A world of vvonders: or An introduction to a treatise touching the conformitie of ancient and moderne wonders or a preparatiue treatise to the Apologie for Herodotus. The argument whereof is taken from the Apologie for Herodotus written in Latine by Henrie Stephen, and continued here by the author himselfe. Translated out of the best corrected French copie.

CHAP. XXVIII. Of the rudenesse and rusticitie of our Ancestors in sundry things.

AS there be some Poets who commend former times, and extoll them to the skies, in the meane time speaking basely of their owne; and others contrarily who (in other respects) make greater recko∣ning of their owne age then of the former: so we cannot but heare how old men praise the good dayes and times which they had in their youth, in comparison of the present: whereas the yonger sort make no ac∣count of any age but of their owne. Now if we consider the reasons which mo∣ued them to thinke and speake in 〈◊〉〈◊〉 sort, we shall find that they did it vpon the same ground and for the same consideration. For as they who so highly honored

and extolled antiquitie, did it in regard of vertue and valour, then farre greater without comparison, then at this day; and they on the contrary which had it in such contempt, did scorne it in regard of the rudenesse and rusticitie which then raigned: so (doubtlesse) the thing for which old men either do or can with any colour preferre times past before the present, is the simplicitie and fidelity of those times. Whereas youth at this day esteeme rather their owne age then any other, for that they see greater cunning and dexteritie, and a more ciuill and vrbane kind of life. So that if any shall say, that when old men speake of the good times which they haue seene, they vnderstand it not onely in regard of that honest, simple and plaine dealing which was then vsed, but in other respects also, I will not greatly contend; so they grant withall, that they did it principally in that regard. For when Horace (describing the qualities of an old man) saith that he is

—Laudator temporis acti, Se puero▪ censor, castigator{que} minorum.

That is,

Of his yong times a man of large report, A sharpe controller of the yonger sort.

His meaning (no doubt) is to signifie the vsuall speech of old men, viz. that all things stood in better termes in their yonger yeares: and that there was not such excesse and riot in the world as is to be seene at this day. Which they speake as be∣ing of opinion that the world waxeth dayly worse and worse: and hereupon wold rule and square, not onely the manners, but also the actions of the yonger sort ac∣cordingly. For if an old man speake of the youth of these times, he will tell you that it is no wonder to see so many mischiefes raging in the world, and that we are not to looke for such golden dayes as he hath seene; the world being cleane changed and turned vp side downe, so that he can hardly remember what he hath seene. And he will especially inuey and declaime against pompe and brauery in apparell, and delicate fa••e▪ which he will affirme to be farre greater now then it was in times past; and that it is the cause of the dearth and scarcitie we now see: as also of many outrages and misdemeanours, and that it maketh men more effeminate. Nay they proceed sometime further, in making the youth of those times petty Saints, when they say (as the author of the Courtier doth relate it with excellent good grace) Io haueua vent' anni che ancor dormiua con mia madre, & mie sorelle: ne seppi iui à gran••tempo che cosa fossero donne: & hora fanciulli non hāno à pena asciutto il capo, che sanno piu malitie che in que tempi non sappeano gli homini fatti. That is: I lay with my mother and sisters till I was twenty yeare old, and knew not of a long time what manner of creature a woman was: whereas children now scarce crept out of the cradle, know mo knacks of knauery then men of yeares did in times past. Now as old men exceed the bounds of truth, by running so far into one extreme: so shall we likewise, if we deny that they had not reason to complaine of a bad change, the world still declining from better to worse. To conclude then, we will easily graunt these gray beards, that in their yonger yeares the world was not so wicked: so that they yeeld to our greene heads, that it was more rude and rustical; and that it was not so wittie, because it was not so wicked.

