The worthy communicant, or, A discourse of the nature, effects, and blessings consequent to the worthy receiving of the Lords Supper and of all the duties required in order to a worthy preparation : together with the cases of conscience occurring in the duty of him that ministers, and of him that communicates : to which are added, devotions fitted to every part of the ministration / by Jeremy Taylor ...

SECT. III. Of our Examination concerning Rema∣nent Affections to Sin.

HE that desires communicate worthily, must examine himself whether there be not in him a∣ny aff••ction to sin remaining. This examination is not any part of repentance, but a trial of it; for of preparatory repentance I shall give larger ac∣counts in its own place: but now we are to try whether that duty be done, that if it be we may come; if not, we may be remanded, and go away till we have performed it: For he that comes must

have repented first; but now he is to be examined whether he have or no done that work so material∣ly, that it is also prosperously; that is, whether he have done it not only solemnly and ritually, but effectively; whether he have so washed, that he is indeed clean from any soul and polluting principle.

When the Heathens offered a Sacrifice to their false gods, they would make a severe search to see if there were any crookednesse or spot, any un∣cleannesse or deformity in their Sacrifice. The Priest was wont to handle the liver,* 1.1 and search the throbbing he••rt; he inquires if the blood springs right, and if the lungs be sound; he thrusts his hand into the region of the lower belly, and looks i•• ••here be an ulcer, or a schirrus, a stone, or a bed of gravel: Now the observation which Tertullian makes upon these Sacrifical Rites is pertinent to this rule.* 1.2 When your impure Pri••sts look after a pure Sacrifice, why do they not rather inquire into their own heart, than into the lambs appurtenance? why do they not ask after the lust of the Sacrifice••s, more than the little spot up∣on the bulls liver? The rites of Sacrifices were but the monitions of duty;* 1.3 and the Priests inquiry into the puri••y of the beast was but a precept represented in ce∣remony and hieroglyphick, com∣manding us to take care that the man be not lesse pure and perfect than the beast. For if an unclean man brings a clean Sacrifice, the sacrifice shall not cleanse the man, but the man will pollute the Sacrifice; let them bring to God a soul

pure and spotless,* 1.4 lest when God espying a soul humbly lying before the Altar, and finding it to be polluted with a remaining filthinesse, or the re∣proaches of a sin, he turns away his head and hates the Sacrifice. And God who taught the Sons of Israel in figures and shadows, and required of the Levitical Priests to come to God clean and whole, straight, and with perfect bodies, meant to tell us, that this bodily precept in a carnal Law, does in a spiritual Religion signifie a spiritual purity. For God is never called a lover of bodies, but the great lover of souls; and he that comes to redeem our souls from sin and death, from shame and reproach, would have our souls brought to him as he loves them; An unclean soul is a deformity in the eyes of God; it is indeed spiritually discerned, but God hath no other eyes but what are spirits and flames of fire.

Here therefore it concerns us to examine our selves strictly and severely, always remembring, that to examine our selves (as it is here intended) is not a duty compleated by examining;* 1.5 for this car∣ries us on to the Sacrament, or returns us to the mortifications of repentance.

But sometimes our sins are so notorious, that they go before unto judgment and condemnation, and they need no examining: and whatsoever is not done against our wills, cannot be besides our knowledg, and so cannot need examination, but

remembring only; and therefore I do not call up∣on the drunkard to examine himself concerning temperance, or the wanton concerning his unclean∣ness, or the oppressor concerning his cruel cove∣tousness, or the customary swearer concerning his profaneness. No man needs much inquiry to know whether a man be alive or dead when he hath lost a vital part.

