Scenes in Drury-lane Playhouse, was accosted with a Message by the Door-keeper, that a Lady in the Entrance desir'd to speak with him; he readily obey'd the Charge, but was strangly surpris'd to be saluted by a Voice well known to him, and a Person whom he ima∣gin'd in another Kingdom (one whom

he passionately lov'd) and whose ab∣sence he much regretted; their Joys were mutual at the Interview, but his the greater, because heightn'd by surprise and unexpectancy; for Hea∣vens sake, Madam (said the Spark in a transport) is your Husband dead? and may I hope at last that you are mine; The Lady answer'd only by a deep Sigh, and conducting him to the Coach which waited for her, she gave him the following account. You may remember, my dear Peregrine, (said she) that constrain'd by the Ri∣gour of covetous Parents, who consult∣ed my Fortune, not Inclinations, I broke my Vows and Protestations to you and married Richly. Revive not the fatal remembrance (answer'd Peregrine) which occasion'd me so much misery, forcing me thro grief to leave the King∣dom, and come hither for London, but rather declare the cause which so happily has Blest me now with your Presence so far beyond my hopes. Alas

Sir, reply'd Emilia, why shou'd you doubt the occasion, knowing your self and knowing me? how could I rest in the Embraces of Another, whilst nothing but a narrow Sea parted me from my dear Peregrine. I gave my friends the satisfaction to see me married to Richly, but did my self the Justice to live with none but my Dearest— with which words pressing his Hand, and letting her Head fall with a Sigh in his Bosom, she murmur'd out the rest in a Language which Lovers only understand. The Coach stopt in Bow-street Covent-Garden, where the Lady had taken Lodgings. Pereg. was a little startl'd to find himself ex∣actly opposite to a House wherein dwelt a Lady whom he Courted; for being advis'd, that the only cure for the loss of an old Mistress is a new one, and his Fortune being very much weakn'd by expence of Travel, he had pitch'd on the aforesaid Lady of a considerable Fortune and good

Family, to relieve his decay'd Estate by marrying her; He had won pret∣ty far on the Ladies Inclinations, and Acted the Lover so well and so fre∣quently, that he had almost made it habitual to him, and through pure strength of imagination did almost believe her as captivating as his for∣mer Mistress; but it was only a fan∣cy, for he soon forgot all his Passion at the first sight of Emilia; and his wavering Affection, like a lesser Light, was soon swallow'd in the appearance of a greater; he conducted Emilia to her Chamber, where they spent an Hour or Two, pleasantly repeating the Adventures of their past Court∣ship, and now and then making pro∣testations to improve the future. How strangely ridiculous are Lovers! this Lady had been the greatest cause of many misfortunes to him, and he had substantial reasons to believe, the rigour of her Parents was only urg'd as an excuse to break with him; a

reasonable Person would have con∣sider'd her as a Renegado from her lawful Husband, and might had some regard to the Protestations made to the vertuous Lady, and the improve∣ment of his Fortune; I doubt not but the Gentleman's reason, which was of the ripest growth, suggested all these considerations to him; but alas, that Ingenuity which shew'd him his er∣rour, plung'd him the deeper in it; the Charms of his Emilia were so heightn'd by his creative fancy, his Wit loooking through the Perspe∣ctive of his Love, shew'd all things so Charming that nothing but Passion could predominate; and certainly the most ingenious Men are the most liable to the Snares of the Fair; whe∣ther it be that their Intellects are more fine, and therefore more adapt∣ed for the reception of the subtile Passion, or being more subject to Vanity, may easily through a sense of their merit be drawn into a belief of

their being belov'd, and consequent∣ly the more easily cheated.

However it was, Peregrine went away the most pleas'd Man alive, and coming to his Club at the Rose, surpris'd the Company with the Ex∣travagancy of his Mirth; no less than Bumpers wou'd go down, and all to his Mistresses health; there was none of the company dispos'd to comply with his humour, but a Captain, who swearing a bloudy Oath that put his Scarlet out of coun∣tenance, declar'd he would Drink for his Mistress as much as Peregrine shou'd for his Guts, and Damme (con∣tinu'd he) I have got the prettiest, kindest creature, and she is newly come to Town; but what is yet stranger, I have not yet enjoy'd her, tho I bave seen her twice. I shou'd think it more strange (said Peregrine) if you ever enjoy her, if she be one that values her Reputation. Zoons (cry'd the Cap∣tain) you loook like an honest Fellow,

and I'll tell you a secret; My Mistress is the prettiest Lady in England, and she Lodges hard by in Bow-street. The whole Company, who knew that Pe∣regrine Courted a Lady in Bow-street, burst out a Laughing, and one of them ask'd the Captain where abouts his Mistress liv'd? About the middle of the Street, (reply'd he) which increas'd the Laughter all about the Table. Here appear'd another Caprice in the humour of our Lover: Peregrine, who just now had forgot and laid by all thoughts of his former Mistress, had his passion renew'd by the ap∣prehension of a Rival, and his Flame like other Fire, meeting with oppo∣sition, began to rage more furiously; he ask'd the Captain what incourag∣ment he had receiv'd, to authorise him to call that Lady Mistress? Only this (said the Captain) that I am be∣lov'd by her above all Men in the World, for which I have her own De∣claration. Peregrine being sensible

how far a Lac'd Coat and Feathers usually work upon the Female Sex, was very uneasy, and calling a Rec∣koning left the Company.

