A pleasant conceited comedie called, Loues labors lost As it vvas presented before her Highnes this last Christmas. Newly corrected and augmented by W. Shakespere.
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- Title
- A pleasant conceited comedie called, Loues labors lost As it vvas presented before her Highnes this last Christmas. Newly corrected and augmented by W. Shakespere.
- Author
- Shakespeare, William, 1564-1616.
- Publication
- Imprinted at London :: By W[illiam] W[hite] for Cutbert Burby,
- 1598.
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"A pleasant conceited comedie called, Loues labors lost As it vvas presented before her Highnes this last Christmas. Newly corrected and augmented by W. Shakespere." In the digital collection Early English Books Online. https://name.umdl.umich.edu/A68726.0001.001. University of Michigan Library Digital Collections. Accessed May 31, 2025.
Pages
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Your othe is past, to passe away from these.
You swore to that Berowne, and to the rest.
Why that to know which else we should not know.
Things hid & ••ard (you meane) from cammon sense.
I, that is studies god-like recompence.
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How well hees read to reason against reading.
Proceeded well, to stop all good proceeding.
He weedes the corne & still lets grow the weeding.
The Spring is neare when greene geese are a bree∣ding.
How followes that?
Fit in his place and tyme.
In reason nothing.
Something then in rime.
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Well, sit you out: go home Berowne: adue.
How well this yeelding rescewes thee from shame.
Item, That no woman shall come within a myle of my Court. Hath this bin proclaymed?
Foure dayes ago.
Marrie that did I.
Sweete Lord and why?
What say you Lordes? why, this was quite forgot.
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Which is the Dukes owne person?
This fellow, What would'st?
I my selfe reprehend his owne person, for I am his graces Farborough: But I would see his owne person in flesh and blood.
This is he.
Sir the Contempls thereof are as touching me.
A letter from the magnifisent Armado.
How low so euer the matter, I hope in God for high word••••▪
A high hope for a low heauen God grant vs patience
To heare, or forbeare hearing▪
To heare meekely sir, and to laugh moderatly, or to forbeare both.
Well sir, be it as the stile shall giue vs cause to clime in the merrines.
In what manner?
In manner and forme folowing sir all those three. I was seene with her in the Manner house, sitting with he•• vppon the Forme, and taken following her into the Park••r which put togeather, is in manner and forme following. Now sir for the manner, It is the manner of a man to spe••ke to a woman, for the forme in some forme.
For the following sir.
As it shall follow in my correction, and God defend the right.
Will you heare this Letter with attention?
As we would heare an Oracle.
Such is the sinplicitie of man to harken after the flesh▪
GReat Deputie the welkis Vizgerent, and sole dominatur of Nauar, my soules earthes God, and bodies fostring patrone:
Not a word•• of Costard yet.
So it is
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It may be so: but if he say it is so, he is in telling true: but so.
Peace.
Be to me, and euerie man that dares not fight.
No wordes.
Of other mens secrets I beseech you.
So it is besedged with sable coloured melancholie, I did commende the blacke oppressing humour to the most holsome phisicke of thy health-geuing ayre: And as I am a Gentleman, betooke my selfe to walke: the time When? about the sixt houre, When Beastes most grase, Birdes best peck▪ and Men sit downe to that nourishment which is called Supper: So much for the time When. Now for the ground Which? which I meane I walkt vpon, it is ycliped Thy Park. Then for the place Where? where I meane, I did incounter that ob∣scene & most propostrous euent that draweth frō my snowhite pen the ebon coloured Incke, which here thou viewest, beholdest, suruayest, or seest. But to the place Where? It standeth North North-east & by East from the West corner of thy curious knotted garden; There did I see that low spirited Swaine, that base Minow of thy myrth, (Clowne. Mee?) that vnlettered smal knowing soule, (Clow. Mee?) that shallow vassall (Clown. Still mee.) which as I remember, hight Costard, (Clow. O mee) sorted and consorted contrary to thy established proclaymed Edict and continen•• Cannon: Which with, ô with, but with this I passion to say wherewith:
With a Wench.
With a childe of our Grandmother Eue, a female; or for thy more sweete vnderstanding a Woman: him, I (as my euer esteemed duetie prickes me on) haue sent to thee, to receiue the m••••••e of pu∣nishment by thy sweete Graces Gfficer Anthonie Dull, a man of good reput, carriage b••aring, and estimation.
Me ant shall please you? I am Anthony Dull.
For Iaquenetta (so is the weaker vessell called) vvhich I apprehended vvith the aforesayd Svvaine, I keepe h••r as a vessell of thy Lavves furie, and shall at the least of thy svveete notice, bring h••r to tryall. Thine in all complements of deuoted and hartburning heate of duetie.
Don Adriano de Armado.
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Which the base vulgar do call three.
True.
Why sir is this such a peece of studie? Now heere is three studied ere yele thrice wincke: and how easie it is to put yeeres to the worde three, and studie three yeeres in two wordes, the dauncing Horse will tell you.
A most fine Figure.
To proue you a Cypher.
I will hereupon confesse I am in loue: and as it is base for a Souldier to loue; so am I in loue with a base wench. If drawing my Sword against the humor of affection, would deliuer me from the reprobate thought of it, I would take Desire prisoner, and ransome him to anie French Courtier for a new deuisde cu••sie. I thinke scorne to sigh, mee thinks I should outsweare Cupid. Comfort mee Boy, What great men haue bin in loue?