But this caution is given to the returning sinner, to the repenting man, to him that weeps for his sins, and leaves what was the shame of his face and the reproach of his heart. For we are quickly apt to think we are washed enough; and having re∣membred our shameful falls, we groan in method, and weep at certain times; we bid our selves be sorrowful, and tune our heart-strings to the accent and key of the present solemnity; and as sorrow enters in dresse and imagery when we bid her, so she goes away when the scene is done. Here, here it is that we are to examine whether shows do make a real change; whether shadows can be sub∣stances, and whether to begin a good work splen∣didly can effect all the purposes of its designation. Have you wept for your sin so that you were in∣deed sorrowful and afflicted in your spirit? Are you so sorrowful that you hate it? Do you so hate it that you have left it? And have you so left it that you have left it all, and will you do so for ever? These are particulars worth the inquiring after. How then shall we know?

Signs by which we may examine and tell whether our affections to sin remain.

1. Because in examining our selves concerning

this, we can never be sure but by the event of things, and the heart being deceitful above all things, we secretly love what we professe to hate, we deny our lovers, and desire they should still press us, we command away the sin from our presence, for which we dy if it stayes away; therefore while we are in this prepartaory duty of examination, the best sign whereby we can reasonably suppose all affection to sin to be gone away, is if we really be∣lieve that we shall never any more commit that sin to which we are most tempted, and most inclined, and by which we most frequently fall. Here is a copious matter for examination.

2. When thou doest examine thy self, thou canst not but remember how often thou hast sinned by wantonnesse, perhaps, or by intemperance; but now thou sayest thou wilt do so no more. If thou hadst never said so and failed, it might have been likely enough; but the Sun does not rise and set so often as thou hast sinned and broken all thy holy vows: and thy resolution to put away thy sin is but like Amnon thrusting out his sister after he had en∣joyed her and was weary: Sin looks ugly after it hath been handled; and thou having lost thy in∣nocence and thy peace for nothing but the ex∣change of shame and indignation, thou art vexed, peevish, and unsatisfied, and then thou resolvest thou wilt sin no more. But thou wilt find this to be no great matter, but a great deception; for thou only desirest it not, because for the present the ap∣petite is gone; thou hast no fondness for it, because the pleasure is gone; and like him who having scratched the skin till the blood comes, to satisfie a disease of pleasure and uncleannesse, feeling the smart thou resolvest to scratch no more.

3. But consider I pray and examine better; is the disease cured because the skin is broken? will the appetite return no more? and canst not thou again be tempted? is it not likely that the sin will look prettily, and talk flattering words, and en∣tice thee with softnesses and easie fallacies? and wilt not thou then lay thy foolish head upon the lap of the Philistian damsel, and sleep till thy locks be cut, and all thy strength is gone? wilt not thou forget thy shame and thy repentance, thy sick stomach and thy aking-head, thy troubled con∣science and thy holy vows, when thy friend calls thee to go and sin with him, to walk aside with him into the regions of foolish mirth and an unpercei∣ved death? Place thy self by consideration and imaginative representment in the circumstances of thy former temptation; and consider when thou canst be made to desire, and art invited to desire, and naturally doest desire, can thy resolution hold out against such a battery:

4. In order to this; examine whether there be in thee any good principle stronger than all the Ar∣guments and flatteries of thy sin? but above all things, examine whether there be not in thee this principle, that if thou dost sin again in great temp∣tation, that thou wilt and mayest repent again? Take heed of that: for it is certain, no man lives in the regions of temptation, to whom sin can seem plea∣sant, but he will fall when the temptation comes strongly, if he have this principle within him, that though he do commit that sin, he may and will re∣pent: for then sin hath got a Paranymph and a sol∣licitor, a warrant and an advocate; if you think that you can so order it, that you shall be as sure of

heaven, though you do this sin as though you do it not, you can have no security; your resolutions are but glass; they may look like diamonds to an undescerning eye, but they will last no longer then till the next rude temptation falls upon them.

