The history of popery, or, Pacquet of advice from Rome the fourth volume containing the lives of eighteen popes and the most remarkable occurrences in the church, for near one hundred and fifty years, viz. from the beginning of Wickliff's preaching, to the first appearance of Martin Luther, intermixt with several large polemical discourses, as whether the present Church of Rome be to be accounted a Church of Christ, whether any Protestant may be present at Mass and other important subjects : together with continued courants, or innocent reflections weekly on the distempers of the times.

The Weekly Pacquet OF Advice from Rome: OR, The History of POPERY. (Book 33)

The Fourth Volume. FRIDAY, August 4. 1682. (Book 33)

Monstra, non Homines pagina nostra refert.

The wicked Lives of Pope Paul the II. a profest enemy of Learning, and Sixtus the IV. who granted a License for Sodomy; the story of Pope Innocent the VIII. and his Sixteen Bastards.

OUR last acquainted you with a pretty tolerable Pope, a man of sense and Letters, and only tainted with Pride and Covetousness and a few such ordinary Vices, but we now come to Brutes and Monsters, hardly to be matcht by the Nero's and Caligula's or any the like prodigies of the Heathen World.

Pope Pius the 2d. intent upon an expedition against the Turks, dyed at Ancona in the year 1464. And is honour'd with this Epitaph.

Frigida membra Pii retinet lapis iste loquacis, Qui pacem moriens attulit Italiae; Vendiderat pretio Gentes, & Crimina multa, Virtutis specie gesserat ille Pius.

Here the cold Bones of tattling Pius ly, Who by his Death brought Peace to Italy; Nations he sold, and many Crimes did act, But mask'd with seeming vertue each lewd Fact.

Peter Barbs a Venetian succeeds, by the name of Paul the second, one of the most pevish fancifull fools, that we shall meet with in any History. One of his first exploits was to abolish all the Abbreviators, to whom Pope Pius his predecessor had sold those places, without returning any of their Mony. What these Gentlemens Office was, I am not wise enough to acquaint you, but it appears to be both of Honour and profit, else they would never have stickled so much about it. His pretended reason for putting them down was Ignorance, when in truth they were the Learnedest men Pius could get together from most parts of the World, and Platina who writes the Lives of the Popes hitherto, was one of them, a person no way contemptible for parts, as the size of Learning went in those times. When some of these discarded Officers, petition'd him to refer their Cause to the hearing of the Auditors of the Rota, (a certain Court of Judica∣ture in Rome) and Platina spoke for all the rest; this haughty Pope return'd this swaggering Answer—What dost talk to us of Judges? dost thou not know that all Laws are lodg'd within the Closet of our Breast (Ita nos, inquit, ad Judices revocas, ac si nescireo omnia Jura in scrinio pectoris nostri collocata esse?) This is our sentence, let them all be packing, I regard them not, I am Pope and it is lawfull for me to disannull or approve the Acts of others at my own pleasure. And because Platina, not satisfied with this Answer, wrot him a Letter about the same affair, he accused him of Libelling and Treason, which Treason was that he had ••alkt of Appealing from his Holiness to a General Council; upon this poor Platina was Jail'd for four Months, and not long after taken up again upon a Sham plot, and put upon the Rack with several others, of whom diverse, being persons of good quality, whom he names in his History, dyed of their Tortures; and when it appeared there was no such Conspiracy, as the Pope had fancied, yet they were long kept in durance, least, forsooth, he should seem to have Committed them at first without cause; and when other accusations fail'd, he accused them of Heresy for