2 But lest they should say that my tongue runneth at randon: I will instance it by examples. And because there is nothing, which we make greater account of, or iudge more necessary for our bodies, then foode to nourish them, and raiment to cloth them; and therefore are not onely carefull but euen 〈…〉〈…〉 prouiding such necessaries: I wil enter discourse of them in the first place•• ••ouching the first,

therefore (because I take it for a confessed truth, that our ancestors neuer shewed themselues more curious in their diet, then many countreyes at this day,) I shall desire the reader not to take it amisse, if I compare some of their customes and fa∣shions, with those in vse at this present. And first I will beginne with one which is so common and ordinary, that children of tenne or twelue yeares of age may well remember it: and if I shold say that it were yet practised in some places of France, I should not (it may be) speake without my booke. It is a foolish custome taken vp by certaine gentlemen, who to the end they may cunningly deceiue and finely fetch ouer their seruants, cause their table to be furnished at the first seruice, with I know not what fryed fritters, hotchpotches, sippets, sauces, and gallymalfrayes: and then with store of Mutton, Veale, and boūsing peeces of Beefe, which peeces of Beefe they will rather feed vpon, then vpon any other dish. And after that the stomacke hath reuenged his quarrell vpon such grosse meates, they serue in Ca∣pon, Chicken, Pigeon, and wild foule. Yet not all in one course: for they keepe Partridge, Phaysant and other dainties, for the last seruice; the stomacke being not onely satisfied, but euen closed vp. So that it is great pittie to see how the seruitors (poore soules) are glad to eate such meates, as their stomackes were neuer accusto∣med vnto, and to leaue their ordinary fare for their masters and mistresses. I mean how they are to take the paines to eate the finer meates, as wild foule, and venai∣son, and to leaue the grosser for them. What then can the old man answer, Lauda∣tor tēporis acti se puero? Or what can he say (trow we) to defend or excuse the rusti∣city of former times? (for in that I call those that vsed this seemely seruice, but rude and rusticall, I fauour them much.) And were it not that I am afraid I should be ouer troublesome, I would gladly aske them yet another question, touching Partridge, & such like foule, viz. Whether those men had noses or not? and if they had, what noses they were, when they could find no goodnesse in wild foule, and venaison, except it were tainted a litle, that is, (to speake plaine English) except it stunke a little, this stincke seeming to them to be 〈…〉〈…〉 of venaison?

3 But now to proceed to the fashions of other countryes, which haue bene (perhaps) practised alike by our ancestors, as hath bene said. Albeit then there be no French-man to be found at this day, if he be of the right stamp, and haue wher∣with to maintain himself, who hath so bad a tast, but can put a difference between tender and tough flesh: yet it were a wonder (I had almost said a miracle) to see a German who neuer trauailed abroad, that either obserued or cared to obserue this difference. For example, Ne gallina malum responset dura palato, as Horace speaketh: that is, lest the pullets flesh should be ouer tough, and vnpleasant to the tast, the Frenchman who hath no leasure to kill it a day or two before, that it may wax ten∣der of it selfe, will haue twenty deuises besides those mentioned in Horace. But when he shall leaue France his natiue countrey, and come into Germanie, he will not a little wonder to see a pullet (or some cocke of the game, for want of a better) serued to the table, which he had heard crowing in the court but halfe an houre before: which shalbe killed, plumed, and boiled, al in the sodainnesse of an instant. If our ancestors then (not to speake of Germans) haue done the like, may we not truly say that they were very rude and rusticall? Except some proctor shall haply plead for them, and tell vs that their stomackes were hotter then ours; so that they could disgest meate halfe raw, as well as we can flesh thorowly rosted, boiled, or baked. But Phisitians, which liued in those dayes, witnes the contrary. This there∣fore may serue for an instance of cookerie or dressing of meates. Let vs see another in the choise of them: choice I say, not of diuers sorts of meates, but of the same

kind. And here (doubtlesse) we shall find many masters, whom Galen might as wel laugh at, as he did at those suiters which courted Penelope (as Homer recordeth) for eating the great villanous swine, and leauing the yong pigs for their seruants. For considering the common saying in euery mans mouth, Yong flesh, and old fish: had not our auncestors small wit (in comparison) to eate the old dam, and to leaue the yong? to eate the old Partridge and to leaue the brood? to eate the old Hare, and not so much as once to touch the leuerets? Notwithstanding whatsoeuer can be spoken of our forefathers in this behalfe, may truly be affirmed of many countries at this day. For when I was at Venice I heard certaine noble men affirme, that they had learned of the French Kings Embassadour sent to the State, that young par∣tridges and leuerets were very good meate. And I remember, the Lord Conrade Resch told me, how that being at Basil, and demaunded by certaine Switzers what he would do with those leuerets which were brought him for a present; answered that he would make distilled water for the gout: which they (simple soules) did ve∣rily beleeue. I might here also speake of the 〈◊〉〈◊〉-like rusticks, who taking pigs eares and pigs skins, the rumpe, pinion▪ and neck of geese, (which Frenchmen call la petite oye, the goose giblet) as also calues and sheeps feet, with capons liuers, and such like garbage; of all these put together, make a hotchpotch or gallimalfray: wronging themselues as well in this as in other things. But if I should enter dis∣course hereof, I doubt I should not be beleeued: and I feare me this argument would be thought too homely and base, and so would derogate from the graue and serious matters contained in this booke.

