Of domesticall duties eight treatises. I. An exposition of that part of Scripture out of which domesticall duties are raised. ... VIII. Duties of masters. By William Gouge.

The fourth Treatise. Husbands Particular Duties. (Book 4)

§. 1. Of the Generall Heads of this Treatise.

EPHES. 5. 25, &c.

Husbands loue your owne wiues, euen as Christ also loued the Church, &c.

AS the wife is to know her dutie, so the hus∣band * 1.1 much more his, because he is to be a guide, and good example to his wife, he is to dwell with her according to knowledge, (1 Pet. 3. 7.) the more eminent his place is, the more knowledge he ought to haue how to walke worthy thereof. Neglect of dutie in him is more dishonourable vnto God, because by vertue of his place he is a 1.2 the Imag eand glory of God, and more pernicious not to his wife only, but also to the whole family, because of that power and authority he hath, which he may abuse to the maintenance of his wickednesse, hauing in the house no supe∣riour power to restraine his fury: whereas the wife, though neuer so wicked, may by the power of her husband be kept vnder, and restrained from outrage.

Wherefore to goe on in order, in laying downe the husbands * 1.3 duties (as we haue the wiues) we are to consider,

• 1. The Duties themselues.
• 2. The reasons to inforce them.

In setting downe the duties we must note

• 1. The matter wherein they consist.
• ...

• 2. The manner how they are to be performed.

The Apostle compriseth the whole matter of them all vn∣der Loue, which is the summe and head of all.

This we will first handle: and then proceed to other particulars.

§. 2. Of that * 1.4 loue which husbands owe their wiues.

This head of all the rest, Loue, is expresly set downe, and alone mentioned in this, and in many other places of Scrip∣ture, whereby it is euident, that all other duties are comprised vnder it.

To omit other places, where this dutie is vrged in b 1.5 this place, Loue is foure times by name expressed, beside that it is intimated vnder many other termes and phrases.

Whosoeuer therefore taketh a wife, must, in this respect that she is his wife, loue her: as it is noted of Isaak (the best pat∣terne of husbands noted in the Scripture) c 1.6 he tooke Rebekah, she was his wife ana he loued her.

Many good reasons hereof may be rendred. * 1.7

1. Because no dutie on the husbands part can be rightly performed except it be seasoned with loue. The Apostle ex∣horteth all Christians to doe all their things in loue: much more * 1.8 ought husbands: though in place they be aboue their wiues, yet loue may not be forgotten.

2. Because of all persons on earth a wife is the most proper * 1.9 obiect of loue: nor friend, nor childe, nor parent ought so to be loued as a wife: she is termed, the wife of his bosome, to shew that she ought to be as his heart in his bosome.

3. Because his place of eminency, and power of authority * 1.10 may soone puffe him vp, and make him insult ouer his wife, and trample her vnder his feet, if a intire loue of her be not planted in his heart. To keepe him from abusing his authority is loue so much pressed vpon him.

4. Because wiues through the weaknesse of their sex (for * 1.11 they are the weaker vessels) are much prone to prouoke their husbands. So as if there be not loue predominant in the hus∣band, there is like to be but little peace betwixt man and wife. Loue couereth a multitude of imperfections.

5. Because as Christ by his loue first manifested prouoketh

the Church to loue him, so an husband by louing his wife should prouoke her to loue him againe: shewing himselfe like the Sunne which is the fountaine of light, and from which the Moone receiueth what light she hath: so he should be the foun∣taine of loue to his wife.

Obiect. Loue was before laid downe as a common dutie ap∣pertaining both to man and wife: how is it then here required as a particular and peculiar dutie of an husband?

Answ. In regard of the generall extent of loue it is indeed a common dutie belonging to the one as well as to the other, yea * 1.12 belonging to all Christians, to all men: for it is the very na∣ture of loue, and an especiall property thereof, to seeke not her owne things, but the good of others, which all are bound to doe by vertue of the bond of nature; more then others, Christians by vertue of the bond of the spirit: among Chri∣stians, especially wiues and husbands by vertue of the matri∣moniall bond: of maried couples, most of all husbands by vertue of their place and charge. Their place is a place of au∣thoritie, which without loue will soone turne into tyrannie. Their charge is especially and aboue all, to seeke the good of their wiues: as wiues are the chiefest, and greatest charge of husbands, so their chiefest and greatest care must be for them: the parents and friends of wiues as they giue ouer all their au∣thority to their husbands, so they cast all care vpon them: wherefore that husbands may take the more care of their wiues, and the better seeke their good, they ought after a pe∣culiar manner to loue them. Husbands are most of all bound to loue: and bound to loue their wiues most of all.

Thus this affection of loue is a distinct dutie in it selfe, pe∣culiarly * 1.13 appertaining to an husband: and also a common con∣dition which must be annexed to euery other dutie of an hus∣band, to season and sweeten the same. His looke, his speech, his carriage, and all his actions, wherein he hath to doe with his wife, must be seasoned with loue: loue must shew it selfe in his commandements, in his reproofes, in his instructions, in his admonitions, in his authoritie, in his familiaritie, when they are alone together, when they are in company before o∣thers, in ciuill affaires, in religious matters, at all times, in all

things: as salt must be first and last vpon the table, and eaten with euery bit of meate, so must loue be first in an husbands heart, and last out of it, and mixed with euery thing where∣in he hath to doe with his wife.

§. 3. Of an husbands hatred and want of loue.

Contrary hereunto is hatred of heart: which vice as it is * 1.14 very odious and detestable in it selfe, so much more when the wife is made the obiect thereof. As loue prouoketh an hus∣band to doe his wife what good he can, so hatred, to doe her what mischiefe he can. Moses noteth a mans hatred of his * 1.15 wife to be a cause of much mischiefe: for the neerer, and dea∣rer any persons be, the more violent will that hatred be which is fastened on them.

Hence was it that a diuorce was suffered to be made betwixt * 1.16 a man and his wife, in case he hated her: which law question∣lesse was made for releefe of the wife, lest the hatred which her husband conceiued against her should worke her some mischiefe, if he were forced to keepe her as his wife: which Christ seemeth to imply in these words, Moses, because of the * 1.17 hardnesse of your hearts, suffered you to put away your wines. This therefore being so pestilent a poison, let husbands take heed how they suffer it to soake into them.

Neither is it sufficient for an husband not to hate his wife, * 1.18 for euen the want of loue, though it be only a priuation, yet is it a great vice, and contrary also to the forenamed dutie of loue. Where this want of loue is, there can be no duty wel performed, euen as when the great wheele of a clocke, the first mouer of all the rest, is out of frame, neuer a wheele can be in good order. They that thinke lightly hereof, plainly discouer that there is little or no loue of God in them at all: for if the Apostles infe∣rence be good, taken from a mans neighbour or brother whom * 1.19 he hath seene, it will much more be good hauing relation to a wife: for how can he who loueth not his wife, (whom God hath giuen to him as a token of his fauour, and as an helpe meet for him, to be in his bosome, and euer in his sight, yea to be no more two, but one flesh) loue God whom he hath not seene? If any man saith, he loueth God, and hate his wife, he is a lier. Let

husbands therefore by louing their wiues giue euidence that they loue God.

§. 4. Of an husbands * 1.20 wise maintaining his authoritie.

All the branches which grow out of this root of loue, as they haue respect to husbands duties, may be drawne to two heads:

• 1. A wise maintaining of his authoritie.
• 2. A right managing of the same.

That these two are branches of an husbands loue, is euident by the place wherein God hath set him, which is a place of au∣thoritie; for the best good that any can doe, and so the best fruits of loue which he can shew forth to any, are such as are done in his owne proper place, and by vertue thereof. If then an husband relinquish his authoritie, he disableth himselfe from doing that good, and shewing those fruits of loue which otherwise he might. If he abuse his authoritie, he turneth the edge and point of his sword amisse: in stead of holding it ouer his wife for her protection, he turneth it into her bowels to her destruction, and so manifesteth thereby more hatred then loue.

Now then to handle these two seuerally, and distinctly:

I. That an husband ought wisely to maintaine his autho∣ritie, * 1.21 is implied vnder this Apostolicall precept, Husbands dwell with your wiues according to knowledge, that is, as such as are well able to maintaine the honour of that place wherein God * 1.22 hath set you: not as sots and fooles without vnderstanding. The same is also implied vnder the titles of preheminence which the Scripture attributeth to husbands, as Lord, Master, * 1.23 head, guide, image and glory of God, &c.

The honour and authoritie of God, and of his Sonne Christ * 1.24 Iesus, is maintained in and by the honour and authoritie of an husband, as the Kings authoritie is maintained by the autho∣ritie of his Priuy Councell and other Magistrates vnder him; yea, as an husbands authoritie is in the family maintained by the authoritie of his wife: (for as the man is the glory of God, so * 1.25 the woman is the glory of the man.)

The good of the wife her selfe is thus also much promoted, * 1.26 euen as the good of the body is helped forward by the heads

abiding in his place; should the head be put vnder any of the parts of the body, the body and all the parts thereof could not but receiue much dammage thereby: euen so the wife and whole family would feele the dammage of the husbands losse of his authoritie.

1. Quest. Is it in the power of the husband to maintaine his owne authoritie?

Answ. Yea, in his more then in any others: for note the * 1.27 counsell of the Apostle to Timothie, (though in another case, yet very pertinent to this purpose) Let no man despise thy youth. It was therefore in Timothies power to maintaine his honour, and not to suffer it to be despised; and so is it in an husbands power.

2. Quest. How may an husband best maintaine his autho∣ritie?

Answ. That direction which the Apostle giueth to Timothie * 1.28 to maintaine his authoritie, may fitly be applied for this pur∣pose vnto an husband; Be an ensample in conuersation, in loue, in spirit, in faith, and in purenesse: as if he had said, If thou walke before them worthy of thy place and calling, and wor∣thy of that honour and respect which is due thereunto, shew∣ing forth the fruits of loue, faith, and other like graces, assu∣redly they will reuerence thy youth; but if otherwise thou car∣rie thy selfe basely, and not beseeming a minister, thou giuest them iust occasion to despise thee. Euen thus may husbands best maintaine their authoritie by being an ensample in loue, grauitie, pietie, honesty, &c. The fruits of these and other like graces shewed forth by husbands before their wiues and family, cannot but worke a reuerend and dutifull respect in their wiues and whole house towards them: for by this means they shall more cleerely discerne the image of God shine forth in their faces.

Obiect. Very goodnesse and grace it selfe is hated of wicked and vngodly wiues: it was an act of pietie that made Michal despise Dauid.

Answ. 1. Grant it to be so: yet this may be a good direction for such husbands as haue not such wicked wiues.

2. This doth not alwaies so fall our, no, nor yet for the most

part in those that are wicked; true vertue and integritie doth oft cause admiration in such as loue it not.

3. Though some be of so crooked and peruerse a dispositi∣on as to take occasion of contempt, where none is giuen, yet shall that husband iustifie himselfe before God and man, that carryeth himselfe worthy of his place.

§. 5. Of husbands losing their authoritie.

Contrary is their practise who by their profanenesse, rio∣tousnesse, * 1.29 drunkennesse, lewdnesse, lightnesse, vnthriftinesse, and other like base carriage, make themselues contemptible, and so lose their authoritie: though a wife ought not to take these occasions to despise her husband, yet is it a iust iudge∣ment on him to be despised, seeing he maketh himselfe con∣temptible.

Contrary also to the forenamed directions is the sterne, * 1.30 rough, and cruel carriage of husbands, who by violence and ty∣ranny goe about to maintaine their authority. Force may in∣deed cause feare, but a slauish feate, such a feare as breedeth more hatred then loue, more inward contempt, then outward respect.

And contrary is their seruile disposition, who against their * 1.31 owne iudgement yeeld to the bent of their wiues minde in such things as are vnlawfull: they will lose their authority ra∣ther then giue discontent to their wiues: which is a fault ex∣presly forbidden by the a 1.32 law: and yet a fault whereinto not only wicked b 1.33 Ahab, but also wise Salomon fell: how hei∣nous a fault, and how grieuous a fall this was in Salomon, the fearefull issue thereof sheweth. Like to him not in wisdome, but in this point of egregious folly, are such as vpon their wiues * 1.34 instigation, suffer Priests and Iesuites, to lurke and celebrate Masses in their houses, and yeeld to be present thereat them∣selues. Like to Ahab are such Magistrates as suffer their wiues to ouersway them in course of Iustice: hence it commeth to passe that more petitions and suites are made to the wiues of Magistrates in the cases of Iustice then to the Magistrates them∣selues: and the fauour of their wiues is more esteemed then their owne: so as the power of gouerning, and the maine stroke in determining matters, is from their wiues; they are but

the mouthes and instrument of their wiues, in so much as a∣mong the common people the title of their places and offices is giuen to their wiues. Some husbands suffer this by reason of their fearefull, and foolish disposition, wanting courage and wisdome to maintaine the honour of their places against the insolency of their wiues: others vpon a subtil, couetous, wicked minde, that by the meanes of their wiues there may be more freedome for receiuing bribes. Among these I may reckon those who against their owne minde, to satisfie their wiues minde, suffer both wiues and children to follow the fashion, to attire themselues vnbeseeming their places, to frequent light company, with the like; and also those who vpon their wiues importunitie are moued (as Sampson was) to reueale such se∣crets * 1.35 as are not meet to be knowne. Husbands may hearken to their wiues mouing good things, but they may not obey them in euill things: if they doe, their fault is double: 1. in doing euill: 2. in losing their authoritie.

Let husbands therefore be very watchfull against their wiues euill instigations. Satan laboured to supplant Iob by his wife: and by this doth he subuert many in these daies.

§. 6. Of husbands * 1.36 high account of wiues.

As authority must be well maintained, so must it be well managed: for which purpose two things are needfull:

• 1. That an husband tenderly respect his wife.
• 2. That prouidently he care for her.

An husbands tender respect of his wife is	Inward.
Outward.

Inward in regard of his	Opinion of her.
Affection to her.

Outward in regard of his cariage towards her.

For an husbands opinion of his wife, two things are to be weighed,	Her place,
Her person.

1. Her place is indeed a place of inferiority, and subiection, yet the neerest to equality that may be: a place of common * 1.37 equity in many respects, wherein man and wife are after a sort euen fellowes, and partners: Hence then it followeth that

The husband must account his wife a yoke-fellow and companion. This is one point of giuing honour to the wife: and it is im∣plied

vnder that phrase wherby the end of making a wife is no∣ted, * 1.38 which in our English is translated, meet for him, word for word as before him that is, like himselfe, one in whom he might * 1.39 see himselfe, or euen (to vse our Apostles word) himselfe. These phrases imply a kinde of fellowship: as also the many prero∣gatiues that are common to both, which haue beene noted * 1.40 before.

As a wiues acknowledgement of her husbands superiority is the ground-worke of all her duties, so an husbands acknow∣ledgement of that fellowship which is betwixt him and his wife, will make him carry himselfe much more amiably, fa∣miliarly, louingly, and euery way as beseemeth a good husband towards her.

§. 7. Of that fellowship which is betwixt man and wife, not∣withstanding a wiues inferiority.

Obiect. Fellowship betwixt man and wife cannot stand with a wiues inferiority and subiection.

Answ. They are of very meane capacity that cannot see how these may stand together. Is there not a fellowship be∣twixt superiour and inferiour magistrates in relation to their subiects? yea the Scripture mentioneth a fellowship betwixt Christ the head and other Saints in relation to the glory * 1.41 whereof all are made partakers (for it termeth vs ioynt heires with Christ:) and in relation to Gods people a fellowship be∣twixt God and his ministers (for it termeth them labourers to∣gether * 1.42 with God) yet none can denie the Saints, and ministers to be inferiour and in subiection to Christ, and God. But di∣stinctly to answer the obiection.

1. There may not only be a fellowship, but also an equality in some things betwixt those that in other things are one of them inferiour and subiect: as betwixt man and wife in the power of one another bodies: for the wife (as well as the hus∣band) * 1.43 is therein both a seruant, and a mistresse, a seruant to yeeld her body, a mistresse to haue the power of his.

2. There may be fellowship in the very same things where∣in is inferiority: for fellowship hath respect to the thing it selfe, inferiority to the measure, and manner: as in giuing light the Sunne and Moone haue a fellowship, but in the measure and

manner the Moone is inferiour: the Moone hath not so much light as the Sunne, and that which it hath it hath from the Sunne: and as in gouerning, the king and other magistrates haue a fellowship, but in the measure, and manner of gouern∣ment they are inferiour to him: Euen so is it betwixt man and wife, in many things wherein there is a fellowship, the wife is notwithstanding inferiour: so as inferiority may stand with fellowship.

3. There are no vnequals betwixt which there is so neere a parity as betwixt man and wife: if therefore there may be a fellowship betwixt any that are superiour, and inferiour one to another, then much more betwixt man and wife.

* 1.44 As the soule therefore ruleth ouer the body, by a mutuall and louing consent and agreement, so must a man ouer his wife.

§. 8. Of husbands too meane account of wiues.

Contrary is the conceit of many who thinke there is no * 1.45 difference betwixt a wife and seruant but in familiarity: and that wiues were made to be seruants to their husbands, be∣cause subiection, feare and obedience are required of them: whence it commeth to passe that wiues are oft vsed little bet∣ter then seruants. A conceit and practise sauouring too much of heathenish, and sottish arrogancy. Did God at first take the wife out of mans side, that man should tread her vn∣der his feet? or rather that he should set her at his side next to him aboue all children, seruants, or any other in the family, how neere, or deare vnto him soeuer? for none can be neerer then a wife, and none ought to be dearer.

§. 9. Of husbands good esteeme of their * 1.46 owne wiues.

2. For the person of a wife, An husband ought to esteeme that particular person to whom by Gods prouidence he is ioyned in ma∣riage, to be the fittest, and best for him. This is implied vnder that particle of restraint (OWNE) noted by the Apostle where he saith a 1.47 husbands loue your OWNE wiues, and againe presseth it vnder a comparison of the body (as b 1.48 your OWNE bodies) Euery one thinketh his owne body best and fittest for him. A man might happily wish some defects or enormities in his owne body to be amended, and desire that his were like an

others, more strait, strong, and comely then his owne, yet would he not haue his head to be vpon that other mans body: the same opinion ought a man (that would loue his wife) to haue of her.

Good reason there is for him so to doe: for true is the pro∣uerbe, * 1.49 if it be rightly taken, mariages are first made in heauen, that is, God hath an ouer-ruling hand in ordering them: which c 1.50 Salomon implieth by that opposition which he maketh betwixt wealth and a wife: that is from our fathers, this from the Lord: in which respect he saith, d 1.51 he which findeth a wife receiueth fauour of the Lord. If therefore thou art loued of God, and louest him, he will make thy wife proue a good thing to thee.

Obiect. A wife may be a very lewd and wicked woman: how then can she be accounted the best wife?

Answ. 1. It may be she was good enough when first she was brought to thee, but thou by thine euill example, or neg∣ligent gouernment, or hard vsage, hast made her so bad as she is. Which if it be so, then is she to be considered not as thou hast marr'd her, but as thou diddest marie her.

2. Though she be not in relation to other wiues the best in condition, yet in relation to thee she may be the best in euent: if not for thine ease and quiet, yet for triall of thy wisdome and patience: and so as e 1.52 a schoole of vertue she may be vnto thee. As f 1.53 a skilfull pilots sufficiency is tried and knowne by tem∣pestuous seas, so a mans wisdome by a troublesome wife. Yea she may be giuen thee as a punishment of some former sinnes, as seeking after a beautifull, honourable, rich, proper wife, ra∣ther then a religious and honest one: or seeking her without any direction or helpe first sought of God, or otherwise then thou hast warrant from God, as by stealth, and without parents consent; or some other sinnes in another kinde, to bring thee to repentance: or as a meanes to restraine and weane thee from some future sinnes whereunto thou are subiect, and so proue a blessed crosse to keepe thee from a fearefull curse.

§. 10. Of husbands preposterous opinion of their owne wiues.

Contrary is a corrupt and peruerse opinion which many haue of their owne wiues, thinking them of all other the worst

and vnfittest; yea though they be such as euery way both in gifts and qualities of minde, and also in grace and comelinesse of body deserue all good respect and esteeme. Whereas others (which looke with a single eye) commend their good parts, they Misinterpret and misiudge all: if their wiues be religi∣ous, they thinke them hypocrites: if graue, sober and modest, melancholicke: if cheerefull, wanton: if they keepe at home, idle drones: if they take occasion (though neuer so iust) of go∣ing abroad, gadders, and lightfooted. This bad opinion of their wiues is a cause that their hearts are cleane remoued from their owne, and set vpon strange flesh: whereby the de∣uill gaineth what he desireth, that is, to put asunder such as God hath ioyned together, and to ioyne those whom God hath put asunder.

§. 11. Of husbands * 1.54 intire affection to their wiues.

An husbands affection to his wife must be answerable to his opinion of her: he ought therefore to delight in his wife intirely, that is, so to delight in her as wholly and only delighting in her: In this respect the Prophets wife is called the a 1.55 desire, or de∣light, or pleasure of his eyes: that wherein he most of all deligh∣ted, and therefore by a propriety so called.

Such delight did Isaak take in his wife as it droue out a con∣trary strong passion, namely the griefe which he tooke for the departure of his mother: for it is noted that he b 1.56 loued her, and was comforted after his mothers death.

