Holy living in which are described the means and instruments of obtaining every virute, and the remedies against every vice, and considerations serving to the resisting all temptations : together with prayers containing the whole duty of a Christian, and the parts of devotion occasians [sic], and furnished for all necessities / by Jer. Taylor.

Rules for married persons, or matrimonial chastity.

Concerning married persons;* 1.1 besides the keeping of their mutual faith and contract with each other, these particulars are useful to be observed.

1. Although their mutual endearments are safe within the protection of marriage, yet they that have Wives or Husbands must be as though they had them not; that is, they must have an affection greater to each other then they have to any person in the world, but not greater then they have to God: but that they be ready to part with all interest in each o∣thers person rather then sin against God.

2. In their permissions and license they must be sure to observe the order of Na∣ture, and the ends of God.* 1.2 He is an ill Husband that uses his Wife as a man treats •• Harlot, having no other end but pleasure.

Concerning which, our best rule is, that al∣though in this, as in eating and drinking, there is an appetite to be satisfied, which cannot be done without pleasing that desire, yet since that desire and satisfaction was in∣tended by Nature for other ends, they should never be separate from those ends, but al∣waies be joyned with all or one of these ends; with a desire of children, or to avoid fornication, or to lighten and ease the cares and sadnesses of houshold affairs, or to en∣dear each other: but never with a purpose either in act or desire to separate the sensua∣lity from these ends which hallow it. Onan did separate his act from its proper end, and so ordered his embraces that his Wife should not conceive, and God punished him.

* 1.33. Married persons must keep such mo∣desty and decency of treating each other, that they never force themselves into high and violent lusts, with arts and misbecoming devices: alwaies remembring that those mixtures are most innocent which are most simple, and most natural, most orderly and most safe.

4. It is a duty of matrimonial chastity to be restrained and temperate in the use of their lawful pleasures: concerning which although no universal Rule can antecedently be given to all persons, any more then to all bodies one proportion of meat and drink: yet married persons are to estimate the de∣gree of their license according to the follow∣ing proportions. * 1. That it be moderate so as to consist with health. * 2. That it be so ordered as not to be too expensive of

time, that precious opportunity of working out our salvation. * 3. That when duty is demanded it be alwaies payed (so farre as is in our powers and election) according to the foregoing measures. * That it be with a temperate affection, without violent trans∣porting desires, or too sensual applications. Concerning which a man is to make judg∣ment by proportion to other actions, and the severities of his religion, and the senten∣ces of sober and wise persons, alwaies re∣membring that marriage is a provision for supply of the natural necessities of the body; not for the artificial and procured appetites of the minde. And it is a sad truth, that ma∣ny married persons thinking that the flood∣gates of liberty are set wide open without measures or restraints (so they sail in that channel) have felt the final rewards of in∣temperance and lust, by their unlawful using of lawful permissions. Only let each of them be temperate, and both of them be modest. Socrates was wont to say, that those women to whom Nature had not been indulgent in good features and colours, should make it up themselves with excellent manners; and those who were beautiful and comely, should be careful that so fair a body be not pollu∣ted with unhandsome usages.* 1.4 To which Plu∣tarch adds; that a Wife if she be unhand∣some, should consider, how extremely ugly she should be, if she wanted modesty: but if she be handsome, let her think how gra∣cious that beauty would be if she superadds chastity.

5. Married persons by consent are to ab∣stain

from their mutual entertainments at solemn times of devotion: not as a duty of it self necessary, but as being the most pro∣per act of purity which in their condition they can present to God: and being a good advantage for attending their preparation to the solemn duty and their demeanour in it. It is Saint Pauls counsel,* 1.5 that by consent for a time they should abstain, that they may give themselves to fasting and prayer. And though when Christians did receive the holy Com∣munion every day, it is certain they did not abstain,* 1.6 but had children: yet when the Communion was more seldom, they did with religion abstain from the marriage-bed du∣ring the time of their solemn preparatory de∣votions, as anciently they did, from eating and drinking till the solemnity of the day was past.

6. It were well if married persons would in their penitential prayers, and in their ge∣neral confessions suspect themselves, and ac∣cordingly ask a general pardon for all their undecencies and more passionate applicati∣ons of themselves in the offices of marriage: that what is lawful and honorable in its kinde may not be sullied with imperfect circum∣stances; or if it be, it may be made clean a∣gain by the interruption and recallings of such a repentance of which such uncertain parts of action are capable.

But because of all the dangers of a Christi∣an, none more pressing & troublesome then the temptations to lust, no enemy m••re dan∣gerous then that of the flesh, no accounts greater then what we have to reckon for at the Audit of Concupiscence, therefore it con∣cerns all that would be safe from this death to arm themselves by the following Rules to prevent, or to cure all the wounds of our flesh made by the poysoned arrows of Lust.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Nisi funda∣menta stirpis jucta sint probé, miseros ne∣cesse est esse deinceps pe∣steros. Eurip.
• * 1.2

  Non debentus eodem amico uti & 〈◊〉〈◊〉 a∣to••e: nec eà∣dem ut uxor & s••o••t••

  Plut conjug. praecept.
• * 1.3

  Non rectè est ab Herodoto dictum simul cum tunica multerem ve∣recundiam exuere. Quae n•• casta est, positā veste, verecundiam ejus loco in∣duit, ma••i∣••rtaue vere∣cioidiâ con∣juge tasserâ maximi in∣vicen••. moris uttentur.

  Plut: con∣jug. prae∣cept.
• * 1.4

  De conjug. precept.
• * 1.5

  1 Cor 7 5.
• * 1.6

  Hoc etiam ••x more Christi∣anorum. Te••tu••. S••ad••ns foe∣mi•••• Ch••i∣sti••nis ne Pa∣••anis n••••ant. ais Q••is de∣n••qu•• s••l••n¦ni••us Pas••hae ab nectantem secu••us susten••bit? Tertul. ad uxor. 2. l. Et ex more etiam Gentilium. Plu sym••os. 3 q. 6. Nobis autem si leges civitatis rectè colimus caven∣dum est, ne ad ••empla & sacrificia accedamus, paulo antè re vener••â usi. Itaque expedit nocte & semno interjecto, just••que inte vallo ad••ibito, ••undos rursum quasi de int••••ro, & ad novum diem nova cogitantes (ut ait Demecritus) surgere.