Scarron's novels ... rendred into English, with some additions, by John Davies ...
Scarron, Monsieur, 1610-1660., Davies, John, 1625-1693.
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SCARRON's NOVELS.

The Chastisement of Avarice.

The Seventh Novel.

NOT many years since, a young Lad, poor, to the very low∣est degree of poverty, yet of an ambition exceeding it, and infinitely more de∣sirous to be thought a Gen∣tleman, than to be account∣ed, either a rational Crea∣ture or a Christian, came along with his Father out Page  305 of the Mountains of Navarr, with a resolution (whether guided by instinct, or encourag'd by the directions of some others of his friends, I could never learn) to plant themselves at Madrid. They had heard much of the gallantry of that place, and were put in hopes, that they should meet with those thing there, which they could not find in their own Country, I mean the favours and indulgences of Fortune, which are to be had at the Court, rather than any where else, yet are seldom obtain'd, without much courtship, and excessive importunities. It was the young Lad's good luck, though I know not by what charms procur'd, to be entertain'd a Page by some Grandee, or rather Prince, (for they have the vanity to think them∣selves such) a condition, not thought very honou∣rable in Spain, that is, much at the same rate as that of Lacqueys in France or England. He was put into the Livery about twelve years of age, and, no doubt, he look'd very prettily in it, such an al∣teration is the first smile of good fortune able to make, in one who, till then, had liv'd no otherwise than as an unciviliz'd Highlander. 'Tis possible, some other person would have grown insolent upon so strange a Metamorphosis; but he was of a quite different temper, and withal the most frugal Page that ever was, nay, what is the greatest commenda∣tion of a person of his quality, the least addicted to an Art call'd the Lightness of the Fingers, as haply having not yet been long enough in the City, to understand the advantages of his profession.

Having sold his former rags to the Brokers, he began to think himself a rich man; yet did not his wealth consist so much in the gaudiness of his ac∣coutrements, Page  306 as in the greatness of his hopes, and a wretched Bed, dispos'd into a small partition of a Garret, which he had taken, not far from his Ma∣ster's house, and there he retir'd in the night, with his Father, rich in years, since he liv'd, and, upon that account, raising a compassion in all he met, some were so charitable as to relieve him. Those charities were his daily revenue, but so small, that, many times, he went to his Cell, not onely supper∣less, but hungry. At last the old Man dyes, and his Son was glad to see him so well provided for, out of this reflection, that being disburthen'd of that charge, he was in a fair way to become a rich man. From the hour of his Father's interrment, he im∣pos'd upon himself so great a frugality, and enter'd into so strict and austere a kind of Life, that he spent in a manner nothing, of that little, which was allow'd him every day for his subsistance. 'Tis true, it was not without the grumbling and barking of his Stomach, and to the cost of all those, with whom he could make any acquaintance.

Don Marcos (so was called this remarkable example of penury) was a person of a stature somewhat below the middle size, and, through pure want of seasonable nourishment, he, in a short time, became the slenderest, and driest per∣son in the world. When he waited on his Master at table (which, it seems, was not so often as he could have wish'd) he never chang'd his plate, but that, if there were any thing left on it, he had the admirable sleight of conveying somewhat into his pocket, whether it were dry or liquid he matter'd not much. But finding by experience, that, when he secur'd any thing of the latter kind, it could not Page  307 be done without offence, he found out an expe∣dient to prevent that inconvenience, for having converted into mony the wax of a great number of Torches ends, which he had very carefully kept to∣gether, he bought him a pair of pockets of your Latten-ware, wherewith he afterwards did miracles, in order to the advancement of his fortune.

Most covetous persons are commonly vigilant and careful, and these two qualities, heightned by the insatiable passion, which Dom Marcos had, to become a rich Man, rais'd in his Master such an extraordinary kindness towards him, that he would not, by any means in the world, have parted with so excellent a Page. He continu'd him in his Li∣very, from the twelfth, as I told you, to the thir∣tieth year of his Age, so that, upon the account of his Seniority, he might have taken place of all the Pages in Spain. But there happen'd an inconve∣nience, which prevail'd with his Master to change that resolution, and that was, that this over-grown Page was oblig'd to shave himself every day; whereupon being transform'd from a Page into a Gentleman, he was made by his Master what Hea∣ven would never have made him.

The advantage of this transformation was, that his allowance was advanc'd, by a daily addition of some few Ryals; but he, instead of adding any thing to his expence, rein'd his Purse-strings the more, not regarding how much his new employ∣ment oblig'd him to betray a proportionable libe∣rality. He had heard indeed, that some of his Profession, instead of a Boy, to wait them, in the morning, made use of such as sold Aquavitae, to make clean their rooms, into which they got them, Page  308 pretending that they would have drunk of their Water, and sometimes in the Winter-time, they call'd up those that sold Wafers and Jumbals (a sort of people that walk as late as the Bak'd-pipin wenches do about London) to get off their Cloaths; but in regard this could not be done without a kind of violence, and that our Dom Marcos was of an humour, not to be unjust to any but himself, he conceiv'd it his best course not to be troubled with any Servant. Never was there a Candle's end burnt in his Chamber, but he came to it by slight of hand, and to make it last as long as might be, he began to undress himself in the street, from the very place where he had lighted it, so that by that time he was come to his Chamber, he was in a manner ready to get into his Bed. But considering with himself, that it was possible a Man might go to his rest with less charge, his inventive imagina∣tion found out another expedient, which was, to make a little hole in the partition, which separated his room from his next Neighbours, so as that, as soon as he had lighted his Candle, Dom Marcos opened the hole, and so had light enough to do any thing he had to do at that time of the Night.