This kinde of affection the wise-man doth elegantly set forth in these words, Reioyce with the wife of thy youth: Let her * 1.57 be as the louing Hinde, and pleasant Roe, and be thou rauisht al∣waies with her loue. Here note both the metaphors, and also the hyperbole which are vsed to set forth an husbands delight in his wife. In the metaphors againe note both the creatures whereunto a wife is resembled, and also the attributes giuen to them. The creatures are two, an Hind and a Roe, which are the females of an Hart and a Roe-Bucke: now it is noted of the Hart and Roe-Bucke, that of all other beasts they are most ina∣mored (as I may so speake) with their mates, and euen mad againe in their heat and desire after them.

These metaphors hath Salomon vsed to set forth that vnfai∣ned

and earnest, intire and ardent affection which an husband ought to beare vnto his wife: which being taken in a good sense, and rightly applied, so as they exceed not the bonds of christian modesty and decency, are very fit, and pertinent to the purpose: if we stretch them beyond modesty, we wrong the pen-man of them, or rather the Holy Ghost that direct∣ed him, and propound a pernicious patterne vnto husbands.

The attributes giuen to the forenamed creatures much am∣plifie the point: the former is termed a louing Hind, the latter * 1.58 a pleasant Roe, word for word an Hind of Loues, a Roe of fauour, that is, exceedingly loued and fauoured: (for to set forth the extent of Gods loue vnto his Sonne, Christ is called the sonne of his loue:)

These comparisons applied to a wife, doe liuely set forth that delight which an husband ought to take in her, and yet is it much further amplified by the hyperbole vsed in this phrase, be thou rauisht with her loue, word for word erre thou in her loue, * 1.59 by which no sinfull error, or dotage is meant, but a lawfull earnest affection: implying two things especially: First so far to exceed, as to make a man ouersee some such blemishes in his wife, as others would soone espie and mislike: or else to count them no blemishes, delighting in her neuer a whit the lesse for them. For example, if a man haue a wife, not very beautifull, or proper, but hauing some deformity in her body, some im∣perfection in her speech, sight, gesture, or any part of her bo∣dy, yet so to affect her, and delight in her, as if she were the fairest, and euery way most compleat woman in the world. Se∣condly, so highly to esteeme, so ardently to affect, so tenderly to respect her, as others may thinke him euen to doat on her. An husbands affection to his wife cannot be too great if it kept within the bonds of honesty, sobriety and comelinesse. The wiues affection ought to be as great to her husband, yet because of the husbands place of authority, he must especially take all occasions to manifest this his inward affection. Read the Song of Songs, and in it you shall obserue such affection manifested by Christ to his Spouse, as would make one thinke he did (with reuerence in an holy manner to vse the phrase) euen erre in his loue and doat on her. A good patterne and

president for husbands. For nothing is more louely them a * 1.60 good wife.

§. 12. Of the Stoicall disposition of husbands to their wiues.

Contrary is the disposition of such husbands as haue no heat, or heart of affection in them: but Stoick-like delight no more in their owne wiues then in any other women, nor account them any dearer then others. A disposition no way warranted by the word. The faithfull Saints of God before mentioned, as also many other like to them, were no Stoicks, without all affection: nor did they thinke it a matter vnbeseeming them after a peculiar manner to delight in their wiues (witnesse Isaacks sporting with his wife) for this is a priuiledge which ap∣pertaineth * 1.61 to the estate of mariage. But that I be not mistaken herein, let it be noted that the affection whereof I speake is not a carnall, sensuall, beastly affection, but such an one as may stand with Christian grauitie and so briety: hauing relati∣on to the soule of a mans wife as well as to her body, groun∣ded both on the neere coniunction of mariage, and also on the inward qualities of his wife.

Thus farre of an husbands inward respect of his wife. It followeth to speake of his outward cariage towards her.

§. 13. Of an husbands * 1.62 kinde acceptance of such things as his wife doth.

S. Peter giueth a generall rule for an husbands outward cariage to his wife, which is, that he dwell with her according to knowledge, that is, as a man able to order his cariage wisely to his owne honour and his wiues good, that so she may haue iust cause to blesse God that euer she was ioyned to such an hus∣band.

Out of this generall these two branches sprout forth.

• 1. That an husband giue no iust offence to his wife.
• 2. That wisely he order that offence which is giuen by her.

To auoid giuing of offence he must haue respect,

• 1. To that which she doth as duty to him.
• 2. To that which he doth as duty to her.

In regard of the former two things are requisite:

• ...

• 1. That he kindly accept what she is willing and able to doe.
• 2. That he wisely commend and reward what she doth well.

Thus hauing for orders sake laid downe these heads, I will distinctly handle the seuerall points.

The first particular wherein an husband sheweth himselfe * 1.63 to be a man of knowledge in walking before his wife, is by a kinde and respectiue acceptation of euery good duty which his wife performeth. Abraham in testimony of his good acceptance of Sarahs pains in nursing her childe, made a great feast when the childe was weined: and Elkanah on a like respect gaue liberty * 1.64 to his wife to doe what seemed her best.

A great incouragement must this needs be vnto wiues to be subiect vnto their husbands in all things, when they obserue no part of their subiection to be carelesly neglected, but rather graciously accepted: it quickens the spirit of a wife to thinke that her care and pains in pleasing her husband shall not be in vaine.

§. 14. Of husbands sleighting and reiecting their wiues good∣nesse.

Contrary is their practise who thinking all which a wife * 1.65 doth to be but her duty, take little or no notice thereof; or if they cannot but take notice of it, yet lightly regard it, and sleightly passe it ouer. This oftentimes maketh a wife euen re∣pent the good she hath done, as Dauid repented the seruice * 1.66 which he had done for Nabal. The truth is that wiues ought rather to looke vnto God for his acceptation then vnto their husbands: and though their husbands will take no notice, or not regard what good thing they doe, yet for conscience sake, and for the Lords sake to doe their duty: But yet notwith∣standing considering our weaknesse and backwardnesse vnto euery duty, it can not be denied but that an husbands sleight re∣garding of his wiues goodnesse is an occasion to make her wea∣ry thereof: and that he doth as much as in him lieth to make her repent thereof.

But what may we say of such as scornfully reiect their wiues * 1.67 duty, yea like them the worse for making conscience thereof,

and so (cleane contrary to the rule of christianitie) ouercome goodnesse with euill? Surely they shew a very diabolicall spirit * 1.68 to be in them: and cannot but minister much griefe, and of∣fence to their wiues, and make that which they doe to be very irksome and tedious. Fathers ought not to prouoke their * 1.69 children, much lesse husbands their wiues.

§. 15. Of husbands * 1.70 courteous accepting their wiues reue∣rend cariage.

For the better conceiuing of this so needfull a point I will * 1.71 somewhat more particularly and distinctly applie the same to the seuerall duties of a wife: which were drawne to two heads

Reuerence.

Obedience.

For the first, if a wife manifest her dutifull respect of her * 1.72 husband by any reuerend behauiour, gesture, or speech, he ought to meet her (as we say) in the middest of the way, and manifest his gratious acceptance thereof by some like cour∣teous behauiour, gesture, and speech, being seemely, not foolish.

Obiect. Thus shall an husband abase himselfe, and disgrace his place.

Answ. The courtesie which I speake of as it commeth from a superiour, being a meere voluntary matter and a token * 1.73 of kindnesse and fauour, is no abasement of himselfe, but an aduancement of his inferiour: a great grace to her, no dis∣grace to him. Abram was counted of the Hittits a Prince of * 1.74 God, yet in communing with them he bowed vnto them. It is noted as a commendable thing in Esau, that though at that time he was his brothers superiour (at least he tooke himselfe so to be) yet obseruing how Iaakob reuerenced him, bowing seuen times to the ground, he ranne to meet him, and embraced * 1.75 him, and fell on his necke. Most pertinent to the point is the example of King Ahashverosh, who beholding Esthers reue∣rend * 1.76 standing before him, held out his Scepter vnto her, which in a King is great courtesie.

But to put the matter out of all question, let the example of Christ noted in Salomons song be obserued, and we shall finde his courtesie euery way answering the reuerence of his Spouse.

§. 15. Of husbands too great loftinesse.

Contrary is a loftie carriage of husbands to their wiues, who ouerlooke all reuerence shewed by wiues, no more re∣specting their wiues in this case, then children or seruants: or then Kings doe respect the reuerence of their subiects.

Oft haue I noted that there is a great difference betwixt a wife and all other inferiours, in which respect all euidences of reuerence should much better be respected; yet we know that Kings and Queenes will put out their hands to be kissed by their subiects when they kneele before them, which is a token of courtesie: how much more ought husbands to shew cour∣tesie? Vnworthy they are to be reuerenced of their wiues, who too Lord-like ouerlooke them.

§. 16. Of husbands * 1.77 ready yeelding to their wiues humble suits.

Againe, it being a token of reuerence in a wife humbly to * 1.78 make knowne her desire to her husband, he ought to shew so much courtesie as readily to grant her desire: this courtesie the forenamed a 1.79 Ahashuerosh afforded to Esther: b 1.80 Dauid to Bathsheba: c 1.81 Isaak to Rebekah: d 1.82 Abraham to Sarah, and ma∣ny other husbands to their wiues. e 1.83 Abraham shewed herein such respect to his wife, that though the thing which she de∣sired were grieuous to him, yet he yeelded to his wife.

Obiect. God first commanded him so to doe.

Answ. This addeth the more force vnto the argument, shewing that it is Gods expresse will, that an husband should shew this kinde of courtesie to his wife. Much more ought a man to doe at his wiues request then at any others, whether friend, childe, or parent: yea much more free, forward and cheerefull ought he to shew himselfe in granting his wiues re∣quest then any others: prouided notwithstanding that her desire be of that which may lawfully be granted: to yeeld in things vnlawfull is to lose his authoritie, as was shewed * 1.84 before.

§. 17. Of husbands harshnesse to their wiues.

Contrary is the harshnesse of their disposition who yeeld to their wiues request as an hard-milch-cow letteth downe her milke, not without much adoe: whereby the grace of all their

yeelding is taken away. There can be no courtesie in yeelding, when it is against their minde and will forced from them: their wiues must aske, and intreat againe and againe, yea be forced to vse the mediation of others to perswade their hus∣bands to yeeld to their request before they will yeeld, if at all they yeeld. What is this but to proclaime to all the world that there is no affection in them to their wiues? If a wiues breath be strange to her husband, assuredly his heart is first strange to her: which is the readie way to make him set his heart on strange women.

§. 18. Of husbands * 1.85 forbearing to exact all that they may.

As a wiues reuerence so also her obedience must be answered with her husbands courtesie. In testimony whereof, An hus∣band * 1.86 must be ready to accept that wherein his wife sheweth her selfe willing to obey him. He ought to be sparing in exacting too much of her: in this case he ought so to frame his cariage to∣wards her, as that obedience which she performeth, may ra∣ther come from her owne voluntary disposition, from a free conscience to God-wards, euen because God hath placed her in a place of subiection, and from a wiue-like loue, then from any exaction on her husbands part, and as it were by force.

Husbands ought not to exact of their wiues, whatsoeuer * 1.87 wiues ought to yeeld vnto if it be exacted. They must obserue what is lawfull, needfull, conuenient, expedient, fit for their wiues to doe, yea and what they are most willing to doe before they be too peremptorie in exacting it. For example.

1. Though the wife ought to goe with her husband, and * 1.88 dwell where he thinkes meet, yet ought not he (vnlesse by vertue of some vrgent calling he be forced thereto) remoue her from place to place, and carrie her from that place where she is well setled without her good liking. a 1.89 Iaakob consulted with his wiues, and made try all of their willingnesse, before he carried them from their fathers house.

2. Though she ought cheerefully to entertaine what guests * 1.90 he bringeth into the house, yet ought not he to be grieuous and burdensome therein vnto her: the greatest care and pains for entertaining guests lyeth on the wife: she ought therefore to be tendred therein.

If he obserue her conscionable and wise, well able to ma∣nage * 1.91 and order matters about house, yet loth to doe any thing without his consent, he ought to be ready and free in yeelding his consent, and satisfying her desire, as b 1.92, Elkanah: and if she be bashfull and backward in asking consent, he ought volunta∣rily of himselfe to offer it: yea and to giue her a generall con∣sent to order and dispose matters as in her wisdome she seeth meet, as the said Elkanah did: (Doe (saith he to his wife) what seemeth thee good:) and c 1.93 the husband of that good house∣wife which Salomon describeth.

A generall consent is especially requisite for ordering of houshold affaires: for it is a charge laid vpon wiues to d 1.94 guide the house: whereby it appeareth that the businesses of the house appertaine, and are most proper to the wife: in which respect she is called the * 1.95 hous-wife: so as therein husbands ought to referre matters to their ordering, and not restraine them in euery particular matter from doing any thing with∣out a speciall licence and direction. To exemplifie this in * 1.96 some particulars, it appertaineth in peculiar to a wife,

• 1. To e 1.97 order the decking and trimming of the house.
• 2. To f 1.98 dispose the ordinary prouision for the family.
• 3. To g 1.99 rule and gouerne maid seruants.
• 4. To h 1.100 bring vp children while they are young, with the like. These therefore ought he with a generall consent to re∣ferre to her discretion: with limitation only of these two * 1.101 cautions.

1. That she haue in some measure sufficient discretion, * 1.102 wit, and wisdome, and be not too ignorant, foolish, simple, lauish, &c.

2. That he haue a generall ouersight in all, and so interpose his authority as he suffer nothing that is vnlawfull or vnseem∣ly to be done by his wife about house, children, seruants, or other things: for

• 1. The generall charge of all lieth principally vpon him.
• 2. He shall giue an account vnto God for all things that are amisse in his house.

3. The blame of all will also before men lie vpon him.

But those two cautions prouided, he ought together with

his generall consent i 1.103 put trust in his wife, (as k 1.104 Potiphar did in Ioseph) making herein a difference betwixt a wife, and all others whether children of yeeres, friends, or seruants whom he imployeth in his affaires. Them in euery particular he may direct for matter and manner, and take a strait account of them for expences laid out, or other things done: because what they doe is wholly and only for another. To his wife (who is a ioynt parent of his children, and gouernour of his house, to whose good the husbands wealth redoundeth, and in that re∣spect doth for her selfe that which she doth for her husband) greater liberty, and licence must be giuen.

§. 19. Of husbands too much strictnesse towards their wiues.

Contrary is the rigour and austeritie of many husbands, who stand vpon the vttermost step of their authoritie, and yeeld no more to a wife then to any other inferiour. Such are they

1. Who are neuer contented or satisfied with any dutie the * 1.105 wife performeth, but euer are exacting more and more.

2. Who care not how grieuous and burdensome they are to their wiues: grieuous by bringing such guests into the house as they know cannot be welcome to them: burdensome by tu frequent, and vnseasonable inuiting of guests, or imposing o∣ther like extraordinary businesses, ouer and aboue the ordina∣ry affaires of the house. Too frequent imposing of such things, cannot but breed much wearisomnesse. Vnseasonable (as when the wife is weake by sicknesse, childe-bearing, giuing sucke or other like meanes, and so not able to giue that contentment which otherwise she would) cannot but much disquiet her, and giue her great offence.

3. Who hold their wiues vnder as if they were children or seruants, restraining them from doing any thing without their knowledge and particular expresse consent.

4. Who are ouer busie in prying into euery businesse of the house, and will haue their hand in all. Besides that such hus∣bands afford no opportunity to their wiues of giuing proofe of that vnderstanding, wit, wisdome, care, and other gifts which God hath endowed them withall, they take away that maine end for which a wife was giuen a man, namely, to be a••

helpe. Such husbands cannot but neglect other more weighty * 1.106 matters, which more properly belong vnto them. For obserue it and you shall finde, that such husbands as are most busie about the priuate affaires of the house appertaining to their wiues, are most negligent of such affaires as appertaine vnto themselues: they thinke they walke in integrity, but yet are they not iust nor wise therein: for the iust man walketh in HIS inte∣grity, * 1.107 and the wisdome of the prudent is to vnderstand HIS way: (i.) that integrity which appertaineth to his owne peculiar place; and his owne way: but euery foole will be medling, name∣ly, with things not belonging to his place. * 1.108

5. Who are ouer suspicious of their wiues, and thereupon ouer strickt in taking account of them. S. Paul calleth surmi∣zes * 1.109 euill, and that not without iust cause: for euill they are in their nature, and euill in their effects, being occasions of many mischiefes: but in none so euill as in husbands ouer their wiues. If a wiues fidelity (to whose good the welfare of the family, and increase of the stocke redoundeth as well as to the hus∣bands) be without iust cause suspected, who shall be trusted? It is the ouerthrow of many families, that seruants are trusted, and not wiues.

Thus farre of an husbands kinde acceptance of that which his wife is willing and able to doe.

§. 20. Of Husbands encouraging their wiues in good things.

The loue which an husband oweth to his wife, further re∣••uireth * 1.110 that he wisely commend and reward what she hath well ••one. That which the Apostle faith of the Magistrates authori∣ty, may fitly be applied to an husbands in relation to his wife, Doe that which is good, and thou shalt haue praise of the same. It is expresly noted in the description of a good husband, * 1.111 ••hat he praiseth his wife: and in that he saith, c 1.112 Giue her of the * 1.113 ••uit of her hands, it is implied also that he rewardeth her.

This is an vndoubted euidence of his good acceptance of ••er duty, and a further incouragement to stir her vp to goe on and continue in well doing. Yea this is also an euidence of his by and delight both in her person, and also in her well doing. 〈◊〉〈◊〉 there be no delight in ones person, well doing will rather

stir vp enuy then ioy: and they that enuy a mans well doing, will neuer commend, or reward him for it.

In an husbands commending of his wife this caueat must be put: that he so order his commendation as it sauour not of flattery, or dotage: nor yet * 1.114 stir vp lust or enuy in others.

§. 21. Of husbands vngratefull discouraging their wiues.

Contrary is an vngratefull, if not enuious disposition of such * 1.115 husbands, as passing by many good things ordinarily and vsu∣ally euery day done by their wiues without any approbation, commendation or remuneration, are ready to dispraise the least slip, or neglect in them; and that in such generall termes as if they neuer did any thing well, so as their wiues may well com∣plaine and say as it is in the prouerbe,

Oft did I well, and that heare I neuer:

Once did I ill, and that heare I euer.

Yet such will be ready to praise other mens wiues, and vp braid their owne wiues with the examples of those other, when their owne doe farre excell them in all kinde of goodnesse. What doth this shew but that either they take no notice of their own wiues goodnesse, or else by reason of the commonnesse there∣of little regard it? If their wiues haue not the more grace in them, this disposition is enough not only to discourage them from doing any good duty, but also to breed iealousie in them, and to alienate their hearts from them.

§. 22. Of an husbands * 1.116 mildnesse.

Hitherto of that respect which an husband is to haue of that duty which his wife performeth to him.

For auoiding iust offence, an husband must further haue good respect to that which as duty he doth to his wife. As kindly he must accept duty at his wiues hands, so mildly he must performe that * 1.117 duty which he oweth to her.

This mildnesse is an especiall fruit, and euidence of loue, and a notable meanes to take away all offence that otherwise might be taken from many things which he doth. Sugar and Hony are not more pleasant to the tongue, then mildnesse to the heart; it causeth such things as otherwise are irksome and grieuous to the soule, to be well taken and applied, euen as bitter pils dipt in sweet syrrop, or rolled vp in the soft pap of

an apple, are soone swallowed downe and well digested. If an husband desire to be accounted a seruant of the Lord he must learne this lesson: For the seruant of the Lord must be gentle to all men. If any other seruant of the Lord, much more hus∣bands: * 1.118 if to all men, most of all to their wiues: and that in ma∣ny respects.

• 1. Because of the neere vnion betwixt man and wife.
• 2. Because of the ioynt authority she hath with him ouer others: that herein he may be a president and example to her.
• 3. Because of her weaknesse: glasses are tenderly handled: a small knocke soone breakes them.

§. 23. Of husbands bitternesse.

Contrary is bitternesse, a vice expresly forbidden, and that in particular to husbands. A vice that cannot stand with an hus∣band-like loue: whereupon the Apostle commanding the one forbiddeth the other, Loue (saith he) and be not bitter. Nothing * 1.119 more turneth the edge of his authority, peruerteth the vse of his gouernment, prouoketh the stomacke of his wife, maketh his words and deeds lesse regarded, then bitternesse. It is as gall and wormwood mixed with sweet and wholesome meats, which causeth that they cannot be well digested, but with vio∣lence are spit out againe so soone as euer they be tasted. Men in authority are much prone hereunto: and therefore O husbands be so much the more watchfull against it, loue your wiues and be not bitter vnto them.

§. 24. Of the * 1.120 Titles which an husband giueth to his wife.

The forenamed mildenesse of an hus∣band must be manifested in his	Speech,
Cariage.

For so far as reuerence extends it selfe in the duties of wiues, must mildnesse be extended in the duties of husbands.

Whether an husbands speech be to his wife before her face, or of her * 1.121 behinde her backe, it must be sweetned with mild∣nesse.

1. For his speech to her, 1. The titles wherewith he cal∣leth her. 2. The instructions which he giueth her. 3. The commandements which he layeth vpon her. 4. The reproofes wherewith he checketh her, must all be mixed with mildnesse.