disputing of the Immortality of the Soul out of Plato, whom, yet, (as Platina truly observes,) St. Austin affirms to come nearest therein to the opinion of a Christian; and to compleat his ridi∣culous folly, he very gravely pronounced, all those to be Hereticks that should either in jest or earnest make mention of the name of an Academy. This will not appear strange, when you consider what the same Author relates, that this Pope hated Learning, and had such a spight against the Studies of Humanity, that he called all that follow'd them, Hereticks; and for that reason, exhorted the Citizens of Rome not to suffer their Sons to be any longer at the Stu∣dies of Learning, for that it was sufficient if they had learned to write and read, and therefore Genebrard fitly calls him, Hostis Virtutis & doctrinae, the enemy of virtue and Learning. The most memora∣ble things that he did for the good of the Church, was that he bought up at any rate all the extraordinary pretious stones he could hear of, to make the Papal Mitre more gay and glorious, for he took much delight to be gaz'd at and admired in that Bravery; likewise he decreed that none should wear Scarlet Caps but Cardinals, and in the first year of his Popedome he gave them Cloth of the same Colour wherewith to cover their Horses and Mules when they rode; that the Apostatized Church might even litterally resemble that Whore described to us in the Revelations. In the year 1465▪ the Cardinal of Laurence dying, who was exceeding rich, by the Popes consent bequeath'd his Estate to his two Brothers, called Scaranupi, but no sooner was he dead, but the Pope seized on the Legatees and kept them in Prison till they surrendred the Estate to his disposal, and so got those riches which (saith Platina) the late owner would rather had fallen to the Turks than him, as being one that he hated and always had quarrels with. Another of his excellencies, was that he had appointed publick Races all the Lent, and propos'd Prises to those that won, every day, so that there ran old men, young men, and Children, Christians and Jews, nay they ran with Horses and Mares and Asses and some upon Cows, with such di∣version to the Company that they could scarce stand for Laugh∣ing, Ʋnde pontifex ipse solidam voluptatem percipiebat, from which his Holiness himself did take solid displeasure. Excellent sport for Christs Vicar! He was a great Epicure, and if store of Belly-Timber were not brought him, would roar and cry out like mad; he would drink too like a Fish, and when he went abroad 'tis

reported he used to paint his face, as Wenches do. He Excomu∣nicated George King of Bohemia for being infected with the Heresy of John Hus, and deprived him of his Kingdome, which he liberally bestow'd upon Matthew King of Hungaria. In the 7th year of his Popedome he dyed suddainly some say of an Apoplexy, but G••sper Pencerus affirms that he was strangled by the Divel in the very act of uncleaness; this is certain he was a great Whoremaster, and was publickly known to have one Bastard, whence John Pannonius a Bishop of those times made this Epigram on him.

Pontificis Pauli testes ne Roma requir as Filia quam genuit, sat docet esse Marem. Pope Paulus a male, Rome need no further trial, His Bastard Daughter makes it no denyal.

To fill his Coffers he decreed that the Jubilee should be brought down from 50 years and Celebrated every 25 years (and so it is observ'd to this day) by which means it would come in the year 1475. whence he promis'd himself abundance of money, but like the rich fool in the Gospel he was cut off be∣fore that time, dying as you have heard Anno 1471. and here Platina's History de Vitis Pontificum concludes.

The next Pope was F••ancis de Rovere a Savoyard, General of the Franciscans, who would be called Sixtus the 4th, he created two Cardinal••, Peter Riere whom he had brought up from a Child with his Brother Jeronimo, and Julian his Brothers Son (who was afterwards Pope Julius the second) this Peter (who was supposed to be his own Bastard) he so prodigally enricht, that he seem'd born for nothing but to spend money, for in those two years that he liv'd a Cardinal he consumed Two Hundred Thou∣sand Crowns in his ordinary Household Expence, and Dyed Forty Thousand Crowns in debt, being himself wasted and con∣sumed with debauchery; touching this Pope himself, hear what a Character Agrippa a Roman Catholick gives of him and his d••∣ings in his Vanity of Sciences, cap. 64. Amongst all the Pimps or Bauds of thse latter tim••s there was none more famous than Pope Sixtus the IV. who built at Rome a goodly Brothel-house or publick Stews, wherein according to the example of Heliogabalus he kept multitudes of Buxome Strumpets wherewith he furnished his friends and followers, gathering by this Whorish merchandize no small ad∣vantage to his Treasury, for these priviledg'd Court••sans at Rome