Next Morning he went to Emi∣lia's Lodgings, but 'twas answer'd by the House that she was gone abroad; he repeated his Visit in the After∣noon with no better success; three or four Days he continu'd to wait up∣on her thus, but could never find her at home: The Lady over the way had perceiv'd him to go frequently thither, and hearing that a strange Lady lodg'd there, began to enter∣tain some Jealous thoughts of him, she therefore order'd a Footman to watch him at his next coming, and to tell him that she desir'd to speak with him; the Message was deli∣ver'd accordingly, and he waited on Selinda. Sir (said she) I was afraid that you had mistaken my Lodgings, by your freequent calling at another House so near me, and therefore I sent my

Servant to set you right. He was wa∣ken'd from his sweet Dream of Emi∣lia by so just a charge; but the words of the Captain coming in his Head, Madam (said he) I saw the Sign of a Lac'd Coat hung out at your House, which occasion'd my mistaking it. The Lady desiring him to explain his Ex∣pression, he plainly told her what the Captain said; she assur'd him by ve∣ry convincing reasons, that she knew no such Person, and implicitly hint∣ed to him, that if he were the Lover he pretended, it lay upon him to make the Blockhead beg her Pardon. Peregrine needed no such instigation, for by this it appear'd to him that the Captains words were out of a dull design of affronting him, and vow∣ing Revenge wou'd have immediately gone to have put it in Execution. The Lady dreading the blustring title of Captain, and fearing to Expose Peregrine, whom she really Lov'd, detain'd him, by a pretence of his

Accompanying her to Bartholemew-Fair, whether she design'd to go that Evening to Raffle; he could not de∣cline waiting on her, and suspended therefore his intended resentments. The Lady's Coach was got ready, and they went to the Cloysters, where they Joyn'd in with some very good Company to Raffle, among which was my Lord C— who had a Lady Mask'd with him, and whom he entertain'd with some Respect, yet mix'd with a little Familiarity: The first Piece of small value my Lord won, and presented to his Mask'd Lady; the second, worth Ten pound, Peregrine carried; not so glad for his Success, as Proud to make such a Present to his Mistress; he was turn∣ing towards her to Present it, when the Mask'd Lady with a careless mo∣tion, as if by accident, pull'd off her Vizor, and shew'd him the Charm∣ing Face of his dear Emilia; she imagin'd, obliging him to know

her was Claim sufficient to the China. Gods! how great was Peregrine's surprise! What a strange Dilemma was he brought to! all the rules of civility and good Manners, nay e∣ven gratitude, oblig'd him to give the Present to Selinda whom he had waited on to the Fair, nay, the Com∣pany had already begun to congra∣tulate her success in that of the Gentleman; But Emilia, the charm∣ing Emilia, that held his Heart, de∣tain'd his Hand; he had long since made her a Present of his Soul, and who now cou'd stand in competition with her for any thing else: He ne∣ver had such occasion for his Wits to bring him off, but finding no Ex∣pedient readier, he pretending a Slip let the China fall, and broke it, and feigning a dissatisfaction for the Loss, wou'd throw no more: Both the Ladies were well enough pleas'd, each imagining that he was vex'd upon her score, supposing he intend∣ed

it for her, which he purposely broke, lest he shou'd oblige either by the displeasure of the other.

But Pereg. trouble was not here at an end, he saw his Emilia, who so late∣ly and so lovingly caressed him, en∣tertain'd by a Nobleman, and one of the greatest Gallants in England; but what wou'd have destroy'd ano∣thers affection, only increased his; he took a secret Pride in Rivalling so great a Man, and it confirmed his great opinion of Emilia's beauty, to see her Admir'd by so accom∣plish't a Person and absolute Cour∣tier as my Lord C— These considerations augmenting his Love, increased his Jealousy also, and every little Familiarity that my Lord us'd, heightned his Love to her, and ha∣tred to his Lordship; he Lov'd her for being Admir'd by my Lord, yet hated my Lord for Loving her. He was oblig'd however to wait on Se∣linda home; besides he receiv'd no

great encouragment from Emilia to prompt him to offer his Service, for she had not regarded him one Jot after he broke the China; he went Home strangely distracted, which Selïnda imagining it to proceed from his resentment against the Captain, minded no further than by advising him to desist, telling him that the aspersions of a Fool are never mind∣ed, unless the Person aspersed takes notice of them. He went Home never the more satisfied, and re∣solving to quit himself of one trouble imediatly, he writ the following Note.

SIR,

YOUR words at the Tavern the other night seem purely design'd to af∣front me, since I am now satisfied they cou'd be groun∣ded

on no other Foundation; if you dare repeat them, meet me behind Montague House to morrow Morning at Six, where only I can give you a proper answer,

Yours, Peregrine.

This Letter he gave to a Porter, with orders to deliver it to Cap∣tain— at his Lodgings, or if he were abroad to find him out, and to deliver it into his own Hand.