Among other titles, the most ordinary and vsuall title (wife) * 1.122

is a milde and kinde title, and least offensiue of all other: if an husband giue any other title to his wife, it must be such an one as manifesteth kindnesse, familiaritie, loue, and delight. Such are all the titles which Christ giueth to the Church, as Spouse, Loue, Doue, with the like. I doe not deny but that in the Song of Salomon, and in other places of Scripture many titles are giuen and speeches vsed by Christ to the Church which are not meet to be vsed by husbands to their wiues, be∣cause they are metaphoricall, and hyperbolicall: but yet in them all we may obserue tokens of amiablenesse, kindnesse, and mildnesse, which is the end for which I haue alledged his example.

But contrary are such titles as on the one side set the wife * 1.123 in too high a place ouer her husband, as Lady, Mistresse, Dame, Mother, &c. And on the other side set her in too meane a rancke, as woman, wench, &c. And their Christian names contracted, as Sal, Mal, Besse, Nan. &c. and names of kindred, as Sister, and Cosen: and, opprobrious names, as stut, drab, queant; and names more befitting beasts then wiues, as Cole, Browne, Muggle, &c.

Obiect. These are titles of mildnesse, kindnesse, and much familiarity: for husbands call their wiues by these names, not when they are angry with them and displeased, but ordinarily, and vsually, euen when they are best pleased.

Answ. The mildnesse and familiarity which is required of an husband must be such as may stand with his authority and place of eminency (as some of those names doe not,) and with that neere coniunction which is betwixt man and wife about all others (as other doe not,) and with Christian grauity and discretion (as other doe not.) Christians therefore must take heed that by their practise they iustifie not corrupt customes.

§. 25. Of an husbands manner of instructing his wife.

2. To instruction the Apostle expresly annexeth meeknesse, * 1.124 Instruct (saith he) with meekenesse, those that oppose themselues. If ministers must vse meekenesse when they instruct their peo∣ple, much more husbands when they instruct their wiues: if * 1.125 in case of opposition meekenesse must not be laid aside, then in no case, at no time.

In this case to manifest meekenesse, let these rules be ob∣serued. * 1.126

1. Note the vnderstanding and capacity of thy wife, and accordingly fit thine instructions: if she be of meane capacity, giue precept vpon precept, line vpon line, here a little and there a little: a little at once oft giuen (namely euery day some∣thing) will arise in time to a great measure, and so arise, as, to∣gether with knowledge of the thing taught, loue of the person that teacheth will increase.

2. Instruct her in priuate betwixt thy selfe and her, that so her ignorance may not be blazed forth: priuate actions pas∣sing betwixt man and wife are tokens of much kindnesse and familiarity.

3. In the family so instruct children and seruants when she is present, as she may learne knowledge thereby: there can be no more meeke and gentle manner of instructing, then by one to instruct another.

4. Together with thy precepts mixe sweet and pithy per∣swasions, * 1.127 which are testimonies of great loue.

Contrary is an harsh and rough manner of instructing, when husbands goe about to thrust into their wiues heads, as it were by violence, deepe mysteries which they are not able to conceiue, and yet if they conceiue not, they will be angry with them, and in anger giue them euill language, and proclaime their ignorance before children, seruants, and stran∣gers. This harshnesse is ordinarily so fruitlesse, and withall so exasperateth a womans spirit, as I thinke he were better cleane omit the duty then doe it after such a manner.

§. 26. Of an husbands manner of * 1.128 commanding his wife any thing.

3. The commandements which an husband giueth to his wife, whether they be affirmatiue (bidding her to doe some∣thing) or negatiue (forbidding her to doe this or that) must all be seasoned with mildnesse. For which end respect must be had to the matter and manner of his commandements.

In regard of the matter the things which he commandeth * 1.129 his wife to doe, must be

• 1. Such as are indeed lawfull and honest.
• ...

• 2. Such as she is perswaded to be so.
• 3. Such as beseeme her place.
• 4. Such as are of weight and moment.

And on the contrary, the things which he forbiddeth must be

• 1. Such as are indeed vnlawfull to be done. * 1.130
• 2. Such as he can euidently proue vnto her to be vnlawfull.
• 3. Such as are vnbeseeming her place.
• 4. Such as will haue some euill and mischieuous effect if they be done.

1. To command a thing vnlawfull, or forbid a thing which ought to be done, is to bring his owne authority into oppo∣sition with Gods: in which case he bringeth his wife into this strait, either to reiect Gods commandement or his. How then can she thinke that her husband loueth her, when he bringeth her into such snares and straits, that she must needs fall into the gulfe of Gods displeasure, or knocke against the rocke of her husbands offence? Mildnesse is farre from such commandements.

2. The like may be said of such things as to a wiues con∣science * 1.131 seeme to be sinnefull, if they be enioyned to her; or her bounden duty, if they be forbidden: especially if she haue any ground for her conscience out of Gods word. The con∣science is subiect to God alone: if it be forced it will be a feare∣full horror, and a very hell in that party whose conscience is forced: She that doubteth is condemned if she doe that whereof * 1.132 she maketh doubt.

1. Obiect. In doubtfull matters the commanding power * 1.133 of a gouernour is sufficient warrant and ground to resolue the conscience of them that are vnder authority.

Answ. 1. In things meerely doubtfull concerning which the partie in subiection hath not warrant out of Gods word one way or other, it may be so. But when the conscience doth not doubt and hang in suspence, but is out of some ground taken from Gods word perswaded that that which is com∣manded is vnlawfull, or that which is forbidden is a bounden dutie, then to doe this, or to leaue that vndone, is to the party so perswaded a sinne: and this is the doubting (whereof the

Apostle speaketh) that condemneth a man. In this case to vrge a wife to doe this, or not to doe that, is to vrge her to sinne: which a milde spirit and louing heart will not doe.

2. Though the husbands command be sufficient warrant to the wife, and if he peremptorily presse her to this or that, she ought to yeeld, yet the loue and mildnesse required of an husband should make him so to tender her as to remit some∣thing of his power, and when he seeth her conscience troub∣led about his command, to releeue her conscience by for bea¦ring to presse that which seemeth so burthensome to her. A husband may sinne in pressing that too much vpon his wife, which she vpon his pressing may without sinne yeeld vnto.

§. 27. Of an husbands * 1.134 wise carriage when his wife is erro∣neeusly scrupulous.

2. Obiect. What if an husband vpon his knowledge ob∣serue his wife to be erroneously scrupulous, and to misinter∣pret and misapply the word of God which she maketh the ground of her scruple?

Answ. He must first labour to resolue her conscience by a plaine discouery of her error; which is a true and a great token of loue: if notwithstanding all that he can doe in that kinde she cannot be brought to yeeld to that which he would haue, then he must carefully obserue these two things.

• 1. Whether her refusing to yeeld, be an obstinacy, or weakenesse.
• 2. Whether it be about a sleight or weighty matter.

By the reasons which she rendreth, and her manner of pres∣sing * 1.135 them, he may discerne whether weakenesse or obstinacy make her stand out against him: if the reason which she resteth on taken from Gods word be doubtfull, and to one that hath not a good sound iudgement, and a sharpe discerning wit, it may appeare to make something for her, it is to be presup∣posed that there is more weakenesse then stoutnesse in her. But if she can render no good reason, but only take euery shew that any way seemeth to incline to her words, and perempto∣rily holdeth the conclusion, and stifly standeth on her owne resolution, though the vanity of her pretences be euidently discouered to her, so as she hath not any thing further to ob∣iect;

or if she render no reason at all but her owne thought, conceit and will, and yet refuseth to yeeld, surely obstinacy possesseth her heart. In case of obstinacy it is very expedient that an husband stand vpon his power to maintaine his au∣thority, and by the best wisdome he can (vsing only such meanes as are lawfull) bring her to yeeld from her stoutnesse to that which he requireth: especially if the matter be weighty: as in case a religious man haue been maried to a Po∣pish wife, and she by no reason will be moued to forbeare go∣ing to Masse, or yeeld to goe to the preaching of the Gospell. But if through weakenesse she cannot be perswaded of the lawfulnesse of that her husband requireth, and the matter re∣quired be of no great consequence, nor the weakenesse of her conscience cause any great error, an husband ought so farre to manifest his mildnesse as to forbeare to presse her con∣science.

§. 28. Of an husbands * 1.136 forbearing to presse things vnbeseeming a wiues place.

3. Things vnbeseeming the place of a wife are dishonourable vnto her: for an husband to vrge his wife by strict charge to doe them, implieth more rigorousnesse then mildnesse. Had the spi∣rit of that stout Monarch Ahashuerosh beene more milde towards his wife, he would not haue so farre pressed his wife vnto so vn∣seemly a thing as he did, namely, to come before all his Princes and people to make shew of her beautie. It is true indeed (as we shewed * 1.137 before) that she offended in refusing to yeeld thereunto, he peremptorily requiring it; but that offence on her part doth not justifie his fact, and free him from all blame: it is noted, that he was merry with wine, when he gaue that commandement, * 1.138 whereby is intimated, that his practise was more beseeming a drunken, then a sober man: such is their practise who exact of their wiues to doe such businesses as beseeme maid-seruants ra∣ther then wiues, or strumpets rather then honest women; as to goe to tauernes, ale-houses, play-houses, and such places where light companions be.

§. 29. Of an husbands pressing his authoritie in weighty matters.

4. To vse a mans authoritie about weightie matters, matters of moment, maketh it to haue such weight in it, as it will much bet∣ter

be regarded: for thus a wife will either be brought to yeeld vnto that which is commanded, or to condemne her selfe for not yeelding: yea thus a wife may see, that it is not his owne will so much which maketh him to vse his authoritie in commanding, as the necessitie of the thing it selfe, which redoundeth especially to her good that doth it: for the performance of a dutie is for the most part most aduantageable to the partie that performeth it, so as hereby an husband sheweth loue to his wife in pressing that which he presseth.

This token of loue that it may the better appeare, it is behoue∣full * 1.139 that an husband adde to his commandement iust & weightie reasons, that thereby his wife may the better discerne the meet∣nesse, lawfulnesse, expediencie, and necessitie of the things com∣manded. We know that all the things which God commandeth are weightie and necessarie: yea his will (being the very rule, and ground of all goodnesse) maketh things absolutely necessarie, yet vnto his commandements he vseth to adde weightie reasons; shewing on the one side the benefit and blessednesse that will come to such as obey his commandements; and on the other side, the mischiefe and miserie that will fall on their pates who re∣fuse to obey; whereby he sheweth the great good respect which he beareth to vs, and the earnest desire he hath of our good. Thus may an husband euen in his commandements shew much loue and kindnesse.

§. 30. Of husbands too great pride in commanding.

Contrary is the peremptorie pride of husbands, when they will haue their owne will done: it booteth not whether the thing commanded be lawfull or vnlawfull, whether their wiues consci∣ences can yeeld vnto it or no, whether it stand with the honour of their places or no, and whether it be weightie or light; their will it is it should be done, and done it shall be, there is all the reason they will giue. Some thinke it a glory to command what they list; and thinke that there is no proofe of their authoritie, and of their wiues subiection, but in such things as vpon their own will, without any further ground or reason, they command. If such husbands meet with confronts; if though they command much, they finde not answerable performance; they may thanke them∣selues,

who runne the ready course to haue their authoritie con∣temned and euen troden vnder foot.

§. 31. Of husbands rare and milde vsing their commanding power.

Respect must be had by husbands to the manner of vsing their authoritie in commanding as well as to the matter.

In regard of the manner his commandements must be

• 1. Rare, not too frequent.
• 2. By way of intreating, not too peremptorie.

Authoritie is like a sword, which with ouer much vsing will * 1.140 be blunted, and so faile to doe that seruice which otherwise it might when there is most need. A wise, graue, peaceable man, may alwayes haue his sword in readinesse, and that also very bright, keene, and sharpe: but he will not be very ready to plucke it out of his scabberd; he rather keepeth it for a time of need, when it should stand him in most steed. Such husbands therefore as are too frequent in their commands, shew themselues nor graue, nor wise, nor louers of peace.

As the vse of an husbands authoritie in commanding must be * 1.141 rare, so when there is occasion to vse it, it must be with such mild∣nesse and moderation tempered, so as (according to Saint Pauls example) though he haue power to command that which is conuenient, yet for loues sake he rather intreat it. Note how mildly Abram frameth his speech to his wife, Say I pray thee * 1.142 (saith he) thou art my sister. Though the thing he required fa∣uoured of too much weaknesse, yet his manner of requiring it was well beseeming a kinde husband.

§. 32. Of husbands insolencie and peremptorinesse.

Contrary is the insolencie of many, who cannot speake to their wiues, but in commanding-wise. Their authoritie is like a swag∣gerers sword, which cannot long rest in the sheath, but vpon euery small occasion is drawne forth. This frequent vse of comman∣ding, maketh their commandements nought regarded. The like may be said of them who are too peremptorie in commanding: there must be no saying of nay, to that which they say: vpon com∣mand they will haue their minde done, and no other way: no perswasion, no intreatie shall be vsed: they will rather not at all haue their will done, then not vpon absolute command: nay they

will not suffer others, in case of any refusall, to intreat, or per∣swade, but will try what absolutely they can doe by authoritie. Thus as by trying to bend steele how farre it will goe, it oft breaketh; so by putting their authoritie to the vttermost triall, they oft lose all their authoritie: in which case the mends (as we speake) is in their owne hands.

§. 33. Of an husbands * 1.143 reprouing his wife.

4. The authoritie and charge which God hath giuen to an husband ouer his wife, doe require that as good and iust occa∣sion is offered, he should reproue her: for this is an especiall meanes to draw her from those sinnes, wherein otherwise shee might liue and lie, yea and die also; and so liue, lie, and die vnder Gods wrath: out of which miserie and wretchednesse to free a wife, is as great a token of loue, as to pull her out of the wa∣ter when she is in danger of drowning, or out of the fire when she is in danger of burning. Solomon thus stileth reproofes, a 1.144 reproofes of life, and expresly noteth b 1.145 reproofes to be the way of life, a meanes to breed and preserue spirituall life, and to bring one vn∣to eternall life, and so to escape death and damnation. In these re∣spects rebukes are called a pretious balme, or excellent oyle, which may heale a wound, but make none: it c 1.146 breaketh not the head, as the Psalmist speaketh. Vpon this ground, no doubt, it is noted of many good husbands, who were without all question, louing, kinde, meeke, and milde husbands, that they reproued their wiues: as d 1.147 Iaakob, e 1.148 Iob, f 1.149 Dauid, and others.

§. 34. Of neglecting reproofe.

Contrary is a seruile and timorous minde of many husbands, who are loth to offend, and (as they thinke) to prouoke their wiues; and thereupon chuse rather to let them continue in sinne, then tell them of it. Wherein they both dishonour their place, and the image of God, which by vertue of their place they carry, and also in effect and in truth hate their wiues; which the Law impli∣eth, where it saith, Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart, * 1.150 but shalt plainly rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sinne vpon him.

§. 35. Of * 1.151 well ordering reproofe in the matter thereof.

That an husband may euidently demonstrate that his repro∣uing of his wife is indeed a fruit of his loue, he must haue an espe∣ciall

care to sweeten it, especially with mildnesse: for it is the bit∣terest pill that by an husband can be giuen to a wife. It is a verball correction, & in that respect a middle meanes (as I may so speake) betwixt admonition and correction; partaking somewhat of both: it goeth no further then words, and so is an admonition: the words of a reproofe are sharpe, and so it is a correction: though it be but a milde correction, yet it is a sharpe admonition; and all the cor∣rection which by himselfe an husband can giue his wife: for we shall * 1.152 after shew that he may not proceed to blowes, and strokes.

To sweeten reproofe with mildnesse respect must be had (as be∣fore was noted of commanding) both to the matter, and also to the manner thereof.

The matter of reproofe must be * 1.153	1. Iust.
2. Weightie.

Iustice requireth that it be a truth, and a knowne truth, euen a thing whereof he is assured, for which he reproueth his wife. Christ in giuing direction for reprouing aright, layeth downe this as a ground, If thy brother shall trespasse, &c. a trespasse * 1.154 therefore must goe before reproofe: where no trespasse is, there reproofe is vniust.

Againe, the Apostle aduiseth that an accusation should not * 1.155 be receiued but vnder two, or three witnesses; whereby he im∣plieth that a light report must not be receiued, but where blame is laid, there must be two or three witnesses to confirme it, so as he that censureth may haue good and sure ground for that which he doth: indeed that aduise was in particular gi∣uen about an elder, but from the lesse to the greater it will fol∣low to be a good aduise concerning wiues: for no kinde of person must be more warie in laying blame vpon another and reproouing for the same, then an husband on his wife.

Equitie further requireth that the matter for which an hus∣band * 1.156 reproueth his wife be weightie; namely for some fault that is dangerous to her soule, hurtfull to their estate, contagi∣ous by reason of ill example to children, and others in the family, but most of all for sinne against God which prouoketh his wrath, and pulleth downe his heauie curse vpon him, her, and the whole family.

When that for which a wife is reproued is a truth, a knowne

truth, and a weightie truth, the husband in performing this dutie iustifieth his deed, sheweth that there was need thereof, and so giueth euidence of his loue, maketh his reproofe to pierce the more deeply, and so maketh her the more ashamed of her fault; whence it will follow, that either she will amend her fault or at least will haue her mouth stopped, so as she shall haue nothing to except against it. The reproofe of the three Saints before mentioned, m 1.157 Iaakob, n 1.158 Iob, and o 1.159 Dauid, were answerable to these points of Iustice and wisdome: and the effects thereof answerable to those which we haue noted in this reason, as the silence of the three wiues implieth: for none of them replied againe.

§. 36. Of vndue reproofe.

Contrary to the forenamed Iustice and equitie are ouer∣light * 1.160 credulitie and vndue suspicion. Credulitie is when cre∣dence is giuen to euery light report, and thereupon blame laid vpon the wife before any iust proofe be made of that for which she is blamed: whereby it oft commeth to passe, that she is wrongfully and vniustly blamed: which if she be, what good fruit can proceed from such reproofes? yea what euill fruits are not like to proceed from thence, as secret discon∣tent (if not malice and hatred) and open contentions and brawlings?

The like may be said of light and causelesse suspicion, which * 1.161 is the mother of iealousie, and the very bane of mariage, from whence the deuill taketh great aduantage against them both, seeking thereby to vnloose that knot which God hath so firm∣ly knit betwixt them. Suspicion to the minde is as a colou∣red glasse to the eie, which representeth things to the sight not as indeed they are in their owne true colour, but as the colour of the glasse is. Suspicion will make a man peruert euery thing that his wife doth, and blame her many times for such things as are praise-worthy: in which case what can be thought, but that an husband seeketh aduantage against his wife, rather then any good vnto her?

If to those two forenamed vices (credulity and suspicion) he * 1.162 ••dde rashnesse and hastinesse in reprouing, and make euery ••mall and light matter which any way he disliketh, matter of

reproofe, doth he not proclaime to all that shall know it, that he loues chiding more then he loues his wife? Yea is not this the ready way to make all his reproofe (if not scorned) lightly regarded? What then will be the profit of them?

§. 37. Whether an husband may reprooue his wife for such things as he is guilty of.

To the matter of reproofe some adde, that an husband ought not to reproue his wife for that fault whereof he him∣selfe is guiltie: but I make doubt of this direction. I denie not but that he ought to haue an especiall care that he be not guiltie of that crime for which he blameth his wife; other∣wise, 1. he blunteth the edge of his reproofe, so as readily it cannot peirce into her heart. 2. He causeth it to rebound backe againe vpon himselfe with these reproches, Physitian healethy * 1.163 selfe: Hypocrite first cast the beame out of thine owne eye. Thou that teachest another teachest thou not thy selfe? 3. He is an heauy witnesse against himselfe; for in that he iudgeth another he condemneth himselfe. But thereupon to infer, that because he is guiltie of such vices as are in his wife, he ought not to reproue her though she be worthy to be reproued, is scarse sound and good diuinitie: for thus he maketh himselfe guilty of a double fault, one of committing the sinne himselfe, the other of suffering his wife to lie therein: whereas if he repro∣ued his wife, he might thereby reclaime both her and him∣selfe: for I doubt not but his reprouing of his wife would strike deeper into his owne conscience then if a third should reproue them both. How were Iudah and Dauid stroken to * 1.164 the heart after they had giuen sentence against such crimes as they themselues were guiltie of? It is a good aduice that no man be guiltie of that which he reproueth in his wife, but it is no good rule to say, no man ought to reproue his wife of that whereof he is guiltie.

§. 38. Of well ordering reproofe in the manner thereof,

Like directions to those which were giuen for the manner * 1.165 of commanding must be obserued in the manner of reprouing.

Reproofes therefore must be	Rare.
Meeke.

When reproofes are seldome vsed, not but vpon vrgent and * 1.166

necessary occasion, 1. It sheweth that an husband taketh no delight in rebuking his wife, but is euen forced thereto. 2. It maketh his wife much more regard it. 3. It is like to worke a more perfect cure, for seldome and rare reproofes doe com∣monly peirce most deeply.