4 To come therefore to the rusticitie which our ancestors bewrayed in their apparell, of which the pictures and statues yet extant, do giue sufficient testimo∣ny. Were it not a goodly sight to see a man bigguined with a hood vpon his head, like a great flasket, and a string vnder the chin: (a fashion not yet altogether worne out of vse:) or one with a high hat like a spire steeple, or like a Turkish * 1.1 turbant, or a crosse-bow, or a Switzers swearing swaggering cap; of that bignesse, that of so much cloth a man might make (as the fashion is now) three or foure? Were it not (I beseech you) a seemly sight to see the fine feature of my finicall fellow & gentle Iack braggard, when he hath put on his iacket reaching a full handfull below his knees, being of that size that a man might make a cassock and a paire of bases of it, or a great riding hood after the Spanish fashion? And were it not as goodly a sight to see, not onely all his neck, but often all the vpper parts of his shoulders and his brest also bare by reason of his fond fantasticall apparel indented like a half Moon? And as for women, had not Madame N. * 1.2 à la grand gorre (as Preachers in those dayes were wont to speake) a very good grace, when she had her gowne on, the very sleeues whereof were large enough to make a whole one? And was it not as goodly a sight to see their long tailes tucked vp, or trailing along, and sweeping the Church as they went? And if we speake of base botchery, were it a comely thing to see a great Lord or a King weare sleeues of two parishes, one halfe of woosted, the other of veluet? or a dublet of three parishes, the backe and forepart of halfe woosted, the vpper part of the sleeue of skin, and that toward the hand of veluet? True it is indeed, the forebody had a guard of veluet of some two fingers broade, which because it had neuer a whit on the back, was called Nichil au dos, a word which hath gone currant in many mens mouthes, who vnderstanding not the o∣riginall thereof, haue pronounced it Nichilodo, and applied it generally to all such things whose inside is not answerable to the outside, though especially to apparel: as at this day those peticoates or saueguards which haue only the forepart of stuffe

and the rest of linnen cloth, or such like, (as some gentlewomen vse to weare) may in this sence be called peticoates à la nichilodo. But, as it were to be wished that this were our gentlewomens worst huswifery; so we must needs grant, that (consi∣dering those times) there was no great hurt in such botchery. In speaking whereof I haue extended my discourse as farre as Ouid hath done his, in his verses formerly alleadged; where he doth not onely affirme that his age brought vp a more ciuill cariage and course of life, but euen court-like and magnificent in outward com∣portment, such as was not to be seene in former time; as indeed they go hand in hand, for the most part. Notwithstanding we are not ignorant how many mis∣chiefes and miseries attend vpon brauery, and what benefit hath accrewed to the weale publike by meanes of frugalitie. We reade in the French story how certaine of the Nobility of France sent two messengers to king Charles the sixt, to informe him of the change and alteration that had bin in the state since the dayes of his fa∣ther Charles the fift; among other things, how much the expences of his house ex∣ceeded his fathers expences: but the maine matter for which they complained, was, for that the Chācelor had spent twenty pounds in apparel in one yeare, which he had purloyned out of the kings treasure: which was iudged so hainous an of∣fence, that he fearing to vndergo the penalty, was glad to flie his country. I leaue it therefore to thy iudgement (gentle Reader) to consider how much the world is growne more miserable at this day, with all his pompe and prodigality, then it was in former time with all his frugalitie. For it is now come to this passe, that a paltry companion will not sticke to bestow ten pounds (or very neare) vpon one onely paire of bre••ches. Notwithstanding if all things be duly considered, it may wel be doubted whether that which is called botchery, may fitly be termed frugalitie or not, seeing that when they would not be at the cost to weare sleeues of veluet, they made farre more vaine and needlesse expences.