Peregrine rose early next Morn∣ing and came to the place appointed▪ and walked about full of serious thoughts upon his Adventure, re∣flecting on the many inconveniences contracted by Womens conversation▪ he remembred that the greatest dis∣quiets of his Life had proceeded

from Female causes, and found him∣self that very Moment at the very brink of Destruction, involv'd in an unavoidable Dilemma of falling by the Sword, or dying by the Law, and all upon a Womans score; he found, that had he never Lov'd Wo∣man, he had never hated Man, and had he never owned a Mistress, he had never feared an Enemy. The apprehensions of so many dangers past and to come, occasioned chiefly by his fatal Emilia, began somewhat to alienate his affection, which bac∣ked by his suspicion of her falshood, confirmed him in a resolution of weaning himself for the future from so childish a Passion. He walked thus ruminating above two hours, but no news of the Captain, and he was pretty well pleas'd not to meet his Adversary, being now con∣victed of the unreasonable grounds of his quarrel: Being upon serious reflections convinc'd, that the Cap∣tains

words might have intended some other besides his Mistress, since he did not name Selinda, and that she had assur'd him, she knew no such Man. He left the Field, esta∣blish'd in these Three calm Resolu∣tions, First, for ever to avoid Emi∣lia's company which had been so fatal; Secondly, to beg the Captains par∣don, when he first met him; and Lastly, to promote his Marriage with Selinda as speedily as he could. But here behold the strange weakness of a Lover, his Inclinations must lead him by Emilia's Lodgings as he past homewards, and he gave this excuse to his reason, that he wou'd by that means try the firmness of his resolve, in passing by her Lodgings without looking once at her Window; Walk∣ing therefore down Bow-street, when he was just opposite to the House, his foolish wavering fancy suggested, that there cou'd be no harm in looking up to her Window, since he believ'd

she stood not there; yet to what end shou'd any reasonable Man but a Glasier look at a Window, when he expected no body at it. He ne∣ver the less cast up his Eye, and behold how he was paid for his peep∣ing.

Instead of the dear Casement which he only hoped to see, he discover'd Monsieur the Captain with his for∣midable Lac'd Coat standing out of the Window, and his beloved Emi∣lia standing familiarly by him.

Now for our Sparks Resolutions, reason would have oblig'd him to continue them now stronger, for he had a new instance of Emilia's fals∣hood, and of the truth of the Cap∣tains words, but the sight wrought a clear contrary effect; he found himself now touch'd in the tender∣est part, and the Captains Expres∣sions which he could bear when the Company suppos'd them Ap∣ply'd to Selinda, he could not suffer

now he found them meant of Emi∣lia, Gods (cry'd he out) shall I be outrivali'd by a Fool in the affection of one as Admirable for her sense as for her Beauty; tho the Coward durst not meet me at the place appointed, he will certainly resent an affront in his Mistresses presence, which may af∣ford me revenge of both. Hereupon he comes to the Door, and opening it without any Ceremony, comes madly up, but was met upon the Stairs by Emilia; who running to him, caught him in her tender Arms, saying. My dear Peregrine, how have I long'd to see You? and what have I done to Merit this strangeness of Yours? She went to Kiss him, but he hearing a Person pass down Stairs by him, look'd about, and saw it was only a Porter. O my dearest (conclu∣ded she) I am overjoy'd that you're come so oportunely for my relief; for I have been pester'd these Five or six Days incessantly by my Lord C—

who has sent just now to know if I am at leasure to receive a visit. I suppose Madam (answer'd Peregrine) that you are not at leasure, for you have Company above Stairs. None that shall detain me from entertain∣ing you (replyed she.) Madam, answer∣ed Peregrine, you shall not prevent me from entertaining him by all your Artifices; for by Heavens I'll pull off his Lions Skin, and show the Ass in his own Colours. Who do you mean pray Sir (said she) a Coward in the King's Livery? Madam, your Captain above. A Captain! replied Emilia, ha, ha, ha, I'll behang'd if you have not mistaken my Lord's Footman for an Officer, ha, ha, ha, a very good Jest, poor Peregrine, you have not rub'd the Sleep out of your Eyes this Morning. Truly Madam (said Peregrine) your behaviour makes me doubt that I am Awake. No, no, (replyed she) you are Dreaming, as I shall convince you; and leading

him up into her Chamber, Is this your Captain? Peregrine was strange∣ly amazed to find a very Sheepish Fellow leaning on the Window with a Lac'd Coat on, which he imagin'd the Captains. The occasion of which Metamorphosis was this.

The Porter which Peregrine em∣ployed the Night before to carry the Challenge to the Captain, heard at his Lodgings that the Captain would not be at home till it was late, and the poor Fellow being tir'd with trudging about all Day, and supposing it sufficient to deliver it in the Morning, went home to his Rest, and came accordingly in the Morning, where he was told by the Captains Servant, that his Master lay abroad all Night, but that he had appointed to meet him about two Hours hence at the Black-posts next door to the—in Bow-street. The Porter accordingly went thi∣ther, and found the Captain in Emi∣lia's