Hercules Maister.
Most sweete Hercules: more authoritie deare Boy, name more; and sweete my childe let them be men of good repute and carriage.
Sampson Maister, he was a man of good carriage, great carriage: for he carried the Towne-gates on his backe like a Porter: and he was in loue.
O wel knit Sampson, strong ioynted Sampson; I do excel thee in my rapier, as much as thou didst me in carying gates. I am in loue too. Who was Sampsons loue my deare Moth?
A Woman, Maister.
Of what complexion?
Of all the foure, or the three, or the two, or one of the foure.
Tell me precisely of what complexion?
Of the sea-water Greene sir.
Is that one of the foure complexions?
As I haue read sir, and the best of them too.
Greene in deede is the colour of Louers: but to haue a loue of that colour, mee thinkes Sampson had small reason for it. He surely affected her for her wit.
It was so sir▪ for she had a greene wit.
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My loue is most immaculate white and red.
Most maculate thoughts Maister, are maskt vnder such colours.
Define, define, well educated infant.
My fathers wit, and my mothers tongue assist me.
Sweet inuocation of a child, most pretty & pathetical.
Is there not a Ballet Boy, of the King & the Begger?
The worlde was very guiltie of such a Ballet some three ages since, but I thinke now tis not to be found: or if it were, it would neither serue for the writing, nor the tune.
I will haue that subiect newly writ ore, that I may example my digression by some mightie presedent. Boy, I do loue, that Countrey girle that I tooke in the Parke with the rational hinde Costard: she deserues well.
To be whipt: and yet a better loue then my maister.
Sing Boy, My spirit growes heauie in loue.
And thats great maruaile, louing a light Wench.
I say sing.
Forbeare till this companie be past.
Sir, the Dukes pleasure is that you keepe Costard safe, and you must suffer him to take no delight, nor no pe∣nance, but a'must fast three dayes a weeke: for this Damsell I must keepe her at the Parke, she is alowde for the Day womand. Fare you well.
I do betray my selfe with blushing: Maide.
M••n.
I will visit thee at the Lodge.
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Thats hereby.
I know where it is situate.
Lord how wise you are.
I will tell thee wonders.
With that face.
I loue thee.
So I heard you say.
And so farewell.
Faire weather after you.
Come Iaquenetta, away.
Villaine, thou shalt fast for thy offences ere thou be pardoned.
Well sir I hope when I do it, I shall do it on a full stomacke.
Thou shalt be heauely punished.
I am more bound to you then your fellowes, for they are but lightly rewarded.
Take away this villaine, shut him vp.
Come you transgressing slaue, away.
Let me not be pent vp sir, I will fast being loose.
No sir, that were fast and loose: thou shalt to prison.
Well, if euer I do see the merry dayes of desolation that I haue seene, some shall see.
What shall some see?
Nay nothing M. Moth, but what they looke vppon. It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their wordes, and therfore I will say nothing: I thanke God I haue as litle pa∣tience as an other man, & therfore I can be quiet.
I do affect the verie ground (which is base) where her shoo (which is baser) guided by her foote (which is basest) doth tread. I shall be forsworne (which is a great argument of falsehood) if I loue. And how can that be true loue, which is falsely attempted? Loue is a familiar; Loue is a Diuell. There is no euill angel but Loue, yet was Sampson so temp∣ted, and he had an excellent strength: Yet was Salomon so seduced, and he had a very good wit. Cupids But shaft is too hard for Hercules Clubb, and therefore too much oddes for a Spaniards Rapier: The first and second cause will not serue
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my turne: the Passado he respects not, the Duella he regards not; his disgrace is to be called Boy, but his glorie is to sub∣due men. Adue Valoure, rust Rapier, be still Drum, for your manager is in loue; yea he loueth. Assist me some extempo∣rall God of Rime, for I am sure I shall turne Sonnet▪ Deuise Wit, write Pen, for I am for whole volumes in folio.
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Proud of imployment, willingly I go.
Longauill is one.
Know you the man?
Some merrie mocking Lord belike, ist so?
They say so most, that most his humors know.
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Heere comes Boyet.
Now, What admittance Lord?
Heere comes Nauar.
Faire Princesse, Welcome to the court of Nauar.
Faire I giue you backe againe, and welcome I haue not yet: the roofe of this Court is too high to be yours, and welcome to the wide fieldes too base to be mine.
You shalbe welcome Madame to my Court.
I wilbe welcome then, Conduct me thither.
Heare me deare Lady, I haue sworne an oth,
Our Lady helpe my Lord, he'le be forsworne.
Not for the worlde faire Madame, by my will.
Why, will shall breake it will, and nothing els.
Your Ladishyp is ignoraunt what it is.
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Madame I will, if sodainelie I may.
Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?
Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?
I know you did.
How needles was it then to aske the question?
You must not be so quicke.
Tis long of you that spur me with such questions.
Your wit's too hot, it speedes too fast, twill tire.
Not till it leaue the rider in the mire.
What time a day?
The houre that fooles should aske.
Now faire befall your maske.
Faire fall the face it couers.
And send you manie louers.
