A satyr against marriage directed to that inconsiderable animal called husband.

A SATYR AGAINST MARRIAGE: Directed to that Inconsiderable Animal, called HUSBAND.

HVsband! thou Dull unpittied Miscreant, Wedded to Noise, to Misery, and Want; Sold an Eternal Vassal for thy Life, Oblig'd to Cherish, and to Heat a Wife: Drudge on till Fifty; at thy Own Expence Breath out thy Life in one Impertinence; Repeat thy loath'd Embraces every Night Prompted to Act, by Duty (not Delight:) Christen thy froward Bantling every Year, And carefully thy Spurious Issue Rear: Go once a Week to see the Brat at Nurse, And let the Young Impostor drein thy Purse: Hedg-Sparrow-like, what Cuckoo's have begot Do thou maintain, Incorrigible Sott. Oh! I could curse the Pimp that could do less, He's beneath Pitty, and beyond Redress: Pox on him! let him go: what can I say? Anathema's on him are Thrown away; The wretch is marry'd, & has known the worst, And now his Blessing is, he can't be Curst. Marry'd! O Hell and Furies! Name it not, Hence, hence you Holy Cheats; a Plot, a Plot. Marriage is but a Licens'd way to Sin, A Nooze to catch Religious Wood-cocks in: Or the Nick-name of some Malicious Friend, Begot in Hell to Prosecute Mankind. 'Tis the Destroyer of Our Peace and Health, Mispender of our precious Time and Wealth; The Enemy to Wit, Valour, Mirth, all That we can Virtuous, Good, or Pleasant call. By Day 'tis nothing but an endless Noise; By Night the Eccho of Forgotten Joys: Abroad the Sport and Wonder of the Crowd, At Home the hourly breach of what we vow'd: In it's Opium to our Lustful Rage, Which sleeps a while, and wakes again in Age. It heaps on all Men much (but useless) Care, Forthwith more Trouble, they less Happy are; It checks Youth, shortens life, & taints the mind, Our Sences pauls, and strikes our Reason blind. Ye Gods! that Man by his own Slavish Law, Should on himself such Inconvenience draw: If we would Wiser Natures Laws Obey. Those chalk him out a far more pleasant way, She bids freely Look, Like, and Enjoy. Therefore when lusty Youth & Wine conspire To Flame the Blood unto a Generous Fire; We must not think the Gallant will Indure The Durient Raging of his Calenture: Nor always in his single Pleasures Burn, Tho' Natures Hand-maid sometime serves the turn: No, he must have a sprightly youthful Wench, In equal floods of Love, his flame to quench; One that will hold him in her Clasping Arm, And in that Circle all his Spirits Charm; That with New Motion, and unpractis'd Art, Can raise his Soul, & then insnare his Heart. Hence springs the Noble, Fortunate, and Great, Always Begot in Passion, and in Seat: But the Dull Off-spring of the Marriage-Bed, What is it? but a Humane shape in Lead: A Sloathful Lump Ingender'd of all Ills, Begot like D—against the Parents Wills. If it be Cukoldiz'd, it's Doubly Spoil'd, The Mothers Fear's Intail'd upon the Child. Thus whether Illegitimate, or Not, Cowards and Fools in Wedlock are Begot: Let no Enobled Soul himself Debase, By Lawful Ways to Dasterdize his Race; But if he must Pay Natures Debt in Kind, To check the growing Danger, let him find Some willing Female out; What tho' she be The very Scum and Dregs of Infamy: Tho' she be Linsey-Woolsey, Baud & Whore, Close-stool to Venus, Natures Common-shore, Impudence, Folly, Brandy, and Disease, The Sundays Crack for Suburb-Prentices; What then? she's better then a Wife by half, And if thou'rt still Unmarry'd, thou art safe. with whores thou can'st but venture, what is lost May be Redeem'd again with Care and Cost; But a Damn'd Wife, Inevitable Fate, Destroys, Soul, Body, Credit, and Estates.

FINIS.