Poor Robin's jests: or, The compleat jester Being a collection of several jests not heretofore published. Now newly composed and written by that well-known gentleman, Poor Robin, knight of the burnt island, and well-willer to the mathematicks. Together with the true and lively effigies of the said author. Licensed Feb. 2. 1666. Roger L'Estrange.

The Vintners Boy.

TWo Gentlemen being drinking in a Tavern, chanced so ••o fall out, that from words they proceeded to blows; whereupon soon after ensued a suit of Law: the main witness to prove what was done, was the Vintners Boy, who being sub-poena'd and sworn at the day of tryal, began to tell his tale in this sort: My Lord (said he) I live at the sign of the St. Pauls head, my name is John, and by reason I draw to Gentlemen of the best Wine, they have given me the appella∣tion of honest, so that I am now commonly called honest John. My Lord seeing him so impertinent in his preface, called to him, and bid him speak to the matter, for that was quite besides it. I'll warrant you (said John) you shall find it to the purpose present∣ly, and thereupon proceeded: My Lord, these two Gentlemen came in there to drink, the one of them his name is Mr. B. the other Mr. F. it was about three of the Clock in the after∣noon, and we had newly risen from dinner: we had to dinner that day a piece of boild powder'd Beef, and butter'd Turneps, and part of a roasted Brest of Mutton cold; I could not eat

very much of it, by reason I had gotten a cold with sitting-up late two or three nights before. My Lord hearing him flie out thus again in his impertinences, bid him speak more home to the matter, or else hold his tongue for a Doe. My Lord (said John) I was sworn to speak the truth, and all the truth, and I am resolved to do it; and so went on: These two Gentlemen asked for a room, and I shewed them up into the green Chamber, it was two stories high, upon the left hand as soon as you are up two pair of Stairs. Honest John (said my Lord) if thou art so called, trouble us not with these impertinences, but come to the matter. I am about it, quoth John, and so proceeds: As soon as they were in the room, they said unto me, Now honest John bring us up a pint of the best Canary, which I did; it was of the furthermost Pipe but one in all our Sel∣lar, and we had no better wine in all the house; it cost my Master four and twenty pound the Pipe: as I was going up the stairs, my Master called to me, and asked me whither I was carry∣ing up that pint of wine, and I told him to the two Gentlemen. John (said my Lord) that is not the question I asked you, but what pas∣sed betwixt these two Gentlemen? I shall tell you, quoth John, presently: When I had carried them up the wine, and that they had

tasted of it, they told me that I was as good as my word, and that it was of the best Canary. But, said my Lord, what is this to the pur∣pose? Yes (said John) it is to the purpose, and if your Lordship pleases to come thither at any time, I shall draw ye of the same wine, and then you will say that honest Johns words were true indeed. My Lord seeing no good to be done with John, bid them set him aside, which John took in very great dudgeon, professing he had spoken nothing but the truth, neither durst he speak any thing but what was true, his Master bidding him be∣fore he came to have a special care of what he said. After some other Witnesses be∣ing examined, the Counsel on the Plantiffs side began to speak in the name of his Cly∣ent (as the usual custom is) saying, My Lord, we came into this Tavern with a peaceable in∣tention, onely to drink a pint of wine with that Gentleman, where we were by him abused, bea∣ten and misused, and put in danger of our life. John hearing him to say so, could for∣bear no longer, but stepping up, said, My Lord, that fellow with the coyfe there tells a most damnable lye, for he says he was beaten and misused in our house, when (I can justifie) that he never was in our house in all his life.