Amen, so you be none.
Nay then will I be gon.
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Satisfie mee so.
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Sweete health and faire desires consort your grace.
Thy owne wish wish I thee in euery place.
Ladie I will commend you to my none hart.
Pray you, do my commendations, I would be glad to see it.
I would you heard it grone.
Is the foole sicke.
Sicke at the hart.
Alacke, let it blood.
Would that do it good?
My Phisicke saies I.
Will you prickt with your eye.
No poynt, with my knife.
Now God saue thy life.
And yours from long liuing.
I cannot stay thankes-giuing.
Sir, I pray you a word, What Ladie is that same?
The heire of Alanson, Rosalin her name.
A gallant Lady Mounsir, fare you wel.
I beseech you a word, What is she in the white?
A woman sometimes, and you saw her in the light.
Perchance light in the light. I desire her name?
She hath but one for her selfe, to desire that were a shame.
Pray you sir, Whose daughter?
Her mothers, I haue heard.
Gods blessing on your beard.
Good sir be not offended, She is an heire of Falcon-bridge.
Nay my coller is ended. She is a most sweet Ladie.
Not vnlike sir, that may be.
Whats her name in the capp?
Katherin by good happ.
Is she wedded or no?
To her will sir, or so.
O you are welcome sir, adew.
Farewell to me sir, and welcome to you.
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And euery iest but a word.
It was well done of you to take him at his word.
I was as willing to grapple as he was to boord.
Two hot Sheepes marie.
You Sheepe and I pasture: shall that finish the iest▪
So you graunt pasture for me.
Belonging to whom?
To my fortunes and mee.
With what?
With that which we Louers intitle Affected.
Your reason.
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Come, to our Pauilion, Boyet is disposde.
Thou art an old Loue-monger, & speakest skilfully.
He is Cupids Graundfather, and learnes newes of him.
Then was Venus like her mother, for her father is but grim.
Do you heare my mad Wenches?
No.
What then, do you see?
I, our way to be gone.
You are too hard for mee.
Warble child, make passionate my sense of hearing.
Concolinel.
Sweete Ayer, go tendernes of yeeres, take this Key, giue enlargement to the Swaine, bring him festinatly hither, I must imploy him in a letter to my loue.
Maister, will you win your loue with a french braule?
How meanest thou? brawling in French.
No my compl••t Maister, but to Iigge off a tune at the tongues ende, canarie to it with your feete, humour it with turning vp your eylids, sigh a note and sing a note som∣time through the throate, if you swallowed loue with sing∣ing loue sometime through: nose as if you snuff•• vp loue by smelling loue with your hat penthouse like o••e the shop of your eyes, with your armes crost on your thinbellies doblet like a Rabbet on a spit, or your handes in your pocket like •• man after the ol••e painting, and keepe not too long in one tune, but a s••ip and away: these are complementes, these are humours, these betraie nice wenches that would be be∣traied without these, and make them men of note: do you note men that most are affected to these.
How hast thou purchased this experience?
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By my penne of obser••••tio••.
But o but o.
The Hobbie-horse is forg••t.
Calst thou my loue Hobbi-horse.
No Maister, the Hobbi-horse is but a ••olt, and your loue perhaps, a hacknie: But haue you forgot your Loue?
Almost I had.
Necligent student, learne her by hart.
By hart, and in hart boy.
And out of hart Maister: all those three I will proue.
What wilt thou proue?
A man, if I liue (and this) by, in, and without, vpon the instan••▪ by hart you loue her, because your hart cannot come by her: in hart you loue her, because your hart is in loue with her: and out of hart you loue h••r▪ being out of hart that you cannot enioy her.
I am all these three.
And three times as much more, and yet nothing at all.
Fetch hither the Swaine, he must carrie me a letter.
A message well simpa••••isd, a Horse to be embassa∣doure for an Asse.
Ha ha, What saiest thou?
Marrie sir, you must send the Asse vpon the Horse, for he is verie slow gated: but I go.
The way is but short, away.
As swift as Lead sir.
The meaning prettie ingenius, is not Lead a mettal heauie, dull, and slow?
Minnime honest Maister, or rather Maister no.
I say Lead is slow.
Thump then, and I fl••e.
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A wonder Maister, Heers a Costard broken in a shin.
Some enigma, some riddle, ••ome, thy Lenuoy begin.
By vertue thou inforcest laughter, thy sillie thought, my spleene, the heauing of my lunges prouokes me to redi∣culous smyling: O pardone me my starres, doth the incon∣siderate take salue for lenuoy, and the word lenuoy for a salue?
Do the wise thinke them other, is not lenuoy a salue?
I will adde the lenuoy, say the morrall againe.
A good Lenuoy, ending in the Goose: woulde you desire more?
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Come hithe••, come 〈…〉〈…〉 argumen•• begin▪
But tel me, How was there a Costard broken in a shin?
I will tell you sencibly.
We will talke no more of this matter.
Till there be m•••••• matter in the shin.
Sirra Costard, I will infranchise then.
O marrie me to one ••rancis, I smell some Lenuoy, some Goose in this.
True, true, and now you wilbe my purgation, and let me loose.