5. Examine yet further: is your case so, that you have no reserves of cases in which your sin shall prevail? you resolve to leave the partner of your follies, and you go from her lest you be tempt∣ed? It is well; it is very well: but is not your heart false as water; and if you should see her again, do you not perceive that your resolution hath brought you to a little shame, because it will upbraid thy falshood and inconstancy? you resolve against all intemperate anger, and you deny the importunity of many trifling occurrencies: but consider; if you be provoked, and if you be despised, can your flesh and blood endure it then? It may be Calpurnius or Tocca shall not perswade thee to go to the baths of Lucrinus; but if Mecoenas calls thee, or the Con∣sul desires thy company, thou canst resist no longer. Thou didst play the fool with poor Calenia, and thou art troubled at thy folly; and art ashamed when thou doest remember how often thou wentest into the Summoenium and peeped into the titles of those unhappy women whose bodies were the price of a Roman penny: but art thou so severe and chast that thou wilt die rather than serve the im∣perious lust of Julia? or wilt thou never be scorch∣ed with the flames of Corinna's beauty? It is no∣thing to despise a cheap sin and a common tempta∣tion; but art thou strong enough to overcome the strongest argument that thy sin hath? Examine thy self here wisely and severely. It is not thy part saying, I will sin no more. He that hath new

dined can easily resolve to fast at night: but when thou art hungry, and invited, and there is rare meat on the table, and thy company stayes for thee and importunes thee, canst thou then go on with thy fasting day? if thou canst, it is as it should be: but let not thy resolution be judged by short say∣ings: but first by great considerations, and then by proportionable events. If neither the biggest temp∣tation, nor thy trifling hopes, nor thy foolish prin∣ciples, nor weak propositions can betray thee, then thou mayest with reason say that you have no af∣fection so strong as the love of God, no passion so great as thy repentance, no pleasure equal to that of an holy conscience, and then thou mayest rea∣sonably believe that there is in thee no affection to sin remaining. But something more is to be added.

6. In the examination of this particular; take no accounts of your self by the present circumstan∣ces, and by your thoughts and resolutions in the dayes of Religion and solemnity: but examine how it is with you in the dayes of ordinary conversati∣on, and in the circumstances of secular imploy∣ments. For it is with us in our preparations to the holy Communion, as it is with women that sit to have their pictures drawn: they make themselves brave and adorned and put on circumstances of beauty to represent themselves to their friends and to their posterity with all the advantages of art and dressing. But he that loves his friends picture be∣cause it is like her, and desires to see in image what he had in dayly conversation, would willingly see her in picture as hee sees her every day; and that is most like her, not which resembles her in extraor∣dinary, and by the sophistrie of dressing, but as she looked when she went about in the government of

her family. So must we look upon our selves in the dresses of every day in the week; and not take accounts of our selves as we trick up our souls a∣gainst a communion day. For he that puts on fine cloaths for one day or two, must not suppose him∣self to be that Prince which he only personates. We dresse our selves upon a day of Religion; and then we cannot endure to think of sin; and if we do we sigh, and when we sigh, we pray, and sup∣pose that if we might die upon that day, it would be a good dayes work; for we could not die in a better time. But let us not deceive our selves. That is our picture that is like us every day in the week: and if you are as just in your buying and selling, as you are when you are saying your pray∣ers; if you are as chast in your conversation, as you are in your religious retirement; if your temperance be the same every day, as it is in your thoughts upon a fasting day; if you wear the same habits of virtue every day in the week, as you put on upon a Communion day, you have more reason to think your selves prepared, than by all the ex∣tempore piety and solemn Religion that rises at the sound of a Bell, and keeps her time by the Calendar of the Church, more than by the laws of God.

This is not so to be understood as if it were not fit that against a solemn time and against a com∣munion day, our souls should be more adorned, and our lamps better dressed, and our lights snuffed, and our Religion more active, and the habits of grace should exercise more acts: But this is meant only; that though the acts of virtue are not so frequent on ordinary dayes, yet there must be no act of vice upon them at all; and the habits of grace must be the same, and the inclinations

regular, and the disposition ready, and the desires prest: and you shall better know the estate of your soul by examining how you con∣verse with your Merchant, than by considering how cautiously you converse with your Priest. He that talks to a Prince will talk as wisely as he can, but if you will know what the man is, inquire after him in his house, and how he is with all his relations. For no man stands upon his Guard alwayes, as he does sometimes. If therefore, upon examining you would understand what you are, examine your self; not by your cloaths, but by your body; not by the extraordinaries of a solemn religion, but by the ordinaries of a daily conversation.