Chamber, and had deliver'd him the Note just as Peregrine had look'd up at the Window. At the same instant Emilia spy'd him, and with great surprise cryed out. O Lord; Sir, I am Ruin'd. The Cap∣tain asked what was the matter? O (said she) dear Sir, yonder's my Husband, who has seen you, and if we find not a device to impose upon him, he will Murder me. What shall we do (said the Captain) not all the Stratagems in the Art Military can save us. But I have one Stra∣tagem in the Art of Love shall do, said she; Strip, strip, Sir, imediate∣ly, change Cloaths with the Porter. The Captain very willing to oblige the Lady, obeyed her Commands, and equipp'd the Porter immediately, and puting on the Porters Coat, Frock, and Apron, slunk down Stairs by Peregrine undiscover'd, leaving the gawdy Porter in Emilia's Cham∣ber; which so much occasioned Pe∣regrine's

wonder. He had the de∣monstration of his Eyes that it was the Captain but some Minutes be∣fore, and now by the same Evidence it appears that it is not he. This is all Illusion (said Peregrine in a Con∣sternation.) Illusion! (replyed Emi∣lia) I little thought that Peregrine could have such ill thoughts of Me, as to believe I would entertain an Officer at this Hour in my Chamber. Truly Madam (answered Peregrine) tho Love be blind, I don't think Jea∣lousy is so, and tho Womens Beauty depends on our fancy, their Vertue does not; we rightly can Judge of that, tho not of tother. Sir (said Emilia) you have never received any proofs of my immodesty, tho many of my Love, and I therefore think it both ingratitude and injustice in you to tax my Vertue, which you ought to defend, since you are sensible it has held out even against you whom I so dearly lov'd, and who (I thought)

lov'd me, but I find now too late that I have been mistaken; upon which she burst out in Tears. Go back Sir (said she to the Porter) and tell your Lord that I begin to suspect his designs upon me for vicious; alas, I am unacquain∣ted with the Tricks of this City, and did not imagine that a Nobleman could have any base designs upon a Poor Womans Honour; go quickly to him, I say, and bid him never trouble me again, for he has made me already an unfortunate Woman. With which words she Wept most bitterly. O the bewitching Charms of Woman∣kind, that even their weaknesses should conquer our strongest Re∣solves! how easily is vain Man drawn into a belief of his being belov'd! We take forty Declara∣tions of their indifference or hatred for effects only of their Modesty, but the first confession of their Love we presently Credit; when, alas, their profession of the Latter is often

as false, as of Former: But what can't moving Tears of weeping Beau∣ty melt. Love in gaiety may take, but Love in Mourning only truly wounds. The poor relenting Pere∣grine fell at her Feet, weeping as fast as She.

The servent Lover Sigh'd, and Wept, and Swore, That he wou'd ne're distrust her Vertue more. About her Knees he Cling'd with amorous Bands. And prest his Vows upon her Lips and Hands. She often did her Damon, Faith∣less call, At last with sullen Cooing par∣don'd all. He ravish'd rose, and Claspt the yielding Fair; His bounding Joy sprung higher from Despair.

He Seal'd his Pardon with an end∣less Kiss, If there be Extasy in Love, 'tis this.

Behold how suddenly the Scheme is turn'd, the poor deluded Pere∣grine imagins his Mistress a Lucre∣tia; all his former resolutions are melted in her Bosom, whilst she, innocent creature, murmurs at his unkindness, checking and caressing him at the same time, to shew how easily her Love conquered her re∣sentments. He at last left her, and passing out of the Door, espied the Captain in the Porters Habit stand∣ing at the entrance; he had stay'd there waiting Peregrin's departure, resolving upon that to return to Emilia, and with her to Laugh at the Cuckold, as he imagined him; who had most occasion to Laugh, we shall find presently. Peregrine immediately knew the Frock and Por∣ters

Cloaths, and the Captain being of somewhat a Porterly shape, he made no doubt but it was the same Fellow he had imployed last Night to carry the Challenge to the Cap∣tain, and immediately asked how he had delivered his Message. The Cap∣tain ignorant of the matter, could make no direct answer; which in∣censing Peregrine, Sirrah (said he) resolve me instantly or I'll break your Head, Rascal. The Officer unused to such words, began to mumble some∣thing sawcily. Upon which, with∣out any further ceremony, he raps the poor Captain over the Head and Shoulders very smartly with his Cane. The Captain roar'd out, Bloud and Wounds immediately. Up∣on which Peregrine redoubled his stroaks and liquor'd his Buff most abundantly, till some Gentlemen of Peregrine's acquaintance took him off, and carried him to Wills Coffee∣house. The poor Captain miserably

beaten, was clear off the Laughing pin; and coming up stairs to Emilia, inquir'd for his Cloaths immediately. She answered, she had sent the Porter down stairs to him; but the Porter was no such Fool, for finding him∣self so richly Rigged, he slipt out of the back Door, and was never heard off after. The poor Captain foam'd and chafed outragiously at these abuses, and went to sculk home as speedily as he might, to equip himself in another Suit; he went through all the blind Alleys and Lanes that he could, for fear of meeting any of his acquaintance; out when he got pretty near his Lodgings, it was his bad fortune in one of these by-places to pass by the House where the Porter lived; his Wife accidentally stood at the Door, who knowing her Husbands Cloaths, ••resently laid hold of him, crying ••ut, that the Villain had Murdered ••er Husband and stript him of his

Cloaths; her noise presently raised the Mobb, who flocking about the unfortunate Captain, began to lug and hale him most unsufferably; he cryed out with a Voice loud enough to give the Word of Command, that he was an Officer, a Captain, &c. A mighty Butcher with a swell'd Face of Authority advances, and de∣sires to see his Commission; but that was gone in the Pocket of his em∣broidered Wastcoat. Some disband∣ed Rogue (cryes the Butcher) that's now forced to live by cutting Throats; away with him, away with him before a Magistrate. The poor Captain ran the Gauntlet most wretchedly till he came to the House of Justice M— in Drury-lane, who upon the Oath of the Porters Wife, and some of her creditable Neighbours, drew his Mittimus in order for New∣gate. Worse and worse! what must poor Buff do? he must now disco∣ver himself to his Friends for Bail,

and so be made the Jest of the whole Town; he call'd the Justice aside, and told him the whole story. The Magistrate answered, unless the Porter could be found, that the Law would oblige him to his Tryal at the Old-Bayly, and that he must be bound over to answer at the next Sessions, and accordingly he was so.