I giue thee thy libertie, set thee from di••tance, and in lewe thereof, impos••••n thee nothing but th•••• Bear•• this significant to the countrey Maide Iaquenetta where is remu∣neration, for the best w••••d of mine honour, it rewarding my dependants. M••••h, follow.
Like the sequ••ll I, Sign•••••• Costard adew.
O my good 〈…〉〈…〉
Pray you 〈…〉〈…〉
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a man buy for a remuneration?
O what is a remuneration?
Marie sir, halfe pennie farthing.
O, why then three farthing worth of Silke.
I thanke your worship, God be wy you.
When would you haue it done sir?
O this after-noone.
Well, I will do it sir: Fare you well▪
O thou knowest not what it is.
I shall know sir when I haue done it.
Why villaine, thou must know first.
I will come to your worship to morrow morning.
Gardon, O sweete gardon, better then remuneratiō, a leuenpence-farthing better: most sweete gardon. I will do it sir in prinn gardon remuneration.
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I know not, but I thinke it was not he.
Pardon me Madam, for I meant not so.
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Yes Madam faire.
No thing but faire is that which you inherrit.
Here comes a member of the common wealth.
God dig-you-den al, pray you which is the head lady?
Thou shalt know her fellow by the rest that haue no heads.
Which is the greatest Ladie, the highest?
The thickest, and the tallest.
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Whats your will sir? Whats your will?
I haue a Letter from Monsier Berowne, to one Ladie Rosaline.
BY heauen, that thou art faire, is most infallible: true that thou art beautious, trueth it selfe that thou art louelie: more fairer then faire, beautifull then beau∣tious, truer then trueth it selfe: haue comiseration on thy heroicall Vassall. The magnanimous and most illustrate King Cophetua set eie vpon the pernicious and indubitate Begger Zenelophon: and he it was that might rightly say, Veni, vidi, vici: Which to annothanize in the vulgar, O base and obscure vulgar; videliset, He came, See, and ouercame: He came, one; see, two; couercame, three. Who came? the King. Why did he come? to see. Why did he see? to ouer∣come. To whom came he? to the Begger. What saw he? the Begger. Who ouercame he? the Begge••▪ The conclusion is victorie: On whose side? the King: the captiue is inricht, on whose side? the Beggers. The catastrophe is a Nuptiall, on whose side? the Kinges: no, on both in one, or one in both. I am the King (for so standes the comparison) thou the Beg∣ger, for so witnesseth thy lowlines. Shall I commande thy loue? I may. Shall I enforce thy loue? I coulde. Shall I en∣treate thy loue? I will. What, shalt thou exchange for raggs roabes, for tittles tytles, for thy selfe, mee. Thus expecting thy replie, I prophane my lippes on thy foote, my eyes on thy picture, and my hart on thy euerie part.
Thine in the dearest designe of industri, Don Adriana de Armatho.
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I am much deceiued, but I remember the stile.
Els your memorie is bad, going ore it erewhile.
I tolde you, my Lord.
To whom shouldst thou giue it?
From my Lord to my Ladie.
From which Lord, to which Ladie?
Who is the shooter? Who is the shooter?
Shall I teach you to know.
I my continent of beautie.
Why she that beares the Bow. Finely put off.
Well then I am the shooter.
And who is your Deare?
If we choose by the hornes, your selfe come not neare. Finely put on in deede.
You still wrangle with her Boyet, and she strikes at the brow.
But she her selfe is hit lower: Haue I hit her now?
Shall I come vpon thee with an olde saying, that
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was a man when King Pippen of Frannce was a litle boy, as touching the hit it.
So I may answere thee with one as olde that was a woman when queene Guinouer of Brittaine was a litle wench as toching the hit it.
And I cannot, cannot, cannot: and I cannot, an other can.
By my troth most plesant, how both did fit it.
A marke marueilous wel shot, for they both did hit.
Wide a'the bow hand, yfaith your hand is out.
Indeed a'must shoot nearer, or hele neare hit the clout.
And if my hand be out, then belike your hand is in.
Then will she get the vpshoot by cleauing the is in.
Come come, you talke greasely, your lips grow fowle.
Shes to hard for you at pricks, sir challeng her to bowle
I feare too much rubbing: good night my good owle.
Very reuerent sport truly, and done in the testimonie of a good conscience.
The Deare was (as you know) sanguis in blood, ripe as the Pomwater, who now hangeth like a Iewel in the eare of Celo the skie, the welken the heauen, & anon falleth like a Crab on the face of Terra, the soyle, the land, the earth.
Truely M. Holofernes, the epythithes are sweetly vatried like a scholler at the least: but sir I assure ye it was a Bucke of the first head.
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Sir Nathaniel, haud credo.
Twas not a haud credo, twas a Pricket.
Most barbarous intimation: yet a kind of insinua∣••ion, as it were in via, in way of explication facere: as it were replication, or rather ostentare, to show as it were his inclina∣tion after his vndressed, vnpolished, vneducated, vnpruned, vntrained, or rather vnlettered, or ratherest vnconfirmed fa∣shion, to insert again my haud credo for a Deare.
I said the Deare was not a haud credo, twas a Pricket.
Twice sodd simplicitie, bis coctus, O thou monster ignorance, How deformed doost thou looke.
Dictisima goodman Dull, dictisima goodman Dull.
What is dictima?
A title to Phebe, to Luna, to the Moone.