did weekly pay every one a Julio to the Pope, which yearly Re∣venue amounts many times to the sum of Twenty Thousand Ducates, and in such request is that Office with the prime Grandees of the Church, that the Rents of the Bawds are cast up together with the Patrimony of the Church, for thus have I myself heard them casting up their accounts (what Revenue or preferment such a man had) he hath two Benefices, one Cure of Twenty Ducates, a Priory of Forty Ducates and three Whores in the Bawdy-house [that is, he is to receive their Rent.] Thus far Agrippa. Think you not now that the Church of Rome may most properly in all senses be called a Whore and mother of Fornications? But though this were a prodigious peice of Impudence, yet this Incarnate Divel of a Pope proceeded to greater Abominations, for Wesellus of Gro∣ningen, who lived in the time of this Sixtus, and being a man famous in those days for his knowledg in the three Larned Lan∣guages, was thence commonly called Lux Mundi the Light of the World, in his book of Papal Indulgenses, ass••res us, that this Pope Sixtus at the request of the before mentioned Peter Riere (whom he had made Cardinal of St. Sixtus and Patriarch of Con∣stantinople) and of Jeronimo his own Brother, and of the Cardi∣nal of St. Luce (who had the chief place belonging to Hunting under Paul the second) permitted unto them and ever of them Sodomy during the three hottest months of the year viz. June, July and August, with this Clause Fiat ut petitur, let it be done as it is desired. yet this good Father wrot Book•• of the Conception of the Virgin Mary, and Authorized that execrable blasphemous book of Alamus de Rupe a German and Domini••an Frier intituled Compendium Psalterii Mariani, wherein all that the Prophet David says of and to the Lord is attributed unto the Virgin Mary; he also instituted a new Society of the Rosary, for the Credit where∣of James Sp••engerus Provincial of Germany, devised a book of certain Miracles (which Sixtus approved and defended with his Bulls and Indullgences) wherein we read—That the Virgin Mary entering into the Cell or Chamber of this Alani, the doors being l••k••, and having woven some of her hair into a Ring, married her self therewith unto him, offering her self unto him to be kissed and her Breasts to be handled and sucked in as familiar manner as a Wife to her Husband, with many other accursed Bl••sphemous lies, by which we may with amazement consider into what a bottom∣less pit of Impiety the superstitious minds of the common people

wereby these lew'd Atheists overwhelm'd! the only commen∣dable thing this Pope did that we can here of, was that he erected the Palatine Library in the Vatican, and assign'd a Re∣venue thereunto to maintain the Officers belonging to it; he was Pope 13 years and dyed in the year 1484. To him is at∣tributed the Invention of Beads, for the counting of Prayers, because he ordered those of the Society of the Rosary so to do, that they might know when they had done their Task; of which Mantuan takes notice.

Hi filo insertis numerant sua Murmura Baccis. Their murmering Pray'rs they count with Beads on strings

Touching the Religion of this Pope, 'tis thus expressed in an Epitaph made for him by Johnanes Sapidus.

Riserat ut vivens Caelestia Numina Sixtus, Sic moriens nullus Credidit esse Deas. As Sixtus when he liv'd mockt God, so he Even at his death believ'd no God to be.

Then came Innocent the 8th of the Family of Cibo, originally a poor boy brought up with the Servants of the King of Sicily, but being for his extraordinary Beauty preferr'd to the Cardinal of Bononia (you that are acquainted with Italy and the man∣ners of the Scarlet Princes may guess for what purpose) he soon got advancement. He was the first of all the Popes that publickly made his boasts of his Bastards, and indeed he had some reason being very plentifully stock't that way, for before he came to the Chair he had no less than 16 Bastards, eight boys, and as many Daughters, how many more he had afterwards we find not. But there was but two of them alive when he was made Pope; of whom Onuphrius gives this Account, that his Son Francis and his Daughter Theodirina, his Bastards, were by him Enriched beyond measure, he distributing and squandring away vast summs of mony got by Indulgences in pretence of an Expedition against the Turks amongst those Brats and other of his Relations.

