Silex scintillans, or, Sacred poems and priuate eiaculations by Henry Vaughan ...

Misery.

LOrd, bind me up, and let me lye A Pris'ner to my libertie, If such a state at all can be As an Impris'ment serving thee; The wind, though gather'd in thy fist, Yet doth it blow stil where it list, And yet shouldst thou let go thy hold Those gusts might quarrel and grow bold. As waters here, headlong and loose The lower grounds stil chase, and choose, Where spreading all the way they seek And search out ev'ry hole, and Creek; So my spilt thoughts winding from thee Take the down-rode to vanitie, Where they all stray and strive, which shal Find out the first and steepest fal; I cheer their flow, giving supply To what's already grown too high, And having thus perform'd that part Feed on those vomits of my heart. I break the fence my own hands made Then lay that trespasse in the shade, Some fig-leafs stil I do devise As if thou hadst nor ears, nor Eyes. Excesse of friends, of words, and wine Take up my day, while thou dost shine All unregarded, and thy book Hath not so much as one poor look. If thou steal in amidst the mirth And kindly tel me, I am Earth, I shut thee out, and let that slip, Such Musick spoils good fellowship.

Thus wretched I, and most unkind, Exclude my dear God from my mind, Exclude him thence, who of that Cel Would make a Court, should he there dwel. He goes, he yields; And troubled sore His holy spirit grieves therefore, The mighty God, th' eternal King Doth grieve for Dust, and Dust doth sing. But I go on, haste to Devest My self of reason, till opprest And buried in my surfeits I Prove my own shame and miserie. Next day I call and cry for thee Who shouldst not then come neer to me, But now it is thy servants pleasure Thou must (and dost) give him his measure. Thou dost, thou com'st, and in a showr Of healing sweets thy self dost powr Into my wounds, and now thy grace (I know it wel,) fils all the place; I sit with thee by this new light, And for that hour th'art my delight, No man can more the world despise Or thy great mercies better prize. I School my Eys, and strictly dwel Within the Circle of my Cel That Calm and silence are my Joys Which to thy peace are but meer noise. At length I feel my head to ake, My fingers Itch, and burn to take Some new Imployment, I begin To swel and fome and fret within. " The Age, the present times are not " To snudge in, and embrace a Cot, " Action and bloud now get the game, " Disdein treads on the peaceful name,

" who sits at home too bears a loade " Greater than those that gad abroad. Thus do I make thy gifts giv'n me The only quarrellers with thee, I'd loose those knots thy hands did tie, Then would go travel, fight or die. Thousands of wild and waste Infusions Like waves beat on my resolutions, As flames about their fuel run And work, and wind til all be done, So my fierce soul bustles about And never rests til all be out. Thus wilded by a peevish heart Which in thy musick bears no part I storm at thee, calling my peace A Lethargy, and meer disease, Nay, those bright beams shot from the eys To calm me in these mutinies I stile meer tempers, which take place At some set times, but are thy grace. Such is mans life, and such is mine The worst of men, and yet stil thine, Stil thine thou know'st, and if not so Then give me over to my foe. Yet since as easie 'tis for thee To make man good, as bid him be, And with one glaunce (could he that gain,) To look him out of all his pain, O send me from thy holy hil So much of strength, as may fulfil All thy delight (what e'r they be) And sacred Institutes in me; Open my rockie heart, and fil It with obedience to thy wil, Then seal it up, that as none see, So none may enter there but thee.

O hear my God! hear him, whose bloud Speaks more and better for my good! O let my Crie come to thy throne! My crie not pour'd with tears alone, (For tears alone are often foul) But with the bloud of all my soul, With spirit-sighs, and earnest grones, Faithful and most repenting mones, With these I crie, and crying pine Till thou both mend and make me thine.