Contrary is continuall chiding, and finding fault with a * 1.167 wife for euery thing amisse: if not only the wife her selfe, but a childe, or seruant, or any else in the house doe amisse, the wife shall be blamed for it. This is too common a fault in hus∣bands: whereby they much prouoke their wiues; yea and many times make them no more regard a reproofe then any other word. For as birds which alwaies abide in Belfries where much ringing is, are not a whit afrighted with their lowd sound; so wiues who haue their eares from time to time filled with their husbands rebuke, by vse are brought, nothing at all to be moued therewith.

2. That a reproofe must be giuen in meeknesse is cleere by * 1.168 the Apostles generall precept of restoring one in the spirit of meeknesse: for a right manner of reprouing is thereby particu∣larly intended. Now of all with whom we haue to doe, no fitter obiect for meeknesse then a wife, who in a more peculiar manner then any other is thine owne flesh.

Meeknesse hath respect both to secrecie of place, and to softnesse of words.

When an husband is alone with his wife, then is the fittest * 1.169 season for reproofe: thus will reproofe be answerable to Christs direction: tell him his fault betweene thee and him alone (saith Christ of a brother:) but no brother must be tendred more then a wife. Thus will it also soake better into her soule, when no conceit of dishonour and discredit shall arise vp to hinder the worke of it: which conceits will be ready to arise when a reproofe is giuen in publike before others. Thus like∣wise will occasion be taken away from children and seruants of despising her: which otherwise they would quickly take, ••f before them she should be rebuked; gathering from thence, ••hat she is kept vnder as much as they: now because she is with him a ioynt gouernour of them, he ought by all meanes to maintaine her reputation before them.

1. Quest. What if she regard not a rebuke in secret? * 1.170

Answ. He may follow Christs direction, Take one or two more, namely wise, graue, faithfull friends, if it may be, of her kindred, as her parents (if she haue any liuing) or such as are in course of nature next to parents (if they be not partiall on her side) and before them rebuke her: but by no meanes be∣fore any of the house vnder her gouernment.

2. Quest. What if her fault be publicke, such an one as * 1.171 may be an ill example to them of the house, it being commit∣ted in their sight, or brought some other way to their know∣ledge?

Answ. Wisely he must so manifest his dislike of her fault, as he no way impaire her honour: he may therefore declare that such a thing was not well done, and fore-warne his houshold of committing the like; yea roundly threaten them that if any of them doe the like they shall dearely repent it; and if such as are vnder correction offend therein, the more surely and se∣uerely correct them, euen because they haue taken example. Thus shall he testifie a great good respect of his wife, and also a thorow dislike and hatred of her sinne.

2. A soft tongue (as Salomon noteth) breaketh the bones, * 1.172 that is, softneth an hard heart, and beateth downe a stout sto∣macke. How will it then worke vpon a soft heart, and gentle disposition? If therefore an husband looke to doe good by re∣prouing his wife, his reproofe must be so ordered, as it may seeme to be rather a gentle admonition, then a sharpe rebuke. He may and ought plainly to declare her fault vnto her, but in milde and meeke tearmes, without reuiling, opprobrious and ignominious words.

Quest. What if her fault be an heinous notorious sinne?

Answ. In an extraordinary case some sharpnesse may be * 1.173 vsed: as the reproofes of Iaakob, Iob, and Dauid doe shew, for they were euery one of them sharpe: but yet this sharpnesse must not be made bitter by any euill language. A womans wickednesse may not moue an husband to be froward, and * 1.174 outragious; but rather to be the more watchfull ouer himselfe, that he containe himselfe within the bounds of discretion and moderation. For which end it is meete that husbands lay it

downe for a rule, neuer to rebuke their wiues when they are in passion. Passion raiseth a darke mist before the eies of reason; which, while it remaineth, keepeth reason from giuing any good direction. Yea passion is as a fire, and it so incenseth a man, and distempereth him, that in his disorder he can keepe no meane or measure. Howsoeuer a man be not able to rule himselfe when passion is stirred vp, yet, if before hand while his eie is single, and his whole body light, while he is in tune (as we * 1.175 speake) and well tempered, he resoluedly determine with himselfe not to doe such or such a thing in his passion; that fore-going resolution will be an especiall means to make him forbeare doing that in passion, which if he should doe, he could not in passion well order and moderate. For if once he begin to doe a thing in passion, the least prouocation that can be, will be as bellowes to blow vp that fire into a flame.

In regard of the violence of passion (wherein women by * 1.176 reason of the weaknesse of their iudgement are for the most part most violent) it is also the part of a wise man to forbeare this duty of reprouing his wife euen when she is in passion. For as it is needfull that he should be in case well to giue a re∣proofe, so as needfull it is that she should be in case well to take a rebuke. Passion both filleth and festereth ones heart. The heart then being full of passion, what roome is left for good aduice? will a man powre wine into a vessell full of water, or stay, till all the water be dreaned out?

The heart also being so festered as it sauoureth of nothing but passion, what good can then good aduice doe?

It is therefore an especiall point of wisdome, and sheweth a good respect that a man beareth to his wife, yea it sauoureth of much meeknesse and moderation for an husband, well to weigh both his owne and his wiues temper when he repro∣ueth her, and to forbeare doing it while either he or she be in passion.

§. 39. Of vndiscreet reproouing a wife.

Contrary is the indiscretion of husbands who regard nor place, nor persons, nor time, nor temper of themselues or their wiues, nor any other circumstance in reprouing, but like Saul (who at a table where a great feast was, in presence of his No∣bles

and Captaines, when he was inraged with anger, with most virulent and bitter speeches not rebuked onely but re∣proached also his sonne, and that with such words as he spared not his owne wife; for in his passion he called his sonne, sonne * 1.177 of the peruerse rebellious woman:) like this foolish and furious Saul, I say, they take the most open place of the family before children, seruants, and whole house, to reproue their wiues; and that with such bitter and disgracefull termes, as either they prouoke their wiues to answer againe for maintaining (as they thinke) their owne credit and reputation, (thus Ionathan * 1.178 was prouoked to answer his father againe:) or else giue them of the house that behold her thus trampled vnder foot, occasion to set their feet also vpon her.

Most husbands are forward enough to reproue, but few doe it in meeknesse, and moderation. They cannot doe it but in company, nor without bitter words. Many in rebuking their wiues, sticke not to vse all the euill termes that they can thinke of, euen such as tend not only to their wiues dishonour, but also to their owne and their childrens infamy. The reason whereof is, because they neuer rebuke but when they are in passion, and so scarse know what they doe: whereby also they stirre vp passion in their wiues, and yet for all that refraine not any whit the more, but rather grow more violent: as when the heat of two fires meet together, the flame must needs be the greater. This being the preposterous practise of many husbands, is it any maruell that ordinarily so little good, and so much hurt is done by reprouing? Nay, would it not be a wonder, if any good, and no hurt should be done thereby? This therefore though it be a duty, yet a dutie rarely and with great moderation to be vsed.

Thus farre of an husbands mildnesse in his speeches to his wife.

§. 40. Of an husbands * 1.179 amiable countenance towards his wife.

An husbands cariage towards his wife must be answerable * 1.180 to his speech, or else all the mildnesse thereof will seeme but complementall.

A mans cariage compriseth vnder it, his Countenance, Ge∣sture, Actions: in all which must mildnesse be seated.

1. His countenance in his wiues presence, and towards his * 1.181 wife, must be composed to an amiable pleasantnesse. His au∣thority ouer her, and eminencie aboue her, may not make him forget the neere coniunction and vnion betwixt them.

Vnder the face and countenance I comprise head, brow, eies, lips and such other parts which are, according as they are framed, signes of amiablenesse, or discontentednesse. Now a∣mong, and aboue other parts of the body, the outward compo∣sition of the countenance doth soonest and best declare the in∣ward disposition of the heart. By Esaus pleasant countenance Iaakob perceiued that he was pacified in his heart towards him, and thereupon said, I haue seene thy face as though I had * 1.182 seene the face of God, that is, an amiable, gracious countenance. On this ground Dauid desired God, to lift vp the light of his * 1.183 countenance vpon him, that thereby he might know the fauour and loue of God towards him. On the other side by a frow∣ning and lowring face, by hanging downe the head, putting out the lips, with the like, anger, malice, griefe, with other like affections of heart, are manifested: by Caines casting downe * 1.184 of his countenance God discerned anger and enuy to be in his heart: by Labans countenance Iaakob obserued that his affe∣ction * 1.185 was turned from him. A wife then beholding mild∣nesse and amiablenesse in her husbands face, beholds it as the face of God, and therein as in a looking glasse beholds the kindnesse and loue of his heart, and so hath her heart there∣by the more firmely knit vnto him, and is moued the more to respect him.

§. 41. Of husbands too great austeritie.

Contrary is 1. A loftie proud countenance, as of an imperi∣ous * 1.186 Lord ouer his vassals.

2. A grim sterne countenance, as of a iudge ouer poore prisoners. * 1.187

3. A lowring frowning countenance, as of a discontented * 1.188 ••reditor ouer a desperate debtor.

4. A fierce fiery countenance, as of an angry King ouer a * 1.189 ••biect that hath displeased him.

These and such like countenances as they manifest a proud, stout, furious discontented disposition of heart, so they cannot but giue great discontent to a wife, yea and much affright her being but a weake vessell, and alienate her heart and affection from him.

§. 42. Of an husbands familiar gesture with his wife.

II. An husbands gesture ought to be so familiar, and amia∣ble * 1.190 towards his wife, as others may discerne him to be her husband, and his wife may be prouoked to be familiar with him. They which this way are ready to shew themselues kind and milde husbands, are prone to exceed and so to fall into an extreame on the right hand: for some are neuer well but when they haue their wiues in their laps, euer colling, kissing, and dallying with them, they care not in what company; thus they shew more lightnesse, fondnesse, and dotage, then true kind∣nesse and loue, which forgetteth not an husband-like grauity, sobriety, modesty and decency.

Some sticke not to alledge Isaacks sporting with Rebeckah, to * 1.191 countenance their lasciuiousnesse. * 1.192

But they forget that what Isaak did, was when he and his * 1.193 wife were alone: he was seene through a window. Much greater liberty is granted to man and wife when they are alone, then in company. Besides there are many other waies to shew kindnesse and familiarity, then by lightnesse and wantonnesse.

§. 43. Of an husbands strangenesse to his wife.

Contrary to the familiaritie I speake of, is (as we speake) strangenesse, when an husband so carrieth himselfe towards his wife as if she were a stranger to him: if he come in cōpany where his wife is, of all other women he will not turne to her, nor take notice of her. This fault is so much the greater if such a man be of a free pleasant cariage, and vse to be merry and familiar with other women. Though his mirth and familiarity be such as is not vnbeseeming a Christian, yet his cariage being of a∣nother temper towards his wife, it may be a meanes to breed iealousie in her. Many thinke outward kinde gesture towards

wife to be fondnesse, but if they knew what a meanes it is to stirre vp, increase, and preserue loue in a wiues heart to her husband, they would be otherwise minded.

§. 43. Of an husbands giuing fauours to his wife.

III. Actions are of all other the most reall demonstrations of true kindnesse, wherein an husband must not faile, as he would haue his kinde speech, countenance, and gesture to be taken in the better part. Kindnesse and mildnesse in action consisteth in giuing fauours (as we speake) vnto his wife. This is expresly noted in Elkanah, who euery yeere gaue fauours to * 1.194 his wiues. Thus an husband as he testifieth his loue to his wife, so he will much prouoke her to doe all duty to him. A small gift, as an action of kindnesse freely giuen, not vpon any debt, but in testimony of loue, doth more worke on the heart of her to whom it is giuen, then much more giuen vpon con∣tract, or for a worke done, whereby it may seeme to be de∣serued.

In giuing fauours to a wife, an husband ought to be more bountifull and liberall, then to others, that so she may see thereby he loues her aboue all; as it is noted that Elkanah gaue Annah a worthy portion, because he loued her. And in gi∣uing * 1.195 fauours it is best to bestow them with his owne hands, vnlesse he be absent from her.

§. 44. Of husbands beating their wiues.

Contrary are the furious, and spightfull actions of many vnkinde husbands (heads too heady) whose fauours are buf∣fets, * 1.196 blowes, strokes, & stripes: wherein they are worse then the venemous viper. For the viper for his mates sake casteth out his poison: and wilt not thou, ô husband, in respect of that neere vnion which is betwixt thee and thy wife, lay aside thy fiercenesse and cruelty? Many wiues by reason of their hus∣bands furie, are in worse case then seruants: for

1. Such as will not giue a blow to a seruant, care not what load they lay vpon their wiues.

2. Where seruants haue but a time and terme to be vnder the tyranny of such furious men, poore wiues are tied to them all their life long.

3. Wiues can not haue so good remedy by the helpe of law against cruell husbands, as seruants may haue against cruell masters.

4. Masters haue not such opportunity to exercise their cruelty ouer seruants as husbands ouer wiues, who are to be continually at boord and bed with their husbands.

5. The neerer wiues are, and the dearer they ought to be to their husbands, the more grieuous must stroakes needs be when they are giuen by an husbands hand, then by a masters. * 1.197

6. The lesse power and authority that an husband hath to strike his wife, then a master to strike a seruant, the more heauie doe his stroakes seeme to be, and the worse doth the case of a wife seeme to be in that respect, then of a seruant. Not vnfitly therefore is such a man (if he may be thought a man rather then a beast) said to be like a father-queller and mother-queller.

Quest. May not then an husband beat his wife? * 1.198

Answ. With submission to better iudgements, I thinke he may not: my reasons are these.

1. There is no warrant thorowout the whole Scripture * 1.199 by precept, or example for it: which argument though it be negatiue, yet for the point in hand is a forceable argument in two respects. 1. Because the Scripture hath so plentifully and particularly declared the seuerall duties of husbands and wiues: and yet hath deliuered nothing concerning an hus∣bands striking and beating his wife. 2. Because it hath also plentifully and particularly spoaken of all such as are to cor∣rect, and of their manner of correcting, and of their bearing correction who are to be corrected, and of the vse they are to make thereof; and yet not any thing at all concerning an husbands punishing, or a wiues bearing in this kinde. The Scripture being so silent in this point, we may well inferre that God hath not ranked wiues among those in the family who are to be corrected.

2. That small disparity which (as I haue * 1.200 before shewed) is * 1.201 betwixt man and wife, permitteth not so high a power in an husband, and so low a seruitude in a wife, as for him to beat her. Can it be thought reasonable that she who is the mans

perpetuall bed-fellow, who hath power ouer his body, who * 1.202 is a ioynt parent of the children, a ioynt gouernour of the family, should be beaten by his hands? What if children or seruants should know of it? (as they must needs: for how can such a thing be done in the house and they of the house know it not?) can they respect her as a mother, or a mistresse who is vnder correction as well as they?

3. The neere coniunction, and very vnion that is betwixt * 1.203 man and wife suffereth not such dealing to passe betwixt them. The wife is as a mans selfe, a 1.204 They two are one flesh. No man but a frantike, furious, desperat wretch will beat himselfe. Two sorts of men are in Scripture noted to cut and lanch their owne flesh, idolaters, as the b 1.205 Baalites, and Daemoniacks, as c 1.206 he that was possessed with a legion of deuils. Such are they who beat their wiues, either blinded in their vnderstanding, or possessed with a deuill.

Obiect. He that is best in his wits will suffer his body to be pinched, pricked, lanched, and otherwise pained, if it be need∣full and behoofull.

Answ. 1. A mans heart will not suffer him to doe any of these himselfe: their are Chirurgions whose office it is to doe such things: if the Chirurgion himselfe haue need of any such remedy for his owne body, he will vse the helpe of ano∣ther Chirurgion. If the case so stand as a wife must needs be beaten, it is fitter for an husband to referre the matter to a publike Magistrate (who is as an approued and licensed Chi∣rurgion) and not to doe it with his owne hands.

2. Though some parts of the body may be so dealt withall, yet euery part may not, as the heart, which the wife is to the man.

3. The comparison holdeth not. For the fore-named pinching, lanching, &c. is no punishment for any fault, as the beating of a wife in question is, there is no question but a man that hath skill may if need be open a veine, lanch a boile, splinter a broken bone, or disioynted ioynt in his wiues body, which may be more painfull then correction: and here∣in the comparison holdeth, but not in the other.

2. Obiect. There is as neere a coniunction betwixt Christ

and his Church, as betwixt man and wife: yet Christ for bea∣reth not to correct and punish his Church.

Answ. There is a double relation betwixt Christ and the Church: he is an husband vnto it, hauing made it of his flesh, and of his bones: and a supreme Lord ouer it, hauing all power * 1.207 in heauen and earth committed vnto him. In this latter respect he punisheth, not in the former. An husband is not such a su∣preme Lord ouer his wife: therefore Christs example, is no warrant to him.

4. There is no hope of any good to proceed from an hus∣bands * 1.208 beating of his wife: for where the party cor∣rected is perswaded that the party which correcteth hath no authority or right so to doe, it will not be brought patiently to take it: but will resist, and striue if it be possible to get the mastery. Let a stranger strike such a childe of yeeres or a ser∣uant as will patiently beare many stroakes at a parents or ma∣sters hand, they will turne againe at that stranger, and indea∣uour to giue him as good as he brings: now a wife hauing no ground to be perswaded that her husband hath authority to * 1.209 beat her, what hope is there that she will patiently beare it, and be bettered by it? Or rather is it not likely that she will, if she can, rise against him, ouer-master him (as many doe) and neuer doe any duty aright? A fault in a wife is not taken away but increased by blowes.

Obiect. Smart and paine may make her dread her husband, stand in awe of him, and doe her duty the better.

Answ. Such dread and awe beseemes neither the place of an husband to exact it, nor the place of a wife to yeeld it. Though perforce she may be brought to yeeld some outward subiection, yet inward hatred of her husbands person may be ioyned there∣with, which is as bad, if not worse then outward disobedience.

Obiect. She may be of so outragious a disposition, as, but by * 1.210 force, she will not be kept in any compasse.

1. Answ. It hath beene of old time answered, that no fault should be so great, as to compell an husband to beat his wife.

2. Answ. Other forceable meanes may be vsed besides beating by her husbands hands: she may be restrained of libertie, denied such things as she most affecteth, be kept vp, as it were, in hold;

and, if no other meanes will serue the turne, be put ouer to the Magistrates hands, that if she be of so seruile a disposition, as by no other meanes she will be kept vnder then by feare and force, by smart and paine, she may feare the Magistrate, and feele his hand, rather then her husbands.

Obiect. If a wife waxe so mannish, or rather mad, as to offer to strike and beat her husband, may he not in that case beat her to make her cease her outrage?

Answ. I doubt not but that that good prouision which is made in law to preserue a mans life, may be applied to this pur∣pose. The law simply condemnes all murther; yet if a man be so assaulted, as there is no way to preserue his owne life, but by ta∣king away his life that assaults him, it condemneth not him as a murtherer, because he did it in defence of himselfe. So if an hus∣band * 1.211 be set vpon by his wife, it is lawfull and expedient that he defend himselfe, and if he can doe it no other wayes but by stri∣king her, that is not to be reckoned an vnlawfull beating her.

§. 45. Of an husbands bearing with his wines infirmities.

Hither to of the husbands auoiding of offence, a word concerning his bearing with offence.

A generall dutie it is, common to all of all sorts, to beare one * 1.212 anothers burden: in which extent euen a wife is to beare her hus∣bands burden, because he, as euery one else, is subiect to slip and fall, and so hath need to be supported. Yet after a more speciall and peculiar manner doth this dutie belong to an husband, and that in two respects.

1. Of the two, he is more bound then his wife, because in re∣lation to his wife he is the stronger: for she is the weaker vessell, * 1.213 1. Pet. 3. 7. But the strong are most bound to beare with the infir∣mities of the weake, Rom. 15. 1.

2. He is bound to beare with his wife more then with any other, because of that neere coniunction which is betwixt them: he that cannot beare with his wife, his flesh, can beare with no bodie. The reason alleaged by the Apostle to moue a man to dwell with his wife according to knowledge, and to giue honour to her, intima∣ted in this phrase, as to the weaker vessell, sheweth that this is a pe∣culiar dutie belonging to an husband, wherein, and whereby he * 1.214

may both manifest his knowledge and wisdome, and also doe ho∣nour to his wife. For why is he put in minde of her weaknesse, but to shew he should beare with her?

As that phrase intimateth the dutie, so also it intimateth a good reason to inforce it. For pretious things, whereof we make high account, the weaker they be, the more tenderly, and charily are they handled, as Cheney dishes, and christall glasses: and of all parts of the bodie, the eye is most tenderly handled. Now what things, what persons are more deare and pretious then a wife? yet withall she is a weake vessell: therefore she is much to be borne withall.

For an husbands better direction herein, difference must be * 1.215 made betwixt infirmities: for some are naturall imperfections, other are actuall transgressions. Naturall imperfections are inward, (as slownesse in conceit, dulnesse in apprehension, shortnesse of memorie, hastinesse in passion, &c.) or outward, (as lamenesse, blindnesse, deafnesse, or any other defect, and deformitie of bodie.) These infirmities should breed pitie, compassion, commiseration, yea and greater tendernesse and respect, but no offence. Note Abrahams example in this case: his wife was barren, yet he de∣spised * 1.216 her not for it, nor vpbraided her with any such thing.

Actuall transgressions are breaches of Gods law: whereof such are here ment, as are most directly tending to his owne disquiet, and disaduantage, as shrewishnesse, waiwardnesse, nicenesse, stub∣bornnesse, &c. In the bearing of these must an husband especi∣ally shew his wisdome, and that sundry wayes.