Peregrine losing a very good Jest by his ignorance in this affair, goes next Evening to the Play; where meeting some of his ingenious ac∣quaintance, viz. Mr. W— Mr. H— Mr. M— with others of that Club, there arose a discourse concerning the Battel between the Church and the Stage, with relation to the Champions that mantained the parties; the result upon the mat∣ter was this, that Mr. Collier showed to much Malice and rancour for a Church-man, and his Adversaries too little wit; for the Character of Poets, that their faults transversed would

show much better; Dulness being more familiar with those of Mr. Col∣lier's Function, as Malice and ill na∣ture is more adapted to the Professor•• of wit. That the best way of an∣swering Mr. Collier, was not to have replyed at all: for there was so much Fire in his Book, had not his Adver∣saries thrown in Fuel, it would have fed upon it self, and so have gone out in a Blaze. As to his respon∣dents, that Captain Va— wrote too like a Gentleman to be esteemed a good Casuist; that Mr. C—'s pas∣sion in this business had blinded his reason, which had shone so fair in his other Writings; that Mr. S—le wanted the wit of Captain Va—as much as he did Mr. Settle's gravity; That the two Answers to Mr. C— have done his Book too much ho∣nour, but themselves too great an Injury: In short, upon the whole mat∣ter, that whoever gained the Vict∣ory, the Stage must lose by it, be∣ing

so long the seat of the War; And unless Mr. Dryden, or Mr. Wi∣cherly remove the combustion into the Enemies Country, the Theatre must down. And the end of this War will be attended by cashicring the Poets, as the last Peace was by disbanding the Army.

Their discourse continued till the Play began, when Peregrine spying his Mistress Selinda in a front Box, was obliged to leave his Friends to entertain her. This Lady had a great share of Sense, and was migh∣tily pleased with what the Fair Sex call fine things, which, that Play, being the Indian Emperour, was plentifully stored with. Peregrine was so much a Courtier as to Joyn with her in the Applause, but being of a critical humour, he could not forbear making some severe remarks on the Dramma, and inconsistencies of Plots. You Criticks (said Selin∣da) make a mighty sputter about ex∣actness

of Plot, unity of time, place, and I know not what, which I can never find do any Play the least good. (Peregrine smild at her Female ig∣norance.) But she continued, I have one thing to offer in this dispute, which I think sufficient to convince you; I suppose the chief design of Plays is to please the People, and get the Play-House and Poet a Livelyhood. You must pardon me Madam, (replyed Peregrine) Instruction is the business of Plays. Sir (said the Lady) make it the business of the Audience First to be pleas'd with Instruction, aud then I shall allow you it to be the chief end of Plays. But suppose Madam (said he) that I grant what you lay down. Then Sir (answered she) you must allow that what ever Plays most exactly Answer this aforesaid end, are the most exact Plays. Now I can instance you many Plays, as all those by Shakespear and Johnson, and the most of Mr. Dryden's, which you

Criticks quarrel at as irregular, which nevertheless still continue to please the Audience, and are a continual sup∣port to the Theatre; there's very lit∣tle of your Ʋnity of time or place in any of them, yet they never fail to Answer the proposed end very succes∣fully. Besides Sir, I have heard your self say, that Poetry is purely an imi∣tation of Nature; what business then can Art pretend in the affair? O Madam, (Answered Peregrine) this Art is only the improvement or per∣fection of Nature, and is us'd in Poe∣try, as Geometrical Lines in Painting do delineate the peice to an exact Model or Form. Then certainly (re∣plyed the Lady) these rules are ill understood, or our Nature has chang∣ed since they were made; for we find they have no such effects now as they had formerly. For Instance, I am told the (Double Dealer) and, (Plot and no Plot) are two very exact Plays, as you call them, yet all their Ʋnity of

Time, Place, and Action, neither pleased the Audience, nor got the Poets Money. A late Play too call'd (Beauty in Distress) in which the Author, no doubt, sweat as much in confining the whole Play to one Scene, as the Scene-Drawers should were it to be changed a hundred times; this Play had indeed a commendatory Co∣py from Mr. Dryden, but I think he had better have altered the Scene, and pleased the Audience; in short had these Plays been a little more ex∣act, as you call it, they had all been exactly Damn'd. Peregrine would have answered, but a pluck by the Sleeve obliged him to turn from Selinda to entertain a Lady Mask'd, who had given him the Nudg; he presently knew her to be Emilia, who whisperd him in the Ear, I find Sir, what Guyomar said just now is very true,

That Love which first took Root will first Decay, That of a fresher date, will longer stay.