That one side of his Body should not laugh at the other, nor either of them at the middle of his haunches, he wore his Sword one day on the right side, the next day, on the left, the third hanging perpendicularly down his back, and all this, that his Cloaths might be equally worn out of all sides, and that the Dmmage should be the less, being equally divided. Upon the very break of Day, he stood at his door, with a little Earthen pitcher in his hand, begging a little water of all the Water-bearers Page  309 that pass'd by, and so he suppli'd himself with water for many days together. He went many times into a little Buttery, just at the time that the other Servants belonging to his Master, who had their Diet in the House, were at Meals, and there he would take occasion to commend what they had before them, that some body might invite him to taste of it. He never bought any Wine, yet drunk of it every day, either by tasting what the publick Criers carri'd about, or staying in the streets those, who had been buying at the Ca∣barets, of whom he begg'd a taste, as if he inten∣ded to buy himself of the same. Coming to Madrid upon a Mule, he cast such a mist before the eyes of his Hosts, that he kept the poor Beast onely with pieces of the Bed-mats on which he lay, and what other remnants of old Mats he could meet with.

There happen'd a necessity, one time, that he must take a Servant along with him, upon a Jour∣ney he had to make; but growing weary of him the first day of his service, he bethought himself of a pretty device to put him off. Pretending that he could not drink the Wine at the Inn where he then was, he sent the poor fellow to another, a good League distant, where he said there was much better. There was no way but to obey the com∣mands of his new Master; but, before his return, he was gone away, and had left false directions, where to find him, and so the poor Boy was forc'd to get back again to Madrid with a weeping-cross, as being reduc'd to play the Pilgrim, and beg all the way, for the Mony he had given him to buy the Wine prov'd naught. In fine, Dom Page  310 Marcos became the living pourtraiture of base thrift and avarice, and was so well known to be the most covetous Man that ever Spain bred, that, in Madrid, they had no other name for a miserable fellow, than Dom Marcos.

His Master, and all his Friends, told a thousand pleasant stories of him, and that even in his pre∣sence, for he never troubled himself at their dis∣course, as minding his own advantage more than their raillery, though he understood it well enough, and would put in ever and anon some grave saying or Apothegm. One of them was, that a Woman could never be handsome, if she lov'd to receive; nor ever deformed if she had any thing to give: And that a prudent and thrifty Man should never go to Bed, till he had made some advantage or other. This excellent Theory, seconded by as exact a Practice, had brought him in, by that time he was arriv'd to forty years of Age, ten thousand Crowns in ready mony, a vast sum for a Gentle∣man, waiting on a Grandee, especially one of Spain. But what will not a long process of time bring a Man to, when he robs himself of all he can, as well as other people.

Dom Marcos having thus acquir'd the reputa∣tion of being rich, without that of following any evil course or gaming, was soon look'd upon as an advantageous Match, by several Women, who, above all things, and with all the artifices imagi∣nable, prosecute their own concernments. A∣mong the many who proffer'd him their enjoy∣ments and liberty, (for Women in Spain are but a small degree above Slaves) there was one I∣sidora, a Woman that went for a Widdow, though Page  311 she had never been married, and that it was at least forty years since she had been a Maid. She seem'd to be much younger than she was, so well was she vers'd in the disguises and artifices, which Women sometimes use, to bely their Age and Wrinkles. Her fortune was measur'd according to her ex∣pence, which was very high for a Woman of her condition; insomuch that the common report, which is ever rash and apt to lye, gave her out to be worth, besides what she might have in Mony and Jewels, three hundred Pounds sterling per ann. and at least ten thousand Crowns in Houshold-stuff. He who propos'd the match between Dom Marcos and this Isidora, was a famous Trapanner, one that traded in all sorts of Commodities, and a Hole-sale-Marchant in the common Druggs of the female Sex. He gave Dom Marcos such an advan∣tageous account of the Lady Isidora, that it made his teeth water to be acquainted with her, a curio∣sity he had never had for any person before. Nay, he persuaded him so far that she was rich, and the Widdow of a Cavalier, of one of the best Houses of Andalusia, that, upon the first proposals, he accounted himself as good as married to her. That very day, this subtle Sollicitor of Venereal Causes, whose name was Gamara, prevail'd with Dom Marcos to go along with him to visit Isidora at her house. The covetous wretch was ravish'd at the neatness and magnificence of the House, into which Gamara brought him, but much better pleas'd, when he conductor assur'd him, that both it, and all within it belong'd to Isidora. He found therein such Houshold-stuff, such Alcoves, Couches, and a profusion of Perfumes, as might become a Page  312 Lady of the greatest quality, rather than the future Spouse of a simple Gentleman, that waited on a Grand Signor of Spain; and for her own part, he thought her at least a Goddess. Dom Marcos found her very busie, about some extraordinary Works, sitting between two of her Waiting-women, both so highly clad, and so handsome, that, notwithstanding the natural aversion he had for expence, and especially that occasion'd by a super∣fluous number of Domesticks, he would have mar∣ried Isidora, though 'twere onely out of an ambition he then had, to have, at his command, such beauti∣ful young Maids, as he took them to be. Isidora's discourse was so excellent, that it not onely pleas'd, but in a manner enchanted, Dom Marcos; and what made an absolute conquest of his heart, was a magnificent Collation, at which the fineness of the Linnen, and the sumptuousness of the Plate were answerable to the other rich Houshold-stuff of the Lady, at whose charge it was. There was present at this Collation a proper young Lad, named Au∣gustine, well cloath'd, whom Isidora said was her Nephew, and whom his good Aunt, to shew her fondness of him, diminutively called Augustinetto, though he were above twenty years of Age. I∣sidora and Augustinetto out-vy'd one the other in their treatment of Dom Marcos, and were ever presenting him with what they thought best in the Collation; and while our up-start Gentleman satisfi'd his half-starv'd Stomach with provisions for at least one week, at the charge of another, his ears were charm'd by the sweet Voice of the Waiting-woman Marcella, who, to the sound of a Virginal, sung certain passionate Airs. Dom Page  313 Marcos forgot his Gentility, and fed like a Farmer, and the Collation ended with the day, the light whereof growing deficient was suppli'd by that of four great wax-candles, in candlesticks of massie sil∣ver exquisitely wrought, which Dom Marcos imme∣diately resolv'd within himself to reform into one single Lamp, as soon as ever he were married to Isidora. Augustinetto took a Gitthar, and plaid several Sarabands, which the crafty Marcella, and the other Waiting-gentlewoman Inez, danc'd ad∣mirably well, exactly answering the sound of the Gitthar with their Castagnets. The discreet Gama∣ra whisper'd Dom Marcos in the ear, that the Lady Isidora went to bed betimes. The civil Gentleman staid not for a second advertisement, and there∣upon addressing himself to Isidora, with such extra∣ordinary complements, and so great protestations of love and service, as he had never made to any before, he took leave both of her, and her Nephew Signor Augustinetto, leaving them at liberty to say what they thought of him.

