The history of philosophy, in eight parts by Thomas Stanley.

Scen. I.

Strepsiades, Phidippides, Servant.

Streps.

OH, oh, Great Iove, how long a night is this, how endlesse! Will't neer be day? I heard the Cock again, Yet still my servants snore; 'tis but of late They durst do thus:* 1.1 curse o' this war that awes me, And will not suffer me to beat the Rogues. My good Son sleeps too, wrapt ore head and ears: Well, let me try to bear them company; Alasse, I cannot, so perplext and tortur'd With charges, bills for Horse-meat, interest: All for this hopefull Son, who in's curl'd locks, Aides matches, keeps his Coach, and dreames of Horses, Whilst I (unhappy!) see th' unwelcome Moon Bring on the Quarter day, and threaten use-mony. Boy, snuffe the light, bring my account book hither, That I may summe my debts and interest: Let's see, twelve pound to Pasia; ha! twelve pound To Pasia, how laid out? to buy* 1.2 Coppatia: Would I had paid this eye for him.

Phid.

Hold Philo, You'r out of the way, begin again.

Streps.

I this, This is the misery that ruines me; His very sleeps are taken up with Horses.

Phid.

How many courses will the manage hold.

Streps.

Many a weary course thou leads thy Father: But how much more owe I then this to Pasia?

Three pound t' Amynias for Chariot wheeles.

Phid.

Go sirrah, take that horse and turn him out.

Streps.

I thou hast turned me out of all my means, Charges at Law will eat me up, my Creditours Threaten to sue me to an execution.

Phid.

Why do you wake all night, and tosse so Father?

Streps.

I cannot sleep, the Scrivener doth so bite me.

Phid.

Yet let me rest a little longer.

Streps.

Do so. All these will one day light upon thy head, Curs'd be the houre when I first saw thy Mother, I liv'd before most sweetly in the Country, Well stock't with Sheep and Bees, Olives and Grapes, Till from the Megaclean house I took This Neece of Megacles out of the City, Well fashion'd, highly bred, and richly cloathed; We married, as I said: and lay together: I sinelling strong of Drugs and greasie Wool; But she of Unguents, Crocus wanton Kisses, Of vain expence, dainties, and luxury; I will not tell the idle life she led, And yet she spun that I have often told her, Showing this Coat,* 1.3 you spin a fair thread woman.

Serv.

Sir, all the Oyle ith' Lamp is wasted.

Streps.

Ha? Why didst thou put in such a Drunken week? If thou wert neer me I would beat thee.

Ser.

Why Sir?

Streps.

Because the week is thicker then the oyl. Well, at last my good Wife and I betwixt us got At last this Son; about his name we differ'd; Shee'd have it something that belong'd to horses, Callippides, Xanthippus, or Charippus; I from his Grandfather) Phidontdes. Long time we wrangled thus, at last agreed He should be called Phidippides; this Son She takes, and stroaking kindly, thus instructs him, "When thou art grown a man, frequent the City, "Follow the fashion, keep a Coach and Horses, "Like Megacles thy Uncle. No, said I, "Go in a homely Coat, and drive thy Goats "Into* 1.4 Phelleus, as they father doth. But my advice prevailed so little on him, That now he wasts my means in keeping horses, Which all this night I have been thinking how To remedy, and now have found the way; To which could I perswade him, I were happy.

Phidippides, Phidippides,

Phid.

Your will Sir.

Streps.

Kisse me, give me thy hand.

Phid.

Here Sir.

Streps.

Dost love me?

Phid.

By Neptune God of Horses.

Streps.

Do not name That God, for 'tis from him springs all my sorrow: But if thou lov'st me truly, heartily, O son be rul'd.

Phid.

In what should I be rul'd?

Streps.

Change without more delay thy course of life, And do••as I would have thee.

Phid.

What is that?

Streps.

But wilt thou do it?

Phid.

Yes by Bacchus will I.

Streps.

Come hither then, seest thou that little dore? That is the* 1.5 Ph••ontistherium of wise soules, Of learned men, that tell us Heaven's an Oven, And we the Coles inclosed in the wide arch: They, if we give 'em but a little mony, Will teach us gain all causes, right or wrong.

Phid.

Who can these be?

Streps.

Their names I know not; good They are, and busied in continuall study.

Phid.

Oh now I know the wretches that you mean, The meager, wan, proud, bare-foot, begging fellowes, Whose evill Geniuss's are Socrates And Chaerephon.

Streps.

Peace, talk no more so idly; If you'l obey a father, let me see you Give ore your horses, and turn one of these.

Phid.

Not I, by Bacchus, no though you should tempt me With all* 1.6 Leogoras his breed of Racers.

Streps.

Dear son be rul'd and learn.

Phid.

What should I learn?

Streps.

'Tis said they have two tongues, and one of them Able to prove any injustice reason; Couldst thou but learn that language, we were made, And might dispute our stubborn Creditours Out of the debts I have incurr'd for thee; They get not then a penny more then words.

Phid.

I cannot do't, were I so lean and Pale, I durst not look a Jocky in the face.

Streps.

By Ceres then you stay with me no longer, You, nor your Coach-horse, nor your Samphoras,

But all together pack out of my dores. My Uncle Megacles will neither see Me nor my horses want, so long I care not.

Notes

• * 1.1

  The Atheni∣ans in time of war with the Lacedaemonians made an Edict, that no man should beat his servants, lest they should go over to the enemy. Schol.
• * 1.2

  Their horses were named from the marks they had; if a K. Ceppatia; if an an S, Sampho∣r••. Schol.
• * 1.3

  〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 Sch. MS.
• * 1.4

  A stony craggy place in Attica, in such Goats delight most. Soli. M. S:
• * 1.5

  〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 Schol. M. S.
• * 1.6

  〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 Schol. M. ••.