Peregrine, tho surprised, was plea∣sed with her pretty Reprimand, be∣ing delivered without any Anger, but in murmuring complaining Ac∣cents, which never fail to move; insomuch that he could not forbear demonstrating his satisfaction in such Terms and Behaviour, as rendered him remarkable to all about him; he quite forgot Selinda, and his Ar∣gument. And she endeavour'd to forget him by remembring this Acti∣on of his; and tho many slips occa∣sioned by Passion are pardonable, yet when Love causes Offences a∣gainst it self in default of good Man∣ners towards the Fair, 'tis unexcusa∣ble. Had he used Emilia with that freedom and carelesness which Masks generally meet with in the Pit, Se∣linda

would have imagined her fami∣liarity with Peregrine to have only proceeded from a Pert and Impudent Behaviour, which such Creatures use with all Gentlemen; but he used some∣thing of a Fawning and Amorous respect to her, which raised Selinda's Jealousy to the highest pitch. But this was not all the Mischief occa∣sioned by the Interview, for my Lord C— had that very Evening made an Assignation with Emilia at the Play, whether she came early; she beheld Peregrine with Indifference whilst he taulked among his Friends, nor had she the least Motion to dis∣cover her self to him; but spying him addressing a fine Lady in the Box, whom she perceived to enter∣tain him with more then ordinary Civility, she felt a violent Inclina∣tion to interrupt him; She found by the Ladies freedom and gayety in Discourse, that she was fond of Peregrine's conversation, and out of

a pure malicious design would de∣prive her of it; She accomplish'd her design, Peregrine paid her an ex∣traordinary respect, and she return∣ed it with as much civility, purely to raise Selinda's Jealousy, whom she had now remembred to have seen twice with Peregrine; but the Poor Lady was caught in her own Net; for at the Instant of her greatest freedom with Peregrine, my Lord discover'd her. He is the most Jea∣lous Amourist in England, and to one of his temper, he saw enough to raise a distrust of his Mistresses dis∣cretion: Coming close up to her, he Whisperd her, Madam, I am as good as my Appointment, but finding you better employed, I shan't be so rude as to interrupt you. Upon which she presently turn'd from Peregrine to my Lord. Hey, pass, the Tides turned, and poor Peregrine's left upon the Sand; nay the Wind's turn'd too, for looking at Selinda he could see

nothing but Storm and Tempest in her Brow. But he alone was not Shipwrackt, for poor Emilia ran the same fate; for she entertained my Lord with that earnestness, that it ap∣peared how familiar she was still with his Lordship, which gave Peregrine a new proof of her falshood, but was not sufficient to convince my Lord of her Integrity, so that the result upon the transactions of this Evening, was, that Selinda through Jealousy of the Mask'd Lady had discarded Peregrine; He Jealous of my Lord C— had forsaken Emilia; and she by her familiarity with Peregrine is deserted by his Lordship.

But above all, Peregrine's trouble was much the greatest; he had lost the hopes of amending his Fortune by Marrying a vertuous Lady, and one whom he might reasonably sup∣pose Lov'd him, and all through the means of a Person who ungrate∣fully had abused his passion. A re-

on the Weakness of his temper in not sticking to his resolutions, was no small affliction; but above all, the falshood of his Emilia occasioned his distraction; he went to bed, hoping there to find that rest which his waking thoughts denied.

The Nights black Curtain o're the World was spread, And all Mankind lay Emblems of the Dead. A deep and awful silence, void of Light, With dusky Wings sat brooding o're the Night. The rowling Orbs mov'd slow from East to West, With harmony that lull'd the World to rest. The Moon withdrawn, the oozy Flouds lay dead, The very Influence of the Moon was fled.

Some twinkling Sars that through the Clouds did peep, Seeming to Wink as if they want∣ed sleep. All Nature hush'd, as when dis∣solv'd, and laid In silent Chaos e're the World was made. Only the Beating of the Lovers Breast, Made noise enough to keep his Eyes from Rest. His little World, not like the greater, lay, In loudest Tumults of disorder'd Day. His Sun of beauty shone, to light his Breast, With all its various Toyls and La∣bours prest. The Sea of passion in his work∣ing Soul, Rais'd by the Tempest of his sighs did rowl, In towring Floods to overwhelm the whole.

Those Tyrants of the Mind, vain hope and fear, That still by turns usurp an Em∣pire there, Now raising Man on high, then plunging in despair. Thus Daman lies, his grief no rest affords, Till swelling high, it thus burst out in Words. Oh! I cou'd Curse all Woman∣kind but one, And yet my Griefs proceed from her alone. Hell's greatest Curse a Woman, if unkind, Yet Heavens great Blessing, if she Loves, we find. Thus our chief Joys with most al∣lays are Curst, And our best things when once corrupted, worst. But Heaven is just, our selves the Idols fram'd, And are for such vain worship Just∣ly damn'd.

Thus the poor Lover argu'd with his fate, Emilia's charms now did his Love create, That Love replus'd now promp∣ted him to hate. Sometimes his Arms wou'd cross his Bosom rest, Hugging her lovely Image printed in his Breast. Where flattering Painter fancy show'd his art, In charming draughts, his Pencil Cupid's Dart. The shadow drawn so Lively did appear, As made him think the real sub∣stance there. He thought her Naked, soft, and yielding Waste, Within his pressing Arms was folded fast, Nay, in her Charms she really there was plac'd.

Else, how cou'd Pleasure to such Raptures flow, The effect was real, then the Cause was so. What more can most substantial pleasure boast, Than Joy when present, Memory when past? Then bliss is real which the fancy frames, Or those call'd real Joys are only Dreams.