5 Concerning the attiring & trimming of the body, was it not a goodly sight to see a man with a close shauen beard, weare a great perriwig, bien esperlucat, that is, finely frezled? for that is the word which was then in vse, and is to be found e∣uen in Menot himselfe, in stead of the Latin word calamistratus. And so in the rime made by a bon compagnon, long before Menots time, we reade these verses,

Plus fringant & esperlucat, Et cent fois plus gay que Perot, O•• le valet d'vn Auocat.

That is,

More spruce and nimble, and more gay to seene, Then some Atturneys Clarke▪ or George a Greene.

And how should we excuse their rudenesse & simplicitie, in taking such paines to nourish that which putteth thē to greater? For who is so simple, that knoweth not, I say not the inconueniences, but the diseases which are caused by these long perri∣wigs? And yet some there are who take a pleasure and pride in them. But whether a beard become a man well or not, I appeale to those who are as much ashamed of themselues that they haue none, as a dog that hath lost his taile. For proofe wherof I report my selfe to these verses:

—Turpis sine frondibus arbor, Turpis equus nisi colla iuba flauentia velent: Pluma tegit volucres, ouibus sua lana decor•• est, Barba viros, hirt••{que} decent in corpore setae.

Notwithstanding all this, the poore Crucifixes then in vse, were constrained to ac∣commodate

themselues to the humors of those times. For falling into the hands of such as wore their beards shauen, there was no remedie, they must haue their beards shauen in like manner. And meeting with other good fellowes, who chose rather to weare a tuft or two in stee•• of a beard, they also must haue the like. Whereas being in those countreys where men vse to weare their beards tyed to their girdles, or reaching down to their knees, they must of necessity follow the fashion, though sore (God knowes) against their wils. For euery man would haue his Crucifix hold that fashion comly, which himselfe thought comly. This is the reason of the sundry sorts of Crucifixes that are to be seene at this day.

6 But let me not forget their manner of building whereby they depriued themselues almost of all those commodities, which we desire to haue (and that not without iust cause) in our buildings: and I had almost said, that they imprisoned themselues in their houses, in making them like prisons or dungeons. For whereas they cared not what their buildings were, so that they had thicke and strong wals, in the meane time th••y depriued themselues of the benefit of the light, for want of wit to make such windowes as are in vse at this day. Besides, they made them strait and narrow, whereas they might haue made them large and broad: and with ma∣ny holes like rats nests, in steed of a number of lightsome, large and pleasant lights: and to foresee that one house might not ouertop or drop vpō another, or that their neighbours might not ouerlooke them, was a thing nothing regarded. And tou∣ching the house which cannot so honestly be named as it is necessarily vsed, they haue not followed nature, in setting it in a fit place. For whereas nature hath re∣moued the basest and most vnseemly parts of the body furthest from the sight & smell; they contrarily set it to the open view, of purpose (as it were) to be seene.

7 And when we compare the workemanship vsed in old time, with that which is to be seene at this day, can we say that those artisans had any wit in their heads? For who so shall marke the fairest cupboord or bedstead made in those dayes, will (doubtlesse) iudge it to be rather Carpenters then Ioyne•• worke. And he that shall obserue their Iron works which are to be seene in cupboords, chests, or dores, may well doubt whether lockesmithes in former time vsed files or not, or rather what fashioned files they had. For we may well perceiue, they haue bene filed, yet nothing so smoothly and artificially as at this day. True it is indeed (to make amends for this defect) they were no niggards in bestowing cost vpon their worke; I meane in enriching it with compartements and such like ornaments, though neither barrell better Herring. This I must need•• say, that whereas men are now a dayes very sparing in bestowing cost vpon their buildings: they thē lauish∣ed it out (as it were) for the heauens, as if it had cost them nothing. Witnesse the harnesse then in vse, which was so ponderous, that a man hauing it vpon his back, was vnfit almost for any seruice: wheras it is now not halfe so weighty, and yet of pistol proof. The like may be said of murrions or head peeces; I mean such harnesse and headpeeces, as were made since the inuention of harquebuzes: for before the inuention of guns, men contented themselues, if they had them of the thicknesse of iron plates. And to speake somewhat of our common and ordinary weapons, would not one of their swords make three of ours? And are there not some swords to be seene, the very handle of one of which is heauier then any two vsed at this day, blade and all? which notwithstanding are both easier for cariage, and more commodious for defence.