1. By vsing the best and mildest meanes he can to redresse them, as meeke admonition, seasonable aduice, gentle intreatie, and compassionate affection. Elkanah supposing that his wife offended in her passion, thus dealt with her and supported her.

2. By remouing the stone whereat she stumbleth, by taking away the occasion (so far as conueniently he can) which maketh her offend. Thus Abram, and that by Gods aduice, put Hagar and her sonne out of the house, because they were an offence to Sarah.

3. By turning his eyes away (if the matter be not great, but * 1.217 such as may be tolerated) and taking no notice of the offence, but rather passing by it, as if he perceiued it not. Solomon saith, that

it is a mans glory to passe ouer a transgression: and he exhorteth a * 1.218 man not to giue his heart to all the words that men speake.

4. By forgiuing and forgetting it (if notice be taken thereof.) Iaakob tooke notice of Rachels rash, and froward demand, for he * 1.219 rebuked her for it: yet in that he readily yeelded to that which afterwards she moued him vnto, it appeareth that he forgaue the offence, if not forgat it.

The best triall of a mans affection to his wife, and of his wis∣dome * 1.220 in ordering the same, is in this point of bearing with offen∣ces. Not to be offended with a wife that giueth no offence is not praise-worthy: heathen men may goe so farre. Note what Christ saith of this case, If yee loue them which loue you, and doe good to * 1.221 them that doe good to you, what thanks and reward haue ye? for publicans, and sinners doe the same: but gently to forbeare, and wisely to passe ouer offences when they are giuen, not to be pro∣uoked when there is cause of prouocation ministred, is a true Christian vertue, a vertue beseeming husbands better then any other kinde of men.

§. 46. Of husbands testinesse.

Contrary is testinesse, and peeuishnesse, when husbands are moued with the least prouocation, like tinder catching fire at the least sparke that falleth vpon it: yea many are like gunpowder, which not only taketh fire, but also breaketh out into a violent flame, vpon the least touch of fire: as gunpowder is dangerous to be kept in an house, so such husbands to be ioyned so neerely to wiues as mariage ioyneth them. If it be said, that as gunpowder doth no hurt, if fire come not at it; so they are good and kinde, if they be not prouoked and displeased. I answer, that we haue a prouerbe that saith, The deuill is good while he is pleased, yet it is not safe to haue the deuill too neere. It is as impossible (conside∣ring mans weaknesse) that he should liue and conuerse with any, and not giue offence, as for flint stones long to beat and dash a∣gainst one another, & no sparke of fire to come from them. How then may it be thought possible for a wife, who is so continually conuersant with her husband, and the weaker vessell, to liue with∣out giuing him offence? It is no very kinde speech, which hus∣bands vse, especially if they be told of their vnkindnesse, Let my wife deserue fauour, and she shall haue it. How little fauour would

such husbands haue of Christ their husband, if he should be of that minde towards them?

Thus farre hath beene handled the first part of an husbands well managing his authoritie, by a tender respect of his wife.

The second is a prouident care for her.

§. 46. Of an husbands prouident care for his wife.

An husband that tenderly respecteth his wife, but prouidently careth not for her, sheweth more affection then discretion: he may haue a kinde heart, but he wants a wise head. How then can he be a good head vnto his wife? Some present contentment she may haue by him: but small profit and benefit can she reape from him. Those duties therefore which haue beene deliuered must be done, but these that follow must by no meanes be left vndone.

An husbands prouident care is noted in that office of Christ, wherein an husband resembleth him, namely, to be a Sauiour of * 1.222 the bodie, as hath beene * 1.223 before declared. It consisteth

• 1. In prouiding things needfull for his wife.
• 2. In protecting her from things hurtfull.

1. A carefull prouiding of things needfull, is a principall part of * 1.224 that honour, which husbands are to giue vnto their wiues. For where the Apostle saith, that Elders are worthy of double honour, * 1.225 he meaneth maintenance as well as reuerence. The Apostle coun∣teth him worse then an Infidell, that prouideth not for his owne, and specially for those of his owne house. Who are of an husbands house, * 1.226 if not his wife? in his house, who more properly his owne, then his wife? If then an husband prouide not for his wife, what is he * 1.227 to be accounted?

Great reason he should prouide for her, because he hath taken her from her parents and friends, and hath receiued that portion which they allotted her, and hath authoritie committed vnto him ouer her, and she is put in subiection vnder him: her friends ha∣uing giuen away her portion, and their power ouer her, and com∣mitted all to him, will take no further care for her: she being in subiection vnder him cannot without him prouide for her selfe. Who then shall prouide for her if he doe not, whose wholy and only she is?

Contrary is their minde, who take a wife only for their owne * 1.228 content, or delight, or gaine, and neuer thinke of that charge which together with a wife they take vpon them. According to their minde is their practise: for when they haue a wife they neglect her in euery thing but what may stand with their owne ends. Much haue they to answer for: and so much the more, because a wife is an especiall pledge of Gods fauour. * 1.229

§. 47. Of an husbands prouiding meanes of spirituall edisica∣tion for his wife.

In this prouident care which an husband ought to haue of
his wife, we will consider the	Extent	thereof.
Continuance

It ought to extend both to her selfe, and to others.

In regard of her selfe, to her	Soule.
Body.

For her Soule, meanes of spirituall edification must be pro∣vided, and those both priuate and publike. Priuate meanes, are * 1.230 holy and religious exercises in the house, as reading the word, praier, catechising, and such like; which being the spirituall food of the soule are to be euery day, as our bodily food, pro∣uided and vsed. An husband as a master of a family must pro∣vide these for the good of his whole house; but as an husband, in speciall for the good of his wife: for to his wife, as well as to the whole house he is a King, a Priest, and a Prophet.

By himselfe therefore, for his wiues good, ought he to per∣forme these things, or to prouide that they may be done by some other. C••raelius himselfe performed those exercises. * 1.231 Micah hired a Leuite (though his Idolatry were euill, yet his care to haue a Leuite in his house was commendable.) The * 1.232 Shunemites husband prouided a chamber for the Prophet, and that especially for his wiues sake, for it was at her request.

Publike meanes are the holy ordinances of God publikly * 1.233 performed by Gods Minister. The care of an husband for his wife in this respect is, so to order his habitation, and prouide other needfull things, as his wife may be made partaker there∣of. It is expresly noted of Elkanah that he so prouided for his * 1.234 wiues, that they went with him euery yeere to the house of God: the like is intimated of Ioseph the husband of the virgin

Mary. In those daies there was a publike place and house of God, whither all Gods people (how farre soeuer they dwelt from it) were to resort euery yeere: the places where Elkanah and Ioseph dwelt, were farre remote from the house of God, yet they so prouided, as not only themselues, but their wiues also went to the publike worship of God. Now there are many houses of God, places for the publike worship of God, but yet through the corruption of our times, the ministery of the word (the most principall meanes of spirituall edification) is not euery where to be enioyed: therefore such ought an hus∣bands care for his wife in this respect to be, as to dwell where she may haue the benefit of preaching the word, or else so to prouide for her, as she may weekly goe where it may be had.

If men of wisdome and abilitie make a purchase, or build an house for their habitation, they will be sure it shall be where sweet riuers and waters are, and good pasture ground, and where all needfull prouision may be had. Gods word prea∣ched is a spring of water of life; the place where it is preached a pleasant, profitable pasture; all needfull prouision for the soule may there be had. Let this therefore be most of all in∣quired after: and no habitation setled but where this may be had.

§. 48. Of neglecting their wiues edification.

Contrary is their practise, who hauing their calling in pla∣ces where the word is plentifull, yet vpon outward respects of pleasure, delight, ease, and profit, remoue their families into remote places where preaching is scarce, if at all; and there leaue their wiues to gouerne the family, not regarding their want of the word, for as much as they themselues oft comming to London or other like places by reason of their calling, en∣ioy the word themselues. Many Citizens, Lawyers, and o∣thers are guiltie of great neglect of their wiues in this respect.

So also are they, who abandon all religious exercises out of their houses, making their houses rather stewes of the deuill, then Churches of God. If for want of meanes, either publike or priuate, a wife liue and die in ignorance, profanenesse, infi∣delitie, and impenitencie, which cause eternall damnation,

assuredly her bloud shall be required at his hands: for an hus∣band * 1.235 is Gods watchman to his wife.

§. 49. Of an husbands prouiding things needfull for his wiues boay.

To the body also must an husbands prouident care of his wife extend: and that both in health and sicknesse. In health by prouiding such things as are needfull to preserue health, as competent food, raiment, and the like necessaries. Where the b 1.236 Prophet to aggrauate the misery of the people saith, Seuen women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our owne bread, and weare our owne apparell, only let vs be called by thy name, intimateth, that it was an husbands dutie to prouide bread and apparell, that is, all necessaries for his wife. Which the c 1.237 law also implieth, where it inioyneth him that taketh one wife vpon another, not to diminish the food and raiment of the former. In sicknesse such things are to be prouided as are needfull either to recouer her health, or to comfort, cherish and refresh her in her sicknesse.

This was * 1.238 before noted among common mutuall duties; for by vertue of the matrimoniall bond it belongeth both to man and wife: but to the man it appertaineth by vertue of that power and charge which he hath ouer his wife: and there∣fore it was needfull here to be touched.

§. 50. Of an husbands * 1.239 prouident care for his wife about her child-bearing.

Most proper to this place is that prouident care which hus∣bands ought to haue of their wiues both before and in the time of their trauell and child-bed: and that in two things especially.

1. In procuring for their wiues to the vttermost of their power and abilitie, such things as may saue their longing, in case they doe long (as in all ages women in the time of bree∣ding and bearing childe, haue beene subiect thereunto.) For it is well knowne, that it is very dangerous both for mother and childe to want her longing: the death sometimes of the one, sometimes of the other, sometimes of both hath followed thereupon.

2. In prouiding such things as are needfull for their trauell

and lying in childbed. This time is especially to be prouided for, in many respects.

1. Because it is a time of weaknesse, wherein the woman can∣not well prouide for her selfe.

2. Because her weaknesse is ioyned with much paine: the * 1.240 paine of a women in trauell is the greatest paine that ordinari∣ly is endured by any for the time: none know it so well as they that feele it: and many husbands because they are not subiect thereto, thinke but lightly of it: but if we duly weigh * 1.241 that the holy Ghost when he would set forth the extremitie of any paines and pangs, resembleth them to the paines of a wo∣man in trauell, we may well gather, that of all they are the greatest: which is further manifested by the screekes and out∣cries which not only weake, and faint-hearted women vtter in the time of their trauell, but also are forced from the strongest, and stoutest women that be, and that though before hand they resolue to the contrary. Neither may we wonder thereat; for their body is as it were set on a racke (if at least the trauell be sharpe) and all their parts so stretched, as a wonder it is they should euer recouer their health and strength againe: or that they should hold out the brunt, and not die with their trauell, as Rachel, and the wife of Phinchas, and many in all ages haue * 1.242 done. Surely among ordinary deliuerances I know none so neere a miracle, none wherein the Almighty doth so euidently manifest his great power and good prouidence, as in the safe deliuerie of women. Besides the great pang of trauell, wo∣men are also after their deliuerie subiect to many after-throws which are very painfull. From all these paines and great weaknesse which befalleth women in childbed, especially if they nurse their children, men by reason of their sex are freed: Now then to apply this point, seeing women are brought to such paines and weaknesse in bringing forth those children which are the mans as well as hers, and he freed from all; is it not very iust and meet that he should prouide all things need∣full for her welfare, ease, and recouery of strength?

3. Because the want of things needfull is at that time very dangerous: dangerous to the health and life of the woman and childe also.

§. 51. Of neglecting wiues in their weaknesse.

Contrary to an husbands prouident care in generall are those vices which were taxed in the treatise of common du∣ties, * 1.243 as grudging at the charges bestowed on a wife: Couetousnesse, Prodigality, and Idlenesse.

But contrary in particular to an husbands care for his wife in childbed, is the inhumane and more then barbarous vn∣kindnesse of many husbands, who no whit consider the weak∣nesse of their wiues in this case, to helpe, ease, and comfort them, but rather make their burden much more heauy. For,

1. Some through couetousnesse refuse before hand to af∣ford meanes to their wife to prouide such things as are needfull for her selfe and child: & when the time commeth, if their wife be desirous of a Midwife that requireth somwhat more charges then she that is next, she shall haue none if she will not haue the next. And as for a nurse to tend her, they thinke their Maid will serue the turne wel enough: they need not be at the charges to bring a Nurse into the house. In regard of conuenient lodging some will not sticke to say, Cannot my wife be brought to bed in a roome without a chimney as well as the Virgin Mary? Why should my wife need more things then she did? Yea fur∣ther there be many that whē the time that their wife should be deliuered approacheth neere, carie her from al her friends into a place where she is not knowne, lest her friends should by im∣portunity draw him to expend and lay out more vpon his wife then he is willing. In the time while their wife is weake in childbed, many are loath to allow them any other diet then is for themselues and children prouided in the house, not consi∣dering that her stomach cannot be like theirs.

Many other such bitter fruits of vnkinde husbands arising from couetousnesse might be reckoned vp, whereby husbands plainely shew that they loue their wealth better then their wiues: they had rather lose them, then part with that.

2. Others through iealous suspicion forbeare not euen in * 1.244 the time of their wiues paine and weaknesse, to vpbraid them with lightnesse, and to say that the childe is none of theirs. To lay this to a wiues charge vniustly, is at any time a most shamefull and odious reproach: but in the time of childebirth

whether iust or vniust, a thing too too spightfull and reuenge∣full. Some wiues are so farre ouercome thereby, (especially in the time of their weaknesse) as they are not able to beare it, but euen faint and die vnder the reproach: others more stout vow neuer to know their husbands againe. Many like mis∣chiefes follow on such vnkindnesse.

§. 52. Of an husbands * 1.245 prouiding for his wife according to his estate and abilitie.

In an husbands prouiding for the body of his wife respect must be had to the measure, and to the manner.

The measure must extend to his ability: for an husband ought to maintaine his wife in as good an estate and fashion as himselfe; by mariage she is aduanced to as high an estate, and dignity in relation to others as he is: and for her owne vse she is made a partner of all his goods, and accordingly ought to partake thereof.

For the manner, he must suffer her (if at least he obserue her to haue any competent discretion) to order such things as are needfull for her selfe according to her best liking: as Elkanah in another case said to his wife, Doe what seemeth thee best. * 1.246

Both in the measure and in the manner of prouiding, there must be a difference put betwixt a wife, and seruants or chil∣dren. These may haue their portions of meat, apparrell, and like necessaries, proportioned out and stinted vnto them, which is vnmeet to be done to a wife. Neither is it needfull that so plentifull a prouision be made for them as for her.

§. 53. Of an husbands nigardlynesse to his wife.

Contrary is an husbands nigardly dealing with his wife: when the allowance she hath is both farre vnder his estate, and also so giuen her by little and little, as if she were a childe. Many husbands make their wiues drudge at home, fare hardly, and goe meanly; who are themselues braue in apparrell, fro∣licke in their feasting abroad, and so exceed their wiues as they are ashamed to be seene in company with them. They who marry their maids, or others of meaner ranke then themselues, oft so deale with them: esteeming them but as seruants and meane persons though they be their wiues. But it hath beene * 1.247 before shewed, that wiues by marriage are aduanced to their

husbands dignity, how meane soeuer they were before.

§. 54. Of husbands * 1.248 allowing their wiues to bestow on others, as they see good occasion.

So farre ought the prouident care of an husband for his wife to extend, as she may haue (beside things needfull to her selfe) to bestow on such as it is requisite for her to giue vnto: as namely, on children and seruants in the house, and others also out of the house. For so much is noted in Salomons description * 1.249 of a good wife; She giueth meat to her houshold, and a portion to her maidens: all her houshold is clothed with scarlet (namely, by her ordering and disposing the matter.) Her children rise vp and call her blessed, as for her generall cariage in the family, so for her particular fauours bestowed on themselues. As for * 1.250 others out of the house, it is also noted, that she stretcheth out her hand to the poore, and reacheth forth her hands to the needie. These things she did by virtue of that power and liberty which her husband gaue her: as appeareth by two points there no∣ted:

1. In that before any mention is made of those things * 1.251 which she did, it is said, The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.

2. In that, after all her good deedes are reckoned vp, it is * 1.252 said, Her husband praiseth her.

After this patterne it is meete that other husbands (whose wiues are wise and faithfull) should deale with their wiues: that in the house they might haue the more honour of children and seruants: and that out of the house they might giue the better tryall of their charity.

For considering the many excellent promises that are made to workes of mercy and charity, and the many terrible threat∣nings that are denounced not onely against such as exercise cruelty, but also against such as shew no mercy: considering also that wiues together with their husbands, are heires of the * 1.253 grace of life, it is very needfull yea euen necessary, that they should manifest their faith by some worke of mercy and cha∣rity. Now vnlesse her husband doe giue vnto her something at her owne discretion to bestow on others, true and through

try all of her mercifull and charitable minde cannot be made. If she giue of that which her husband hath reserued to him∣selfe, as her giuing is vnlawfull, so she may be thought liberall, not because she is mercifull, but because notwithstanding her liberality she parteth with nothing of her owne: yea though she haue a generall consent to giue as she seeth cause of the common goods of the family, yet is not that so sure and sound a tryall of her charity, and mercifulnesse, as if she had something of her owne which she might retaine or giue away as pleaseth her selfe; and what she giues not away, lay vp as her owne stocke proper to her selfe. For there is naturally such a selfe loue in man, and a desire to keepe that which is proper to ones selfe, that he is very loath to part with any of it, vnlesse conscience and grace alter this corruption of nature, and so moue him readily to lay out something on charitable vses. But otherwise of that which in whole or in part belongeth to another (be that other, husband, parent, master, friend, or any else) he is easily moued to be liberall and bountifull: a man will willingly cut a large thong (as we speake) out of ano∣thers leather.

It is knowne that many children and seruants, who, when they come to be possessers of their owne, are very niggards and misers, haue beene liberall of their parents and masters goods vnto the poore. Yea parteners in a stocke will be much more forward in giuing away that which is common with an∣other, then that which is proper to each of them. The truest triall of a mercifull and charitable heart lieth in the distribu∣tion of that which is proper to ones selfe.

It is therefore meet vpon this very ground, that an husband should according to his ability let his wife haue some stocke, and portion of her owne, free to her selfe to dispose as she seeth good: intimating vnto her that the principall end why he prouideth so plentifully for her, is, that she may shew forth the fruits of her faith by some workes of charity: and exhor∣ting her so to doe. Many religious, wise, kinde husbands thus doe: some giuing quarterly allowance in money to their wiues, others giuing their wiues power to receiue a certaine portion of rent out of certaine lands or houses; others making

their wiues an absolute estate of some inheritance, and suffe∣ring them to receiue the profits and reuenewes thereof; others giuing them certaine fees of their offices, or of their trade; others, that are poore, suffering them to worke for themselues, & dispose their earnings as they see cause: some one way, some another: euery one in his place best knoweth the meanes how to gratifie his wife in this kinde: it shall be sufficient for me to haue laide downe the generall rule.

§. 55. Of husbands too great straitnesse ouer their wiues.

Contrary is their strait-handednesse to their wiues, who allow them no more then may be for their owne priuat vse. They thinke it a great matter and as much as an husband is bound to doe, to let her haue apparrell, meat and drinke, and such necessaries as are befitting her ranke, but all other ouer∣plus they thinke needlesse. Thus their wiues are not only de∣priued of meanes to gaine respect of their children and ser∣uants at home, and to gratifie such as are obedient and ready to doe seruice to them, but also to performe such workes of mercie as both opportunity requireth, and also their con∣science moueth them to doe. Yea many wiues of rich hus∣bands are brought to great shame hereby, in that being in places where there is iust occasion of contributing to some charitable vse, and by reason of their rich and costly apparell it is expected they should be bountiful, they haue not any thing at all to bestow. The fault of some husbands in this respect is great many waies. As 1. in that they bring shame and griefe to their wiues, whom they ought with all tendernesse to re∣spect. 2. In that they dishonour their owne places: for they who take notice of this straitnesse to their wiues, will be ready to iudge them both couetous, and vnkinde. 3. The omitting of that worke of mercie which their wiues should haue done shall be laid to their charge: they shall heare that dreadfull doome; Goe yee cursed into euerlasting fire, for I was an hungred and yee fed me not &c. and if they answer, When saw we thee an hungred &c. it shall be replied, In that yee suffered not your wiues to doe it, you did it not.

Thus much of the extent of an husbands prouident care

for the good of his wife. It followeth to speake of the conti∣nuance thereof.

§. 57. Of an husbands care to prouide for his wife so long as she shall liue.

The continuance of an husbands prouident care for his wife must be so long as she liueth, yea though she out-liue him: not that he can actually when he is dead prouide for her, but that he may before his death so prouide for her, as she may haue wherewithall to maintaine her selfe, and to liue according to that place whereunto by him she is aduanced: at least that he leaue her not only so much as he had with her, but something more also in testimony of his loue to her, and care for her. Husbands haue the example of Christ to presse this duty vp∣on them: for when he went away from his Church here on * 1.254 earth, he left his spirit, which furnished it with gifts as plenti∣fully, as if Christ had still remained with her, if not more aboundantly.