Peregrine once more put on firm resolutions, not only of avoiding Emi∣lia, but the whole Sex; but alas, such designs had been so often bro∣ken and patch'd up, that he could not expect they should last long; he rose fully resolved for the Country that Morning, hoping, that diver∣sity of Company might wear off his trouble occasioned by the City con∣versation. He was just sending to take up a place in the Tunbridge-Coach,

when a Messenger brought him a Letter; which he opening, was surprised to find come from E∣milia; he expected to find it full of Recantations and Excuses for her Fa∣miliarity with my Lord C— and slighting him the Night before at the Play; but before he would ven∣ture to read the Charm, he thought it convenient to say his Prayers in the following Words:

From Wit couch'd in Nonsense, which blinds all that Read, From conjuring Scrawls which like Magick invade, From words spelt as False as the Authors are made, Libera nos, &c.

Then fully resolved to account all the contents as the Voice of a Syren that would destroy him, he Read with great amazement the following Words.

Dear Peregine,

BEing altogether a Stran∣ger in Town, and de∣stitute of Friends, I am com∣pell'd to be troublesom to you, whom I have no reason to believe will desert me in my Necessity; I have urgent occasion for Twenty or Thir∣ty Guineas, which I beg you to send me by the Bearer, and you will infinitely oblige,

Thursday Morning

Yours Emilia.

A very odd turn of affairs, I must confess! and wrought as strange a

turn in the humour of our Lover. He quite forgot all thoughts of her Falshood to deplore her Necessity, and the Scantiness of his own For∣tune that confin'd him from relieving her. A foolish nicety of Honour suggested to him, that if he now for∣sook her, she would attribute his unkindness not to any fault of Hers, but reckon it a poor pretence for evading her Request. Here was an Instance of Female policy, here was a Stratagem to recover a lost Lover, that (I believe) the most intreague∣ing Devil could never suggest to contriving Woman before. She was afraid that his Love was so shocked by her behaviour, that she could not build a Reconciliation upon that; and therefore resolv'd to draw his Honour in, to make up the breach, being conscious that Ingenious Men are as fruitful in discovering Niceties in that, as Beauties in their Mistress, and sometimes as much to their Pre∣judice.

But the depth of her Contri∣vance went yet further, as shall here∣after appear.

Peregrine dismist the Messenger with this Answer, That he would wait on the Lady imediately; and presently after, in his Riding suit, he went to her Lodgings, positively resolved to give her what Money he could spare, then upbraid her for her Falshood, and so take his last farewell. He found her in an Un∣dress sitting on her Beds-feet in a very Melancholy posture; her Night∣gown carelesly loose discovered her Snowy Breast, which Agitated by the violence of her Sighs, heaved and fell with a most Languishing motion; her Eyes were fixt on the Ground, and without regarding Pe∣regrine, she raised her Voice in a Mournful and moving sweetness, sing∣ing, Fool, Fool, that considered not when I was well, concluding which with a deep Sigh, she cast a complain∣ing

Look on Peregrine, intimating that he alone had occasioned her Sor∣rows. He beheld those enticing Beauties, that too well knew the way to his Heart; He beheld the mov∣ing Charms of Female Sorrow, art∣fully express'd in a careless Melan∣choly; and to all this, he heard that tuneful start of Grief which made his ravished Soul strike Unison with the complaining Harmony. Let those who have ever felt the pleasing follies of Love, now guess at our Lovers thoughts. Such will Pardon his weakness, being conscious of the force of so many united Charms. He begged to know the Cause of her great Grief, making all potestations (that Passion could suggest) of using his utmost endeavours in relieving her. Alas Peregrine (answered she) my Misfortunes are many, and all proceeding from so Dear an occasion, that I could wish them to continue, ra∣ther than think the Cause should cease.

In short, (continued she Weeping) my Passion for you has drawn me into a necessity of being troublesom to one whose kindness will perhaps flow from a Principle of Charity, not Love. But Sir, (I scorn to be pitied; and if I can't merit your Esteem, I disdain to be an Object of your Compassion. Madam (replied he) my Charity may extend to share Superfluities, but no less motive then Love could engage me thus to distribute my necessaries. upon which he gave her Ten Guineas, leaving himself but One. Well, my dear Peregrine (says she) I am too sensible of the unhappiness of your Cir∣cumstances, and will therefore Trespass no further upon them: You shall only spare me some of your Love to lay out upon Another, and that shall pay the Ransom for your Money. Peregrine was strangely surprised at her Dis∣course! Be not startled, Sir, (said she) for a Proof of your Affection it

must be so; I have long been Solicited by my Lord C— and have recei∣ved some Presents from Him, and was in a fair way of Commanding what I pleased, had not my unlucky kind∣ness to you at the Play last Night raised his Jealosy to that Degree, that he has forsaken me Now, Sir, since your circumstances debar you from recompencing the loss, I think you are obliged to be Instrumental to Me in recovering his Affection; but do not think (my Dearest) that he can ever destroy your Interest in my Heart, but rather heighten it, being a means to support that Love which the scanti∣ness of your Fortune would Starve. Very reasonable Arguments to make Peregrine a downright Pimp! He was strangely Netled, but being resolv'd to see the Utmost. How Madam (said he) can I be Instrumental in your Re∣conciliation with his Lordship? Only thus (Replied she) you must know

he is wonderfully Charmed with Wit and Writing fine, in a Woman; now I am sensible you have an Excellent Ta∣lent in Epistolary Stile, (which I must still remember since first your Charm∣ing Letters conquered me;) you must therefore write an Ingenious Letter for me, which I will Transcribe, and send to his Lordship, which will In∣fallibly reclaim him. But suppose Madam (said Peregrine) that my Lord discovers the difference of Stile if you Write to him again? No, no (said she) you shall Answer all my Lords Letters for me. Peregrine immediately conceiving, that by this means he should see my Lord C—'s Letters, and thereby discover if the Intreague went any further then he would have it, undertook the Task, and wrote a Letter which wrought the desired effect.