Dom Marcos being thus deeply fallen in love with Isidora, but much more with her mony, ac∣knowledg'd to Gamara, who accompani'd him to his own lodging, that the beautiful Widow had smitten him in the more amorous part of his soul, and that he would have parted with a finger, on condition he were already marri'd to her; inasmuch as he had never met with any woman that pleas'd his fancy better than she did, telling him withall, that after their marriage, she should not live at such an extravagant rate.

She lives rather like a Princess, than the wife of a private person, says the cautious Dom Marcos to the dissembling Page  314 companion Gamara, and considers not, that the houshold-stuff and plate she hath, being turn'd in∣to mony, and that mony added to that which I have, might bring in a considerable yearly rent, which we may lay up for a reserve, and, by the in∣dustry it hath pleas'd God to bestow on me, raise a plentiful estate and fortunes for the children we may have between us. But if Heaven shall think fit, that we have no issue, since Isidora hath a hope∣ful Nephew, we will settle all we shall gather together upon him, provided he answer the expe∣ctation I have of his well-doing.

Dom Marcos entertain'd Gamara with these discourses, or others to the same effect, walking still on, till he found himself just at the door of his lodging. Gamara took his leave of him, after he had promised, that the next day he would conclude his marriage with Isidora, and given him this rea∣son for his expedition therein, That affairs of that nature, many times, miscarried as much by delay as by the death of either of the parties. Dom Marcos kindly embrac'd the dear carrier on of his designs, and dismiss'd him. He went immediately back to Isidora, to give her an account in what posture he had left her humble Servant, and in the mean time our amorous Gentleman taking out of his pocket the end of a wax-candle, he fasten'd it to the point of his sword, and having lighted it at a lamp, which burn'd before a publick Crucifix, in a place hard by, not without making a kind of ejaculatory prayer, for the good success of his marriage, he open'd, with a Mistress-key, the door of the house where he lay, and laid himself down in his wretch∣ed bed, rather to pass away the night in reflecting on his Loves, than in sleeping.

Page  315The next morning Gamara comes to him, and acquainted him with the good news of the con∣clusion of his marrirge with Isidora, who referred it to Dom Marcos, to appoint the day, on which it should be solemnized. The amorous Miser told Gamara, that though he were married that very day, yet would it not be as soon as he wish'd it. Gamara repli'd, that it depended wholly on him∣self to consummate his own happiness: whereupon Dom Marcos, embracing him, desir'd the contract might be drawn up that very day. He appointed Gamara to meet him in the afternoon, as soon as he pleas'd, after he had waited on his Master at dinner. They both punctually met at the time and place appointed. They went to Isidora's house, where Dom Marcos was more nobly entertain'd than he had been the time before. Marcella sung; Inez danc'd; Augustinetto plai'd on the Gitthar; and Isidora, the principal Actress, gave her future husband an extraordinary Treatment, whereof she knew who should defray the charge at last. He de∣vour'd all was presented to him with as little re∣morse as a Wolf half-starv'd; and yet he could not forbear censuring the superfluity of the expence in his soul. Gamara was sent for a publick Notary; he brought one to act that part. The Articles of the Treaty of Marriage were soon set down, and as soon signed on both sides.

There was a motion made to Dom Marcos, that he would play a game at Primero, to pass away the time.

Heaven and all the Inhabitants of it for∣bid, says Dom Marcos, I play at any kind of game! No, no; I serve a Master, who would turn me out of his service within a quarter of an Page  316 hour, if he should ever hear that I were a Game∣ster; and for my own part, I am not so well skill'd, as to know the Cards. How infinitely am I pleas'd with what Signor Dom Marcos hath said, replies Isidora, I am every day preaching the same thing to my Nephew Augustinetto, but the world is come to that pass now, that the younger sort think themselves too wise, to receive the good counsels and admonitions of their elders, much more to follow them. Go thy ways, unhap∣py boy, says she to Augustinetto, go bid Marcella and Inez make an end of their dinner, and come and divert the company with their Castagnets.

While Augustinetto was gone down to call up the Maids, Dom Marcos, addressing himself to Isi∣dora, acquainted her with his mind in these terms.

If Augustinetto will do as I would have him, there are two things he must abstain from, as the most contrary to my nature of any thing in the world, and that is, Gaming, and being abroad late in the night. I am desirous that all those who lie within my doors should be in their beds be∣times, and that, as soon as it is dark, the house-doors should be well bolted and lock'd. Not that I am of a distrustful humour; nay, on the contra∣ry, I do not think any thing more impertinent than to be so, especially when a man hath an honest and careful wife, as I am more than in hopes to have: but those houses, where there is any thing to be taken, can never be too secure from Thieves, and House-breakers, for if there be but a sink-hole left open, they will make a shift to get in; and for my part, it would break my heart, if some idle rascal of a Thief, without Page  317 taking any other pains, than what it co••s him to carry away what he finds, should, in an instant, convey away, what I had much ado o get toge∣ther in many years. For these rrasons therefore, continues Dom Marcos, I will absolutely forbid him Gaming and Night-walking, or resign him up to be dealt with according to the discretion of the Devil, for Dom Marcos shall be no longer his Tutor.