For the better performance of this duty, husbands which die before the wiues, must obserue among other things two especially.

1. That plainly and expresly they declare their minde and * 1.255 will before they die, lest their wiues should be circumuented and defrauded of that which they intended them. Thus did Dauid vpon the motion of Bathshebah, he setled his estate, and caused Bathshebahs sonne to be actually crowned before he himselfe gaue vp the Ghost: which he did, as for other weighty reasons, so in particular for his wiues good, as may be gathered from that reason she alleaged to the King in these * 1.256 words; Else when my Lord the King shall sleepe-with his fathers, I shall be reputed vile.

2. That he request some faithfull friend in his steed to be an helper vnto her; (as Christ commended his mother vnto his disciple Iohn) which will be needfull in regard of her weak∣nesse, by reason of her sex, and want of experience to manage such affaires especially as are out of the house.

At the time of a mans departure out of this world from his wife, will the truest triall of his affection to his wife be giuen: for many that beare their wiues faire in hand while they liue

with them, at their death shew that there was no soundnesse of affection in their heart towards them: all was but a meere shew for some by-respects.

§. 58. Of husbands neglect of their wiues future estate.

Contrary are diuers practises of vnkinde husbands. For * 1.257

1. Some through improuidence, vnthriftinesse and pro∣digality, disable themselues from doing good to their wiues after their death; and so leaue their wiues nothing, or (that which is worse then nothing) in debt, and with a great charge of children. That care which husbands ought to haue of their wiues should make them thinke before hand of the time to come, and euen for their wiues sake be some-what the more diligent, thrifty, and prouident, and cut off many vnnecessary expences, else their sinne is doubled. 1. By a needlesse wa∣sting their estate. 2. By neglecting their wiues.

2. Others by fawning, or forcing meanes draw their wiues * 1.258 to yeeld vp that interest they haue in money, goods, house or land by ioynter, inheritance, or any other way, and yet make them no sufficient recompence in another kinde: but at their death leaue their wiues in a farre worse estate then they were in before mariage, beside a greater charge then they had be∣fore. As this is a great part of vnkindnesse, so also a maine point of iniustice.

3. Others grudging against the lawes vnder which they * 1.259 ••iue for prouiding for a wife by thirds or otherwise, vse all the ••raudulent meanes they can to depriue her of that which otherwise the law would lay vpon her. The ciuill politique awes of the place where we liue ought to be the rule of our ciuill actions (so farre as they are not repugnant to Gods word) and we ought for conscience sake to be subiect vnto * 1.260 them. Besides an husband ought (though the law forced him ••ot) to leaue at least the thirds to his wife, as a testimony of his loue to her, and care for her: so as this also is a dou∣••le fault. 1. A transgression of the law. 2. A note of vn∣••indnesse.

4. Orthers hauing aged and sickly wiues, or otherwise * 1.261 ••hinking that their wiues may, or rather hoping that their ••iues will die before themselues, put off the making of their

wills of purpose that they might not put in their wiues thirds, but dispose them some other way. Besides that these husbands shew no good affection towards their wiues, they prouoke God to disappoint them of their hopes: and so he doth of∣ten-times: for he taketh them away before their wiues, and so taketh them away, as hauing no time to make their will, not only their wiues enioy their thirds (which they so much de∣sired to auoid) but also some other (whom of all in their life time they misliked) seaze vpon the other two parts.

§. 58. Of an husbands protecting his wife from danger.

Hauing shewed how an husband is to prouide things need∣full for his wife: It remaineth to shew how he is to pro∣tect her from things hurtfull.

In regard of that protection which an husband oweth his wife, he is called the veile of her eies: which phrase as it impli∣eth * 1.262 Subiection on the wiues part, so also Protection on the hus∣bands: to protect one, is as it were, to couer them, namely, from danger; to be negligent and carelesse of them, is, as it were, to lay them open to danger. The same duty is implied vnder another like phrase of spreading his wing ouer his wife. * 1.263 The metaphor is taken from winged fowles, which to keepe their young ones from hurt, vse to spread their wings ouer them: this phrase and metaphor is also attributed to God, to * 1.264 set forth his protection.

But most pertinent to this purpose is the title, * 1.265 Saniour, giuen to an husband in relation to his wife.

For this end the Lord who subiected a woman vnto her husband, gaue to his sexe greater strength, courage and bold∣nesse then to hers, that he might protect her which is the wea∣ker vessell. In this duty of protection Christ sheweth himselfe an excellent patterne and president vnto husbands.

The better to performe this dutie, an husband must bee carefull,

1. To preuent, as much as he may, such dangers as his wise is like to fall into.

2. To recouer her out of such as she is fallen into.

For this purpose did Dauid carry his wiues into Gath, lest, if * 1.266 they were left in Israel, Saul should worke them some mischiefe:

and againe, when they were taken by the Amalakites, he recoue∣red * 1.267 them.

According to that danger whereunto wiues are subiect, must an husbands care of protecting his wife be manifested.

1. If she be in danger to be seduced and inticed, as Euah was, * 1.268 by any euill instruments of the deuill, as Iesuits, Priests, Friers, profane, blasphemous, lasciuious, or riotous persons; his care must be either to keepe them away that they come not at her, or to put them away from her so soone as he can: he may not suffer them to harbour in his house.

2. If by any sleight she be drawne from his house, he must * 1.269 seeke her, and fetch her againe, as the Leuite did his wife: or cause her (if he can) to be brought home againe, as Dauid caused Michal to be brought: especially if they be taken away by force, as Ahinoam, and Abigail, Dauids wiues, were.

3. If she be vniustly slandered, he is to maintaine her credit and reputation as much as his owne: as Christ accounteth him∣selfe despised, when his Church is, so must he. This care must he * 1.270 haue of his wiues credit, euen after her death, as well as while she liueth.

4. What other mischiefe so euer is intended or practised against * 1.271 her, he must be a tower of defence to protect her, (as Ahoshuerosh was to Ester against Haman) and that not only against strangers without the house, but also against children and seruants in the house. Children growne to yeeres, that are stout and stubborne, will be ready to rise vp against their mother, especially if she be a mother in law, because she is the weaker sex: the countenance of a father for the most part keepeth most in awe. Wherefore the husband must be an helpe to his wife, and maintaine her honour against them: yea though they be children of a former wife.

§. 59. Of an husbands maintaining his wife against children of a former venter, and seruants.

Obiect. Mothers in law often proue vnkinde, and vniust step∣mothers, and deale vnmercifully with their husbands children: must an husband in such cases assist his wife against his children?

Answ. The protection, I speake of, is in case a wife be wron∣ged, then her husband is to doe what he can to right her (as we speake.) But if she be the wrong-doer, he may by no meanes boul∣ster

her vp against his children, and so make their wrong the greater. Yet so far ought he to respect his wife, as by all the faire meanes he can, to labour to pacific her minde, and turne her heart towards them: and if he obserue her heart to be cleane alienated from them, then to put them forth to be brought vp in some other place, and so to take away from her the obiect of her dis∣pleasure, that he and she may liue more quietly together. For if a man must forsake father and mother, he must also forsake chil∣dren, and cleaue to his wife. Peace and vnitie betwixt man and wife must of all other be kept inuiolable. Though thou cast away * 1.272 all, nothing can happen more troublesome to thee then not to haue a quiet wife at home. Thou canst finde no sinne more grieuous then to haue contention with a wife.

If a wife must be maintained against the stubbornnesse of chil∣dren, much more against the insolencie of seruants: for which purpose the example of Abraham is recorded, whose seruant might haue a priuiledge aboue others, because he had made her his bedfellow; yet when she waxed insolent against her mistresse, first he put her into her mistresses hand to doe to her as it pleased her; and afterwards he cast her out of his house.

§. 60. Of neglecting to maintaine their wiues.

Contrary is a dissolute carelesnesse of husbands, who care no more to helpe and succour their wiues then any other.

1. Some more feare to offend their wiues then they care to doe * 1.273 them good, and in that respect they let any sort of people come to their wiues that are welcome to them. If Magistrates in a Com∣mon-wealth shall answer for suffering seducers to come into their dominions to deceiue their people, much more shall husbands answer for suffering them to come and deceiue their wiues.

• 1. Because they haue a greater charge ouer their wiues then Magistrates ouer their people.
• 2. Because wiues ought to be dearer to husbands then people to Magistrates.
• 3. Because they may sooner espie them in their house, then Magistrates in the Common-wealth.
• 4. Because they may be much more easily kept out of an house, then out of a Common-wealth, or a Citie.

2. Others care not whither their wiues wander: and if they * 1.274

doe goe out of their house, they shall neuer be sought after by their * 1.275 husbands: though this may be a iust punishment on wandring wiues, yet is it not iust for husbands so to deale with them. If Christ our husband should so deale with vs, we should soone be lost: for wee oft goe astray like wandring sheepe, but hee is that good shepherd, who seeketh after the lost sheepe vntill he * 1.276 finde it.

3. No maruell then that many husbands are no more affected * 1.277 with the ill reports and rumors raised against their wiues, when they so little regard who come to them, or whither they goe. Assuredly the discredit of a wife will turne to the mans disho∣nour: for as a vertuous wife is a crowne to her husband, so by the * 1.278 rule of contraries, an infamous wife is a shame to her husband. If therefore not for his wiues sake, yet for his owne sake a man ought not too carelesly passe ouer the ill reports which are raised against his wife.

4. There be such vnkinde husbands as are moued with no ill * 1.279 vsage done vnto their wiues, nor will heare any complaint that they make vnto them: yea if they see them misused, they will ei∣ther not seeme to see it, or but smile at it, and so goe their way, and suffer their wiues to right themselues as well as they can. As this beseemeth not any Christian to suffer his neighbour to be wron∣ged, (for it is noted as a commendable matter in Moses, that * 1.280 when he saw two Hebrewes striuing together, he tooke his part that had wrong done to him, and reproued the other) so much ••esse an husband, to whose safe-guard his wife is committed. Na∣ture teacheth vs that the head is as much affected with a wrong ••one to the bodie, as to it selfe: so ought an husband. * 1.281

5. As the wrong which is done by those who are in subiection ••n the house vnder the wife, is greater then that which is done by ••trangers: so is the husbands fault the greater in suffering it: for ••e hath more power ouer them in his house, then ouer others. * 1.282 What then may we thinke of such, as either by their conniuence, ••r by taking part against their wiues, suffer both children and ser∣••ants to insult ouer them? Assuredly those husbands them∣selues will finde some smacke of the bitter and euill fruit thereof: ••••d that not only by that great discontent which their wiues must ••eeds take thereat; but also by that contempt which will follow

on their owne persons, both by their wiues (who cannot thinke them meet heads to gouerne others) but also by their children and seruants, who thereby will take occasion to waxe proud, and presumptuous against him. By despising the weaker, men grow by little and little to despise the stronger. This men of wisdome and experience well know: whereupon in Common-wealths and Policies gouerned by wise men, the authoritie of inferiour Magistrates is vpheld and maintained: superiour Magistrates will not suffer them who are in authoritie vnder them to be despised: for it is well knowne, that it tends not to the honour and ease only, but to the safetie also of the supreme Magistrate, to haue the power and authoritie of inferiour Magistrates respected, and not trampled vnder feet. It argueth therefore both want of affection, and of discretion and vnderstanding in husbands, to suffer childe, seruant, or any other in the house, to insult ouer their wiues, who are ioynt gouernours with them ouer the house.

§. 61. Of an husbands first beginning to loue his wife.

The generall matter together with the particular kindes of husbands duties being thus farre handled, The manner also of performing them is to be deliuered.

To instruct an husband in the manner of performing his duties to his wife, the Apostle laieth downe two patternes,	1. Christ, vers. 25.
2. Our selues, vers. 28.

As Christ loueth his Church, and as we loue our selues, so must men loue their wiues.

That we may the better follow these patternes, we must distinctly note how Christ loueth his Church, and how we * 1.283 loue our selues.

The loue of Christ to his Church is commended vnto vs in six seuerall points: which are

1. The order	4. The qualitie	thereof.
2. The truth	5. The quantitie
3. The cause	6. The continuance

I. For the Order, Christ began to loue his Church: he ma∣fested his loue to her before she loued him: as the aire heated by the Sunne is hote, and a wall on which the Sun-beames

smite, giueth a reflexion of heat backe againe: so the Church, as it were heated and warmed at heart by the sence of Christs loue, loued him, as the Apostle expresly noteth, (We loue him * 1.284 because he loued vs first:) and the Church her selfe acknow∣ledgeth saying, Because of the sauour of thy good ointments * 1.285 (wherewith we are reuiued, and cheered) the virgins loue thee.

There is in vs by nature no sparke of loue at all: if Christ * 1.286 by his louing of vs first, did not instill loue into vs, we could no more loue him then a liuing bird rise out of a cold egge, if it were not kept warme by the dammes sitting vpon it.

Thus must an husband first begin to loue his wife. His place of eminencie, and authority requireth, that he should be to his wife, a guide, which title is expresly giuen to him by the holy * 1.287 Ghost, to teach him to goe before her, and by his example to instruct, and incite her to doe her dutie. What a shame would it be for a man who is the Image and glory of God, the head of his wife, in the same place to her that Christ is to his Church, to be prouoked by his wiues wiue-like carriage (she being the weaker vessell, vnder him, to learne of him) to loue her? * 1.288 Rea∣sons there be to stirre vp a wife to indeauour to preuent her husband in doing her dutie, which if she doe, it is the greater glory to her; but this patterne of Christ should stirre him much more to striue to goe before her.

§. 62. Of husbands repaying vnkindnesse for loue.

Contrary, is their disposition, who hauing louing and duti∣full wiues, are notwithstanding nothing moued to loue them againe: but are as vnkinde and churlish as if they had the most ••eeuish, and peruerse wiues that could be. But what shall we say of such as loue their wiues the lesse, yea and hate them for their forwardnesse to loue, and (in testimony of true loue) to performe all good dutie? What, but that they are very deuils ••ncarnate? For it is the deuils property to ouercome good with cuill. These make the doctrine of a wiues subiection to seeme harsh, and a carefull performance thereof, an heauy burden. Neuer shall they partake of Christs loue, that in their place ••ew themselues so vnlike to Christ.

§. 63. Of the * 1.289 truth of husbands loue.

II. The truth of Christs loue was manifested by the fruits thereof to his Church: He gaue himselfe for it. It was there∣fore not in word only, no nor only in heart, but in deed also. Thus his loue proued profitable, and beneficiall to his Church, which thereby was clensed, and made a glorious * 1.290 Church. Had he only borne a tender compassion and pittifull affection towards it, or laboured only with comfortable and sweet words to vphold and succour it, it had still laine pollu∣ted with sinne, in the power of the deuill, and vnder Gods wrath, and so receiued no profit and benefit at all.

So must husbands loue their wiues in truth and in deed. * 1.291 * 1.292 Such a loue is required of a man to his brother: much more therefore to his wife, who is not only a sister (as * 1.293 the Apostle expresly stileth her) but neerer then sister, mother, daughter, friend, or any other whatsoeuer. This therefore serueth to presse the practise of all the forenamed duties appertaining to an husband.

§. 64. Of husbands dissimulation.

Contrary is their dissimulation and hypocrisie, who make great shew of much loue, and pretence of earnest affection, vsing many outward complements, but faile when they come to the truest triall, the deed. Some like suters or wooers, will promise mountaines, but not performe moul-hills: others will coll and kisse their wiues much, but trust them with nothing, nor prouide for them things requisite: there be that will weepe much when their wiues are sicke, yet not afford physicke and such like things for their recouery: yea many will carrie a faire face all their life long towards their wiues, and at their death leaue them nothing to liue by.

Hence it is that many who by others are accounted to be very kinde husbands, are by their wiues found to be farre o∣therwise. If triall be made of husbands loue by their practise and performance of the forenamed duties, it will be found that they for the most part come as farre short in loue, as wiues in subiection.

§. 65. Of the freenesse of husbands loue.

III. The cause of Christs loue, was his loue, as Moses no∣teth, * 1.294 He set his loue on you, because he loued you. His loue arose only, and wholly from himselfe, and was euery way free: as there was nothing in the Church, before Christ loued her to moue him to loue her, so can there be nothing that he could hope for afterwards, but what himselfe bestowed. Indeed he delighteth in that righteousnesse wherewith, as with a glori∣ous robe, she is clothed; and with those heauenly graces, wherewith as with pretious Iewels she is decked: but that righteousnesse, and those graces are his owne, and of his free gift, He presents it to himselfe a glorious Church. * 1.295

In imitation hereof husbands should loue their wiues, though there were nothing in wiues to moue them so to doe, but only that they are their wiues: yea though no future bene∣fit could after be expected from them: true loue hath respect to the obiect which is loued, and the good it may doe there∣unto, rather then to the subiect which loueth, and the good that it may receiue. For loue seeketh not her owne. * 1.296

Christs loue in this branch thereof should further moue husbands to doe what lieth in their power, to make their wiues worthy of loue: thus will it be in truth said, that they dwell with their wiues according to knowledge: and thus will their * 1.297 ••oue appeare to be as Christs loue, free.

§. 66. Of husbands louing for aduantage.

Contrary is their loue which is only for their owne content ••nd aduantage. Many can loue no further then they may haue ••ome bait to allure their affections, as beauty, wealth, honour, ••r the like by-respects; or at least hope of some inheritance or ••ortion aboue that which they haue, or of some fauour that they ••xpect from their wiues friends. This cannot be a true sound ••••ue: such a man may be thought to loue his wiues beautie, ••••heritance, and friends rather then his wife. This loue can∣not last.

§. 67. Of the puritie of husbands loue.

IIII. Christs loue for the qualitie is an holy, pure, chaste, * 1.298 ••••ue: as he himselfe is, so is his loue, as is euident by the ••••fect thereof: for it moued him to sanctifie and clense his

Church, to make it a glorious Church without spot: he did there∣fore no way pollute or defile his Spouse: and that his loue might the better appeare to be chaste loue, cast only vpon one Spouse and not many, he vnited all his Saints together by the * 1.299 bond of his Spirit, and made them all one body.

Hereby husbands must learne so to be affected towards * 1.300 their wiues as may stand with holinesse, and chastitie: though much loue be required, yet it may not ouer-flowe those banks. Mariage is honourable and a bed vndefiled. It must therefore be vsed as an vndefiled thing. This indeed appertaineth to the wife as well as to the husband. But because he is the head, and guide of his wife, and ought to be as a patterne and president before her, as Christ is before him, therefore is it more speci∣ally applied to him. The puritie of an husbands loue here spoken of, hath a double vse,

1. It restraineth an husbands loue to his owne wife. There is a generall Christian loue whereby all occasions of doing good are taken, with which an husband may, and ought to loue others: and a particular matrimoniall loue, whereby he is moued to preferre his wife before all, and to haue his heart set and fixed on her, and so proper and peculiar to her.

2. It orders and moderates his loue, so as it turneth not into sinfull lust, whereby that estate, (which in it selfe by vertue of Gods ordinance, is holy) is polluted.

§. 68. Of husbands lightnesse.

Contrary, is not only adulterie, whereof we haue spoken * 1.301 before, but also wantonnesse, lightnesse, and vncleannesse with his wife. For many intemperate and vnchaste husbands, giuing the raines to their headstrong lusts, manifest as much vnseemlinesse and plaine filthinesse in their words, gestures, and actions (to say nothing of their thoughts which are not seene) to their wiues, as other doe to strumpets and harlots which is a most shamelesse thing, and I am euen ashamed •• mention: but because it is mentioned, let such know, th•• they shall be accounted among such whoremongers and adul••∣rers * 1.302 as God will iudge.

§. 69. Of husbands louing their wiues more then themselues.

The quantity of Christs loue cannot be expressed: for the * 1.303 measure of it was aboue measure. a 1.304 He gaue himselfe for his Church, and in that respect he calleth himselfe that b 1.305 Good sheepheard that gaue his life for his sheepe. c 1.306 Greater loue then this hath no man. What will not he doe for his spouse, that gaue his life for her?

This may seeme to be too high a straine, and pitch of loue for an husband to attaine vnto: a matter wherein he is to * 1.307 ••eaue his patterne, and not to follow Christ: but yet S. Iohn addeth euen this extent to the loue of our brethren: We ought saith he) to lay downe our liues for the brethren: therefore by ••ust consequence for our wiues. But that this extent be not stretched too farre, and husbands cast into a pit of needlesse ••erill, two cautions must be noted,

1. That there be an absolute necessity, to bring vs to this * 1.308 ••raite of parting with our life: which is, when the good we ••ime at in the behalfe of our wiues cannot any other way be ••ffected, but by venturing our life. There was no other way •••• redeeme the Church, but by the bloud of Christ.

2. That the good we intend in this case to our wiues be of ••reater valew then our temporall life: as is the good of her ••ule, the sauing of it. Thus the Apostle saith, I will most gladly bestowed for your soules. Which minde men must much more * 1.309 ••rie towards their wiues. It was for our saluation that Christ ••ue himselfe.

§. 70. Of husbands vnkindnesse.

Contrary is their vnkindnesse that preferre euery trifle of ••••eir owne before the good of their wiues: their profit, their ••easure, their promotion, cleane draw away their hearts and ••••fections from their wiues. If any extraordinary charge must •• laid out, or pains taken for their wiues good, little loue ••ll then appeare: whereby it appeares that there was no true ••••d sound loue setled in their hearts towards their wiues. As ••ld and other like mettals are tryed by the fire, so loue by ••••ictions and crosses.