The COURANT.

Parque referre pari licuit, sempérque licebit.

Truem.

HAve you been to Congratulate the Captain?

Tory.

Who? Captain Confirmation? no, I have had no leasure to be drunk to day; but I'm the Son of a Whigg, if he be not a rare man; Montecuculi and Turenne were but Ratcatchers to him for Leading up with a Huzza! and cut∣off the Rear with Bar-shot!

Truem.

I pray do any of the Antients that wrot the Tacktiks, or the Art Military, make the discipline of the Tap a qualification absolutely necessary in a Commander?

Tory.

No, hang 'um, dull fools! they did not understand it, but where drink's the only valour, why should not a Hogshead have the Conduct? and then how gallantly and magnificently it sounds, Brave Captain—Fill us two Pipes? Noble Captain—fetch me up a Piss-pot. Nor is Five pound a night for keeping in awe Legal Riots and quelling peaceable seditions, and many a Bottle called for by the by to attone the sin of defaulting, a thing to be slighted, and therefore no wonder if there have, since the me∣mory of man, been mighty strivings amongst the formidable Gyants of Blew Apronland for martial preferment.

Truem.

Which puts me in mind of an old story in our Coun∣try (though nothing to this purpose) of a Woman that had four or five Children, and a Bitch that happen'd to encrease the World with as many Whelps, strait the little Brats (being you must know in Hobb's state of nature) began to catch for propriety, Dick said—This shall be mine; and Tom said—This shall be mine, and each made sure of one; then says Tom, my Puppies name shall be Captain, no, quoth Dick, mine shall be Captain, and so said they all; and in short fell to Loggerheads about the point, the Mother hearing them screaming and crying, one with a Bloody Nose and 'tother with a torn Muckender, came in to part the fray; to whom with many a bitter sob, they relate the occa∣sion of their quarrel; whereupon like a discreet Matron, be quiet, be quiet, quoth she, you bawling Bastards, all the Puppies

shall be Captains; and so the Controversy ended.

Tory.

Well! but what's the New's abroad?

Truem.

They talk of more and more Plots still.

Tory.

As how prethee?

Truem.

Why, they say, there is so many Popish Priests and Jesuits come over (but for no harm I••le warrant you) that they can't all get work, therefore what do half a dozen of the cun∣ning'st Rogues in the bunch but to get elbow room subtilly give out with great Confidence, that there are Warrants out against Father such an one and Father such an one, and by these Arts have frighted away many of their Brethren into the Country, and now monoplize the whole Imployment of Mass-mumbling and Whore-shrifting to themselves.

Tory.

A pretty stratagem! but we have a Plot going on too.

Truem.

Prethee what's that?

Tory.

To Indict all the Whiggs in England for a Riot at Guild-Hall on Midsummer-day.

Truem.

That's fine! but how can it be done with any handsome Colour?

Tory

Let us alone for Cloth and Colour too, the way is found out and discover'd by a notable paty Old Tory that lives to the South of St Pauls, who being on Tuesday last in Aldersgate-street and talking of those businesses, some of the Company alledged, that one that he knew of those now prosecuted in the Crown-Office, was diverse miles of in the Country that day; no matter for that, no matter for that, quoth this Sir politick Nestor, the proceeding is just, all over according to Law for all that, for his heart was with them, and that makes him as guilty of the Riot as the Sheriffs themselves.

Truem.

'Twas an Ingenious explanation, but I must take leave for I am for Tunbridge to night.

Tory.

Then pray present my service to our friend, Mr. Com∣mon Simpleton! and desire him to drink less Water and more Wine next week, upon my life his Heraclitus will be fit for nothing in the world but to send down thither for service in the Back∣walks.

Printed for Langley Curtis, 1682.