The cholerick Signor spoke these last words with so much transportation, that it cost Isidora a great many intreaties and submissions, to lay his great spirit, and reduce him to his ordinary tranquility. She did as good as fall on her knees, to desire Dom Marcos, that he would be no longer angry, assuring him, that her Nephew should give him all the satis∣faction he could expect, for he was but young, and of the most docile and compliant nature of any she had ever known.

They fell into some other discourse, upon the coming in of Augustine and the Dancing-women, and they spent some part of the night in dancing and singing. Dom Marcos, to spare himself the trouble of returning to his own lodging, would have persuaded Isidora, to condescend, that they might, from that time, live together, as man and wife, or that at least he might lie in her house, in regard it was grown later than he had imagin'd. But she put on a severe countenance, and earnestly pro∣tested, that ever since the unhappy day that had re∣duc'd her to the condition of Widdow-hood, never had any man set his foot into the chast bed which had sometime been her dear Lord's, nor should any, till the Church had interpos'd her authority, and Page  318 that, while she were a widow, no person should ever lie under her roof, but her Nephew Augustine.

Dom Marcos was much pleas'd with her resolu∣tion, notwithstanding his amorous impatience. He bid her good-night, return'd to his lodging, accom∣pani'd by Gamara, took out of his pocket the can∣dle's end, stuck it to the point of his sword, lighted it at the Lamp before the Crucifix, in a word, did all he had done the night before, so punctual was he in all things, unless it were that he said not his prayers, as he had done, haply because he thought his business effected, and that he stood not in any need of Hea∣ven's further assistance. The Banes of Matrimony were soon ask'd out, for there happen'd to come two or three holy-days together. At last, the marriage, so much desir'd on both sides, was consummated, and the solemnity thereof occasion'd a greater ex∣pence then was expected from the penuriousness of the Bride-groom, who, out of a fear of making any breach in his ten thousand Crowns, borrow'd mony of his friends. The chiefest of his Master's servants were at the wedding, and took occasion ever and anon to commend the good choice he had made. The cheer was extraordinary, though at the charge of Dom Marcos, who for that time was con∣tent to defray all, and, by a prodigy of affection, had caus'd very rich cloaths to be made for Isidora and himself.

The Guests departed in good time, and, the coast being clear, Dom Marcos went himself and lock'd the doors, and shut to and barr'd the windows, not so much for the security of his wife, as that of the Trunks, wherein his mony lay, which he order'd to be brought into his own room and set close by the Page  319 nuptial bed. The young couple went to bed, and while Dom Marcos was groping for what he could not find, Marcella and Inez were grumbling in their own chamber, at the strange humour of their Master, and blaming the forwardness of their Mi∣stress, in taking a husband. Inez burst forth into down-right swearing, and said she had rather be a Lay-Sister in a Monastery, than Servant in a house, whereof the doors were lock'd up at nine of the clock.

And what would you do were you in my condition? says Marcella to Inez; for your busi∣ness is to go up and down, to provide for the house, but for my part, who am a Gentlewoman made up in haste, I must led a retir'd life, with the chaste spouse of a jealous husband, and, of all the Serenades, which were given under our win∣dows, I must hear no more talk, than of the plea∣sures of the next world. And yet we are not so much to be bemoan'd as our friend Augustinetto, says Inez. He hath spent his youth in waiting as a Gentleman-usher on her whom he call'd his Aunt, though she were no more so than I am, and now that he is come to write Man, she puts him under the tuition of a Paedagogue, who, no less than a hundred times a day, will reproach him with his diet and cloaths, and God onely knows and himself, whether he came honestly by them. Thou tell'st me in that somewhat I knew not be∣fore, replies Marcella, and I give over wondring at the severity our Mistress pretended to, when her Nephew ad honores grew a little more fami∣liar with us than she would have had him. Had I been any thing forward to believe his protesta∣tions, I should soon have depriv'd the Aunt of Page  320 the Nephew; but she hath bred me up from a child, and it is a certain gratitude, for us to be faithful to those, whose bread we eat. To tell thee the truth, continu'd Inez, I cannot find in my heart to have any avrsion for that young fel∣low, and I must confess, that it rais'd a great com∣passion in me, when I saw him onely dis-satisfi'd, and out of humour, among so many others who enjoy'd themselves and were merry.

