For where is he that writes himself Man,
That ever saw Beauty in Betty or Nan,
But his Eyes turn'd Pimp, and his Heart trapan?
Which no body, &c.
I fain would know one of Adam's Race,
Tho' ne're so holy a Brother of Grace,
If he met a loose Sister, but he wou'd embrace;
Which no body, &c.
What should we talk of Philosophers old,
Whose Desires were hot, tho' their Nature's cold,
But in this kind of Pleasure they commonly roul'd;
Which no body, &c.
First Aristotle, that jolly old fellow,
Wrote much of Venus, but little of Bellow,
Which shew'd, he lov'd a Wench that was mellow;
Which no body, &c.
From whence do you think he derived his Study,
Produc'd all his Problems, a Subject so muddy?
'Twas playing with her — at Cuddle my Cuddy;
Which no body, &c.
The next in order, is Socrates grave,
Who triumph'd in Learning and Knowledge, yet gave
His Heart to Aspacia, and became her Slave;
Which no body, &c.
Demosthenes to Corinth he took a Voyage,
We shall scarce know the like on't, in thy Age, or my Age,
And all was for a Modicum Pyage;
Which no body, &c.
The Proverb in him a whit did not fail,
For he had those things which make Men prevail,
A Sweet Tooth, and a Liquorice Tayl;
Which no body, &c.
Lycurgus and Solon was both Law-makers,
And no Men I'm sure are such wiseacres,
To think that themselves would not be partakers;
Which no body, &c.
An Edict they made with Approbation,
If the Husband found fault with his Wives consolation,
He might take another for Procreation;
Which no body, &c.
If, the Wife found coming in short,
The same Law did right her upon her Report,
Whereby you may know, they were Lovers o'th' Sport;
Which no body, &c.
And now let us view the State of a King,
Who is thought to have the World in a String,
By a Woman is captivated; poor thing!
Which no body, &c.
Alexander the Great, who conquered all,
And wept because the World was so small,
In the Queen of the Amazon's Pit did fall;
Which no body, &c.
Antonius and Nero, and Caligula,
Were Rome's Tormenters by night and by day,
Yet Women beat them at their own Play;
Which no body, &c.