My Lord was already captivated by Emilia's Beauty, but was not

Lover enough to think the Nonsense of a Mistress, Wit; but this Letter, full of Passion and Ingenuity, fir'd him, he found what he so admired in a Lady, there expressed in a great de∣gree, and immediately came to wait upon her.

By this time Peregrine, much con∣fused by the Odness of this Adven∣ture had departed; and Emilia Re∣ceived his Lordship in a contrary Humour to what she had shown to Peregrine, entertaining him with all the gayety and briskness imaginable. My Lord not abating of his Jealous Humour, desired to know whom she entertained so freely at the Play. 'Tis a Creature, my Lord, (replyed she) called a necessary Lover. I have often heard (said he) of a necessary Animal called a Husband, but never of a necessary Lover before. Such, my Lord, (said she) are of the same

use to us, as a Husband to a Wife, to cover all our Faults. They defend our Honours in all Company, being possessed of a good Opinion of our Ver∣tue; which Opinion once Established, we take all care to Improve. Methinks (answered he) your freedom with that Gentleman were enough to destroy that good Opinion, if he entertained any such before. No, my Lord said she) these are the Arts by which we se∣cure them; for granting them all in∣nocent Freedoms and Incouragment without the least Favour, makes them set a favourable construction upon such our Behaviour with others, and indu∣ces them to believe all Stories prejudi∣cial to our Reputation rather the effects of Mens Vanity, than our kindness: Besides, being once drawn into a be∣liefe of their being beloved by us, their Vanity suggests, that since we are Vertuous in respect of them, we must certainly be so in regard of those that

are more indifferent to us. But that Gentleman, (Answered my Lord) if I am not Misinformed in his Char∣racter, has too much Sense to be made such a Tool of. Only Ingenious Men (answered she) are fit for our purpose, because such Persons are only able to Nourish a Passion without Enjoyment; Secondly, being conscious of their Me∣rit they imagine our Love very real because of the worthiness of the Object; And Lastly, being the O∣racles of the Age, their words are taken among their Friends, and our Reputation thus Establish'd. My Lord C—was Amazed at this open Confession of cunning, which he had never discovered in the Sex before; and lest she should make the same Fool of him, he pressed hard for a Proof of the contrary, which I believe she granted, for he continued his Visits with great Assi∣duity.

Peregrine all this while continued to Serve her with his Pen, and was very fond of Answering my Lords Letters, because he found them very Witty and Passionate; and having a good memory at retaining what pleased him, he generally by once or twice perusing, cou'd remember them, verbatim; and constantly when he left Emilia, would write them down, together with the Answers very distinctly, with which he used to divert himself very often; for he found so much respect in all my Lords Letters, that he could not suppose his Lordship had made any Advances beyond him. But Emilia had forewarned my Lord of making the least mention of any her Favours, lest the Letter might Miscarry, and fall into Hands that might Publish her shame. By which Artifice se∣cur'd, she continued her ingenious Correspondence with my Lord, which

more and more engaged his Affecti∣ons, without giving Peregrine any resonable grounds of Jealosy. He often pressed for a Consummation of his Happiness; but she sticking to her Principles, tantalized him with Caresses and Protestations of her Love, and never wanted a Pretence for delay, until unfortunately she lost Him and her Self on the following Occasion.

One Morning three or four Gen∣tlemen of the Law, Peregrine's Ac∣quaintance, came running into his Chamber, and asked him to accom∣pany them to the Old-Baily to hear the Tryal. What Tryal (answered he? Why, the famous Tryal of Cap∣tain—who is Arraigned for Mur∣thering a Porter. This was News to him, and he went with them. The Indictment was Read, and the Tryal come on before they reach'd

the Court; Peregrine was strangely surpris'd to hear Emilia's Voice at the Bar, and distrusting the truth of his Ears, cou'd not be satisfied till he saw her; She was Summon'd as a Wit∣ness for the Captain, where upon her Oath she was forced to declare how she made the Captain change Cloaths with the Porter in her Chamber, how she sent him down Stairs in the Porters Habit, and how the Porter had gone off with His; in short, the whole Story, with all the Circumstances of the Intreague, was discovered before the whole Court, and in Peregrine's hearing; who now fully Convicted of the Treachery of his Mistress by her own Oath, has once more put on firm Resolutions of ever forsaking her; and that he may draw my Lord C— out of the same Errour, he has given a Copy of all my Lords Letter's and their Answers to a Friend of his, who

immediately designs to publish a Col∣lection of Letters, where his Lord∣ship may read his own Wit, and the Falshood of Emilia.

FINIS.