In these discourses did the two Waiting-women spend the time, after they were got into bed, and such were their comments on the marriage of their Master. Honest Inez fell asleep, but Marcella had somewhat else to do. As soon as she perceiv'd that her companion was asleep, she puts on her own cloaths, and made up a great bundle of those of Isi∣dora's, and some of Dom Marcos's, which she had slily got out of their chamber, before the over-cau∣tious Signor had lock'd the door. Having dispatch'd her business, she went her ways, and, because she had no intention to return ag••n, she left open the doors of that part of the house where Isidora liv'd. A while after, Inez awakes, and not finding her companion a-bed with her, she was very desirous to know what should become of her at that time of the night. She hearken'd a while at Augustine's chamber-door, not without some distrust and jea∣lousie: but not hearing any noise within, she went to search for her in all those places where she con∣ceiv'd she might be, and found her not, but all the doors, through which she had pass'd, wide open. She went and knock'd at that of the new-married couple, and did it with so much noise as put them into a fright. She told them that Marcella was run Page  321 away, that she had left the doors open, and she was afraid, that she had carried somewhat with her, whereof she intended not ever to make any resti∣tution. Dom Marcos starts out of bed, as a person out of his wits, ran to look for his cloaths, but could not find them, nor Isidora's wedding-gown. But what compleated his distraction, was, that, after a light was brought into the room, he found, what he least suspected, his dear spouse of a far different figure, from that, under which he had been so much taken with her; nay, so dreadful was the spe∣ctacle, that the narrow-hearted fellow was ready to swound. The poor Lady sitting up half-asleep, half-awake in her bed, never minded, that her periwig was fallen off. At last, she sees it on the ground, fallen down by the bed-side, and, taking it up, would have put it on; but a thing is never well, when it is done with too much precipitation. She put on the dress with that part before which should have been behind, so that her face, which, so betimes in the morning, had not receiv'd all its diurnal orna∣ments, appear'd in a very odd posture, and painted as it was, seem'd so dreadful to Dom Marcos, that he was afraid it might be some apparition. If he cast his eyes on her, he saw an uncouth monster, and if he look'd about the room, he could not see his cloaths. Isidora, extremely at a loss, made a shift to perceive that some of her counterfeit teeth were entangled in the long, brushy, and well-bristled mu∣stachoes of her husband. She went to retrive them thence with much confusion; but the poor man, whom she had frighten'd almost out of himself, imagining she had no reason to put her hands so near his face, out of any other design, than to take Page  322 him by the throat, or scratch out his eyes, retrea∣ted, and shunn'd her approaches, with so much nimbleness, that she, not admitted to close with him, was at last forc'd to acknowledge, that his Mustachoes had got away some of her teeth. Dom Marcos, upon that, began to stroak them up, and having met with his Wives teeth, which had some∣time been those of an Elephant, an original Inha∣bitant of Africk, or the East-Indies, he flung them at her head with much indignation. She gather'd them together, as well those scatter'd in the Bed, as those about the Room, and made her escape into a little Closet, with that exquisite treasure, and some head-brushes, which she took out of the Bag, where her Night-cloaths were.

In the mean time, Dom Marcos having suffici∣ently renounc'd his Christianity, set himself down in a chair, where he made most sad reflections on the misfortune had befallen him, in marrying a woman, who, by the snows of at least sixty winters, that powder'd her shav'd pate, had discover'd her self to be older than he was, by twenty years, yet not so well stricken in them, but that she might spend the other score in his company, nay, haply more. Augustinetto, who was awak'd by the noise, came into the room, with his cloaths half off, half on, and did all lay in his power to appease the Hus∣band of his Aunt by adoption: but all the Answer the poor Man could make to his remonstrances, was, to sigh, and sometimes smite his thighs, some∣times his face, with his bare hand. Then was it, that he bethought him of a noble Gold chain he had borrow'd, to adorn himself withal on his Wed∣ding-day; but all he had left of it, was that sad Page  323 remembrance. Marcella had got it in the bundle of cloaths, which she had carried away. He look'd up and down for it, with some patience and tran∣quility, very diligently searching every crany about the Chamber: but when he had wearied himself with searching, and was convinc'd, that it was lost, together with all the pains he had taken to look for it, never was there such a conflict of rage and af∣fliction, as then distracted the poor Dom Marcos. His sighs were so loud, that, if people had been awake, they might have been heard over the whole quarter. Upon those doleful lamentations, Isidora comes out of the closet, but so chang'd, and so beautiful, that he thought his Wife now the third time metamorphos'd. He look'd on her with a certain astonishment, and spoke not to her with any indignation. He took out of one of his Trunks the cloaths he wore every day, put them on, and, follow'd by Augustinetto, went out to weary him∣self in running up and down the streets, after the mischievous Marcella. They sought, and search'd, and enquir'd, but all to no purpose, till the clock striking twelve minded them of their Dinner, which was made up of what had been left of the Wedding-feast. Dom Marcos and Isidora fell a quarrelling, as people that were desirous to eat, and fed as heartily as people inclining to quarrel. Yet would Isidora now and then put in a word, to pa∣cifie Dom Marcos, and to bring him into his for∣mer peaceable humour, speaking to him with the greatest humility and mildness imaginable, and Augustinetto did all he could to make an accom∣modation between them: but the loss of the Chain of Gold was as great a torment to Dom Page  324 Marcos, as if he had been run through the Body with a Dagger.

They were ready to rise from the Table, and onely staid for Augustinetto to make an end, who minded his belly more than their difference, when there came into the room two men, from the Ad∣miral of Casteel's Steward, to entreat Madam I∣sidora, that she would return the Plate he had lent her for fifteen days, and which she had now kept a month. Isidora knew not any other Answer to make them, than that it should be forth-coming. Dom Marcos told them that it was now his, and that he would keep it. One of the men staid in the room, to be in sight of what they made so much difficulty to restore, while the other went to the Steward, who immediately came, and reproach'd Isidora with her unhandsome carriage, made little account of the opposition of Dom Marcos, and all he had to say for himself, carried away the Plate, and left the Man and Wife ready to quarrel, upon this new occasion of quarreling. Their contest was almost brought to an accommodation, when a Broker, accompanied by his Servants, and some Porters, came into the room, and told Isidora, that, since she was richly match'd, he came for the Houshold-stuff she had taken upon hire, together with the Brokage-mony, unless she had a mind to buy them out-right, and so spare him the trouble of taking them down.

This unexpected accident put Dom Marcos out of all patience; he would have beaten the Broker; the Broker made it appear that he was a man as able to return as to receive, and fell a railing at Isidora, who return'd him as good as he brought. Page  325 He beat her; she reveng'd her self as well as she could, the consequence whereof was, that, in a short time, the floor was strew'd with the teeth and hair of Isidora, and the cloak, hat, and gloves of Dom Marcos, who, though he had little reason for it, would needs take his Wife's part.

