A preter-plvperfect spick and span new nocturnall, or Mercuries weekly night-newes wherein the publique faith is published and the banquet of Oxford mice described.

Friday Night.

THis Night lamentable Newes was brought that Prince Ruperts Troopes did most unmercifully plunder a poor old woman within foure miles of South-East Wickham, the case was pitifull as it was related, that the woman kept a blinde, smoakie, drie Alehouse, neare the High-way, and that two Tinkers had been there and dranke all her Ale the day before the Armie marched that way, but the next day the Souldiers being on their march demanding drinke for their money, the old woman told them, that she had none left, but the Souldiers being offended, in a revenging man∣ner, entered her house, and plundered it of all the water which she had provided to brew withall, but took nothing at all from her besides, but the poor distressed Ale-wife cried out, and wrung her hands, saying, she was undone, she was undone, utterly undone, at which instant the Prince com∣ming by, and hearing the deplorable noyse of the woman, demanded what was the cause that made her crie out so ex∣tremely, she answered, that the Souldiers had been the break∣ing of her, by depriving her of the benefit of two Trades at once, videlicet, a Brewer and an Ale-wife, by drinking up all her water, whereupon his Highnesse threw her an Angell, and rode away laughing at her miserie: some say that Boy the Dog of War wagged his taile merrily in a jeering man∣ner at the womans calamitie; and this was the most extra∣ordinary outrage that the Prince or his Armie committed at that or any other time, for the Malignants say it is no robbe∣rie to plunder Rebels.

But now be amazed, astonished, and possest with wonder and admiration, and if ever we had cause to be beside our selves, out of our wits, or starke mad with joy, now is the time; there was this Night brought to light the most horri∣ble,

terrible, detestable, cruell Plot that ever was contriv'd since the dayes of Achitophel, the Sicilian Even-song comes short of it, the Massacre of Paris comes not neare it, the Spa∣nish intended Invasion was a toy to it, and the Powder Plot was but a blast or puffe in comparison of it; but I hold my Reader too long before I come to the unpurposed purpose, or marrow of the matter, which was as followeth:

This Night our watchfull Centinels, closely and careful∣ly examined all that came neare them, and if any were so sawcie as to say they were for God and the King, there was a a strict Order for them, for being dangerous persons to the State, about nine of the clocke, or two houres before or be∣hinde: a tall fellow disguised, with a water tankard on his shoulder, stopt with a clout, as the manner is, which he had filled at the Conduit, as he said, falsly, for it was proved af∣terwards to be wilde-fire-water, this audatious Herostratus knowing where a Souldier stood with his Musket, which Souldier had a pound of Powder in a paper loose in his poc∣ket, which the Villain having notice of, he suddenly stepped to him, and plucked out the stopple of his Tankard, whereat the water gushed forth with such violence that it fired the Powder, and blew the Souldier from the Standard in Cheape over the houses into Milkestreet, as farre as Saint What d'ye call hims Church, where the learned Master Case teaches, the wicked wretch was taken with his watery Engine, and upon examination he confest, that he and seventy nine more of his fellowes were hired by the Malignant partie to fire the Citie in eleven score and twelve places with this new-found stra∣tagem of Water-tankards, for the which Plot the Traitour was committed to Waltham house neare Bedlam, and it is thought that publique Thankesgiving must be given for this great Deliverance.

This Night also there came Newes of two strange dis∣asters which happened at Saint Albans, the the one was of

one Iohn Robotham Esquire, whom the Malignants do call Justice Ignorance, this worthy Squire to expresse his Loyaltie did oppresse all such as any way did love or honour the King, for which purpose his Clerke and himselfe did drive a great Trade in buying and selling of Mittimusses, War∣rans, Bindings over, Withdrawings of Recognisance, Com∣mitments, Releasings, Fees, Plunderings, and gentle Re∣wards, by which meanes he got a wicked deale of money; this mightie bottomelesse Justice Robotham did for the ser∣vice of His Majestie take away all the Armes and Amunition that any of His Majesties Friends had, and with the same Armour and Armes so plundered, he armed the Rebels, and yet all that was done by him was done for the Kings ser∣vice; amongst the rest of the Armes he had an head-piece of his own which he took great pride in, for it was light, bright, white, and (at the least Elder-gun proofe) it was his great Grandfathers Morion (a Murrein on't) at the siege of Southampton in Cumberland, indeed there was a privie search made for it, (for the very house of office was examined) but no finding could be found, and because there were so many Wenches with childe in the Town, [Mistris Justice] Master Justice Ignorant's Wife protested by her Halliday and Wo∣manhood that she had rather have lost his Cod-piece than his Head-piece.

Also there was one Thomas Sadler who had formerly been a fractur'd Linnen-Draper, retired to a Countrey conversa∣tion, his Lawn transform'd into Land, his Holand metamor∣phosed into Zeal-And himselfe quite devoured by invisible uncharitable Devotion; to expresse the ardencie, fervencie, vehemencie, and furiositie of his love to the observation of Church Orders, upon a Fast-day he went into his Barne where he congregated his own people and some others, there being a great Bucking-tub brought into the Barne, the said Tub having two holes which a cole-staffe was to be put

through upon occasion, through which holes a rope was fastened, and Master Sadler being in the Tub, the rope was cast over a beame, wherewith he commanded himselfe to be hoised up, that he might make his preachment, where after nine Psalmes, and a stretch'd out five quarters prayer, he be∣gan and proceeded with singular and single Doctrine to per∣swade his Audience to be loyall in Rebellion, and obedient in opposing all Law and Order, which Godlesse instructi∣ons the Assemblie did not onely give large eares unto, but also edified beyond measure thereby; at last he being sud∣denly inspired and transported with a fierie Enthumiasmicall rapture, he began to denounce destruction and confusion against the Cavaliers, and with his violent expressions, and agilitie of action, in stamping the word Damnation hard un∣der his foot, he thumped out the bottome of his hanging Pulpit, (whereby his foundation was as bottomlesse as Hell, of his Doctrine) and withall fell down in the threshing floor, where he lay a good while in a tranuce; some say he was bruised, but the wisest of his Audience do believe that he was in private contemplation with the Spirit. And thus up∣on the Fast-day was this admirable piece of faste and loose.

It was much disputed in the House what the true meaning of the word Malignant is (that is so often repeated in Print, and Pulpit) one said, it was derived from two Latine words, Malè lignum, an evill wood, a crooked, knottie, sappie, un∣serviceable timber, good onely to make Gallouses.