Tis true in deede, the Collusion holdes in the Ex∣change.
God comfort thy capacitie, I say th' allusion holdes in the Exchange.
And I say the polusion holdes in the Exchange: for the Moone is neuer but a month olde: and I say beside that, twas a Pricket that the Princesse kil••.
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Sir Nathaniel, will you heare an extemporall Epy∣taph on the death of the Deare, and to humour the igno∣rault cald the Deare: the Princesse kild a Pricket.
Perge, good M. Holofernes perge, so it shall please you to abrogate squirilitie.
A rare talent.
If a talent be a claw, looke how he clawes him with a talent.
This is a gyft that I haue simple: simple, a foolish extrauagant spirit, full of formes, figures, shapes, obiectes, Ideas, aprehentions, motions, reuolutions. These are begot in the ventricle of Memorie, nourisht in the wombe of prima∣ter, and deliuered vpon the mellowing of occasion: But the gyft is good••n those whom it is acute, and I am thankfull for it.
Sir, I prayse the L. for you, and so may my parishi∣oners, for their Sonnes are well tuterd by you, and their Daughters profite very greatly vnder you: you are a good member of the common wealth.
Me herele, yf their Sonnes be ingenous, they shal want no instruction: If their Daughters be capable, I will put it to them. But Ʋir sapis qui pauca loquitur, a soule Femi∣nine saluteth vs.
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God giue you good morrow M. Person.
Maister Person, quasi Person? And if one shoulde be perst, Which is the one?
Marrie M. Scholemaster, he that is liklest to a hoggs∣head.
Of persing a Hogshead, a good luster of conceit in a turph of Earth, Fier enough for a Flint, Pearle enough for a Swine: tis prettie, it is well.
Good M. Parson be so good as read me this letter, it was geuen me by Costard, and sent me from 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Armatho: I beseech you read it.
I sir, and very learned.
You finde not the apostraphas, and so misse the accent. Let me superuise the cangenet.
Here are onely numbers ratefied, but for the ele∣gancie,
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facilitie, and golden c••dence of poesie caret: Ouiddius Naso was the man. And why in deed Naso, but for smel∣ling out the odoriferous flowers of fancie? the ierkes of in∣uention imitarie is nothing: So doth the Hound his maister, the Ape his keeper, the tyred Horse his rider: But Damosella virgin, Was this directed to you?
I sir from one mounsier Berowne, one of the strange Queenes Lordes.
Sir Holofernes, this Berowne is one of the Votaries with the King, and here he hath framed a letter to a sequent of the stranger Queenes: which accidentally, or by the way of progression, hath miscarried. Trip and goe my sweete, deliuer this Paper into the royall hand of the King, it may concerne much: stay not thy complement, I forgiue thy dewtie, adue.
Good Costard go with me: sir God saue your life.
Haue with thee my girle.
Sir you haue done this in the feare of God verie reli∣giously: and as a certaine Father saith
Sir tell not mee of the Father, I do feare colourable coloures. But to returne to the Verses, Did they please you sir Nathaniel?
Marueilous well for the pen.
I do dine to day at the fathers of a certaine pupill of mine, where if (before repast) it shall please you to gratifie the table with a Grace, I will on my priuiledge I haue with the parentes of the foresaid childe or pupill, vndertake your bien venuto, where I will proue those Verses to be very vn∣learned, neither sauouring of Poetrie, wit, nor inuention. I beseech your societie.
And thanke you to: for societie (saith the text) is the happines of life.
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Ay mee!
Shot by heauen, proceed sweet Cupid, thou hast thumpt him with thy Birdbolt vnder the left papp: in fayth secrets.
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Now in thy likenesse, one more foole appeare.
Ay mee! I am forsworne.
Why he comes in like a periure, wearing papers.
In loue I hope, sweete fellowship in shame.
One drunkard loues an other of the name.
Am I the first that haue been periurd so?
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By whom shall I send this (companie?) Stay.
O most deuine Kate.
O most prophane coxcombe.
By heauen the woonder in a mortall eye.
By earth she is not, croporall, there you ly.
Her Amber heires for foule hath amber coted.
An amber colourd Rauen was well noted.
As vpright as the Ceder.
Stoope I say, her shoulder is with child.
As faire as day.
I as some dayes, but then no Sunne must shine.
O that I had my wish?
And I had mine.
And mine too good Lord.
Amen, so I had mine: Is not that a good word?
Once more Ile reade the Odo that I haue writ.
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In pruning mee when shall you heare that I will prayse a hand, a foote, a face, an eye: a gate, a stace, a brow, a brest, a wast, a legge, a limme.
I post from Loue, good Louer let me go.
God blesse the King.
What present hast thou there?
Some certaine treason.
What makes treason heere?
Nay it makes nothing sir.
Berowne reade it ouer.
Where hadst thou it?
Of Costard.
Where hadst thou it?
Of Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadio.
How now, What is in yo••? Why dost thou teare it?
A toy my Leedge, a toy: your grace needs not feare it.
It did moue him to passion, & therfore lets heare it.
It is Berownes writing, and heere is his name.
What?
Now the number is euen.
True true, we are fower: will these turtles be gon▪
Hence sirs, away.
Walke aside the true folke, and let the traytors stay.
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What, did these rent lines shew some loue of thine?