While the Combatants gather up the broken pieces of their harness, and the Broker carries away the goods, and is paid for the use of them, as a Bro∣ker, and that all together make a noise as if Hell were broke loose, the Landlord of the House, who had Lodgings in some part of it, comes into Isi∣dora's room, and told her, that he would not have such a stir kept in his House, and that if they re∣solv'd to continue it, they should look out for ano∣ther Lodging.

How now, you impertinent Cox∣comb, says Dom Marcos, do you get out of mine, or I shall send you hence with more expedition than you came hither.
The Landlord answer'd him with a box on the ear; he who had receiv'd it, being weary of that kind of engagement, look'd about for his Sword or Ponyard; but Marcella had carri'd them away. Isidora and her pretended Nephew step'd in between them, and appeas'd the Landlord, but could prevail little with Dom Mar∣cos, who running his head against the walls, call'd Isidora a thousand damn'd-base-pilfering-impu∣dent-cheating-and-trapanning-Whores. Isidora made him Answer, weeping, that she could not use too much subtilty, to draw in so deserving a Dom Marcos as he was, and therefore he should rather applaud her ingenuity, than beat her, as he had done, adding withal, that a Husband, even in point of honour, was blameable for beating his Wife. Page  326Dom Marcos, swearing very learnedly, protested, that he knew no other point of honour than his Mony, and that he would be unmarried. Isidora, with an excessive humility, made a contrary pro∣testation, that she would never consent thereto; swore to Dom Marcos, that it was not in his power to dissolve the sacred tye of a lawful Marriage, and advis'd him to patience.

He was once more appeas'd, and bethought himself, that a new Lodging must be taken, the old one being grown too hot for them. Dom Marcos and the Nephew went out to take one, and so I∣sidora had a little relaxation. These unexpected accidents rais'd a little commotion within her, but when she look'd about the room, and saw, not the Hangings, for those were gone, but the Trunks well lin'd with Silver, she took heart, and bore the more patiently the testy disposition of the Husband which brought them thither.

Dom Marcos took some convenient Lodgings in the same Quarter, where his Master liv'd, and sent back Augustinetto to dine with his Aunt, being him∣self, as he said, too much press'd with grief, to eat out of the same Dish with that transcendent Cheat. But in the evening he came to her, with all the day's vexation, and cruel as a Tygre; not so much out of kindness to the Woman, as to visit his Trunks, and, by his presence, to secure them. I∣sidora entertain'd him with all the submissions and complacency imaginable; insomuch that they lay together, and pass'd away the night without any alarms. In the morning, as soon as she was dress'd, she had the confidence to desire him, to go to the new Lodgings, there to receive the Goods, which she Page  327 would order her Nephew and Inez to see brought thither in a Waggon. Dom Marcos went thither, and, while he was contriving how to dispose of them into several rooms, the ungrateful Isidora, the young Rogue Augustine, and the perfidious Inez plotted together, and pack'd up all the best things in a Wagon, got into it themselves, leave Madrid, and take their way towards Barcelona. Dom Marcos grew weary of staying for them, and went back to his old quarters, where he found the Doors lock'd, and was told by the Neighbours, that they were gone away with the Goods many hours since. He return'd to the place from whence he came, imagining he had miss'd the Wagon by the way, but found no more than what he had left there. He immediately marches back again, mistrusting what misfortune might have happened to him; he breaks open the Door, and found there, onely some old Bed-steeds, Stools, Tables, and Fire-irons, which it seems they thought either too troublesome, or not worth the carrying away. There was no body to be reveng'd on but himself; his venerable Beard and Hair were the first sufferers for his folly; then his Eyes; he bit his Fingers till the blood gush'd out, and had a great temptation to make away with himself; but the hour was not yet come.

There are not any so unfortunate, but they flat∣ter themselves with some hope: he ran up and down to all the Inns about Madrid, to find out those, who had left him so basely in the lurch, but could not meet with any tidings of them. Isidora had not been so simple as to hire a Wagon that should return thither any more; she had taken it up at a Village not far from Madrid, and, to a∣void Page  328 pursuit, had agreed with the Wagoner, that he should make no longer stay in the City, than were requisite to take in her self, her company, and her goods. Weaier than a Dog, that had run all day after a Hare and mist her, the poor Gentleman was returning from his searching the Inns about the City and Suburbs, when it was his chance, to meet Marcella full-but in the streets. He laid hold of her,

Have I met with thee, O thou most mis∣chievous of all thy Sex, said he, thou shalt now restore all thou hast stollen from me. O my God, my dear Creator, replies the crafty Bag∣gage, without the least discovery of any trouble, how did it always run in my thoughts, that all the mischief would fall upon my head! My dearest Master, be pleas'd to hear me, for the Blessed Virgin's sake: do but give me the hearing, be∣fore your dishonour me. I am an honest Maid, and of good repute, and the least scandal you should force me to give my Neighbour, would be infinitely prejudicial to me, for I am upon the point of marriage. Be pleas'd to go along with me into the Entry of this House, and afford me but your patient attention for a quarter of an hour, and I will tell you what is become of your Chain, and all you have lost. I had been already inform'd, that I was charg'd with all that had pass'd, and I told my Mistress what it would come to, when she commanded me to do what I accordingly did: but she was Mistress; I, her Servant. Wo is me! How miserable are they whose dependance is upon others, and what pains they take, and what mischief they must some∣times do, to earn a piece of bread.