§. 71. Of combats in pretence of wiues honour.

Contrary in another extreme is the ouer-bold and ouer-hea∣dy

pretended manhood of such husbands as vpon euery iea∣lous surmize and sleight report, are ready to make challenges of fight, and to enter into single combats and duels, on pre∣tence of maintaining their wiues honour. This being no war∣rantable course of righting a wrong, no honour can redound to the wife thereby, but much dishonour and danger to the husband. If he preuaile ouer his aduersarie and kill, he is made guilty of murther thereby, and so reproach and shame must needs come to himselfe, wife, and whole family: if he be ouercome and slaine, she may be reputed more guilty then she was before. And oft it falleth out that God in iust iudgement giueth ouer the challenger into his aduersaries hand, because he hath vndertaken so indirect a course.

§. 72. Of husbands * 1.310 Constancy in loue.

VI. The continuance of Christs loue was without date: a 1.311 Hauing loued his owne, he loued them vnto the end. His loue was constant (not by fits, now louing, then hating) and b 1.312 euer∣lasting (neuer repenting thereof, neuer changing or altering his minde) no prouocations, no transgressions could euer make him forget to loue, and cease to doe that good which he intended for his Church: note what he said to her euen when she reuoulted from him, Thou hast played the harlot with many * 1.313 louers, yet returne againe to me: and againe, My mercy shall not depart away.

For his loue resteth not on the desert of his Church, but on the vnchangeablenesse of his owne will. As this manifested Christs loue to be true sound loue, so it made it profitable and beneficiall to the Church, which, notwithstanding her many frailties, by virtue hereof is glorified.

This last branch must be added to all the former branches * 1.314 of an husbands loue, or else they will be all in vaine and to no purpose. This giueth the truest tryall of sound loue. Such was the loue betwixt Dauid and Ionathan: the soundest loue that euer was, betwixt partie and partie. This bringeth the greatest glory to the partie which loueth: and the greatest be∣nefit to the partie which is loued. That a mans loue may thus remaine firme and inuiolable,

1. He must be sure to lay a good foundation; he must

ground his loue on Gods ordinance: and loue his wife in re∣gard of the matrimoniall bond which knitteth them together, and that neere vnion which thence ariseth; and so it will last so long as that knot lasteth.

2. He must further support and strengthen it with an inui∣olable resolution to be changed and altered with no prouoca∣tion, but rather to passe by all infirmities; indeauouring in loue to redresse them if possibly he can: if not, to beare with them.

§. 73. Of husbands variablenesse.

Contrary is their variablenesse, whose loue is ready to turne as a weather cocke with euery blast of a contrary winde: now ••ender-hearted, then againe hard-hearted: now smiling, then ••owring: now giuing this and that fauour, then denying eue∣ry thing, euen such things as are needfull.

Many whose loue was as hot as fire while their wiues were ••oung, or their friends liued, or while they pleased them, when ••hose occasions are taken away, proue in their loue as cold ••s ice.

Againe others by some continuance in doing good to their wiues, thinke it a burden: and waxing weary cleane leaue off ••heir former good course; which plainly sheweth that they ne∣••er truly and intirely loued their wiues.

By this patterne of Christ here propounded to husbands, ••e haue on the one side a good direction to teach vs how to ••••ue our wiues, as hath beene particularly declared; and on the ••ther side, matter of humiliation, in that it sheweth vs how ••••re short we come of our bounden duty. Howsoeuer, wiues ••ay most complaine of their burden, because it is a Subiection ••hereunto by nature we are all loath to yeeld: yet I am sure * 1.315 ••••e heauiest burden is laid vpon the husbands shoulders: and ••uch more easie it is to performe the part of a good wife, then a good husband.

§. 74. Of husbands louing their wiues * 1.316 as themselues.

To the example of Christ the Apostle annexeth the pat∣••••ne of ones selfe, in these words: So ought men to loue their * 1.317 ••••es as their owne bodies.

Quest. Is not the former patterne sufficient? Is this latter more excellent, or more perfect?

Answ. Christs example is a full, compleat, perfect, and * 1.318 euery way sufficient patterne; farre more excellent then this of a mans selfe: this is not annexed to adde any thing to that, or in regard of the excellency hereof, but only in regard of our dulnesse, to make the point somewhat more plaine and per∣spicuous. * 1.319 For this patterne is more sensible and better discer∣ned. Euery one knoweth how he loueth his owne body: but few or none know how Christ loueth his Church. Besides, * 1.320 that example of Christ may seeme too high and excellent for any to attaine vnto, euen inimitable; therefore to shew that he requireth no more then a man may performe, if he will set himselfe with care and conscience to doe his duty, he addeth the patterne of ones selfe; that which one doth to his body, if he will, he may doe to his wife.

No direction can be taken from this latter patterne, but * 1.321 might be referred to the former, as most of the former (though in a farre meaner manner) may be referred to the latter. For the loue which a man beareth to himselfe is true, and intire without all dissimulation: the most dissembling wretch in the world (who in his dealings with other men doth nothing vp∣rightly) nor will nor can dissemble with himselfe; though o∣ther men shall neuer know the depth of his heart, yet the spi∣rit * 1.322 which is in him, euen himselfe, knoweth it: so as this patterne also presseth truth and sincerity on husbands in their affection towards their wiues: of all other they may not dissemble and deale doubly with them; but let them know the intirenesse of their affection towards them: and see they neither faune o•• them, nor flatter them. They which pretend great loue to their wiues in shew only, offend against nature it selfe. As the foresaid loue of a mans owne selfe is for manner intire and true, so also free not forced: and for measure as great as possibly i•• can be, and for continuance, constant, and so like to Christ loue. But there are two points especially to be considered in the loue of ones selfe which aboue others are most sensibly dis∣cerned * 1.323 in this patterne. 1. Tendernesse. 2. Cheerefulnesse.

No other man will or can so tenderly handle a mans hand

arme, legge or any other part of his body, as himselfe: he is very sensible of his owne smart.

The metaphors which the Apostle vseth in these words, He nourisheth and cherisheth it, doe liuely set forth this tender∣nesse: * 1.324 for they are taken from fowles and birds which very charily, and tenderly houer ouer their young ones, couering them all ouer with their wings and feathers, but so bearing vp their bodies as no weight lieth vpon them.

Thus ought husbands with all tendernesse, and mildnesse * 1.325 to deale with their wiues, as we haue before noted in many particulars: only this example of a mans selfe I thought good to set before husbands, as a liuely patterne wherein they might behold a president without exception, going before them, and whereby they might receiue excellent direction for the better performing of the particulars before noted.

Againe, no friend, no parent, no other party will or can so * 1.326 willingly and cheerefully doe any kindnesse for one, as a man for himselfe. This among other is one especiall point which the law aimeth at, when it enioynes a man to loue his neighbour * 1.327 as himselfe, namely, as willingly and readily as himselfe. What∣soeuer a man doth for himselfe he doth much more cheere∣fully then for another. There needeth no other proofe then experience. Let men take notice of their owne minde and dis∣position when they doe things for themselues, and this will be as cleere as the light when the Sunne shineth forth at ••oone day.

Such an affection ought husbands to haue to their wiues: * 1.328 they ought more willingly and cheerefully to doe any thing ••or their wiues then for parents, children, friends or any other. Though this cheerefulnesse be an inward disposition of the ••eart, yet may it be manifested by a mans forwardnesse and ••••adinesse to doe his wife good: when his wife shall no soo∣ner desire a kindnesse, then he will be ready to grant it: as ••ooz saith to Ruth, I will doe to thee all that thou requirest; yea, * 1.329 by any meanes he may know that this or that will be be∣••oofull to her, though she desire it not, yet to effect it for her: which was the minde of the said Booz to Ruth, as the history •••• many particulars sheweth.

Contrary is the disposition of those husbands who so grudgingly, repiningly, and discontentedly doe those things which they doe in their wiues behalfe, as their wiues had ra∣ther they were not done at all. The manner of doing them causeth more griefe to tender hearted wiues, then the things themselues can doe good.

Hitherto of the manner which husbands ought to obserue in performing their duties. The reasons to inforce the same remaine to be handled.

§. 75. Of Christs example, a motiue to prouoke husbands to loue their wiues.

The forenamed examples of Christ and of our selues as * 1.330 they are patternes for our direction, so generall motiues to prouoke and stirre vs vp the more to performe all the fore∣named duties after the manner prescribed.

A greater, and stronger motiue cannot be yeelded then the * 1.331 example of Christ. Example in it selfe is of great force to pro∣uoke vs to doe any thing: especially if it be the example of some great one, a man of place and renoune.

But who greater then Christ? What more worthy patterne? If (as was * 1.332 shewed) the example of the Church be of great force to moue wiues to be subiect to their husbands, the ex∣ample of Christ must needs be of much greater force to moue husbands to loue their wiues. A great honour it is to be like vnto Christ: and his example is a perfect patterne.

Two things there be which in Christs example are espe∣cially * 1.333 to be noted to moue husbands to loue their wiues.

1. That great inequality which is betwixt him and his spouse.

2. That small benefit which he reapeth by louing her.

For the better discerning of that inequality, the greatnesse of * 1.334 Christ on the one side, and the meanesse of the Church on the other, are duly to be weighed.

Christs greatnesse is in Scripture set forth by comparing him with creatures, and the Creator. Compared with creatures he is farre more excellent then the most excellent, as the Apo∣stle by many arguments proueth in the first chapter to Hebr. that whole chapter is spent in proofe of this point: And in

another place it is said that a 1.335 He is set farre aboue all principality and power, and might, and dominion, and euery name that is named not only in this world, but also in that which is to come.

Compared with the Creator he is no whit inferiour to him, but b 1.336 equall: c 1.337 Being the brightnesse of glory, and the expresse image of his person: and that d 1.338 word of whom it is said, In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God: All things were made by him &c. So as he is the very Creator himselfe, eternall, infinite, incomprehensible. Thus is Christs greatnesse inexplicable.

The meanesse of the Church is as low on the other side: she is a creature, fashioned out of the earth, proceeding from the loines of corrupt Adam, not only finite, but in it selfe vile and base: The Prophet e 1.339 Ezechiel doth set her forth in her liuely colours as she is in her selfe. Compared therefore vnto Christ she is f 1.340 nothing, lesse then nothing. What equality, what proportion can there then be betwixt Christ and her?

But if man and woman be compared together, we shall finde a neere equality: and that both in the points of their humi∣liation, and also of their exaltation. In regard of the former, they are both of the same mould, of the same corrupt nature, subiect to the same infirmities, at length brought to the same end. In regard of the latter the best and greatest priuiledges are common to both of them: they are both made after the same image, redeemed by the same price, partakers of the same grace, and heires together of the same inheritance.

Quest. What is then the preferment of the male kinde? What is the excellency of an husband?

Answ. Only outward and momentany. Outward, in the things of this world only: for g 1.341 in Christ Iesus they are both one. Momentany, for the time of this life only: for h 1.342 in the resur∣rection they neither marie, nor are giuen in mariage, but are as the Angels of God in heauen: then all subiection of wiues to husbands ceaseth.

To conclude this point, the inequality betwixt Christ and the Church, and equality betwixt man and wife being such as hath beene declared; seeing Christ vouchsafeth to loue his Church, ought not man thereby be moued to loue his wife?

The other point concerning the small benefit which Christ * 1.343 reapeth by his Church, will yet further inforce the point: for il∣lustration whereof we will note the great benefit which man reapeth by his wife.

The benefit which Christ reapeth from the Church is in one word nothing. For Christ is in himselfe Al-sufficient: he neither needeth any thing, nor can receiue any thing: i 1.344 If thou be est righteous, what giuest thou to him? Or what receiueth he of thine hand? Yet abundantly he bestoweth all manner of gifts, temporall, and spirituall, earthly and heauenly. It was not therefore his owne good that he respected in louing the Church, but her good: for he being k 1.345 God became man; being Lord of heauen and earth, he tooke vpon him l 1.346 the forme of a seruant; being m 1.347 rich he became poore: hauing the n 1.348 Keyes of hell and of death, and being o 1.349 the Lord of life, he p 1.350 humbled himselfe, and became obedient vnto the death: thus to shew loue to his Church he left much for her sake, but receiued nothing of her.

But the benefit which man reapeth from a wife is very great: for q 1.351 It was not good for a man to be alone: in so much as r 1.352 He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing; and that in all the points of goodnesse, a profitable thing, a comfortable thing, a de∣lightfull thing. They know not the benefit of the maried estate, who * 1.353 prefer single life before it, especially if the maried estate be ordered by Gods word, and man and wife carefull to performe their owne duty each to other.

To apply this point also, and to bring it to the conclusion: * 1.354 If Christ who can receiue nothing from the Church notwith∣standing loue her, ought not men much more to loue their wiues, who many waies receiue much good from them, and without whom they cannot well be?

This example of Christ is the rather to be noted, because it cleane wipeth away all those false colours, and vaine pretences which many alledge as reasons, to shew that there is little rea∣son they should loue their wiues: some of their pretences are these.

1. Their wiues are of a farre meaner ranke then * 1.355 themselues; should they then performe duty to their inferi∣ours?

They commonly who marrie their kitchin maids, or others farre vnder their degree, alledge this pretence.

Answ. I might reply, That mariage aduanceth a wife to the degree of her husband: and that it was his owne follie to marrie one so meane: but for the purpose and point in hand, let any tell me, whether the supposed disparitie betwixt them & their wiues, be in any degree comparable to that which is betwixt Christ and the Church: yet Christ thinketh not much to doe duties of loue to his Church.

2. There is nothing in their wiues worthy to be loued. * 1.356

Answ. This very thing, that such an one is thy wife, is matter enough to make her worthy of loue. But what was there in the Church to make her worthy of Christs loue? If it be said that she is endued with many excellent graces, which make her amiable in Christs sight: I answer, that of her selfe she hath none of those graces, Christ hath bestowed them vpon her, and so made her ••miable: and thus oughtest thou to endeuour by vsing all good meanes thou canst to make thy wife answerable to thy loue: but howsoeuer, to loue her.

3. Their wiues giue iust occasion to be hated by reason of their * 1.357 beeuishnesse, stoutnesse, insolencie, and other like intolerable ••ices.

Answ. No occasion may seeme iust to moue an husband to hate his wife: nor any vice seeme to him intolerable: with goodnes he ••••ught to ouercome euill. If notorious sins seemed intolerable to Christ, or that he thought any occasion iust to cause hatred, many ••hat are of his Church would oft draw his hatred vpon them: but Christ hateth neuer a member of his Church.

4. There is no hope that euer I shall receiue any helpe of my * 1.358 wife, or benefit from her.

Ans. There is little charitie in such as can conceiue no hope: for ••ue hopeth all things: but yet the case so standeth with Christ. The * 1.359 Church is so vtterly vnable to help or benefit him, as he may iustly ••y, he cannot hope to receiue any thing frō her. Christ loueth the ••hurch for her own good, not for his; so ought husbands. Thus if Christs example be well weighed, & obserued of husbands, it will ••ford matter enough to remoue euery doubt or scruple raised to ••enate their affections from their wiues. Fitly therefore hath the

Apostle set it before husbands, both to direct them how to loue their wiues, and also to moue them so to doe.

§. 76. Of a mans loue to himselfe, a motiue to prouoke him to loue his wife.

To the same purpose that Christs example tendeth, tendeth also the patterne of a mans selfe. Great is the affection that a man beareth to himselfe, to his owne flesh, his owne bodie: he neuer hateth, but euer loueth himselfe: no sore, no disease, no paine, no stinch that the flesh bringeth to a man, can make him hate it: but rather all manner of infirmities doe make him the more to pitty, tender, and cherish it. This is a worke of nature: the most hea∣thenish, and barbarous, that euer were, doe it. Now a wife being to a man as his bodie and his flesh (for they two are one flesh) and God hauing commanded men to loue their wiues as their owne bodies, these conclusions will necessarily follow from this motiue:

1. He that loueth not his wife is more caried with the instinct of nature, then with the expresse charge of the God of nature. Na∣tures instinct moueth him to loue his bodie. But Gods expresse charge moueth him not, to loue his wife.

2. He that loueth not his wife is worse then an infidell and a barbarian, yea then a very beast: for all these loue their owne bo∣dies, and their owne flesh: but a wife (by Gods ordinance) is as ones bodie, and his flesh.

3. He that loueth his wife loueth himselfe: the Apostle him∣selfe * 1.360 in these very words layeth downe this conclusion: from whence by the rule of contraries this also will follow, He that lo∣ueth not his wife, loueth not himselfe.

4. He that loueth not his wife cannot but bring woe and mis∣chiefe vpon himselfe. For the damage and mischiefe which fol∣loweth on a wife, through any neglect of dutie on her husband part, followeth also on him: as the mischiefe which followeth on the bodie through any negligence of the head, lighteth also on the head.

If these be not motiues sufficient to prouoke an husband to loue his wife, I know not what can be sufficient.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Husbands bound to du∣tie. Propterea de∣bent mulieribus suis ad virtutis exemplum se praebere, quia viri sunt. Aug. de adult. Con∣iug. l. 2. c. 8.
• a 1.2

  1 Cor. 11. 7.
• * 1.3

  Husbands particular du∣ties.
• * 1.4

  Treat. 3. §. 2. 1. Husbands must loue their wiues.
• b 1.5

  Eph. 5. 25, 28, 33.
• c 1.6

  Gen. 24. 67.
• * 1.7

  No dutie well performed without loue.
• * 1.8

  1 Cor. 16. 14.
• * 1.9

  2. A wife the most proper obiect of loue. Deut. 13. 6.
• * 1.10

  3. Loue keepes a man from abusing his authority.
• * 1.11

  4. Loue ma∣keth him beare with her infirmities. 5. His loue draweth loue from her.
• * 1.12

  How loue is an husbands par∣ticular dutie. 1 Cor. 13. 5.
• * 1.13

  Loue a com∣mon condi∣tion to be an∣nexed to eue∣rie dutie.
• * 1.14

  Contrary, 1. Hatred.
• * 1.15

  Deut. 22. 13, &c.
• * 1.16

  Deut. 24. 3.
• * 1.17

  Mat. 19. 8.
• * 1.18

  2. Want of loue.
• * 1.19

  1 Ioh. 4. 20.
• * 1.20

  Treat. 3. §. 9. Branches of loue.
• * 1.21

  II. Husbands must main∣taine their au∣thoritie.
• * 1.22

  1 Pet. 3. 7. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉.
• * 1.23

  See Treat. 3. §. 3. Reasons.
• * 1.24

  1. Gods autho∣ritie maintai∣ned by the husbands.
• * 1.25

  1 Cor. 11. 7.
• * 1.26

  2. The wiues good promo∣ted thereby.
• * 1.27

  It is in the mans power to maintaine his authoritie. 1 Tim. 4. 12.
• * 1.28

  How a mans authority may be well main∣tained. Ad viros per∣tinet virtute vincere, & ex∣emplo regere foe∣mina••. Aug. de Adult. Coniug. lib. 2. cap. 8.
• * 1.29

  Contrary, 1. base carriage
• * 1.30

  2. Cruell dea∣ling.
• * 1.31

  3. Yeelding in vnlawfull things.
• a 1.32

  Dent. 13. 6, 7.
• b 1.33

  1 King. 21. 7, 9.
• * 1.34

  1 King. 11. 4.
• * 1.35

  Maximè obser∣uate vos at{que} attendite ani∣m bus vestris ô viri ab vxoris concitationibus atque malis in∣stigationibus, per hanc enim in vltimo supplan∣tare Job visus est diabolus, &c. per istas etiam nunc plu∣rimos subuertit. Orig. in Ioh. lib. 2.
• * 1.36

  Treat 3. §. 3. How a mans authority may be well ma∣naged.
• * 1.37

  Husbands must account their wiues yoke-fellowes. 1 Pet. 3. 7.
• * 1.38

  Gen. 2. 18. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉
• * 1.39

  Eph. 5. 28. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉.
• * 1.40

  Treat. 3. §. 4.
• * 1.41

  Rom. 8. 17. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉.
• * 1.42

  1 Cor. 3. 9. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉.
• * 1.43

  Vxor & serua & domina est viri, Chrysost. in 1 Cor. 7. hom. 19.
• * 1.44

  Debet in vx∣orem vir domi∣nari, vt animus in corpus, cōsen∣tiens ei, & con∣spirans bene∣uolentia. Plut. praec. connub.
• * 1.45

  Non es domi∣nus sed mari∣tus: non an∣cillam sorti∣tus es, sed vxorem: gu∣bernatorem ••e Deus voluit esse sexus infe∣rioris, non prae∣potentem. Ambr. Hexaem. lib. 5. cap. 7.
• * 1.46

  Treat 3. §. 5. IIII. Hus∣bands must account their owne wiues best for them.
• a 1.47

  Eph. 5. 25.
• b 1.48

  Ves. 28.
• * 1.49

  Reason. Euery ones wife is proui∣ded by God.
• c 1.50

  Pro. 19. 14.
• d 1.51

  & 18. 22.
• e 1.52

  Socrates in∣terrogatus qua gratia vxoris mores toleraret, respondit, vt gymnasium & palaestram phi∣losophiae domi habeam. Chrys. hom. 26. in 1 Cor. 11.
• f 1.53