By heauen, thy Loue is blacke as Ebonie.
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To looke like her are Chimnie-sweepers blake.
And since her time are Colliers counted bright.
And Aethiops of their sweete complexion crake.
Darke needes no Candles now, for darke is light.
Ile proue her faire, or talke till doomse-day heere.
No Diuel will fright thee then so much as shee.
I neuer knew man holde vile stuffe so deare.
Looke, heer's thy loue, my foote and her face see.
But what of this, are we not all in loue?
O nothing so sure, and thereby all forsworne.
I marie there, some flatterie for this euyll.
Some salue for periurie.
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Saint Cupid then and Souldiers to the fielde.
Satis quid sufficit.
I prayse God for you sir, your reasons at Dinner haue been sharpe & sententious: pleasant without scurillitie, wittie without affection, audatious without impudencie, learned without opinion, and strange without heresie: I did conuerse this quondam day with a companion of the kings, who is intituled, nominated, or called, Don Adriano de Ar∣matho.
Noui▪ hominum tanquam te, His humour is loftie, his discourse peremptorie: his tongue fyled, his eye ambitious, his gate maiesticall, and his generall behauiour vaine, redicu∣lous, & thrasonicall. He is too picked, to spruce, too affected, to od as it were, too peregrinat as I may call it.
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A most singuler and choyce Epithat,
He draweth out the thred of his verbositie, finer then the staple of his argument. I abhorre such phanatticall phantasims, such insociable and poynt deuise companions, such rackers of ortagriphie, as to speake ••out fine, when he should say doubt; det, when he shold pronounce debt; debt, not det: he clepeth a Calfe, Cause: halfe, haufe: neighbour vocatur nebour; neigh abreuiated ne: this is abhominable, which he would call abbominable, it insinuateth me of in∣famie: •••• inteligis domine, to make frantique lunatique?
Laus deo, bene intelligo.
B••me boon for boon presci••n, a litle scratcht, twil serue.
Vides ne quis venit?
Video, et gaudio.
Chirra.
Quàri Chirra, not Sirra?
Men of peace well incontred.
Most millitarie sir salutation.
They haue been at a great feast of Languages, and stolne the scraps.
O they haue lyud long on the almsbasket of wordes. I maruaile thy M. hath not eaten thee for a worde, for thou art not so long by the head as honorificabilitudinitatibus: Thou art easier swallowed then a flapdragon.
Peace, the peale begins.
Mounsier, are you not lettred?
Yes yes, he teaches boyes the Horne-booke: What is Ab speld backward with the horne on his head?
Ba, puericia with a horne added.
Ba most seely Sheepe, with a horne: you heare his learning.
Quis quis thou Consonant?
The last of the fiue Vowels if You repeate them, or the fift if I.
I will repeate them: a e I.
The Sheepe, the other two concludes it o u.
Now by the sault wane of the meditaranium, a
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sweete tutch, a quicke vene we of wit, snip snap, quicke and home, it reioyceth my intellect, true wit.
Offerd by a childe to an old man: which is wit-old.
What is the figure? What is the figure?
Hornes.
Thou disputes like an Infant: goe whip thy Gigg.
Lende me your Horne to make one, and I will whip about your Infamie vnū cita a gigge of a Cuckolds horne.
And I had but one peny in the world thou shouldst haue it to buy Ginger bread: Holde, there is the verie Remuneration I had of thy Maister, thou halfe pennie purse of wit, thou Pidgin-egge of discretion. O and the heauens were so pleased, that thou wart but my Ba∣stard; What a ioyfull father wouldest thou make me? Go to, thou hast it ad dungil at the fingers ends, as they say.
Oh I smell false Latine, dunghel for vnguem.
Arts-man preambulat, we will be singuled from the barbarous. Do you not educate youth at the Charg-house on the top of the Mountaine?
Or Mons the hill.
At your sweete pleasure, for the Mountaine.
I do sans question.
Sir, it is the Kings most sweete pleasur & affection, to congratulate the Princesse at her Pauilion, in the posteriors of this day, which the rude multitude call the after-noone.
The posterior of the day, most generous sir, is liable, congruent, and measurable for the after noone: the worde is well culd, chose, sweete, & apt I do assure you sir, I do assure.
Sir, the King is a noble Gentleman, and my fami∣lier, I do assure ye very good friende: for what is inwarde betweene vs, let it passe. I do beseech thee remember thy curtesie. I beseech thee apparrell thy head: and among other importunt and most serious designes, and of great import in deede too: but let that passe, for I must tell thee it will please his Grace (by the worlde) sometime to leane vpon my poore shoulder, and with his royall finger thus dallie with my excrement, with my mustachie: but sweete hart let that passe. By the world I recount no fable, some certaine
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special honours it pleaseth his greatnes to impart to Armado a Souldier, a man of trauayle, that hath seene the worlde: but let that passe; the very all of all is: but sweet hart, I do implore secretie, that the King would haue me present the Princesse (sweete chuck) with some delightfull ostentation, or show, or pageant, or antique, or fierworke: Now vnderstanding that the Curate and your sweete selfe, are good at such erup∣tions, and sodaine breaking out of myrth (as it were) I haue acquainted you withall, to the ende▪ to craue your assistance.