Page  329Dom Marcos was a person guilty of as little malice as any other; the tears and eloquence of the crafty Marcella prevail'd with him, not onely to hearken to her, but also to believe what she said to him. He went therefore along with her into the en∣try of a great house, where she told him, that Isidora was an old decai'd Curtezan, who had ruin'd all those who were so unhppy as to fall in love with her, yet had not much advantag'd her self thereby, by reason of the vast expences she was at. She fur∣ther acquainted him with what she had understood from her companion Inez, that Augustintto was not Isidora's Nephew, but a kind Night-bird, the Bastard of another Curtezan, of her acquaintance, and that she maintain'd him, under the notion o her Nephew, to gain her self the greater authority among those of her own profession, and to revenge her quarrels. She told him, that she had deliver'd th gold-chain & the other things she had carri'd away, to that young Hector, & that it was by his order, she had gone away in the night, and without taking her leave, which was a pure trick put upon her, that she onely might be thought guilty of so lud an action.

This plausible story Marcella told Dom Marcos, out of a hope it might procure her escape out of his hands, or at least to observe the good custom, which most Servants have, to be very apt to lie, and to tell of their Masters, as well what they do not, as wht they do, know. She concluded her vindication, with a promise that all things should e return'd him when he least expected it, exhorting him in the men time to exercise his patience.

You speak very well, says Dom Marcos to hr, but I think it as likely, that I shall never see ay thig again; Page  330 there being but little probability, that the perfidi∣ous Quean, who hath carried away all I have been gathering together these thirty years, should ere come back again to make me any restitution.
He thereupon told Marcella all that had happen'd at Isidora's lodgings since her departure thence.
Is it possible, she should be at such a loss of all con∣science, says the leud Marcella to him. Ah! my dear Master, now I perceive, it was not without just grounds, that I pitied your condition; but I durst not tell you so much, for the very night your tings were carried away, I was representing it my Mistess, that it would be unworthily done, to meddle with your chain; but what bitter words, and blows it cost my poor carcase, he above onely knows. I have told thee but the truth, how all things stand, says Dom Marcos to her, fetching a deep sigh, and the worst of it is, that I have not the least apprehension of any remedy. I have then somewhat to propose to you in this extremity, repli'd Marcella. There is a certain person in this City, of my acquaintance, who, with God's permission, will tell you where you may find these people, who have so highly injur'd you. He is a person admirable for his deep learning, and one that hath Legions of Devils at his devotion, and commnds them with such an absolute power, as if he were the Prince of darkness him∣self. And what makes moe for the attainment of your desires, you are to know, that this ex∣cellent man hath so great a kindness for me, that I am in hopes ere long to be his wife.

The credulous Dom Marcos entreated her, of all love, that she would bring him to the sight of Page  331 this miracle of the Black Art; which Marcella pro∣mis'd she would do, and appointed him to meet her, the next day, at the same place. Dom Marcos came, and had not been there long, ere Marcella came also, who immediately told the besotted man, that the Magician, of whom she had spoken to him the day before, had already taken some pains, in order to the finding out of what had been stollen from him, and that, to carry on his work, he want∣ed onely a certain quantity of Amber, Musk, and some other Perfumes, to entertain the Spirits he was to invoke, who were all of the first order, and of the best Houses in Hell. Dom Marcos, without any deliberation, carri'd Marcella to the Drug∣sters, and bought what quantities thereof she ap∣pointed him, so infinitely did he think himself oblig'd to her, that she had found him out a Magici∣an. She afterwards conducted him to an obscure house, which look'd very suspitiously, where, in a ground-room, or rather a Cellar, wretchedly matted about, he was receiv'd, by a man in a long Cassock, with a huge bushy beard, who spoke to him with a great deal of gravity.

After a little discourse, the Student of the infernal Sciences, whom Dom Marcos look'd on with abun∣dance of respect and fear, lighted two black wax-candles, and gave them the frighten'd fellow to hold, in each hand one; caus'd him to sit down in a very low chair, and exhorted him, but too late, not to fear any thing. He put afterwards several que∣stions to him, as to his age, course of lfe, and the goods which had been taken away from him; and after he had look'd into a Glss that stood by, and read some time in a certain book, he told Dom Page  332 Marcos, who was ready to▪— for fear, that he had found out where the things were, and thereupon describ'd them, one after another, so exactly, accor∣ding to the instructions he had receiv'd from Mar∣cella, that Dom Marcos let the candles fall out of his hands, to go and embrace him about the neck. The grave Magician blam'd him very much for his impatience, and told him, that the operations of his infallible Art requir'd a serious and reserv'd composure of the body, adding withal, that, for acti∣ons, of a lower degree of confidence & familiarity, the Spirits had sometimes beaten, nay strangled some men. Dom Marcos grew pale at those words, and setled himself again in his chair, after he had taken up the candles.

The Magician ask'd for the perfumes, which Dom Marcos had bought, and the counterfeit Mar∣cella deliver'd them to him. Till then, she had been a deout spectator of the Ceremonies; but, being now upon the point of Invocation, he order'd her to quit the room, pretending that the Spirits could not endure the company of woman-kind, especially if there were any mistrust of the dilapidation of teir Virginity. Marcella, making a low curtzy, went out of the room, and the Magician taking a copper chaffing-dish, full of coals, made as if he cst on them the perfumes, which Dom Marcos had brought, but he had mix'd among them a good quantity of stinking sulphur, which made such a thick smok, that the Magician himself, who had unadvsdly bow'd down his head too near the cols, was almost choak'd by it. He cough'd as vio∣lnly as if he had had a burr in his throat, and so oten, that his bushy beard, which was not of the Page  333 growth of the Country where it was then planted, and it seems had not been well fasten'd, fell down, and discover'd the Magician, to be the same pernicious Ga∣mara, who had trapann'd him into all his misfortunes.