These are the best Signs I can tell of; but they are to be made use of, with the following cautions.

1. Although in trying whether your resolutions are likely to hold, and your affections to sin are gone, you must not rely upon words, but place your self in the scene and circumstances of your temptation, and try whether you be likely to hold out when sin comes with all the offers of advantage; yet be carefull that this examination of your own strength against temptation become not a tempta∣tion to you, and this is especially to be attended to in the matter of lust and fear.

For the very imaginations of a lustfull object are of themselves a direct temptation; and he that dresses his fancie with remembrances of this vanitie, opens a door to let the sin in. Murenia's little boy being afraid of the wolf at the door, opened the door to

see if he were gone, and let the beast in: and since the fancy is the proper scene of lust, he that brings the temptation there, brings it where it can best pre∣vail. Therefore in our examination concerning this evil, and whether we be likely to stand in this war, we are to examine our selves only, whether we are perfectly resolved to fly and not to fight, that is, whether we will secure our selves by the proper arts of the spirit of prudence: for if any thing can make us come neer this Devil, we are lost without remedy.

The temptations in the matter of fear are some∣thing like it, if you will examine whether you love God so well that you would dye for him, inquire as well and wisely as you can, but be not too particu∣lar. Satisfie your self with a general answer, and rest in this, if you finde that the apprehension of death is not so great as the apprehension of sin; if you pray against fear, and heap up arguments to confirm your courage and your hope, if you finde that you despise those instances of persecution that you meet with; for the rest, believe in God, who it may be will not give strengths before you need them; and therefore be satisfied with thus much, that your present strength is sufficient for any pre∣sent trial; and when a greater comes, God hath promised to give you more strength when you shall have need of more. But examine your self by what is likely to fall upon you actually. It may be you have cause to fear that you shall be made poor for a good conscience, or imprisoned for your du∣ty, or banished for religion, consider if you love God so well that you are likely to suffer that, which is likely to happen to you; but do not dress your examination with rare contingencies and un∣likely

accidents, and impossible cases. Do not ask your self whether you would endure the rack for God, or the application of burning Basons to your eyes, or the torment of a slow fire, or whether you had rather go to hell than commit a sin; this is too phantastick a trial; and when God (it may be) knowing your weakness, will never put you to it really, do not you tempt your self by fancy, and an afflictive representment.

Domitian was a cruel man, false and bloody; and to be neer him was a perpetual danger: enough to try the constancy of the bravest Roman. But once that he might be wanton in his cruelty; he invited the chiefest of the Patricii to Supper; who coming in obedience and fear enough, entred into a Court all hanged with blacks, and from thence were con∣ducted into dining rooms by the Pollinctors, who used to dress the bodies unto Funerals: the lights of heaven (we may suppose) were quite shut out by the approaching night and arts of obscurity; when they were in those charnel houses (for so they seemed) every one was placed in order, a black Pillar or Coffin set by him, and in it a dim taper besmeared with brimstone that it might burn faint, and blew, and solemn; where when they had stood a while like designed sacrifices, or as if the Prince were sending them on solemn Embassie to his bro∣ther the Prince of Darkness; on a sudden entred so many naked Black-Moors, or Children besmear'd with the horrid juice of the sepia, who having dan∣ced a little in phantastick and Devils postures, re∣tired a while, and then returned serving up a ban∣quet as at solemn funerals; and Wine brought to them in Urnes instead of Goblets; with deepest silence, now and then interrupted with fearful