Sir, you shall present before her the Nine Worthies. Sir Holofernes, as concerning some entertainement of time, some show in the posterior of this day, to be rended by our assistants the Kinges commaund, and this most gallant il∣lustrate and learned Gentleman, before the Princesse: I say none so fit as to present the nine Worthies.
Where will you finde men worthie enough to pre∣sent them?
Iosua, your selfe, my selfe, and this gallant Gentle∣man Iudas Machabeus; this Swaine (because of his great lim or ioynt) shall passe Pompey the great, the Page Hercules.
Pardon sir, error: He is not quantitie enough for that worthies thumbe, he is not so big as the end of his Club.
Shall I haue audience? He shall present Hercules in minoritie: his enter and exit shalbe strangling a Snake; and I will haue an Apologie for that purpose.
An excellent deuice: so if any of the audience hisse, you may cry, Well done Hercules, now thou crusshest the Snake; that is the way to make an offence gracious, though few haue the grace to do it.
For the rest of the Worthies?
I will play three my selfe.
Thrice worthie Gentleman.
Shall I tell you a thing?
We attende.
We will haue, if this fadge not, an Antique. I be∣seech you follow.
Ʋia good-man Dull, thou hast spoken no worde all this while.
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Nor vnderstoode none neither sir.
Alone, we will employ thee.
Ile make one in a daunce, or so: or I will play on the Taber to the worthies, and let them dance the hey.
Most Dull, honest Dull, to our sport: away.
Madame, came nothing els along with that?
I and a shrowde vnhappie gallowes too.
Youle neare be friendes with him, a kild your sister.
Whats your darke meaning mouce, of this light word?
A light condition in a beautie darke.
We neede more light to finde your meaning out.
Looke what you do, you do it still i'th darke.
So do not you, for you are a light Wench.
In deede I waigh not you, and therefore light.
You waigh me not, O thats you care not for me.
Great reason: for past care, is still past cure.
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Any thing like?
Much in the letters, nothing in the praise.
Beautious as Incke: a good conclusion.
Faire as a text B in a Coppie booke.
Madame, this Gloue▪
Did he not send you twaine?
I, or I would these handes might neuer part.
We are wise girles to mocke our Louers so.
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But shall we dance, if they desire vs toot?
The Trompet soundes, be maskt, the maskers come.
All haile, the richest Beauties on the earth.
Beauties no richer then rich Taffata.
A holy parcell of the fayrest dames that euer turnd their backes to mortall viewes.
Their eyes villaine, their eyes.
True, out in deede.
Once to beholde, rogue.
They do not marke me, and that bringes me out.
Is this your perfectnes? begon you rogue.
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What would you with the Princes?
Nothing but peace, and gentle visitation.
What would they, say they?
Nothing but peace, and gentle visitation.
Why that they haue, and bid them so be gon.
She saies you haue it, and you may be gon.
Tell her we measure them by weerie steps▪
She heares her selfe.
My face is but a Moone, and clouded too.
Then in our measure, do but vouchsafe one change,
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Qualme perhapt.
Yes in good faith.
Goe sicknes as thou art.
And quicke Berowne hath plighted Fayth to me.
And Longauill was for my seruice borne.
Dumaine is mine as sure as barke on tree.
Will they returne?
How blow? how blow? Speake to be vnderstood.
Ladies, withdraw: the gallants are at hand,
Whip to our Tents as Roes runs ore land.
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Faire sir, God saue you: Wher's the Princesse?
Gone to her Tent. Please it your Maiestie com∣maunde me any seruice to her thither,
That she vouchsafe me audience for one word.
I will, and so will she, I know my Lord.
All haile sweete Madame, and faire time of day.
Faire in all Haile is foule, as I conceaue.
Consture my spaches better, if you may.
Then wish me better, I will giue you leaue.
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How Madame? Russians?
This proues you wise and rich: for in my eie.
I am a foole, and full of pouertie.
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O, I am yours and all that I possesse.
All the foole mine.
I cannot giue you lesse.
Which of the Vizards was it that you wore?
Where, when, what Vizard? why demaund you this?
We were descried, theyle mock vs now dounright.
Let vs confesse and turne it to a iest.
Amazde my Lord? Why lookes your highnes sad?
Sans, sans, I pray you.
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No, they are free that gaue these tokens to vs.
Our states are forfait, seeke not to vndoo vs.
Peace, for I will not haue to doe with you.
Nor shall not, if I do as I intende.
Speake for your selues, my wit is at an ende.
Madame, I was.
And were you well aduisde?
I was faire Madame.
That more then all the world, I did respect her.
When she shall challenge this, you will reiect her.
Vpon mine honour no.
Peace peace, forbeare: your Oth once broke, you force not to forsweare.
Despise me when I breake this oth of mine.
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Full merely hath this braue nuage, this carre••re bin run.
Loe, he is tilting straight. Peace, I haue don.
Welcome pure wit, thou partst a faire fray.
O Lord sir, they would know,
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My hat to a halfe-pennie, Pompey prooues the best Worthie.
Your Nose saies no, you are not: for it stands too right.
Your nose smels no in his most tender smelling knight.
The conqueror is dismaid: proceed good Alexander.
When in the worlde I liued, I was the worldes commander.
Most true, tis right: you were so Alisander.
Pompey the great.
