The rivall friends A comœdie, as it was acted before the King and Queens Maiesties, when out of their princely favour they were pleased to visite their Vniversitie of Cambridge, upon the 19. day of March. 1631. Cryed downe by boyes, faction, envie, and confident ignorance, approv'd by the judicious, and now exposed to the publique censure, by the author, Pet. Hausted Mr. in Artes of Queenes Colledge.
Hausted, Peter, d. 1645.
ACT. 1. SCEN. 7.
Liuely. His boy. 6 Suiters to Mistris Vrsely.
Liu.
I, I, loue on, ha, ha, he, and see what yee will get
By that at last, I'le loue my sefe, my selfe, ha, ha, he,
This day old Liuely thou art iust fourescore,
Quickly some Sack, I haue not yet baptized
Mine eyes this morning as I vse to doe.
Why boy? ha, ha. I am as lusty now,
As full of actiue spirits, as when I wore
But twenty on my back, ha ha, he, this laughing
Surely's restoratiue aboue your gold,
Or all your dearer drugges. The very thought
How quaintly I shall gull my expecting Schollers
My Neophytes that gape to heare the newes
When I shall nod into the graue, does adde
Such vigour to me, that I doe not feele
Not feele the ground I stand vpon. * But see
More Suiters still — * Now they begin to flock.
Arth. Arm.
Sir if I may aduise you wade no farther
Into this businesse, but desist; I haue
A promise (I'le assure you) from the Iustice.
Zealous Kn.
Sir I may vse the same words vnto you
I haue a promise too, but yesterday
My Father did present him with a horse
Of Robin-red-breast's getting — * by your leaue.
Art. Ar.
Nay Sir come on, if you be good at that.—
Liu.
You haue a promise. God-a-mercy horse. ha, ha, he.
These and some dozen more doe dayly haunt
This Cormorants house, and all (good men) pretend
It is pure loue vnto his crooked daughter
That drawes them thither, when there's not one of 'em
That would vouchsafe her a looke, nay hardly a thought
Vnlesse it were for to contemne her; but
An impropriate Parsonage which th' well giuen Matrons
Haue rescued from the Laitie, and returnes
After my death vnto the Church, which liuing
The Iustice here has sold them, but reseruing
The first donation for himselfe, with which
He intends to put his foolish daughter off.
'Twas once my brothers land, but this same Hooke
By a golden bayte did pluck it from him: well,
It is no matter, I haue my life in it. Ha, ha, he.
But I will cheate them all, will cozen them.
Enter Boy with a glasse of Sack.
Why Boy.
Boy.
Here Sir.
Liu.
Well said my hony, well said.
Oh how it smiles vpon mee! (hum hum) giue it mee
This is mine Antidote 'gainst the Sithe of time.
He that desires to liue, let him doe thus —
Hee drinkes.
Drinke Sack i'th morning. Boy, another cup.
How now? another? see how he prunes himselfe.
Enter Stutch.
Stutch.
Boy, there's a teston for you, see you looke
Well to my Nagge — I must be generous now.
But let me see, I will accost him thus.
Sir if it please your worship — (it must be so)
These Country Iustices doe loue a life
For to be worshipped at euery word,
I come now from my Lady.
Liu.
(And you may
Returne againe vnto her Ladiship
And tell her that old Liuely is not yet
Intended for to dye.
Stutch.
And doe desire
That as you shall approue of my good parts—
Well 't will doe — now I will knock —
But I will open and enter, 'tis a Solaecismo
For to be modest in such businesses.
The Boy with another glasse of Sack.
Liu.
Well done my Squire o'th bottles, stand you there.
Sir I doe come now from my Lady, ha, ha, he,
And doe desire, that as you shall approue
Of my good parts— ha, ha, he —
He drinkes.
Well take the glasse, and get you home, hum, hum, hum.
Hug.
If I can winne the Girle, I'le find a trick
Enter Hugo Obligation.
For to dispatch old Liuely presently
Page [unnumbered]And with much ease; a peice of bread and a pinne
Will doe the cure, or else an honest burre
Lapt vp in butter.
Liu.
Here's a precious rogue,
Oh it is Hugo Obligation
The precise Scriuener, that these three yeares space
Has laboured for orders, this same villaine
Sure is the likeliest man to carry her—
Hugo.
But see where Liuely stands, Ile not be seene.
Exit.
Liu.
Being one whom he does vse in all his Couenants.
But I'le out liue them all, the Knaues. Ile now
Goe tast a bowle of pure refined ayre
Vpon yond hill.
Exit.