8 And what shall we say of the phrase & manner of pronuntiation vsed by our ancestors? what eares had they (may we think) who could with patientce en∣dure

to heare Mon frere Piarre, my brother Pete••? Mō frere Robart, my brother Robart, La place Maubart, The place Maubart? And yet the French Poet Villon (one that writ as eloquently as any in those dayes) speaketh so. This may serue for an in∣stance of their Dorick dialect in taking delight to speake broadly, much like the Dorians among the Grecians, and the Sauoyards among the French. There are ano∣ther sort of simper-de-cockets, who counterfet puppets, in speaking so finely that they wil scarce open their mouthes; for making conscience to say François, Anglois, they say Francés, Anglés. Nay, there are some Courtiers which affect this nice pro∣nunciation, following certain fine mincing minions rather then reason. For certes this prety kind of puppet-parley was first taken vp by women, who feared to open their mouthes too wide in saying François, Anglois. How euer it be, I perswade my selfe, that neither they nor their followers are able to giue any better reason of this their pronunciation, then the gentlewoman of Sauoy could giue of her singing magnificet in stead of magnificat; who thought by this meanes to shun the fault of her country dialect in pronouncing A in stead of E. Neither can these fine finicall affecters alleadge the Italian tongue (which saith Francese & Francesi) to warrant their pronunciation: except they will do this wrong to their owne language, to say that it hath borrowed from the Italian. Italians indeed vse to say Inglese and In∣glesi; but herein doubtlesse they imitate vs, as not being able to iudge whether we speake well or ill, purely or corruptly.

9 Further, our auncestors haue bin as grosse and absurd in their words and phrases, as in any of the premises. And verily considering the notorious absurdities committed at this day by such as will needs be too fine in their affected phrases (or rather foolishly finicall) they seeme to me very pardonable. For we haue so purged and pruned the dead and rotten branches from the tree of the old French tongue, that we haue lopped off the good together with the bad. And then like bad hus∣bands haue gone a begging (or borrowing) that of our neighbours which we had growing in our owne orchyards (yea better then they had any) if we would haue taken the pains to haue sought it out: as I haue shewed more at large in my Con∣formitie of the French tongue with the Greeke.

10 And how cunning and expert they were in making fine and well framed orations in their grosse gibbridge, may appeare by the stories of those times. As for their rimes (I meane their rythmes) it is a world to see how rude and rusticall they were. For they neither cared for rime nor reason, neither regarded they how hoblingly they ranne, seeing they neuer respected the number of feet: which is the lesse to be wondered at, considering that Marot himselfe in his first Poems, playd the rimester at all aduenture, knowing neither section nor caesure, nor yet obser∣uing the difference betweene E masculine and E feminine. And verily most of the rimes clouted together (I cannot say composed) in ancient time, seem to haue bin made of purpose to moue laughter, those especially which are of this straine:

Priez pour Martin Preudom, Qui a fait faire ceste vie, Que Di••u•••••• face pardon, En rime & en tapisserie.

That is,

All good folke pray world without end, For Martin Preudom that made this legend: That he of God moght pardon'd be, Both in good rime and tapistrie▪

For the author of this goodly * 1.3 tetrastich, was so simple, that he thought his strai∣ning of himselfe to make rime doggrell, would be a sufficient excuse for him, though he spake ridiculously and without reason, viz. that God would pardon him in rime and tapistrie. Another old Elderton and right baladin-rimester made no bones to conclude an Epitaph in this sort:

Et mourut quatre cens & neuf, Tout plein de vertu comme vn oeuf.

That is,

And dy'de in the yeare foure hundreth and nine, Full (as an egge) of grace diuine.

The like good grace had most of their Latin rimes, especially their Epitaphs, as namely this which followeth:

Qui iacet intus, Fuit Carolus Quintus: Dic pro illo bis vel ter, Aue Maria, & Pater noster.

But it is now high time we should speake of their rudenesse in matters of greater consequence, namely in the maine point mentioned before, which is the saluation of mens soules.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Or tolibant••
• * 1.2

  With her great gaping gorget.
• * 1.3

  A quatrain or staffe of soure ver••es.