Your seruant and Costard.
Take away the Conquerour, take away Alisander.
O sir, you haue ouerthrowne Alisander the Conque∣rour: you will be scrapt out of the painted cloth for this. Your Lion that holdes his Polax sitting on a close stoole, will be geuen to Aiax. He wilbe the ninth Worthie: a Con∣querour, and a feard to speake? Run away for shame Ali∣sander. There ant shall please you a foolish mylde man, an honest man; looke you, and soone dash••. He is marueylous good neighbour fayth, and a very good Bowler: but for Alisander, alas you see how tis a little oreparted, but there are Worthies a comming will speake their minde in some other sort.
Stand aside good Pompey.
Iudas I am.
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A Iudas.
Iudas Machabeus clipt, is plaine Iudas.
A kissing traytour. How art thou proud Iudas?
Iudas I am.
The more shame for you Iudas.
What meane you sir?
To make Iudas hang him selfe.
Begin sir, you are my elder.
Well folowed, Iudas was hanged on an Flder▪
I will not be put out of countenance.
Because thou hast no face.
What is this?
A Cytterne head.
The head of a Bodkin.
A deaths face in a Ring.
The face of an olde Roman coyne, scarce seene.
The pummel of Caesars Fauchion.
The carud-bone face on a Flaske.
Saint Georges halfe cheeke in a Brooch.
I and in a Brooch of Lead.
You haue put me out of countenance.
False, we haue giuen thee faces.
But you haue outfaste them all.
And thou weart a Lyon, we would do so.
For the latter ende of his name.
For the Asse to the Iude: giue it him. Judas away▪
This is not generous, not gentle, not humble.
A light for Mounsier Judas, it growes darke, he may stumble.
Alas poore Machabeus, how hath he bin bayted.
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Hide thy head Achilles, here comes Hector in Armes.
Though my mockes come home by me, I will now be merrie.
Hector was but a Troyan in respect of this.
But is this Hector?
I thinke Hector was not so cleane timberd.
His Legge is too bigge for Hectors.
More Calfe certaine.
No, he is best indued in the small.
This cannot be Hector.
Hee's a God or a Painter: for he makes faces.
The Armipotent Mars, of Launces the almightie, gaue Hector a gift.
A gift Nutmegg.
A Lemmon.
Stucke with Cloues.
No clouen.
That Mint.
That Cullambine.
Sweete Lord Longauill raine thy tongue.
I must rather giue it the raine: for it runnes against Hector.
I and Hector's a Greyhound.
Speake braue Hector, we are much delighted.
I do adore thy sweete Graces Slipper.
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Loues her by the foote.
He may not by the yarde.
This Hector far surmounted Hanniball,
Fellow Hector, she is gone; she is two months on her way.
What meanest thou?
Faith vnlesse you play the honest Troyan, the poore wench is cast away: shee's quicke, the childe bragges in her bellie already: tis yours.
Then shall Hector be whipt for Iaquenetta that is quicke by him, and hangd for Pompey that is dead by him.
Most rare Pompey.
Renowned Pompey.
Greater then great, great, great, great Pompey: Pom∣pey the hudge.
Hector trembles.
Pompey is mooued more Ates more Atees stir them or stir them on.
Hector will challenge him.
I, if a'haue no more mans blood in his belly then w suppe a Flea.
By the North Pole I do challenge thee.
Roome for the incensed Worthies.
Ile do it in my shyrt.
Most resolute Pompey.
Maister, let me take you a button hole lower. Do you not see, Pompey is vncasing for the Combat: What meane you? you will loose your reputation.
Gentlemen and Souldiers, pardon me, I will not combat in my shyrt.
You may not deny it, Pompey hath made the chal∣lenge.
Sweete bloodes, I both may and will.
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What reason haue you fort.
True, and it was inioyned him in Rome for want of Linnen: since when, Ile be sworne he wore none, but a dish∣cloute of Jaquenetta••s, and that a weares next his hart for a Fauour.
God saue you Madame.
Welcome Marcade, but that thou interrupptest our merriment.
I am sorrie Madame for the newes I bring is heauie in my tongue. The King your father
Dead for my life.
Euen so: my tale is tolde.
Worthies away, the Scaene begins to cloude.
For mine owne part I breath free breath: I haue seene the day of wrong through the litle hole of discretion, and I will right my selfe like a Souldier.
How fares your Maiestie?
Boyet prepare, I will away to nyght.
Madame Not so, I do beseech you stay.
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I vnderstand you not, my griefes are double.
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Our letters madame, shewed much more then iest.
So did our lookes.
We did not cote them so.
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And what to me my Loue? and what to me?
But what to me my Loue? but what to me?
O shall I say, I thanke you gentle Wife?
Ile serue thee true and faythfully till then.
Yet sweare not, least ye be forsworne agen.
What saies Maria?
Ile stay with patience, but the time is long.
The liker you, few taller are so young.
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I sweete my Lord, and so I take my leaue.
No Madame, we will bring you on your way.
That's too long for a Play.
Sweete Maiestie vouchsafe me.
Was not that Hector?
The worthie Knight of Troy.
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Call them foorth quickly, we will do so.
Holla, Approch.
Ʋer begin.
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The vvordes of Mercurie, are harsh after the songes of Apollo.