  Ars tua Ti∣phy iacet si non sit in aequore fluctus Ouid. de Trist. l. 4. eleg. 3.
• * 1.54

  Treat. 3. §. 7. V. Husbands must intirely delight in their wiues.
• a 1.55

  Ezec. 24. 16. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉
• b 1.56

  Gen. 24. 67.
• * 1.57

  Pro. 5. 18, 19. expounded.
• * 1.58

  〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 Col. 1. 13. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉.
• * 1.59

  〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉
• * 1.60

  Nihil viro vx∣ore bona ama∣bilius. Hier. in Ezec. 24.
• * 1.61

  Gen. 26. 8.
• * 1.62

  Treat. 3. §. 10.
• * 1.63

  VI. Husbands must kindly accept euery good duty of his wife. Gen. 21. 8.
• * 1.64

  1 Sam. 1. 23.
• * 1.65

  Contrary, 1. To take no notice of their wiues good∣nesse.
• * 1.66

  2. Sleightly to passe it ouer. 1 Sam. 25. 21.
• * 1.67

  3. Scornfully to reiect it.
• * 1.68

  Rom. 12. 21.
• * 1.69

  Ephes. 6. 4.
• * 1.70

  Treat. 3. §. 11. 55.
• * 1.71

  How a mans good accep∣tance of his wiues duty is manifested.
• * 1.72

  1. By answe∣ring reue∣rence with courtesie. Depone asperi∣tatem morum cum tibi sedula vxor occurrit, &c. Ambr. Hexaem. lib. 5. cap. 7.
• * 1.73

  Courtesie may stand with superio∣rity.
• * 1.74

  Gen. 23. 6, 7.
• * 1.75

  Gen. 33. 3, 4.
• * 1.76

  Esth. 5. 2.
• * 1.77

  Treat. 3. §. 15.
• * 1.78

  2. By granting her humble request.
• a 1.79

  Est. 5. 3.
• b 1.80

  1 King. 1. 28. &c.
• c 1.81

  Gen. 28. 1.
• d 1.82

  & 16. 6.
• e 1.83

  & 21. 10. 11.
• * 1.84

  §. 5.
• * 1.85

  Treat. 3. § 38, 39, &c. & §. 43 44, &c.
• * 1.86

  3. By accep∣ting what she is willing to doe.
• * 1.87

  4. By forbea∣ring to exact too much.
• * 1.88

  5. By suffering her to dwell where it is meetest for her.
• a 1.89

  Gen. 31. 4, &c.
• * 1.90

  6. By forbea∣ring to tire her with guests.
• * 1.91

  7. By suffering her to manage the affaires of the house.
• b 1.92

  1 Sam. 1. 23.
• c 1.93

  Pro. 31. 11.
• d 1.94

  1 Tim. 5. 14. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉.
• * 1.95

  Materfami∣lias.
• * 1.96

  What things are to be put to the wiues disposing.
• e 1.97

  Pro. 31. 21, 22.
• f 1.98

  Uers. 15.
• g 1.99

  Gen. 16. 6.
• h 1.100

  1 Tim. 5. 10. Tit 2 4.
• * 1.101

  2 King. 4. 19.
• * 1.102

  Cautions a∣bout referring matters of the house to the wiues orde∣ring.
• i 1.103

  Pro. 31. 11.
• k 1.104

  Gen. 39. 6. Difference betwixt the trust put in a wife, and in others.
• * 1.105

  In what things an husband manifesteth too much strictnesse.
• * 1.106

  Gen. 2. 18.
• * 1.107

  Pro. 20. 7. & 14. 8.
• * 1.108

  & 20. 3.
• * 1.109

  1 Tim. 6. 4.
• * 1.110

  Husbands must com∣mend and re∣ward good things in their wiues.
• * 1.111

  a Rom. 13. 3.
• c 1.112

  Vers. 31.
• * 1.113

  b Prou. 31. 28, 29.
• * 1.114

  Lege apud T. Liv. Dec. 1. l. 1. quid inde eve∣nit, quòd regij iuuenes suam quis{que} vxorem miris modis lau∣dare.
• * 1.115

  Quisque suam laudot, studijs certamina cres∣cunt. Ouid. Fast. lib. 2.
• * 1.116

  Treat. 3. §. 10.
• * 1.117

  Oportet virum praecsse vxori oblectando, & indulgendo. Plut. praec. Con∣nub.
• * 1.118

  2 Tim. 2. 24.
• * 1.119

  Col. 3 19.
• * 1.120

  Treat. 3. §. 13. 14. Wherein a husbands mildnesse is manifested.
• * 1.121

  Of his speech about her be∣hinde her backe, See Treat. 2. Part. 2. §. 36. The speech of husbands to their wiues sweetned with mildnesse.
• * 1.122

  1. Mild and kinde titles.
• * 1.123

  Contrary, vn∣seemely titles.
• * 1.124

  Instruction to be giuen with meeknesse.
• * 1.125

  2 Tim. 2. 25. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉.
• * 1.126

  Directions to instruct with meekenesse.
• * 1.127

  Contrary, harshnesse.
• * 1.128

  Treat. 3. §. 43, 51, 52. 63, 64. &c. Commande∣ments to be ordered with mildnesse.
• * 1.129

  What things he may com∣mand his wife.
• * 1.130

  What things he may for∣bid his wife.
• * 1.131

  Such things as a wife maketh doubt of, not to be pressed vpon her.
• * 1.132

  Rom. 14. 23.
• * 1.133

  Of what doubtfull things the commanding power of a gouernour may be a warrant.
• * 1.134

  Treat. 4. §. 66.
• * 1.135

  How a wiues refusing to yeeld may be discerned to be on obsti∣nacy or weakenesse.
• * 1.136

  Treat. 3. §. 43, 44. &c.
• * 1.137

  Treat. 3. §. 28.
• * 1.138

  Est. 1. 10.
• * 1.139

  Reasons of pressing a cō∣mandement to be rendred.
• * 1.140

  1. Comman∣ding must be rare.
• * 1.141

  2. Comman∣ding must be by way of in∣treating. Philem. 9.
• * 1.142

  Gen. 12. 13.
• * 1.143

  Treat. 3. §. 47. Husbands ought to re∣proue.
• a 1.144

  Pro. 15. 31.
• b 1.145

  & 6. 23.
• c 1.146

  Psal. 141. 5. See the fruits of reproofe, Treat. 3. §. 47.
• d 1.147

  Gen. 30. 2.
• e 1.148

  Iob 2. 10.
• f 1.149

  2 Sam. 6. 21, 22.
• * 1.150

  Leuit. 19. 17.
• * 1.151

  Treat. 3. §. 47 An husbands reproofe must be sweetned with mildnes.
• * 1.152

  §. 44.
• * 1.153

  Matter of reproofe. 1. Iust.
• * 1.154

  Matth. 18. 15.
• * 1.155

  1 Tim 5. 19.
• * 1.156

  2. Weigh. y.
• m 1.157

  Gen. 30. 2.
• n 1.158

  Iob 2. 10.
• o 1.159

  2 Sam. 6. 21, 22.
• * 1.160

  Contrary, 1. Credulitie.
• * 1.161

  2. Suspicion.
• * 1.162

  3. Rashnesse.
• * 1.163

  Luk 4. 23. Mat. 7. 5. Rom. 2. 21. Rom. 2. 1.
• * 1.164

  Gen. 38. 26. 2 Sam. 12. 13.
• * 1.165

  Manner of reprouing.
• * 1.166

  1. Seldome.
• * 1.167

  Contrary, continuall chiding.
• * 1.168

  2. Reproue mildly. Gal 6. 1.
• * 1.169

  3. Reproue in secret. Mat. 18. 15.
• * 1.170

  Direction for reprouing such a wife as regardeth not a secret re∣proofe. Mat. 18. 15.
• * 1.171

  Direction for reprouing a wife whose offence is publike.
• * 1.172

  4. Reproue gently. Pro. 25. 15.
• * 1.173

  A reproofe may be sharpe not bitter. Gen. 30. 2. Iob 2. 10.
• * 1.174

  2 Sam. 6. 21, 22. Rebuke neuer to be giuen by a man in passion.
• * 1.175

  Mat. 6. 22.
• * 1.176

  Rebuke to be put off while a wife is in pas∣sion.
• * 1.177

  1 Sam. 20. 30.
• * 1.178

  1 Sam. 20. 32.
• * 1.179

  Treat. 3. §. 10.
• * 1.180

  An husbands cariage must be milde.
• * 1.181

  1. A milde countenance.
• * 1.182

  Gen. 33. 10.
• * 1.183

  Psal. 4. 6.
• * 1.184

  Gen. 4. 6.
• * 1.185

  Gen. 31. 2.
• * 1.186

  Contrary. 1. A lofty brow.
• * 1.187

  2. A grim looke.
• * 1.188

  3. A frowning forehead.
• * 1.189

  4. A fiery eye.
• * 1.190

  2. Mild ge∣slure.
• * 1.191

  Obiect.
• * 1.192

  Gen. 26. 8.
• * 1.193

  Answ.
• * 1.194

  1 Sam. 1. 4, 5.
• * 1.195

  1 Sam. 1. 4.
• * 1.196

  Vipera virus ob venerationem nuptiarum euo∣mit. Et tu du∣ritiem animi, tuferitatem, tu crudelitatem ob vnionis re∣uerentiam non deponis? Basil. Hexaem. hom. 7. Ambr. Hexaem. l. 5. c. 7. vrget hanc ipsam si∣militudinem.
• * 1.197

  Huiusmodi vi∣rum (siquidem vir appellandus est potius quàm fera) & patri∣cidae, & matri∣cidae similem dixeris. Chrys. hom. 26. in 1 Cor. 11.
• * 1.198

  An husband may not beat his wife.
• * 1.199

  Reasons. 1. No warrant in the word.
• * 1.200

  §. 4.
• * 1.201

  2. Small dispa∣rity.
• * 1.202

  Summa iniuria est vitae sociam, & in rebus ne∣cessarijs tibi coniunctam, taquàm manci∣pium ignominia affioere. Chrys. ibid.
• * 1.203

  3. Neere con∣iunction.
• a 1.204

  Eph. 5. 31.
• b 1.205

  1 King. 18. 28.
• c 1.206

  Mar. 5. 5.
• * 1.207

  Eph. 5. 30. Mat. 28. 18.
• * 1.208

  4. No profit: much mis∣chiefe.
• * 1.209

  Adhibitis ver∣beribus morbus non tollitur, sed augetur, & exasperatur. Melch. Iun. quaest. Polit. par. 2.
• * 1.210

  Nullum sit tam magnum peccatum, quod ad verberan∣dum vxorem compellat. Chrys. hom. 26. in 1 Cor. 11.
• * 1.211

  Sedefendendo.
• * 1.212

  Gal. 6. 2.
• * 1.213

  Considera mu∣lierem debile vas esse: tu au∣tem vir propte∣rea princeps factus es, vt subditae feras imbecillitatem. Chrys. hom. 26. in 1. Cor. 11.
• * 1.214

  1. Pet. 3. 7.
• * 1.215

  Directions to husbands for bearing with their wiues in∣firmities.
• * 1.216

  Neque Saram tanquam steri∣lem contempsit Abraham: n••{que} quicquam tale exprobauit. Si vxor pauper sit, noli exprobare: & si stulta, noli ei insultare, Ibid. Uxor ira∣cunda &c. ad∣monenda & ad∣iuvanda consi∣lio, & omni co∣natu anniten. dum, vt illis li∣beretur affecti∣bus, Ibid.
• * 1.217

  1 Sam. 1. 8. Gen. 21. 14.
• * 1.218

  Prou. 19. 11. Eccl 7. 23.
• * 1.219

  Gen. 30. 1. 2, &c.
• * 1.220

  Reason. Best tryall of a mans wis∣dome & loue.
• * 1.221

  Matth. 5. 46. Luk. 6. 32, 33.
• * 1.222

  Eph. 5. 23.
• * 1.223

  Treat. 1. §. 15. & Treat. 3. §. 73.
• * 1.224

  1. Prouiding things need∣full.
• * 1.225

  1 Pet. 3. 7. 1 Tim. 5. 17.
• * 1.226

  1 Tim. 5. 8.
• * 1.227

  Recordare quòd pater vxoris tā∣quam depositum quoddam filiam tibi tradidit, & omnibus reli∣ctis, matre, do∣mo, & seipso, omnem eius cu∣rā tuae dexterae commisit. Chrys. hō. 26. in 1. Cor. 11.
• * 1.228

  Contrary, to take a wife on∣ly for him∣selfe.
• * 1.229

  Pro. 18. 22.
• * 1.230

  Priuate means of edification.
• * 1.231

  Act. 10. 2, 30. Iudg. 17. 10.
• * 1.232

  2 King. 4. 11.
• * 1.233

  Publike meanes of edification.
• * 1.234

  1 Sam. 1. 7. & 2. 19. Luk. 2. 41.
• * 1.235

  Ezek. 3. 18. &c.
• b 1.236

  Jsa. 4. 1.
• c 1.237

  Exo. 21. 10.
• * 1.238

  Treat. 2. Part. 2. §. 29.
• * 1.239

  Treat. 3. §. 49.
• * 1.240

  The paines of womens tra∣uell.
• * 1.241

  Psal. 48 6. Isa. 13. 8. & 21. 3 Ier. 4. 31. & 30. 6. Mic. 49.
• * 1.242

  Gen. 35. 16, &c. 1 Sam. 4. 19. 20.
• * 1.243

  * See Treat 2. Part. 2. § 30. 39.
• * 1.244

  Si quid vxor peccauerit con∣solare & noli moerorem auge∣re. Chrys. hom. 26. in 1 Cor. 11.
• * 1.245

  Treat. 3. §. 38.
• * 1.246

  1 Sam. 1. 23.
• * 1.247

  §. 6.
• * 1.248

  Treat. 3. §. 23. 29. 33.
• * 1.249

  Pro. 31. 15. &c. Vers. 21. Uers. 28.
• * 1.250

  Vers. 20.
• * 1.251

  Vers. 11.
• * 1.252

  Uers. 28.
• * 1.253

  1 Pet. 3. 7.
• * 1.254

  Eph 4. 8.
• * 1.255

  Husbands be∣fore they die must make their will euen for their wiues good.
• * 1.256

  1 King. 1. 21. Husbands on their death∣bed must com∣mend their wiues to some faithfull friend. Iob. 19 26, 27. Reason. Truest triall of loue at de∣parture.
• * 1.257

  Contrary. 1. A wilfull inability.
• * 1.258

  2 Making away their wiues ioynter, or any other right.
• * 1.259

  3. Defeating of thirds.
• * 1.260

  Rom. 13. 5.
• * 1.261

  4. Making no will.
• * 1.262

  Gen. 20 16.
• * 1.263

  Ruth 3. 9.
• * 1.264

  Ruth 2. 12.
• * 1.265

  Treat. 1. §. 15. and treat. 3. §. 73.
• * 1.266

  1 Sam. 27. 3.
• * 1.267

  & 30. 18.
• * 1.268

  A wife must be kept from being sedu∣ced.
• * 1.269

  A wise stolne away must be fetched home. Iudg. 19. 2. 2 San. 3. 13, 14. 1 Sam. 30. 18. A wiues credit must be main∣tained.
• * 1.270

  See Treat. 2. Part 2. §. 31. &c.
• * 1.271

  Luke 10. 16. A wife must be defended against stran∣gers, seruants, and children. Est. 7. 7, 8. &c.
• * 1.272

  Licèt omnia proijcias, nihil molestius con∣tinget quàm non habere be∣neuolam domi vxorem: pecca∣tum nullum magis dolen∣dum inueneris, quàm cum vx∣ore seditionem habere. Chrysost. hō. 26. in 1. Cor. 11. Genes. 16. 6. & 21. 14.
• * 1.273

  Contrary, Dissolute care∣lesnesse. 1. In suffering seducers to come to the house.
• * 1.274

  2. In suffering
• * 1.275

  wiues to goe whither they list.
• * 1.276

  Luke 15. 4.
• * 1.277

  3. In not re∣garding ill re∣ports of wiues.
• * 1.278

  Pro. 12. 4.
• * 1.279

  4. In suffering wiues to be misused.
• * 1.280

  Exod. 2. 13.
• * 1.281

  5. In boul∣string vp chil∣dren or ser∣uants against wiues.
• * 1.282

  Si illam quae secundum post te locum obtinet contumelia af∣ficis, non pa∣rum tui princi∣patus honori derogas. Chrys. loc. cit.
• * 1.283

  The manner of an husbands loue set forth by Christs manner of lo∣uing his Church in six branches. 1. Christ first loueth the Church.
• * 1.284

  1 Joh. 4. 19.
• * 1.285

  Cant. 1. 2.
• * 1.286

  Husbands must by their loue prouoke their wiues to loue. Pro. 2. 17. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉
• * 1.287

  Sicaput est vir, praecedere debet in omnibus bo∣nis factis vxo∣rem suam, vt illa imitetur virum, & se∣quatur caput suum. Aug. de decem chor. c. 3.
• * 1.288

  Treat. 1. §. 10.
• * 1.289

  Treat. 3. §. 57. 2. Christ lo∣ueth in truth.
• * 1.290

  Vers. 26, 27.
• * 1.291

  Husbands must loue in deed.
• * 1.292

  1 Ioh. 3. 18.
• * 1.293

  1 Cor. 9. 5.
• * 1.294

  3. Christ lo∣ueth freely. Deut. 7. 7, 8.
• * 1.295

  Eph. 5. 27. Husbands loue must be free.
• * 1.296

  1 Cor. 13. 5.
• * 1.297

  1 Pet. 3. 7.
• * 1.298

  4. Christs loue pure. Eph. 5. 26, 27.
• * 1.299

  1 Cor. 12. 12, 13
• * 1.300

  Husbands loue must be chaste. Heb. 13. 4.
• * 1.301

  Treat. 2. part. 2. §. 5, 8.
• * 1.302

  Heb. 13. 4.
• * 1.303

  5 Christs loue extended to the giuing of himselfe
• a 1.304

  Ephes. 5 25.
• b 1.305

  Iohn. 10. 11.
• c 1.306

  & 15. 13.
• * 1.307

  How hus∣bands must loue their wiues more then them∣selues. 1 Iohn. 3. 16.
• * 1.308

  Cautions a∣bout an hus∣bands louing his wife more then himselfe.
• * 1.309

  2 Cor. 12. 15.
• * 1.310

  Treat. 3. §. 6. 6 Christs loue perpetuall.
• a 1.311

  Ioh. 13. 1.
• b 1.312

  Hos. 2. 19.
• * 1.313

  Ier. 3. 1. 2 Sam. 7. 15.
• * 1.314

  Husbands must be con∣stant in their loue.
• * 1.315

  See Treat. 1. §. 10.
• * 1.316

  Treat. 3. §. 59.
• * 1.317

  Eph. 5. 28.
• * 1.318

  To Christs ex∣ample, the patterne of ones selfe is added.
• * 1.319

  1. Because it is more sensi∣ble.
• * 1.320

  2. Because it is more imita∣ble.
• * 1.321

  The patterne of louing ones selfe setteth forth the same things that Christs loue doth.
• * 1.322

  1 Cor. 2. 11.
• * 1.323

  Man is tender towards him∣selfe.
• * 1.324

  Eph. 5. 29.
• * 1.325

  Husbands must deale tenderly with their wiues.
• * 1.326

  Man is cheere∣full in doing himselfe good.
• * 1.327

  Leu. 19. 18.
• * 1.328

  Husbands must be cheerefull in seeking their wiues good.
• * 1.329

  Ruth 3. 11.
• * 1.330

  Generall reasons. 1. Christs example.
• * 1.331

  Christs exam∣ple the grea∣test motiue that can be.
• * 1.332

  Treat. 3. §. 74.
• * 1.333

  Two things in Christs pat∣terne pro∣uoke hus∣bands to loue their wiues.
• * 1.334

  1. The great inequality betwixt Christ and his spouse.
• a 1.335

  Eph. 1. 21.
• b 1.336

  Phil. 2. 6.
• c 1.337

  Heb. 1. 3.
• d 1.338

  Iob. 1. 1, 3.
• e 1.339

  Ezec. 16. 1. &c.
• f 1.340

  Isa. 40. 17.
• g 1.341

  Gal. 3. 28.
• h 1.342

  Mat. 22. 30.
• * 1.343

  2. The small benefit that Christ rea∣peth by louing his Church.
• i 1.344

  Iob 35. 7.
• k 1.345

  1 Tim. 3. 16.
• l 1.346

  Phil. 2. 6, 7.
• m 1.347

  2 Cor. 8 9.
• n 1.348

  Reu. 1. 18.
• o 1.349

  Act. 3. 15.
• p 1.350

  Phil. 2. 8.
• q 1.351

  Gen. 2. 18.
• r 1.352

  Pro. 18. 22.
• * 1.353

  See Treat. 2. Part. 1. §. 27.
• * 1.354

  Christs ex∣ample remo∣ueth all pre∣tences which men make for not louing their wiues.
• * 1.355

  1. Obiect.
• * 1.356

  2. Obiect.
• * 1.357

  3. Obiect.
• * 1.358

  4. Obiect.
• * 1.359

  1. Cor. 13. 7.
• * 1.360

  vers. 28.