Upon this discovery, Dom Marcos made no difficulty to fling away his magical candles and to take the Im∣postor by the throat, which he grasp'd as hard as he could, crying out, with a dreadful voice, Thieves, Thieves. The Magistrate, attended by some Officers, chanc'd to pass by just at that time; They came into the house, where they imagin'd the noise was made, which was the greater, in regard Gamara, whom Dom Marcos still had by the throat, cri'd out as loud as the other. The Officers, at their entrance into the house, met with Marcella, whom they secur'd, and, after∣wards, having broke open the door of the Necroman∣tical chamber, they found Dom Marcos and Gamara grapled together, and tumbling up and down the floor. The Magistrate knew Gamara for a person, he had look'd after a long time, and one he had order to ap∣prehend as a notorious Night-walker, a Pandar, and a searcher of other mens houses without any Commissi∣on. He commanded them all three to prison, and caus'd an inventory to be taken of all things found in the room. Dom Marcos was set at liberty the next day, up∣on his Master's engagement for him. He was brought in as a witness against Gamara and Marcella, who were found guilty of having stollen those goods of his which were named in the Inventory. There were many other things found, some whereof they had stollen, some taken in, as Pawns, for Gamara was a Jew, and consequently a Broker, and an Usurer. When he was taken, he was upon the point of marriage with Mar∣cella, who brought him, as a portion, besides what Page  334 she had stoll'n from Dom Marcos, an inclination to steal, not inferiour to that of her future husband; an aptitude to learn any thing he would have taught her, nay to exceed her Tutor, and a body handsome, whole∣some, and young enough, to be often bought, often seal'd and deliver'd, and likely to weather out, a long time, all the services and inconveniences of Curteza∣nism.

The justness of Dom Marcos's cause, supported by the mediation of his Master, procur'd him the restitu∣tion of all had been stollen from him. Gamara was condemn'd to the Gallies for the remainder of his life, unless he should out-live ninety-nine years; and Mar∣cella was order'd to be severely whipp'd, and banish'd; and the common opinion was, that they were both very favourably dealt with. As for Dom Marcos, he was not so glad of having recover'd some of his things, and being reveng'd of Gamara and Marcella, as trou∣bled, that the cheating Rogue was no real Magician. The loss of his ten thousand Crowns made him in a manner distracted. He went every day to visit all the Inns about Madrid, till, at last, he met with certain Mule-drivers, who, returning from Barcelona, told him, that they had met, within four or five days jour∣ny of Madrid, a Wagon, loaden with houshold-stuff, in which there were two women and a young man, and that they were forc'd to make some stay at an Inn, be∣cause two of their Mules had di'd by the way, through over-driving. They describ'd the man and the two women, so as that Dom Marcos presum'd they could be no other than Isidora, Inez, and Augustine. Upon this advertisement, without any further deliberation, he put himself into a Pilgrim's habit, and having got Letters of recommendation from his Master, to the Page  335 Vice-Roy of Catalonia, and a Decree out of the Court against his fugitive wife, he took his way towards Bar∣celona, sometimes a foot, sometimes on Mules, and got thither in a few days.

He went immediately to the Port, to take up his lodging, and the first thing he saw, as he came into it, was his own Trunks, carried by Porters into a Shallop, and Isidora, Inez, and Augustine marching after them, as a Convoy, to be thence convey'd into a Vessel that lay in the Haven, wherein they were to embark for Naples. Dom Marcos follow'd his enemies, and went along with them into the Shallop, as fierce as a Lion. They knew him not, by reason of his broad-brimm'd Pilgrim's hat, and took him for one going to our Lady's of Loretto, whereas the Mariners receiv'd him as one of the same company, because he came in so confidently along with them.

Dom Marcos, being thus got into the Shallop, could not sit still, by reason of the distraction of his thoughts, not so much out of any reflection what should become of himself, as what should become of his Trunks. In the mean time, the Shallop made to∣wards the Vessel, and with such speed, or rather Dom Marcos was so taken up with what run in his mind, that he was got under the Vessel, ere he thought him∣self near her. They began to get up the things; which action awaken'd Dom Marcos out of the Lethargy he was in, which yet was not such, but that he still had his eye on the dearest of his Trunks wherein all his mony wa▪ One of the Marriner came to fasten that Trunk, with ome others, to the pully, to be drawn up into the Vessel. Then it ws, that Dom Marcos forgot himelf; he saw he Trunk fasten'd; though he sate close by, yet was not mov'd; but seeing it lifted up in Page  336 the air, he laid hold on it with both hands, by the iron rings, whereby it was remov'd from one place to another, resolv'd never to part with it any more. 'Tis possible, he might have had his desire; for what will not a covetous person do, to preserve his mony? But, as ill fortune would have it, that Trunk got loose from the other two, which were fasten'd with it, and falling just upon the head of the unfortunate Miser, who yet would not let go his hold, tumbled him into the Sea, and thence into another place ten times deeper than it. Isidora, Inez, and Augustine knew him, just as he and the Trunk were falling into the water: but the loss of the one put them into a grea∣ter trouble, than the revenge they fear'd from the other. Augustine, enrag'd to see such a vast summe of mony lost, and not able to smother the first eruptions of his fury, gave the Mariner, who had been so negli∣gent in the fastning of the Trunks, a hearty blow over the face. The Mrriner return'd it with interest, and prosecuted his revenge so far, till, at lst, he turn'd him over-board. As he was falling into the water, he laid hold on the unfortunate Isidora, who could not lay hold on any thing, and so was forc'd to accompany her dear Nephew, who, much against his will, went to see what was become of Dom Marcos. Inez made a shift to get up into the Vessel, with what was re∣maining of the goods, which she squander'd away in a short time at Naples; and, after she had traded, and liv'd many years, a Curtezan, she at last di'd like a Curtezan, that is, in the Hospital.

FINIS.
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