groans and shriekings. Here the Senators, who possibly could have strugled with the abstracted thoughts of death, seeing it dressed in all the fear∣ful imagerie and Ceremonies of the grave; had no powers of Philosophy or Roman courage; but falling into a lipothymie or deep swooning, made up this pageantry of death with a representing of it unto the life. This scene of sorrows was over-acted, and it was a witty cruelty to kill a wise man, by making him too imaginative and phantastical. It is not good to break a staffe by too much trying the strength of it, or to undo a mans soul by a useless and so phantastick a temptation. For he that tries himself further than he hath need of, is like Palae∣mons shepherd, who fearing the foot-bridge was not strong enough to try it, loaded it so long, till by his unequal trial he broke that which would have born a bigger burden than he had to carry o∣ver it. Some things will better suffer a long usage, than an unequal trial.

2. When any man hath by the former measures examined himself, how his affections do stand to sin and folly, by whatsoever signs he is usually made confident; let him be sure to make abatements of his confidence, if he have found that he hath failed already in despight of all his Arts, and all his pur∣poses. If we have often fallen back from our reso∣lutions, there is then no sign left for us but the thing signified: nothing can tell us how our affections are, but by observing what they do. For he that hath broken his word with me, when it was in his power to keep it; hath destroyed my confidence in him: but if he hath deceived me twice or thrice in the same thing; for shame and prudence sake I will venture no more, if I can be disobliged. If we

therefore have fail'd of our promises to God so many times, that we can speak nothing reasonably of our proceedings, nor imagine what thoughts God hath concerning us, but the hardest and the worst; though we have great reason to rejoyce in Gods long suffering and infinite patience, yet by any signs which can be given we have no reason to trust our selves.

••or if we shall now examine; we can tell no more than we could do before, we were alwayes deceived in our conjectures and pretences; and it is more likely now; because sin hath so long pre∣vailed; and by our frequent relapses we must at least learn this truth, that our hearts are false, and our promises are not to be trusted. In this case, no testimony is credible but an eye witnesse. There∣fore let us leave all artificial examinations and be∣take our selves to the solid and material practices of a religious life. We must do something really, before we can by inquiring tell how it is with us. When we have resolved, and in some measure per∣formed our resolution; when we have stood the shock of a temptation and found our heart firm as in a day of religion; when we perceive sin to be wea∣ker, and the kingdom of grace to grow in power; when we feel that all our holy vows are more than words, and that we are not the same easie fools, al∣wayes giving God good words but never perfor∣ming them; but that now we have set our foot up∣on the enemy, and are not infallibly carried away when our temptation comes; then we may in∣quire further, and look after the former signes and indications of spiritual life, and the just measures of preparation. Till then let us not trouble our selves with the particulars of spiritual arts and the artificial

methods of religion; for things are not so well with us as we suppose.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Et fibras pecorum & spiran∣tia consu∣lit exta. Virg.
• * 1.2

  Miror com hostiae proban∣tur penes vos à vitiosissimis Sacerdotibus, cur praecor∣dia potiùs victimarum, quàm ipsorum sacrificanti∣um examinantur: Apolog. c. 30.
• * 1.3

  Submonentur in his Sym∣bolis ut quoties accedunt ad altaria, vel nuncupaturi vota, vel reddituri nullum vitium, nullumque mor∣bum asserant in animâ. Ph••lo.
• * 1.4

  Conentur omnino nitidam & immacu∣latam [a∣nimam] in conspe∣ctu Dei produce∣re ne vi∣sam aver∣setur. Philo.

  Si morta∣le corpus, multo magis im∣mortalem animam. Idem.
• * 1.5

  Salvato∣rem no∣strum (fratres charissi∣mi) susce∣pturi, totis viribus debemus nos cum ipsius adjutorio praeparare, & omnes latebras animae nostrae diligenter aspicere, ne fortè sit in no∣bis aliquod peccatum absconditum, quod & conscientiam nostram confundat & mordeat, & oculos Divinae Majestatis offendat. S. Am∣bros. de Sacram.